FALL 2010
LIBERATEDLEARNERS
15 years ago Joshua Hornick and Ken Danford (in glasses), teachers in middle school at the time, hatched a plan and Pathfinder Learning Center was born. It consisted of three small office rooms in Amherst, MA. Ken no longer wears this sweater vest, sadly.
15 Years!
By Ken Danford, Executive Director
Fifteen years! We’re hosting our allalumni reunion in November, and I’m looking forward to seeing the people who have been part of our history. This event gives us a moment to review how far we have come. North Star’s collective experience is an impressive story: two disillusioned teachers created a program that has supported hundreds of teens and families to trust themselves, leave school, and embark on the unknown journey of self-directed learning. We have welcomed all interested families, and we have contributed to meaningful transformation in many lives. Longterm readers of Liberated Learners are in an excellent position to appreciate the impact of our work, and we are gratified to know that our work has inspired people in many ways far beyond teen education.
The North Star saga features many overlapping eras. Only a special few remember Pathfinder’s first three-room office, and how we turned an unfinished basement into our home for the next six years. Many more of you were part of our transition to Hadley, with the incorporation of North Star and the move to a relatively pleasant and professional office space. Now, our current members see our grand, historic building as the natural home for North Star. Each backward glance makes us ask, “How did we ever do it the old way?” Among the many participants in North Star’s history, there are two current staff members whom I want to raise up for special recognition as we celebrate 15 years. At our reunion, it will be John Sprague and Ellen Morbyrne who will have interacted
with and known the most members. They have been part of every era, every role, every vision. I feel fortunate to have held on to their regular presence almost year in and year out over the entire fifteen-year history. I appreciate the current Board of Directors, staff, and members, who make it possible for me to announce, “North Star is healthier now than it has ever been.” For me, resigning my teaching position and leaping into the unknown of North Star and homeschooling has been life-changing in much the same way that it has been for our members. For the past fifteen years I have looked forward to every Monday and every work day. I am grateful to everyone who has shared this experience and made it possible. See all you alumni on November 27th!
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The best year of my life By Aly Sheedy, current member
At North Star, we often like to describe how we help young teens leave school and get a major head start on life. In this issue, we are featuring a different story. Aly Sheedy endured an unhappy schooling career through her junior year of high school before leaving and joining North Star at age 17. Last year was her first happy year in a long time, and she’s not ready to move on quite so fast. Her story is one of slowing down, taking some time for oneself, absorbing the security, confidence, and good feeling that come from being in the right place. Even more, her story is about openness to change. Aly arrived at North Star excited but also wary, and she had to decide to take the risk of talking with our staff and opening herself to the possibility that some adults might be ready and able to support her on her own terms. That decision, and her leap of faith in acting on it, still gives me chills. She took a risk, nurtured new relationships, and allowed herself to grow. North Star had an active and important role, but it was only possible in response to Aly’s choice to embrace us. Now, Aly’s choice to share her experience in such detail in this essay provides me with enough inspiration to hold North Star together for another fifteen years. - Ken Danford
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ver since pre-school I can remember protesting about having to attend school every day. Even so, my family kept insisting that school was the right way to go, andBenthat I had Photo: Rosser to go whether I liked it or not. I always felt that in school children never had enough time to think, observe, or have quiet time by themselves. It was never so much about actual learning as it was about rushing through assignments and completing statemandated tests. You sit there, day after day, going through the same old routine, and your only real goal is to make it through. You don’t spend your days thinking, dreaming, feeling, or planning. What you really learn is how to go through the motions. One of my earliest memories from school was the summer after 3rd grade. It was the last day of the school year, the bell had just rung, and my classmates and I ran out of our room to meet up with our parents. We found that every class in the building had begun to spill out of their rooms, stuffing up the halls like herds of cattle.
