14 minute read
Nitelife
July 24 – Aug. 27, is an open-air exhibition of small work. This year’s theme, Wild Friends, challenges makers of all skills to create an unframed painting, drawing, photograph or collage on a single, 5” x 7” sheet of paper around this theme. Each work will be placed in a sealed plastic envelope & pinned to a clothesline in front of the GAAC building at 6031 S. Lake St., Glen Arbor. The Clothesline Exhibition may be viewed 24/7, rain or shine. For info on submitting an entry to the Clothesline Exhibit, go to GlenArborArt.org/ ARTISTS. Deadline for submissions is July 6. 231-334-6112. glenarborart.org/artists/callsfor-entry/clothesline-exhibit-call-for-entries
- CALL-FOR-ENTRIES: EVERYDAY OB-
JECTS EXHIBITION: Runs Aug. 27 – Oct. 28. Online applications for this juried show may be submitted through July 15. It is open to 2D & 3D objects in a wide variety of media. The GAAC is open Mon. through Sat., 11am–2pm. glenarborart.org/artists/calls-for-entry/everyday-objectsprospectus - MEMBERS CREATE EXHIBITION: On display: 41 works in both 2D & 3D by northern Michigan artists & beyond. The online version of the exhibition is also available for viewing. Business hours: 11am–2pm, Mon. through Sat. glenarborart.org/events/exhibit2021-members-create
OLIVER ART CENTER, FRANKFORT: - ANNUAL REGIONAL STUDENT EXHIBI-
TION: Runs through May 7. oliverartcenterfrankfort.org/gallery-gift-shop/exhibition-calendar
- CALL FOR ART: LITTLE FREE ART GAL-
LERIES: Oliver Art Center will have Little Free Art Galleries in three places: Oliver Art Center, Century 21 Northland, & Benzie Shores District Library, all in Frankfort. Volunteers make art on a small scale & place in the gallery. Visitors may view the art, take the art, leave their own art, or make a monetary contribution via oliverart.org. Frankfort’s Little Free Art Galleries will be installed & ready for art & visitors May 1. Oliver Art Center is currently accepting art for the galleries. oliverartcenterfrankfort.org
JOIN THE CANNABIS TEXT ALERT CLUB! “Jonesin” Crosswords
"Ask Your Doctor"--they sound like prescriptions. by Matt Jones
ACROSS 1 “Dis or ___” (“You Don’t Know Jack” round) 4 Ozone depleter, for short 7 Brotherhood brothers 12 Obama’s first chief of staff Rahm 14 Fragmented 16 *“Feel the need to get in hot water? Ask your doctor if ___ is right for you.” 17 *“Are you managing your health under ‘New Rules’? Ask your doctor if ___ ...” 19 Our top story? 20 Things to pick 22 Film set in cyberspace 23 7, on a grandfather clock 24 Chime in 26 Prefix meaning “iron-containing” 27 Maritime patrol org. 29 *”Lack of unusual influences getting you down? Ask your doctor if ___ ...” 31 “Atlas Shrugged” novelist Rand 33 “And giving ___, up the chimney he rose” 34 Marlins’ MLB div. 35 In-browser programs 39 Tiny amounts 41 Conk out 42 Feast on the beach 44 Roman 1011 45 *”Do you need to reach higher in life? Ask your doctor if ___ ...” 48 Aquafina rival 52 Game show host Convy and Muppet ... well, we don’t get a last name 53 Gnocchi-like dumplings (from the Italian for “naked”) 55 “Who Let the Dogs Out?” group Baha ___ 56 “You’re in trou-bllle ...” 57 Poison lead singer Michaels 58 Barely enough 60 *”Want to feel like you did it your way? Ask your doctor if ___ ...” 62 *”Feel like the only way to be cured is by meat? Ask your doctor if ___ ...” 64 Milk acid 65 Seven days from now 66 Nebraska senator Ben who voted to impeach in the February 2021 trial 67 ___ Equis 68 “Black-ish” dad
DOWN 1 “Done it before” feeling 2 Cremona violins 3 Gambit 4 Capital of the 21-Down Empire 5 Moroccan hat 6 Medical center 7 Age range for most high-schoolers 8 Heavy burden 9 Bucks’ org. 10 Out of ___ (askew) 11 Like some renditions 13 Rapa ___ (Easter Island, to locals) 15 Trivia quiz website that also offers pub trivia 18 Licorice-flavored seeds 21 See 4-Down 25 Kept inside 26 Former Army base in N.J. 28 Gadot of “Wonder Woman” 30 Scarfed, even more slangily 32 Barks sharply 35 Marinated Philippine dishes 36 Disinfectant ingredient 37 Kuala Lumpur’s ___ Towers skyscrapers 38 Provide table talk? 40 “What’s the ___?” (“So what?”) 43 ___ Reader (alternative digest) 46 Home of Odysseus and Penelope 47 Won on eBay, usually 49 Took an x-ray of, perhaps 50 Kendall or Kylie 51 Consumption 54 Cozumel y Mallorca, por ejemplo 57 Rite performed by a mohel 59 Dairy dweller 61 Some two-door Audi models 63 One of “Two Virgins” on a 1968 album cover
lOGY MAY 03 - MAY 09 BY ROB BREZSNY
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus poet Vera Pavlova writes, “Why is the word yes so brief? It should be the longest, the hardest, so that you could not decide in an instant to say it, so that upon reflection you could stop in the middle of saying it.” I suppose it makes sense for her to express such an attitude, given the fact that she never had a happy experience until she was 20 years old, and that furthermore, this happiness was “unbearable.” (She confessed these sad truths in an interview.) But I hope you won’t adopt her hard-edged skepticism toward YES anytime soon, Taurus. In my view, it’s time for you to become a connoisseur of YES, a brave explorer of the bright mysteries of YES, an exuberant perpetrator of YES.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): As Scorpio author Margaret Atwood reminds us, “Water is not a solid wall; it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it.” According to my reading of the astrological omens, being like water will be an excellent strategy for you to embrace during the coming weeks. “Water is patient,” Atwood continues. “Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember you are half water. If you can’t go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does.”
