Northern Express September 26, 2016

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NORTHERN

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Mr. Petoskey Carlin Smith wants to tell you about his favorite town

NORTHERN MICHIGAN’S WEEKLY • SEPT 26 - Oct 2, 2016 Vol. 26 No. 39 Michael Poehlman Photography


A grape place to visit

The 10th Annual Harvest Festivus! Sunday, October 2 at Left Foot Charley

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2 • september 26, 2016 • Northern Express Weekly

R E TA I L E R S , E AT E R I E S A N D W I N E R I E S I N T H E V I L L A G E B50 The Village Store - 231.938.6150 Christmastide - 231.645.6469 Cuppa Joe Cafe - 231.947.7730 Elf - eat·learn·frolic - 231.715.1730 Fridrich Furs - 231.421.1738 Gallery Fifty - 231.932.0775 High Five Threads - 231.384.0408 Higher Grounds Trading Co. - 877.825.2262 Joice Salon - 231.933.9897 Landmark Books - 231.922.7225 Left Foot Charley Winery - 231.995.0500 Notably Natural - 231.929.1100

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their futures, and they are just desperate for change. It doesn’t really even matter where it comes from. They don’t buy everything he says but he seems to hold out some hope that their lives will be different. They won’t wake up and see their jobs disappear, lose a kid to heroine, feel like they’re in a dead-end. Those are people we have to understand and empathize with as well.” She later walked back the use of the word “half.” Clinton is thus obviously correct, and Kachadurian’s rebuttal is only a phony “strawman” argument.

Leonard Page, Cheboygan

CONTENTS features Crime and Rescue Map.......................................7

State of the Odawa.........................................12 Get Literary at the Festival of the Book.............15 Petoskey’s Hidden Sport...................................16 Carlin Smith.....................................................18 Fall Into the Past................................................20 Seen.................................................................22

Turn Off Fox, Kachadurian

I read Thomas Kachadurian’s opinion letter in last week’s issue. It seemed this opinion was the product of someone who offered nothing but what anyone could hear 24/7/365 on Fox News; a one-sided slime job that has been done better by Fox than this writer every day of the year.

letters Welcome To 1984

The Democrat Party, the government education complex, private corporations and foundations, the news media and the allpervasive sports and entertainment industry have incrementally repressed the foundational right of We the People to publicly debate open borders, forced immigration, sanctuary cities and the calamitous destruction of innate gender norms. Until now the oft times vicious assault on public discourse has been limited to highly-organized public shaming strategies to silence and discredit individuals and groups who do not subserviently parrot the socialist and LGBT agenda of the Democrat party. The next phase is the gutting of the First Amendment and criminalizing speech and assembly. Welcome to George Orwell’s 1984 and the grand opening of the Federal Department of Truth!

Steve Redder, Petoskey

Grow Up, Kachadurian

Apparently Tom Kachadurian has great words; too bad they make little sense. His Sept. 19 editorial highlights his prevalent beliefs that only Hillary and the Dems are engaged in namecalling and polarizing actions. Huh? What rock does he live under up on Old Mission? He touches on a number of hot button issues, yet blames only one side of the political aisle for divisiveness and blame. Let’s see. The Christians are being persecuted by the LGBT community even though, according to Kachadurian, “...the whole thing is a media fabrication...We are just happy to be part of the celebration...” Yep, that explains why states are enacting anti-LGBT laws resulting in companies pulling their business & events -- see the NCAA and ACC -- from places like North Carolina. His words are beautiful, especially when he pontificates and lectures us

on name-calling and what he also apparently didn’t learn in the third grade. I guess he forgot about his editorial last month (8/27/16), taking the local “Ruling Class Fixers” to task regarding Prop 3, Cambria Suites, 8th Street, and Peninsula Township among other issues. Evidently he’d rather shop at a big box retailer than support a local business owner. Clearly, you can’t be too careful -- that local business owner trying to make a living might be a part of the “Ruling Class.” Or, perhaps he believes that calling people at various times rapists, crooked, lyin’, little, corrupt, etc. as Trump has over the past year is okay if you have the same beliefs. After all, Trump has great words as well, and they both use them selectively when it suits their personal agenda. Maybe that’s what he learned in the third grade.

According to him, the LGBT community is anti-Christian for protesting a clerk in Kentucky for not following the law. He is right in that this is a “media fabrication.” It’s a Fox fabrication that the clerk isn’t committing fraud by collecting a government paycheck while refusing to do her duties. If this was government employee who failed to do a task Fox wanted done, that person would be vilified every day. Seems like a divisive media fabrication. But according to Kachadurian, it’s only words from Clinton that are divisive. He tries to blame Democrats for the racism in his party. I don’t think that a majority of Republicans are racist, but a significant number supported Trump’s birther lies in the past. Again, this can’t be divisive because it’s from Trump, not Clinton. It’s good that Kachadurian learned something in third grade, but it’s time to learn something new: that the ability to look at both sides is both moral and ethical. That you will know more if you turn off Fox forever. You just won’t have as many women to look at. Try it. Maybe you’ll be like former governor Milliken and former president Bush who are voting for Clinton because she wants to unite, not divide this country.

G Lueck, Traverse City

Craig Rosenberg, Traverse City

Facts Matter

Thomas Kachadurian’s “In the Basket” opinion deliberately chooses to twist what Clinton said. He chooses to argue that her basket lumped all into the clearly despicable categories of the racist, sexist, homophobic , etc. segments of the alt right. Since facts and truth still matter, here is what she actually said: “You know, to just be grossly generalistic, you could put half of Trump’s supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables. Right? The racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic — you name it. And unfortunately there are people like that. And he has lifted them up. He has given voice to their websites that used to only have 11,000 people, now have 11 million. He tweets and retweets offensive, hateful, meanspirited rhetoric. Now some of those folks, they are irredeemable, but thankfully they are not America. ... But that other basket of people who are people who feel that government has let them down, nobody cares about them, nobody worries about what happens to their lives and

Let’s Fix This Political Process

Enough! We have been embroiled in the current election cycle for…well, over a year, or is it almost two? What is the benefit of this insanity? Exorbitant amounts of money are spent, candidates are under the microscope day and night, the media – now in action 24/7 – focuses on anything and everything anyone does, and then analyzes until the next event, and on it goes. It will take a major overhaul of our election process, but there must be someone somewhere who has the courage to undertake the task and begin the process of change. What is the point of the craziness we now observe and in which we feel compelled to participate?

Laurel Mason, Arcadia

Can’t Cut Taxes

We are in a different place today. The slogan, “Making America Great Again” begs the questions, “great for whom?” and “when was it great?” I have claimed my generation has lived in a bubble since WWII, which has offered a prosperity for a majority of the people. The bubble has burst over the last few decades. The jobs which provided a good living for

views Opinion............................................................4 dates..............................................23-26 music Marc Cohn’s Journey.......................................21

FourScore.......................................................28 Nightlife...........................................................29

columns & stuff Top Five...........................................................5

Spectator/Stephen Tuttle...................................6 News of the Weird/Chuck Shepherd....................8 Style.................................................................9 Crossed..........................................................10 Modern Rock/Kristi Kates.................................27 The Reel........................................................30 Advice Goddess..............................................32 Crossword.....................................................33 Freewill Astrology...........................................34 Classifieds......................................................35

Cover Photo by Michael Poehlman Photography Northern Express Weekly is published by Eyes Only Media, LLC. Publisher: Luke Haase 129 E Front Traverse City, MI Phone: (231) 947-8787 Fax: 947-2425 email: info@northernexpress.com www.northernexpress.com Finance & Distribution Manager: Brian Crouch Sales: Kathleen Johnson, Peg Muzzall, Katy McCain, Mike Bright, Michele Young, Randy Sills For ad sales in Petoskey, Harbor Springs, Boyne & Charlevoix, call (231) 439-5943 Creative Director: Kyra Poehlman Distribution: Matt Ritter, Randy Sills, Kathy Twardowski, Austin Lowe Listings Editor: Jamie Kauffold Contributing Editor: Kristi Kates Copy Editors: Linda Wheatley Reporter: Patrick Sullivan Contributors: Amy Alkon, Janice Binkert, Ross Boissoneau, Rob Brezsny, Jennifer Hodges, Candra Kolodziej, Clark Miller, Beth Milligan, Al Parker, Michael Phillips, Chuck Shepherd, Steve Tuttle Photography: Michael Poehlman, Peg Muzzall Copyright 2016, all rights reserved. Distribution: 36,000 copies at 600+ locations weekly. Northern Express Weekly is free of charge, but no person may take more than one copy of each weekly issue without written permission of Northern Express Weekly. Reproduction of all content without permission of the publisher is prohibited.

Northern Express Weekly • september 26, 2016 • 3


continued...

people without a college degree are vanishing. Unions, which looked out for the welfare of employees, have been shrinking. Businesses have sought to produce goods where labor is not expensive. Efforts to raise the minimum wage have been making some limited gains, but many families depend on two or more wages to have “enough.” To save for the future is a luxury for many, and pension plans are being abandoned as too costly. My point? The desire to cut taxes flies in the face of reality. You can fight for a better tax code. You can hold agencies accountable for their spending. But I believe the future calls for greater sacrifice for those of us who “have enough” to provide needed services for those in our counties and our schools and our neighborhoods. Cutting taxes only makes America great for those who have more than enough.

Bob McQuilkin, Frankfort

Wrong About Clinton

In response to Thomas Kachadurian’s column, I have to take issue with many of his points. First, his remarks about Ms. Clinton’s statement regarding Trump supporters was misleading. She was referring to a large segment of his supporters, not all. And the sad fact is that her statement was not a “smug notion.” Rather, it

was the sad truth, as witnessed by the large turnout of new voters in the primaries and the ugly incidents at so many of his rallies. Secondly, Mr. Kachadurian’s statement that the left has chosen to make Christians the enemy is a totally ridiculous assumption. Working for the civil rights of any group of Americans is never an attack on any other group of citizens. Most practicing Christians will attest to this, but of course not the fringe groups of so-called Christians who practice bigotry and exclusion on a regular basis. Finally, he spends quite some time criticizing Clinton for name-calling, but somehow manages to ignore the fact that Mr. Trump has taken name-calling and divisive politics to a whole new, ugly level. He speaks of the merits of citizens helping each other. Tell me, Mr. Kachadurian, what exactly has Trump ever done to help anyone other than himself, while Ms. Clinton has spent a lifetime working to help so many groups of Americans. Ms. Clinton may not be the perfect candidate. She was not my first choice. But she is head and shoulders more qualified to lead our nation rather than a megalomaniacal demagogue, the likes of which we have never had run for this office before.

Robert Hardy, Manistee

Come Try hts ig our soup flled & gril enu sandwich m

opinion

By carlin smith Thursday, August 25 represented a historic night in the community of Petoskey. It was the night that the Public Schools of Petoskey opened the gates of the new Northmen Stadium.

The Little Traverse Bay Bands of Odawa Indians provided funding for new roads that greatly improve access to the school campus. The Kroeger-Mainland Family Fund provided a video scoreboard and other technology features. The Rotary Club of Petoskey started the community support with a fundraising gala and large contributions to the stadium, and the City of Petoskey provided some generous in-kind support and expertise.

It was a warm, pleasant evening and the people started coming…and they kept coming and coming. The crowd grew to around 4,000. The people strolled the new facility and soaked it in. They stood in very long lines for brats and hot dogs and then ate at the new picnic tables placed along the stadium’s promenade. They shook hands with friends and neighbors and smiled broadly as they examined the stadium’s features. Dare I say the community gushed over Petoskey’s newest amenity?

So who benefits? The entire community. Certainly the students, especially those who participate in football, track, cross country, softball, soccer, lacrosse, and the marching band. Moms, dads and other spectators enjoy the extra room with seating for 3,000 and hillside seating for another 1,000, plus additional bathroom stalls. There is a new access road to the school campus and increased parking. There is added safety now that all sports competitions and practices will be held on school grounds. And the community is invited to use the new cross-country trail (with pedestrian-friendly under-the-road tunnels) for hiking, jogging, and cross country skiing. And of course the stadium is another source of pride for Petoskey.

Northmen Stadium has been a long time coming. Petoskey High School football games and track meets had been played at the old Curtis Field since 1927. The aged facility was across town with little parking, dated restroom facilities, and limited seating; it was time for a change. School officials and community leaders came together in 2014 to make that change happen. The Board of Education agreed to place a proposal on the 2014 ballot asking for .5 mills for ten years to fund a $10 million stadium. Volunteers worked on campaigns, and local organizations -- including the Petoskey Regional Chamber of Commerce -- gave their endorsement and helped to campaign on its behalf. The voters said yes (in 2007 they had rejected a similar proposal for a $15 million facility). School officials streamlined the project, and when the groundswell of support started to rise, it was hard for voters to say no a second time, and from what I can see, they are pleased with their decision.

There are a few naysayers. I’ve heard some say such an impressive facility is a waste of taxpayers’ dollars. I’ve also heard there are some concerned about the noise from the stadium or the lights. But the few negatives are far outnumbered by the positives. That opening night on was the grandest community event I’ve attended here in Petoskey (though I like to think our Chamber puts on some great community events). But I’ve never seen such a cross-section of the community come together and feel so good and so proud of what we accomplished.

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this week’s

top five 1 ENROLL NOW FOR IMPROV Are you ready for some improv? It’ll be available soon in Traverse City, whether you want to watch or learn how to actually take part. For the first time, the improv troupe Good On Paper will offer Improv 101 classes for those wishing to learn the comedy art form. The seasoned performers will cover the basics in classes designed to offer a supportive, encouraging environment. Classes begin Oct. 1; for more information, visit the Good On Paper Facebook page. The six-person troupe — members are David Avis, Stephanie Young, Mike Gauthier, Bryan Boettcher, Heather Helsel and Michael Libby — will also premiere its seventh season at ECCO Event Space on Front Street Oct. 8. They will perform completely improvised comedy shows on the second Saturday of each month through spring. The 90-minute shows cost $10 and doors open at 8:30pm.

bottomsup Rare Bird Brewpub’s Do Good Tap

8th Annual Skitoberfest Fun for the whole family at the 8th Annual Skitoberfest at Boyne Mountain, Boyne Falls on Saturday, October 1! Events include guest speaker Nick Goepper, 2014 Olympic bronze medalist & three-time Winter X Games gold medalist; a winter expo, MI beer, wine & spirits tasting, music, dance & theater performances, free chairlift rides, hay rides, a petting zoo, horse & pony rides, the Pond Pedal, Rail Jam, parade & much more. Admission is free. boyne.com

CITY-LEVEL CLIMATE TALK A Michigan mayor who enacted climate change policy that made his town the first in Michigan to set a 100 percent renewable energy goal will speak in Traverse City. Former Grand Rapids Mayor George Heartwell will talk about attending the Paris climate change talks and how cities can take meaningful action on energy use and conservation. Heartwell will take part in a panel discussion with Traverse City Mayor Jim Carruthers, Skip Pruss from 5 Lakes Energy, and a representative from Traverse City Light & Power. The event comes as local utilities and business leaders are increasingly attempting to George Heartwell step up renewable energy use. TCLP is working to add solar and wind energy to its portfolio and several wineries are working to get more of their operations off of the grid. The free event takes place Thursday, Oct. 6 at 7pm at the Central United Methodist Church on Cass Street in Traverse City.

We don’t need many excuses to order a tasty local craft beer in northern Michigan. But Traverse City’s Rare Bird Brewpub has got a good one for you anyway. Owners Nate Crane and Tina Schuett have launched a permanent ‘Do Good’ tap at the brewery’s Lake Avenue location. Each month, the duo select a different nonprofit to receive $1 from every pint sold from the Do Good tap. The beer selections frequently rotate: Rare Bird’s honey-spiked ale Son of a Bee Sting was recently tapped, while the brewery’s blonde ale Catch the Sun is on deck next. What doesn’t change is the contribution each pint represents for local charities. “We raised $1,800 for Norte! (in August), and about $1,300-$1,400 for Goodwill (in July),” said Schuett. September’s proceeds will benefit the Boardman River Clean Sweep; October’s sales will likely support the Grass River Natural Area, according to Schuett. The concept has become so popular with customers Rare Bird is now working to establish a nonprofit to expand the Do Good tap to other breweries. Drinking good beer while supporting good causes? We’ll cheers to that. – Beth Milligan

Northern Express Weekly • september 26, 2016 • 5


IF WE BUILD THEM... spectator by stephen tuttle Traverse City wants to create a new neighborhood just west of Boardman Lake. That will require a new road.

es at the same rate as road capacity: Build 10 percent more road capacity, and 10 percent more traffic will come.

The road, a scant six blocks long, will wend its way from Eighth Street to Fourteenth Street. The current cost estimates range from $2 million to $2.7 million.

This phenomenon appears to be consistent, whether in the booming population growth areas in the South and West or the shrinking Rust Belt states, and in communities large and small.