Immediately, some children began chanting, “We’re free! We’re free!” Even at my young age, and with all the excitement going on around me, these words made me pause. Yes it was great, wonderful even, not to have to worry about school for what felt like forever. “But, why?” I asked myself. Why does it have to be this way? The adults say they set these places up for us so that we can come and learn, but all we end up wishing for is to leave. We run away like we can’t get out of here fast enough! Why do they make it so that we all hate it here? Wasn’t there a better way? And if so, why not put it into action? The thing I hate most about school is that not only does it drive children away from learning but over the years, it has trained -- or tricked -- kids (and parents) into believing that children should hate learning. And that it’s normal for kids to shy away from any work or experience that is remotely academic. During school, I always felt like somewhat of a loner -but in a good way. Someone who wanted to go off and be by herself, and live on her own schedule, often enjoying smaller groups of friends rather than large hectic classrooms. Socially, when I entered high school, things became particularly frustrating for me. I began to notice greater impatience and hostility that students had towards each other. Too many young people crowded together, forced into spending their days doing things they didn’t want to. It led to people being emotionally driven in negative ways: egotistical, unwelcoming, and prideful. It was no place to live out one’s adolescence. Again, I protested to family and even to my guidance counselor, but for the longest time all anyone ever told me was, “Oh, don’t worry. It takes time. You’ll get used to it.” And sadly, I did get used to it. Depression and feelings of self-hate came daily. After years of hopelessly dragging along in school, I felt like nothing I did or wanted to do would ever matter. My grades began to suffer and, perhaps most importantly, I felt truly alone, like everyone else could conform to the system perfectly and I couldn’t. Having felt this way for most of my life, I began to believe there was something wrong with me that could not be fixed. I began to lose what little connection I had with people. I became hopelessly shy and socially awkward, and it began to feel right to feel so alone. There were some days when I would not speak at all. One day we, as juniors, were scheduled to attend a lecture with a career instructor. At random, he picked me out of the crowd to ask, “So, what do you think you’d like to do? What would you be good at? What would you be good for out in the world?” I had no idea what to really say, having never been asked that before in my life. Before I could think of anything to say, one of my classmates loudly blurted out “SEX” for the entire class to hear. I could never explain to you how rotten it felt.
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After the brunch, I was hooked! Convinced that this would be a good choice for me, I urged my mother to set up a meeting with Ken. She did, albeit hesitantly, still not sure what to think about a soon-to-be high school senior dropping out of school. Luckily for both of us, we had a welcoming group of staff members and parents to let us know we were making a good decision. Our meeting with Ken went quickly, but well. When we were finished and just talking, he – noticing my interest in the calendar of classes – invited me to stay and try North Star out for the rest of the day. I told him I would rather come tomorrow, and I did. I walked in shy and anxious; I left feeling happy and warmhearted. People I had never met before happily welcomed me into their world. By the end of the day, I found myself having plans for the next day also: to go on a North Star hiking trip. I went and had a blast. Despite my positive experiences with North Star I came in September nervous about how things would play out, particularly for my future. I realized I was inexperienced in how to plan my days on my own. I ended up taking several classes in the first month just to make myself feel like I was doing something familiar and right. It took me until about October before I could settle into my own routine and let myself feel confident about my personal schedules and dreams. As time went on, I began to realize how nonjudgmental North Star really is. Kids aren’t divided up by their age or how cool they are. Everyone works, plays, and learns together with everyone, and we can all, for the most part, get along. Last year was by far the best year of my life. I know I did more in one North Star year that I ever would have, had I spent it in school. I ended up picking, and stayed with, only the classes that meant something to me, like Writing Workshop, Math Crew, Art, and Sex, Love, and Relationships. I went on several trips (including one to Harvard College), organized drawing sessions with Wing (a tutor at North Star), and read over 30 books. I passed my GED, joined at least three different theatre clubs in my local area, and assisted a college senior in preparing a Tuberculosis exhibit for her final project, did countless other things, none of which would have happened without North Star. Now here I am, beginning my second year at North Star and finding myself busier than ever. Before I came to North Star I never realized how much I loved to read and, in turn, how interested I was in writing. Attending Writing Workshop has turned out to be a great asset to my personal writing goals; my sense of what it means to be a writer deepens more and more as I enter each class. I’ve learned (and continue to learn) about the trials, discipline, and rigor it takes to write on one’s own. One important and helpful part of Writing Workshop is the time you spend sharing your work aloud, asking for personal feedback while also being prepared to give feedback to other writers. At the start I felt very frightened and skeptical about this part of the workshop, but towards the very end of the year I began (cont. on next page)
