Northwest Boomer and Senior News Linn-Benton Edition March 2018 by Northwest50Plus

FREE ! LINN & BENTON COUNTIES EDITION MARCH 2018

Peace train ■ Alice Carter realized it’s never too late to fulfill her dream to serve

Courtesy photos

Alice Carter of Corvallis was the oldest-serving volunteer when she served in the Peace Corps. She “held out” and was assigned to Morocco, where she taught at a youth center. Below, her adventures included this ride on a camel. own, was active in the civil rights movement and protested the Vietnam War during the JFK era. It inspired her to earn a master’s degree in history, which she put to use tutoring international students at the University of Massachusetts in Boston for 15 years. She also tutored inner-city kids, but even at age 86, she wanted to do more. “After cancer surgery in 2009, I rested a bit until my energy returned,” she says. “Then I began searching for tutoring jobs, but my age was a handicap.” As soon as Carter found out the Peace Corps has no age limit, she applied online. After finishing pre-admission tests and getting required medical exams, she was officially accepted into the Peace Corps. “I wanted to go to Morocco, so I

By MARY OWEN BOOMER & SENIOR NEWS

“Slow down” are two words Alice Carter does not keep in her verbal dictionary. “I like being very active,” says the 88-year-old, who finished two years of Peace Corps service last year. “The Peace Corps is a good way for seniors to serve in a meaningful way, making connections of a good kind with another country and its citizens.” At the time, she was the oldest serving volunteer. She credits former President John F. Kennedy’s speech for her interest in the Peace Corps. “I heard Kennedy’s speech and tucked it away for later,” Carter says. “I was committed to non-violent Christian faith. It seemed like the antidote to our constant wars.” Carter raised six children on her

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held out,” she says, chuckling. “I think I was the oldest working person in Morocco, too.” Carter served as a teacher at a dar chebab, a youth center in Sidi Allal el Bahraoui, where she taught such topics as Native American history, human origins and migration, conflict resolution and mountain climbing. The Peace Corps’ unofficial motto is “go where the youth go.” Because PC is only in Morocco at the government’s request, most of Carter’s work was done in government buildings under the jurisdiction of the Ministry of Youth and Sports. “Two security systems were in play — you had to let the Peace Corps and the local police know when you left your site,” says Carter, whose site operated with herself, another American and about 40 Moroccans. “It was pretty

INSIDE

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2 LINN-BENTON EDITION

NW BOOMER & SENIOR NEWS • MARCH 2018

PEACE CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 safe. Morocco is a small country. Everybody knows everybody. It’s a beautiful country with wonderful food, very hospitable people — very friendly.” Carter’s biggest challenge was learning enough deriga, their Arabic dialect, “to do life.” “I gained a new experience of my own culture, by the immense contrast in customs and culture in the Muslim world,” she says. “Experiencing a country that had recently been colonized in the last 50 years changed my thinking. I now see the bigger picture of American history.” Carter, who now lives in Corvallis, recommends the Peace Corps for any senior who is interested in serving. “One of the things I like about the Peace Corps is ‘peace,’” she says. “It’s really the best PR we have in a country.” More than 230,000 Americans have served in the Peace Corps since it was officially established March 1, 1961. Almost half of the volunteers serve in Africa in the fields of education and health. The majority of volunteers are single women, serving in 141 host countries. Six percent of the volunteers are over age 50. The Peace Corps provides each volunteer with housing and a living stipend that enables them to live in a manner similar to people in their community of service, and there is no charge to participate. Covered costs include travel to and from the host country, and medical and dental care. After two years of service, the Peace Corps provides each volunteer with more than $8,000 (pre-tax) to help with the transition to life back home, according to website information. “If I were younger, I’d do it again,” Carter says. “The Peace Corps kept me physically and mentally active. It was great fun, hard work, and the relationships with my fellow PC volunteers as well as the students and all the Moroccans I met are an enduring gift.” ■

Courtesy photos

Alice Carter (front right) enjoyed making friends with other Peace Corps volunteers as well as making lifelong friends with the youth she worked with in Morocco.