We’re told the available land is a good place for more housing, that it might spur commercial or retail investment, and that the new road will ease congestion on both Eighth and Cass streets. Two out of three ain’t bad. The city could use more residential units, and the site in question seems appropriate for that purpose. We’re not aware of any endangered species that call the area home,

There is an economic principle at play here known as induced demand, or in this case, induced traffic. It’s the notion that increasing supply will, in some instances, necessarily increase demand. More simply put, the research indicates more roads will translate to more drivers and more cars, which will increase to fill the

More simply put, the research indicates more roads will translate to more drivers and more cars, which will increase to fill the available road capacity. development there would not appreciably detract from the character of the neighborhood or the city, and nobody is talking about shoving a high-rise flush against a sidewalk. Whatever is built there will mean residents or employees or customers — or all three — will need to get in there and out. The little road will be necessary and welcome (as long as its construction does no harm to our beloved McGough’s; some things simply aren’t open for debate). What it will not do is relieve traffic congestion. We repeatedly will be told it will, and we might even hear about how many hours of time and productivity we’ll save by not sitting in traffic. Research, unfortunately, points in the opposite direction.

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It turns out traffic is a bit like water in that it happily fills any available pathway. The California Department of Transportation (Caltrans), puzzled as to how their labyrinth of new roads and freeways was not reducing traffic, undertook a most massive study, which included 40 years of data involving billions of vehicle miles. Their conclusion, released in 2014, was that new road capacity reduced congestion nowhere and actually increased it almost everywhere. Well, sure. California has had booming population growth, and more people means more cars. But the research confirmed earlier work conducted by the University of Pennsylvania and University of Toronto traffic engineers. The study by the University of Pennsylvania was especially salient since researches looked at smaller communities, too. They compared increased road capacity — new roads and the widening of existing roads — with traffic patterns and congestion. They discovered that traffic almost always increas-

available road capacity. If we build the roads, the cars will come. Research also tells us that new roads spur new development on and around those roads, which increases traffic flow. A new road on the west side of Boardman Lake will spur development, provide additional housing opportunities, and perhaps prompt new business opportunities. But it won’t relieve traffic. Of course, any time there’s a discussion about new or widening roads, the Hartman/Hammond bypass comes back to life. It would reduce all kinds of congestion, we’re told, and keep all those big trucks out of town. If that’s the sole logic for building it, we might as well save our money. That would seem to be especially true of truck traffic. Looking at a map you’ll notice Traverse City isn’t exactly a shortcut to anywhere. No trucker is going to just swing through town for the fun of it on the way to someplace else. Those trucks bring us all our stuff. All of it. Those heading elsewhere need not come here in the first place, so a bypass would be irrelevant to them. Those coming into town will bypass the bypass. While much of the bypass route cannot be developed because of the same environmental concerns that might prevent it ever being built, the start and finish points can and will be developed, including new residential areas nearby. New traffic will fill the new road. Most of the trucks will still have to snake their way into and through town. Some new roads, even a little six-block long road, make sense because they serve a legitimate purpose while filling a legitimate need. But the science tells us, and it’s overwhelmingly one-sided, those assuming that a new road along the lake or outside of town will relieve traffic congestion will be disappointed. New roads create more traffic, not less.


Crime & Rescue CHASE ENDS WITH A TACKLE When troopers attempted to pull over a man traveling 71mph in a 55 zone, the driver sped up and tried to get away. That led to a chase that reached speeds of 85mph on US-27 in Otsego County, as the driver of a 2000 Jeep attempted to outrun a Dodge Charger police cruiser. The chase turned onto a two track near Waters and continued on dirt roads for several miles. It ended in someone’s backyard after the suspect nearly ran into several houses, state police said. The 25-year-old Gaylord man attempted to continue his escape on foot but troopers soon tackled him. The chase began Sept. 20 at 3:14am. The man faces charges of fleeing and eluding, third offense drunk driving, resisting arrest and possession of marijuana. MISSING MAN FOUND DEAD Hunters discovered the remains of a 45-year-old Kalkaska man who has been missing for three years. Michael Bayne disappeared from his home without explanation in August 2013. Police confirmed a skeleton found in Orange Township by two hunters on Sept. 11 was Bayne, Kalkaska County Sheriff Patrick Whiteford said. State police assisted the sheriff’s department in identifying the remains. Bayne’s family said at the time of his disappearance that he’d recently suffered health problems. Investigators said there was no sign of foul play in Bayne’s death and that his family requested that details concerning his cause of death be kept private.

by patrick sullivan psullivan@northernexpress.com

as many as three gunshots as an older model black pickup, possibly with an extended cab, passed by at 12:45pm Sept, 16. There were two or three occupants in the vehicle. At least one bullet struck the home and passed through multiple walls, police said. Anyone with information should call police at (231) 779-6040. DRIVER JAILED AFTER ROLLOVER A driver told police he rolled his car and crashed because a fox ran in front of him on Cherry Bend Road. Leelanau County Sheriff’s deputies determined the man was intoxicated and arrested him for drunk driving after the Elmwood Township crash at 2am Sept. 19. The driver and a passenger, both Traverse City males, were injured when the 2005 Saab rolled over on a curve near Strang Road. The 23-year-old driver and 25-year-old passenger were treated for minor injuries and the driver was taken to jail. THREE INJURED IN RV-SEMI CRASH Manistee County Sheriff’s deputies closed US-31 for hours following a twovehicle crash near the M-22 intersection. The driver of a motor home pulled onto the highway into the path of a semi trailer hauling propane tanks, deputies said. The driver and passenger in the motor home, Manistee residents John and Janice Witkowski, ages 74 and 72, were taken to Munson Medical Center in Traverse City in critical condition. The semi-driver, 27-year-old Jesse Walker of Poynette, Wisc. was treated at West Shore Medical Center. The crash happened at 2pm Sept. 16.

MAN SUCCUMBS TO INJURIES An 85-year-old Florida man apparently failed to notice a stop sign, drove through an intersection and was broadsided by a pickup truck, leading to injuries that would take his life. Philip Houseman was driving west on Fouch Road at 7pm Sept. 18 when he failed to stop at Bugai Road, Leelanau County Sheriff’s deputies said. A deputy happened to be parked near the intersection and witnessed the crash. Houseman was taken to Munson Medical Center where he was later pronounced dead. Houseman’s Acura was broadsided by a GMC pickup truck that flipped onto its side in the crash. The 35-year-old Mesick man was treated for non-life threatening injuries. MAN KILLED BLOWING LEAVES A 74-year-old Cheboygan County man was struck and killed as he was blowing leaves in front of his house. Sheriff Dale Clarmont said blazing sunlight blinded a driver who struck the man on Devereaux Lake Road at M-33 in Aloha Township Sept. 14 at 7:53am. Sylvester Socolovitch was killed.

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ORV DRIVER KILLED The 23-year-old driver of a fourwheeler was killed near Manton when he pulled in front of a logging truck. Manton resident James Sloat was pulling out of his driveway when he was struck and killed, Missaukee County Sheriff’s deputies said. The crash occurred at Sloat’s home on W. Burns Road in Caldwell Township at 3:48pm, The truck was driven by a 47-year-old Fife Lake man. BOMB THREAT CLOSES SCHOOL A bomb threat prompted the evacuation of Grand Traverse Academy. Grand Traverse Sheriff’s deputies searched the charter school but no bomb was discovered. School was canceled for the day. A teacher found a note at early Sept. 20 indicating there was a bomb and students and staff were told to leave the building; an automated telephone message alerted parents that their children needed rides home. The evacuation caused heavy traffic to back up around the school. Deputies later identified two 13-year-old students suspected of making the threat. BULLET TORE THROUGH HOME State police are investigating after people in a Fife Lake residence heard gunshots and a bullet pierced the walls of their home. No one was injured. Occupants of the home on E. County Line Road told troopers that they heard

Investigators determined that the 60-year-old driver could not see Socolovitch in the rising sun and that Socolovitch, who was standing in the road, could not hear the approaching car over the sound of his leaf blower.

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Northern Express Weekly • september 26, 2016 • 7


Insanity Defined Police and prosecutors in Dallas, appropriately sensitive at having been the site of the 1963 killing of President Kennedy, have apparently taken out their shame on assassination buff Robert Groden. As the Dallas Observer reported in September, Groden has been ticketed by police dozens of times for operating book sales booths near the “grassy knoll” (site of the alleged “second shooter” of the president) -- and yet he prevails in court every single time (82 straight, and counting). (Tip for visitors from the Observer: Never publicly utter “grassy knoll” in Dallas, as it seems particularly to offend the police.)

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The Continuing Crisis -- Stephen Mader, 25, native of Weirton, West Virginia, and former Weirton police officer, is fighting to get his job back after being fired for not being quick enough on the trigger. When Ronald Williams Jr., in May, made a ham-handed attempt at “suicide by cop,” it was Mader who, rather than shooting, tried to talk Williams down (based on his Marine Corps and police academy training), but when Williams pointed his unloaded gun at two of Mader’s colleagues, and one of them quickly shot the man to death, police officials fired Mader for having been insufficiently aggressive. -- Can’t Possibly Be True: Few U.S. forces in Afghanistan speak the native Pashto or Dari, and the war prospects would be dim were it not for courageous Afghan civilians who aid the U.S. as interpreters under promise of protection and future emigration to the U.S. However, the congressional battle over immigration policy has delayed entry for about 10,000 interpreters, who (along with their families) face imminent death if they remain in Afghanistan. Some in Congress also regard Afghans as riskier immigrants (despite the interpreters’ demonstrated loyalty). Suspicions Confirmed Master baker Stefan Fischer filed a lawsuit recently against Bakery of New York for wrongful firing -- because he refused to use “bug-infested” flour to make batches of bread. According to Fischer, when he informed management of the bugs in the facility’s 3,000-pound flour silo, he was told simply to make “multigrain” bread, which Fischer took to mean that fewer diners would complain if they heard “crunching” while eating multigrain.

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Weird Science Trees talk to each other and recognize their offspring, according to Australian ecology researcher Suzanne Simard (most recently lecturing on the influential video series TED Talks). Trees are not independent organisms but belong to arboreal “families” with characteristics identifying them to other family members. According to Dr. Simard, “mother” trees that ordinarily expand their roots wildly may hold back to give nearby “kinfolk” tree roots a chance to spread. Using “isotope tracing,” she learned of trees passing healthful carbon, via fungi, to neighboring family seedlings, which she said renders the seedlings more resistant to future stress. Can’t Stop Myself (1) The lifelong pickpocket known as “Auntie Sato,” 83, who has spent nearly 30 years of her life behind bars, was sentenced again (two years, six months) in August for a purse-snatching from a traveler in Tokyo’s Ueno Station. “Why,” asked the judge, does Auntie Sato keep at it, especially since she also owns property and has rental income. Said she, “I thought about (stopping),” but “gave up.” “It’s hopeless.” (2) Faisal Shaikh, awaiting his cellphone theft case to be called at the Thane sessions court in Mumbai, India, in August (one of several theft charges pending), wandered up to the court stenographer’s desk and swiped her cellphone. He was apprehended shortly afterward near the courthouse. Oops! By August, Raymond Mazzarella was fed up with the tree in his neighbor’s yard in Pittston Township, Pennsylvania, as it was continuously dripping sap onto his car -- and so grabbed a chainsaw, cut through the 36-inch-wide trunk, and (he thought) fixed the problem. However, the tree fell directly onto Mazzarella’s small apartment house, dispossessing five tenants and, ultimately, forcing inspectors to condemn the entire building. Recurring Themes Popular Fetishes: (1) A middle-aged man was reported in three incidents in the Aberdeen, Scotland, area in August and September to be approaching women and asking for piggyback rides. He was still at large. (2) In September, England’s Derby Crown Court sentenced Sanjeev Sandhu, 29, to six months in jail because of the “extreme” pornography on his phone. One image was of children having sex, but the judge also noted images featuring humans having sex with dogs, a donkey, a bull and in another case, a fish.

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personnel (among the 200 at the session) to “prepare to be beaten.” He then walked among the workers, whacking some with a stick, shaving the heads of the males and cutting the hair of the females.

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How to Tell If You’re Drunk Dave Little, 27, vacationing on the Mediterranean island of Ibiza, Spain -- and partying hard, apparently -- was at press time still haggling with eBay, trying to get out of his “successful” auction bid (blamed on a fingering misadventure on his phone) of 28,500 British pounds (about $37,000) for a Scania Irizar Century bus. eBay, of course, warns that bids are legally binding. Little believes that his dad had earlier searched bus information on the phone and that alcohol then affected his own navigation between screens.


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crossed

a local pastor and a local atheist debate Does Religion Solve the Mystery of Life After Death?

Rev. Dr. William C. Myers

Gary Singer

Senior Pastor at Presbyterian Church of Traverse City “Remember, you are dust, and to dust you shall return.” From the days of Adam, death has been a part of life. We didn’t give birth to ourselves. We cannot avoid “the debt all men pay.” Our lives belong to God. Theist or non-theist, every person fears death; those who don’t live in denial. We are hard-wired for self-preservation. Death is our mortal enemy. While the pain of life may become too great and death becomes a welcome friend, we will, yet, have lived striving to avoid death and died fearing we have nothing to show for it. In The Denial of Death and Escape from Evil, Earnest Becker eloquently argues all we think and do, all our imaginative and creative works, our art and music, our philosophies and sciences, our monuments and industries, yes,

GARY’S RESPONSE

As Bill correctly points out, we all have a natural fear of death. That is completely understandable and we all must come to grips with the inevitability of that occurrence. Fabricating comforting solutions is fine for anyone who feels the need to convince themselves they won’t simply disappear. As always with religious teaching, my problem is the continued propagation of these

Gary helps businesses with their Internet marketing. He was raised a Catholic. even our religions, are futile and pitiful attempts to deny the inevitable. We cannot escape death. Our denial of death is often seen most clearly at funerals. We fill the room with flowers and surround the body with statuary. We offer platitudes to those grieving. Why? The truth is too hard to bear. But flowers fade. Statuary becomes clutter. Platitudes fall flat. We are helpless in the face of death, but, if we have faith, we are not hopeless. Facing death, people of faith are like anyone else. We weep. We mourn. We ache. We grieve. We become angry. We deny. We fear. What separates us from non-theists is we also trust. We trust that, even in death, God, to whom our life belongs, will turn our mourning to dancing. We have a peace that passes all understanding.

fantasies by passing them to children without offering options. The religious seldom teach their kids that while they believe in life after death, many people throughout history have dismissed this concept, relied upon empirical evidence, and lived perfectly rich and full lives. Those people don’t dwell in fear of the unknown, but take comfort in reality. To me, that is the more peaceful outcome.

How do you picture life after death? The only thing we have to base such a concept upon is what others have told us to believe. Dismissing the tales of those who have “died” and returned to tell us about the light and such, your image is as good as mine. These thoughts have perplexed mankind since the evolution of our highly developed central nervous system, enabling us to make such considerations. Since the concept of our non-existence is naturally uncomfortable, it makes sense that ancient beliefs would fabricate life after death in one form or another. In my estimation, the need for humans to comfort themselves with eternal existence is the primary driver of the continuation of religion. We are taught from early in life that certain beliefs will result in an afterlife of paradise, and that failure to believe so will bring

BILL’S RESPONSE

Gary believes life ends in death. I don’t. But Gary offers no evidence other than personal belief. He dismisses documented accounts of those who have had a life after death experience. He ignores the scores of people who believe there is an afterlife. But even so, at the end of the day, we are still left with his question: How do you picture life after death? Or, better yet: “What do you believe about life after death?”

Gary and Bill agree that until the day comes when we may discover for ourselves what awaits us beyond this life, each of us must answer the question of the afterlife for ourselves.

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eternal damnation. That’s powerful motivation to an immature mind. At its core, virtually every religion allows us to pretend we will never die. Though it might be uncomfortable to consider the possibility that when we die everything will be the same as it was before we were born, that really does seem to be the most plausible outcome. Coming to grips with that notion makes it much easier to dismiss the scores of afterlife beliefs from more than 4,000 religions. This is great news, when you think about it. No hell or purgatory-type punishments for all of those mortal and venial sins that Catholicism foisted upon me. On the other hand, no lounging around on clouds, hanging out with saints, dead friends, and relatives either. I prefer plausibility to wishful thinking.

Gary mocks those who don’t share his beliefs…“no lounging around on clouds, hanging out with saints, dead friends, and relatives.” I leave it to faith. Through the love of Jesus Christ, I trust God’s promise: “Nothing in life or death will ever separate us from God’s love.”


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STATE OF

THE ODAWA It took centuries for the Little Traverse Bay Bands of Odawa Indians to become recognized as an Indian tribe by the United States. In the intervening years, that status has transformed their lives.