LIBERATEDLEARNERS FALL 2010
That was it. I was done. I couldn’t live another second within those walls. I was sick of feeling dumb, alone, and useless. I knew I deserved more out of life and it was high time I stopped waiting around for things to get better. My mother began to finally see the toll school was taking on me. We knew things needed to change, yet for the longest time we didn’t know what we could do. I was a junior, with only one year of traditional schooling left. It was clear that the safest route would be to stick it out for my final year. We had looked into other schools, but for various reasons we couldn’t manage transferring. I even considered taking a few community college classes through my high school, just to get out of there as often as I could. But even that was failure waiting to happen: On the day I went to visit a community college, I entered the gates and began to sob. I saw the overwhelming campus, the even larger walls trapping in older students. I thought of all the classes and the overload of work I would have to do even when I had no passion for it. I couldn’t do it, not full time anyway. Somehow, though, fate brought me unexpectedly into North Star’s arms. One weekend my mother and I took a day trip. As we drove along Route 9, I had a perfect view of North Star from the passenger seat. The banner, hanging from the outer wall, read, “Considering an alternative to middle or high school? Contact North Star…” Excitement rushed through me. Without knowing anything about North Star, I quickly took down the name and number. When I got home and looked up the website, what I saw there only seemed to deepen my woes. I read very clearly that this place was not a school but a center for homeschoolers. My brain instinctively went to the typical stereotype of a homeschooler: staying home all day; a mother teaching Math, a father teaching History. No friends. Even if I went to a center, I knew I could never live that way. My mother works outside the home, and I stopped having a father long ago. Besides, I was sick of being alone. I wanted friends. I told myself it could never work. Thank goodness my story doesn’t stop there! My aunt, who was aware of and sympathetic to the troubles I was having in school, told me she knew about North Star because her friends’ child went there. She began telling me how good an alternative it ended up being for him, and she invited me and my mother to North Star’s annual fundraising brunch. At the brunch, we listened to Ken stand up and speak about how, when, and why he co-founded North Star. Some members and alumni had their turn to speak also. It was a truly inspiring day for me, hearing everyone speak openly and honestly about how messed up schools can be, while never veering off topic or sounding angry or unprofessional. Many of North Star’s philosophies resonated with me, particularly number four of the Guiding Principles: “How people act under one set of circumstances and assumptions does not predict how they will act under a different set of circumstance and assumptions.”
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writing workshop. She has also acted as my guidance counselor, in a way. With time we’ve bonded so well that, even during the summer, we’ve made efforts to rearrange our schedules so that we could continue our traditional once-a-week meetings, talking about a wide range of topics from personal writing to the dramas of daily life. I’ve even bonded with Ken Danford (co-founder and head honcho here at North Star) from time to time over the past year! I’ve spent time walking, washing, and even part-time babysitting his dog, Banjo. How many other teens can say that about their principal?! What makes North Star so special for teenagers is that you don’t come in as a student in need of a grade, class, or assignment, but as a member, a person. One whom people value and want to get to know. All of us here who have been in school definitely feel saved and/or inspired by the trust and companionship North Star bringsWilderness to us. I thinkClass that’s why so many kids of all ages and interests seem to flock here: it’s a universal desire to be loved, supported, and accepted for who you are. That’s something I believe people (teenagers especially) nowadays are desiring most of all.
LIBERATEDLEARNERS FALL 2010
(Aly’s essay continued from page 3) to grow more confident and open with what I have written. I hope to share more of my writing with our group this year, even if it doesn’t come out perfectly the first time. I’m currently working on several stories, including two that I’ve dwelled upon for about a year now. I’m also involved in other classes including Philosophy, Massachusetts History, Sex, Love, and Relationships, and Meditation. On Wednesdays, I usually spend quiet time at home, drawing, reading, or writing, although sometimes I do volunteer work at a soup kitchen in Amherst called Not Bread Alone. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I’m able to continue my love for theatre by attending a community college course in the art of stagecraft. The main contrast I’ve noticed between conventional schools and North Star is the staff. In school, teachers are viewed as authority figures rather than role models or mentors. At North Star, the members know the staff much better than school children know their teachers. Over the past year, for instance, a friendship has formed between me and Susannah Sheffer, the staff member who runs the
NEWS & NOTES SUPER DUPER SPECIAL OPEN HOUSE
As part of our 15-year anniversary celebration weekend, we’re hosting an open house on Nov. 27th at 1pm. It’ll be open to the public, press, and current family members and will feature a panel of our esteemed alumni. We figured since they’ll be in town for Thanksgiving and the reunion anyway, why not grab a couple of them so they can share their stories with people who should hear them? Please join us if you can!
