'A story I have lived so long to make'

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A story I have lived so long to make

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TITLE ‘A story I have lived so long to make’ is an extract from a writing featured within this book submitted by Lily Keenan, a resident of Ballard Lodge, Co Laois.

P R ODU C T I ON This collection of writings has been compiled by Nursing Homes Ireland.

The collection has been compiled and edited by Michael McGlynn, NHI Communications & Research Executive, and Andrew Rennie, NHI Communications & Research Assistant

© Nursing Homes Ireland, 2018

Nursing Homes Ireland 2051 Castle Drive, Citywest, Dublin 24, D24 K299 info@nhi.ie

www.nhi.ie

Welcome to ‘A story I have lived so long to make’, a remarkable collection of writings from nursing home residents.

Nursing homes are home to some of the most remarkable and wonderful people in Irish society. Our Members consider it a great privilege to share so much of their lives with these people and to provide them with exceptional care.

Residents within our nursing homes are truly inspirational.

They share with us great knowledge, wisdom, advice, humility and life experience. Great characters and people live in our nursing homes. Residents have great humour, are great storytellers, provide exceptional friendship.

The excellent care provided by outstanding staff in nursing homes is committed to enhancing the lives of residents. They continue to enjoy their favourite past-times and embrace new interests.

They sing and dance, create arts and crafts works, enjoy games, watch movies, participate in a range of physical activities, gardening, reminisce, engage in writing and art workshops.

In Spring 2018, Nursing Homes Ireland undertook this special initiative to provide some insight into the talents possessed by nursing home residents.

We asked Members to engage with residents to assist us in compiling a special collection of writings. ‘Positivity’ was the general theme presented. The theme provided the writers with an opportunity to offer positive reflections on day-to-day life, times past, times present. We are struck by the dayto-day positivity of residents within our nursing homes.

‘A story I have lived so long to make’ brings together a unique collection of writings. Our oldest contributor is 104 years of age. The writings encompass positive reflections of life past and present. Special childhood memories are recalled.

We read of life in Ireland and abroad. The importance of education, active living, faith and appreciating what you have are presented. Honesty, humour, happiness, sadness, faith, friendship and love are common strands within the writings.

It is apt that the title of this collection comes from a writing presented by one of our contributors, Lily Keenan, a resident of Ballard Lodge in Co Laois.

Over 80 residents contributed to ‘A story I have lived so long to make’. We thank you all for making this such a special collection of writings. We also thank the staff who supported the residents in bringing the writings together.

Enjoy this very unique and special collection of writings.

Michael McGlynn

Michael McGlynn Nursing Homes Ireland Communications & Research Executive

‘Tai chi & reminiscing of times past’ Mary Glynn and Aggie Walsh are new entrants to the centenarian club, having both turned 100 in 2018. They have both become great friends since moving to Blake Manor Nursing Home, Co. Galway. Norah Ginty, Activities Coordinator in the Kilcolgan-based nursing home, spoke with Mary and Aggie about what they see as the positives of the life they lead and what advice they would impart to younger generations.

Mary and Aggie embrace every opportunity presented to talk about the Ireland of the past and have developed a wonderful friendship within Blake Manor.

"I never really realised I was growing older; it was something that just happened,” Mary explains.

“I never celebrated birthdays.”

These inspiring ladies have experienced two world wars, the great depression and reared their families from the 1940s upwards. During the forties and the decades after, both ladies lived simple, hard-working lives, raising their children. They bring a positive outlook to life and are very appreciative of a home and new way of living based upon the principles of attentive care, support and friendship.

"The great thing here is you are you are aided at any time of the day and night - getting dressed and ready for the day and winding down at

night,” Mary states. “Assistance is as much or as little as a person needs.”

"We have built great friendships here," she continues. "I never knew Aggie before we met a year-and-a-half ago.

Our children knew of each other alright.

I’ve found a great friend in her and other residents within Blake Manor.”

Aggie adds: "For as long as we shall have each other it's great. When we got to know each other and realised we had the same outlook on life it was great and reassuring."

"We look out for each other." Mary affirms.

The talk turns to the generations following them.

"Advice for younger people?”

Mary considers. “Always use your manners.Try to be obliging to others and peaceful.”

Aggie adds: "The saying 'forgive and forget' is great; there's no use holding onto issues. If someone doesn't like you, let it be."

They welcome the social inclusivity of life in a nursing home and the constant opportunity it presents to see and chat with people of similar interests. Security also provides them with comfort and reassurance.

"Things have changed from when we were younger,” Mary comments.

“Everyone left their doors unlocked back then and looked out for each other, day and night. It's not the same now.You regularly hear of burglars in peoples’ homes; we know we are safe and looked after here."

Aggie adds: "I know if I was at home I'd be wondering if I was safe; here I know I am.The security of nursing homes is great."

The discussion returns to the comfort of nursing home living.

"We do the rosary here during the week with the activities coordinator and watch movies of days gone by,” Mary tells. “We watched a film about Galway during the Easter Rising last week and even knew some of the peoples’ names. Classes in the nursing home include Tai Chi, Mindfulness, and light exercises.There are great options for us to choose from when we feel like doing so and these open up new opportunities for us.”

"I always think of poems and readings we learnt in school and get great enjoyment from reading them out,” Aggie states. “We sometimes do that after the rosary.‘Old Woman of the Roads’ (by Padraic Colum) is one I can think of, although it's hard to remember all the words all of the time.‘The Farmer’s Boy’ is another.

They remind me of days gone by.”

“She’s great to remember everything,” says Mary, “I couldn’t ever do that.”

“I am not at all great,” replies Aggie. The two ladies smile and continue to share memories and the great company and companionship of each other.

Mary Glynn (top) & Aggie Walsh (botttom)

‘Keep busy in the community’ Áine Uí Mhathuna is an incredible 102 years-of-age and a resident of Marymount Care Centre in Westmanstown, Co. Dublin. She advises people to be positively involved within their local community and to recognise there are always people in a worse position than you. She continues to live positively, enjoying outings to places such as the National Concert Hall and Croke Park.

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I never thought I’d reach the age of 102; I never really thought about age at all.

I grew up in Portobello Harbour with my mother, my younger sister and my aunt, as my father died when I was young. I suppose there was always very positive female role models for me during my life.

Fortunately, I have had a good life, a happy one and was very lucky to have had a wonderful husband, Lúghaidh; he really was the best.

It was because I wanted to maintain my independence that I chose to move to Marymount Care Centre. I can continue with my hobbies which now include knitting, baking, bingo, quiz evenings, crafts and exercise groups. I can also get my hair done and go on outings to places like Croke Park and The National Concert Hall with the other residents, staff and family members.

Being able to tell my family about winning prizes with our knitting group

in community events fills me with pride.

Hopefully we’ll win more this year!

Living in Marymount also means I can enjoy lots of visits to my family in their homes and having four generations to visit gives me plenty of options.

They are important to me; family is important, they make me truly happy.

My philosophy of life, if you can call it that, is to enjoy everything in moderation. Keep busy in the community and with your family and always remember that there is always someone much worse off than you.

For me, the Irish Countrywomen’s Association was a great way of being positively involved in the community and to meet various people. I was also a voluntary hospital visitor with the ICA. A group of us would visit patients to speak with them and provide them with magazines. Visiting those patients helped me appreciate how lucky I was.

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‘The joy of sharing memories & a story I’ve lived so long to make’ Lily Keenan’s fondest memories from her 86 years of life include ballroom dances, watching children grow into adults and meeting the love of her life. Lily smiles every night as she looks back on and remembers times past. Now she shares memories with her fellow nursing home residents in Ballard Lodge, Co. Laois.

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During my 86 years in this world I have had many experiences. I’ve lived through World War II, seen Ireland become a Republic and witnessed a man walk on the moon.These are great and momentous events but they are not my fondest memories.

In fact, I don’t remember them very well at all! My fond memories are of more simple events and joys in life.

I remember coming home from ballroom dancing with a group of my friends, laughing and singing all through the night. I remember meeting the love of my life, John, and the days he would ask me to go out with him. I remember the day I finally said yes. I remember the births of all ten of our beautiful children and watching them grow into wonderful adults. I remember looking after my countless grandchildren and spoiling them rotten.These are the memories I cherish and hold close to my heart.

I lie back every night, relax in my bed and look at the photos of the days that have passed. Every time a smile seems to sprout up across my face

and I think to myself ‘it is truly better to have been born lucky rather than rich’.

I share all these memories with my fellow residents in Ballard Lodge Nursing Home, where I have been living the past two years. And they share their stories with me. We laugh about the days of our youth, the dances, the romance, the music and the work. How we didn’t have much but more than we could ever need. How our children were angels but also the devil himself.

It’s nice to have people around who understand where you come from and the luxuries of the past that are now taken for granted.This is what being in a nursing home allows me to do. It lets me share my story with people who care and allows me to make new friends through old experiences. It also lets me watch my children grow and see them make their own memories to look back on someday. I’m very grateful for not only being in Ballard Lodge but also for being alive, so I can tell my story that I have lived so long to make.

‘Be open to new experiences’ Maureen Fitzgerald, Oliver Halton and Mary McGuire are residents of St. Elizabeth’s Nursing Home in Athboy, Co. Meath. Mary is 92-yearsof-age, Maureen is 78, and Oliver is 81. Over an afternoon discussion they speak about being grateful for trying new things, the importance of having a positive outlook on life, and sneaking into a travelling picture show to watch a Charlie Chaplin film.

Maureen and Oliver discuss the activities on offer within the nursing home and how they try to take part in everything. Oliver, whose favourite song is ‘Molly Malone’, comments: “I like to take part in all activities that are going. I like music and singing, especially. I also enjoyed the writing group that we had”. Maureen adds: “We have lots of games and activities here.

One of our nurses, Dave, comes in to play music and sing every week and we get to dance. I like to Waltz.”

“I am grateful to be able to get up every morning and make the most of my day,” Oliver remarks. “My advice to young people would be to enjoy life and try to be happy”. Maureen is in agreement. “My advice to the younger generation is to try and stay happy!”

Mary McGuire (top left) Oliver Halton (top right) & Maureen Fitzgerald (bottom)

“The most positive thing in life is being involved in it and being open to new experiences,” Mary states.

“That would be my advice to young people”. She reminisces about some of the new experiences she enjoyed during her lifetime. “The first time I went to the cinema I remember very fondly - a travelling picture show came to the village.There was a screen in the front, lots of chairs placed in rows and a projector with two reels in the back.The admittance fee for a child was six pence. We had to sneak around to the front and sit on the floor.These were the premier seats!

They showed a black and white Charlie Chaplin film.

It was silent but there was lots of action and clowning around. I thought it was hilarious. It was my first visit to a ‘picture show’ and we laughed all the way through it”.

‘All that shines is not silver’ Brigid ‘Bee’ Killane, Etna O’Rourke and Patrick Melinn are residents of Retreat Nursing Home in Athlone, Co. Westmeath.

Patrick, 97, offers some sage advice to young people. Etna, 88, tells of the positivity in growing old and Bee, 95, recalls childhood, family and speaks of life presently.

Bridget Killane (left), Etna O’Rourke (middle) & Patrick Melinn (right)

“I have always been very active and very lucky. I am still very lucky that I’m still active at the age of 97” Patrick states. “I would say to young people always try to save a few bob as you never know when you will need it, but money is not everything. Doing something good for someone can make you very happy.”

“There are lots of things that are good about being older,” Etna reflects.

“I have more time to do the things that are fun, time to learn how to do new crafts and time to practice.”

“When I was young I wanted to have the same clothes as everyone else,” Bee recalls. “Now I am happy to wear what I have. I had a lovely, happy childhood with a great Mammy and Daddy. Daddy taking us for a ride on the pony and trap is one of my favourite childhood memories.‘All that shines is not silver’ is an important saying for me; always look below the surface. I am very happy to be spending my days in this lovely nursing home. I sleep better here than I ever slept at home because there is always someone around if I need help and there is always someone to talk to.

The best part of living here is the live music and singing in the afternoon.

Being older can be a very happy time”.

