First published in the UK in 2024 by Nosy Crow Ltd Wheat Wharf, 27a Shad Thames, London, SE1 2XZ, UK
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Text copyright © Kieran Larwood, 2024
Cover and illustrations copyright © Joe Todd-Stanton, 2024
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ISBN: 978 1 83994 518 2
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To Eli – Zerb would not exist without you! K.L.
AND NOW LIVE ... TONIGHT'S EPISODE OF DUNGEON RUNNERS. Over to your hosts, Dirk the orc and Jenna the giant...
1 THE TRIAL
Welcome back, dungeon fans, to this week’s epic Dungeon Running action from the Master League! You join us as the teams are just about to enter the Armageddon Arena for the season final. If the Ultima Squad can come out on top, they will win the cup for a recordbreaking FIFTH YEAR IN A ROW!
1
But it may not be that easy, Dirk. Don’t forget that the Night Beasts are only two points behind them in the league! If they can get out of the dungeon first, or maybe find that precious loot, they may scoop the win and knock Ultima into second place.
That’s
don’t
right, Jenna. And also
forget the sweet two points either team could earn by defeating the dungeon boss. Any idea what the monster is this time?
2
I heard a rumour that it was a FIRE-BREATHING HYDRA, Dirk. But my money’s on a return of the GIANT WEREELEPHANT we saw last year. That sure was a battle to remember!
It
certainly was, Jenna. And it looks like today’s match is going to be just as nail-biting. I’ve brought plenty of spare undercrackers, j ust in case. Hey, look! The teams are getting ready... This is going to be awesome!
3
“Awesome,” Kit whispered. He was sitting in the inn, just up the road from his house, watching the show on their super large crystal screen. Kit could see the National Dungeon League commentators, Jenna the giant and Dirk the orc, standing in front of a ruined castle – the site of this evening’s Dungeon Run.
Torches blazed all around them, glinting on Jenna’s chainmail armour and lighting up Dirk’s bright green skin. Soon, the teams would walk out, waving at the fans – Kit’s favourite part. If only he had a better view.
Nearly everyone else from Kit’s street was squashed into the poky room, and he had just managed to
4
find himself a tiny scrap of space on the floor, crushed in against the wall.
Being a gnorf – part gnome, part dwarf – he was much smaller than the folk around him, who were mostly bulky troll-like creatures called troggles, so – luckily – he didn’t need much space.
Kit had to squint round several pairs of boots and chair legs, but he could almost see what was going on. How he wished his family was rich enough to afford a crystal of their own, so he could watch Dungeon Running from his bedroom.
Name: Kleekoo
Species: Gobrot
Combat skills: 5/100
Magic Power: 2/100
“Nikkik krik klikklak! ” came a squeaky little voice from a hole in the wall next to him. Bending down, Kit saw a tiny creature, no bigger than his hand, with green skin, pointy ears and a mouth full of sharp fangs. It was Kleekoo, his gobrot friend.
Cleverness: 60/100
Fame: 0/100
“Yes, I know,” Kit replied. “I hope the Ultima Squad wins too. I’m saving up to buy a poster of Lord Studly. He was the league’s Most Valued Player last season.”
Kit reached out and helped Kleekoo climb out of the wall.
The little creature’s whole family lived under the inn, all of them as small as rabbits. Although Kit knew gobrots in dungeons could grow much bigger. He’d seen them battle against Dungeon Runners on the crystal screen many times.
“Oh, look,” a mean voice came from somewhere up above him. It was Breg, the horrible troggle who lived next door to Kit and wouldn’t ever leave him alone.
Name: Breg
Species: Troggle
Combat skills: 45/100
Magic Power: 0/100
Cleverness: 5/100
Fame: 0/100
“The little kitten has found himself a green mouse to play with.
Why don’t you take it out into the street where you belong? This inn is for grown-ups who want to watch the match in peace, not snot-nosed toddlers.”
“You’re only two years older than me, Breg,” Kit replied. “If I have to leave, then you do too.”
Breg was about to say something horrible back, when everybody in the inn gasped at once. Something was happening on the screen. Kit jumped up to see, holding Kleekoo up high so he could get a good look as well.
The Dungeon Run action had paused for a moment, while Dirk and Jenna, the commentators, were reading out an announcement.
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This is exciting stuff, Jenna!
But tragic, also, Dirk. Don’t forget that.
Oh yes, of course. Terrible news, folks. But exciting for some of you.
That’s true.