REUNION!
Also on Nov. 27. we’ll be hosting our first-ever reunion! Some of our alumni are approaching 30 (gulp) and are coming from across the country. We are more than excited to see them all again! COLLEGE ADMISSIONS PANEL
One of the first things teens and their parents want to talk about when they consider North Star is how their ability to go to college will be impacted. We know that it’s impacted positively and that we
MEET ELLEN
have a higher rate of college acceptance then most schools, but we thought it’d be nice for parents and teens to hear it from the experts. So, we’re hosting a panel of admissions officers from New England colleges on Nov. 10 at 7pm to answer any and all questions families have about the admissions process. The event will be open to the public and the panelists will be prepared to answer specific homeschooler questions. We’re so excited to be able to offer this kind of evening to our community!
North Star is over-the-moon happy to introduce you to our newest staff member, Ellen Morbyrne. Ellen is our new Operations Manager, which means she Gets Stuff Done. She is also a North Star alum, a Smith graduate, a mother and wife, a yogini, and a theater teacher. Besides the yoga and theater she teaches, the friendly smile at the door she supplies, and the abundant administrative skills she possesses, Ellen is uniquely beloved by our members and has been affectionately nicknamed, “The One Who Eats Souls.”
and Finn. We’re pretty happy to have him around too.
Her arrival has brought a new motto to North Star, uttered by everyone else on staff regularly: “Ask Ellen first!” Catherine, our Program Director, couldn’t be happier. Welcome Ellen!
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As an immigrant, I met a lot of difficulties when I started school in a new country. Luckily, I received tremendous help from everyone around me. So I understand how much a learner needs support to start learning in a different environment.
TEACHER PROFILES
WING LIANG
I started teaching at North Star three years ago, where I could give back to the community by applying my knowledge and also could support teens to learn in an alternative way. I started as a Chinese teacher and now I also teach math and drawing.
As a freshman Anthropology student at Umass, I kept thinking about the inaccuracy and disparity in how I had been taught history and culture in high school, and how I was being taught the same material at the college level. Frustrated, I thought: “Why didn't I learn this in high school?” I vowed to find a way of teaching these incredibly valuable lessons in understanding the world to teens. I began an introductory Anthropology class at North Star and also a “200-level” class of this material called “Applied Anthropology” where we take the skills and understandings about the human condition we developed in the Anthropology class, and learn how to apply them to critically thinking about the problems and issues in the world the students are most passionate about. Based on student interest, I also teach workshops on Chinese medicine, Sustainability, and a practical meditation skills class called “Jedi Academy” I also tutor a range of subjects like Ancient History and Classical Civilizations, Alternative Medicine, and Electronic music. I love working with bright young minds and showing them deeper and richer ways of seeing the world. The light sparkling in their eyes when they ”get” the material is priceless, especially when I see them applying those insights in their daily lives.
I really enjoy working with teens at North Star; they always bring me joys, give me positive energies, and motivate my spirits. Their passion for learning always sparks my interest in teaching. I value the opportunity particularly as a staff member at North Star.
