External Briefs Learning Journal by Beatrice Mossman
We e k T w o This first week of my final year was a real challenge. I was very anxious and distracted by a family/personal problem at the time. And due to that I couldn’t focus on the editorial project very well, I did the first part of it, and attended my tutorial (which was very difficult as the Wi-Fi kept going in and out); however, I will have to complete the final editorial project illustration at a later date. I was pleased, however, that I had done well on the first part and got good feedback on my four potential designs (notes/ feedback from tutorial are shown opposite). I tried using Procreate/doing the art digitally for this project, as in my research I noticed many artists used this in editorial work, simply because it is faster and also currently very popular. It is a skill I started experimenting with last year, but I wanted to continue working on; therefore, it made sense to use it in this project. You can see the four potential designs on the next double spread.
We e k Three This week I had a tutorial about my summer project. My summer project was very chaotic as I kept changing my ideas. I settled finally on creating a gif inspired by my bedroom which was a space that inspired me greatly over the summer, it became a bit of a ritual looking at my stuff/my room and gaining inspiration in the morning for the rest of the day. I had finished a version of the gif but was given advice to take the text out of the gif and spend more time on the visuals. The text was inspired by text found in silent films. However, although I liked that idea, I agree that it would be better to concentrate on the visuals. Therefore, I added some visuals in and extended some sequences. Scans of my fine liner drawings to make the gif are shown opposite, and on the next double spread.
We e k F o u r This
week
we
handed
in
our
summer
project.
I also started researching what external brief I wanted to choose for the main project of this unit (research page shown opposite). I eventually settled on the Creative Conscience competition brief, choosing to do the open brief, and on the subject of Disenfranchised Grief. I would like to do a series of mini-comics inspired by my personal experience of grieving my father who died before I was born. During research on grief in general, I found out about disenfranchised grief, which is basically grief that is less recognised and respected. As I never knew my father, grieving him was an odd process, that others haven’t really understood. As how can you miss someone you never knew? However, in my experience (and others experience) you definitely can, and it can be extremely impactful for the rest of your life.
We e k F i v e During this week, I had my first tutorial on the Creative Conscience project. I got encouraging feedback from my tutorial, my tutor seemed to think my project idea was a worthwhile venture. Some things to think about from the tutorial were to concentrate on a specific target audience; soon after the tutorial I made the decision to aim the comic at more mature audiences. I feel as though I am more interested in creating work for older teens and adults. After my tutorial, I started my Writing Journal for my Creative Conscience project on Disenfranchised Grief (page from my Writing Journal shown opposite. Here I have started noting down poems and pieces of writing about my grief of my father. I am going to translate this into comics in my sketchbook as a starting point.
I haven’t decided yet whether these pieces of writings will be written in the book as poems, as part of the comics/narration in the comics, or whether I am going to take ideas/ the basic concepts from them and try and illustrate them. Writing these lines down felt cathartic, they are very personal, but I hope they will also say something universal about the experience of disenfranchised grief. I started making illustrations (shown below) based off of work I did in my Writing Journal and my research on the symbolic meaning of funeral flowers (that I did earlier on in the week before my tutorial, page from journal shown opposite). I plan on using this aesthetic of fine liner pens and copic markers/ink for my final comic. I also planned an illustration/comic where I have drawn from photos of my mother, sister and father; and I also drew from a cast of my father’s hand (shown on next double page spread).
We e k S i x This week I looked at the comic-creator Julia Gfrorer’s work (research page example shown opposite). I love the way she panels her work into a strict panelling structure and beautifully detailed illustrations. I think it is one way to not overwhelm the audience when you plan on doing incredibly exhaustive drawings. I know that the way I enjoy to draw is to create very thorough fine liner drawings much like hers, and I think this is a way in which I could make my comics process more manageable and readable to the audience. I then experimented with translating some of my writings and new ideas into comics that follow this art style and rigid grid panel structure (example of one on next double page spread). I really enjoyed making these two comics, I made them quite quickly and instinctually, however, I think they work quite well in their simplicity. The rigid grid structure also helped this quick productivity.