“It was pretty safe. Morocco is a small country. Everybody knows everybody. It’s a beautiful country with wonderful food, very hospitable people — very friendly.”

Alice Carter Peace Corps volunteer

Of note

To find out if the Peace Corps is right for you, attend an information session at 4 p.m. Feb. 28, at Linfield College, or 4:10 p.m. March 1, at George Fox University. For more information on specific locations, contact recruiter Scot Roskelley at 503-290-4024 or sroskelley@peacecorps.gov.

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MARCH 2018 • nwboomerandseniornews.com

Idea brings a lifeline to shut-ins THE WISHING WELL

By B. LEE COYNE, MSW

Nobody knows in advance which of us seniors will end up being homebound. It could be those we least expect. The needs of our shut-ins often get marginalized. That may be because our lawmakers seek votes with the “well” elderly in senior centers but have virtually no personal contact with the homebound seniors. They’re almost treated like invisibles. But this must end. As a geriatric social worker now semi-retired, I’m devoting this first column to our homebound friends out there. You can readily expect some fresh ideas. In my opinion, isolation is the foe to overcome. Back in the 1980s in Queens, New York, two ladies active in our senior forum suddenly developed heart problems. They were given meals-onwheels deliveries. But that wasn’t enough. Deborah called to appeal for some mental stimulation, yet I had no instant remedy to offer. Then, the district Social Security rep came knocking on my door. He wanted a date to speak to our senior center forum. His topic: Medicare upgrades in services provided. I asked the speaker-to-be to also consider homebound seniors. “I can’t go around door to door,” he responded, and I had to agree. Then I introduced the possibility of using conference calling. He loved that

idea. We called it “Sunshine Line.” Here’s how it works: 1. Seniors are alerted in advance of the day and call time. 2. A conference call operater is supplied with the names and numbers of participants. 3. At the assigned time, the social worker introduces the group and the guest. This could come after the guest has already spoken to the senior center group. 4. The speaker shares information, followed up by a Q&A session over the phone. 5. At the 15-minute mark, the operator states that call will close in five min-

Get help with taxes

LINN-BENTON EDITION

utes. This supplies a closure device. Sunshine Line proved to be a huge success. It was later duplicated in Virginia, and written about in the Washington Post. We have yet to see this happen here out in the West. But I want Oregon to be the pioneer. Can you imagine how many more people we could reach through a pilot program? We could bring “sunshine” into the lives of shut-ins. Tell your legislator to support this at a small cost to taxpayers. May those dim days begin to brighten for everyone. ■ (Lee Coyne lives in Salem. He can be reached at luckycoyne@yahoo.com.)

AARP Tax-Aide volunteer counselors will prepare your basic tax returns, through April 13, at both Albany Senior Center and Albany Public Library. This service is for people of all ages and incomes. To help avoid long waits, appointments are required. The volunteers will be preparing taxes at the Albany Senior Center from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday, Wednesday and Friday. They will be at the Albany Public Library main branch from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Tuesday, and 1:30 to 2:30 p.m. Saturday. Call the Albany Senior Center, 541-917-7760, to make an appointment for either location. Please remember to bring with you a summary of your various deductions such as medical, medical miles, charitable miles, charitable cash contributions, and non-cash donations up to a maximum of $500. Also bring last year’s tax return, your 2017 tax documents (1099, W-2s, etc.), social security card, photo ID, or other government forms with your social security number on it. ■

4 LINN-BENTON EDITION

DIGGIN’ IT!