By Patrick Sullivan A timeline of the Little Traverse Bay Bands of Odawa Indians’ history, as chronicled on the bands’ website, begins in the 1600s, when the ancestors of the people who would make up the modern tribe first settled in northern lower Michigan. It ends in the late 1990s, when the tribe gained federal recognition as an American Indian tribe and opened the Odawa Casino Resort in Petoskey. The timeline hasn’t been updated since — perhaps because there’s been way too much going on. “The standard of living has dramatically increased,” said Wesley Andrews, the Odawa historic preservation officer. “To me, the quality of life for individual people has dramatically improved. That’s the biggest thing that I see, and I am happy for people.” The turning point for the band, according to Andrews, was its official recognition by the federal government. “Most tribal members, before 20 years ago, when we got our federal status, had to work several jobs every year, because you didn’t have full-time employment with benefits,” Andrews said. “Healthcare has been a major part of it, too. I see a lot of people in better health and with less of the physical problems, the psychological problems that came with poverty. And [I see] people even taking vacations. Going somewhere and doing something.” KEEPING A CULTURAL FIRE LIT Change Rachel Snyderhas come because federal recogPhoto enabled by MichaelLTBB Poehlman nition to Photography earn money through their casino, to assert hunting and fishing

treaty rights, and to establish a sovereign government that focuses on bettering the lives of its members. In a short time, LTBB’s government has developed into a bureaucracy resembling a miniature state. The tribe runs its own police force and courts; has housing, health and education departments; offers elder services, food and energy assistance; and maintains an archive of the tribe’s history that’s collected so much material, a large expansion is underway.

around the clock to tend to the fire honoring the lost tribal member. “If you live in an apartment building, it’s really hard to light a ceremonial fire,” said Rebecca Fisher, LTTB executive assistant. A CHANGING RELATIONSHIP One of the first government departments created after the tribe gained federal status in 1994 was the Little Traverse Bay Bands’ Natural Resources Department, established in 1996.

I see a lot of people in better health and with less of the physical problems, the psychological problems that came with poverty. And [I see] people even taking vacations. Going somewhere and doing something.” Amid all of that change, a lot of focus has been put on maintaining traditional culture in the face of the modern world. For example, tradition requires a ceremonial fire to burn for four days when a tribe member “walks on,” or passes away. Because some families would find it challenging to set aside so much time to man a fire, let alone secure a place to safely have the fire, the band erected a fire keeper’s lodge a short walk away from the administration building on the band’s government campus outside of Harbor Springs. There, a large fire pit is tucked under a pavilion roof that boasts a small opening, allowing smoke to rise to the sky. While a family mourns, fire keepers stay up in the lodge

12 • september 26, 2016 • Northern Express Weekly

Doug Craven, LTTB natural resource director since 2002, said the department today employs 25 full-time and 30 seasonal employees. The department was created amid a battle with the state over fishing and hunting rights in the 1980s and 1990s, but today the LTTB NRD works hand-in-hand on a lot of projects with its one-time foe, the Michigan Department of Natural Resources. “That was one of the key drivers for our tribe seeking reaffirmation, the exercise of treaty rights,” Craven said. “That’s always been an important component of our community, of our cultural identity, of what it means to be Odawa. … Hunting, fishing, gathering, basket-making — those

are all core components of what it means to be Odawa.” A Great Lakes Consent Decree, an agreement that governs allocation, management, and regulation of state and tribal fisheries in the Great Lakes, was reached in 2000. The Inland Consent Decree, which established the terms of tribal members’ inland hunting and fishing rights, was resolved in 2007. Since those settlements were negotiated, the tribe slowly has been able to find common ground with the state. Craven said each side has come to realize they share a lot of the same goals — like ensuring the survival of fish species that are disappearing from the Great Lakes due to an onslaught of invasive species. “We have biologists that are working for us now, and ones that are working for the state, that come out of the same universities,” Craven said. “They come out of the same classes, you know? They know each other, so they have this working rapport — while prior to 2000, and maybe even prior to 2007, we didn’t necessarily have that.” STURGEON IN THE CLASSROOM At the Odawa Fish Enhancement Facility near Pellston, researchers are learning how to bolster Lake Michigan’s cisco (lake herring) population and Burt Lake’s sturgeon population. “It actually provides a lot of benefit, not only to tribal members, but to the non-tribal community as well,” Craven said. “This is our third year now where we’ve stocked up around 50,000 cisco into Little Traverse Bay this year. We are really trying to advance the ball on cisco restoration.”


Cisco is like whitefish but a bit smaller. The population collapsed in Lake Michigan in the 1980s, but Craven said exactly what caused the collapse is unknown — that’s what researchers are trying to figure out. The facility also researches and restocks sturgeon, a threatened species in Michigan. This year the Odawa Fish Enhancement team stocked 225 of the fish into the Sturgeon River, which feeds into Burt Lake. “Sturgeon is one of those great examples where we’ve been able to work cooperatively with the state of Michigan in developing a management plan for Burt Lake and in the waterway itself,” Craven said. The tribe also has developed an innovative program to get sturgeon into schools. Students in Pellston, Harbor Springs, Petoskey and Alanson will raise the fish in classrooms this year. The LTBB NRD worked with the tribe’s education department to create a curriculum around the sturgeon project that includes math, science, and Odawa cultural lessons. “They’ve really taken all of the heavy lifting out of the equation and put together a nice package that you can present to a school that [teachers] can easily implement,” Craven said. “It’s not simply a field trip or a coloring book or that type of thing, but it really works on some outside-the-box thinking, some advanced math skills, some critical thinking.” Each class will raise one sturgeon, and four more will be raised as backups at the enhancement facility, so that toward the end of the school year there should be four to eight fish ready to be released. A PROGRESSIVE TRIBE LTBB Tribal Chairwoman Regina Gasco Bentley oversees a group that has taken some progressive steps in recent years, not the least of which was electing a woman to serve as tribal chair. Bentley has served for over a decade on the tribal council, and she’s been the tribal chair since 2014, when the previous tribal chairman lost his seat in a recall election. The LTBB tribe was the first in Michigan, and among the first in the country, to adopt the Violence Against Women Act to address

domestic violence. It was also one of the first American Indian tribes in the country to protect the right of same-sex marriage. Bentley agrees that these were bold moves, but she said she doesn’t believe LTTB are all that different from other tribes. “I’m sure we are advanced in some ways, but I still see all of our tribes as equals. We all have our laws, and we all form things in different ways,” she said. “Passing the same-sex marriage was big, but it was long overdue. We have always respected the two-spirited people of our tribe, so the council at the time thought it was time to enact the law.” Another area where LTTB has taken a leading role is in energy use. The tribe has adopted the goal that its government and casino should meet the Kyoto Protocol energy-use standards to combat climate change. They hope to achieve that through energy conservation and renewable energy. “It’s an ambitious goal, yes, absolutely,” Craven said. “Obviously we’d like to get as close to that as we can, but there are hurdles that we’re running up against. Cost is one of the issues there. And then just the viability of some of these technologies.” Already the casino has transitioned to LED lights and implemented major system changes to reduce its energy consumption and carbon footprint, Craven said, but the tribe has its eyes on even bigger efforts. It has reached an agreement with its utility, Great Lakes Energy, enabling it to sell surplus energy back to the utility, and it plans to install solar panels at the government center next. Also on the agenda: Running the Odawa Fish Enhancement Facility — one of the tribe’s hungriest energy consumers — with as much renewable energy as is feasible. HERE FIRST, BUT SEEN AS SECOND-CLASS In a generation, LTTB members have gone from impoverished outcasts who suffered from prejudice and racism to earning status as formidable members of society. Bentley believes there is still plenty of racism and more progress needs to be made, but she said things have gotten a lot better. “Racism is still there. There are a lot of non-tribal people that don’t understand our

culture, and they still see us as stereotypes. They don’t understand that we’re still here, we’ve always been here,” she said. “We’re not held back by the stereotypes. Overcoming historical trauma is hard, but we just keep moving forward, and we show the people that we’re still here; our culture is still alive.” Racism recedes, she said, when people learn the history of American Indian people and see who the tribal members are today. Tremendous strides have been made; not long ago, tribal members were forbidden to speak their language in school. Today, Anishinaabemowin is taught in public schools in both Petoskey and Harbor Springs. Craven cites the younger generation’s experience as proof that racism against American Indians is no longer as prevalent as it once was Up North. “My kids go to school in the area — I have four boys right now — and I think they’re accepted in their community,” he said. “You get to the kids that are their age, they don’t know any different. So my kids have tribal names, and they’re definitely tribal-looking individuals, but I don’t feel that they’re being mistreated by their peers because of who they are.” Craven sees the conflict at one of its sources — resentment over hunting and fishing treaty rights — and he said part of his job is to educate non-natives about why American Indians have different rights and how tribal members are committed to preserving natural resources. Andrews said that casinos have not only enriched American Indian tribes, they’ve also reminded non-natives of the tribes’ existence. “I can remember when telling a non-native person that you’re native was sometimes met with denial,” Andrews said. “‘Well, you can’t be Indian. We killed all of them.’ That’s how much the identity of native people, not only around here, but also in other places in the country (was diminished).” Andrews said that, today, tribal members have to consider how their new-found status could cause trouble. “The tribe needs to be able to live more in cooperation with other people, and that’s going take some time and some skill to do that — as a group as well as individuals. Because of our political and legal status now, that changes the way in which we are viewed,” he said. “We were received as a non-threat to the area, pitied or even disparaged because of our status previously. Now there’s fear.” REPATRIATION OF REMAINS Like with hunting and fishing rights, repatriation of American Indian remains and artifacts is another source of conflict between natives and non-natives. Andrews is at the center of that. He often calls upon two federal acts designed to preserve and protect American Indian culture because he’s the person who gets called when an American Indian burial site is unearthed. He also reviews construction applications for projects located on federal land within a mile of places where the LTTB have historic use or occupancy. He also negotiates with museums and universities over the return of artifacts that were taken from the tribe. In 45 years of this work, Andrews has helped recover remains and artifacts of unquantifiable significance to the tribe. Almost everything that is unearthed and returned is reburied under the strict tenants of tribal tradition, he said. There has been talk of the tribe starting its own museum, but Andrews said that would go against the tribe’s tradition of honoring the past by treating things that are put into the ground the same way as the people who originally put them there. Andrews said the tribe isn’t trying to make trouble for people, it is merely trying to correct historical wrongs. Take, for example, when construction

workers find American Indian remains. There have been cases in recent years where the crews, afraid of delays and added expenses, have attempted to hide the remains rather than turn them over to the tribe. “I hear about it all the time. There are human remains found, some old graves and stuff like this, and they hide it. Because they think that getting ahold of the tribe, it’s going to slow the project down, and it’s going to create all this problem,” Andrews said. “But I try to educate people. I talk to all these different contractors and things — it’s not a problem. We can come in, and we can take these out. We have the capability to come in, and we can take all of those bodies out of there on private land. I’ve done it before. I’ve done it a lot.” A DISPUTE IN FEDERAL COURT For the past year, LTTB and the State of Michigan have been tangled in a dispute in federal court. The tribe wants its reservation boundaries — which, as spelled out in the 1855 Treaty of Detroit, include most of Emmet County and the northern part of Charlevoix County — officially recognized so that it can exercise jurisdiction in that area. However, the suit has stirred fear among non-native neighbors who worry what tribal jurisdiction would mean. According to a memo produced by members of a local lake association, some believe a victory for the tribe could threaten private property and exempt tribal members from the restrictions of local zoning. Bentley said those fears are unwarranted. “It’s not to take people’s property or to take people’s homes or anything like that. It’s just for them to recognize that we have jurisdiction over our own people within our reservation boundaries,” she said. “I think some people are getting misinformed. All we’re doing is asking the state government to recognize that we do have a reservation here. This is our reservation boundaries as set out by the Treaty of 1855.” She said the result of the suit should spell out how the tribe and local governments can work together. “We share this land together. We live on it. We’re going to have to get along,” she said. “We have a great working relationship with all the other governments, and we’re here to stay. We’re a tribe. We want to take care of our own citizens and live within the lands that the government set out for us.”

THE LITTLE TRAVERSE BAY BAND BY THE NUMBERS... • Number of tribal members who live on the reservation: 3765 • Number who live off: 789 • Number of people employed by LTBB government: 284 • Number of people employed by Odawa casinos: 533 • LTBB annual government budget: approx. $30 million • Amount passed on to local governments in most recent two percent funding: $543,503

Northern Express Weekly • september 26, 2016 • 13


14 • september 26, 2016 • Northern Express Weekly


Amy Thielen

Kenneth L. Woodward

Get Literary at the

NEW HARBOR SPRINGS FESTIVAL OF THE BOOK

F

By Kristi Kates ounded by a local group of fans of the written word, a new festival is launching in Harbor Springs in celebration of all things books. The idea behind the Harbor Springs Festival of the Book was simple: Create something unexpected that would put the city on the map as a literary hub. FRIENDLY VENUES The three-day event, which will include panels, keynotes, demonstrations, literaryinspired drinks and dishes, a running race, and more, will bring over 30 nationally and internationally known authors, illustrators, and other presenters to venues throughout the city. All venues are within easy walking distance of each other, enabling the city to showcase not only its literary lion guest list but also its own charm and beauty. In addition to offering an economic boost to the bayside hamlet’s shoulder season, one of the goals of the event is that it be affordable and inclusive to all, said Kate Denten, the festival’s executive director. “With only four of the events requiring a paid ticket, I hope that people take full advantage of the unique opportunity to learn from and meet authors who span a variety of genres,” she said. “I also hope that attendees, including myself, expand their horizons and

attend author events that they wouldn’t normally gravitate toward. For example, I don’t gravitate towards poetry, but I’m really looking forward to listening to and meeting the poets that are presenting.”

past presidents’ years in office. “Each of these presentations will be extremely interesting and each very different from the other,” she said.

DINE AND READ Denton said she thinks the weekend will be filled with countless highlights — and among the biggest crowd-pleasers will be the “bookend” luncheons. “To me, there’s nothing better than reading a fantastic cookbook and then experiencing the preparation, cooking and, of course, eating something new.” Friday’s luncheon will feature Domenica Marchetti and her book Preserving Italy, while Sunday’s will welcome Amy Thielen and her book The New Midwestern Table. Both luncheon tickets will include copies of the respective authors’ cookbooks.

MULTIMEDIA FUN Plenty of additional literarythemed happenings will round out the full Festival of the Book weekend, including special bookthemed drinks and foods at various venues; the Letters: Words with Friends media exhibition at Three Pines Studio; kids’ activities, including a fun run alongside children’s book characters; and, at The Pier Restaurant, a big Book Trivia night in which teams of 4 to 6 people can match their book trivia knowledge against that of other book enthusiasts. (All money raised at the Book Trivia event will be donated to the northern Michigan branch of the Michigan Dyslexia Institute.) After months of planning, Denten said what she’s looking forward to the most is seeing everything come together — and taking notes for next year. “Believe it or not, we’ve already begun our potential list of presenters for the 2017 festival!” she said. “I look forward to many years of the Harbor Springs Festival of the Book, each one with its own unique personality.”

CITIES AND RELIGIONS Another highlight? Pulitzer Prize winning author David Maraniss (Once in a Great City: A Detroit Story) will serve as keynote speaker on Friday night, speaking about his experiences growing up in Detroit. “Many of our attendees are from the Detroit area and will be able to easily identify with what David has to say,” Denten said. And Kenneth L. Woodward, the religion editor of Newsweek for almost 40 years, on Saturday night will discuss the role religion has played in history, particularly in the

David Maraniss Photo by Lucian Perkins

Domenica Marchetti

For more information on the inaugural 2016 Harbor Springs Festival of the Book, happening Sept. 30– Oct. 2, visit hsfotb.org or call 231-838-2725.

Northern Express Weekly • september 26, 2016 • 15


By Kristi Kates

Petoskey’s Hidden Sport Whitewater Kayaking

CLASSES OF WHITE WATER

aka The International Scale of River Difficulty for Whitewater Sports CLASS 1: Very small rough areas, might require slight maneuvering. Skill Level: Very Basic CLASS 2: Some rough water, maybe some rocks, might require some maneuvering. Skill Level: Basic Paddling CLASS 3: Whitewater, small waves, maybe a small drop, but no considerable danger. Might require significant maneuvering. Skill Level: Intermediate CLASS 4: Whitewater, medium waves, possible rocks, possibility of considerable drops, sharp maneuvers may be needed. Skill Level: Exceptional CLASS 5: Whitewater, large waves, large volume, possibility of large rocks and hazards, possibility of large drops, requires precise maneuvering. Skill Level: Full Mastery of Rafting CLASS 6: Considered to be so dangerous that it is effectively unnavigable on a reliably safe basis. Substantial whitewater, huge waves, huge rocks and hazards, substantial drops. Severe impact ratings on equipment. Skill Level: Full Mastery. Photo courtesy City of Petoskey Parks and Recreation.