‘Look good & embrace social activities’ Roscommon and Mayo natives Anne Rattigan and Anne Gilligan are residents of Central Park Nursing Home in Co. Galway. The former hails from a small village called Moigh, a few miles from Cloonfard in The Rossies county, and is 85 years-of-age. She says her inspiration and positive nature stems from a close family unit and the influence of community. She believes a key ethos in life is to share and care for each other. Anne Gilligan is from the townland of Ballyroe, in the parish of Knock. The 80-year-old is proactive within the nursing home, assisting staff with day-to-day routines such as collecting cups and tidying. She is a volunteer within the home’s Sonas Group, where her positive energy supports fellow residents in participating in therapeutic activity. Rois McDonagh, recreation director at the Clonbern-based nursing home, sat with the two ladies to discuss their positive life influences and outlook.

Anne Gilligan (left) Anne Rattigan (right)

“My mother, she was the most positive person and also head of the house; my father was a quiet man,” Anne Rattigan recalls. “My mother would always tell me: Do the best you can with your life. My mother gave me confidence. I enjoy my life. I don’t feel old. I can’t believe the amount of years that have passed; I have seen so many changes. Life wasn’t easy back in the day when I was growing up, but we had good neighbours and we all helped each other. I have six children, two girls and four boys, I have reared a good family who are all so kind and caring towards me.

My ten grandchildren and four great grandchildren keep me feeling young. I love to see them and hear their news.”

Her fellow resident Anne Gilligan also emphasises the importance of family in embracing positive living and points to the importance of social activity. “I am quite happy at my age and I have no fears of growing old. I am happiest keeping in touch with my family, friends and neighbours. My parents were way ahead of their time. My mother was an only child born in New York and my father was from a very large family of 14. My mother was my inspiration.

I taught my eight children to have good values and morals.Today I am so proud of each and every one of them. My children keep me positive.”

“I dance, which I dearly love. I used to help run a club in Kilkerrin for the elderly, for both men and women. We would play cards and we danced, sang songs - those of us that could.

We loved to sing the old Irish songs.

My favourite song is ‘Home to Mayo’ as Knock is my home town and it’s a very special place to me”.

What helps ‘enforce’ their positive outlook on life? “I enjoy pampering and looking nice,” Anne Rattigan states.

“My appearance is important. My parents always ensured that we all had something nice to wear. I remember my Aunt Norah. She was a dressmaker and made all our clothes. My favourite was a red coat that she made for me. If you look good, you feel good.”

Appearance is also an essential for Anne Gilligan. “I am very proud of my appearance. I like to look nice and visit the hairdresser weekly. I do a lot of walking and keep fit with dancing.”

Circumstances change in life and both are now living in a nursing home. They retain their positive life outlook. “It is important to emphasise I live in Central Park Nursing Home,” Anne Rattigan explains. “When I first came to here I did feel very lonely because I feared the future and how was I going to get through it. However, after a short while my attitude changed because everyone here - staff and residents were so kind to me and helpful. I no longer fear the future. I am quite happy and content and I don’t worry about the future because I feel safe. I look forward to every day at Central Park.

There is always something different to look forward to. I love the community band and local schools visiting.”

Anne Gilligan emphasises the sense of freedom she retains within the nursing home. “I have the freedom to do what I want.There are many interests I can pursue. I like to play the bingo and card games, going for walks and getting my hair done. I also socialise with my new friends that I have met here

and I enjoy their company. We do a lot together and share our life stories.

I also like the exercise classes and Sonas Group.There is great variety to life here in the nursing home.There is always bands and musicians visiting the home. I will always go where the music is and get up for a dance.”

The conversation turns to times present and the sage advice these ladies with eight decades of living would offer to the younger generations. “There is a big difference in my youth and comparing it to my children and grandchildren’s youth,” Anne Rattigan observes. “Life is faster paced today with a lot of pressures and expectations. Slow down and enjoy what you have at this moment and appreciate it. Live in the moment.Yesterday is gone and we don’t know what tomorrow

may bring.Today is all we have.

Deal with problems when they arise and don’t waste any time dwelling and worrying before it happens.”

“I have seen technology move forward - so many gadgets and mobile phones,” Anne Gilligan comments. “I ask all my children to hand over their mobile phones when they come to visit. I have a special table for all the phones and gadgets, sometimes I pretend to count the phones and will say ‘there is one missing’ and sure enough one of my children will hand it over.The reason I do this is to ensure that they all talk to each other and to me. Be good to people and help them when they need it. And follow your passion. For me it’s been dancing and I continue to embrace this passion.

It all helps in living life positively.”

‘I live in a happy house’ There are a relatively small number of people availing of nursing home care that are not the traditional ‘old’ people that rely upon our nursing homes for the 24/7 care they specialise in providing. Ger Dolan is a 50-year-old resident of Sonas Moyridge in Ballina, Co. Mayo.

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When I first arrived here I was very scared because I didn’t know many people in Ballina as I’d lived in Scotland for many years where I worked as a chef. I was nervous when I first came into the home as I thought of it as an ‘old folks home’ and I thought I would be with people my parents age. I was 47 when I came here. However, I now love living here.The staff and I have become such great friends and we have a lot of fun and craic together. I am treated so respectfully, and this allows me to be myself with everyone and to be happy. I don't live in an ‘old folks home’. I live in a fun, happy house.

The Exhibition We have had a great exhibition, of articles used long ago There was such a collection, some of their uses we didn’t know.

There was photos and papers and a camera, some people had ne’er seen the like A wash tub and wash board and soap, and also a High Nelly Bike.

A metal crane for the open fire, to hang the pots when cooking And a basket of turf at the side, in case the fire needs stoking.

There was a gadget there to hold tea leaves before we had tea bags And a silver box to catch the ash that fell from cigars and fags.

A small tool there to take shells off eggs and small bars to hold knives on the table.

Sewing machines, old phones and a storm lamp for night work in the stable.

There was a hot water bottle, a carbide lamp and money and jewellery too.

An old weighing scales, some old delph and a very old horse shoe.

Well just now that’s all I remember, though I know there was more bric-a-brac Oh something has come to my memory, there was also a large sugar sack.

The party after was wonderful, it was something else to behold The music and singing and laughter, where the young people danced with the old.

So thanks to the staff at Parke House, from the bottom right up to the top For the care and attention they give us, with most of us needing a prop.

To Leeanne and Patricia and Emer, and helpers whose names I don’t know I’ll just say thanks and God bless you, for putting on such a wonderful show.

Patsy O’Reilly is a 94-year-old resident of Parke House, Kilcock, Co. Kildare. He is a relative newcomer to writing poetry, having only written his first poem in July 2017 for an exhibition in the nursing home. His works are rekindling an old family passion. Patsy’s father used to write a lot of poetry. Patsy is a native of Slane, Co. Meath, but moved to Dublin in 1947, where he lived most of his life.

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‘Set goals & work hard to achieve them’

Margaret Quinn has always set goals for herself and worked hard to achieve them. The 90-year-old resident of Craddock House, Co. Kildare, advises readers to aim for the highest.

For me, the positivity of growing old comes having a positive outlook on life and good health. All through my life, I have always been ambitious and would have set goals for myself and worked hard to achieve them.

This I believe gave me the ability to study and qualify as a primary school teacher, something that my family were very proud to see me achieve.

The advice I would pass on to the readers or younger generation is advice I received myself from our local priest.That was “to always aim for the highest and you may probably achieve just below”. Or the age old saying “aim for the sky and you will reach the stars” is always good to have in mind.

The positivity of my life at present is that the nursing home is a home away from home for me.The companionship, security and support give me a great sense of comfort, particularly when I feel unwell.

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Margaret cites the poem ‘If ’ by Rudyard Kipling as inspirational, citing this particular verse: If you can dream but not let those dreams cloud your reason, If you can think but still take action, If you can deal with both triumph and disaster, If you can handle it when others twist your truths into lies, or take the things you devoted your life to and turn them from broken into alive again

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‘Embrace change & live life to the fullest’ John O’Grady is 73 years-of-age and has been a resident of Padre Pio Nursing Home in Holycross, just outside Thurles, Co. Tipperary for the last 15 years. He writes of moving into a nursing home at a relatively young age and how his perception of living in nursing home care has changed as a result of the great care he has received.

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A lot of people are under the illusion that all residents do in nursing homes is sit in a chair all day, but in Padre Pio this is certainly not the case. I am involved in so many different things and I have achieved so much which I know I would never have done if I wasn’t a resident here.

I am really well cared for and the staff here I would class as my family.

I can talk to them about anything.

I have beautiful food served up to me everyday so, in fairness, how could you ask for much more?

I am the chairperson of the residents’ council committee and our voices are always listened to. Any problem that occurs I am confident that I can go to Lucie, the matron, and she can sort it out for me.

I read the daily newspaper so I’m kept well-informed of what’s

going on each day. We get to go on many outings together, music concerts, GAA matches, historical tours and many more things also.

When I became ill I was quite young, so when I ended up in a nursing home.

I had my doubts as you can probably imagine. I can honestly say though that becoming ill has now been turned into a positive! I am surrounded with my family and friends everyday.

So for me, growing old in a nursing home has become the best and most positive aspect of my life. I would not change one thing about the past 15 years of my life in Padre Pio. Don’t ever fear the unknown, just embrace it. In Padre Pio we live every day to the fullest. I wake up with a smile on my face and I go to bed with a smile on my face. I really don’t think life can get more positive than that.

‘I will survive’ Rosaleen Gorman, Jacinta Conroy, Eileen Gavigan and Martin O’Neill are residents of TLC in Citywest, Co. Dublin.

Rosaleen is 79 years-ofage and is enjoying life at a relaxed pace. ‘What a Wonderful World’ and ‘I will Survive’ are two songs that inspire her.

68-year-old Jacinta is also inspired by music, from Elvis Presley to Westlife, it changes the way she views the world. She advises our younger generations to speak their mind. Eileen established a playschool in her 40s and says the children offered her a new way of observing life. She embraces her creative side through participation in pottery and art classes.

86-year-old Martin advises young people to participate in sport everyday to keep fit and speaks of the joy his 13 grandchildren bring to him.

“The positivity of growing old and living a long life for me has been seeing my family extending, from children to grandchildren and then on to greatgrandchildren,” Rosaleen explains.

“You also get to enjoy life at a relaxed pace. I have two particularly happy memories from my lifetime.The first was my wedding day on 29th May 1959. I married the man of my dreams, my childhood sweetheart Sydney. We met when I was 13 and he was 15. He was my first boyfriend. I am so glad we met and fell in love so young as he sadly passed away suddenly at the age of 32, so we still got to spend a good few happy years together.

The second particular memory is the birth of my first grandchild Leonie who is now 33. I wasn’t as stressed as I was with my own children and I had more knowledge to pass on.”

Jacinta attributes her positive attitude to her happy childhood. “My whole life I have lived with great positivity

because of the great start I had in life. I worked in a charity shop for five years and then started working with my Dad printing books. I met my husband at 22 and we had two children together, my daughter Valerie and my son Mark. I was very happy when my first grandchild Liam was born. I have three other grandchildren and I love them all very much”.

Happy memories generate great happiness for Jacinta and she looks back upon them with great pride. “I have always had a happy life. My daughter having a baby boy is a particular happy memory. I love when he comes to visit and gives me a big hug; it makes me so happy.The positivity of growing old and living a long life comes from being able to spend time with my daughter and seeing my beautiful grandkids growing up. My positive life experiences are raising both of my children and being able to be a part of my children’s lives.”

“For me, the positivity of growing old and living a long and happy life is looking back at your own life achievements with a smile and being happy with them,” says Eileen. She agrees that the joy of seeing her children and grandchildren growing up is something that brings her a particular sense of pride. She also explains that another achievement that the she can look back on positively is studying for and acquiring her Montessori diploma in her 40s. “My children were young and I stopped working as that was the custom at the time. I wanted to do something positive with my life and I came to a decision, with the support of my husband, to do this. I set up my own

playschool at home and I really enjoyed the years I spent running it. With their innocence, those children brought me a new way of observing life. In a way they showed me what was important”.

Martin offers his thoughts. “I now have 13 fabulous grandchildren who I love and adore.They give me great joy to still be here for them everyday. My wife Maureen is a lovely lady. I still keep our first photograph together, which is so precious to me. I love golf and football and I like reading the newspaper. One of my happiest memories is going away on a cruise ship on holidays, just my wife and myself. I thoroughly enjoyed being away with her and reminiscing on the wonderful life we had together.The cruise ship was called ‘The Emerald’ and one of the nights we had dinner with the captain. I remember him asking where we were from and when I told him ‘The Emerald Isle’ he thought this was highly amusing as he was captain of ‘The Emerald’”.