By GRACE PETERSON MASTER GARDENER

True confession: Last summer I was a somewhat lazy gardener. Yes, I know you find this hard to believe considering that my desire to putter through the pathways is about tops on my favorite thing to do list. But it’s true. I neglected some of my gardening chores. It was those fast-growing perennials that got ahead of me. Seemingly overnight, my phlox, asters and daisies went from short little bits of green to 4-foot-tall billowy masses. A little rain and wind and they were leaning, if not collapsing, all because I didn’t take care of them at the beginning of the season when they were short — like smart gardeners do. The most common method for dealing with leaning plants is to provide support via the tie-up method. It’s quite simple. You put a stick in the ground, grab some string and tie the offending leaner to the stick and hope this set up is not too obtrusive. This is what

Work smarter, not harder

NW BOOMER & SENIOR NEWS • MARCH 2018

Photo by Grace Peterson

Without proper attention early in the growing season, this phlox had quite a leaning problem. I was forced to do, and it was quite obtrusive. But there is a smarter method — pruning. Did you know that you can cut back perennials early in their growing cycle to make them grow strong and bushy? It means they won’t need support when the wind and rain come.

The timing for this is critical and why Tracy DiSabato-Aust’s book, “The Well-Tended Perennial Garden: The Essential Guide to Planting and Pruning Techniques,” is so valuable. Last fall I got my hands on the latest edition of this handy reference and was happy to

see that the author included several more perennials since the earlier edition. The book still starts out with basic gardening information, perfect for the beginner, and then delves into the generalities of pruning perennials. It then includes an encyclopedia of perennials detailing the method for pruning each specific perennial. For example, I can turn to “phlox” to learn when best to prune them so they will grow bushy and yet still bloom. And you’re right if you assume I’ll be paying more attention this year. No more floppy phlox. After the encyclopedia portion of the book is a quick reference list of perennials with specific maintenance needs, such as perennials that do not respond well to pinching (or pruning), perennials that will or won’t rebloom if deadheaded, perennials that will re-seed, and several more topics. Finally, the book ends with timely seasonal to-do lists. “The Well-Tended Perennial Garden” is published by Timber Press and you can find

it at all the usual places. If you’ll be buying plants this spring — as all self-respecting gardeners should be — I want to mention an extremely valuable online resource. Plantlust.com is a fantastic site developed by plant guru Megan Hansen in Portland. With its very detailed search engine, you can research different types of plants, read about their attributes, look at eye-candy photos and then buy them. For example, if you want a spring-flowering vine, a dwarf conifer or a tree that has gorgeous fall color, or all three, you can search, read narrative from various contributing nurseries and make a purchase, all while saving money on shipping charges. If you just need inspiration, this website has it. New plants and nurseries are being added all the time so it’s worth bookmarking and visiting often. I will be posting spring photos of my garden on my blog. If you’re interested, visit me at gracepete.blogspot.com, and leave a comment or question. ■

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AMENITIES Corvallis Caring Place is a not-for-profit assisted living residence providing dignity and compassion in a life-enriching environment; conveniently located in the heart of a peaceful college town where residents have easy access to parks, shopping, restaurants, health care, and the senior center, as well as artistic, educational, athletic, and cultural opportunities at OSU and Benton Center. A 275-acre community in a rural setting, Mennonite Village provides living spaces for all levels of retirement - close to Corvallis, Eugene, or Salem. With an awardwinning chef and beautifully landscaped grounds Mennonite Village is an inclusive, all-faith community of amazing people. Services include: independent living, assisted living, nursing & rehab, memory care, foster care, respite care, and in-home care.

Assisted living community located within short distance of local shopping center. We offer 3 delicious meals daily, weekly housekeeping & linen services, social/recreational programs, scheduled transportation in our van and a full range of personal services available should you need them.

Waverly Place is an elegant new stateof-the-art, 71-unit assisted living and 21-unit secured memory care facility which also houses our sister company, Wellness at Home, an in-home care agency. They provide services to residents and offsite. They can be reached at 541-990-0339.

