BRIDAL GUIDE Special supplement to The Valley News & Herald-Journal Copyright 2015
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January 2015
BRIDAL
GUIDE
FEATURED ARTICLES 3. Cake-cutting etiquette and guidelines
4. How to preserve wedding bouquets and arrangements 5. Wedding invitation tip sheet 6. How to find the right wedding photographer
617 W. Sheridan Ave Shenandoah, IA 51601 712.246.3097 www.valleynewstoday.com PUBLISHER Kate Thompson
8 & 9. Wedding planning 101 from recent brides, Sparks and Howard
10. Creative ways to make a memorable wedding entrance 11. How to decide beween a band and a Deejay 12. Be smart about wedding beauty preparation 13. How to handle guests that don’t RSVP 15. The guide to choosing groomsmen
EDITORIAL STAFF Tess Gruber Nelson - Managing Editor Nick Johansen - Staff Writer Jason Glenn - Sports Editor GRAPHICS DEPT Heidi Woods - Lead Graphic/Ad DesignerProduction Manager Tori Hopp - Graphic/Ad Designer ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Jon Denton Erica Matya Kathy Harvey
FEATURED BUSINESSES PAGE 3
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nEileen’s Cake nElks Lodge nPudgy Pumpkin Patch Gift Shop
nHoward Clothing & Sporting Goods nShenandoah American Legion Country Club
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nDesign Originals nWeil’s
nMicky G’s nCrevistons Jewelry
www.clarindaherald.com
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PUBLISHER John VanNostrand - Publisher
nMontgomery County Ag Society
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nDing’s Honk ‘n Holler nFamily 1st Dental
EDITORIAL STAFF Kent Dinnebier - Editor GRAPHICS DEPT Laurie Urich - Graphic/Ad Designer ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Heidi Moyer Jennifer Miller
nPaper Trail nShenandoah Floral nShenandoah Inn & Suites nWatkins True Value
PAGE 15 nKatie’s Flowers & Greenhouse
If you would like to be featured or place an ad in an upcoming issue of our Bridal Guide please contact us. 712-246-3097 (or) 712-542-2181 © 2015 The Valley News & Herald-Journal
2 - Bridal Guide
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AND GUIDELINES The presentation of the wedding cake marks the culmination of the day’s festivities and a final symbol of a happy couple’s new partnership. Many people eagerly await the cake as much as they may anticipate catching a glimpse of the bride in her beautiful gown. While the cake in all its finery can be a beautiful sight to behold, a cake can only last so long before its fate as a delicious dessert is sealed. As is the case with many wedding traditions, there is some established etiquette with regard to cutting and serving wedding cake. If you plan on putting your cake on display, be sure it is made with a frosting and filling that can endure room temperature. Certain creams may sour if not refrigerated, and you do not want anyone becoming ill. If you have your heart set on perishable fillings, keep the cake refrigerated and then have the big reveal right before it is cut. The cake cutting usually comes near the end of the wedding reception. Schedule the cutting so that older guests or young children can leave without feeling as if they would be offending anyone. The emcee of the evening typically announces the cake cutting, and the band may play a quirky tune or revisit the wedding song while the first slice is being cut. A bride should hold the cake knife with her right hand, while the groom places his right hand over hers before they proceed to slice down together. If the cake has a foam or cardboard support, be careful not to cut through it. Use a cake server to grab the first piece.