16 • september 26, 2016 • Northern Express Weekly

In the heart of the City of Petoskey is an attraction that would perhaps be more expected in the wilds of the Colorado River, the Nenana River in Alaska, or the Rogue River in Oregon: the Bear River Valley Recreation Area Whitewater Park, specifically crafted for kayaking fun and said to be the only whitewater park in northern lower Michigan. The entire Bear River Recreation Area — a 36-acre, 1.5 mile-long valley park alongside Petoskey’s Bear River — underwent a $2.4 million facelift just a few years ago, and the river itself was part of that remodel. The park and the whitewater area both sit within a short walk of Petoskey’s downtown Historic Gaslight District, which is where the “unexpected” part comes in. “The whitewater park is between Sheridan Street and Lake Michigan,” said Al Hansen, director of Parks and Recreation for the City of Petoskey. “We basically re-engineered the river to do this, and we’re one of the first cities to do so in Michigan, although it’s common out in the western U.S. We worked with the design with [Ann Arbor] engineering firm Beckett and Raeder, and they subcontracted with a company out of Boulder, Col., to add drops and pools to the river to make it more navigable, so after the whitewater parts there would be spaces in the water to rest and rescue.” To take advantage of this recreational opportunity, you’ll need gear. If you don’t already have your own, Hansen said it’s easy to rent right in town; he recommends The Bahnhof. “What we suggest is the standard whitewater kayak, with the skirt that goes around your waist and over the kayak so it’s watertight. Inflatable kayaks are especially good, as they’re more forgiving and don’t tip as easily.” You’ll also need a helmet, gloves, and arm pads. “That’s because the bottom has lots of rocks, so it’s a pretty abrasive river. But the obstacles are what make such great white water!” Hansen said. And, of course, you’ll need some white-water skills. But according to Hansen, the park is both friendly to beginners and a challenge for more experienced kayakers. “The lower part of the whitewater run is good for beginners or intermediate kayakers, depending on the time of year — it’s rated 1–2,” Hansen said. “Then the upper section is rated 3–4, again depending on the season. During spring and fall, we get lots of water rushing through after storm events to make a pretty substantial rapids, and this is already probably the fastest-flowing river in northern Michigan. The upper rapids are really recommended only for advanced kayakers.” Hansen also added that 6 to 8 hours after a big rainstorm is a great time for those looking for a kayaking challenge. “That’s when the water’s high,” he said, “so keep an eye on the weather to find out when the rapids will be wild.” Spring is another great time for the white-water run as early melts and cold water make for good whitewater; Hansen mentioned that he’s even met people who have driven up from downstate just to kayak at the Bear River park. “We get a lot more people shooting the river when the water’s high,” he said, “Fishermen enjoy the area, too. The re-engineered river also has created better fishing in the river, as the same conditions that aid kayakers help the fish habitat. And some people will visit not to kayak, but just to view the whitewater and the scenery,” Hansen said. “It’s a gorgeous place, and what’s most neat about it is that it’s right in the middle of town.” Use of the Bear River Valley Recreation Area Whitewater Park is free and has two main entrances: one on downtown Petoskey’s Lake Street, across from the Petoskey Marina, and a second on Sheridan Street near US-31, where you’ll find a parking lot at the base of the hill. Learn more: petoskey.us (Parks and Recreation Dept.) or call 231-347-2500.


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Northern Express Weekly • september 26, 2016 • 17


CARLIN SMITH’S TOUR OF PETOSKEY

I

t’s likely that nobody will correct you if you call Carlin Smith “Mr. Petoskey.” He’s lived in the town for almost thirty years and has served as Chamber President since 2003. Prior to that, he led Petoskey’s downtown. Dropping his kids at school in the morning, dining at a downtown eatery or in a meeting with business owners about what’s next, he’s surrounded by people who admire and revere his personality and accomplishments. Northern Express caught up with him about what’s new, great, and challenging in Petoskey. Michael Poehlman Photography

Express: What don’t people know about Petoskey who haven’t been there in a while?

cent growth mostly among wealthy retirees moving there?

Smith: There’s a lot beneath the surface that people don’t know or haven’t seen if they haven’t been here. People of course think of us as a tourism town, but there’s a manufacturing community that’s relevant and profitable, with several plants that have been here a long time, so that’s one thing. The other thing to understated is the hospital, McLaren of Northern Michigan. Regardless of how you feel about the politics of healthcare or hospitals, at the end of the day it’s our county’s largest employer, and not only that, but an employer of professional level positions, and they support our community in such a tremendous way. And another unique element you also get in Traverse City and Leelanau is what we call “resortism.” We use that term a lot here, and it’s different from tourism. A tourist will buy gas, stay at hotel, recreate…but resorters will do that but also use our health care, pay taxes, buy a car and groceries, and be philanthropic. Those resorters have second homes here, and that’s a huge part of our success here. They provide an insulator; if gas prices spike or the weather is lousy, tourism can suffer, but those resorters are already invested and are going to keep coming regardless.

Smith: Yes, it is a challenge. Great question. It’s of course great to have rich, retired people who invest and drive-up property values, but as that happens what happens to teachers, nurses and the general folks who live here and how can they afford homes? I know you’re seeing it in TC. Sarah Lucas [of Networks Northwest] calls it the “missing middle.” We need workforce housing.

Express: Is Petoskey facing the same challenges as Traverse City with regard to its re-

Express: And any answers? Smith: I don’t have a silver bullet. I can say it’s the subject of a conversation I just had at lunch with our executive committee, on Friday in Cadillac with the director of MSHDA, and several meetings in town to get our arms around the scope of the problem. There’s not a quick, easy fix, but it’s on a lot of radars. Express: What about young families and young professionals? I know that’s something you’re working on. Smith: You know, we’re discovering there are more young professionals here than we thought. It’s pretty vibrant. We need to find ways to find and engage them and keep them loving Petoskey and to stay and buy homes here. We just started doing that with

18 • september 26, 2016 • Northern Express Weekly

Thrive 45, which plays off the 45th parallel and also the age range. We’re doing professional development, networking, and social events for that group. And I’ve been surprised. Again, there are more of those folks than we thought. Express: We’re sometimes amazed at how infrequently people from Leelanau or Traverse City or Frankfort or Cadillac visit Petoskey. What would you say to those people? Smith: I would say the food scene and emerging wine scene are reasons to visit. We’re not the Leelanau Peninsula yet, but we have an emerging viticulture economy and it’s exciting. Our food is good here as well, and we’re catching up to Traverse City in that respect; we have a really good restaurant scene. And of course we offer a lot of what other communities do, like the beautiful views, scenery, places to hike. And then if somebody is maybe wanting to move, it goes much deeper: our quality of health care, great schools, our downtown. Express: We used to hear that people in Petoskey would say they “didn’t want to grow up to be like Traverse City.” Is that sentiment still around? Smith: Great question. I look at TC with a little envy. I like its downtown and waterfront, and

I look longingly at some of the cool things there. But I think controlling growth is the issue. As a Chamber, you want growth to happen, but how do you control it so you grow on the community’s terms and it’s comfortable to handle? That’s what people are referring to. It’s more about sprawl. And our leadership has done a nice job so far. We believe it’s OK to have a Meijer and WalMart; people need things from those businesses. It’s a quality of life thing to have them here. But you want to control it at a place where there’s a balance. Express: You embody the town. Many people think of you when they think of Petoskey and even join or stay with the Chamber just because you’re there. What do you think when you hear that? Smith: I’m a little surprised, but I feel good. I love Petoskey. It was love at first sight, and I just have continued to loved living here, having my kids at the schools, raising my family here, enjoying the parks… it fits my lifestyle. And we have such a good, strong, engaged population and so to hear you say that I might say I’m a bit of a cheerleader, but to hear that makes me feel good. And I have no intentions to go anywhere. As long as my board and membership will have me, I love the job and I don’t want to leave!


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tickets.interlochen.org • 800.681.5920 Northern Express Weekly • september 26, 2016 • 19


Fall Into the Past O N TH E S RI’S VINTAGE CO LO R TO UR TR A IN S

By Kristi Kates The first steam locomotive is thought to have gone into operation in 1804, a new travel innovation for the time that produced its power via a steam engine, which was in turn fueled by burning combustibles (usually coal, wood, or oil.) By the 1950s, steam power had been phased out of American railroads, overtaken by diesel engines, but the travel experience remained much the same: conductors shouted out last call for boarding as couples embraced one last time, the doors of the train cars clicked shut as people settled in for their journey, and smoke billowed out of the train’s stack and rose to the sky as the train slowly chugged off toward the horizon. TWO VIEWS So what was it like to take a trip in one of these vintage locomotives? You can find out this fall, via one of the tourist trains operated in Michigan by the Steam Railroading Institute, an Owosso organization dedicated to these historical transport vehicles. “SRI’s mission is to preserve the knowledge, skills, and technology involved with the maintenance and operation of steam locomotives,” said Kim Springsdorf, who works with the institute. The SRI is hosting a series of color tour train trips that will offer a dual

experience: travel on a vintage train — a unique experience all its own — and some of the most gorgeous fall views in all of Michigan. RIDE THE RAILS “The SRI-hosted color tours will be pulled by diesel locomotives that are owned by Great Lakes Central,” Springsdorf said. “The vintage passenger cars are part of the rolling stock owned by Steam Railroading Institute, while the tracks that we travel on are also owned by Great Lakes Central and remain in operation today with the hauling of freight.” While major passenger railways like Amtrak only travel as far north as Grand Rapids/Port Huron these days, there are still several rail lines across Michigan that are used for freight and tourism operations. AUTUMN EXCURSIONS On Oct. 1, SRI passengers embarking from downtown Petoskey at 10am will travel to Fife Lake, arriving at around 1pm to take in a host of local activities. “Once you arrive in Fife Lake, we invite you to take in the beautiful countryside and enjoy pontoon or kayak tours of the lake, fishing, a live band downtown, the historical museum, a historic walk, hiking, tennis, and disc golf, and a scavenger hunt,” Springsdorf said. “Food vendors will be downtown in the park as well as at the farm-

20 • september 26, 2016 • Northern Express Weekly

ers market, and we’ll also have boat rides and kayak use by donation.” A similar excursion will take place on Oct. 8, departing from Cadillac at 10am to arrive in Mancelona’s Railroad Park at 12:30pm, with passengers invited to take place in the city’s Mancelona Days, which will offer entertainment, a flea market, food vendors, a beverage tent, and more. A third trek will take passengers from Mt. Pleasant to Cadillac on Oct. 15. Additional, shorter jaunts called the Countryside Tours — specific to just viewing the fall colors — will depart from each location as well. “On those, passengers will enjoy a leisurely train ride lasting approximately one hour,” Springsdorf said. TIME TRAVEL Common to all of these SRI train excursions is the overall experience of riding in a vintage transport vehicle, which Springsdorf likens to going back in time. “Our train car hosts are dressed in uniforms, and several of our gentleman hosts are all decked out in their conductor uniforms,” she sald. “Seating is very comfortable, and guests have access to a merchandise car and a food and beverage car.” There also will be live entertainment on board to further enhance the views out of the train car windows. One thing guests are always amazed

to know, Springsdorf added, is that most of the people they see working on the train are volunteers. “Our world would not exist without our volunteers,” she said. TRAIN ADMIRATION After the fall color season is over for the trains, the Steam Railroading Institute will celebrate the 75th anniversary of the Pere Marquette 1225 train on Nov. 5 with a three-hour excursion departing directly from the institute in Owosso and traveling to Clare, Mich. On November 18, the yearly launch of the Polar Express train (“the real Polar Express,” Springsdorf said) kicks off. This full schedule offers train aficionados plenty of opportunities to ride. The packed seasonal schedule suits Springsdorf, who’s happiest when the SRI is busy. “I was born and raised in the train world,” she said, “so I love to stop in the vestibules and watch the world go by as we get to travel in areas that no one ever sees. I love the atmosphere and the stories of past memories or of the love of trains. That is always my favorite part. Everything we do is in an effort to keep history alive.” For more information about the SRI (Steam Railroading Institute), its train excursions, and where to buy tickets, visit michigansteamtrain. com or call (989)-399-7589. Photos courtesy of Sister Studio, Cadillac


Marc Cohn’s

Journey To Memphis and Beyond

“Put on my blue suede shoes and I boarded the plane … touched down in the land of the Delta Blues, in the middle of the pouring rain …”

By Kristi Kates

S

o begins singer-songwriter Marc Cohn’s huge 1991 hit song, “Walking in Memphis,” the song inspired by Cohn’s own journey to that very city in the mid-‘80s, where he has said he became “baptized in the world of Blues” when he was in his early 20s. As the lyrics of the song go, Cohn actually did set his feet on the famed Beale Street. He did go to see Reverend Green. He did meet a singer named Muriel at a club called The Hollywood Cafe. And the song that evolved from that trip did change Cohn’s life. “It’s really my calling card. I’m so grateful. I don’t even feel like the song is just mine any more,” Cohn said. “The fact that it’s resonated with so many people for so long means so much.” The real-life character of Muriel, Cohn explained, was something of a guide for him on that early visit to the Tennessee music hub. “She invited me up on stage with her,” he recollected. “A Jewish kid from Cleveland, up on stage in Memphis to

sing gospel songs, and I knew none of them! She was saying the lyrics in my ear as I was singing. After I sang, she whispered to me, ‘I think you can let go now — go home and write the songs you are meant to write.’” The encounter had a profound effect on Cohn. After he wrote “Walking in Memphis,” he returned to Memphis to find Muriel. “She never got to hear the final version of that song; she died five months before it was released,” he said. But he did get to see her again, and he played her a rough version of that track, along with some other songs. “When I asked her what she thought of them, she said, ‘You know the one you mentioned me in? That’s the best one,’” he recounted with a laugh. “She was an unknown local hero of Memphis. She changed my life.” Cohn had spent years demoing songs for other musicians before getting a break for his own music and getting signed to Atlantic Records. “Early on I mostly did singing for other people,” he said. “I was so lucky when I first moved to New York City. I sang for Jim-

my Webb, [composers] Leiber and Stoller, so many others. I’d lived in Los Angeles prior to that for three years, trying to make something happen, and I never found the center of music there. I’m not sure there is one in L.A.! It still took a while to get signed once I got to New York, but things became easier.” Today, Cohn is eight albums into his career. A couple of standouts include his sophomore studio effort, The Rainy Season, on which he collaborated with the great Bonnie Raitt, and his 2010 covers album, Listening Booth: 1970. “The second album is my favorite,” Cohn said. “And don’t get me started on Bonnie! I love her as a person, and I think she’s actually one of our best singers. I’ve opened over 50 shows for her over the past few years, and watching her perform is like a master class in pretty much everything.” The covers album, he added, was the most fun to make so far. “It was neat because we decided to focus on cover songs all from one year,” Cohn said. “We didn’t think anyone had done that before.” His latest album, Careful What You

Dream: Lost Songs and Rarities (March 2016), required Cohn to dig deep into his own back catalog. “It’s been 25 years since my first record came out, and I’ve been celebrating that in a variety of ways,” he said. “I thought it would be interesting to find demos of the original songs from that album, so I dug them up. But what I didn’t expect to find was a treasure trove of old songs that I’d forgotten about.” The demos album is serving as a something of a placeholder until Cohn’s next album. He said he spends so much time on the road, it can be tough to schedule in stu-dio time. “It’s not unusual for me to have big gaps between albums,” he said. “Touring for me is never-ending. I’m constantly leaving and coming back. But it really has been a while since I’ve put out a new album … so I’ll be working on that.” Marc Cohn will be in concert at the City Opera House in Traverse City on Tuesday, Sept. 27 at 7:30pm. For tickets and more information, visit city-operahouse.org or call 231-941-8082.

Northern Express Weekly • september 26, 2016 • 21


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NORTHERN SEEN 1 Graham Cycles owner Joe Graham checks out the latest fresh goods at the Boyne City Farmers Market with Emily Hughes. 2 K-9 Officer Ben Speigl and Ezo take a second to pose during the “Hometown Heroes” event at a recent Charlevoix Farmers Market.

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3 Special guest and bestselling author Judith Guest and Kristen Jongen at a recent screenwriting seminar in Traverse City. 4 Kerry Gartland and Rick Robinson of Kitchen Choreography enjoying the Home and Cottage fall home tour. 5 Sherri Fenton and Rick Summers at the Traverse Health Clinic Fundraiser at Fox Motors in TC. 6 Donna Hayden and Stephanie Sutton are all smiles at Charlevoix’s Roadhouse 757 during the Chamber’s Business After Hours. 7 Candy Smith and Ted Rex were the lucky winners of tickets to an upcoming Castle Farms event during the Charlevoix Chamber’s Business After Hours.

22 • september 26, 2016 • Northern Express Weekly


sept 24

saturday

sept/oct

FROM THE OUTSIDE IN: Live original music with Los Vimanas & Becoming Human wsg Fuzzbuster. 7pm, InsideOut Gallery, TC. $5. 929-3254.