HEALTHY Vibes

MARCH 2018 • nwboomerandseniornews.com

LINN-BENTON EDITION

Listen to your heart: Get enough exercise

By BENJAMIN LEE, DO

CARDIOLOGY FELLOW, SAMARITAN HEALTH SERVICES

Physical inactivity is a major health concern that contributes to some of our nation’s leading causes of death, including heart disease and stroke. It also increases risk for obesity, diabetes, hypertension, and high cholesterol. Fortunately, there is something we can do about this. We know exercise is good for the heart, but one might wonder how much and what kinds of exercise are best. For overall cardiovascular health, the American Heart Association recommends: ■ At least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity aerobic activity at least five days per week for a total of 150 minutes, or ■ At least 25 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity at least three days per week for a total of 75 minutes; or a combination of moderate- and vigorous-intensity aerobic activity, and ■ Moderate to high-inten-

sity muscle-strengthening activity at least two days per week for additional health benefits. If you are trying to lower your blood pressure and cho-

lesterol, the recommendation increases to 40 minutes of moderate to vigorous-intensity aerobic activity three or four times per week. This may seem overwhelm-

Timing is everything, and the arrival time of your monthly payment from Social Security can be key to keeping your financial house in order. As you budget to pay your bills and save for future needs, keep in mind that your monthly retirement or disability benefit will be paid at the same time each month. To see your next payment date, create or log on to your my Social Security account at socialsecurity.gov/myaccount and go to the “Benefits & Payments” section. In general, here’s how we assign payment dates: ■ If you were born on the first through the 10th of the month, you’ll be paid on the second Wednesday of the month; ■ If you were born on the 11th through the 20th of the month, you’ll be paid on the

third Wednesday of the month; and ■ If you were born after the 20th of the month, you’ll be paid on the fourth Wednesday of the month. There are exceptions. For example, children and spouses who receive benefits based on someone else’s work record will be paid on the same day as the primary beneficiary. For others, we may issue your payments on the third of each month. Among other reasons, we do this if: ■ You filed for benefits before May 1, 1997; ■ You also receive a Supplemental Security Income (SSI) payment; ■ Your Medicare premiums are paid for by the state where you live; or ■ You live in a foreign country. Individuals who receive SSI payments due to disability, age, or blindness receive those payments on the first of each month.

If your payment date falls on a federal holiday or weekend, you can expect to receive that month’s payment on the weekday immediately prior. You can see a current schedule for Social Security and SSI benefit payments in an easy-to-read calendar at ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-100312018.pdf. Social Security is with you through life’s journey, helping you to secure today and tomorrow through important financial benefits, information, and planning tools. To learn more, please visit socialsecurity.gov. ■

When does my check come?

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ing, especially if you are not accustomed to exercising. Rule of thumb is to “start low and go slow” and remember that any activity is better than no activity.

Simple things like walking and climbing stairs bring heart health benefits, as do jogging, swimming or biking. I recommend walking for anyone getting started on an exercise routine. For most people, walking is easy, safe and can be one of the most effective forms of exercise to achieve heart health. If you are having trouble getting started, try multi-tasking by taking the dog, kids or grandkids for a walk. You can walk in the mall and window shop or take your cell phone on a walk and catch up on calls. I also find yoga to be extremely helpful. Although recent reports cite a study in the Mayo Clinic Proceedings that indicate excessive exercise — defined as more than 450 minutes per week of high-intensity activity — might be bad for heart health, most of us do not exercise to this degree. The best way to ensure your exercise routine is right for you is to check in with your primary care provider or cardiologist. ■

Come to Timberhill Place Where Help is Always Available Should You Need It

Enjoy your own private apartment surrounded by your favoritie things. Meet new friends and get all the help you need from our qualified staff, 24-hours each day.

Timberhill Place provides three delicious meals each day, weekly housekeeping and linen services, scheduled transportation, all utilities and a full range of personal services. All this in a beautiful building, with a monthly rent you’ll find surprisingly affordable. Call 541-753-1488 for more information and a personal tour. Come discover Assisted Living at Timberhill Place!