Rosaleen speaks of life presently. “I feel like TLC in Citywest is my second home. Everybody is so good and caring towards me. I feel very safe here.

I can relax more now that I’m here; the security that I feel is fantastic. When I came first I didn’t like to come out of my room at all, but with encouragement and support I now go to activities and have overcome my shyness. I really enjoy them and I have also made a lot of new friends through this”.

Eileen provides her thoughts. “Now that I am living in the nursing home I am enjoying good health and good care. I have made many new friends

in my time living here. I especially love being able to embrace my creative side with the pottery and art classes.

The security is brilliant also and I love the feeling that I’m never alone”.

Jacinta reemphasises the importance of a positive outlook. “Since living in the nursing home, I feel the best thing I could do is smile. If you smile at people, they will smile back. It’s one way of how we can interact with one another as life can be hard. If you do your best to get on it will be a better life”.

Martin advocates being fit and active is a great way to maintain a positive outlook. “The advice I would offer to people looking to live a positive life would be: be happy, don’t hold grudges and partake in sport every day to keep fit. I’ve always liked to relax to music to help me unwind. I still like to do this every day here in TLC.” He underlines the importance of family to the younger generation.

“A piece of advice I would like to offer would be to enjoy your family and be around them as much as you can. Family is everything.There are a few sayings that I choose to live my life positively by and these are my favourite quotes: ‘live each day as it comes’ and ‘live life to the fullest’”.

“Music is my soul,” Jacinta offers. “I am always listening to music; from Elvis Presley to Westlife, all music just changes the way I view the world depending on the songs or what mood I’m in. Words of wisdom I have for younger generations would be to always speak your mind. Have respect for others because if you want to gain respect, you must give it in return.The one thing I live my life

to is ‘always have respect and listen to everybody’. Remember that no matter what happens in your life that there is always someone less off”.

“To live positively you should always look out for your family no matter what and be thankful for each day as it comes,” Rosaleen says. “My one line of wisdom that was passed to me from my own Mother was ‘never go to sleep on an argument’. I fully believe this.

Life is too short and you never know what tomorrow will bring.There are two songs that I feel offer good advice and help me to remain positive when I need a little help.‘What A Wonderful World’ (by Louis Armstrong) just says it all to me and reminds me of what I do have.The second is ‘I Will Survive’ (by Gloria Gaynor).This reminds me of exactly how strong I have been in my lifetime and that I did survive and came out happy and positive again.”

Eileen offers the final thoughts. “The proverb ‘the grass isn’t always greener on the other side’ is a particular favourite saying of mine. It makes me think about what I have done and not about what I might have done.The book I love reading and always have done is The Bible. I find it brings me comfort and answers and it makes me think about things in a more positive light.The greatest words of wisdom I can offer are to be positive and always think ahead.The best advice I can offer to anyone with regard to living life positively is to start the day with a smile. Aim to keep it there.”

Eileen Gavigan (top left), Martin O’Neill (top right), Jacinta Conroy (bottom left) & Rosaleen Gorman (bottom right)

‘Life is what you make of it’ 94-year-old Peggie Ryan and 96-year-old James Fitzpatrick are residents of Droimnin Nursing Home in Stradbally, Co. Laois. Peggie, from Laois originally, was one of ten children. She married her husband William Ryan in 1952 and they raised their nine children together in Killabban Maganey. James, who turns 97 on “the first day of hay making in July”, hails from Spink and abides by the mantra ‘growing old is inevitable, but growing up is optional’. He lives in Droimnin with his wife Teresa, something which he is very grateful for.

Peggie and James recount stories from their lives which allow them to look back fondly and stay positive. Both Peggie and James emanate an infectious positivity that is clearly evident when they speak about their lives and in offering advice to young people making their way today.

“I have very happy memories of my childhood and I loved going to school in Barrowhouse,” Peggie begins. “My principle subjects were Irish and Maths – I could write pages and pages for an Irish composition, but not so much for an English one! We had a busy house but not one of our children ever gave me a spot of trouble – isn’t that a great thing to be able to say!”

“I might tog out for the under-21 football team this summer!” jokes James, who asserts that he doesn’t feel old at all. When asked to what does he attribute his maintained youthfulness, he replies: “I think I owe living this long and being in great form to all that fresh air up in Spink where I was born and reared. I have a good faith.

I was 47 years collecting money at Spink church and never missed an Easter Sunday or Christmas morning.”

James recalls fond memories and how he met his wife Teresa, who joined him in Droimnin shortly after he arrived.

“The best memories I have are going to all the dance halls. I’m an honest auld lad, never stole or anything like that. I did go with a few women - sure that’s only natural I suppose. Some let me down and sure I let more down,” he adds light-heartedly. “They were grand auld times; then I met Teresa.

The local bar were hiring someone to work, we were all out thrashing and there was a dance after it. Everyone was talking of this new barmaid and wondering what she was going to be like. I passed no remark on her at first but sure I suppose I must have grown to like her. I asked her out one day and we are still saying the rosary together each night 50 years later”.

Peggie speaks about how her apprehensions of nursing home life were allayed. “I was living alone in our home as all our children had moved away and were married with their own families. I have always made sure to keep out of their business, as I wanted them to live their own lives. I wasn’t afraid of living alone but it was lonely, and one day I thought ‘how long more can I stay here by myself?’ I suppose I was concerned about what the future might hold for me. So I spoke to my daughter, Dympna, about my fears and I asked her to ‘check out’ Droimnin for me. She called in to have a chat and a look around and reported back to me with the words ‘Mam, you’ll love it.’

What better recommendation than from my own daughter who knew exactly what I was looking for. People ask if I have regrets about leaving home and honestly it never enters my head.”

“The staff are lovely, the nurses and carers look after me, my meals are cooked and my room is cleaned.

Haven’t I done enough cooking and cleaning in my life so it’s great that that’s all done here for me now.

I have everything I need here and there’s always plenty of tea. I enjoy participating in the activities on offer.

Activities aren’t easy to organise and they are here for our benefit, so I do like to join in as often as I can. My favourite activity is the ‘Card Bingo’, but I’m a bit embarrassed because I win so often – sure it’s all a bit of fun”.

James adds: “I’m enjoying life every day in the nursing home, having a gallery, playing skittles and bingo, telling old yarns I heard on the wireless years ago; sure the staff love listening

to them.The family are always in and sure it’s great to see the grandkids growing up.

I’m keeping myself young by enjoying every day the best that I can. I doubt I’ll ever feel old!”

Their advice for the young people of today? “I’ll tell the young ones today, make the best you can out of your life,” James responds. “Enjoy it and don’t be letting anything worry you at all; sure look at me, I’m in my 97th year and I could be worrying about my age but what’s the point? God can take you at any time so we might as well enjoy it. Keep an eye on your love, if you have found him or her keep a hold of them. Hold on tight and don’t let them slip away.”

Peggie offers: “The one piece of advice I’ve always given to my own children is ‘life is what you can make it’ and I suppose that would be my motto. I like to enjoy life and go with the flow.

Every person has decisions to make, whether you go to the left or the right that’s down to you. I like to think that I see the positive side in things and hopefully bring out the positive in people that are around me also.”

A Natural Turn Believe that hares can see the wind, Eddy swirl and blow.

What we reflect or reason, Their nature is to know.

Where swans kick the water, And, brown eyed heifers stare.

The fecund wind that drones and turns, Is watched by the lissom hare.

Only thinking of you in my arms, I am bold enough to declare.

I see in this woman the teeth of the wind, That is stabbed in the air.

James Fitzpatrick (left) Peggy Ryan (right)

By Ernest Bates, a resident of St. Martha’s Nursing Home, Cahir, Co. Tipperary.

‘Stay humble & be thankful for what you have’ The two Carmels, Carmel O’Keefe and Carmel Costigan, came together in TLC Straffan to discuss the importance of family in creating positivity within your life. Their reflections consider the positivity absorbed from changes in the lives of loved ones. They also provide thoughts on nursing home life.

Carmel O’Keefe is 84-years-of-age and Carmel Costigan 80 years.

“The positive of living a long life is that you get to spend plenty of time with the ones you love”, declares Carmel O’Keefe. “I’ve lived a very happy life with my husband and we’ve seen our family that we’ve made grow up and do well for themselves and build families of their own. My husband and I have done lots of travelling and achieved many things in life. We spent a lot of our lives together, as we met when we were young, and we’ve been through everything together.

We’ve been to big golf tournaments in many different countries and I have always supported him”.

Carmel Costigan also asserts that her positive life outlook stems from a long and happy life with her family. “I have two children, one girl and one boy.

Both are living here in Ireland and visit me every day. For me, the positive of growing old and living a long life is

growing in life with my partner and our family. We got to travel together a lot as a family right up until the children were 18. Once our children had grown up my husband and I continued to travel together and really enjoyed each other’s company. We got engaged at 18 and had a lot planned together.

We saved together to get our own home and then got married. A year later we had our first child and then we had our son two years after that”.

With positivity in life stemming from close family togetherness, Carmel discusses positive life experiences which came from spending time with her family. “A great positive life experience for me was watching my husband turning his love for fishing into a business of his own. He was a butcher before that and he didn’t really like it. It was lovely to be a part of a new beginning in his life. It was

also great being there as my daughter went through education and got into college. She really worked hard for everything to get where she wanted to be in life. I supported my son as he pursued an apprenticeship in something that he loved.”

Her fellow resident Carmel O’Keefe also shares memories she made with her family and regards them as being the most positive experiences in her life, recounting some of the most positive that stand out to her. “My most positive life experiences would definitely be travelling to different countries with my husband, building a life and family with him also. We have five children, two boys and three girls.Two live in Spain and one lives in England. My daughter here in Ireland spends a lot of time with us as my husband has recently come to stay with me here. I really enjoyed watching my husband compete in golf competitions and supporting him. I also loved taking care of my husband and his friends when they had card game nights as I would treat them to food and drinks”.

“I’ve competed in tournaments myself for shooting and I’ve received gold, silver and bronze medals. I even once beat a soldier. Another memory I hold dear is the dances that my husband and I attended when we were young, as that’s how we first met.”

“The positives of living in a nursing home are that I am able to enjoy these years with my husband. We are able to have lunch together and enjoy each other now that our children have all grown up and have their own lives. We can relax and

enjoy getting old together, loving life and enjoying each other.”

Carmel Costigan shares a similar outlook. “If we’re going to be honest, it’s never easy leaving your home to start living in a nursing home. It’s not easy for your family members either but living here is easier on me knowing that there is always someone around to look after me 24 hours of the day.

When I need someone I only have to press a button and someone is there. I am so well looked after by staff.

At home I just wouldn’t have that.”

Carmel O’Keefe offers advice and words of wisdom that embody the positive, family-driven outlook she has carried through life. “If I had any advice to offer with regard to living a positive life it would be to take care of yourself, your partner and your family.

Focus on what’s important in life. I would tell the younger generation to stay humble and always be thankful for what you have and focus on that, rather than focussing on what you don’t have. Look after your family because family is everything.They will always be there for you no matter what.”

Carmel Costigan re-emphasises the importance of family. “Think hard about your life choices and the partner you’re going to go through life and build a family with. Some sage advice with regards to living positively would be to always make sure you talk about things rather than do things in the spur of the moment.

Always set out a plan and agree on it”.

Carmel O’Keefe (top) & Carmel Costigan (bottom)

‘Learn different cultures through travel’ Be curious, careful with your finances, make the most of your working life and travel the world, 72-year-old Elizabeth Ryan of Glenashling Nursing Home in Co. Kildare advises.

“

The advice I would give to the youth of today about life is ‘make the most of your education, stay calm and stretch your abilities to their full potential. Always be curious, be very careful with your finances, make the most of your working life and travel the world.

Strive to become more secure as you get older in your job. This can support you in being able to afford to buy your own house or apartment and it enables you to live life to the fullest. I loved travel in my life, and travelled to the USA, Germany, France, Greece, Italy, Switzerland and Russia. I learned about different cultures and communities. I enjoyed the Italian culture and people best as they are very laid back and enjoy life.