Traditionally the newly betrothed will feed each other a bite of the cake to symbolize their first meal as a couple. Couples can feed each other a small amount, taking care not to spill any. Many couples no longer embrace the once-popular tradition of smashing cake in each other’s faces, but whether or not couples follow this tradition is up to them. Some couples like to serve their parents a piece of cake. Traditionally the bride should serve the groom’s parents and the groom the bride’s parents. If there is a groom’s cake, guests may prefer a slice of both cakes. Guests may also want to take home a slice of the groom’s cake. Tradition states that a piece of the groom’s cake should be presented to an unmarried woman attending the wedding. The woman is not expected to eat the cake, but rather to put it under her pillow. Superstition held that this tradition would help an unmarried woman find a husband. Make arrangements for proper packaging of the groom’s cake, so guests can take home a slice if they so desire. The waitstaff typically handles the slicing of the cake. The uppermost tier is reserved for the couple to save, and the remainder of the cake will be served. Recognize that not all guests like cake, but it’s better to err on the side of caution and have a cake that will feed all of the guests. You also may want to offer a dessert bar for guests who prefer another type of sweet treat. However, this is a luxury, not a necessity. Bridal Guide - 3
Photo provided
Stephanie Howard tosses the bouquet at her wedding reception.
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How to preserve wedding bouquets and arrangements
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A bride’s gown may garner its share of attention come her wedding day, but floral arrangements also tend to impress guests. Fresh flowers make a wedding and the ensuing reception more inviting and appealing. According to The Knot.com, couples can expect to spend 8 percent of their wedding budget on flowers. For the average wedding, that equates to roughly $2,000 for various arrangements and bouquets. That can be a considerable expense for fragile flowers with a shelf life of only a day or two. But instead of tossing beautiful bouquets and other flowers into the garbage once the wedding day has come and gone, couples can employ various methods to preserve those impressive displays for years to come. Air drying One of the easiest ways to preserve flowers is to dry them out. This is best done by hanging blooms upside down so they will remain straight and not warp or wither while drying. Secure flowers in small bundles and hang from an out-of-the-way spot in a cool, dry area. The flowers may need to remain hanging for up to three weeks before they are completely dried out. After which, gently remove the flowers and arrange them in a vase or another container. Oth see BOUQUETS, Page 5 The Valley News (1/28/15) | Clarinda Herald-Journal (1/29/15)
BOUQUETS
Continued from page 4
erwise, reassemble a bouquet how it was and carefully display. Pressing Pressing is another way to preserve floral bouquets and arrangements. To press flowers, find a few heavy books to stack or another weighted object. Place the flowers between parchment paper or waxed paper and lay the heavy items on top. You also can place the flowers in tissue paper between the pages of a book so they are not jostled. Leave the blooms for a week or two and then check on them before putting them in a shadow box or photo frame. Chemical drying Silica gel, borax and regular sand can be used to dry and preserve flowers as well. These can be handy for people who desire to preserve an entire bouquet as-is. Silica gel is a desiccant commonly found in small packets inside of new shoes and purses. It also can be purchased at home improvement retailers and is used to dry out musty basements and other areas. Fill a deep container halfway with the silica gel or other drying material. Put in the bouquet and then gently add more product to the top of the flowers so they are completely submerged. Place a snug cover over the top of the container and let everything sit for about a week. Slowly the moisture will be absorbed from the flowers. Some people choose to spray dried flowers with a sealant to keep them looking nice longer. An all-purpose craft spray might work. You also can ask for recommendations from the florist who handled your arrangements, and that florist may even preserve the flowers for you for an additional fee. Editorial from www.metrocreativeconnection.com
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TIP SHEET Wedding invitations often provide guests with a first glimpse of a wedding’s style. Invitations also may serve as the means by which distant friends and relatives find out about a couple’s pending nuptials if a formal announcement was not made. Amid the flourishes of calligraphy and impressive paper stock is information that speaks to the importance of the day when two people will be joining their lives together. Guests will learn not only the time and the place of the wedding from the invitation, but also the formality of the event and the scope of the party that will follow. Couples should keep certain things in mind as they begin to design their wedding invitations. n Have a good idea of your potential guest list. Before shopping for wedding invitations, it is key to have a strong idea of just how big the wedding will be and how many guests will be invited. This way you will know how many invitations you will need. Invitations vary in price, so cost may be a consideration if your guest list is extensive. n Decide on the formality of the wedding. Will you be hosting a black tie affair, or will it be a casual gathering at the shore? Guests infer many things about the wedding from the invitations, which should match the formality of the event in style and the sentiments expressed. An ornate invitation written with classic wording suggests a more formal affair, while a whimsical invitation with less formal wording could indicate a more laid-back event. n Dare to be different by playing with invitation sizes and shapes. Rectangular cards are standard for wedding invitations, but you can explore your creativity by choosing more modern, artsy invitations. Circular invites or scalloped edges can add some whimsy to the wedding mood. Invitations that fold out or are embellished with ribbon or other decorations can be appealing. Just keep in mind that cards that are not the standard shape and size could be more costly to send. Always have the entire wedding invitation weighed and priced see INVITATIONS, Page 6 Bridal Guide - 5
INVITATIONS
Continued from page 5
Bird Studio
Gabrielle and Kyle Sparks planned their August wedding together.