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6 LINN-BENTON EDITION Feb. 24 Benton SWCD Native Plant Sale, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m., Benton County Fairgrounds, Corvallis.

Valley Church, 2650 NW Highland Dr., Corvallis.

March calendar

Feb. 28 Senior Art Class Showcase Opening Day Gala, noon to 2 p.m., Albany Senior Center, 489 Water Ave. NW. 541-917-7760.

MARCH

Hilltop Big Band, classic and contemporary jazz and swing, 7:30 p.m., The Old World Deli, Corvallis. Vegetarian Cooking, 12:30 p.m., Albany Senior Center, 489 Water Ave. NW. Free. 541-917-7760.

(through March 11) “West Side Story,” CSD Theaters, 1400 NW Buchanan Ave., Corvallis. $5-$12. Poetics Corvallis, open mic, 7:30 p.m., Interzone, 1563 NW Monroe Ave., Corvallis.

Orange and Black Vocal Scholarship Concert, celebrating Ron Jeffers, 7:30 p.m., First United Methodist Church, 1165 NW Monroe Ave., Corvallis. $10/$15. Liberal-arts.oregonstate.edu/ SACevents.

Oregon Humanities: Beyond Fake News, 2 to 3:30 p.m., Main Meeting Room, Corvallis-Benton County Public Library.

Stroke Support Group, 1 to 3 p.m., Newport 60+ Activity Center, 20 SE 2nd St. 314-413-1859. Corvallis Indoor Winter Market, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Saturdays, Benton County Fairgrounds’ Guerber Hall.

League of Women Voters: Legislative Update, 10 a.m., Corvallis-Benton County Public Library.

Top 30 Plants You Should be Growing, from Agaves to Magnolias, 6:45 p.m., Shepherd of the

Newport 60+ Activity Center trip: Chinook Winds Casino, 10 a.m., 20 SE 2nd St. $10. 541-265-9617.

Fire and Fall Prevention at Home, noon, Albany Senior Center, 489 Water Ave. NW. Free. 541-9177760.

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“Battle of the Sexes,” 12:30 p.m., Albany Senior Center, 489 Water Ave. NW. Free. 541-917-7760. Meet up to play board games, 2 to 5 p.m., Main Meeting Room, Corvallis-Benton County Public Library. 541-766-6793.

Pool Tournament, 11 a.m., Albany Senior Center, 489 Water Ave. NW. Free. 541917-7760.

Rhapsody in the Vineyard, a downtown wine walk, 3 to 7 p.m., Corvallis. $5. 541-754-6624.

Diffusions 2: A Music Technology Concert, 8 p.m., Benton Hall, 1650 SW Pioneer Pl., Corvallis. Free.

Card-making workshop, 1 to 3 p.m., Albany Senior Center, 489 Water Ave. NW. Free. 541-9177760.

Springtime Blues, 12:30 p.m., Albany Senior Center, 489 Water Ave. NW. Free. 541917-7760.

OSU Campus Band, 7:30 p.m., Memorial Union Ballroom, OSU. Free.

Scrapbook Workshop, 1 to 4 p.m., Albany Senior Center, 489 Water Ave. NW. Free. 541-917-7760. Pi Day, noon, Albany Senior Center, 489 Water Ave. NW. Free.

OSU Jazz Ensemble, 7:30 p.m., Memorial Union Ballroom, OSU. Free.

NW BOOMER & SENIOR NEWS • MARCH 2018

OCWCOG and SHIBA Medicare Class, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m., Linn-Benton Community College Benton Center, 757 NW Polk Ave., Corvallis. Free. 541812-0849. St. Patrick’s Day Celebration, noon, Albany Senior Center, 489 Water Ave. NW. $8 before March 1. 541917-7760.

Corvallis Arts Walk, 4 to 8 p.m., downtown Corvallis. Free. CorvallisArtsWalk.com.

