A 1950's childhood in moss side Walt Disney was evil ( And blue smoke) By David Hulson
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I never gave it a thought,because you just don't notice these things till there pointed out to you, and then you can't help looking, Our kid Roger, was born with ears that stuck out , growing up nobody ever said a thing , but deep inside it must have affected him ,and when he got to the age of going to primary school ,that's where the taunts started. "So I think he blames that American Chap , Walt Disney and his cartoon of an Elephant who sneezed so hard his ears exploded into a pair of wings" Hey Dumbo, Wing nut , Butterfly bolt, Taxi , he had all these name shouted at him ,and he really became self conscious about his appearance , then it was noticed he took to wearing his Balaclava a hell of a lot ,even when it wasn't cold. Mum said Roger what's wrong with me ,I remember him saying , But a cuddle off your Mother does not make your problem go away.
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There ,there it'll be alright was all ways the reply , Till one day after Mum caught him crying , she realised something had to be done for her son who was now getting quite depressed ,and was refusing to leave the house in case his class mates saw him. "remember the time when you didn't need an appointment to see a doctor" That's it said Mum ,get your coat on Roger we're going to see Doctor Willis , David you stay here with your Dad . Okay I'll go and watch him down in the cellar. The door closed and they were gone. going down them steep wooden step an holding tight on the rail, was a two handed job for an 8 year old , Dad I shouted where are you . I'm in the back cellar, why! Said the disembodied voice. Mum said you've got to look after me because she's gone to the Doctors with Roger. . 3
Alright come in here ,said Dad but don't touch anything. So what are you doing I said as I poked my head around the corner and looked into the back cellar. Sit over there ,and don't move and don't touch anything ,he said. I will, I won't, alright, I replied ,so what are you doing. And don't talk ,said dad. Okay ! But ! I'm putting an engine from a lawn mower onto a push bike frame. Why ! Because I think it'll work ,It's a direct chain drive over the rear wheel , With an adjustable choke lever . Will it work ! Here goes he said , petrol on choke open, then with the thing on blocks he peddled like hell, blue smoke belched into the room and the rear wheel spun around ,and in such a small space the noise was deafening. Screaming at the top of my lungs , I'm going back upstairs , I don't thing he heard me are even saw me leave the room, through the smoke and the noise . 4
In the upstairs back room I flopped down into Dads comfy armchair with my comic and waited for Mums return, It must of been 45 minutes later when the front door closing woke me up. Where's your dad said Mum. Down stairs I said . Mum opened the cellar door and looked at the blue haze drifting upwards, And heard the chugging sound of an engine ticking over. Arthur ,Arthur ! She shouted turn it all off and get up here ,......now. "When Mum puts a ....now ! after a sentence she actually saying or else!" Dad came up whipping his hands. Get a wash before you sit down she said to him. Right she said , I've seen Dr Willis and she's going to make an appointment at the hospital for Roger to get things sorted for him. It must have been a couple of weeks later when Mum and Roger went to the Royal, As an appointment was made for him to go in for an operation to fix his ears. I seamed like ages before he went in ,and it was an overnighter job on his ears,
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When he came home his head was swathed in white bandages, I think he was pleased with the bandages as it meant he didn't have to wear his balaclava any more, and to all the other kids in the school it was a talking point. Oh you must have been brave ! ,did it hurt ! Now he was the hero ,who went through hell and back , And when the dressings finally came off ........He was dead chuffed . His ears were flat, and that little bit of cartilage behind both ears that made them stick out had gone.
What a change it made to him his confidence improved he became more sure of himself ,and he never wore a balaclava again.
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As for Dad and that Lawnmower bike ,he was finally stopped from using it on Alexandra road by the police ,on one of them Noddy bikes for going too fast, and not being able to slow down or stop when told to do so by a police officer. "In them days you didn't argue with a copper , and tickets and fines were a rare thing" On the test bed in the cellar dad could reach the petrol off switch easily and adjust the choke controls , also the brakes were not powerful enough, but on his maiden outing he could not reach either, Till the day he died he was convinced he Invented the first moped. Mum just looked at him and said ,your lucky you didn't kill yourself ,you daft bugger! Thieving sods Honda !
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