Because one of the teams in the Bottom Feeder League has sadly had an accident with a frost dragon.
10
Did anyone survive, Dirk?
Well, let’s just say it was DRAGON DINNER TIME , Jenna. So sad for those guys.
But really lucky for everyone else! There is now an opening for a new Dungeon Runner team. This is YOUR chance to enter the leagues and fight your way to the top!
That’s right, Jenna. In two weeks’ time there will be a Dungeon Trial. A contest that any team can enter, with the top prize being a place among the Bottom Feeders!
11
“Did you hear that?” Kit called up to Kleekoo. “A Dungeon Trial!
There hasn’t been one of those for years. There could be a new team to support!”
Kleekoo peered between Kit’s fingers and opened his mouth to squeak, but before he could say anything, Breg’s meaty hand clamped down on him, ripping him from Kit’s grasp.
“I said, get out into the street!” Breg shouted, and hurled poor, tiny Kleekoo out of the inn door.
“Kleekoo!” Kit
shouted, and dashed after him. He ran into the street, just in time to see his little friend splash down in a muddy puddle and begin flailing his tiny arms, trying to swim.
13
As fast as he could, Kit ran over and scooped the gobrot up. He patted Kleekoo on his back (very gently) in case he had swallowed muddy water.
Kleekoo coughed and spluttered, and began to shout some very angry things in the gobrot language, when he was interrupted by a chorus of laughter.
Breg was standing at the inn door with his two friends, the Lumber sisters, pointing and hooting, as if it was the funniest thing in all of Zerb.
“See?” Breg said in between chortles. “I told you that babies belonged in the street. The inn is for proper Dungeon Runners like us.”
“You’re not a Runner!” Kit shouted.
14
“You couldn’t get through a dungeon if it was made of paper and you had a pair of scissors!”
“Oh yeah?” Breg took a step into the street and placed his fists on his hips. “Well, we’ll show you, because we’re going to enter the Dungeon Trial and we’re going to win, aren’t we?”
Breg’s two friends, Dora and Nora Lumber, nodded and smirked. They looked so smug that Kit found himself shouting back, before he really knew what he was doing.
“Oh yeah? Well, I’m going to show you, because I’m entering the Dungeon Trial as well and I’m going to win!”
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At this the three bullies laughed harder than ever before. They laughed so hard that tears began to stream down their faces.
Finally, when they had stopped, Breg pointed at Kit and, with an evil grin on his face, said, “I’m going to hold you to that, Kit Kitson. And when you don’t enter – because you’re so scared – I’m going to tell everyone. And you’ll never be able to show yourself on this street again.”
Then Breg, Dora and Nora walked back inside, leaving Kit and Kleekoo standing there, dripping mud and feeling very awkward.
“Kookik Nook Klakkak, ” said Kleekoo, shaking his head.
17
“I know,” said Kit. “That was a really stupid thing to say.”
But it was too late now. He had well and truly said it.
18
2 KLOT THE LIME GREEN
As Kit began the long trudge home, he started to feel a sickly tingle in his tummy.
Name: Kit Kitson
Species: Gnorf
Combat skills: 20/100
Magic Power: 0/100
Cleverness: 80/100
Fame: 0/100
Why had he said such a crazy thing?
19
Kit didn’t even have a team, let alone one that could hope to win a Dungeon Run. He would turn up on his own, get laughed at by everybody, and then walk into the labyrinth and be eaten by a zombie or a troll. He would go down in history as the worst Runner ever.
But, despite all of that, he couldn’t help feeling a little buzz of excitement. Ever since he could walk, he had watched every minute of every Dungeon Run season. He had posters all over his room. His books were covered with team logo doodles.
He knew every bit of the league’s history. Like how – a hundred years
20
ago – Noctis, the mysterious mage, built dungeons all over the land of Zerb.
21
And how he had filled them with eyebats: flying creatures that could beam whatever they saw through the air and into magic crystals, so audiences could watch what was going on as if they were actually there.
He knew how the leagues had been formed and teams created. How the whole of Zerb had become obsessed with watching those brave heroes battle and trick their way through the mazes to become champions and legends.
Kit knew all the rules of Dungeon Running in great detail, too.
22
Several teams of three went into the dungeon. Each team had a fighter (to take all the damage), a healer (to keep the others on their feet) and a mage (to scare off all the monsters with their magic).
The first team to reach the exit won three points, with two points for the second, and the third got only one.
But there were other ways to score: finding the treasure earned you two points, as did defeating the dungeon boss.