When I was young I enjoyed being in amateur dramatics and being on stage. It was a very positive time in my life and gave me great confidence.

Now I live a life in which I enjoy security, safety and routine. The people here are very caring and are never far away if I want a chat or need something. I particularly enjoy the outings they regularly organise, with visits to the National Concert Hall, Newbridge Silver and Collins Barracks being recent.

“

‘Be fully alive to others’ Maureen is an 89-year-old resident of St Camillus, Killucan, Co. Westmeath. “In order to be fully healthy you have to be fully alive to others”, she advises when informing of one of her successes for long living.

“

Meet the day as it comes with a positive outlook! I was born and reared in Mullingar where my parents were in business. For many years they had two draper shops in the town centre and our family home was above those shops.

I was educated by the Dominican Sisters at Eccles Street in Dublin and I am very proud of my Dominican background. I didn’t follow my family into the drapery business but instead went into the hotel industry. I worked in Jury’s and the Myra hotel before taking up the management of the Mont Clare Hotel in Dublin city centre. Many girls came from the country were taken under my wing, particularly when homesickness would overwhelm some for whom the big city was a far cry from the little world of rural Ireland in the 1960s. It was a world away from the safety and security these girls had grown up in.

I’ve led a very active life and been blessed with good health. I attribute long life and good health to simply

eating well and being interactive with people. In order to be fully healthy you have to be fully alive to others. Be a good listener.You never really know what other people are going through and it is important that you can see another point of view. Be kind to others and grateful for what you have. And never forget where you are coming from.

The move to St Camillus has opened a new door for me and I am involved in all the activities here. I love to read and spend many hours reminiscing with my new friends as well as the younger members of staff who listen attentively to my tales of life in Dublin in the 1960s and 70s. I feel safe here and comforted by the company of the people who engage with me on many different levels. I have found in this part of my life companionship and safety I did not have living alone.

”

‘Do the hokey pokey’ Brigid ‘Bibi’ Byrne finds connecting with nature helps reduce stressful thoughts and loves sharing activities with children from the local primary school. 70-year-old ‘Bibi’ is a resident of St. Gobnait’s, Ballyagran, Co. Limerick.

“

I look back on my childhood with very happy memories. My late Father was a great musician and he passed on his love of music to me. Music is my God. It relaxes my mind and is very therapeutic. Here at St. Gobnait’s, we look forward to a sing-along every Saturday with Dan Noonan.

In my younger days I enjoyed gardening with my Mother and walking in the countryside.The garden here at St. Gobnait’s helps me feel more at home and encourages me to spend more time outdoors.

I often think of my late husband, Paddy, and get lonely every so often. But being able to connect with nature helps reduce any stressful thoughts I may have and lets my mind go free.

I got married in England and my Wedding Day is a particularly positive memory from my life. My daughters’ weddings were also such happy days.These memories are kept alive in my bedroom where I am able to display all of my photographs.They remind me of these joyous occasions and always put a smile on my face.

Family is very important to me and St. Gobnait’s is a home away from home.

Seeing the children from the local primary school is a particular highlight of the month for me. We interact well together and enjoy sharing activities such as arts and crafts, singing, dancing and board games.

Friendships are formed.Their visits seem to bring the older people out of themselves. It helps keep us feeling young, makes us more interested and generally happier. My latest party piece is doing the Hokey Pokey with them. We have great fun.

I take great pride in my appearance.

I am extremely grateful to have such caring and supportive staff here who always look to ensure that I am looking my best and who do my makeup for me. Our hairdresser visits frequently and I love getting my hair done. It makes me feel good about my appearance, which is very important to me.

I would advise young people today to live life to the fullest.You are never too old to do anything. Get a good education to prosper in life and no matter how busy life is make time for your family and your friends.

I wander'd lonely as a cloud That floats on high o'er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host of golden daffodils, Beside the lake, beneath the trees Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

‘Good food, good company, good craic’

Continuous as the stars that shine And twinkle on the milky way, They stretch'd in never-ending line Along the margin of a bay, Ten thousand saw I at a glance Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they Out-did the sparkling waves in glee, A poet could not but be gay In such a jocund company!

I gazed - and gazed - but little thought What wealth the show to me had brought.

For oft, when on my couch I lie In vacant or in pensive mood, They flash upon that inward eye Which is the bliss of solitude, And then my heart with pleasure fills And dances with the daffodils.

William Wordsworth’s poem Daffodils offers ‘Bibi’ positive reflections for living a positive life.

Richie Collins, 92-years of age and a resident of CareChoice Nursing Home, Clonakilty, Co. Cork, used engagement with customers to add positivity to his life.

“

The positives for me of growing old are you receive more respect when you are older, you observe and see changes in society and the world, and you take great pride in watching children you have reared growing up. My family have brought me great happiness and I had great joy over the years of working with my wife. My work entailed meeting with customers who became friends and I enjoyed the chat and the gossip. Good food, good company and having the craic all lead to a long and happy life.

”

“

I set out on life’s journey hoping to end my life in the convent; but circumstances alter cases – broken noses alter faces! I am now in a nursing home which, in lots of ways, is like a convent – a communal life.

‘A house of my own out of the wind & the rain’s way’ Carmel O’ Callaghan cried bitter tears when she had to leave her lovely house and garden due to deteriorating health and move to a nursing home.

But the former teacher and nun has embraced the kindness and communal life within the Bon Secours Care Village in Cork. She is now blessed with the ‘shelter’ it is providing in her twilight years.

As a child I was in a very happy home and was very much the pet of Mum and Dad. I was one of two girls and in primary school we were blessed with very good teachers. We both did well in the primary cert and we graduated to the secondary school run by the nuns in St Maries of the Isle.This was a fee paying or ‘pension’ school. I came out with a good leaving cert and I decided I wanted to enter the convent and after some thought I was taken in by the convent in Cappoquin.That was in 1945 when I was just 19 years of age and I remained there until 1981.

I went to UCC, achieved a BA and returned to Cappoquin as a teacher till 1981. I got experience of all types of classes: girls, boys and then mixed. My life at that stage was centred on my work as a teacher. I got great satisfaction out of my relationship with the pupils.

Some of the pupils were not cooperative and gave many a headache trying to get them to concentrate on their work and pass exams. We had a policy that we would never lay a hand on a pupil, but instead we tried to encourage them along the way. I was fulfilled as a teacher and stayed there till I retired. I loved the children and no two days were the same, because no two children are the same.

We had many successes in the school which made it well worthwhile.

I remember when the Department of Education supplied school buses to bring in pupils from the country areas.

One of these pupils was a John Treacy.

He decided he enjoyed the trip better if he gave his bag a ride and ran after the bus.The result was that he became a famous cross-country runner, eventually becoming world champion. Our other great success was Tom McCarthy, the writer and poet.Towards the end of my time I took a sabbatical and went to live for a year in Stanbrook Abbey in Worcester. It was a contemplative life which I enjoyed but not one which I could continue for the rest of my life. So, I returned to Cappoquin.

In 1981 I retired and spent three years working with a local convent gardener.

They were wonderful years for both of us.The numbers in our community went down and the school was amalgamated with Lismore and their nuns. Our convent eventually closed.

I came to Cork in 1984 and after much careful thought I was granted a dispensation from my vows. As a result, I lived for thirty years on my own in a rented house in Wilton.There I enjoyed very happy years where I had independence in my own home and was free to entertain my friends, especially those who needed a bed for all sorts of reasons. I enjoyed holidaying in Ireland. I am blessed with good memories of life in Ireland and England and of literature and poetry.This is particularly wonderful given my eyesight is gone. I can go back to Bóthár na Smaointe (memory lane) for example, or revisit my trip to Lourdes in 1960, taking in Paris on the go by. I also recall with great

fondness my visit to the North of Ireland to friends in Belfast and Enniskillen.

My eyesight began to deteriorate as a result of glaucoma and Charles Bonwell Syndrome. I eventually had to leave my lovely house and garden and come to a nursing home.This was very hard at first and I cried bitter tears. But I was given a lovely room overlooking a lawn and an ancient wood. I am looked after by an excellent staff who are most kind.They see to my every need and their help is most appreciated now that my eyesight is going. I have the lovely garden to walk every day and enjoy the unpolluted air on this hill overlooking the River Lee. I am independent, allowed privacy and I am not hampered in any way. Music is very important to me, especially Lyric FM, and I enjoy the many entertainers who come to play for us. I enjoy the activities organised and especially the twice weekly quiz. I have had the opportunity to form friendships with other residents and value that we have a chapel which I can visit at any time. At 91, I am grateful that my brain is still active.

I have friends and interests and my family nearby who are very good to me.

I remember the words of the poem ‘An Old Woman of the Road’, I am praying to God on high, And I am praying him night and day, For a little house, A house of my own out of the wind’s and the rain’s way.

She had nowhere to go whereas I am blessed with the shelter of an excellent nursing home in my twilight years.

‘The Leprechaun’ 78 years ago there was wonderful joy for Tommy and Delia Kelly with the arrival of their daughter Eileen. It was a precious blessing. An attack by a swarm of bees late into a previous pregnancy had led to the passing of twin boys who would have preceded Eileen. Now Eileen Moughan, she recalls her childhood and is now embracing the positivity of life in Brooklodge Nursing Home, Ballyglunin, Co. Galway.

“

Once a year Dad passed outside our school room window with our generous load of turf for the school.

He waved in, the teacher waved out, but I was too shy and did no waving, keeping my head down.

Time passed, primary lessons were learned. Mammy and Daddy sent my sister Bridie and I to the convent boarding school in Claremorris. We went into the class for preparatory students. If you got the exam at

the end of the year you got to Preparatory College, an Irish college in Tourmakeady. I was good at singing so I got my Irish Education in the beautiful college on the shores of Lough Mask - Coláiste Muire,Tur Mhic Éadaigh, Maigh Eo. I learned many new lessons and met many new faces, especially my wonderful friends from Knock, Bernadette and Áine. Bernadette and I walked the walks talking history, while Áine was better at telling us jokes of home and kept us laughing.

‘Mac’ the Irish teacher was a walking terror, but I appreciated her Gaeilge iontach later on as I taught Gaeilge in the Secondary Convent in Castlerea.The reading sessions in the outstanding library on Sunday mornings were a real joy to me.

In the wonderful teacher’s training college Carysfort, I met the lovely English teacher Sr. Assissium.

She specialised in Anglo-Irish poetry, with her favourite being:

‘Four Ducks on a Pond’ William Allingham “A grass bank beyond, Blue sky of spring, White clouds on the wing, What a little thing, To remember for years, To remember with tears!”

As I was saying farewell to Carysfort, I was delighted to get the silver medal in education and my lovely, hardworking parents were as proud as punch.

Later on through all the learning, I was very happy to join the Legion of Mary when teaching in Bekan, County Mayo. I loved teaching and singing with the little children, na daoine beag maithe. I loved ‘I am the Music Man’ and ‘I Come From Fairy Land’.

Summer holidays were lovely and inspiring. I went on Legion of Mary working holidays in London twice, Manchester, and Nottingham.The work was worthwhile. I remember kneeling down in Hyde Park London on August 15th saying the rosary. After this an Irish fellow, a lapsed Catholic, came over to talk to me. He was impressed by our prayers and was sincere about returning to the faith. It is a touching moment that has lived with me.

My little story I still recall from childhood was Daddy sending me up to the far corner of the far field to catch the Leprechaun at home in Mayo.The Leprechaun was sitting on a stool making little shoes for the fairies.

According to Dad if we caught him and kept our eyes on him all the time,

he would give us a crock of gold. I never had the courage to go up.There he still sits on his little stool on moonlit nights mending his little shoes in the lovely village of Cloonbullan, Co. Mayo.

”

My aunt Evelyn told me that I had caught the Leprechaun with his crock of gold when I met my wonderful husband Frank. Also, my family has proven to be full of riches.

‘They are my family’ Paddy O’Dea, a 66-yearold resident of Caherass, views those surrounding him as family.

“

This is my home and I love it here.

It will be my home as long as I live.The people here are very good to me; they are my family. In Caherass I have people to talk to all the time. I’m fed well and love playing cards with the men.The sing-songs are great and ‘The Boys from the County Armagh’ is a favourite. My motto? Be nice to people and they will be nice to you.