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) In a letter to a friend in 1856, Sagittarian poet Emily Dickinson confessed she was feeling discombobulated because of a recent move to a new home. She hoped she would soon regain her bearings. “I am out with lanterns, looking for myself,” she quipped, adding that she couldn’t help laughing at her disorientation. She signed the letter “From your mad Emilie,” intentionally misspelling her own name. I’d love it if you approached your current doubt and uncertainty with a similar light-heartedness and poise. (PS: Soon after writing this letter, Dickinson began her career as a poet in earnest, reading extensively and finishing an average of one poem every day for many years.)
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Now is a favorable time to celebrate both life’s changeableness and your own. The way we are all constantly called on to adjust to unceasing transformations can sometimes be a wearying chore, but I suspect it could be at least interesting and possibly even exhilarating for you in the coming weeks. For inspiration, study this message from the “Welcome to Night Vale” podcast: “You are never the same twice, and much of your unhappiness comes from trying to pretend that you are. Accept that you are different each day, and do so joyfully, recognizing it for the gift it is. Work within the desires and goals of the person you are currently, until you aren’t that person anymore.”
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian author Toni Morrison described two varieties of loneliness. The first “is a loneliness that can be rocked. Arms crossed, knees drawn up; holding, holding on, this motion smooths and contains the rocker.” The second “is a loneliness that roams. No rocking can hold it down. It is alive, on its own.” Neither kind is better or worse, of course, and both are sometimes necessary as a strategy for self-renewal—as a means for deepening and finetuning one’s relationship with oneself. I recommend either or both for you in the coming weeks.
PISCES (Feb 19-March 20): England’s Prince Charles requires his valet to iron his shoelaces and put toothpaste on his toothbrush and wash all of his clothes by hand. I could conceivably interpret the current astrological omens to mean that you should pursue similar behavior in the coming weeks. I could, but I won’t. Instead, I will suggest that you solicit help about truly important matters, not meaningless trivia like shoelace ironing. For example, I urge you to ask for the support you need as you build bridges, seek harmony, and make interesting connections.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Created by Leonardo da Vinci in the 16th century, the Mona Lisa is one of the world’s most famous paintings. It’s hanging in the Louvre museum in Paris. In that same museum is a less renowned version of the Mona Lisa. It depicts the same woman, but she’s unclothed. Made by da Vinci’s student, it was probably inspired by a now-lost nude Mona Lisa painted by the master himself. Renaissance artists commonly created “heavenly” and “vulgar” versions of the same subject. I suggest that in the coming weeks you opt for the “vulgar” Mona Lisa, not the “heavenly” one, as your metaphor of power. Favor what’s earthy, raw, and unadorned over what’s spectacular, idealized, and polished.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In indigenous cultures from West Africa to Finland to China, folklore describes foxes as crafty tricksters with magical powers. Sometimes they’re thought of as perpetrators of pranks, but more often they are considered helpful messengers or intelligent allies. I propose that you regard the fox as your spirit creature for the foreseeable future. I think you will benefit from the influence of your inner fox—the wild part of you that is ingenious, cunning, and resourceful.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): “The universe conspires in your favor,” writes author Neale Donald Welsch. “It consistently places before you the right and perfect people, circumstances, and situations with which to answer life’s only question: ‘Who are you?’” In my book Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings, I say much the same thing, although I mention two further questions that life regularly asks, which are: 1. What can you do next to liberate yourself from some of your suffering? 2. What can you do next to reduce the suffering of others, even by a little? As you enter a phase when you’ll get ample cosmic help in diminishing suffering and defining who you are, I hope you meditate on these questions every day.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The poet Anne Sexton wrote a letter to a Benedictine monk whose real identity she kept secret from the rest of us. She told him, “There are a few great souls in my life. They are not many. They are few. You are one.” In this spirit, Leo, and in accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to take an inventory of the great souls in your life: the people you admire and respect and learn from and feel grateful for; people with high integrity and noble intentions; people who are generous with their precious gifts. When you’ve compiled your list, I encourage you to do as Sexton did: Express your appreciation; perhaps even send no-strings-attached gifts. Doing these things will have a profoundly healing effect on you.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “It’s a temptation for any intelligent person to try to murder the primitive, emotive, appetitive self,” writes author Donna Tartt. “But that is a mistake. Because it is dangerous to ignore the existence of the irrational.” I’m sending this message out to you, Virgo, because in the coming weeks it will be crucial for you to honor the parts of your life that can’t be managed through rational thought alone. I suggest you have sacred fun as you exult in the mysterious, welcome the numinous, explore the wildness within you, unrepress big feelings you’ve buried, and marvel adoringly about your deepest yearnings.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Science writer Sharman Apt Russell provides counsel that I think you should consider adopting in the coming days. The psychospiritual healing you require probably won’t be available through the normal means, so some version of her proposal may be useful: “We may need to be cured by flowers. We may need to strip naked and let the petals fall on our shoulders, down our bellies, against our thighs. We may need to lie naked in fields of wildflowers. We may need to walk naked through beauty. We may need to walk naked through color. We may need to walk naked through scent.”