The teams’ totals were added up throughout the season and, at the end, the top two went up into the next league, and the bottom two went down.
23
Be part of the most popular sport in all of Zerb! Do you have what it takes to be a Dungeon Runner? Come and try your luck!
In AN OFFICIAL NDL DUNGEON, teams will compete with each other through a series of challenges, puzzles, mazes and battles to win points.
The first team to FINISH will get 3 points Second place gets 2 points Third place gets 1 point
Don’t forget! You could get 2 bonus points if you claim the treasure. 2 extra points are also available for defeating the dungeon boss –if you dare!
All Dungeon Running teams MUST have a fighter, a mage and a healer
Teams can work against each other, or join forces if they wish. But remember at the end of the season there can only be one winner!
And there was another reason Kit was excited. Another reason he allowed himself to feel the teeniest glimmer of hope.
His grandfather Klot had once been a Dungeon Run champion. He was, in fact, the only gnorf in the history of Zerb who had reached the Master League. What would he have to say about this? Would he
Name: Klot Kitson - or Klot the Lime Green
Species: Gnorf
Combat skills: 40/100
Magic Power: 90/100
Cleverness: 90/100
Fame: 80/100
25
be proud that his grandchild was following in his footsteps? Would he have some useful advice, maybe?
Kit paused in mid-step and spun round until he was facing the direction of his grandfather’s house. There was only one way to find out.
Grotville was a small town, full of grubby little houses and piles of ruined brick and stone. Once there had been castles and mansions here, but the rich elves had moved on to the capital city of Goldspire, where the water was cleaner, the air fresher and the people had baths more than once a year.
Kit’s grandfather lived in an old shack with a roof of mouldy wooden
26
tiles and a door that was held on by gnarly pieces of string.
Inside, however, it was very different. The walls were covered with framed posters from his days of fame, and shelves held trophies and action figures of Klot the Lime Green: a young gnorf, wearing long robes and holding a magic staff.
As Kit heaved open the door and stepped inside, he smelled the familiar whiff of boiled turnips and old socks, with a hint of magical sparks.
All the things that reminded him of his grandad.
The wrinkly old gnorf was sitting in his favourite armchair, one eye closed, while a finger waggled in the air.
27
Over in the corner, on the stove, a spoon was stirring a pot of turnip soup all by itself. Cooking was the only thing Grandad used magic for these days.
28
“Is that you, Kit?” Klot’s speech was full of wheezes and crackles. Sometimes he was very hard to understand. He said that shouting spells at the top of his voice for so many years had ruined his pipes.
“Yes, it’s me!” Kit shut the door and skipped over to the chair, dodging piles of magical books and strange-looking items. “I’ve got some news! It’s very exciting. Or it might be really bad. I can’t quite decide which.”
Grandad Klot opened his one closed eye and peered at his bouncing grandson. “I don’t like excitement any more,” he muttered. His fingers stopped waggling, and the spoon
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clattered to a halt in the soup pot.
“It’s about Dungeon Running,” Kit said. “I need to ask your advice.”
“I don’t like giving advice,” Grandad said, closing his eye again.
“Well, you see,” Kit carried on, ignoring him, “there’s a Dungeon Trial coming up – one of the teams in Bottom Feeders got munched by a dragon and freed up a space. And then that bully I told you about –
Beefy Breg – he kind of challenged me to enter and I kind of accepted.
“Which means I have to put together a team and win the Dungeon Trial because if I don’t, he will never let me hear the end of it and I’ll have to move out and go and
30
live in a gobrot hole!”
Kit paused for breath and looked at his grandad, who had kept very still throughout his whole speech.
“So what do you think?” Kit asked. “I need to know if it’s a stupid idea, or if there’s any chance I could somehow become a famous champion Dungeon Runner like you? Is it in my blood? Can I do it? Can I? Can I?”
31
“Mmmmm,” Klot said, his crinkly bald head nodding back and forth.
“I can! I knew it! Thank you, Grandad! Thank you!” Kit gave Klot a kiss on the forehead and then ran out of the shack, slamming the door behind him.
Klot woke and leapt up with a jolt.
“Try a Dungeon Trial? You?” he said, squinting at the spot where Kit had
been standing a moment ago. “Of course not! You’re just a baby! I was much older than you when I did it and I had proper training! You’ll be eaten alive before you’ve taken three steps. Kit? Kit? Are you still here?” But the shack was empty, Kit was long gone, and Klot’s advice was far, far too late.