24-02

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RIVER’S END BLOCK PARTY: The Little Fleet, TC, 4-10:30pm. An outdoor block party with music by Congress, Pink Lightning & Mega Weedge: a WEEN Tribute Band; local food & beer, a gypsy market, games & more. Tickets: $10 advance, $15 door. mynorthtickets.com

send your dates to: events@traverseticker.com

-------------------ALDEN MEN’S CLUB BREAKFAST MEETING: 8am, Alden Methodist Church. Will review the upcoming Harvest Dinner scheduled for Oct. 8. aldenmensclub.org

-------------------WELCOME HOME BAR-B-QUE: For Vietnam era veterans. 3pm, U.S. Coast Guard Station, TC. RSVP: eventbrite.com

-------------------AUTHOR SIGNING: With Valerie Joan Connors, author of “A Better Truth.” 2-4pm, Horizon Books, TC. horizonbooks.com

-------------------EAST JORDAN FALL FESTIVAL: Held in Downtown East Jordan & East Jordan Tourist Park. Enjoy the Leaf Peeker Craft Show, pumpkin bowling, balloon artist Twister Joe, hay art, live music, a softball tournament, kids can trick-or-treat, & more. ejchamber.org

-------------------LEAF PEEKER CRAFT SHOW: 9am-3pm, East Jordan Civic Center/Community Center & Main St. ejchamber.org

-------------------GT AREA ROCK & MINERAL CLUB SHOW: 10am-5pm, Carnegie Building, TC. Admission, $2. tcrockhounds.com

-------------------DETROIT RED WINGS TRAINING CAMP: Sept. 23-26, Centre Ice Arena, TC. centreice.org

-------------------THE BIG DRAW – GRAND TRAVERSE: 1-4pm, Jordan River Arts Council, East Jordan. Visit the Leaf Peeper Festival in East Jordan for sidewalk chalk art. dennosmuseum.org/big-draw

-------------------FRIENDS OF THE JORDAN RIVER WATERSHED 12TH ANNUAL CELEBRATION: Celebrate the 12th Annual “Visions of the Valley” photo contest winners & see the 2017 calendar. 1-3pm, Friends of the Jordan River Watershed, East Jordan. friendsofthejordan.org

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BIKE YOUR PARK DAY: Meet at the Hall Street Bus Station at 9:15am to take the 9:30am BATA Bike-Bus to Glen Arbor. Or just meet at Cherry Republic, Glen Arbor at 10:40am. Bike to Glen Haven to explore the beaches & museums, plus more. Info: Find ‘Norte! Goes To Sleeping Bear’ on Facebook.

-------------------LEELANAU UNCAGED STREET FESTIVAL: Noon-10pm, Downtown Northport. Streets are closed to host musical performers including Grupo Aye, Wild Sullys, One Music, Jeff Haas Trio, Fresh Fossils, Little Bang Theory & many others; art, food & dance. leelanauuncaged.com

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33RD CHARLEVOIX COUNTY CROP WALK: This 5K begins at 9am at three different locations in East Jordan, Boyne City & Charlevoix. Proceeds go to local food pantries to help combat hunger. 231-536-3128.

“A Touch of Fall” by Thomas Legault is one of the many pieces of art that will be on display at Twisted Fish Gallery during Elk Rapids Art Beat: Fall Art Splendor on Sat., Oct. 1. from 10am-5pm. This open house gallery walk also includes The Blue Heron Gallery & Mullaly’s 128 Gallery. In addition there will be painting demonstrations & music by Randy Reszka. business.elkrapidschamber.org pumpkin decorating, pony rides, Wings of Wonder live raptor show, Classic Car & Tractor Show, & more. A portion of the proceeds benefit the Williamsburg Emergency Services Auxiliary & Acme Firefighters Association. DiscoverAcme.com

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AUTUMN ART COLLECTIVE: 10am-4pm, Pine Hill Village Gardens, TC. Featuring the work of local artisans, musicians, wines & farmers. 231-599-2824.

-------------------FALL CRAFT SHOW: 10am-4pm, Bear Lake Christian Church, Kalkaska. 231-258-6107. bearlakechristianchurch.org

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TC STATE PARK BEACH CLEAN-UP: 9-11am, 1132 US-31 N. Meet at the playground. Presented by The Watershed Center GT Bay & the Alliance for the Great Lakes. Register: gtbay.org

-------------------THE VISIONARY 5K CHALLENGE: 9am, Vasa Pathway Headwaters Trail, Williamsburg. Proceeds benefit the NALS of MI Scholarship Program. active.com

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18TH ANNUAL HARVEST FESTIVAL: Featuring a brew tent, live music by The Honorable Spirits & others, a craft & flea market, zany scarecrows, Best Dressed Pet Parade, & more in Bellaire from 10am-6pm. bellairechamber.com

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Old Town Playhouse, MainStage Theatre, TC. Tickets: $15-$28. mynorthtickets.com

-------------------THE FOUR FRESHMEN: Masters of Harmony. 7:30pm, The Opera House, Cheboygan. Tickets: $30 adults, $10 students. theoperahouse.org

sept sunday 25

ORGAN CONCERT: With Dr. James Kibbie. 3pm, First Congregational Church, TC. Free will offering. 947-6698.

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MANISTEE CIVIC PLAYERS AUDITIONS: For “A Christmas Story, The Musical.” 5-8pm, Ramsdell Theatre, Manistee. manisteecivicplayers.org

-------------------BEAUTY IN ART: An artist talk with Richard Kooyman. 1pm, Oliver Art Center, Frankfort. oliverartcenterfrankfort.org

-------------------JAZZ AT SUNSET: With the Jeff Haas Trio. 3-5:30pm, Chateau Chantal, TC. chateauchantal.com

-------------------GT AREA ROCK & MINERAL CLUB SHOW: 11am-4pm, Carnegie Building, TC. Admission, $2. tcrockhounds.com

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HOPS ‘N HIGHLANDS MICROBREW FESTIVAL: 45+ Michigan breweries & 175 microbrews. 1-6pm, Boyne Highlands. boyne.com

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COUNTRY DANCE: Held at Summit City Grange, Kingsley, there will be a 6pm ham sandwich dinner & a dance from 7-10pm. Live music, donation. 231-263-4499.

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TASTE OF HARBOR SPRINGS: Local restaurants, delis & gourmet shops all for a good cause. 12-3pm, Downtown Harbor Springs. Tickets: $25 advance, $35 day of. 231-526-7999.

SUNDAY SERIES RECITAL: The Great Lakes Chamber Orchestra presents “From a Whisper to a Roar: The Many Colors of Percussion.” 4-5:30pm, First Congregational United Church of Christ, Charlevoix. glcorchestra.org

“LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS”: Sci-fi horror musical with a 1960’s pop/rock score. 7:30pm,

“LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS”: Sci-fi horror musical with a 1960’s pop/rock score. 2pm, Old

GO WEST: Starring Buster Keaton with Dale & Gail Zieger. 5:30-7pm, Music House Museum, Williamsburg. $15 adults, $13 seniors & $5 students. musichouse.org

EMPIRE HILL CLIMB: A wide variety of race cars will be racing for the best time up the hill on Wilco Rd. in Empire from 9am-5pm. empirehillclimb.com

SEVENTH ANNUAL ACME FALL FESTIVAL: 10am-4pm, Flintfields Horse Park, Williamsburg. Featuring a craft show, live demonstrations,

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DETROIT RED WINGS TRAINING CAMP: Sept. 23-26, Centre Ice Arena, TC. centreice.org

-------------------THE BIG DRAW – GRAND TRAVERSE: Noon-2pm, The Little Fleet, TC. Chalk Art Jam. dennosmuseum.org/big-draw

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Northern Express Weekly • september 26, 2016 • 23


7TH ANNUAL GREAT LAKES GLASS PUMPKIN PATCH DAY OCTOBER 1ST

sept/oct

24-02

AT THREE PINES STUDIO & BOYER GLASSWORKS

11am – 7pm (Both Locations)

Featuring hundreds of hand-blown glass pumpkins crafted by local glass artists, Harry Boyer and Lynn Dinning. Wander through a dazzling array of one-of-a-kind glass pumpkins in a variety of colors, shapes, sizes and price ranges. These glass art pumpkins are perfect for the autumn season, yet beautiful enough to display year-round. Come pick the perfect pumpkin for yourself or as a gift. The Pumpkin Patch will be set up in the gardens outside and inside at Boyer Glassworks and Three Pines Studio. Pumpkins not purchased on the 1st will be available throughout the fall season. THREE PINES STUDIO 5959 West Levering Cross Village, MI 49723 231.526.9447 threepinesstudio.com BOYER GLASSWORKS 207 State Street Harbor Springs, MI 49740 231.526.6359 boyerglass@gmail.com At Three Pines Studio 2-5pm

Town Playhouse, MainStage Theatre, TC. Tickets: $15-$28. mynorthtickets.com

sept monday 26

ROOTED IN IRON & ICE: Presented by Gary Barfknecht at the Carnegie Building, Petoskey at 7pm. petoskeylibrary.org

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POETS MEET MUSICIANS: 7-9pm, Acoustic Taproom, TC. 231-392-6121.

-------------------OTP YOUNG CO. AUDITIONS: For Shakespeare’s “Much Ado About Nothing” & a children’s classic. 4-6pm, Schmuckal Theatre, lower level of the Old Town Playhouse, TC. oldtownplayhouse.com

-------------------OTP AUDITIONS: For “Peter and the Starcatcher.” 7pm, Schmuckal Theatre, lower level of the Old Town Playhouse, TC. oldtownplayhouse.com

-------------------DETROIT RED WINGS TRAINING CAMP: Sept. 23-26, Centre Ice Arena, TC. centreice.org

-------------------MANISTEE CIVIC PLAYERS AUDITIONS: For “A Christmas Story, The Musical.” 7-10pm, Ramsdell Theatre, Manistee. manisteecivicplayers.org

sept tuesday 27 -----------OTP Auditions: (See Mon., Sept. 26)

Sponsored by Three Pines Studio and Boyer Glassworks

Chip Carving by Dawson Moore

Music by Melissa Welke

FRIENDLY GARDEN CLUB MEETING: 12:15pm, First Congregational Church, TC. Guest speaker is Jeanine Rubert, owner of Pine Hill Nursery, who will talk about putting your garden to sleep for the winter. 231-271-6831.

-------------------MANISTEE CIVIC PLAYERS AUDITIONS: (See Mon., Sept. 26)

-------------------CONNECTING WOMEN IN BUSINESS LUNCHEON: Featuring the Go Grant Recipients, who will talk about their spring & summer activities & will share their experiences. Takes place at the Petoskey Bay View Country Club with registration & networking at 11:30am, & the luncheon & presentation at noon. $15 CWIB members or $20 not-yet-members. Advanced registration required: 231-347-4150.

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COFFEE @ TEN, PETOSKEY: Brad Kik of Crosshatch Center for Art and Ecology asks how our small communities can thrive in the face of some complicated & frightening global problems. 10am, Gilbert Gallery, Crooked Tree Arts Center, Petoskey. Free. crookedtree.org

-------------------COFFEE @ TEN, TC: Crooked Tree’s Kaleigh James will give a presentation on impressionism & post-impressionism. 10am, Crooked Tree Arts Center, TC. Free. crookedtree.org

-------------------RECORD EAGLE 2 MILE CHAMPIONSHIPS: Starts in front of the Traverse City Record-Eagle at 6:30pm. $25 for pre-registration & $30 day of. A portion of the proceeds benefit the TART Trails. re2milechampionships.com

-------------------MARC COHN: This Grammy-award winning singer-songwriter celebrates the 25th anniversary of his platinum debut album. He is known for songs such as “Walking in Memphis” & “True Companion.” 7:30pm, City Opera House, TC. Tickets: $20, $32.50. cityoperahouse.org

sept wednesday 28

PARKINSON’S NETWORK NORTH DAY SUPPORT GROUP: 10am, TC Senior Center. parkinsonsnetworknorth.org

24 • september 26, 2016 • Northern Express Weekly

BUSINESS SHOWCASE: 4-7pm, Otsego County Sportsplex, Gaylord. Network to learn about the services & products from over 90 Chamber members. ocsportsplex.com

-------------------CLIMATE & HEALTH – BIPARTISAN AGREEMENT COMING?: 5pm, Cheboygan Public Library. Join this discussion with Dr. Lisa Del Buono with Citizens’ Climate Lobby.

-------------------BUSINESS AFTER HOURS: 5:30pm, Long Lake Marina, Interlochen. interlochenchamber.org

-------------------THE TRAVERSE IT HAPPY HOUR: Local technology professionals are invited to Lucky Jack’s Billiards Room, Grawn from 5-7pm to enjoy free billiards, drinks & appetizers, compliments of Safety Net. Register: www.bit.ly/2deewAv

-------------------WOMAN TO WOMAN: 2016: Join Julianna Smoot, former White House Social Secretary, businesswoman, & advisor to President Obama for a conversation about the issues that affect women in the 2016 election. 5pm, City Opera House, TC. cityoperahouse.org

sept thursday 29

CANDIDATE FORUM: For the Board of Commissioner race in Districts 1, 6 & 7. Hosted by the League of Women Voters Leelanau County & the Leelanau Peninsula Chamber of Commerce at the Elmwood Township Firehall at 7pm. A meet & greet with the candidates will begin at 6:15pm. LWVLeelanau.org

-------------------“LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS”: Sci-fi horror musical with a 1960’s pop/rock score. 7:30pm, Old Town Playhouse, MainStage Theatre, TC. Tickets: $15-$28. mynorthtickets.com

-------------------RAFIA ZAKARIA: This attorney, journalist & human rights activist will speak on the intersection of politics, religion & gender in Pakistan through the lens of her book, “The Upstairs Wife.” 7pm, Darcy Library of Beulah. darcylibraryofbeulah.org

-------------------DINNER & A SHOW!: Starring Baffling Bill, the Magician. 5:30-8pm, Historic Elk Rapids Town Hall. Free, but you must have a ticket for admission; available at the Elk Rapids District Library. elkrapidslibrary.org

-------------------CONTEMPORARY BLACK POETRY PROJECT: The joys and tears of the Black experience are depicted in the storytelling of three award-winning poets ranging from ages 75 to 93. 7:30pm, City Opera House, TC. Tickets are complimentary, but reservations required. cityoperahouse.org

sept friday 30

LATE NIGHT FILMS: “The New World” (2005) will be shown at The Bay Theatre, Suttons Bay at 10pm. $5. thebaytheatre.com

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MANITOU WINDS PRESENTS “SUMMER FANTASIES”: A mix of classical, Celtic & folk music spanning centuries. 6pm, Oliver Art Center, Frankfort. Free. manitouwinds.com

-------------------“LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS”: (See Thurs., Sept. 29)

-------------------HARBOR SPRINGS FESTIVAL OF THE BOOK: Sept. 30 – Oct. 2. Featuring keynote addresses, panel discussions, educational programs, cookbook author events, readings, & book signings with authors, illustrators, and journalists. For schedule & info, visit: hsfotb.org

-------------------GERMANFEST: Enjoy German food, entertainment & dancing at Trinity Lutheran Church, TC from 6-11pm. Live music by Tommy Schober

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oct 01

saturday

“TO BRAZIL WITH LOVE: A Tribute to Antonio Jobim”: Presented by Younce Guitar Duo & vibraphonist Jim Cooper. 8pm, Historic Elk Rapids Town Hall. General admission: $15 advance, $20 door. brownpapertickets.com

-------------------AUTHOR SIGNINGS & READING: 10am6pm, Horizon Books, TC. horizonbooks.com

-------------------“PROTECTING VILLAGERS: Violent Conflict & Forced Migration”: With Dr. Prakash Adhikari of CMU. 7pm, Trinity Church of the United Church of Christ, Northport. 231-342-5763.

