Planning a Funeral

Creating a dementiafriendly funeral

In the UK, there are currently around 900,000 people with dementia, and this is set to rise to 1.6 million people by 2040*. With September being World Alzheimer’s Month, we thought we’d share some information on how we are helping our clients as a Dementia Friend.

What is dementia?

Dementia describes a set of symptoms caused by different diseases that damage the brain. The symptoms can include: J Memory loss; J Confusion; J Problems with language and understanding; J Changes in behaviour. There are many types of dementia, however Alzheimer’s is the most common.

Should a person living with dementia be included in the funeral arrangements?

We believe that it can be possible to include someone living with dementia in the funeral arrangements and for them to attend the funeral. Dementia affects everyone differently and it is important we determine the level of support they will need from us. We have learnt, from undertaking our training with Dementia Friends, that people may forget facts and names but they don’t usually forget emotions that are tied to events. It is important to ask the person with dementia to share their memories of the person that has died so they feel included in the organising.

How do you organise a funeral with someone living with dementia?

As Funeral Directors, we work closely with the person conducting the service and those arranging the funeral. We will listen to the needs and wishes of the person living with dementia and will offer appropriate and sensitive choices. We will always adapt our approach based on the circumstances when communicating with someone living with dementia, to ensure they understand what is being discussed. To help with this, we may: J speak slowly; J use shorter sentences; J use plain English; J not use euphemisms; J repeat the question as often as needed; J make eye contact when talking; J use body language to emphasise what we have said. We would usually encourage to meet at their home, we find

this helps to keep the meeting relaxed. It may also allow the person living with dementia to have triggers available that will help including photos and music.

We actively encourage having someone in attendance that can support the person living with dementia who can take notes to refer back to after the initial meeting.

Should a person living with dementia attend a funeral?

The Alzheimer’s Society suggests that the person living with dementia shouldn’t be protected from the truth that someone has died. They recommend using body language to express sadness, hold their hand and provide comfort if they need it and to read sympathy cards together. At the funeral service, it can help to see the service sheet with a photo included of the person that has died. They may find being supported by

someone they know helps. n

* Source. https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-us/news-and-media/facts-media

Kelly Owen is the first female funeral director at Tom Owen and Son – an award-winning, family run, independent community Funeral Director situated in Llandudno. They provide a modern fresh approach to organising funerals that empowers you to have a unique funeral that is fitting for the person that has died. For more information, please get in touch with one of the team by calling 01492 860 280 or visit the blog and website at https://www.tomowenandson.com/