We e k Seven & Eight Unfortunately, I didn’t have a very productive last two weeks. I had to miss my tutorial on the Wednesday due to anxiety about family and personal issues. I still completed my progress review sheet (shown opposite); although, it was unfortunate to miss out on feedback from others. My main self-reflection was that I need to cut down my ideas and begin to edit what I intend to include in the book.
At the moment, the project feels a bit overwhelming, and I want to make sure I focus on the quality of the end project rather than focusing on quantity. I also thought more about how I would want to present this anthology of mini-comics and thought about creating the book in the shape of a coffin, focusing on the subject of grief (sketchbook pages shown on next double page spread). I potentially will create a grave to hold the comic inside, either as a package with the comic or just as a creative way to display the comics at comic fairs/festivals (inspired by Alice Urbino’s creative comic displays, research page shown opposite), which I hope to take this comic book to eventually. After finishing my progress review sheet, I wanted to write down a few thoughts to focus on for this comic anthology. I thought of structuring the comic into three different sections, and each section being named after a memorial flower, tying in my research about grieving symbols and motifs. I also made sure to identify the purpose of the project to myself again, so not to lose sight about the message I want it to have. The main message is about how any type of grief is valid. The project focuses on my personal grieving experience about my father; however, I hope that people can take some universal messages from it.
We e k N i n e I was very productive this week and arranged the comic structure and decided on the rough ideas/ comics that I want in each section; I decided the sections would be forget-menot, lily and hyacinth (in that order, plan shown opposite). I then made the first fully illustrated mock-up for this project (illustrations shown on the next two pages). I decided after my last tutorial before Christmas break, with the advice of my tutor to experiment with a less extreme comic shape, therefore, I chose to make the mock-up book in a rectangular shape. It is still an unusual shape, but the same shape I have used with a previous comic which I self-published using Mixam. Therefore, I know it is possible to print this shape at a reasonable price.
At first, I was very pleased with the mock-up book and shape, but I realised that the coffin shape is very important to me and I believe the project. I love experimenting with strange and unusual book shapes, and as I planned for this comic to be a short self-published run anyway, I believe it is possible to print and cut the shape myself. Moreover, I realised that some comics were more suited to different sections, so although I was happy with the individual comic thumbnails, I will need to do another mock-up book to place each of the comics. Due to the complications of the tracing paper included in the comic, testing the placement of each comic is crucial.
We e k Ten & Tw e l v e During the start of Christmas break, I asked my family to gather together pictures of my dad’s childhood home, specifically, his childhood room (shown opposite). I wanted to add these visuals into one of the comics. I experimented with creating illustrations from the pictures in my sketchbook later on in Christmas break. Here I tried out using copic markers to colour the story, I also tested the use of decorative borders (shown on the next page).
I like the idea of using decoration and decadent illustrations in the comic, as these things have traditionally been used a lot in memorials, as a way of expressing love to the lost one. The idea of decoration and decadence is also why I think the coffin shape is important. I also had a new comic idea that I really liked, and plan to add to the final piece. It is a story about playing dollhouses/happy families, but at the start of the comic the reader doesn’t realise it is dolls but a real happy family, until the end. This conveys an element of sadness about loss of having that happy family experience with both parents being present. I also really got into reading Sigmund Freud’s essay ‘Mourning and Melancholia’, and I thought it was very relevant to my work, it also encouraged me to then research depictions of melancholia in art, whereby I found many had used blue to signify depression/sadness/mourning. Later on, I experimented with different comic shapes, and how I might decorate the borders (these examples were inspired by the idea of different flowers symbolising each chapter). These examples depict the use of the forget-me-not flower (shown opposite).
