FOSTER CARE: THE HIDDEN NEED IN YOUR COMMUNITY

guest opinion by Emma Smith

Most of us shy away from the idea of foster parenting. It’s daunting just thinking about caring for a child who’s experienced neglect and abuse. We worry about the behaviors they’ll have and whether or not we’ll be able to meet their needs. We wonder whether they’ll get along with our own children or if they could disrupt family stability.

And then there’s perhaps the scariest question of all: What happens if we get too attached and the child ends up going back home to their parents?

Having worked in the field of child welfare for over a decade, I’ve been on the receiving end of all sorts of questions and curiosities from people wondering how it all works.

care. There are cases, of course, in which this is not possible. And in those instances, a child is often adopted by the foster family.

I’m not here to sugarcoat anything; being a foster parent is a huge undertaking. For the reasons that people think, yes, but also because there’s still a lot of stigma attached to the job. Not only do foster parents have to navigate a confusing, complex hellscape of a legal system while raising children who have significant trauma histories, but they do it for very, very little financial incentive. This is despite the caricatures you may have seen in the media depicting lazy, uncaring foster parents who are “just in it for the money.” It is unacceptable that foster parents have to deal with this undertaking.

Friends, acquaintances, and strangers alike have asked me things like, “Is there actually a need for foster parents in northern Michigan?” Or, “Are you really seeing the effects of the opioid epidemic here?” Many folks can’t believe that homeless families even exist in Traverse City, a tourist destination with seemingly obvious affluence.

These inquiries do not bother me. Rather, they excite me. I am the type of person who not only welcomes discussions about foster care (and the various societal factors to which it can be attributed) but who also relishes the opportunity to talk anyone and everyone’s ear off about it.

That said, these questions do make me realize that those of us in the field of social work, and specifically child welfare, need to do a better job of communicating with our community to help them understand that the need does indeed exist in our own backyard.

There are a variety of reasons why a parent may no longer be able to adequately care for their child, thus resulting in the need for foster care. These reasons could include unmet mental health needs, physical health problems, issues with substance use, a lack of resources, or some combination of the four.

It’s important to note that foster care is not meant to be a long-term solution. Studies show that, in general, when children are raised in the same home as their biological parents, they are significantly more likely to avoid poverty and prison, as well as to graduate from college (Institute for Family Studies, 2021). So, whenever possible, children returning back home to their parents is the preferred outcome of foster stigma, along with all the other ludacris judgments thrown their way from people in glass houses.

The fact is, foster parents are people— the vast majority are good people. And to circle back to my opening statement, they should (and do) get attached; in fact, that’s the whole point. Allowing yourself to get attached to a child means that you treated them as your own, and you’ve shown them what it means to be loved and cared for in the way they deserve. A foster parent may be the first safe attachment in a child’s life, which paves the way for them to form other healthy attachments later on.

When someone chooses to become licensed for foster care, they’ll receive training, support, and understanding at every step of the way. Potential foster parents are able to list their preferences right from the beginning, whether they want to foster teens or infants, one child or a sibling group. Maybe there’s a potential foster parent out there who has expertise in helping kids with things like LGBTQ+ support, grief and loss, culturallyspecific needs, or developmental delays

No matter what the skill set or background, you could have what it takes to be a great foster parent. I can guarantee that with over 10,000 children in foster care in Michigan alone, there is a child out there just waiting to be matched with a family who doesn’t even know that their particular brand of love, patience, and nurturing is exactly what that child has been waiting for.

Emma Smith is a Leelanau County native who now lives in Traverse City. She works on the development team at Child and Family Services and is also a clinical mental health therapist.

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Bright Idea

Eco-activist Rob Greenfield has stopped using toilet paper, and he wants you to, too. People reported on May 4 that Greenfield is touring the country as part of his Grow Your Own Toilet Paper Initiative, introducing people to the blue spur flower plant. The leaves are "soft as can be," he said. "They're durable. I call them the Charmin of the garden." Greenfield sets up a compost toilet in a busy area and gives his spiel: "Hey, did you know you can grow your own toilet paper? I want to show people that another way is possible. We just buy (toilet paper) at the store and we never think twice about it." Each leaf is about the size of a piece of toilet paper, and the plant supplies an abundance of them. They can't be flushed, but they can be thrown in the trash or buried in the yard. Passersby who get sucked in will also hear Greenfield's views on composting human waste rather than using flush toilets.