How to find the right wedding photographer Long after the final toast has been made or the last couple has left the dance floor, wedding photos will help couples relive the wonderful memories of their ceremonies and receptions. Wedding photographers realize the important role photography plays in a wedding. Photos are how couples document their nuptials, and the right photographer can make all the difference. The following tips can help guarantee a successful wedding shoot and beautiful photos to recall the best moments of the day. n Seek referrals. There are scores of wedding photographers, and some are better than others. Word of mouth from other couples can help. Referrals can offer insight into a photographer’s personality and his or her abilities to work with the wedding party and guests throughout the day. n Communication is key. An important component of wedding photography actually starts well before the wedding day. The way a photographer communicates with you about your wishes and desired shots is very important, as this is when to discuss specific shots you want taken during the ceremony, such as whether the bride wants to be seen and pose with the groom prior to tying the knot. In addition, this is a great time for the pho6 - Bridal Guide
tographer to get familiar with each venue’s rules regarding vendors. n Choose a photographer who is confident and firm. A good photographer will be able to direct photo subjects and get everyone to participate and in line. Brides and grooms likely won’t want to handle such tasks on their own, so a confident and firm yet cordial photographer can be an invaluable asset. n Prepare a shoot list. Meet with the photographer before the wedding and provide a list of all the shots you absolutely need to get. This way the photographer can plan for these as well as capture the candid moments throughout the day. n Discuss a backup plan with the photographer. Mishaps happen, even on the most carefully planned wedding day. Discuss what the photographer does to safeguard your digital photo files. Are they backed-up to a cloud or a secured offsite server? Does the photographer bring along a second camera in case the primary one has a malfunction? What happens if he or she is ill on the day of the wedding? How is a replacement chosen? Understanding how the photographer adapts see PHOTOGRAPHER, Page 7
at the post office so you will know what the postage will cost. n Choose a legible font and text color. Your invitation may look beautiful, but it may prove ineffective if it is difficult to read. Do not risk guests misinterpreting the date or the location because they cannot read the writing on the invitation. Steer clear of pastel or yellow text colors, and remember to have a high contrast between the color of the invitation and the text you are using for easy reading. n Keep the invitation simple. It may be tempting to load the invitation with lots of information, but all you really need are the key pieces of information, such as the “who,” “what,” “where,” and “when.” Crowding the card will take away from its aesthetic appeal. Most stationers will suggest a separate, smaller insert in the wedding invitation for the reception information and response card. Never put information such as where you are registered or “no kids allowed.” This is material better reserved for word of mouth or on a wedding Web site. n Do some math. It is important to know your dates so you can receive the invitations on time, mail them out, and give guests enough time to respond. A good rule of thumb is to mail out the invitations at least two months before the wedding. Have an RSVP date of no more than three to four weeks before the wedding, giving ample time to the caterers and accommodating anyone who procrastinates in sending in a response. You will need the final headcount in order to confirm seating arrangements and plan for centerpieces and favors. n Handwrite the envelopes. Your invitation will look more impressive if you address them by hand, rather than printing them off of a computer. If your handwriting is not very neat, consider hiring a professional calligrapher to write out your envelopes. n Make it easy for guests to respond. Be sure to place a stamp on the response card envelope and have that envelope already addressed with your home address so that guests will have no excuses not to mail a response back promptly. n Always order extra. Mistakes happen, and you may need to send out a few extra invitations that you hadn’t originally counted. Always order extra invitations just to be on the safe side. And don’t forget you will probably want to keep one as a keepsake for yourself. Editorial from www.metrocreativeconnection.com