We e k Thirteen & Fourt e e n
My midway project review went successfully. I got some feedback to look at ‘Agony’ comics by Mark Beyer, as they also use decorative borders in their work (shown opposite - above). I also find inspiration in underground comix like from ‘Wimmen’s comix’ (shown opposite -middle), where a lot of the comics in this genre used decorative borders and also were full of incredibly detailed illustrations. The tutor also seemed to agree that the coffin shape is an important and interesting element of the book. They also liked one double page in my sketchbook where the coffin comic shape looked like a heart, the first mock-up book also had this design (shown opposite - below). I then focused on creating a final script for the comic anthology. The work was mostly done before in previous comics I made in my sketchbook and pieces of writing from my writing journal, but it was essential before moving onto the final piece to have a finalised script. The script I made is unlike a traditional script and its aim is just as something for me to refer to. In the future, I want to learn how to properly structure a comics script in a traditional way, readable to others, I aim to make this a part of my Final Major Project. However, didn’t feel that it was relevant to this project. I then made a very rough mock-up book to place each of the comics. I made it without thumbnails inside (as I had structured/ drawn out a lot of the comics previously) but just to see where each will go and make sure the structure works with the tracing paper (shown on the previous double page spread). As I had previously thumbnailed a lot of the stories I knew roughly how many pages each needed to be, so I was able to structure it in this mockup book; and I now feel ready to soon work on the final piece.
We e k Fifteen This week I had another tutorial, where I was advised to think about limiting the colour in the work. This was in response to the coloured illustrations drawn from pictures of my dad’s bedroom in my sketchbook (opposite). The tutor thought that maybe I should do coloured borders and black-and-white illustrations in the panels, much like I did in one sketchbook page. However, I had had an idea to use blue in my work; inspired by artistic uses of the colour as symbolic of melancholia, grief and sadness, such as, works in Picasso’s ‘blue period’ (shown on next double page spread). So, personally I wasn’t sure about making the work black-and-white, but maybe just limiting the colour palette. This was especially because I had done quite a bit of research on the blue colour idea. However, I do see the potential problem of the detailed drawings with saturated colours being a problem that may overwhelm the reader.
I also showed the new mock-up book, and the tutor wondered whether I could highlight the heart shape I had included in previous coffin book designs, I realised that this was something unfortunately lost in the latest design, so I intend to play around with the design a bit so that the structuring of panels/pages of this mockup book is still relevant, however, the shape is slightly altered. Other than having my tutorial, I had a very unproductive week. I had quite a struggle, I started the week by creating some final character designs and experimenting with a blue colour scheme for the final piece. But I wasn’t sure it was working. Then due to personal/family problems last term, I hadn’t finished the editorial workshop final piece, and decided to catch up on that. This took a lot of my time this week and I began to get very nervous about making the deadline and became very stressed out and overwhelmed so wasted more time. I decided to potentially ask for an extension for this project.
We e k Sixte en This week was also a big struggle. Luckily, I was granted an extension for this project though and had a sign-up tutorial to help me out. I explained my anxiety and stress over the past week and made a bit of an action plan to take forward for the rest of the project. I also explained my stress over the colour scheme, and again my tutor told me to focus on making the illustrations black-and-white. I started off slow this week, as I was still feeling overwhelmed and overdone for the last two weeks of stress. I worked on creating the decorative borders for each flower section for my final piece, starting with the forget-me-not section. I knew that I wanted these borders to have elements of colour in them. Unlike, the panel illustrations. I started creating one with a black background (shown opposite) but didn’t like how the black interacted and washed out the other colours.
We e k S e v enteen This week I decided to do another border illustration for the forget-me-not section. This time, it was all drawn out with a dark blue fine liner (shown opposite). And had elements of colour on top (corresponding to the colour of the flowers they depict). I much preferred this to the use of the black fine liner, which washed the image out. Therefore, I started to take this design into the rest of the decorative border series.
I also used red along the edge of the border illustrations to emphasise the heart shape when opening up the book. Afterwards, I started creating the final comic illustrations in blackand-white (shown opposite and below); however, I became very frustrated as it wasn’t quite working with the blue and other colours. I soon realised that I wanted to make the comic illustrations using the dark blue fine liner too, instead of the black-and-white. This was frustrating as it was another struggle and set back, as I had already done quite a lot of time-consuming work already in the black-and-white. And also, lost time due to my stress and anxiety over the last few weeks. However, I decided to make this final decision as I believe it was what was best for the project.
