Kansas Andy boys Make the Hoosier State

Their sense of humor is legendary – and quirky. Stories are told far and wide of their tongue-in-cheek pranks. And yet, often the instigators themselves will do no more than crack a smile. It’s the onlookers that will be roaring out loud. They are the Kansas Andy boys.

These inimitable men grew up in Kansas and this was the first arena for their wide array of practical jokes. The stories, however, have drifted back to the Hoosier State and are passed around with relish.

The crew goes sneaking down the dirt road late Friday night, looking for the gate to Corn Cob Calvin’s cows. The plan is to open the gate to the pasture and herd the sleepy Holsteins onto the road. The boys – Sammy, Mose, and Henry – feel fairly safe since a passing car is a rare occurrence.

The brothers open the gate and with a bit of encouragement, the 30 cows who were in the field are soon sufficiently scattered along the road enjoying the fresh grazing and waking up fast.

It’s Henry’s turn. He runs up to the door of the farm house fast enough that he is out of breath when he pounds on the door. Being breathless is part of his plan.

Henry pounds on the door with enough urgency that the sleeping farmer wakes in just a few minutes. He comes to the door groggy and with trepidation. There are only a few reasons someone would pound on his door at 11:30 p.m., and none of them are good.

Corn Cob Calvin soon recognizes the puffing form of the lad from the next section over.

“What’s the matter, Henner?”

“Did you know your cows are out and grazing along the road?” Henry inquires, all concern now.

“Oh, no!” groans the farmer “I’ll get my boots on and be right out.”

This will mean waking his reluctant wife, running around on the road chasing frisky cows and perhaps fixing a fence before he sees his warm bed again.

Henry comforts him, though. “My two brothers and I will stay and help you get them back in.”

When the farmer and his half-awake wife come stumbling down the driveway to the road, they are much relieved to see three husky, straight-faced boys available to assist with the chasing.

The youngsters even generously offer to go through the pasture and loop around the cows in order to surround the now frisky bovines.

“You two just stay here and don’t let them get past you,” the energetic lads instruct Calvin and his yawning wife.

Three young men slip under the barbed fence and go bounding around the far end of the herd. In a few moments the group of cows reverses direction and is hustled back toward the resident farmers. With the resolute couple forming a barricade across the escape route ahead of them and three shouting lads behind, the cows have little choice but to file reluctantly back into their pasture.

“Wow, is that ever a relief,” sighs Corn Cob Calvin as he latches the chain on the gate. This could have been a long night. Thank you boys so much for all your help.”

“Yes, I don’t know what we would have done without you,” gushes Calvin’s wife. “You boys must come in for a snack, since we’re all awake now anyway.”

The lads, eyes twinkling only slightly, quickly accept and are treated to tea, milk, and some delicious cookies in the farmer’s kitchen as a repayment for their kind, generous deed.

Loren Beachy is an auctioneer and real estate broker with Bright Star Realty and Auctions in Middlebury. He was formerly an elementary school teacher at a local parochial school teacher for eight years. Some of his stories were written a few years ago while teaching. He enjoys fast horses, hot peppers, and strong coffee.

Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.

Variety

Beta Riding Tack

The composite decking solutions company.

Composite decking lasts longer than wood decking.

Composite decking requires less maintenance than wood decking, and it costs less over its lifetime.

Our composite decking is produced using recycled materials and processes that reuse water and waste.

Composite decking is safer.

Composite Railing

Choose from multiple color and profile options at a variety of price points, to fit any budget. Fiberon composite railing is manufactured using recycled plastics and can be cut with the same tools used to cut wood.

Aluminum Railing

With clean sight lines and a premium powdercoat finish, our metal railing is perfect for creating a modern look. Pre-welded post bracket designs make the railing easy to install, and the material is highly tolerant to drastic temperature fluctuations.