the ADViCE GOddESS
BY Amy Alkon
Dear In Headlights
Q: I’m a girl in my 20s. I recently started dating a guy I’m falling in love with. He invited me to a party to meet his friends, and I’m nervous. He’s “objectively” more attractive than I am (6-foot-2, brawny, and incredibly handsome) and very successful. I’m attractive, but I see the looks women give him, and I can’t help but feel his friends will question why he’s interested in me. I’m thinking of backing out of the party, but maybe I should back out of dating him entirely, given the pressure.
— Freaking
A: The other guests are going to a party; as you see it, you’re on trial, and they’re the jury. The invite: “Drinks, tunes, and executing the borderline attractive girl at dawn.” Tell somebody you might end it with this guy because you’re afraid his friends will be all “Eew, why’s he with her?” and they’re sure to scold you that you shouldn’t care what other people think of you. They mean well, but this is ridiculous advice — akin to telling you not to get hungry. We evolved to be people who care what other people think. That’s built into our psychology, same as the urge that drives us to nab a burrito, which keeps us from passing out, dying, and being eaten by raccoons. Successfully handling other people’s appraisals of you starts with throwing out everything most of us believe about self-esteem. I explain in “Unf*ckology” that this “I like me!” state we’ve been told to strive for “makes little functional sense. Psychology researchers and therapists far and wide failed to ask the ‘why?’ question that evolutionary psychology demands: Why would it be evolutionarily advantageous for you to like yourself -- for you to sit around saying, ‘I’m fabulous! Kiss the royal hand!’?” What would’ve helped our ancestors survive and mate is other people liking them: respecting them, wanting to get it on with them, and sneaking them seconds on the bison frittatas. Accordingly, psychologist Mark Leary explains that we developed an internal monitoring system that tracks “the degree to which other people accept versus reject” us. Our resulting feelgood or feelbad (erroneously called “self-esteem”) is actually part of a three-part process: 1. Our perception of what other people think of us, which leads to 2. Feelings in us (from happy to fearful), which motivate us to 3. Maintain our social position or try to repair it. So, “self-esteem” is really “what other people think of us”-esteem — a measurement of our social standing — triggering emotions that drive us to preserve or fix it. In light of that, advice to “raise” your self-esteem makes no sense, because how you feel about yourself isn’t the problem, and changing that fixes nothing. (It’s like trying to feel better about your overheating car instead of putting water in the radiator.)
While being popular has many benefits, panicking at potentially being rejected made more sense when our survival in a harsh ancestral environment depended on our maintaining our social cred with a small, consistent band of people. We now live in vast cities teeming with strangers. If somebody in our social circle decides we’ve got adult cooties, we can pretty easily slide into a whole new social circle simply by hanging out at different bars.
So, your terror about meeting his friends — “LIFE OR DEATH, GIRLIE!” — is driven by psychology that’s seriously outdated: mismatched with our modern environment. Recognizing this can help you put your yearning to be liked into a more modern perspective: Great when it happens but merely a major bummer, not a death sentence, if it doesn’t.
Lowering the stakes like this should be helpful because pressure to excel could cause you to overfocus on your performance. This can lead to clutching anxiety that impairs your ability to perform (“choking under pressure”). Amazingly, research by Harvard Business School’s Alison Wood Brooks suggests a way to prevent choking is “reappraising” the pounding heart of anxiety as the pounding heart of excitement. Say to yourself repeatedly, “I’m so excited to go to this party and meet his friends!” It should also help to approach the evening with a relaxed set of goals: 1. Having fun. 2. Getting to know his friends. Because you’re with him, they’ll probably assume you’re special — which is surely why he’s with you. (A handsome, high-status guy doesn’t get involved with a woman he finds physically and otherwise meh.) At the party, instead of trying really hard to be liked — a surefire way to be instantly unlikeable — ask people about themselves, and listen with genuine interest. They’ll warm to you, probably without knowing why. Sure, some hearts might remain hardened, but it’s the rare person who’ll cut themselves off, mid-“me, me, me!” to pelt you with canapes and chase you out of the party with a broom.