We e k Eighte e n I had a final review of my work earlier on in the week, I got really good feedback for my work; this was very encouraging as I was quite anxious about my work. I have been starting to feel better this week, and like I know more of what I am doing. So, I have just been gradually getting through the comic illustrations (page of some final illustrations shown opposite), and have near finished two comics out of the overall nine.
We e k Ninet e e n This week I was happy about my progress and did not have many questions/worries to talk about in my tutorial directly related to this project (some final illustrations drawn this week are shown opposite); therefore, I decided to use the tutorial to ask some questions about self-publishing that I was unclear about. I found out more about creep, which will be very useful to know in printing this project as it will be important to keep the red edges of the decorative borders intact.
Evaluation Word Count: 771 For the main part of this unit, I chose to do the ‘Creative Conscience – Open Brief ’. My project title was ‘Disenfranchised Grief ’ and I aimed to make a mini-comic anthology about my personal experiences grieving my father, who died before I was born. The book would be aimed at mature audiences and would work to make feel less alone about their own experiences of disenfranchised grief. The end result was a coffin-shaped book of mini-comics, that were split up into three sections/themes. The themes arose from my research on funeral flowers and their symbology. I decided to do three sections named after different flowers with different meanings. I feel like the end result was very successful, and that I succeed in doing what I aimed to do. I think the book targets a more adult audience. Although the stories in the book are personal, I feel like the questions they ask/feelings they explore are quite universal to those who may be experiencing disenfranchised grief.
For the hand-in, I made a PDF. However, I would eventually like to print the comic as a lot of the book relies on it being a physical object (the transparent layers, the unique shape of the book). I did some research during the end of the project, looking at books I was found of, which was exciting. I also got good advice from tutors about different printing places to look into. The way the book would be opened and read, as a physical object, would be different too (to the PDF version). The physical object would open up into a heart shape (example image I made of the final book shown opposite). Thus, the pages would be at an angle. However, I chose to just straighten and separate the pages for the PDF, as it would be hard to read it the way it would be printed as a physical book, as you could turn the book. So, would have had to read it at an angle – hurting one’s neck! The main thing I learnt over the course of this unit was juggling multiple briefs. I found this very difficult throughout. Especially due to having personal/home problems at the same time – which led to me getting an extension for the project. I started to improve during the end of this project. I began to make some todo lists which made things easier. But it was still a struggle, and something I need to work on more during the final major project. I’ve realised a lot of the time I work hard but not smart. Meaning, I tend to overwork myself a lot and then quickly become overwhelmed. That leads me to have to rest for a few days, and then I get behind again! I find it hard to pace myself. I feel like this was even more of a struggle when juggling the multiple briefs for this unit, and also the dissertation and other units. I also believe I got carried away with some areas of research that I didn’t end up using much. I don’t know if I think this is necessarily a terrible thing.
I really enjoyed the research and learnt a lot – some things I looked at for this project which didn’t end up being that relevant led to me finding things that I would later use for my final major project research. However, I think I need to know when the stop research. And to try and focus on the visual development more. The extension was really hard. I really needed the extra time due to personal problems that had left me behind on work. But it became overwhelming very quickly. I realised how much I relied on seeing tutors/fellow classmates about work and getting advice as things go along. Throughout the project, the tutorials and advice had been so helpful. After the original hand-in, we didn’t have scheduled tutorials/assessments for this project. Because, of course, most people were finished. Extra sign-up tutorials were offered to me from tutors. But at the time I felt too overwhelmed with doing this unit and dissertation that I sadly didn’t take up the offer. In retrospect I feel like this would have helped and reassured me. I think I need to push myself to take these extra sign-up tutorials more. Overall, main things I’ve learnt, and would like to take with me for the final major project is: make a detailed timetable; continuing having a to-do list that I update each week; take advantage of sign-up tutorials when available; try to talk to fellow students about work more; know my limits and pace myself!