Celtic Concert Series: Gothard Sisters, 7 p.m., Whiteside Theater, Corvallis. Corvallisfolklore.org.

16 17

OSU Opera Workshop, 7:30 p.m., 4515 SW West Hills Road, Corvallis. $10/$15. Alsea Falls Spring Fling run, 9:30 a.m., Alsea Falls Recreational Site, Monroe. Oregontrailruns.com.

(through March 18) Oregon Daffodil Show, 1 to 5 p.m. Saturday, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday, Albany Public Library, 2450 14th Ave. SE. 541-466-3429.

Avoiding Scams, Fraud and Identity Theft, 12:30 p.m., Albany Senior Center, 489 Water Ave. NW. 541-917-7760. Emotion Regulation: Avoid Being Overwhelmed by our Emotions, 9 to 10:30 a.m., Albany Senior Center, 489 Water Ave. NW. Free. 541917-7760.

OCWCOG and SHIBA Medicare Class, 6:30 to 8:30 p.m., LBCC Lebanon Annex, 44 Industrial Way, Lebanon. Free. 541-812-0849.

“Only the Brave,” 12:30 p.m., Albany Senior Center, 489 Water Ave. NW. Free. 541-9177760.

Pencils, Pens and Drinks with Friends, 8 p.m., Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave., Corvallis.

Container Gardening, 12:30 p.m., Albany Senior Center, 489 Water Ave. NW. Free. 541917-7760.

Clash of the Cowboys rodeo, 7:30 p.m., Benton County Fairgrounds. $12/$15 at the Fairgrounds Office, Tack Box, Benny’s Pizza, and Philomath Rental.

Send your calendar items to: Calendar, 4120 River Road N., Keizer, OR 97303 or email mte@nwseniornews.com by the 6th of the month for the following month’s publication.

REMEMBER WHEN... MARCH 2018 • nwboomerandseniornews.com

Kids growing up in the 1960s didn’t spend all their free time in front of the TV, except for Saturday morning cartoons and special shows like “Walt Disney’s Wonderful World of Color” on Sunday nights. Most kids spent their time playing games with other kids, at home, on the playground or down the street in an open field. As long as everybody was home by the time the streetlights came on, kids could play pretty much anything they wanted anywhere they wanted.

LINN-BENTON EDITION

Playtime in the ‘60s Although playing outside was considered the best thing for kids, it wasn’t always possible. Bad weather and illness might keep a kid indoors, even on a Saturday. If so, games such as Monopoly, Scrabble, Life, checkers and chess would be brought to the kitchen table from the game closet. Sometimes just the kids would play, but often the whole family joined in. Card games, including gin rummy, hearts, old maid, fish, war and crazy 8s also were often part of the game mix. Marathon games of war with double decks were my favorite. If kids had too much energy to play sedentary activities while indoors, games that required physical movement, such as “I spy” and charades kept everyone

entertained. An active party or group game that came along in the second half of the decade was Twister, which is still popular today. On the playground during recess, kids ran around and occupied themselves with games like dodgeball, kick ball, tetherball, foursquare and baseball. Adults stood by to deal with any problems. Playground equipment like ladder bars, jungle gyms, swings and slides offered lots of creative play for youngsters. Hopscotch, marbles, jump rope and kick-the-can were games played by our parents that kids in the ‘60s played as well. If we had chalk or marbles we could have hours of fun. After school and on weekends, neighborhood kids often organized informal games of baseball or kick ball. Other group games were popular as well, such as red rover, tag, swinging statues, freeze-tag and hide-and-seek. There was almost always a game of fly-

CLASSIFIED

up baseball in a field somewhere close to home that often lasted until it was too dark to see the ball or until parents finally called the kids in for the night. For most kids, a bicycle was both transportation and entertainment. Roller skates were on the porch ready to take kids off to play. What happened to my skate key? What did you do during recess in elementary school? What games and activities occupied your after-school play time and weekends? Like the song said, “Those were the days, my friend; we thought they’d never end…”

