FOUR IF BY SEA

Welcome Y’all

By Amanda McDanel

Welcome

Verb: To greet the arrival of (a person, guests, etc.) with pleasure or kindly courtesy. Adjective: Received gladly into one’s presence or companionship. Noun: A kindly greeting or reception, as to one whose arrival gives pleasure.

ACCORDING TO MIRIAM-WEBSTER, the word “welcome” can be defi ned in any of the above ways, but in the South, it has a whole other alternative meaning as well. A welcome in the south is an event. A welcome dinner. A welcome gift. A welcome parade or a motorcycle escort. Hell, we even have fl ags with pineapples on them (a sign of hospitality) to hang welcomingly from our wrap-around porches. It’s a gesture that says, “Hey, y’all! We’re glad you’re here.”

While some other states might say, “Your crazy is showing, you may want to tuck that back in,” here in the South we highly recommend airing your crazy out on the porch in a rocking chair with a glass of sweet tea. And, in my house, the rocking chair is always ready, the tea (or wine) is always cold, and I’ll join you for a spell right after I’ve given you my own personal salutations.

When I used to work for North Carolina State University as an extension agent several years ago, I spent a lot of time traveling to rural counties all over eastern North Carolina. It allowed me to meet some incredible people and introduced me to some excellent regional foods, but because eastern N.C. is so vast and sprawling, it often took me more than three hours to reach a given destination. And, after miles and miles of fi elds and two-lane roads, my Yeti water bottle had the tendency to catch up with me, so – above all – I discovered some lovely establishments with public restrooms on those rural roads. From antique stores to feed-and-seeds, meat processing institutions to fi ve-and-dimes, I was an equal opportunity pee-er.

One such establishment that quickly became my favorite felt completely frozen in time. Their shelves boasted everything from original 1980s Caboodles to vintage Star Wars-branded Underoos still in their 1982 packaging (bought them!) alongside a stark collection of men’s coveralls. To my delight, there was also a section of lady’s unmentionables that was conveniently stocked with a particularly silky – and extremely large – brand of underpants called Dixie Belles.

I hadn’t seen underwear like that since I toddled behind my grandma in her garden, where I could reliably catch a glimpse of oversized brims peeking out from

the waistband of her jeans whenever she bent over to pluck a juicy radish from the soil. I was so tickled with this nostalgia-laced discovery that I bought a pair of the largest size available to bring home – for a reason yet unknown – and tucked them into a drawer with my vintage pillowcases and aprons. You know, #thesoutherndrawer. Later that year, I attended a conference where a co-worker talked about hanging an American fl ag outside her house whenever her daddy was due for a visit in order to welcome him home. Enthralled with the idea, I realized that I fi nally had the perfect answer for my impromptu roadside purchase. With my husband, Johnny, due home from a weeklong work trip that Friday, I immediately went home and scrawled “Welcome home, Johnny” on my pair of Dixie Belle underwear with a large black Sharpie. On the day of his homecoming, I strung that same two-foot-wide pair of skivvies across the front of our house, where it proudly fl apped in the breeze for all our neighbors to see. Needless to say, the hilarity that ensued was legendary. Featuring such repurposed garments has now become my personal way of welcoming any special visitor to my home. With many more trips to “said store” where I was known to frequently buy out most of their inventory, I became equipped with enough pairs to off er a variety of greetings and other gestures of goodwill to my visitors. Happy birthday? It’s covered. You made it? Got it. If you are a very special visitor, I’ll even sacrifi ce a pair and personalize them just for you. “Welcome, Amy and Dave!” has announced my best friends’ arrival for more than fi ve years now, and it may actually be time to add their nine and 11-year-old children. In short, you can consider it my way of “rolling out the Featuring such repurposed red carpet” for my nearest and garments has now become dearest. my personal way of welcoming any special A few years after that initial discovery, I visited one of the East Coast’s largest fl ea markets visitor to my home. with a friend. Among the many treasures I found there, I met a man in a pair of bib overalls selling fi ve-XL underwear made from parachute material adorned with lace. He informed me that his wife custommade them, and that business was very, VERY good indeed. I promptly forked over $20 and happily skipped away with a four-foot-wide pair of purple underwear destined to welcome my next lucky visitors. I had offi cially upped my hospitality game – while simultaneously making a lot of rural N.C. ladies happy that they could once again easily purchase lingerie at their local fi ve-and-dime. I am a good southern girl after all – though it might be time to think about installing a fl agpole.