“ ‘An Meitheal - the great buzz of activity’ Eileen of Brooklodge continues her writing observing the “great buzz of activity” in her new home.

After an accident and a period in Portiuncula Hospital, my son and I visited the Lodge.There I met Ann and her wonderful community of nurses, helpers and residents, moving happily in all directions. I sensed a lovely playful atmosphere, never a warlike word among the staff.Yet the reality of humanity is evident within.

A resident or two looked sad or lonely for home, maybe something like Wordsworth when he spoke of ‘the still sad music of humanity’.

Yet the great buzz of activity has reminded me of ‘An Meitheal’ the wonderful cooperation among the farmers in the countryside years ago.

In the course of the first week, I shared a bedroom with a mother of sixteen children, who is a lovely placid lady.

When her youngest child was nine years old, she and her husband went around the country dancing and dancing.This dancing earned them many trophies. I thought my great aunt Peg, a mother of thirteen in Boston, was the real heroine until I met this lady the mother of sixteen.

The good nurses and helpers give us wonderful care and good advice in a lovely cheerful manner, with two very gifted ladies providing amusements galore like bingo, story-telling, art and sing-songs.To my joy my night nurse Maureen told me that she is a staunch member of the Legion of Mary. She is getting me a brand new Tessera my older one has seen better days.

Many great friends and neighbours have visited us in Brooklodge, but I had a great Céad Míle Fáilte from my great school friend Bernadette, the mother of nine. We’ve kept in touch through thick and thin. She lives in Ballymote, Co. Sligo.

‘Enjoy life: you only get one shot at it’ Kathleen O’Conner is a 94-year-old resident of Glenashling Nursing Home in Co. Kildare. She has generated positive memories through her teaching and travel. She advises young people not to take life too seriously.

“

Growing old I suppose is all about surviving and not taking things in life too seriously. Advice I’d give to the young nowadays would be to keep busy and enjoy your life. You only get one shot at it. I’ve lived a positive life. I grew up in Listowel and came to Dublin at an early age with my sister and a friend. We shared a flat together and even though we had very little money, we had great fun. I trained to be a teacher in Limerick and my father, brother and sister were also teachers. My first post as a teacher was in Cavan but it was out in the middle of nowhere. The children were lovely but I felt very isolated. I enjoyed teaching and communicating with the children as in those days they had a lot of respect for their teachers. I also enjoyed travelling and went to different countries like France, Spain, Germany and America, where I visited a friend in New York and cousins in Chicago.

These generated very positive memories and now I’m living a positive life here in Glenashling. There is always somebody close by to help and to be on hand for a chat. Staff are very nice. I enjoy spending time on my own in my room, where I watch television or listen to the radio. I can join in group activities if I wish and enjoy going to the hairdresser once a week as we have great chats.

“ Snow in Valentia 88-year-old May Ryan, a resident of Valentia Nursing Home in Enniscorthy, Co. Wexford saw the positivity of life during the recent ‘Storm Emma’ which engulfed the country. Living on the east coast and in Wexford particularly, May and the residents of Valentia Nursing Home witnessed the brunt of the storm. May talks here about the great effort of the nursing home staff during the storm and the positivity which shone through during an otherwise stormy time.

I do believe that in all my 88 years I have never seen such an example of Christian charity as I experienced here among staff of Valentia Nursing Home during our heavy snow fall. One couldn’t help but notice the presence of care, loyalty and unselfishness. It was heroic courage – all for the sake of us old folks. As a resident, I never once heard a grumble about trying to manage under difficult circumstances.

Everyone went about briskly and efficiently, helping each other by taking jobs to which they were not accustomed. Those members of staff who lived anywhere near plodded up the avenue and many braved the elements in vehicles of some form or other to get here. Some didn’t leave the premises and we were well looked after at night. During the day meals were served, along with the ‘morning cuppa’ and the evening tea and biscuits.

Many staff left their usual bed to be here with us even until the next day. We were never lonely and it was an uplift when a smiling face passed the open door to wish us well. Even Belle, our therapeutic ‘puss’, made her presence felt and though frustrated, accepted the fact that birds were at a distance enjoying their ‘Flahavan’s Oat Flakes’.

Although for us residents, the time of the unrelenting snow was a change from the usual day-to-day living, still no one regretted hearing the thawdrops popping from the roof. I hope the dedicated staff enjoyed a pleasant and well-deserved rest afterwards.

‘Hands of friendship flower’ The residents of Haven Bay Care Centre, Co. Cork, created a centrepiece art project titled The Hand of Friendship Flower, using their hand outlines. It represents how important the residents feel about the positivity of friendship, being there for each other, enjoying each other’s company and being part of the community of Haven Bay. The Hands of Friendship Flower hangs centre place in the Kinsalebased nursing home.

Drawing inspiration from it the residents, as part of the Care Centre’s activity programme, researched palmistry and discussed what the various lines on our hands represent, namely: life, marriage, heart, health, fate, money, sun and head.

Residents read and considered lots of inspirational quotations and chose the ones which best represented each line on our palms. The project brought great enjoyment, evoking much discussion and focusing on the important and positive things in life. The inspirational quotes picked by the residents follow.

Marriage Line “Optimism is a happiness magnet if you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.”

Mary Lou Retton

Head Line “A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.”

Herm Allbright

Money Line “The harvest of old age is the recollection and abundance of blessings previously secured.”

Cicero

Life Line “Old age is just a record of one’s whole life.”

Muhammad Ali

Sun Line “Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.”

Maurice Chevalier

Fate Line “Old age, believe me, is a good and pleasant thing. It is true we are gently shouldered off the stage, but then you are given such a comfortable front stall as a spectator.”

Confucius

Health Line “Old age has its pleasures which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth.”

W. Somerset Maugham

Heart Line “Cherish all your happy moments; they make a fine cushion for old age.”

Booth Tarkington

‘I don’t have time to do all the things I’d like to do’ Margaret ‘Peg’ Riordan and Patrick O’Neill are residents of St. Joseph’s Nursing Home in Killorglin, Co. Kerry. Peg turned 104 years-of-age, with her son James attributing her longevity largely to the care she has received in the nursing home over the years. Patrick, who is 86 years-of-age, has lived in St Joseph’s with his wife Eta for almost a year.

He is happy that he and his wife have settled in so quickly and that their needs are well looked after at all times.

“Somebody asked me recently do I get bored” Patrick explains. “My answer was that not only do I not get bored, but I don’t have time to do all the things I would like to do. I get the daily newspaper and have access to the radio and television.These enable me to keep in touch with what’s going on in the world. I have taken up advice offered to go out when I am able to do so. With the help of some friends I visit my old home for a few hours each week.Then there are the activities promoted in the home such as rosary, bingo, Sonas group sessions, arts & crafts, and more. As an avid reader, there is a variety of books available to me, including some I brought from the shelf at home which were waiting to be read.

All-in-all it makes for a fulfilled life.”

“Eta, my wife, and I have settled in very quickly to St. Joseph’s.This is mainly due to the friendliness of the staff and their helpfulness at all times. Eta needs total care and she gets it at all times. For myself, all my needs are catered for – spiritual, medical and whatever else is required. Well-cooked and nourishing meals are provided as well a comfortable bed to lie in. All of this gives us a great sense of security.The driving force behind the great care we are receiving is the Sisters of St. Joseph’s.They are highly visible at all times and sensitive to the needs of the residents.”

“Looking back on a long life, I see that my Catholic faith has had a major bearing on the journey. I see that my Mother’s example had a big part to play in putting that spark of faith in me. As a woman who had to bear enormous responsibilities after my Father passed away, she had to cope with raising a young family and running the small farm we had in difficult wartime conditions. I see her indomitable will as a product of her strong faith and robust health”.

Patrick considers wise words he would offer younger generations.

“With regards to words of wisdom, I would say do unto others as you would wish them to do unto you.”

Peg’s son James speaks on her behalf.

“My Mother has been a resident of St. Joseph’s for the past 18 years.

The Sisters and staff have not only looked after all of Peg’s physical requirements but have ensured that the last number of years have been filled with care and attention to her spiritual and emotional needs. Peg has led a very happy life here over the years. She has enjoyed visiting the beautiful chapel and has had the opportunity to receive the Eucharist daily, which means a lot to her.”

“She has spent many enjoyable hours in the day-room talking to friends and family, reading the newspapers, listening to the radio and watching television. Being able to enjoy these simple pleasures in life in such comfortable surroundings is so important. Enjoying lovely food, having friends and family around you, living in a peaceful and secure

environment are the things we would all hope for in our later years.”

“On St Patrick’s Day last, the foyer of the home was beautifully decorated for the day by the Sisters and staff and each of the residents were proudly wearing their shamrocks.

They all looked so happy and content as they enjoyed the celebrations.

It is these small personal touches that makes the care here so special.

We always know that the smile Peg has when we visit and the happiness she feels is testament to the way she has been cared for”.

Sister Mary Walsh, a resident of Queen of Peace Nursing Home, Knock, Co Mayo.

“Get up, get out there and do things”.

Winnie Drury, a resident of Queen of Peace Nursing Home, Knock, Co Mayo.

“To be the best you can, work hard – it never did anyone harm”.

Veronica Freyne, a resident of Queen of Peace Nursing Home, Knock, Co Mayo.

“Life is short, live it. Don’t wait around for things to happen, make it happen”.

Eamonn Campbell, a resident of Queen of Peace Nursing Home, Knock, Co Mayo.

“As I grow older, I’m much more content and happy with myself; this comes with age”.

My Personal Yearning Émer O’Tiarneigh is the ‘poet laureate’ in Moycullen Nursing Home, Co. Galway. Originally from Clybaun, Emer has always held a love of writing and has written a number of pieces for local papers. She will often write poems to mark special events within the nursing home.

Oh how I yearn to be a while, Perhaps a day alone, To be in quiet solitude, Away from wants, desires and cares, To come and go, Whene’re I wish, Whene’re I please, To where I wander lonely with the breeze.

Oh to dwell in a simple solid hut, On golden islands sands of Inis Thiar, With glorious nature serving as my company, The sky, the seas, the barren lands.

I should be happy thus, To rise at break of day, And feel the dormant heat of sun, Gather herbs and food farm, And line and bask in warm sultry day.

My heavy weight of tribulation await, And then when night should come, And cast her dark cloak o’er the earth, In my hut I should kneel and pray, And thank my ethereal God, For my peaceful, happy day.

‘Watching the farmers go by’ Ernest Bates got his hands on the Liam MacCarthy Cup in 2016 and enjoys the company of his ‘lovely circle of friends’.

Life has improved for the 80-year-old since he moved to St Martha’s Nursing Home, Cahir, Co. Tipperary.

“

My nursing home is situated at the foot of the Galtee Mountains. I thoroughly enjoy sitting out in the gardens and watching the farmers go by. My family and friends are always made feel very welcome when they visit.

To say the least, the last year-and-a-half living in my new home in St Marthas have been very comfortable. It is a very homely place and encourages the residents to follow their own routines that they have been accustomed to over periods that go beyond 90 years. It’s a place where time is given to listen to the residents’ point of view. We can make suggestions and be involved in decisions through our monthly residents’ meetings.

I feel safe and have a feeling of having family constantly around me. My health has improved since I started living here because of the regular meals, with my preferred choice always catered for and never a problem. Also getting my medication on time has improved my general health. I have no worries as all my needs are taken care of and I am

encouraged and helped to organise visits home. I brought in furniture from my own home which was very comforting for me when I first came.

I have met a lovely circle of friends who I enjoy chatting with. I also have the privacy of my own room where I can chat to my family and friends on the phone. I enjoy taking part in all the daily activities, from the exercise programme to boules, bingo, word-games, marbles, visiting music sessions and taking part in the Sonas reminiscence programme, where I always have a tale or two to tell.

In 2016 when Tipperary won the All Ireland Hurling Final the Liam MacCarthy Cup and players visited the home. In 2017 it was the ladies turn and the winning captain of the Tipperary football team, winners of the All Ireland, visited. We don’t miss out on any events.

For me, living in St Marthas has given me a great sense of security and comfort. It has given me the opportunity to meet new people and encounter new experiences, even at my age.

