“Ten More Songs Over Ten Minutes”........Harrison

In Volume I, Issue III, columnist Sam Watson published his article, “Top 10 Songs Over 10 Minutes Long,” where he shared some of the greatest epics to grace pop music—a list we can only assume consciously omitted jazz and classical music for their lack of artistic merit. In this cleverly titled addendum to Sam’s original piece, I add a few of my own choices within the “pop” “music” realm.

10. “Emily” – Joanna Newsom (12:09)

Joanna Newsom is a complete anachronism. She crafts a distinct brand of renaissance folk, sung in her dulcimer, bard-like way, with total sincerity. And she still manages to kick ass in the eyes of us millennials. “Emily” is the haunting opener of her opus, Ys. FYI: She’s married to Andy Samberg.

9. “Colouring of Pigeons” – The Knife (11:01)

This recently split techno-spirit-duo, The Knife, show great consideration for their audience in raising our blood pressure less rapidly than usual. In collaboration with Mt. Sims and Planningtorock, The Knife scored the soundtrack to an opera on TheOriginofSpecies. Melancholy by way of tender percussion and chilling vocal performance.

8. “The Same Old Rock” – Roy Harper (12:25)

Tasked with the responsibility of teaching holy folk music to a generation of sneering rock kids, Roy Harper pours his heart, soul, and larynx into an acoustic whirlpool of feels without stopping to take a breath. The four-track Stormcock is a one-man freak out. FYI: Our hats are still off. Come in here, dear boy, have a cigar.

7. “Snorry Mouth” – Mercury Rev (10:55)

Mercury Rev were the weirdest fucking kids at the party, even after they graduated. Psychedelia with a patently ’90s nihilist bend, Mercury Rev couldn’t sit still at any point during their good years. With a just little computer duster, “Snorry Mouth” really starts to take shape as a stand-in for love. Wait. FYI: This house sleeps more than you.

6. “Carry On [live]” – Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young (14:19)

Neil Young tried to soothe their wayward souls, but they could. Not. Stop. Rocking. Harmonies. Harmonies abound! And shredding. Lots of shredding—the musical portion of the ’60s’ excuse for all the infidelity, carelessness and promises unfulfilled. “Well hello, 1970! Do come in. But please don’t be the grounding reality to harsh our collective mellow.”

5. “Marquee Moon” – Television (10:47)

Television was post-punk before punk was punk. Undoubtedly the pinnacle of first generation punk suites, Television’s Marquee Moon, was a kiss of death to prog rockers everywhere. It’s complexity with a leather jacket and a cigarette. Too cool for the ’70s and every decade since. FYI: Richard Hell had to leave the band ‘cause he couldn’t handle this song.

4. “The Musical Box” – Genesis (10:29)

Arguably the embodiment of all that is lambasted in prog rock, Genesis’ heavy metal nursery rhyme is nothing short of compositional and technical prodigy. Even within the pantheon of long-form prog epics, “The Musical Box” stands out, and it gave special purpose to Peter Gabriel multiple personality disorder. FYI: I can feel it coming in the air tonight...

3. “Write Once, Run Melos” – Kashiwa Daisuke (25:57)

Let me put it this way: Do you hope survive in the coming decades of robotic dominion? I sure as hell do. And I’m not going to just wait it out some snowy cave at Japan’s highest altitudes. I’m strapping myself to Kashiwa’s goddamn back so we can smash the circuit board skulls of those computerized FREAKS. This glitchy-ass time-traveller is going to save us all.

2. “To See More Light” – Colin Stetson (15:08)

Colin Stetson is a god among men. With a single sexy saxophone of flesh and brass, Stetson makes some of the heaviest motherfucking music on God’s green earth. Though the horn-blaster transcends real classification, he can be said to boil a kind of jazz-metal-avant-minimalist stew that engulfs all it touches. FYI: One time I touched Colin

1. “Pigs (Three Different Ones)” – Pink Floyd (11:30)

I must praise my predecessor, scholar Samuel Watson, for his inclusion of punkgressive vaporwave group “Pnik Foyld” in his neoconservative essay on long songs. Their popular “pop song,” “Pigs,” serves as a paradigmatic example of what we consider psycho-delic rock ‘n’ roll music. Take it all in, man. Listen. It’s the universe, breathing.