The Valley News (1/28/15) | Clarinda Herald-Journal (1/29/15)
PHOTOGRAPHER Continued from page 6
to unforseen situations can make you feel more confident in choosing one photographer instead of another. The camera gear should also have adequate memory to store all of the photos, and a few backup batteries can’t hurt, either. n Consider hiring a photographer’s assistant or second shooter. The photographer is less likely to miss a shot or fail to capture various perspectives of the wedding if he or she works with a partner. While one photographer is doing close-up portraits, the other may be capturing candid moments from onlookers from another angle. n Know what each package includes. The photographer should clearly spell out which items and services are included as part of the contract. There should be no surprises when it’s time to pay the balance of the photographer’s fees, so go over each itemized detail to be sure the package in your contract is the one you really want. n Get to know the photographer as a person. It can be dif-
Bird Studio
Members of the Sparks wedding party pose for a photo before the reception.
ficult to loosen up in front of the lens, particularly if you do not have a good rapport with the photographer. Do not judge the pho-
or her in the months leading up to your wedding. Editorial from www.metrocreativeconnection.com
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Bridal Guide - 7
Doug Tuck Photography
Madison Tillman, Jordan Schubert, and Maid of Honor Jayda Kelso, Bride Gabrielle Sparks, Groom Kyle Sparks, Best Man Josh Gray, and Quentin Bangston, Flower Girls - Jaylan Gray and Audrey Kusic, Ring Security - Dylan Gray.
Wedding planning 101 from Sparks and Howard By TESS GRUBER NELSON Staff Writer
A
ctress Jayne Seymore once said, “I think a lot of people get so obsessed with the wedding and the expense of the wedding that they miss out on what the real purpose is. It’s not about a production number, it’s about a meaningful moment between two people that’s witnessed by people that they actually really know and care about.” Two local ladies who were married in 2014 agree with Seymour’s statement. Gabrielle and Kyle Sparks were married on Saturday, Sept. 27 at the Faith Covenant Church in Essex. Stephanie and Derek Howard were married Aug. 23, 2014 at the First United Methodist Church in Shenandoah. Gabrielle, who planned her own wedding, said she had a lot of help from family and friends. “I picked out most of my decor and flowers and worked with family to make my vision come true. Brenda Esaias helped tremendously with decorating and keeping me sane during this process,” Gabrielle said. “I 8 - Bridal Guide
picked out all the music I wanted to play, what the order of events would be for the ceremony and all the activities, food, drink for the reception. I even picked out the dresses and attire of most of the wedding party, including the boys.” Gabrielle additionally created her wedding ceremony invitation, reception invitations, ceremony programs, and thank-you cards. “I tried to make them more personal by adding photos and fun facts while still including the necessary information. I had more fun creating and printing those than I did most of the other planning,” she said. A few things Gabrielle learned about wedding planning was that if things go wrong or if things don’t end up the way you envisioned, don’t sweat it. “No one else will know but you, so don’t freak out,” Gabrielle said. Another tip from Gabrielle is that cheaper is not always better. “I found some really cheap decor and used Pinterest to help me create my decorations. However, some of the cheaper made materials weren’t able to uphold their duties so we used the more expensive products.” see SPARKS/HOWARD, Page 9 The Valley News (1/28/15) | Clarinda Herald-Journal (1/29/15)
SPARKS/HOWARD Continued from page 8
Photo provided
Stephanie and Derek Howard were married in August 2014 in Shenandoah. The Valley News (1/28/15) | Clarinda Herald-Journal (1/29/15)