‘The lay of the last minstrel’ Seven residents of St. Peter’s Nursing Home in Castlebellingham, Co. Louth, sat down with activities co-ordinator, Margo. They discussed happy life memories, the positivity in growing old and provided valuable advice and words of wisdom to the younger generations. Tess Roe, 99, has lived locally for almost a century, working with her sister on the family farm. Her father was a stone mason who built many houses and buildings in the area which are still standing to this day. Peter Cameron is 83-years-of-age and lived in Perth, Western Australia, for many years. After a life of adventure, he advises people to ‘look after their feet’. Bridie Harrison, 82, lived in London and met her husband after they got on the same bus and he offered to pay her fare. James and Pauline Balfe, aged 89 and 86 years, are a husband and wife who are enjoying life together and reflect upon the happy life together that they have lived. Tom Murphy, 79, joined the FCA before becoming a paratrooper deployed in Cyprus and Turkey. Tony O’Brien, 86, loves both music and reading. He set up a band ‘The Briny Folk’ with his wife and toured around different pubs performing gigs.

“Growing old is a wonderful privilege,” Tess tells the discussion. “I stay awake at night reminiscing and remembering times gone by. I’ve met so many wonderful friends throughout my long life. I really enjoy passing on family traditions and I’m happy and grateful to be able to get about and help other people too,” Bridie adds. James offers some of his proudest achievements.

“In 1954 I had the pleasure to help set up a male voice choir which is still going strong. It’s great to look back at all the things that were important to us at different times. A great help for me was to marry my love and I’m lucky to have met the right woman”.

His wife Pauline adds: “I love being around all the people I grew up with and had fun with and I love family life with all its ups and downs.”

Conversation turns to their lives present day and how they have adapted nursing home living. “I am taken care of here,” Peter states. “I have lovely carers and plenty of company”. Tom comments: “I’m happy to be here, the people are so nice. I have my own little group of friends who I chat with and watch my western John Wayne movies with.The staff are so good to me.” Tony speaks of friendship. “I’ve made loads of new friends – the banter we have together! My favourite thing to do is have a singalong with my friends. I like the mix of people that are here. I have company all the time and have different conversations every day. I don’t get lonely.”

With the great life experiences that they have behind them, the group are asked to divulge any words of wisdom or advice that has helped them to live

a life of positivity and happiness.

• “ Don’t keep bitterness bottled up, it’s good to talk. Never, never judge people or situations and be kind to everyone,” Tess Roe • “ If you can’t do a good turn, don’t do a bad one,” Peter Cameron • “ Thank God every morning when you’re able to rise and shine. Never cast a cloth until May is out because you never know when it will get cold, especially in Ireland,” Bridie Harrison • “ Give all the help you can to other people who have not been lucky with their lives. Do unto others as you would like done unto you,” James Balfe • “ Live each day as it comes. Just be friendly to everyone – if they want to fight, don’t retaliate – just let them fight on their own,” Pauline Balfe • “ Eat plenty of garlic to kill all the bad bacteria. Always be happy; smile. Don’t worry too much because stress will speed up your life,” Tom Murphy • “ Always look on the bright side of life.

Learn as much as you can, learning keeps you young,” Tony O’Brien With a shared love of music and poetry, the residents considered songs and poems that promote positive reflections. Pauline tells us how she is always singing ‘Enjoy Yourself’ by The Specials, helping her to remain positive throughout the day.Tom loves reading Patrick Kavanagh’s ‘On Raglan Road’.

Tess provides an extract from Walter Scott’s ‘The Lay of the Last Minstrel’:

Breathes there the man, with soul so dead, Who never to himself hath said, This is my own, my native land!

Whose heart hath ne’er within him burn’d, As home his footsteps he hath turn’d, From wandering on a foreign strand!

If such there breathe, go, mark him well, For him no Minstrel raptures swell, High though his titles, proud his name, Boundless his wealth as wish can claim, Despite those titles, power, and pelf, The wretch, concentred all in self, Living, shall forfeit fair renown, And, doubly dying, shall go down, To the vile dust, from whence he sprung, Unwept, unhonour’d, and unsung.

Peter shares a poem that was written by his wife Toni Cameron: Wait till you’re old yourself one day, You don’t notice your teeth will fall out, Things will go astray, You’ll forget just what you were going to say, You’ll go upstairs or to another room and not remember what you were after, You’ll hum to yourself and drive others crazy, You’ll get busy doing all sorts, so you’re not considered lazy

(top - bottom) Bridie Harrison (left), Tess Roe (right), Pauline Balfe & husband James (left), Tom Murphy (right), James Balfe with wife Pauline & daughter Julie, Peter Cameron & wife Toni & Tony O’Brien.

‘Keep the faith’ James O’Donnell, a 79-year-old resident of Caherass Nursing Home in Co. Limerick, advises young people that faith provides hope.

“

“ ”

My advice to younger people is ‘keep the faith’. I wouldn’t be a ‘Holy Joe’ but the way things are going today I’m afraid for younger people.

Faith gives hope. Words of wisdom I’d offer: take every day as it comes and don’t worry about tomorrow, it’s a new day. As for living to be an old age, life is about quality not quantity.The nursing home is now my community. I enjoy company all day. I have security, comfort, a good choice of food and I help in the garden. I get great attention from the staff. I am free to come and go as I please and go for walks and regular exercise.

I feel safe here and I am happy.

‘The day Lucy the dog became a permanent visitor’

93-year-old Michael Hennessy speaks of the ‘journey’ he has undertaken the past 13 years since he moved into Amberley Home & Retirement Cottages, Fermoy, Co. Cork. He recalls an early celebration with the local ‘bigwigs’ in the newly established Amberley when he and his friend Kevin were the only residents in attendance and enjoyed a beer outside in the sun. He also recalls the day stray dog Lucy came to visit and became part of his and other residents’ lives.

“ ”

I moved to Amberley in April 2005 at the age of 80. I was living with my niece before that and we were looking for somewhere for me to live where I could still have my independence and yet know that there was assistance nearby if I needed it. I am diabetic and while I was managing the condition myself, my niece felt it would be important to have medical help nearby.

The Matron, Patricia, said that they would see if the owners could be found or contacted but no one ever came to claim her. She became part of the family and I started taking her for walks, which I loved. Lucy had no fear whatsoever and one day she nearly ran across in front of a lorry.The fright she gave me! She was fine but we didn’t go out by the road after that.

I first lived in the cottages themselves.

I was the first tenant and I had the pick of them so I chose number one because it is beside the woods. I looked after myself, doing my own cooking and cleaning, but after a while I started getting help from the nursing staff to control my diabetes. I also started coming to the home for dinner occasionally.

For activities, at the start we went by bus to Clúinn Dara once a week on a Thursday. We would usually spend the afternoon playing bingo.Then John Conway started the bus outings.The first time we went out was to go to confession in Mount Melleray and I still love going there every year. After a while we started going to other places like the Nano Nagle Centre, Parsons Green, Kilcoran Lodge or out for a picnic. I love going for a drive.

At the start there were only a couple of residents living here. Kevin Whealey had moved in the same month as me and he was living in the nursing home. I remember the first August that we were living there the Matron, Patricia Guilfoil, and we had a party on a Friday night.

They were cutting the crops in the field across from us and all the bigwigs from the area were at the party: doctors,TD’s, chemists, local Gardaí and many more. Kevin and I were the only residents there and I remember sitting outside drinking beer with the sun shining; it was a great evening.

I also fondly remember the day Lucy the dog came to the home.There was a lady living in the home whose husband used to visit every day. He turned up one day with this gorgeous puppy. He said that he nearly hit her when he was driving on the way here.

I am living in the nursing home fulltime now. Sometimes I do miss the independence I had in my cottage but I live a very happy life. It is great to have the support of the staff who are wonderful and really so helpful.

My room is large and comfortable and I have everything I need. I love the activities and helping out. I set up the microphone when there is music and I also love helping out when there is Mass - ringing the bell and doing the rosary every evening.

”

Michael Hennessy, Lucy the Dog & Breda Patterson.

“

‘Put yourself in God’s hands’

Joan Cotter is 95 years-of-age and is a resident of Douglas Nursing home in Moneygourney, Douglas, Co. Cork. She wishes luck to the younger generation making their way through their own life journeys and advocates the importance of faith.

I am enjoying the company of the other people who are the same as myself. We are here for a reason; we can make life enjoyable for others too. I feel safe, especially in the bad weather and my family are not worried about me as long as I am here. When you are home alone it is natural for your family to worry about you. A lot depends on the attitude of the staff in care, but it is great here. I can do a lot of activities here in the nursing home; I can cook, knit and join in on sing-a-longs.

Try telling the young generation about how to live life? Best of luck!

Life teaches them the most; they must adapt to life. Be friendly to others and you will make friends. Get on well together as a family. Be there for your family if they ever need you.

My mother told me: ‘live as long as you can and die when you must’.

”

Joan offers words of wisdom relating to faith that have helped to guide her through life.

“Wherever you are in your life, the Lord and Guardian Angels will guide you in the right direction” “Put yourself in God’s hands and he will do the rest for you”

“

‘Many activities keep me occupied’ Chris Darcy served as President of the Gaelic League in New York and was active within his community when he returned to Ireland.

The 95-year-old moved to nursing home care to support his late wife Máire and writes of an active, independent, happy and fulfilling life.

“

I was born in Terryglass, Nenagh, in 1923 and went to Terryglass National School until I was fourteen years old.

After leaving school I commenced work in various jobs, working on a poultry farm and in a grain store for some years. I was very involved in my community and was a member of the FCA. I was involved with the local regatta club as their secretary as well as being a member of the local boxing and drama clubs. I was also in a local dance band and have always loved music.

In 1955 I emigrated to the USA as work was very scarce in Ireland. I worked very hard there and held down two jobs to make as much money as I could. I also got involved in the social scene there, mainly with Irish emigrants.

I was president of the Gaelic League in New York, which promoted Irish culture. It was there that I met my future wife Máire Keogh, from Dublin, and we got married in 1966. We decided to return to Ireland in 1968 when we were expecting our first baby and wanted to rear our child in Dublin. Sadly, our child passed away at ten months due

to an acute episode of Croup and this was a very traumatic time for us.

We bought a house in Drumcondra in Dublin and I got a job in Dublin Airport, where I worked for over 20 years. We enjoyed our time in Dublin and we ended up spending over 50 years there. We were very involved in the Parish of Marino and enjoyed life there. We had a holiday home back in my home of Terryglass in Nenagh and we enjoyed the many holidays we had there. Máire and I shared a love of music and attended many shows and concerts over the years.

As the years moved on, life changed for both of us in many ways. From a young age Máire had developed Rheumatoid Arthritis and this disability progressed over the years.Then about six years ago it became apparent that Máire was developing severe memory loss that was progressing rapidly. I was her sole carer and about two years ago the situation became unmanageable for me and we decided to sell our house in Marino and move to Knockeen Nursing Home in

Wexford.The reason we both moved to Knockeen was that I wanted to be with Máire, who now needed full-time care. We chose Wexford as my nephew was involved in the nursing home. We both settled in quickly and it was a great load off my shoulders to have Máire cared for while I was present with her. I developed my own routine with the help of the nursing home and this helped to occupy my time.

Sadly, Máire’s condition deteriorated and she passed away in November 2017 in the loving care of the staff in the nursing home. RIP. As Máire’s care all her life was my main priority, when she died it created a huge vacuum in my life and it has been difficult to adjust. I have always been very active and I thank God that I am still in very good health to this day and love to be occupied.

Since Máire’s death, the staff of Knockeen have made every effort to fill the vacuum that has occurred.They allow me my independence, which includes my two mile walk each day after breakfast. I’m also involved in the residents’ committee where we can express our views and opinions on changes for the betterment of the residents. I am responsible for caring for the plants and shrubs around the place and I also help organise sing songs and the playing of music for the other residents. I help with the religious service daily and the special services at Christmas and Easter time.

I love hurling and sport in general. I watch my native Tipperary playing hurling and the banter is great here in Wexford. I do a lot of reading when I can, including reading the daily

newspaper. I know many people will ask why am I in a nursing home when I am in very good health mentally and physically.The answer to that is I am leading a very happy and fulfilled life at present.The reason I came here was to seek full time care for my wife and I wanted to be with her. I have settled in very well here and I have my independence, which I appreciate very much. Nicola is the Director of Nursing here and she and her staff have made every effort to involve me in the various activities that take place. Eimear in administration, who is my grandniece, is a great support to me also. We get to go to many outside events throughout the year and I try to help any residents who are less able than I. I enjoy my own privacy when I desire it and I have whatever freedom I want.