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16 Units for Rent 22 Garden & Yard

HUD SUBSIDIZED UNITS for senior citizens 62 or older, disabled and/or handicapped is currently accepting applications for our one bedroom waiting list. We are committed to providing equal EQUAL HOUSING OPPORTUNITY All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Fair Housing Act which makes it illegal to advertise “any preference limitation or discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin, or an intention, to make any such preference, limitation or discrimination.” Familial status includes children under the age of 18 living with parents or legal custodians; pregnant women and people securing custody of children under 18. This newspaper will not knowlingly accept any advertising for real estate which is in violation of the law. Our readers are hereby informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal opportunity basis. To complain of discrimination call HUD Toll-free at 1-800-669-9777. The Toll-free telephone number for the hearing impaired is 1-800-927-9275.

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BASEBALL & SPORTS MEMORABILIA wanted. Buying old cards, pennants, autographs, photographs, tickets, programs, Pacific Coast League, etc. Alan, 503-481-0719. CASH FOR PRE 1980 sport & non-sport gum or cigarette cards, model kits, comic books, old toys, model trains! Private collector. 503-313-7538.

CASH FOR GOOD CONCASH FOR LARGE DITION reloading eqANVILS & forge equipuipment & supplies. ment. 541-514-0084. 541-905-5453. Eugene, OR.

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8 LINN-BENTON EDITION GENEALOGY CORNER By LINDA MEYER

Sometimes, you just don’t know where a path will lead. That’s what I learned when researching information about my father’s first wife, Audrey. I wanted to find out who she was, as well as information about how both families reacted to their marriage and subsequent breakup. The initial documents I’d discovered weren’t making sense to me. Audrey married my father before he went to war. When he returned, she asked for a divorce because she had found a new relationship. I started contacting relatives to see if they could add any more information and stories to the documents I had. Parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles had all passed on. But I had sisters and cousins I could ask. I started with my sisters, since we had been told the story at different times. The facts were all consistent. Then, I turned to my older cousins. One remembered that Audrey and my father married after he went into the U.S. Army. Judging from the military records, the wedding would have taken place after February 1943. I called my mother’s last remaining best friend. While she knew part of the story, she didn’t know the inside details. Time to hit the internet. I found Audrey living with her parents in the Bronx on the 1930 and 1940 U.S. Federal Census. She was an only child. Later, she showed up in City

Finally, finding Audrey

NW BOOMER & SENIOR NEWS • MARCH 2018

Directories in Greenwich Village, as well as Rindge, N.H., where she and her partner had a summer home. Then I found her death notice in the New York Times. Between Ancestry.com and FamilySearch.org, this was the sum total of what I discovered. There were some family trees on Ancestry.com that had Audrey’s name. I chose one and sent an email to the tree’s owner, Don. Don responded within an hour. He also was interested in finding more information about

Audrey, a woman he had never met. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find any living relatives of his who could add to the narrative, other than some stories about what happened after her death. I pressed on. I found two free newspaper websites, Fultonhistory.com and NYSHistoricNewspapers.org. I located her obituary in a small newspaper and read in another the details of the horrible car accident that took her life. I passed this information on to my new friend Don.

But why did my parents marry in New Jersey? I searched Google for the History of Divorce in New York State. It turns out New York had the strictest divorce laws in the country. Adultery was the only reason for divorce. Audrey was a high school art teacher — teachers very often had morality clauses in their contracts and she could have lost her job. She convinced my father to be “witnessed in a compromising position” and take the fall. Since the divorce prevented

my parents from taking out a marriage license in New York, they went across to New Jersey and were married in a civil ceremony in Union City. Then they went and had a church wedding in the Bronx about 12 days later. While the information I found does not answer all questions, I have a better understanding of my father’s early life and the conditions leading to my parents’ marriage. ■

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