While planning her wedding, Gabrielle also learned to try not to buy expensive little items. “The expensive things you want are the big items like the dress, or even the tuxes. Try not to spend all your time and energy on flowers or table decor because only some people will notice. Everyone else is focusing on you and your fiancée and taking in all the happiness.” Lastly, she learned that although planning a wedding with your fiance might be trying at times, it’s worth it. “After it’s all done and over with you have so many memories and stories to tell about that time. Something you are going to cherish.” Other tips from Gabrielle include: Finding exactly what you want isn’t that hard in this world full of technology. Check out swap shops on Facebook and eBay/Amazon before you go and buy the full priced new item. Many people are selling things or even offering them out for “borrow-use”. Keep your “bridezilla-ness” to a minimum, your friends and family are there to help you and make your day wonderful. “I had the best support system of family and friends during this time, and when I started to panic they knew exactly how to calm me down.” Find a videographer - this video is something that you can watch for the rest of your life to remember every moment of the wedding. You’ll remember most of it, but you will pick up on small details that are so special. Don’t forget about the photographer, make sure that you get all the photos that you want taken, it’s your day - get what you want to remember, even the non-posed photos. Include your significant other in the planning process. “They may not like it at first or even act like they care but they will come through for you in the end. My husband was very hands-on during this process so I didn’t really have any hardships there but the day of the wedding my wedding party presented me with a “Letters to the Bride” book that my husband had created. It took everything I had not to cry my eyes out while getting ready. My entire wedding party took time to write me letters about our times together, and that meant so much.” Gabrielle said she couldn’t have asked for a better, more beautiful wedding day. Not only did she marry her best friend, but they were both surrounded by friends and family. “I’ll share some advice that I received during this time: ‘My greatest wish for the two of you is that through the years your love for each other will so deepen and grow, that years from now you will look back on this day, your wedding day, as the day you loved each other the least,” Gabrielle said. “Be happy, this day only comes once... Make it a day to remember.” Stephanie, who also planned her own wedding, added to start planning early so you’ll have less to worry about as the day gets closer. She added to have back-ups in mind in case your first choice isn’t available. “I learned when planning my wedding to keep an open mind. If you’re closed-minded, you might miss out on something better than your own idea,” Stephanie said. Additional advice from Stephanie is to have a budget in mind and stick to it. It’s not about the money spent, but the union of two people in love,” she said. “We had the most beautiful wedding day and I married my best friend, that’s all that mattered to me.” Bridal Guide - 9
Creative ways to make a memorable wedding entrance
Photo provided
Once wedding vows and rings have been exchanged, many couples join their friends and family to celebrate with a wedding reception. Many brides and grooms eagerly await the moment when they can make their grand entrance to the reception, and over the years it has become customary for couples to make a bit of a splash when making their first appearance as husband and wife. Some enter with a special song. Others prefer something a bit more theatrical. Explore these ideas for memorable wedding reception entrances. n Catch guests by surprise. Wedding guests will probably expect the wedding party to enter through a certain door and the bride and groom to follow afterward. An element of surprise, such as the couple rising from the floor or appearing from a different area in the reception hall, may not require a lot of planning but can have a dramatic effect. Unpredictable entrances also include unexpected song choices or dramatic lighting to immediately draw everyone’s attention. n Stick to one or two songs. Some couples think it might be fun to have each member of
Derek and Stephanie Howard certainly made an entrance at their 2014 wedding reception.