-------------------REMEMBRANCE RUN: 5K & 1-mile race/walk/ run at Timber Ridge Resort, TC at 10am. There will be a health fair from 8-11am, adventure obstacle course at 9am, & more. Cost, $35. Proceeds benefit Munson’s Women’s Cancer Fund. remembrancerun.com

-------------------THE HARRY GOLDSON ENSEMBLE: Enjoy live jazz at the W.T. Best Theater, Old Art Building, Leland at 7:30pm. A reception will be held at 7pm. Goldson’s musical roots go back to Chicago’s West Side during the 1930’s. Tickets, $20. oldartbuilding.com

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SLEEPING BEAR MARATHON: This scenic marathon & half marathon take place in Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore. The out-andback marathon course will take runners by the “Dune Climb,” past Little Glen Lake, & through the village of Glen Arbor with views of the Manitou Islands & Sleeping Bear Dunes along the way. All races start at Lake MI Beach Park; marathon at 7:30am, half marathon at 8:30am, & 5K at 8:40am. enduranceevolution.com

-------------------EMPIRE HOPS FESTIVAL: Noon-10pm, Front St. in Empire between Union & La Rue Streets. Featuring local foods, brews & music by Jackpine, Black Jake & the Carnies, & The Benzie Playboys. $15 entry fee includes a glass & drink tickets. empirechamber.com

-------------------“LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS”: (See Thurs., Sept. 29)

-------------------FALLFEST IN BEULAH/BENZONIA: Featuring complimentary food & wine samplings, fall soup contest, Pat Harrison - “Lord of Gourd” carvings, pumpkin decorating, classic vehicle & motorcycle “Park & Shine” Show, Historical Walking Tour of Benzonia, horse drawn wagon rides, & much more. visitbenzie.com

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ELK RAPIDS ART BEAT: Fall Art Splendor. 10am-5pm. This open house gallery walk includes The Blue Heron Gallery, Mullaly’s 128 Gallery & The Twisted Fish Gallery. There will also be painting demonstrations & music by Randy Reszka. business.elkrapidschamber.org

-------------------SKI SWAP: 9am-2pm, Nub’s Nob, Harbor Springs. Presented by the Harbor Springs Ski Boosters from 9am-2pm. Info: hsskiteam.com

-------------------LITTLE TRAVERSE HALF MARATHON & 10K: 8am. Half marathon starts at Little Traverse Wheelway, Bay Harbor. 10K starts at Petoskey State Park. outfitterharborsprings.com

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13TH ANNUAL DOWNTOWN PETOSKEY SHOPPING SCRAMBLE: 9am-5pm. Info: petoskeydowntown.com

-------------------8TH ANNUAL SKITOBERFEST: Held at Boyne Mountain, Boyne Falls, this event includes guest speaker Nick Goepper, 2014 Olympic bronze medalist & three-time Winter X Games gold medalist; a winter expo, MI beer, wine & spirits tasting, music, dance & theater

performances, free chairlift rides, hay rides, a petting zoo, horse & pony rides, the Pond Pedal, Rail Jam, parade & much more. Admission is free. boyne.com

-------------------HARBOR SPRINGS FESTIVAL OF THE BOOK: (See Fri., Sept. 30)

-------------------RIDE FOR DIGNITY: Over 70 riders will bike a relaxed 16 mile ride along the Leelanau TART Trail between TC & Suttons Bay. Presented by Northwest Michigan Supportive Housing in an effort to increase funds to provide permanent supportive housing for homeless individuals & families struggling with a mental illness. Registration ($40) takes place at 10:30am in the parking lot of Larkin Group, TC. Includes lunch at Hop Lot Brewery. nmshousing.org

-------------------BIG DRAW DAY: Kick off a STEAM-themed Big Draw 2016 with this all-day event at Dennos Museum Center, NMC, TC from noon – 4pm. Meet artist Jean Larson & check out her exhibition, & try a variety of arts & science activities. dennosmuseum.org

Thank you to God and all of our Patrons

Plath’s Meats CHOICE NEW YORK STRIPS, RIBEYES, TOP SIRLOIN, FILET MIGNON & LONDON BROIL STEAKS. (CUT FRESH TO ORDER) EPH 2:7-9

15 VARIETIES OF HOT DOGS & BRATS

BLEU CHEESE & APPLE or HABANERO CHEESE & MANGO BRATS SMOKED BUFFALO SMOKED PORK LOIN • HAMS & PORK SAUSAGE DOGS FISH BACON • SAUSAGES • SMOKED

Mon -

Ladies Night - $1 off

drinks & $5 martinis w/ Jukebox

Tues - $2 well drinks & shots OPEN MIC W/HOST CHRIS STERR Wed - Get it in the can for $1

with DJ DomiNate

Thurs - MI beer night $1 off all MI beer w/Skin & Friends (90’s Hip Hop Show)

Friday Sept 30: Happy Hour: Joe Wilson Trio

Then: ELECTRIC RED Saturday Oct 1:

ELECTRIC RED Sunday Oct 2 :

KARAOKE

941-1930 downtown TC check us out at unionstreetstationtc.net

-------------------GOPHERWOOD CONCERT: Featuring a house concert with Seth Bernard at 4320 E 46 Rd., Cadillac at 8pm. Tickets: $6-$12. mynorthtickets.com

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EBT Cards accepted

HARVEST FEST 2016 – 17TH ANNUAL HARVEST DAY: Noon-4pm, Chateau Chantal, TC. Smell wine, stomp grapes & tour. Free admission. chateauchantal.com

-------------------HAPPY APPLE DAYS & FALL SALE: Enjoy great sales & apples in Downtown TC from 1-3pm. www.downtowntc.com

-------------------SLOW PADDLE: Presented by Paddle Antrim at Thurston Park, Central Lake at 2pm. Bring your own paddle craft & personal floatation device. Free. paddleantrim.com

-------------------6TH ANNUAL EXHIBIT: New paintings by Lynn Uhlmann, Angela Saxon, Royce Deans & Anne Corlett at the Old Art Building, Leland from 10am-8pm. An opening reception will be held tonight from 5-8pm. oldartbuilding.com

www.PlathsMeats.com 2200 East Mitchell Rd., Petoskey, MI p. 231-348-8100

-------------------FREE FALL FUN: Pick a pumpkin, & enjoy hayrides, games, crafts, food & more. 3-6pm, First Congregational Church, TC. fcctc.org

-------------------THREE MEN AND A TENOR: American pop music. 8pm, Beaver Island Community Center Theatre. Tickets: $25; children 18 & under, $15. 231-448-2022.

-------------------STATE OF THE UNION: A new opera by Eugene Birman, performed by the Helsinki Chamber Choir. 7:30pm, Corson Auditorium, Interlochen Center for the Arts. Tickets, $30. interlochen.org

oct 02

sunday

FALL-TIME SOCIAL: Begins at noon at the Rex Dobson Ruby Ellen Farm, 5946 S. Center Hwy., Bingham Township, Leelanau County. Featuring a pig roast lunch, pie auction, horseshoe pitching, horse-drawn wagon rides, music with North Bay Celtic & Joe Bottenhorn & Friends, & more. $20 adults, $5 children ages 6-11. rubyellenfarm.org

-------------------13TH ANNUAL HARVEST DAYS CELEBRATION: 1-4pm, Samels Farm, 8298 Skegemog Point Rd., Williamsburg. Press fresh cider, bob for apples, watch the blacksmith shape tools, dance to music by Hammer’d, ride an old fashioned farm wagon, & more. Also featuring local author Bob Campbell. Free. samelsfarm.org

-------------------CLAUDE BOURBON: This Medieval & Spanish Blues guitarist comes all the way from England. 7pm, Sleder’s Family Tavern, TC. Tickets: $15 advance, $20 door. 947-9213.

Northern Express Weekly • september 26, 2016 • 25


10TH ANNUAL HARVEST FESTIVUS: Noon6pm, Left Foot Charley, TC. Featuring fresh cider, wine tasting, German Oompah music, horsedrawn wagon rides, & more. leftfootcharley.com

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THE SWEET WATER WARBLERS: Featuring May Erlewine, Rachael Davis & Lindsay Lou. 7pm, The Bay Theatre, Suttons Bay. Tickets: $18 advance, $22 door. mynorthtickets.com

-------------------TRIBUTE TO FRANK SINATRA: Featuring Rick Stewart. With the Bay Area Big Band. 3pm, First Congregational Church, TC. Tickets, $15$20: bayareamusicfoundation.org

-------------------ALDEN HARVEST CLASSIC CAR SHOW: 11am-3pm, Downtown Alden. 616-928-1298.

-------------------“LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS”: Sci-fi horror musical with a 1960’s pop/rock score. 2pm, Old Town Playhouse, MainStage Theatre, TC. Tickets: $15-$28. mynorthtickets.com

-------------------SUTTON FOSTER: Tony award-winning actor, singer & dancer has been called “The New Ethel Merman” (Vanity Fair). 7pm, City Opera House, TC. Tickets start at $35. cityoperahouse.org

-------------------HARBOR SPRINGS FESTIVAL OF THE BOOK: (See Fri., Sept. 30)

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6TH ANNUAL EXHIBIT: New paintings by Lynn Uhlmann, Angela Saxon, Royce Deans & Anne Corlett at the Old Art Building, Leland from 11am3pm. oldartbuilding.com

GROW BENZIE FARMERS MARKET: Mondays through Oct. 3, 3-7pm, 5885 Frankfort Highway, Benzonia. growbenzie.org

-------------------ELK RAPIDS FARMERS MARKET: Fridays, 8am-noon, Rotary Park. Over 40 local vendors offer fresh produce, plants & baked goods. elkrapidschamber.org

-------------------ALDEN FARMERS MARKET: Thursdays, Tennis Court Park, 4-8pm. visitalden.com

-------------------FRANKFORT FARMERS MARKET: Saturdays, Main St., Frankfort, 9am-1pm. 231-325-2220.

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KALKASKA FARMERS MARKET: Held at Railroad Square in downtown Kalkaska on Tuesdays through Oct. 11, 2-6pm. 231-384-1027.

-------------------INTERLOCHEN FARMERS MARKET: Interlochen Shopping Center, big parking lot behind Ric’s, Interlochen Corners, 9am-2pm, every Sun. facebook.com/interlochenfarmersmarket

-------------------BLISSFEST JAM SESSIONS: Every Sun., 1-4pm, Red Sky Stage, Petoskey. Bring your instruments or just sing along or listen. www. redskystage.com.

art

ongoing

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BETTY BEA WASHBURN: This professional watercolor artist will have an art show on display at Bellaire Library from Sept. 21-30. 231-533-8814.

THE BIG DRAW - GRAND TRAVERSE: ACTIVITIES THROUGH OCT. SCHEDULE: dennosmuseum.org

-------------------YOGA 1-2: With Kelly Stiglich 500-ERYT at GT Circuit, TC on Tuesdays at 5:30pm. $10 suggested donation. gtcircuit.org

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CLUB ONE’S “LOSS & GRIEF” SERIES: Free program is sponsored by East Bay Family Dentistry & is composed of 12 different sessions divided into a variety of fitness classes, from yoga to cycling. “Work It Out” at Club One, TC. Runs through Oct. 15. For info Robin@clubonetc.com

-------------------CEMETERY TOURS: The Traverse Area Historical Society will conduct these walking tours of Oakwood Cemetery, TC at 4pm on Oct. 2 & 9. Cost, $10; proceeds benefit the Historical Society. Meet on the sidewalk outside the cemetery at the corner of Eighth St. & Steele 15 minutes before start time. 941-8440.

-------------------ADOPTION SATURDAYS: Pets Naturally, TC hosts one dog & one cat from the Cherryland Humane Society on Saturdays from 11am-2pm. www.petsnaturallytc.com

-------------------PETOSKEY FARMS VINEYARD & WINERY: Open to the community every Thurs. from 5:308:30pm through Sept. Enjoy the outdoor patio with food & wine available to purchase & live music. petoskeyfarms.com

-------------------THE VILLAGE OUTDOOR FARMERS MARKET: On the Piazza at The Village at GT Commons, TC on Mondays through Oct. from 12-4pm. www.thevillagetc.com

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26 • september 26, 2016 • Northern Express Weekly

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“FANTASY MASQUES: What’s Hidden, What’s Revealed”: This multi-media exhibition by Carole Steinberg Berk is shown at the Leelanau Township Library, Northport through Oct. 31. carolesteinbergberk.com

HEALTHY COOKING ON A BUDGET: This free six-week class offered by Love In the Name of Christ begins on Sept. 26. Register: 941-5683.

For tickets, visit www.groundworkcenter.org or call the MyNorthTickets box office at (800) 836-0717

DOWNTOWN PETOSKEY FARMERS MARKET: Fridays through Sept. 30, 8:30am-1pm. petoskeydowntown.com

SARA HARDY DOWNTOWN FARMERS MARKET: Farmers & gardeners from around the local region bring their fresh produce, flowers & baked goods to this Downtown Farmers Market located between Cass & Union streets, across from Clinch Park, TC. Held on Wednesdays from 8am-noon, & Saturdays from 7:30am-noon through Oct. www.downtowntc.com

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--------------------------------------RARE THREADS: Ancestral Inspirations Exhibit: Through Oct. 23, Jordan River Arts Center, East Jordan. jordanriverarts.com

-------------------STUDIO ONE 6: Sept. Artists of the Month in the upper level of the Visitor Center at The Botanic Garden at Historic Barns Park, TC. Artists include Sue Bowerman, Ann Robinson, Ruth Kitchen, Laura Swire & many others. thebotanicgarden.org

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ARTIST-MADE HOLIDAY ORNAMENT EXHIBITION: Created by eight area makers. Held through Oct. 9 at Center Gallery, Glen Arbor. 231-334-3179.

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“A RURAL PERSPECTIVE”: Paintings by Alan Maciag, who is known for his landscape & plein air paintings. Runs through Sept. at Twisted Fish Gallery, Elk Rapids. twistedfishgallery.com

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2016 ALL-MEDIA JURIED EXHIBITION: Runs through Oct. 15 at Oliver Art Center, Frankfort. oliverartcenterfrankfort.org

-------------------THREE PINES STUDIO, CROSS VILLAGE: - “Fellow Travelers: Large & Small”: Sculptures by Doug Melvin. - Letters: Words with Friends: This all media exhibition is held in support of the Harbor Springs Festival of the Book. Runs through Nov. 1. threepinesstudio.com

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CROOKED TREE ARTS CENTER, PETOSKEY: - Summer Artisans Market: Fridays through Sept. 30, 9am-1pm on the Bidwell Plaza. Artisans will sell their work & provide demonstrations. - SOLILOQUY: Detroit Society of Women Painters & Sculptors: Through Nov. 19, Gilbert Gallery. - More Than a Framer: Remembering the Life & Work of Trude Bigelow Croff: Runs Sept. 24 – Oct. 8 in the Carnegie Building. A reception will be held on Sat., Sept. 24 from 3-5pm. - Back to School: CTAC Teachers’ Exhibition: Runs Oct. 1 – Jan. 7 in the Atrium Gallery. An opening reception will be held on Sat., Oct. 1 from 2-4pm. crookedtree.org

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CROOKED TREE ARTS CENTER, TC: - A Walk Through Michigan Seasons: Featuring landscape artists Alan Maciag, Margie Guyot & Lori Feldpausch. Runs through Dec. 3. crookedtree.org

-------------------DENNOS MUSEUM CENTER, NMC, TC: - Permanence & Impermanence: Iceland – a Land of Temporal Contrasts. By Jean Larson. Runs through Dec. 31. - Grandmother Power: A Global Phenomenon: The works of renowned photographer Paola Gianturco. Runs through Dec. 31. dennosmuseum.org


CHILL WITH BASTILLE, NOFX, BEARTOOTH IN DETROIT Freedom Hill Amphitheater in Sterling Heights is the place; Sept. 30 is the date for the massive 89X Chill on the Hill, the annual end-of-summer music event put on by 89X radio (CIMX-FM) in Detroit. This year’s lineup is heavy on the rock, with performances set from Bastille, Billy Talent, Beartooth, NOFX, Smashing Satellites, Run River North, Pierce the Veil, and The Used. Singer-songwriter Gavin DeGraw (“I Don’t Wanna Be”) has a brand new album out; DeGraw’s Something Worth Saving just hit outlets this week, with the first single, “She Sets the City on Fire,” already making its way to radio. Elsewhere on the set, which DeGraw calls “versatile,” is a mix of pop, country, and reggae. DeGraw is already out on a co-headlining North American tour with fellow singer-songwriter Andy Grammer to promote the new set … Singer-songwriter Conor Oberst, familiar to most from his Bright Eyes projects, is prepping for his first tour of 2017, launched in support of his new solo album, Ruminations, which hits outlets on Oct. 14. Ruminations, the follow-up to Oberst’s 2014 album, Upside Down

MODERN

ROCK BY KRISTI KATES

Mountain, was recorded at Oberst’s own studio, ARC, in Omaha, Neb., and he’ll support the set with that tour, which will include performances in Germany, Austria, France, and England; Oberst’s overseas dates will be prefaced by a short series of North American dates that will include a stop at the Austin City Limits show on Oct. 8 … Electronica outfit The Orb also has a brand new album on the way Oct. 14, an experimental set that took the group only six months to write and record. Titled Cow/Chill Out World!, the album will serve as a sequel to The Orb’s last release, Moonbuilding 2703. The band takes their electronica on the road in October for shows in New York, NY (10/20), Atlanta (10/22), Seattle (10/26), and Denver (10/28) … MODERN ROCK LINK OF THE WEEK: Just in time for sweater weather arrives the buzz about new-ish artist Sweater Beats, aka Antonio Cuna, the innovative Filipino-via-Maryland artist who blends influences as diverse as Timbaland and Daft Punk into a dance music/R&B stew. Check out his novel new sound at his official website, sweaterbeats.com, and become a fan before he embarks on his debut tour next year …

MINI BUZZ: Icelandic indie darlings Sigur Ros will be in concert at Detroit’s Fox Theatre on Oct. 1 … OneRepublic and Ryan Tedder have completed work on the band’s fourth studio album, which Tedder said is “the best work the band has ever done” … The ever-erratic LCD Soundsystem has cancelled its planned tour of Australia and Asia to focus on recording its next album instead … Oct. 1 also will find Warpaint live at Saint Andrew’s Hall in downtown Detroit, and The Mowgli’s over at The Pyramid Scheme in Grand Rapids … Beach Boy Brian Wilson has booked a

show at Detroit’s Fox Theatre for Sept. 30 … Also on Sept. 30, Ash will be in concert at The Shelter in downtown Detroit … Crystal Castles will play at Detroit’s Majestic Theater on Oct. 2 … And these bands’ newly released albums will be at a store or digital outlet near you this week … Bon Iver’s 22, A Million … Banks’ The Altar … Craig David’s Following My Intuition … Yello’s Toy … and Regina Spektor’s much-anticipated Remember Us to Life … and that’s the buzz for this week’s “Modern Rock.” Comments, questions, rants, raves, suggestions on this column? Send ’em to Kristi at modernrocker@gmail.com.

