Interview with

Down Day

Courtney Jayd Lumsden talks mental health and music with Lowri Llewelyn…

The Covid-19 pandemic affected each and every one of us in our own unique way. Here in Wales we’ve endured three lockdowns, and though this proximity to loved ones may have driven us barmy at times, for many it proved essential to maintaining a positive frame of mind.

However, singer-songwriter Courtney Jayd Lumsden found herself struggling without her support system while living in Luxembourg and unable to fly home.

“I was always thinking: maybe next week,” says the singer-songwriter who is from Pentre, Flintshire. “Then, before we knew it, a week had turned into a year. That’s when the anxiety got worse – imagine if this goes on for two, three, four, five years? It was

the first time I’d ever spent Christmas away from

my family.”

Alongside working as an events organiser, Courtney records, produces and releases her own music. Inspiration for the new single Down Day came one sleepless night. “Until it’s actually happening to us, I don’t think we know how powerful the brain is and how important it is to take care of it,” she says.

Symptoms of Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) can be both physical and psychological, ranging from a sense of dread and restlessness to dizziness and heart palpitations. “Your body goes into fight or flight mode and

triggers a panic attack. It scared me so much – I didn’t know what was happening.”

The pandemic has exacerbated symptoms for those already living with a mental health condition, according to a July 2021 report by Mind Cymru. It found that 83% of adults surveyed had experienced mental distress or accessed mental health services, while this number increased to 91% for young people aged 13-24.

“I’m usually worried about something that hasn’t happened and probably won’t happen, or might not happen – the ‘don’t knows’ and the ‘maybes’. When you’re in an anxious place, ‘don’t know’ isn’t an answer. You can’t accept that answer.

“My anxiety comes on if I spend too much time on the computer, don’t get enough fresh air, or eat well. I tend to slip back into bad habits and forget about self-care until my anxiety reminds me. It’s not an overnight thing; it’s gradual, creeping up on me slowly, until all of a sudden I’m in the middle of a full-blown burn out. Down Day is about coming to terms with anxiety, giving yourself space and time to understand it.”

The single has already enjoyed some success, receiving air time on BBC Radio Merseyside. “Alone is a scary place,” adds Courtney. “I wanted people to listen to this song and think, bottom of my garden, jump, and just fly!,” explains Courtney.

“I’d have this bird’s eye view of my brothers and sisters playing in the garden. As I got older, I didn’t have the dream anymore.”

‘But lately there’s too many clouds’ suggests there’s too many clouds in Courtney’s mind, while ‘Looking for the blue’ refers to a meditation lesson on Headspace, which says that behind the grey there is always a blue sky. Finally, ‘Just another down day’ emphasises what helps Courtney recover: “understanding that it’s nothing more than just feeling anxious and just a bad day. There are good days and this one’s just a bad day.”

With regards to the music video for Down Day, which can be found on YouTube, Courtney says: “I chose the muddy lake and grey skies because if the feeling was a surrounding then that’s what it would be for me. I purposely did not do my hair or make-up as I feel the lyrics and music are honest and vulnerable, and I wanted to continue that theme. Raising awareness about mental health is more important to me than looking good on a screen.”

With NHS funding remaining woefully inadequate, particularly in the mental health sector, it’s easy to feel isolated in our struggles. However, as Courtney reiterates: “You might feel very alone and that’s the scariest part, but you’re not and once you know that, it gets easier.” n

‘Oh, it’s not just me.’ The feedback has definitely made me

feel more positive and keen to help with the mental health community.”

Despite being denied physical access to her support system, Whatsapp and social media have managed to close some of the distance between Courtney and her loved ones. “Talking helped, with four people in particular: my older sister Michelle is a mental health nurse and my rock. My little sister Jodie is my best friend, then there’s my Hawarden High School friends, Jess and Rachel. Anxiety can feel like you’re losing it but when you realise you’re not alone it helps put things into perspective.”

She’s also discovered which self-soothing methods work for her. “Meditation has worked wonders, the app ‘Headspace’ in particular being fantastic. Yoga. And music is a safe place, of course, because it takes my attention somewhere else. When my creative head comes on, everything else just eases, so if I’m sad I’ll write a sad song and instead of having a really bad moment it switches the situation around.”

‘I used to dream about floating in the sky, looking down’ is

just one of Down Day’s poignant lyrics. “It refers to a dream I had all the time when I was little; I’d climb up the slide at the

Down Day is available on Spotify now. Be sure to follow Courtney on Facebook and Instagram @cjaydoffical

For mental health resources and support contact Mind Cymru at 0300 123 3393

Lowri Llewelyn is a North Wales based journalist who is endlessly curious [read: nosy] and loves everything to do with this beautiful region that she is lucky enough to call home.