Advice

THIS BEAUTIFUL 4000+ SQUARE FOOT Craftsman style home is a must see. 100 feet of private frontage on the Big Glen Lake peninsula. The home features an open layout with 10 foot ceilings in every room, and floor to ceiling windows offering striking views of the water from nearly every room. Main floor primary suite with private balcony. High end finishes throughout the home, including, Cherry cabinetry, granite countertops, stainless steel appliances, subzero refrigerator, walk in pantry, wet bar, wine fridge and much more. Lower level has a third bedroom with adjacent bath and second laundry room. A stunning 3 stall garage with composite flooring, endless high end cabinetry and work area. Above the garage, you’ll find a well appointed 2 bedroom, 1 bath guest house. Whole house generator next to the garage, and the list goes on. If you’re looking to diversify your investment portfolio and get into local Leelanau County real estate, you’ll want to consider this beautiful 125 acre forestry parcel. Located in southern Kasson Township, this stellar offering is flanked by state land on its half mile west boundary, and larger private holdings on the other 5 sides of its “L” configuration. This property has been owned by members of the same family since the 1960’s who have been thoughtful stewards of the land, while enrolling its into the State Commercial Forest Reserve program that calls for sustainable forestry practices, while taking advantage of minimal real estate taxes, the occasional select harvest as trees are allowed to mature and are sold when the opportune time comes, depending on the future forest management plan, consulting forester, and landowners desires, every 10, 15, or 20 years. Predominately maple, but there are some beautiful wild cherry trees, beech, and stands of hemlock that provide exceptional wildlife habitat. This sort of legacy property is not commonly offered, and will pay future dividends in recreational and timber sale benefits for generations to come. Access is from two seasonally maintained portions of South Gilbert Road, or West (actually from the east side of...) Beeman Road.

231-334-2758

www.serbinrealestate.com

GRAND TRAVERSE COMMONS NEW LISTING! Unique Northern Michigan lakefront home. NEW LISTING!

120 feet of private frontage on all sports Spider Exceptional commercial space w/ 8 private offices, conference rm, kitchen, work room, bathroom & 4 separate exterior entrances. Great layout, plenty of windows & all new carpet throughout. Why do so many local entrepreneurs love working in The Village? All of the conveniences & amenities of The Commons are right outside your door: Great cafes, fine dining & local beverage options, unique shops, hundreds of acres of parkland & miles of Woodsy setting with a beautiful view of Duck Lake & the westerly sunsets. Shared Duck Lake frontage within a very short walking distance at the end of the road. Large wrap-around multi-level decks in the spacious yard that backs up to a creek. Open floor plan. Master with cozy reading area, 2 closets, slider out to deck. Maple crown molding in kitchen & hall. Hickory & bamboo flooring in main level bedrooms. Built in armoire & Lake. Largest part of Spider Lake, sunshine on the beach all day, sandy bottom. Quality construction, perfectly maintained. Open floor plan w/ soaring vaulted pine ceiling w/ a wall of windows looking out to the lake. Floor-to-ceiling, natural Michigan stone, wood burning fireplace w/ Heatilator vents. Built in bookcases in separate area of living room for cozy reading center. Finished family room w/ woodstove. Detached garage has complete studio, kitchen, workshop, 1 ½ baths & its own deck. 2 docks, large deck on main house, patio, lakeside deck, bon-fire pit trails. High speed fiber internet available. Elevator & 2 common area bathrooms. Exterior signage along the newly dresser in 2nd bedroom. 6 panel doors. Finished family room in & multiple sets of stairs. Extensively landscaped w/ plants & flowers conducive to all the wildlife refinished Cottageview Drive. Free permitted parking. (1883654) $685,000.walk-out lower level. MLS#1798048 $220,000.that surrounds the area. (1791482) $570,000.

Marsha Minervini

Making What Was Making What Was Thinking of selling? Old New Again Old New Again Call now for a free market evaluation of your home.