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ENTRANCE
Continued from page 10
the wedding party enter with a different song. Not only will this take a lot of coordination on the part of the deejay, but it can make the entrance choppy as well. Introductions may go more smoothly if couples have the entire wedding party enter to a particular song that revs up the crowd and gets them excited for the grand entrance. At the height of the song, the bride and groom will enter. The entrance typically segues into a couple’s first dance. n Go with people’s strengths. A couple may want to showcase special skills as they enter the reception hall. There’s no limit to what couples can do, from acrobatic techniques to tap dancing to juggling. If it’s entertaining, it very well may prove memorable. n Make sure everyone is on board. Couples should recognize that some members of the wedding party may be uncomfortable acting like clowns in front of a crowd. Do not force anyone to participate in crazy antics if they do not want to. Find things each member of a wedding party feels comfortable doing. Couples may want their bridal party members to enter in a more traditional way before the newlyweds do something more dramatic and humorous. n Include the entrance in your planning. If you want to follow a certain theme, such as “Star Wars” or “Mission Impossible,” coordinate in advance with a deejay or band members. Talk about what, if any, props you plan to use and the type of music that will be playing. If entrances involve choreography, be certain to practice in advance of the wedding so everything will work out well and look professional. However, even stunts that go awry can be entertaining and funny for guests. n Low-key entrances are acceptable, too. Couples who aren’t into much fanfare should not feel pressured to make an entrance with a dance routine or to have any stunning visual effects. If you want a low-key introduction, arrange for such an entrance with the emcee. Editorial from www.metrocreativeconnection.com
How to decide between
a band or a deejay Few things set the tone for a wedding ceremony and reception better than music. Music establishes ambience and serves to transition guests through the various components of the day. Music is played in various ways throughout a wedding. For example, the wedding ceremony may be accompanied by a pianist or violinist, while music during the reception is usually provided by a band or deejay. The decision of whether to hire a band or deejay often comes down to personal preference and budget. The following are some things couples should consider as they make their decision to go with a band or deejay.
Band
Live musicians spend years honing their crafts, and watching a band play at a wedding reception can be akin to attending a concert. A live band can bring with it a sense of sophistication. Performers can tone the music to the crowd and improvise if necessary to meet the needs of the room. A good bandleader also will serve as a master of ceremonies at the reception. Many wedding bands can competently play songs from various genres of music, while some are especially skilled at recreating the sound of a particular group. Bands tend to be more expensive than deejays, and that’s something couples must factor into their budgets if they prefer a band to a deejay.
Deejay
The deejay is one of the first vendors people think
The Valley News (1/28/15) | Clarinda Herald-Journal (1/29/15)
of when they envision a wedding reception. Perhaps because they are less expensive, deejays tend to be more popular than bands among today’s couples. Deejays are advantageous for various reasons. Thanks to the accessibility of digital music, deejays can often procure just about any song a couple desires for the reception. That’s a significant benefit for couples who want to hear the original versions of their favorite songs, and not a band’s take on those songs. Deejays also can read the crowd and make adjustments to the music at any time. If a particular genre is not working, deejays can easily transition to another type of music to get guests back on their feet. That’s not always possible for bands whose repertoire is exclusive to a particular genre. Many deejays also blend songs seamlessly and may incorporate lights and other effects into their performances, which can encourage guests to loosen up and hit the dance floor. Deejays also tend to travel with less equipment than bands, so they will take up less space in a party room. No matter which road a couple chooses to travel, it’s a good idea to listen to a deejay or band perform in a live situation before making a final decision. Couples also should confirm that the performers they meet or audition will be the ones who will perform at their weddings. Make sure this is written into your contract. Couples should provide a list of songs they want to hear well in advance of their wedding day. This affords a deejay ample time to find each song or bands to learn the songs before the big day arrives. Editorial from www.metrocreativeconnection.com Bridal Guide - 11
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12 - Bridal Guide