I enjoy the involvement I have in the many activities and it keeps me occupied. I also like to talk to other residents and really enjoy when the staff are on their coffee round each morning, having the chat and the usual banter with them; there are some great characters here.The nursing home has an open-door policy and this gives the residents a lot of freedom. I sold our house in Dublin to fund our care and now I’m happy that I could do that.

At this stage of my life I often think if I was not in the nursing home here, I would be a terribly lonely man. I had no immediate family up in Dublin and I would be very isolated at this stage. I am so happy that I made the decision to move to Knockeen Nursing Home and I regard this place as my second home and my new family.

Chris Darcy & Great-grandnephew.

The Singing Club There is lots of entertainment going on in the house every day, So you just have to pick up and go, To pass the time away.

There is one you may not have tried yet, As through the program you sift.

Come along to the singing club, It will give your heart a lift.

There are some very good singers, And some mediocre ones too, Some people that have a few notes, And others that haven’t a clue.

Then there are those that are nervous, And sing alone in the dark, A few days with Bobby and Sabrina, They’ll be singing like the lark.

We already have had one show, And I think it went down very well, We are now rehearsing carols for Christmas, How that goes only time will tell.

So if you feel like singing or would like to give it a try, Just come along on a Tuesday, we’re there at 2:30 in Rye.

By Patsy O’Reilly, a resident of Parke House, Kilcock, Co. Kildare.

“

I have lovely memories of my childhood when times were so different. I remember at Christmas I would always ask for a doll and a pram. I spent endless hours washing and dressing the doll. I would patiently change her and keep her clothes well washed, folded and the doll warm at all times, as if she were my very own baby.

‘Treasure the gifts you have’ Ellen Broad, a resident of Gormanston Wood Nursing Home in Gormanston, Co. Meath, has recently reached the remarkable milestone of 100 years-of-age.

Her positive reflections encompass her childhood, raising a family and her life now as a nursing home resident. Ellen is still very active after a century of life, participating in any activities that are on offer.

She urges us to cherish the gifts we have and to not take them for granted.

It’s probably no surprise that the highlight of my life was getting married and having four live ‘dolls’ of my own.

I must say that a real baby was a bit of a shock. Not quite so easy as my pretend babies had been. I loved them all dearly and, of course, still do. My children’s names are George, Michael, Katherine and Hanna. In those days, more often than not, Mums would stay at home doing housework and baking.The children came home and in the evening set the table. When Dad got in we would sit around the table, say Grace and have our meals. I am delighted to reach this milestone in life and to have my lovely family around. I love having a mobile phone so I can contact friends and family regularly.

This phase of my life has been the most difficult but I am very happy here in Gormanston Wood as I really do need 24-hour care. I try my best to join in all the activities that are offered to me and at three o’clock every day one of my family will come and visit me for a couple of hours. I love the exercises we have twice a week and there is always something going on. I recently had the privilege of teaming up on a project with local school children which was very rewarding.

I thoroughly enjoyed watching Paddy, who travelled all the way from Cavan to demonstrate the art of basket weaving.

He grows the reeds in his garden.

Only about five basket makers exist in Ireland so I felt privileged to be able to meet him. I can go in the day room and sit with friends or stay in my room.

My children read the paper to me and I have the television to keep me up to date with events local and worldwide.

I have to say I have enjoyed every moment of my life so far. I am happy, warm, well-fed and really quite spoilt here in the nursing home. I thank God every day for my sight, hearing and mobility.You really do take so much for granted and only later in life do you realise what gifts you truly have.

‘The importance of family & showing kindness’

”

Margaret Gillick, Patrick Coyle and Sean Glynn are residents of Woodlands House Nursing Home in Navan, Co. Meath. Margaret is 87-years-old and spent many years as a nurse in England. The positivity of growing old for Margaret comes from being able to spend the years with her son, Steven. Patrick, also 87 years-of-age, is a former primary school principal and holds an All-Ireland Football winner’s medal for Donegal. Like Margaret, Patrick finds positivity in being able to spend time with his loved ones. Sean Glynn, age 78, taught English and History and is a well-travelled man, spending several years in Africa in the 1960s. Sean says he feels positive when he thinks about how comfortable and well-cared for he is, living in a nursing home. Staff of Woodlands House sat down with the aforementioned residents and asked them about their positive life experiences, the positivity they find in growing old, and for any advice they have that has served them well in life that could be offered to the youth of today.

Margaret is glad of the positive life experiences that have brought happiness and positivity to her life, such as her time as a nurse. She remembers affectionately all the good friends she made during this time. Margaret missed being at home on the farm when she lived in England but enjoyed getting the chance to look after people, which brought her great fulfilment. Being healthy is very important to Patrick and it is source of great happiness for him that he is in good health. Patrick looks back on his memories in life and finds positivity and contentment from his achievements in his career and in sport.

always be happy and try to stay healthy, as this has been a sustained source of happiness and positivity during his life.

When posed the same question, Sean advises that people should try and show kindness to everyone they meet.

Having security and being comfortable are important to Sean and it is both of these which afford Sean a positive outlook. He finds great security in knowing there is help available when required. Patrick enjoys living in a nursing home because he has met lovely people who are always willing to share a joke and a laugh, like Patrick himself. He says that he feels honoured to have the care that he receives and to have such a loving and caring family that make sure to visit him with regularity. Margaret shares these sentiments and is very grateful for the day-to-day care that she receives. She is delighted to have such a loving family with whom she has daily contact.

Margaret Gillick (left)

The residents were asked about any ethos or words of wisdom that stand out and could be offered as advice to the younger generations. Margaret comments that she would like to see young people focus on getting a qualification, having a good career and then eventually getting to see the world.

Patrick’s advice to young people is to

Patrick Coyle & Sean Glynn (right)

Veronica Freyne, a resident of Queen of Peace Nursing Home, Knock, Co Mayo.

“I have a lot less responsibility and I am closer to being in heaven as it is written in his plan. I have done the best I can to make sure my family were looked after and now I can see them settled and thriving”.

Bridget Ann, a resident of Queen of Peace Nursing Home, Knock, Co Mayo.

“It’s a great joy for the aged to see the young growing up healthy and lovely, ready to take their places in life”.

Evelyn Rafter, a resident of Queen of Peace Nursing Home, Knock, Co Mayo.

“I’m happy and content about being old and it’s nice to have people around me. I feel secure and that means everything”.

Change in a Lifetime Sometimes when sitting alone in my room I think of the times that have past, How quiet and peaceful life was then, now everything is moving so fast.

Things were fairly primitive then, there was no electric light, And people used the paraffin lamp and candles to help them through the night.

There were still mud cabins, with white-washed walls and thatch, Nobody afraid of burglars and the door left on the latch.

The children walked to school, with their books in a bag on their back, And also there a jam sandwich to have for the midday snack.

The water used for cooking and drinking was taken from the well While for washing and cleaning, a pipe from the roof collected the rain that fell.

There were very few cars on the road, so it was either the bike or go walking, With a salutation to everyone and always time for talking.

The horse was very important then, for ploughing and cutting corn and grass, Then yoked in the cart for work on the farm and in the trap on Sunday for Mass.

Things have changed so rapidly, it’s hard to understand, There’s now a machine for every job that has to be done on the land.

The same applies to the yard and house, Many things that were a chore can all be done with the turn of a switch, no problem anymore.

The art of conversation is gone, it’s phone, iPod and PlayStation Communication is now by text, every word an abbreviation.

Irish culture is dying fast, I partly blame the legislators, Instead of keeping the old laws, they are listening to agitators

By Patsy O’Reilly, a resident of Parke House, Kilcock, Co. Kildare.

‘Change your thinking’ Sheila Gallagher, a 78-year-old resident of Craddock House, Co. Kildare, advises people to break out of the prison of negative selfesteem and to develop a sense of inner adventure of the soul.

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It is a great moment when you break out of the prison of negative selfesteem and develop a sense of the inner adventure of the soul. Suddenly everything seems to become possible; you feel in the now and young.Think happy, feel happy, live in the moment and without judgements. Smile through life and have a good attitude.

Deal with upset in life but then put your troubles into an imaginary boat and cast it away not to be revisited.

To the younger generation there are three words I would advise:“change your thinking”. Look at thoughts as just thoughts, purposely not reacting to their content. In mindfulness, much of our struggles in life come from the mind craving for what we do not have or rejecting what we do have.

Positive memories in my life would include the birth of my children. I also was privileged to run my own hair salon in Ringsend and was blown over by the support and help received from my customers in difficult times or when I was ill.

Living in a nursing home gives me security, constant support, safety, great comfort and affection from all the management and staff. I am reassured about my health being cared for and I get the medical help I need.

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Sheila cites a poem by John O'Donohue from Eternal Echoes: Celtic Reflections on Our Yearning to Belong as providing her with inspiration and guidance. Extract provided:

“One of the most beautiful gifts in the world is the gift of encouragement.

When someone encourages you, that person helps you over a threshold you might otherwise never have crossed on your own.”

Another inspirational quote she lives by is inscribed on poet Seamus Heaney headstone: “Walk on air against your better judgement”.

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‘In the tapestry of life we are all connected’ On a daily basis, residents of Greenpark Nursing Home in Tuam gather to relax, meditate, pray and share stories.

Cathy, the facilitator of the gathering, asks the residents to reflect upon positivity within within their lives.

Sister Leo begins by seeking to capture the essence of the positivity of the daily gathering. “Each day we gather in a group, guided by a sensitive facilitator, where we are free to share our memories, our longings, express our needs, suggest and create new ideas for the benefit of all,” she states.

This forms the basis for the discussion.

Cathy poses the question. What does it mean to gather in a group?

Joan offers it is about friendship and connectivity and Bridie H believes the group is part of the community. Another Bridie adds: “What we have here is our own small community”. Nodlaig believes community manifests itself in the nursing home through residents and staff looking out for each other and being able to come and go.

The discussion moves onto Sister Leo’s observation about the group being guided by a sensitive facilitator.

Joan offers: “This is someone who asks us what we want to do rather than tell us what to. We all agree that it is someone who understands

our wishes wants and needs and endeavours to facilitate their fulfilment in as best a way as possible.”

Why are memories so important? Bridie H offers: “Memories define who we are and we want to share that with the people in our community.” Her fellow Bridie comments: “They [memories] are such a part of us and that we don’t want to lose them. It is a worry that as I get older I will lose those special memories that I have in my head. By sharing the memories others can help us to find them if we have difficulty recalling them in the future.”

Sister Leo points out that memories evoke emotions, both happy and sad, but without emotions what have we?

What do we long for? Joan states she long for cigarettes, Mary for blackberries, Sister Leo for coffee with milk, Bridie for Irish coffee and Maureen to go shopping before her trip to Lourdes. Mary longs for Galway to win the All Ireland. All very simple things. No lottery wins or big houses or Mercedes cars. Just the simple things.

Consideration is given to expressing our needs. Mary believes it is a gift to be able to ask for what you need. Bridie says: “They make you comfortable here in a way that makes it easy to ask and they know what you want even if you don’t ask.”

Creativity helps bring the residents together and is part of where they live. They are surrounded by their creations and those of fellow residents: little decorations, pieces of art. Their next plan is to yarn bomb (‘what young people call it) in the court yard. Smaller pieces

My marquee days Al O’Connor reflects very positively on the era of marquees and showbands, feeling like Elvis Presley as he travelled around on his Honda 50. He’s danced with New York and Kerry roses and good dancing partners were often treated to an orange and Choc Ice. The Kilrush Nursing Home resident recalls the golden era of showbands and good Irish craic.

contribute towards larger body of creativity within the nursing home.

The residents choose the following words to emphasis of the importance of creativity within their lives.

In the tapestry of life we are all connected Each one of us is a gift to those around us Helping each other to be who we are Weaving a perfect picture together

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I feel happiest when I am dancing. I love to jive. I learned how by watching others dance in the local marquees in the seventies.