NEW! 50’ FREE FALL TOWER!

CANOPY TOUR

Y T I C E BOYN Feel the RUSH as you fly down our 11 zip lines and 5 sky bridges spanning over 1-1/2 miles. Tour the forest canopy with AWESOME views of Lake Charlevoix, or race your friends on the Midwest’s only 1,200-foot TRIPLE zip line. For reservations call 855.ZIP-INFO or visit WILDWOODRUSH.COM Located 2 miles from downtown Boyne City, across from Young State Park. Wildwood Rush is independently owned and operated, and is not affiliated with Boyne Mt. or Boyne Resorts

Northern Express Weekly • september 26, 2016 • 27


WINE & CIDER

HARVEST F E S T I V U S SUN.OCTOBER 2ND 12-6PM

FREE ALL DAY FALL FUN FOR ALL AGES! • Live music by The Northport Oompah Band • Free Horse Drawn Carriage Rides • Cider and Wine specials all day

FOURSCORE by kristi kates

Luke Bryan – Farm Tour: Here’s to the Farmer – Capitol Nashville

The latest in Luke Bryan’s series of yearly EPs serves as a companion of sorts to Bryan’s Farm Tour, during which he brings his music to small farming communities not on the usual touring circuit. But this isn’t a greatest-hits package; it’s actually five appealing new songs from the country artist, most notably the title track (“Here’s to the Farmer”), which lyrically sketches out a farmer’s daily duties, and “Southern Gentleman,” an amiable ballad about the virtues of old-fashioned manners.

Drake White – Spark – Dot Records With a title playing off of the name of his backing band, The Big Fire, the big-label debut of relative newcomer and Alabama native White finds him readily poised for a big stack of future success. Even this early in his career, he’s proved to be an adept anecdotist, delivering his vocal lines in a way that connects with individuals as much as with large audiences. This is especially effective during the traditional country feel of “Story,” the patience-finds-success tale of “Elvis,” and the sermonizing “Heartbeat.”

At The Village at Grand Traverse Commons 806 Red Dr, TC 231.995.0500 leftfootcharley.com

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Jake Owen – American Love – RCA Nashville

This is something of a strange album from Owen in that it seems to veer in several different directions, taking away from his usual cohesiveness. Owen’s new-country style has become well known as a dependably rollicking good time (see: “VW Van”), but on this album he often slams on the brakes for more deeply introspective numbers like “If He Ain’t Gonna Love You” and “LAX.” It’s not that one’s better or worse than the other — he’s actually decent at both — the trouble is in the jarring transitions between them.

Jason Aldean – They Don’t Know – Broken Bow Records

Aldean’s sound used to be well suited to a big arena country show, in large part due to the club beats and large doses of confidence he poured into each track. This set, however, seems to be something of a fallback; his vocal delivery has flattened out and placed him more squarely in the ranks of less-accomplished, more generic-sounding country artists. First single “Lights Come On” is sharp enough, but from there the album flounders.


nitelife

Sept 24-ocT 2

edited Julyby23 - 31 jamie kauffold

Send Nitelife to: events@traverseticker.com

Manistee, Wexford & Missaukee

• 522 - MANISTEE Tues. -- Karaoke Thurs., Fri., Sat. -- DJ • BUCKLEY BAR - BUCKLEY Fri. -- DJ Karaoke/Sounds - Duane & Janet • CADILLAC SANDS RESORT Porthole Pub & Eatery: Thurs. -- Live music

SandBar Niteclub: Fri. & Sat. -- Phattrax DJs Fri. -- Karaoke/linedancing, 8:30 Sat. -- Dance videos, 8:30 • COYOTE CROSSING - HOXEYVILLE Thurs. -- Open Mic Sat. -- Live Music • DOUGLAS VALLEY WINERY MANISTEE

Sun. -- Live music, 1:30-4:30pm • HI-WAY INN - MANISTEE Wild Weds. -- Karaoke Fri.-Sat. -- Karaoke/Dance • LOST PINES LODGE HARRIETTA Sat. -- Karaoke, dance videos • TJ'S PUB - MANISTEE 9/24 -- Fremont John, 7:30-10:30

Grand Traverse & Kalkaska • ACOUSTIC TAP ROOM - TC 9/24 -- Corbin Manikas, 7-9 9/26 -- Poets Meet Musicians, 7-9 • BUD'S - INTERLOCHEN Thurs. -- Jim Hawley, 5-8 • FANTASY'S - GRAWN Adult Entertainment w/ DJ • GT RESORT & SPA - ACME Lobby: 9/23-24 -- Blake Elliott, 7-11 9/30-10/1 -- Blake Elliott, 7-11 • HAYLOFT INN - TC Thurs. -- Open mic night by Roundup Radio Show, 8 Fri. - Sat. thru Sept. -- The Cow Puppies Fri. - Sat. thru Oct. -- Two Old Broads & 3 Buddies • HORIZON BOOKS - TC 9/30 -- Kat Eldred & Tim Burke, 8:30-10:30 • LEFT FOOT CHARLEY - TC 9/30 -- Zach Power, 6-8 10/2 -- 10th Annual Harvest Festivus w/ live oompah music from 1-3pm Mon. -- Open mic w/ Blake Elliott, 6-9 • LITTLE BOHEMIA - TC Tues. -- TC Celtic, 7-9 • NOLAN'S CIGAR BAR - TC 9/30 -- Windy Ridge Trio, 8-10 • NORTH PEAK - TC Kilkenny's, 9:30-1:30: 9/24 -- Jim Shaneberger Band 9/30 -- Bad Jam 10/1 -- Lou Thunder Mon. -- Team Trivia Night, 7-9; karaoke, 9-1 Tues. -- Levi Britton, 8-12 Weds. -- The Pocket, 8-12

Thurs. -- 2 Bays DJs, 9:301:30 Sun. -- Geeks Who Drink Trivia, 7-9 • PARK PLACE HOTEL - TC Beacon Lounge: Mon. -- Levi Britton, 8:30pm Thurs. - Sat. -- Tom Kaufmann • PARKSHORE LOUNGE - TC Fri. - Sat. -- DJ • RARE BIRD BREWPUB - TC Tues. -- Open mic night, 9 • SAIL INN - TC Thurs. & Sat. -- Phattrax DJs, karaoke, dance videos • SIDE TRAXX - TC Weds. -- Impaired Karaoke, 10 Fri.-Sat. -- DJ/VJ Mike King • SLEDER'S FAMILY TAVERN - TC 10/2 -- Claude Bourbon, 7 • STREETERS - TC Ground Zero: 9/24 -- The He Said/She Said Comedy Show w/ Jeremy Danley & Katrina Brown, 9 10/2 -- Chevelle w/ The Dead Dreads, 8 • STUDIO ANATOMY - TC 9/24 -- Acoustic Punk Show, 8 • TAPROOT CIDER HOUSE - TC Mon. -- Levi Britton, 7-9 Weds. -- Open mic, 7-10 Thurs. -- Acoustic G-Snacks, 7-10 Fri. -- Rob Coonrod, 8-10 Sat. -- Christopher Dark, 8-10 Sun. -- Kids open mic, 3 • THE FILLING STATION - TC 9/30 -- The Claudettes, 8 • THE INSIDEOUT GALLERY

- TC 9/24 --From the Outside In w/ Los Vimanas & Becoming Human wsg Fuzzbuster, 7 • THE LITTLE FLEET - TC 9/24 -- River's End Block Party w/ live music 10/1 -- Oktoberfest w/ live music Weds. -- Vinyl Night, 7-9 • THE OL' SOUL - KALKASKA Weds. -- David Lawston, 8-12 • THE WORKSHOP BREWING CO. - TC 9/24 -- Eric Engblade Trio, 8-11 9/30 -- Groove Plexus, 8-11 10/1 -- Elroy Meltzer, 8-11 Mon. -- Rotten Cherries Comedy Open Mic, 8-9:30 Weds. -- WBC Jazz Society Jam, 6-10 • TRATTORIA STELLA - TC Tues. -- Ron Getz, 6-9 • UNION STREET STATION - TC 9/24 -- DJ Funky Professor 9/25 -- Karaoke 9/26 -- Jukebox 9/27 -- Open mic w/ host Chris Sterr 9/28 -- DJ DomiNate 9/29 -- Skin & Friends 9/30 -- Happy hour w/ Joe Wilson Trio, then Electric Red 10/1 -- Electric Red • WEST BAY BEACH RESORT - TC Tues. -- Sweetwater Blues Night, 7-9:30 View: Thurs. -- Jazz, 7-9:30 Fri. -- DJ Veeda, 9-2 Sat. -- DJ Motaz, 9-2

Antrim & Charlevoix • BC TAPROOM -- BC 9/24 -- Josh Hall, 8-11 9/30 -- Ben Overbeek, 8-11 10/1 -- Eric Jaqua, 8-11 • BRIDGE STREET TAP ROOM - CHARLEVOIX 9/24 -- Jeff Bihlman, 8-11 9/25 -- Owen James, 7-10 9/27 -- Nelson Olstrom, 7-10 9/30 -- Eric Jaqua, 8-11 10/1 -- Chris Koury, 8-11 10/2 -- Michelle Chenard, 7-10 • CELLAR 152 - ELK RAPIDS

9/24 -- Abigail Stauffer & chellist, 6:30-10 • JORDAN INN - EAST JORDAN Tues. -- Open Mic w/ Cal Mantis, 7-11 Fri. & Sat. -- Live Music • MURRAY'S BAR & GRILL - EAST JORDAN Fri. & Sat. -- Live Music • QUAY RESTAURANT & TERRACE BAR CHARLEVOIX Weds. -- Live jazz, 7-10 • RED MESA GRILL BOYNE CITY

9/27 -- Blake Elliott & The Robinson Affair, 6-9 • SHORT'S BREWING CO. - BELLAIRE 9/24 -- Oktoberfest Celebration w/ The Hacky Turtles, 8:30 9/30 -- The Aimcriers, 8:30-11 10/1 -- Benjaman James, 8:30-11 • VASQUEZ' HACIENDA ELK RAPIDS Acoustic Tues. Open Jam, 6-9 Sat. -- Live music, 7-10

Chicago's The Claudettes will share their "blues-jazz-soul-punk-rockabilly-cartoon-music" at The Filling Station, TC on Friday, September 30 at 8pm.

Leelanau & Benzie • AURORA CELLARS - L.L. 9/25 -- Cabin Fever, 2-5 • BELLA FORTUNA NORTH L.L. Fri.-Sat. -- Bocce e DeRoche, 7-10 • BLACK STAR FARMS - SB Third Weds. of ea. mo. -- Jazz Café w/ Mike Davis & Steve Stargardt, 7-9 • DICK'S POUR HOUSE - L.L. Sat. -- Karaoke, 10-2 • HOP LOT BREWING CO. - SB 9/24 -- Mike Moran, 6-9 • JODI'S TANGLED ANTLER BEULAH Fri. -- Karaoke, 9-1 • LAKE ANN BREWING CO. 6:30:

9/27 -- Pat Niemisto & Friends, 6:30 • LAUGHING HORSE -THOMPSONVILLE 9/24 -- Liquorboxx, 9 Thurs. -- Karaoke, 9 • LEELANAU SANDS CASINO PESHAWBESTOWN Tues. -- 45th Parallel Polka Band, 12-4p • LUMBERJACK'S BAR & GRILL - HONOR Thurs., Fri., Sat. -- Phattrax DJs, karaoke, dance videos • MARTHA'S LEELANAU TABLE - SB Weds. -- The Windy Ridge Boys, 6-9

Sun. -- The Hot Biscuits, 6-9 • ROADHOUSE - BENZONIA Weds. -- Jake Frysinger, 5-8 • ST. AMBROSE CELLARS BENZONIA Tues. -- Cheryl Wolfram hosts open mic, 7-9 • STORMCLOUD BREWING CO. - FRANKFORT 9/24 -- Abigail Stauffer, 8-10 9/30 -- Chris & Patrick, 8-10 10/1 -- Dale Wicks, 8-10 • WESTERN AVE. GRILL GLEN ARBOR Fri. -- Open Mic Sat. -- Karaoke

Emmet & Cheboygan • BARREL BACK RESTAURANT WALLOON LAKE VILLAGE Weds. -- Michelle Chenard, 5-8 • BEARDS BREWERY - PETOSKEY Weds. -- "Beards on Wax" (vinyl only night spun by DJ J2xtrubl), 8-11 • CAFE SANTE - BOYNE CITY 9/24 -- Honesty Duo, 8-11 9/29 -- Nathan Towne, 5:30-9 9/30 -- The Shifties (Oktoberfest), 8-11 Mon. -- Nathan Bates, 6-9 • CITY PARK GRILL - PETOSKEY 9/24 -- Soul Patch, 10 9/27 -- Sean Bielby, 10 9/30 -- TurboPUP, 10 Sun. -- Trivia • DIXIE SALOON - MACKINAW CITY Thurs. -- Gene Perry, 9-1 Fri. & Sat. -- DJ • KEWADIN CASINO - SAULT STE. MARIE

DreamMaker's Theater: 9/24 -- Fleetwood Mac Mania!, 8 9/25 -- Fleetwood Mac Mania!, 4 Rapids Lounge: 9/23-24 -- Peril, 9 9/29 -- Comedy w/ Vince Acevedo, 9 9/30-10/1 -- 415E, 9 Signatures Lounge: Fri. -- Karaoke, 9 • KNOT JUST A BAR - BAY HARBOR Fri. -- Chris Martin, 7-10 • MOUNTAINSIDE GRILL - BOYNE CITY Fri. -- Ronnie Hernandez, 6-9 • MUSTANG WENDY'S - HARBOR SPRINGS 9/24 -- Michelle Chenard 9/25 -- Sydni Kann 9/29 -- Michelle Chenard 9/30 -- Bill Oeming 10/1 -- Nelson Olstrom • OASIS TAVERN - KEWADIN

Thurs. -- Bad Medicine, DJ Jesse James • ODAWA CASINO - PETOSKEY 9/24 -- The Down Home Group, 8 9/30 -- Charlie Reager, 8 10/1 -- Mother Brothers, 8 • PETOSKEY FARMS VINEYARD & WINERY Thurs. through Sept. -- Live music, 5:30-8:30 • PURPLE TREE COFFEE CHEBOYGAN Weds. -- Open mic, 5-7 • STAFFORD'S PERRY HOTEL PETOSKEY Noggin Room: 9/24 -- Billy Brandt Duo 9/30 -- Chris Coury 10/1 -- Zak Bunce • STAFFORD'S PIER RESTAURANT - HS Pointer Room: Thurs. - Sat. -- Carol Parker on piano

Otsego, Crawford & Central • ALPINE TAVERN - GAYLORD Sat.-- Mike Ridley, 7-10 • BLACKLITE LOUNGE - GAYLORD 9/30 -- Scarkazm & Graves Crossing, 9 • MAIN STREET MARKET - GAYLORD 9/24 -- Lee Dyer 9/30 -- Jake Allen

10/1 -- Acoustic Bonzo Thurs. -- Open mic, 7-9 • TIMOTHY'S PUB - GAYLORD Fri.-Sat. -- Video DJ w/Larry Reichert Ent. • TRAIL TOWN TAVERN - VANDERBILT

Thurs. -- Open mic w/ Billy P, 7 Sat. -- The Billy P Project, 7 • TREETOPS RESORT - GAYLORD Hunter's Grille: Thurs. through Sat. -- Live music w/ Late Night, 9

Northern Express Weekly • september 26, 2016 • 29


Why did rom-com become a dirty word? They’re entertaining, they’re comforting, they’re exactly what I want on a Sunday afternoon. I love everything they have to offer: the generic sidekicks, the predictable plots, the awkward situations, the improbable happenstance, the hilarious accidents, the swoon-worthy grand gestures, and the plucky heroines. It seems as though true rom-coms have all but disappeared from theaters. (One has to settle for Hallmark and Lifetime holiday fare, which Just. Doesn’t. Cut. It.) Theatrical releases targeted at women nowadays tend to be either of the YA/weepie variety, outrageous female buddy comedies, or high-concept films that purport to reinvent or add a “sophisticated” twist to the genre (give me a freakin’ break). Is it really too difficult to go back to the simplest of rom-com fare — the myth of truelove-perpetuating stuff where a little laughter, a little romance, an appealing lead, a handsome love interest, and a happy ending is all I need to be transported to a state of cinematic bliss? So imagine my delight upon hearing that 15 years after Bridget Jones’s Diary and 12 years after Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, my favorite British singleton was headed back to the big screen. And after seeing the film, imagine my even greater delight to discover that not only is Bridget back but also better than ever. Opening to the familiar melancholy strains of “All by Myself,” it’s Bridget Jones’s (Renée Zellweger) 43rd birthday (wonky age-math alert!), and single yet again, she’s celebrating alone. Bridget and OTP Mark Darcy (Colin Firth) broke up five years ago. (Is nothing sacred?) Mark married someone else, and Bridget’s other romantic interest, Daniel Cleaver, is dead (so long, Hugh Grant). It’s a lot of change to take in for sure, but Bridget’s still just as endearing; she’s still wearing her signature necklace, and my heart is instantly full.

