The Secret to Being Your Best: Balance On and Off The Court

never really trying hard ever again. They transform themselves into a weaker player.

A young hockey player who was headed for the NHL once told me that hockey is an oval within an oval. Those inside the inner oval were actually playing the game. Those who were on the outside of the oval were on the ice, but were just watching the action and pretending to be playing the game. That is a great metaphor for what I am talking about here.

The fear of encountering another loss like the initial one is so intolerable to some players that they inhibit their drive, their power, and their aggression. This is what I call a drive towards mediocrity. The feeling of helplessness and hopelessness was so devastating that they never recover and refuse to give full effort again.

The champion rarely loses their aggression, sense of power, confidence or grit. Roger Federer is a good example of a champion that never quits. This is one reason that he tends to gain momentum at the end of matches while his opponent relinquishes power. You may have noticed that Federer seems humble, not grandiose and isn’t a perfectionist. He accepts failure and is not shattered by it. This allows him to bounce back and keep on trying.

Their sense of perfectionism and grandiosity sets players up for disappointment which is unbearable and they avoid all real effort in the future. These are the players who never do well under pressure and who never live up to potential.

The secret of the champion is that they have no fear of success, no fear of failure and therefore they give it their all every single time they play. This is a rare thing and terms like grit, resilience and a never-say-die attitude describe this trait. It is possible to develop grit and play like a champion.

If you notice that you seem to lose focus and give up as you play, you may be suffering in this way. This is due to an unconscious unresolved anxiety about losing which you have converted into a fear of trying to win. Look back at your biggest loss, see if it changed you and if so, go find someone to talk about it. Why suffer the same loss over and over again? And why live a life of mediocrity when it does not have to be that way?

You may be acting like a Salieri with a Mozart inside of you waiting to emerge

For consultations, treatment or on-site visits, contact Dr. Tom Ferraro Ph.D., Sport Psychologist, by phone at (516) 248-7189, e-mail DrTFerraro@aol.com or visit DrTomFerraro.com.

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The Secret to Being Your Best Balance On and Off the Court

By Rob Polishook

What’s the secret to sustained peak performance? Let’s face it … this is the million-dollar question!

Rafa, Federer, Swiatek, Bodosa and every junior are trying to solve this great mystery.

In my experience as a mental training coach, I believe the essential starting point is being in balance both on and off the court, as a person and as a player, and mentally, physically and spiritually.

Remember back to a time when you watched a player who got excessively nervous, tight or seemingly just froze during competition. You know that “deer in the headlights” look? We wonder: how can this happen? Especially when the athlete has hit the shot hundreds of times in practice? In fact, if we are honest with ourselves… many of us have experienced that situation when we compete. We know, and even feel, that there is this “little something” that holds us back and gets in the way of reaching the next level.

What is usually holding an athlete back is not what’s on the outside. It’s not the part that everyone can see: The athletic talent, strategy, fitness, and technique. These skills can always be improved upon. We all know that hitting an extra basket of serves won’t make a difference if the anxiety that the athlete is holding on the inside pervades and makes him or her tight? In fact, it could actually be counterproductive as bad habits may develop.

The key is to look at the whole person. The block might be stemming from, a bad test result, anxiety of losing, an argument with a friend, fear of a reoccurring injury, a break up with a loved one, or any type of trauma, Possibly, the nervousness may also have roots in the player trying to be someone they are not, comparing themselves, constantly judging themselves, listening to other expectations and ultimately feeling that whatever they do is just never good enough.

Basically, playing on a roller coaster whereas the results define their worth, their identity and their happiness. But whether it’s a single issue or an accumulation of issues, carrying the weight of an overwhelming load on the court will always impact performance, certainly in the long run.

Competitors are not robots, what’s on the inside affects how we play on the outside - it’s one and the same. So what happens if coaches, parents, fans, institutions or even the athlete themselves do not understand the connection between the person and the athlete? To being a whole human athlete and creating balance on and off the court? Unfortunately, we have all seen it, time and time again, however, we just have not named it or its cause. It’s a fast track to burnout, fears, tears and mental health issues. The player will never get the most of themselves because they are pushing, pulling, comparing, and judging so much that they neglect their innate talents, skills and who they are as a person and player.

From the Whole Human Athlete, person first perspective, its clear to see that playing tight, slumps, choking, or even the yips is not the problem. Rather, it’s a symptom to something else that the athlete is consciously or unconsciously holding which overwhelms them. This overwhelm, otherwise known as a “freeze” response is actually an instinctual defensive reaction that is normal and employed by animals in the wild and in humans for self-preservation. However, certainly, a loss of concentration for just a moment in sports can mean the difference in playing well or the eventual outcome.

When a player steps on the court, they don’t become a different person, but rather the same person inside and outside the lines. They are a unique individual with a heart, energy and spirit all to themselves. Their authentic self is what makes them who they are. This is where their resilience, determination, motivation, will, and drive come from. This is the foundation on which the athlete should build both their mentality and game style. We all have our own DNA. The key is tapping into this uniqueness, not assimilating to a one-size-fits-all mentality.

All players, must remember that they are Whole Human Athlete. From this lens, we immediately see a wider perspective, that of the whole person, not just the performance. Rafael Nadal once said “tennis isn’t who I am; it’s what I do.” This perspective allows us to play free and recognize, the game isn’t personal, rather it’s just a game.

Rob Polishook, MA, CPC is the founder of Inside the Zone Sports Performance Group. As a mental training coach, he works with the whole human athlete helping them to unleash their mental edge (heart.energy.spirit) through mindfulness, somatic psychology, animal wisdom and mental training skills. Rob is author of 2 best-selling books: Tennis Inside the Zone and Baseball Inside the Zone: Mental Training Workouts for Champions. He can be reached by phone at (973) 723-0314, by e-mail rob@insidethezone.com, by visiting insidethezone.com, following on Instagram @insidethezone