Our Wish List • • • • • • • • • • • •
quality bookcases hard & thumb drives floor refinishing art supplies nice, big, dark rug polaroid camera audio recorder framing services indoor plants come in and paint walls a HUGE flat screen TV gardening tools
If you have or know of how to get any of these items, please contact Catherine Gobron at (413) 582-0193 or catherine@northstarteens.org
CRAIG SURETTE
FAN MAIL from a recent alum Dear Ken,
I’m very grateful for my time at North Star. North Star had a huge impact on me and my attitude towards learning – something that I think will stay with me my whole life. Thank you for your help with everything while I was at North Star. Thank you for North Star itself. Most importantly though, thank you for sitting down with my parents twelve years ago and for helping to convince them that they weren’t crazy to take me out of school and allow me to rediscover my love of learning. Best wishes and many thanks, Name Withheld
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7PRINCIPLES that inform our work Tlatzolkalli
Sean Meyer
alum parent
alum parent
I was relieved when Dexter decided to go to North Star instead of attending eighth grade. I had read about homeschooling, and, philosophically at least, I was a supporter. On Dexter's first day at North Star he wanted to go to the movies. He continued to liberally explore his newfound freedoms, like going out for pizza and generally goofing off. I thought all of this was natural. I expected Dexter to take some time off. Besides, it sounded like Dex had some big plans for himself. I was sure it would be fine.
Big decisions in life are sometimes born out of necessity. Sometimes it comes down to realizing and acting on a simple truth. For me and Susan, the simple truth was that our son, Jonah, is not cut out for sitting in a classroom 6 hours a day listening to other people talk. Toward the end of elementary school, just as his mind was really taking off, school seemed to be sucking the life out of him. In the second grade they gave him a cushion to sit on to keep him in his chair. It didn’t work. Finally the teacher gave up and let him stand when “he needed to.” In sixth grade he graduated to running on top of the desks in what I think, in retrospect, was a fairly epic attempt to get someone’s damn attention.
3. It really is OK to leave school.
But by the second semester, none of Dexter's big plans had materialized. Despite my belief in self-directed learning, I was getting very nervous. I began to question whether we had done the right thing. Meanwhile, Dexter was thriving. He seemed happier and more confident than I had ever seen him, and he was easier to be with at home. I knew I had to stick it out for him, despite the challenges for me.
Many young people who are miserable in school – academically or socially – stay because they believe that leaving school will rule out (or at least diminish) the possibility of a successful future. We believe that young people can achieve a meaningful and successful adulthood without going to school. We’ve seen it happen, over and over again.
Eventually Dexter’s time at North Star changed into something new. As Dexter hung out with other teens who held passions of their own, he learned to discover his own core passion. He is in love with math. Now, at age 16, he is enrolled full time at Greenfield Community College, a natural decision for him. He plans to graduate in two years with an Associate’s Degree in Engineering. As a parent, it is much easier to explain why Dexter isn't in high school, now that he's in college. But it was his time away from school that, as uncomfortable as it was for me, was so important for him. Without it, Dexter may have never had the chance to find out for himself who he really is and what his true passions are.
Our son was miserable, like a caged, bored animal, being held back from his potential, his life. We refused to accept that Jonah was simply misbehaving. Like many, Jonah suffers the wonderful burden of an active mind. Middle school was approaching -- more rules, more sitting in a classroom. The decision was clear. OK, so we knew something had to change. But what happens when that decision clashes with certain facts of life? Like death and taxes, going to school is a “fact of life” ,something everyone does, right? We chose to challenge this notion and examine the implications. We asked hard questions. We kept an open mind. Importantly we accepted that we did not know all the answers, like what will become of our boy, will he be able to make
it in the world? We went with the classic parenting fallback -- we agreed to make it up as we went along, confident in the fundamental decision to leave school. After adjusting to life outside of school (which took longer than we would have liked), Jonah flourished. He is happier and more intellectually curious than ever before and many of his interests that had been suppressed by school came rushing back. But this is a work in progress and when it comes right down to it, the measure of Jonah, the life he chooses to lead,and our success as parents, will have very little to do with whether he went to school. We have raised a kind, thoughtful, fun, and caring person. He is going to be okay and that is the simple truth.