231-883-4500 231-883-4500

www.marshaminervini.com 500 S. Union Street, Traverse City, MI

231-947-1006 • marsha@marshaminervini.com

the ADViCE GOddESS

BY Amy Alkon

Fraud Prince Too Much of A Good Thong

Q: I broke up with a guy I was dating after discovering he’d lied about his age on the dating app we’d met on. (He’s 48, not “39.”) I’d told him honesty’s a big deal for me. He claimed he’s honest with those he cares about and at work and argued that everybody lies on dating sites. I’m not buying that. Isn’t someone either honest or not?

— Skeptical

A: There’s that saying, “act your age,” and he is — as a guy cresting 50 who wants a girlfriend who still sometimes gets carded. Chances are you consider yourself an honest person. But you’re not. None of us is. In the words of TV’s Dr. House, “Everybody lies.” Social psychologist Bella DePaulo concurs. In her research on lying, she explains that people can’t be “tossed into one of two moral bins, one for the people who are honest and the other for the liars.”

In fact, we all lie in ways we don’t even recognize as lies. Do you wear controltop tights or Spanx? A push-up bra or a squish-you-down bra? How about under-eye concealer? (Note that it isn’t called undereye revealer: “All the better to show off my ginormous, dark, puffy eyebags!”) These less-than-truthful forms of selfpresentation are a lighter shade of the lie this guy told: an “instrumental” lie — a lie used as an “instrument” to get others to give us “material rewards or other personal pleasures or advantages” they wouldn’t if we told the truth.

But consider that people who don’t lie their way through life might see lies in an online dating profile as sort of Spanx-type fibbies: a way to game an unfair system, a la, “I’m so much younger than my real age, and the hot young women I want would see that -- uh, if only I could get around their searches where they cut out my age group.” Getting a realistic sense of a man’s true character probably takes listening and watching over time, especially when he doesn’t know you’re doing it. That should help you avoid missing out on good guys who occasionally retrofit the truth with a little Spandex. And you’ll know to ditch those who are ethically iffy — or worse: for example, some other 48-year-old dude who has the firm body of a man half his age — and if he keeps it in his basement freezer, no one will be the wiser Q: I’m a senior in college, and the woman I recently started seeing is a sophomore. My buddies told me she has a “reputation,” as in, she’s hooked up with half the men’s soccer team. She’s beautiful and intelligent, and I don’t understand why she has the low self-esteem to behave that way.

—Rethinking Our Relationship

A: Turn the tables, and imagine a guy who’s hooked up with half the cheerleading squad. Your first thought: “Dude must have a huge...” (and correct me if I’m wrong) “...set of mommy issues.” There’s a pervasive stereotype (held by both men and women) that women who engage in casual sex have low self-esteem, explains evolutionary social psychologist Jaimie Arona Krems. The underlying assumption: Women who have casual sex don’t really want it; they’re just settling for it. However, Krems and her colleagues find that this insulting stereotype persists even when women are “explicitly described as choosing to have casual sex.” The researchers surveyed participants (about their own self-esteem and their perception of others’) using the generally accepted definition of selfesteem: “feeling good about oneself and having a solid sense of one’s self-worth.” The stereotype — that women have casual sex because their self-worth is in the dumpster — “appears to be unfounded.” (Women’s “sexual behavior was not significantly correlated with their self-esteem.”) They speculate that the stereotype might stem from evolutionary “mismatch”: our living in a modern world with a sometimes-outdated psychological operating system. The psychology guiding us today evolved back when locked knees were the only reliable birth control. It would’ve served ancestral women with high mate value — those with their pick of men — to hold out for commitment before having sex (and possibly offspring) with a man. Thus, we might have “default assumptions that women pursue casual sex only when committed sex is unavailable to them.” (In simple terms, despite all the birth control technology of today, the dial of human psychology is still set to “slut shaming.”) As for your situation, assuming the rumors aren’t just “guy-perbole,” maybe your girlfriend worked her way through the soccer boys not because she’s a human broken toy but because she’s hot, enjoys sex, and wanted some naked fun while looking for her Mr. Boyfriend. What does this say about her? Well, after the initial steamy phase of the relationship, the sort of animal she’s most like in bed probably won’t be shrink-wrapped supermarket salmon.