I used to hear the music when I was young and out in the fields saving the hay with my father. I love music, especially rock and roll. Elvis Presley and Roy Orbison are among my favourite singers.

Kilmurry McMahon had the first marquee of the year at Easter. Doonbeg had one in May, Kilmihil in June and July. In September we had Lissycasey and Kilmaley.

The bands would play hail, rain or snow. It was about £5 to get in. No tea and buns in the marquee,

but a mineral bar that consisted of a plank held up by concrete blocks.

Sometimes there’d be vans outside selling ham sandwiches or burgers.

I loved the jiving. The good dancers would be up near the stage. It was great to have a good dancing partner, be able to spin her around on the floor to the beat of the music and maybe buy her a drink of orange or a Choc Ice afterwards.

Some lads would spend all their money in the pub beforehand and then have no money to get into the marquee. Some would try to sneak in. Committee members would man the entrances to keep them out.

They had some great bands at these marquees. I danced to the music of Big Tom, The Indians, The Conquerers, Gina Dale Hayes and the Champions, The Golden Star Band, Dickie Rock, Brendan Shine and Sheeba (Maxi, Dick & Twink), Joe Dolan and Brendan Boyer. They were great times.

The marquees were generally erected with six poles and a canvas. The stage was often just planks of timber across empty beer kegs. There might also be raised planks of timber along the sides of the tent which were used as seats. The girls would line up along one side and the lads on the other.

When the music started there would be a rush across the floor of lads asking girls to dance. Sometimes you might be refused. Once when I was refused, I told her she should have brought her knitting with her.

Generally I would go for a few drinks in the pub first and then go to the marquee around 10.30 or 11pm. The marquees

usually started at 9pm and the bands would play until 1am or sometimes it would be from 10pm to 2am.

I also liked to go to Ennis dancing.

The Queens and West County hotels would often have bands playing in their function rooms. The Jet Club was also a great place to go. Donie Collins used to bring the showbands there.

It was a different experience to the marquees. The women were not all lined up along one wall. There was no big push there at the start of the dance.

I liked going to the Lisdoonvarna festival too in September. I liked to go to the Rathbawn Hotel as there was good modern music there and I could jive. I would meet them afterwards outside the Golden Grill chip shop to get a lift home.

I danced with the New York Rose one night. There were lots of Galway women in Lisdoonvarna and Northern Irish women. I danced with the Kerry Rose during the Miltown Malbay Darling Girl from Clare contest.

I enjoyed life to the full. I was like Elvis Presley in those days. I used to drive a Honda 50 motor bike. I had the helmet and oil skins to protect me from the rain.

It was a great bike. I would pull down the choke, give it a kickstart and off I went. It did 130 miles to the gallon.

The marquees are gone now as are the showbands. But I still enjoy dancing and singing. The local pubs have music now at weekends and I like to go and listen while having a drink. Sometimes, there might even be dancing. It brings me back to the golden era of showbands and good Irish craic.

The Big Snow of 2018

It was fingers on the buzzers From midnight until dawn Then we called to Mary’s kitchen For porridge and brown bread Sure, Gran turned on the toaster We had plenty of Brennan’s bread

It came while we were sleeping The snow fell three feet deep The temperature was zero And the snow was knee deep

God bless Michelle and Jhona They kept the ship afloat And Marie O our captain She was last to leave the boat

No school for all the children They could all stay at home Unlike the Norwood carers Who had no choice at all

We can’t forget our Damien He put his life at risk To take us home to our families God’s greatest gift When Finola came on duty She gave us all a laugh She took her shovel and her axe And tried to clear the path

For Norwood Grange was calling And we all had to go To tend to all our residents Who needed all our care As I reached the gates of Norwood The sky was black as coal I met with Mary Moynihan And we threw a few snowballs We made a little snowman With a carrot for his nose Along came a hungry Harry And nibbled at his nose We all got down to business And had a lovely time But when we saw the blizzard We had to settle down Tanya had her night bag And granny her hold all But Mary Lehane’s furry Jammies Were the envy of us all Mary Murphy got excited She said “we’ll have a ball” But we were so disappointed We did not sleep at all

Marguerite and Erika, The new girls on the block As sound as the Rock of Cashel Sure they worked around the clock

Her arms they were aching Her fingers numb with cold “I’d rather be a Norwood nurse Than swing that pick and axe” So when us girls line up in heaven With Peter by our side Remember Lidia, Elaine and Mary Who fed the Norwood crowd And when we enter heaven And key in the code We’ll say we’re Charlie’s angels And Peter will let us in Now the snow has melted We all say “hip hooray” Sure I was reared so near the Galties It was déjà vu for me

By Noreen Coleman, Norwood Grange Nursing Home, Co. Cork

Sr. Colette Stafford, 98, Our Lady of Fatima Home, Tralee, Co. Kerry.

Lord for tomorrow’s needs I do not pray, but keep and guard me Lord just for today.

The advice I would give to the younger generation for to live life positively is acceptance. Accept all that comes your way whether good or bad, but make the most of the good times and be kind and generous to everyone you meet as it always comes back to you. The positives of life for me now in the nursing home is daily care, friendship and companionship.

Kathleen Walsh, 75, Our Lady of Fatima Home, Tralee, Co. Kerry.

The words of wisdom that I would like to offer other readers of the book is to do what you can to make life better for yourself, you have only one life and make the most of it. The most positive life experience that I had that brought happiness and friendship in to my life was moving in to Our Lady of Fatima nursing home. I lived alone at home since my father died in 1988, life was very lonely for me, as the years went by I saw fewer people and life became unbearable. I now have companionship and have made some very good friends here. There is something different to do every day here at Fatima Home.

Sr. Ita Rochford, 79, Our Lady of Fatima Home, Tralee, Co. Kerry.

Words of wisdom. If I can help someone along the journey of life, then my life will not be in vain.

Take every day as it comes and enjoy the little things.

Sr. Mary Cunningham, 84, Our Lady of Fatima Home, Tralee, Co. Kerry.

The positivity of growing old is that you become wiser every day with life experiences. The only way to live your life is to have a positive outlook, always look on the bright side and do not take life too seriously. The positives of my life now living in the nursing home are friendships, happiness and no more loneliness.

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I have always been the type of person who liked to help others and am thankful I can continue to do this today by helping out fellow residents and staff in any way I can.

Here are some of the lessons life has taught me: • Live one day at a time • Let go of disappointment and sadness • Try not to dwell on things

‘Devotion to Our Lady’ Margaret Farrell is 86 years-of-age and is a resident of Parke House Nursing Home in Kilcock, Co. Kildare.

Margaret discusses the lessons that she has learned on the journey of life and how her faith has helped her along the way.

• B e happy and enjoy what you have here and now • H ave prayer in your life and be accepting of what God sends I have always had great devotion to Our Lady and I truly believe she has helped me through life. I married Owen when I was 32 years old and longed for a baby. I asked Our Lady to help and when I was 38 she sent us four children in three years; we were truly blessed. I feel sad for the younger generation, it’s all so materialistic now and for many God isn’t a part of their lives. God is being taken out of everything in society.

The words of the Memorare prayer are particularly dear to me. When I say this prayer I am reminding Our Lady that she has never failed to help me. It is a prayer about having trust and saying thanks.

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REMEMBER, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help, or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly to thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother; to thee I do come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in Thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.

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‘Cranking up for the free birds to travel’ Sheelagh Kearney, Griffeen Valley Nursing Home, Lucan, Co Dublin.

“I met my husband John when I was 15 years old. I told him I was 19 and he believed me. We started courting and fell in love. John decided he wanted to buy his first car. I was at home waiting for him to arrive in his lovely new motor. When he arrived outside I thought it was great. He paid 40 pound for it but every time we wanted to go out, we had to crank it up with a special key that you stuck in the middle of the engine in the front in the car. It was like a train starting up. We got some value out of that car. We were as free as birds driving anywhere and everywhere around Ireland. When it came time to sell it we got 50 pound back. We then used this 50 pound as a deposit on our first house. I can still hear that car starting every time I hear a train.”

‘Jelly laughs’ Rose O’Reilly, a resident of Griffeen Valley Nursing Home, Lucan, Co Dublin.

“When I married times were hard in Dublin. We didn’t have much luxuries as we couldn’t afford them.The one thing I did like to have and try was jelly on a Sunday for after our dinner. I had a large family, so it had to go a long way. I had a great neighbour and friend named Peg. She would come down to my house and I would go up to her in the evening to see if either of us needed a hand to do anything.This particular evening, I was in top of my usual housework, so I decided to start preparing Sunday dinner. I may my lovely lemon jelly and put it to set. Peg arrived to the house full of chat about the advents of her busy day. I was folding the laundry in the corner unaware of what she was doing. Peg arrived out of the kitchen and asked me was that my jelly and that she would make it while she boiled the kettle for a cuppa for us. I looked at the bowl in her hand and said ‘Peg, you just threw my jelly down the sink’. Well we laughed for years about that.”

‘The devil & the game of cards’ John O’Neill is a resident of Griffeen Valley Nursing Home, Lucan, Co. Dublin.

“When I was a young boy a story about the devil appearing in the fireplace was told to me by my father and it goes like this. One night the master of the house Lord Crew and a few of the night men, including my father, decided to play a card game.

Everything was going great until one of the men thought his cards should have been the winning hand. A shouting argument ensued, and all of the men were standing around the table. It was getting very heated. All of a sudden there was a gush of wind from the log-fire.The deck of cards all blew away toward the fire and the devil’s face appeared out of the smoke. Next thing the cards came flying back and one of them hit the mirror on the main wall.The mirror cracked all the way down thru the middle; everyone ran from the room.The mirror and fireplace is still there now. People can now go and walk on guided tours around Castletown House. But I was a young boy who lived there and was always afraid of that room.”

‘Great blessings & happiness’ Eileen Ó Donnaibhin, Griffeen Valley Nursing Home, Lucan, Co. Dublin.

“I have travelled the world with my husband, Donnacha, and made many friends along the way. We loved to travel and see different cultures. I think in all my life memories, the ones I best remember and love to talk are around my two daughters Nuala and Aideen. Myself and my husband couldn’t have children of our own. When we put in to adopt a child, we thought we were blessed with our first little girl Nuala, but two years later we were blessed to have the chance to adopt again: our second daughter Aideen.They have brought us so much joy and happiness throughout our lives; we couldn’t ask for more. We now have beautiful grandchildren as well. My husband lived to be 100 years old and I am 93 years young. I still love my make-up, jewellery and stylish clothing.”

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‘The soldier who ran’ Mary Harris, Griffeen Valley Nursing Home, Lucan, Co. Dublin.

“When I was younger I didn’t date much. I enjoyed the company of my family and work colleagues. We went everywhere together. I was very close to my sister, Sadie; we were great friends. My mother died when we were young, so myself and Sadie looked after the younger ones. I remember one time I did find someone to love - a soldier. I told him to call for me at seven o’ clock and we would go to the cinema together. Well the look on Sadie’s face when she opened the door to my soldier boy – she ran him from the door and told him never to come back again!

Well that was the end of my love life! I never saw him again and I never married.

Sadie did marry and had a family. Perhaps it’s a case of what might have been but myself and Sadie went on to live together and I enjoyed a very happy life with her.”

‘Make friends who’ll laugh with you’

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By Patsy O’Reilly, a resident of Parke House, Kilcock, Co. Kildare.

When we are young and carefree we never think of old age.The years pass, we get married, we have children, they grow up and we hope we live to see our grandchildren. I’m sure everybody would like to live to old age.

One very important thing in life is to be happy. Whatever course you take in life, be content in your work. Being involved in sport helps you stay healthy and fit. Make friends and have a chat and a laugh.There is an old saying: ‘laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone’.

I am now 94 years-of-age and a resident of Parke House Nursing Home and I could not be happier.There is something to suit all tastes including music, cards, bingo and discussion groups. One thing that’s very important if and when you need care in a Nursing Home is to check out which home suits you best and supplies suitable entertainment. Be reconciled to the fact that you need this attention. Make friends and other residents and try to settle in.You will get used to the routines; I know it’s different for some especially if bedridden but try and keep a positive attitude, possibly by reading and TV. Mobile phones are very important, they keep you in touch with what’s happening in the local area and if you feel lonely you can always ring a friend and have a chat.