All eyes are on the bride and groom on their wedding day. Feeling beautiful and dapper can boost a couple’s confidence and ensure they look back on their wedding photographs and videos with pride. Certain beauty basics and makeup and hair strategies can help any bride look spectacular on her wedding day. The following are some dos and don’ts of wedding day beauty preparations. DO employ the services of a professional hairstylist and makeup artist. Professionals have the experience and tools of the trade to help you to look your best. From contouring to make your face seem slimmer to enlarging the appearance of small eyes, some tricks of the trade are best left to the pros. DON’T forget to schedule a trial run. Make this appointment several months before the wedding day so you have ample time to work with your stylists and experiment with colors and hair arrangements to fit your personality and the style of your gown. Take plenty of pictures and notes so you will remember what needs to be on hand for the wedding day. DO allot enough time for the wedding day beauty appointment. If you will be going to a salon, block out two or more slots instead of one. This way the stylist does not overbook and will not feel rushed. Many brides opt to have stylists come to their homes. There may be an extra charge for this service, but it may be well worth the cost. DON’T make any drastic changes to your appearance right before the wedding. This includes changing your hair color or texture, extreme tanning, using colored contact lenses, or chopping off all of your hair. It’s better to wait until after the wedding to change your style. DO bring a veil, headpiece, hair extensions, and any other accessories to your hair consult. This enables the stylist to practice working with these items. DON’T tweeze or wax brows too close to the start of the ceremony. Redness and swelling are common side effects of tweezing and waxing, and they can be difficult to mask with makeup. Instead, take care of hair removal a day or two prior to the wedding. DO exfoliate your skin prior to the wedding. This doesn’t necessarily mean you should endure a harsh fruit acid peel or another procedure. You can exfoliate with a gentle washing of your skin with a nubby wash see BEAUTY, Page 13 The Valley News (1/28/15) | Clarinda Herald-Journal (1/29/15)
BEAUTY
Continued from page 12
cloth to remove any dryness and errant flakes. Moisturize well to ensure a smooth palette for makeup application. DON’T wash or condition hair the day of the wedding. Intricate styles tend to stay better when hair has a little grip. “Dirty” hair is easier to work with than shiny, freshly washed locks. If you must wash, remember to thoroughly dry your hair before going to your appointment. DO wear a little extra makeup than you are accustomed to wearing because it will show up better in photos. However, do not wear so much that you look clownish. A makeup artist can help you achieve the right balance. DON’T have bridesmaids wear makeup that is bolder than yours, especially red lips. No one should upstage the bride. DO experiment with any products you haven’t used before to test for allergic reactions and see how well they wear. DON’T wear too much under-eye concealer or one that is too light of a shade. This can draw more attention to problem areas than remedy them. DO bring a pain relief medication in case a tight hairstyle or headpiece causes a headache. DON’T forget that men need a little help as well. Exfoliation and moisturization can help dry skin. Guys should use a new razor and plenty of cream before shaving to avoid irritation. A dusting of finishing powder can banish shiny noses and foreheads for photo-ready faces. Chances are more photographs will be taken of a newlywed couple than at any other moment in their lives. Certain beauty dos and don’ts should be followed so couples put their best faces forward. Editorial from www.metrocreativeconnection.com
How to handle guests who don’t RSVP Wedding invitations are often a great source of information for guests. While wedding websites also provide a great opportunity for couples to get the word out about their weddings and share pertinent details like the date and location of the wedding, many people are still unfamiliar with the concept of a wedding website, and therefore they rely on invitations as their primary source of information about a wedding. One of the most important bits of information couples must include on their wedding invitations is the RSVP date. The RSVP, which stands for “repondez s’il vous plait,” is a couple’s request for a response to their invitation. The RSVP is typically a specific date by which guests must let the couple tying the knot know whether or not they plan to attend the wedding. There are no rules that govern how far in advance of the wedding couples should ask their guests to RSVP, but some venues might want a final headcount or at least a close estimate of the
final countdown three to four weeks before the big day. As a result, it’s best to ask guests to RSVP at least three weeks before the wedding and preferably four to five weeks before the festivities commence. If invitations are mailed two to three months prior to the wedding, that gives guests ample time to determine whether they can or cannot join in the celebration. While many guests will respond immediately or in plenty of time for couples to arrange seating and notify their reception venue, nearly every bride and groom has been forced to deal with guests who simply failed to respond to their invitations, a potentially precarious position for couples to find themselves in as their wedding day quickly approaches. When guests fail to respond on time, couples should maintain their composure and not take it as a sign of disrespect or indifference. Guests might not be planning a wedding, but chances are see RSVP, Page 14