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Alexander Blaustein
Sarah Reid
current member
North Star Outreach Director
While in school I was miserable. When I dropped out of Keeping up with school work high school in my senior consumed me, and being the only one year, I had a GPA of 1.6. I who cared about the work I felt had missed 42 days in my detached from my peers. I was always sophomore year alone. On the kid yelling “be quiet” as I tried to get my work done. The angrier one of my report cards (that was covered in C’s) I got at them, the angrier they got at me, and the more I was ignored my guidance counselor had written “No D’s! and ridiculed. I was trying to be better than them, and didn’t want to Great!” sink to their level. I put up a hard shell and mostly kept to myself. Over the course of my middle and high school Finally, sick of being with years my natural passion for people who wanted nothing to learning (which was abundant in do with me, I decided 4. How people behave in one set of elementary school) had been something had to change. With slowly squished out of me. I left circumstances and assumptions the support of my family, I school with no self-esteem, does not predict how they will began to homeschool and unsure of my behave under a very different set of uninspired, independently. But I found that future. circumstances and assumptions. the pressure I was putting on When, two years later, I enrolled myself was as bad as the at Greenfield Community College, pressure school had put on me. I was imagining my attendance to I was convinced that I needed be a dipping-of-the-toes kind of to hold myself to the same experiment, one that would School success or failure is not standards as I had been in probably fail given my previous necessarily a predictor of a child’s school. track record in the classroom. potential for success or failure outside The next year I decided to Happily, in my first semester I take a Theater class at North of school. An unmotivated student discovered Women’s Studies. I Star. I would get dropped off became a learning monster. I may become enthusiastic and right before and picked up consumed books, engaged in classes committed after she’s left school. A immediately after. But slowly I fully, talked late into the night with student who doesn’t thrive in a began to spend more time at friends I had made in class, and North Star and as I became classroom environment may become connected with my professors and familiar with the culture and advisors in ways I had never successful when allowed to learn philosophy, I realized that I imagined possible in high school. through apprenticeships or in onedidn’t need to just do “school at When I got a letter from the home” but that instead I could on-one tutorials. When we change Dean’s office saying that I was on focus my time and energy on the approach, the structure, and the his esteemed list, the Dean’s List, I things that were important to was shocked. Looking back on it assumptions, all kinds of other me. now, I see that in addition to changes often follow. At North Star, being different finding something I was truly wasn’t a bad thing and for the passionate about to study, it’s the first time I felt like I was around little things that made me able to people that accepted me. They looked at me not with contempt, but perform academically in a totally new way; not as someone with things to offer, allowing me to look at them in the having to ask to use a bathroom, being spoken to same way. At North Star being able to engage with others when and with respect and curiosity by people who were as much as I wanted to but then being able to be alone or in small more mentors than authority figures, and not groups when I needed it was crucial in helping me to work past feeling like a number. many of my social fears and assumptions. Eventually I graduated from Smith College as an Through North Star I have seen myself change from very Ada Comstock scholar on a full scholarship and withdrawn and inward--focused into a passionate and outgoing with a GPA of 3.89. One of the major reasons person. The hard shell I wore throughout school has finally come off why I love working at North Star is because of how and for the first time I can say I have a close group of friends and fundamentally I believe in, and experienced, our and feel comfortable in a group. I am happier now than ever before. Principle Number 4.
LIBERATEDLEARNERS FALL 2010
We are highlighting North Star’s 7 Guiding Principles by inviting community members to reflect on what they mean to them and how they have impacted their lives. Principles 1 and 2 appeared in our Spring 2010 issue (you can find it on our website). To read the complete list of principles, go here: http://northstarteens.org/guiding-principles/. In our next issue we will be featuring principles 5 and 6. If you are moved to write about either, please contact Jonah at jonahmeyer@gmail.com.
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HELP SUPPORT NORTH STAR We’ve been changing lives for 15 years! We are committed to our policy of making membership available to any family, regardless of their ability to pay our full fee. North Star receives NO state or institutional funding. Individual donations help keep our doors open to any interested family.
Thank you for your generosity!
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North Star is a project of Learning Alternatives, Inc., a non-profit corporation under Massachusetts Law and Section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code.
Contributions to North Star are taxdeductible. Please mail your donation to: North Star 135 Russell St. Hadley, MA 01035
SUPER SPECIAL OPEN HOUSE with ALUMNI PANEL!
November 27 at 1pm Come hear from real live adult North Star alumni! Marvel at their accomplishments and reflections! Ask them questions! For the entire year’s open house schedule go to northstarteens.org/open-houses
This newsletter was put together and made to look beautiful by recent alum Jonah Meyer and Outreach Director Sarah Reid.