30 • september 26, 2016 • Northern Express Weekly

So while the relentlessly hopeful Bridget might

be down, she’s never out. She’s got great friends, is rocking it as a senior news producer, and is getting her groove back. But what about that baby mentioned in the title? Following two one-night stands in short succession, Bridget finds herself unexpectedly pregnant. And in true Bridget-blunder style, the question becomes whether the father is the rich and brilliant mathematician-cum-datingguru (Patrick Dempsey) she met at a music festival, or her beloved Mr. Darcy, with whom she briefly reunited after discovering he was getting divorced. Though Bridget is unable to go through with the amniocentesis needed for DNA testing, both men remain steadfast by her side during the pregnancy. And I swear the premise maintains its believability and never goes off the rails. It also maintains suspense. Both would-be daddies prove incredibly likable. Going in, I didn’t think anyone could be a credible threat or romantic rival for Mark Darcy, but Dempsey is just that (Mc)dreamy. Even my moviegoing partner, famous for predicting film endings, didn’t know where this one was headed. Without losing sight of its antic-filled roots, this is a much more mature outing. There’s no trumped up drama, and there’s a feminist undercurrent — she’s 43, never sexier, and prepared to do this mother thing all on her own. And it’s just as glorious to have Zellweger back as much as it is Bridget. Zellweger hasn’t had a major film role since 2009, and once you see how sincere, warm, and lovely she is you’ll be boggled as to why she’s been gone from the silver screen so long. While not great cinematic art, Bridget Jones’s Baby isn’t trying to be. It’s also a great deal smarter and sharper than it needs to be. Bridget remains so wonderfully relatable that seeing this chapter of her journey feels earned and utterly satisfying, or to paraphrase Bridget herself, like home. Meg Weichman is a perma-intern at the Traverse City Film Festival and a trained film archivist.

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irector Clint Eastwood brings us the true-life story of Captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger’s emergency water landing of a passenger jet on the Hudson River in 2009. What is at first an almost hokey tale of a hero-indoubt, by the end becomes a comforting triumph. The film, which takes place in the scant few days after the landing, follows Sully (Tom Hanks) as he struggles to deal with his newfound, unwanted fame and the skeptical eye of the professionals overseeing an investigation into his decision to ditch in the water rather than return to an airport. So was the NTSB investigation trumped up here for the sake of drama? Probably, but by the end you won’t care. Because Sully was a hero, untarnished and discrete, who stepped into his place and time in history at exactly the right moment. And Tom Hanks couldn’t be more perfect to play him. But Sully wasn’t the only hero that day. Sully is a beautiful homage to ordinary people, professionals, and compassionate human beings who act and do the right thing. America gets to look at a potential disaster, watch with bated breath, and find that the potential nightmare scenario didn’t play out. With how tired we are as a people, how worn down by derisiveness and petty umbrage, it’s a gift to watch something so riveting, something so perfect, unfold.

southside with you

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outhside with You is an enchanting bit of romantic fantasy that recreates and reimagines an idealized version of the first couple’s first date. And it’s not just a gimmicky setup cashing in on our nostalgia for the last days of the Obama White House. It’s a sweet, soulful, sexy, and smart rom-com that that lets you be the ultimate third wheel as Barack Obama (Parker Sawyers) and Michelle Robinson (Tika Sumpter) get together one hot summer day in Chicago. The film relies on your affection for this couple, and that you know or feel like you know these people makes the experience all the richer. And with a focused “Before Midnight”-style approach, in some ways it reveals more than a traditional biopic could. Southside with You has many distinct pleasures, foremost of which is seeing two incredibly likable and engaging people fall in love, but there’s also the unique window into seeing a young man and woman, without the weight of history upon them, becoming who they were meant to be.

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aptain Fantastic is, for lack of a better word, fantastic. Wise, wonderful, and true, it’s the kind of film that’s so richly emotional it defies preconceptions and transcends demographics. It really is for anyone who craves good storytelling and vivid characters, and it’s one of the most profoundly human experiences you can have at the movies this year. It helps that the unconventional family at the story’s center resists categorization. They’re survivalists, intellectualists, and nonconformists, but most importantly, they’re as committed to each other as they are to their ideals. Living in their version of Eden in the wilderness of the Pacific Northwest, Ben Cash (Viggo Mortensen) and his wife, Leslie (Trin Miller), are raising their six kids to be “philosopher kings.” But when tragedy forces them to load up their Merry Pranksters-style bus (affectionately named Steve) and go out into the world to visit Ben’s sister and her family (Kathryn Hah and Steve Zahn), as well as his estranged in-laws (Frank Langella and Ann Dowd), the results of their culture clash are both humorous (hello, video games, processed foods, and girls) and poignant. Captain Fantastic is a road movie, a family drama, a comedy. It’s a work of cultural criticism but only subtly so. This is an indie through and through, yet, with just the right amount of Hollywood heart to make it the crowd-pleasing crossover surprise of the summer.

Northern Express Weekly • september 26, 2016 • 31


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the ADViCE GOddESS Thinking Outside The Boobs

Q

: I’m a man who likes to girl-watch. I do this from behind very dark glasses, yet I still elicit scowls from women. Recently, I was at a help desk, and I availed myself of the view down the receptionist’s top. She quickly covered up with a scarf. I’m puzzled, because there’s no way she could’ve seen my eyes. What’s going on here? — Sunglasses

A

: We all appreciate a nice view, but your eyes might be lingering a bit long in the wrong places if you hear stuff like “Sir…are you ready for my areolas to take your order?” Hiding your boob recon behind pitch-dark shades doesn’t help matters — but not because we have some magical ability to know when someone is staring at us. Sure, people will swear that they can tell — even if the starer is behind them or is behind dark glasses. However, unless they grew up someplace else — like on Planet 34 — they have no organ that would detect this. (Here on Earth, “eyes in the back of your head” is just a figure of speech — save for any rare genetic accidents.) Why might we think we know when we’re being watched — even by someone we can’t see? Well, we may — subconsciously — be picking up on subtle reactions of people around us who can see the watcher. Neuroscientist Joseph LeDoux explains that our amygdala — part of our brain’s threat detection circuitry — reacts beneath conscious awareness, messaging our body to get ready to run or rumble (that “fight or flight” thing). Among our body’s responses, our little hairs stand on end. That’s a creepy feeling — leading us to whirl around to see what gives — and whoa!…there’s some dude angling to cavity-search us with his eyeballs. We have a term for that “hairs standing on end” feeling, and it’s “being creeped out” — which is what women are experiencing when they can’t see what your eyes are up to behind those dark glasses. Evolutionary social psychologist Frank McAndrew published the first study on the nature of “creepiness.”

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He explains that the feeling that something is “creepy” is a self-protective response to “ambiguity”— our being unsure of whether we’re facing a threat. We err on the side of assuming that we are — and in rushes the palace guard to barricade the cleavage with a scarf. This woman you stared at was at the “help” desk, and no, that isn’t short for “Help yourself to a nice long look down my boobage.” Close-range staring at a captive audience like that is particularly creepy — as in, it’s rude. Again, the sunglasses don’t change that; they make it worse. If you’re going to girl-watch, do it in wide-open spaces, like on the street or in a mall, so you don’t make women feel like sitting ducks in pushup bras. You might also take off those spy glasses and engage with one of these ladies. If you get something going with a woman, gazing admiringly at her will seem like a form of flattery — as opposed to a sign that your mom reset the Net Nanny to block all those “filthy” webcam sites.

The Son Also Plagiarizes

Q

: I met this woman who’d dated my ex. In talking, we realized that he used the same romantic lines on both of us. Granted, these made me feel good at the time, but I feel angry and stupid for falling for them. How do you know when a guy is sincere? — Scammed

A

: Understandably, you want a man’s lovey-dovey talk to come from the heart, not from a Word doc he saved on his hard drive. However, a guy whose heartfelt remarks turn out to be a renewable resource isn’t necessarily some sneaky recycler. Consider how personality plays into this. Personality is a pattern over time of thoughts, feelings, and desires that shape how you behave. Research by social psychologist Nathan W. Hudson suggests that you may be able to change aspects of your personality through behavioral change — like by repeatedly acting more conscientiously. Still, Hudson — along with about 10 truckloads of other social psychologists — sees a good deal of evidence that personality is “relatively stable.”


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"It's the Five-O!"--and I'm nowhere near Hawaii. by Matt Jones ACROSS 1 Made some brownies 6 Alert heard in the night, maybe 11 Fire dept. ranks 14 GE competitor 15 Former emperor Selassie 16 Granola granule 17 First #1 hit for the Black Eyed Peas 19 “___ gotta go now ...” 20 “Fatal Instinct” actor Armand 21 It’s not worth a dime 23 Charges 26 6 or 9, but not 69 27 Big-headed? 30 Can’t help but 32 Healing plant 33 Peninsula in the news 35 Big galoot 38 “I’ll take that as ___” 39 Cocktails with umbrellas 40 Like borrowed library books, eventually 41 Limbo prop 42 Favorable trend 43 M’s associate 44 Certain Sooner Stater 46 Pipsqueaks 47 Canine complaint 49 Gives lip 52 Arrive by horse 54 Hypothetical questions 58 Abbr. on military mail 59 Band with the 1998 #1 hit “Iris” 62 Co. big shot 63 Item dropped in Road Runner cartoons 64 Disney film set in China 65 Go awry 66 Author Zora ___ Hurston 67 French parts of the U.S.?

DOWN

1 Rum-soaked cake 2 ___ Lee (singer with the album “Mission Bell”) 3 “Get Smart” enemy org. 4 All together 5 Coleman of “Boardwalk Empire” and “9 to 5” 6 Kicks 7 Words before “Spock” and “Not Spock,” in autobiography titles 8 Tombstone inscription 9 Musk of Tesla Motors 10 What traditionalists may be averse to 11 Befit, like clothes 12 “Star Trek” actor who came out in 2005 13 Long-legged marsh bird 18 12-time All-Star Mel 22 Op. ___ (footnote abbr.) 24 Yellowfin, alternatively 25 Singer/TV personality Braxton 27 “Born From Jets” car company 28 Forearm component 29 Salesman’s selling style, way back when 31 Mineral deposit 33 Salary maximums 34 Awards presented by the Romance Writers of America 36 Patty or Selma, to Maggie 37 Government agents 39 Do-over shot 43 Make a prison break 45 Much-maligned director ___ Boll 46 File with software instructions 47 2016 “America’s Got Talent” winner VanderWaal 48 More ready to be picked 50 Massively ripped 51 “Dexter” airer, for short 53 Fourth piggy’s portion 55 ___ J (rapper/producer and brother of the late J Dilla) 56 Like a pancake 57 IDs with two hyphens 60 Fertility clinic specimens 61 Hodges of baseball fame

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(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Thank you for all the entertainment you’ve provided in the past 12 months, Libra. Since shortly before your birthday in 2015, you have taken lively and gallant actions to rewrite history. You have banished a pesky demon and repaired a hole in your soul. You’ve educated the most immature part of yourself and nurtured the most neglected part of yourself. To my joyful shock, you have even worked to transform a dysfunctional romantic habit that in previous years had subtly undermined your ability to get the kind of intimacy you seek. What’s next? Here’s my guess: an unprecedented exemption from the demands of the past.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): What’s the

difference between a love warrior and a love worrier? Love warriors work diligently to keep enhancing their empathy, compassion, and emotional intelligence. Love worriers fret so much about not getting the love they want that they neglect to develop their intimacy skills. Love warriors are always vigilant for how their own ignorance may be sabotaging togetherness, while love worriers dwell on how their partner’s ignorance is sabotaging togetherness. Love warriors stay focused on their relationship’s highest goals, while love worriers are preoccupied with every little relationship glitch. I bring this to your attention, Aries, because the next seven weeks will be an excellent time to become less of a love worrier and more of a love warrior.

deal with a provocative opportunity to reinvent and reinvigorate your approach to work? My guess is that if you ignore this challenge, it will devolve into an obstruction. If you embrace it, on the other hand, you will be led to unforeseen improvements in the way you earn money and structure your daily routine. Here’s the paradox: Being open to seemingly impractical considerations will ultimately turn out to be quite practical.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Is it possible that

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you’re on the verge of reclaiming some of the innocent wisdom you had as a child? Judging from the current astrological omens, I suspect it is. If all goes well, you will soon be gifted with a long glimpse of your true destiny -- a close replica of the vision that bloomed in you at a tender age. And this will, in turn, enable you to actually see magic unicorns and play with mischievous fairies and eat clouds that dip down close to the earth. And not only that: Having a holy vision of your original self will make you even smarter than you already are. For example, you could get insights about how to express previously inexpressible parts of yourself. You might discover secrets about how to attract more of the love you have always felt deprived of.

CANCER June 21-July 22): I’m not asking

you to tell me about the places and situations where you feel safe and fragile and timid. I want to know about where you feel safe and strong and bold. Are there sanctuaries that nurture your audacious wisdom? Are there natural sites that tease out your primal willpower and help you clarify your goals? Go to those power spots. Allow them to exalt you with their transformative blessings. Pray and sing and dance there. And maybe find a new oasis to excite and incite you, as well. Your creative savvy will bloom in November if you nurture yourself now with this magic.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22): One of your old reliable formulas may temporarily be useless or even deceptive. An ally could be withholding an important detail from you. Your favorite psychological crutch is in disrepair, and your goto excuse is no longer viable. And yet I think you’re going to be just fine, Leo. Plan B will probably work better than Plan A. Secondary sources and substitutes should provide you with all the leverage you need. And I bet you will finally capitalize on an advantage that you have previously neglected. For best results, be vigilant for unexpected help.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): ): Attention!

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LIBRA

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): ): How will you

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Warning! One of your signature fears is losing its chokehold on your imagination. If this trend continues, its power to scare you may diminish more than 70 percent by November 1.

And then what will you do? How can you continue to plug away at your goals if you don’t have worry and angst and dread to motivate you? I suppose you could shop around for a replacement fear -- a new prod to keep you on the true and righteous path. But you might also want to consider an alternative: the possibility of drawing more of the energy you need by feeding your lust for life.

ScORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Are you able

to expand while you are contracting, and vice versa? Can you shed mediocre comforts and also open your imagination to gifts that await you at the frontier? Is it possible to be skeptical toward ideas that shrink your world and people who waste your time, even as you cultivate optimism and innocence about the interesting challenges ahead of you? Here’s what I think, Scorpio: Yes, you can. At least for right now, you are more flexible and multifaceted than you might imagine.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You

Sagittarians are famous for filling your cups so full they’re in danger of spilling over. Sometimes the rest of us find this kind of cute. On other occasions, we don’t enjoy getting wine splashed on our shoes. But I suspect that in the coming weeks, the consequences of your tendency to overflow will be mostly benign -- perhaps even downright beneficial. So I suggest you experiment with the pleasures of surging and gushing. Have fun as you escape your niches and transcend your containers. Give yourself permission to seek adventures that might be too extravagant for polite company. Now here’s a helpful reminder from your fellow Sagittarian, poet Emily Dickinson: “You cannot fold a flood and put it in a drawer.” CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I believe that during the coming weeks you will have an extra amount of freedom from fate. The daily grind won’t be able to grind you down. The influences that typically tend to sap your joie de vivre will leave you in peace. Are you ready to take full advantage of this special dispensation? Please say YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES. Be alert for opportunities to rise above the lowest common denominators. Be aggressive about rejecting the trivial questions that trap everyone in low expectations. Here are my predictions: Your willpower will consistently trump your conditioning. You won’t have to play by the old rules, but will instead have extra sovereignty to invent the future.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) According to

my analysis of the astrological omens, you can expect an unlikely coincidence or two in the coming days. You should also be alert for helpfully prophetic dreams, clear telepathic messages, and pokes from tricky informers. In fact, I suspect that useful hints and clues will be swirling in extra abundance, sometimes in the form of direct communications from reliable sources, but on occasion as mysterious signals from strange angels.

PIScES (Feb. 19-March 20): You know

that inner work you’ve been doing with such diligence? I’m referring to those psycho-spiritual transformations you have been attending to in the dark . . . the challenging but oddly gratifying negotiations you’ve been carrying on with your secret self . . . the steady, strong future you’ve been struggling to forge out of the chaos? Well, I foresee you making a big breakthrough in the coming weeks. The progress you’ve been earning, which up until now has been mostly invisible to others, will finally be seen and appreciated. The vows you uttered so long ago will, at last, yield at least some of the tangible results you’ve pined for.


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36 • september 26, 2016 • Northern Express Weekly


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