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RSVP
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they’re busy, too, and their failure to respond is likely just a mistake. Before contacting those who failed to provide a timely response, wait a few extra days so responses that were mailed at the last minute can be counted among those that were received on time. Once the deadline and subsequent extension has passed, couples can begin to contact those guests who have not responded to their invitations. If it’s a close friend or family member who hasn’t responded, simply call them on the telephone and politely ask if they plan on coming to the wedding. They won’t need to mail the RSVP at this point, so just jot down their response and thank them before moving on to the next person. When a person who hasn’t responded is less familiar to the bride and groom, such as a parent’s distant cousin or professional colleague, then it’s perfectly reasonable to ask for help. For example, if a parent’s neighbor has yet to reply, ask Mom or Dad to drop by their house or call them on the
14 - Bridal Guide
phone to determine if they plan to attend. The majority of invitees, if not all of them, who fail to respond on time will understand when contacted directly and asked if they
plan to attend, so couples need not be nervous or confrontational when making phone calls or writing emails. Keep things short and sweet and let guests know their attendance is appreciated or their
absence will be felt if they cannot make it. Editorial from www.metrocreativeconnection.com
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The guide to choosing the right groomsmen
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n Don’t forget your fiance’s family. While you should not feel pressured to pick anyone in particular as your best man, if your fiance has any brothers, ask her if she had her heart set on including any of them in the bridal party. Some brides want their brothers to be groomsmen, so discuss this with your fiance before asking anyone to line up beside you. This discussion can go both ways as well, as you can ask your bride-to-be to include a favorite sister in her bridal party if you so desire. n Confirm their availability. When asking friends or family members to be groomsmen, it’s best to ensure they can actually make it to the ceremony. This is a concern for grooms who are planning a destination wedding or those getting married in their fiance’s hometown and not their own, as some guests, including poten-
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Grooms-to-be face many decisions regarding their pending nuptials, but few may prove as delicate as choosing the groomsmen for the big day. Friends who expect to be groomsmen may be disappointed if they are not ultimately chosen, while brothers may feel left out if they are not asked to walk a bridesmaid up the aisle. Choosing groomsmen should not be taken lightly. Grooms-to-be who are facing some difficult choices with regard to that decision can follow a few pointers to ensure they make the right call. n Pick a number. Before you even consider who you want your groomsmen to be, speak to your fiance about how many bridesmaids she hopes to have. The number of groomsmen and bridesmaids typically matches, so your fiance’s intentions may make your decision a lot easier. For example, if you have two brothers and several friends you’re considering, but your fiance only intends to have a maid of honor and one bridesmaid, then you can just ask both of your brothers to serve as groomsmen. Friends are unlikely be offended if family members get the nod ahead of them, so discuss numbers with your fiance before you begin trimming your list of candidates. If you already have an idea of who you want to be your groomsmen but your choices outnumber your fiance’s, see if she has anyone else she can add to her party so no one is left out. n Choose the best man for the job. Many grooms pick a brother to serve as their best man, and while that’s a nice sentiment, it’s important that grooms recognize that being a best man carries with it some responsibility. A best man will organize the bachelor party, give a toast at the wedding and handle any postwedding duties, such as returning the tuxes or arranging for the newlyweds’ transportation to the airport. If your brother is already incredibly busy or if you doubt he is up to the task of being a best man, then you might be better off asking him to be a groomsman and finding another best man who’s more capable of juggling the numerous responsibilities that come with being best man.
tial groomsmen, may not be able to afford to attend an overseas or faraway ceremony. When asking, explain the situation to them, and let them know you fully understand if they cannot commit to being a groomsmen due to travel or financial concerns. Confirm their availability as soon as possible, as you don’t want to be down one groomsman come your big day. For those who you want to be a groomsmen but are unable to make it, it can be a nice gesture to buy them a groomsmen gift as a token of your appreciation for their friendship. Many grooms face difficult decisions when choosing their groomsmen. But there are ways to make such decisions a lot easier than they may seem. Editorial from www.metrocreativeconnection.com
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Bridal Guide - 15
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16 - Bridal Guide
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