Field Report

Nina Jochnowitz was alerted on April 26 by a fellow citizen in Old Bridge, New Jersey, about an odd deposit near a stream, NJ.com reported. When Jochnowitz investigated, she found 500 pounds of cooked pasta -spaghetti, ziti and elbow macaroni -- dumped along a 25-foot-wide area. She posted photos on Facebook and alerted the town administrator and public works department, and two days later, the carb-y mess had been cleaned up. Jochnowitz pointedly remarked that Old Bridge is the only town in the county without bulk garbage pickup. Days later, the mystery of the pasta's origin was solved: A man moving out of his mother's home after her death discovered a stockpile of dry noodles and allegedly dumped them there. A weekend's worth of heavy rains softened the pasta, making it look as if it had been cooked. Old Bridge's mayor declared no harm, no foul, and the few stray noodles left on the ground are the only sign of the great pasta caper.

Fine Points of the Law

The Ohio Supreme Court ruled on May 3 that a man who was serving eight to 12 years in prison did not, after all, commit a burglary. In September 2020, Donald Bertram approached the home of Timothy Huff as Huff was working in his yard, The Columbus Dispatch reported. Bertram walked into Huff's open garage, picked up a $500 leaf blower, got in his car and drove away. But the court said that because Bertram committed the act without "force, stealth or deception," it wasn't a burglary. Instead, justices told Scioto County Common Pleas Court that he could be charged with misdemeanor criminal trespassing. Sentences for misdemeanors typically result in less than a year in jail.

Awesome!

From the too-good-to-pass-up file: Photographer Ken Pretty of Dildo, Newfoundland, had the extraordinary luck on April 27 to capture a 30-foot-tall iceberg floating in Conception Bay. (Nearby towns include Spread Eagle and Placentia.) Live Science reported that the berg, "a column with a domed head protruding up from two oval rafts of ice," resembled a phallus. "I knew I'd get a lot of comments," Pretty said, "but I didn't expect this much." Sadly, the

"dickie berg," as locals named it, didn't last: It collapsed the next day.

Recurring Theme

It's happened again. Minnesota state Sen. Calvin Bahr of East Bethel garnered some unwanted attention on May 1 after he cast a vote via Zoom -- camera on, lying shirtless in bed with, inexplicably, an "I'm Just a Bill" character from "Schoolhouse Rock!" on the wall behind him. The Associated Press reported that immediately after casting his vote, Bahr switched off his camera.

Suspicions Confirmed

On April 29 in Groningen, the Netherlands, police pulled over a driver who had mowed down a post on a sidewalk, Oddity Central reported. The unnamed 35-year-old man refused a breath test, but he did produce a Ukrainian driver's license with a familiar name and photo: Boris Johnson, the former prime minister of the United Kingdom. The license had Johnson's correct date of birth but had an expiration date of 3000. Apparently, such fake licenses are popular at Ukrainian souvenir shops.

Unclear on the Concept

Jerry Martin had what he thought was a winning idea for a retail shop: The Drug Store, where people could buy cocaine, heroin, meth and MDMA that had been tested for fentanyl. Vice reported that Martin's mobile shop, in Vancouver, Canada, was open less than 24 hours when he was arrested for drug trafficking. The store, housed in a mobile trailer that Martin parked next to a police van, featured bright yellow boards with prices listed for all the drugs. Martin wore a stab-proof vest as he sold the items from behind a plexiglass window. According to him, his plan included getting arrested so that he could challenge "laws that prevent a safe supply and result in death by poisoning" in Canada's Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

Least Competent Criminals

The BBC reported on May 4 that three burglars broke into a shoe store in Huancayo, Peru, in the middle of the night and made off with 200 shoes. Unfortunately for them, they were all right shoes. Surveillance video captured them using a tricycle to remove the boxed shoes. The shop owner estimated the value at more than $13,000, although the thieves may have trouble selling the shoes for only one foot. The local police chief was confident that they would be caught.

News That Sounds Like a Joke

Akron (Ohio) Municipal Court Judge Ron Cable made a couple's dreams come true on May 4 as he officiated a "Star Wars"themed wedding, the Associated Press reported. Julia and Robert Jones said when they heard about the special ceremonies, "There was no other right decision. That was it." They joined six other couples in 15-minute wedding ceremonies at the Highland Universal Gathering Spot in Akron. Julia and Robert took the theme to the next level, wearing Sith and Jedi robes and carrying lightsabers. "By the joining of the lightsabers," Cable intoned, "and by the giving and receiving of rings," he pronounced them husband and wife. "May the Force be with you."