PATIENT PROFILE

cannabis & bipolar ii disorder WONDER

MOM

Life is moving fast for Ashley Busse. As the mother to an 11-month-old baby, Eleanor, and newlywed to her husband, David, Ashley is doing her best to balance responsibilities, including keeping up their new Parkville residence.

The 24-year-old recently took a step back from her duties as an office manager and put her aspirations of completing a bachelor’s degree on hold to ensure her daughter gets the best care.

“It’s been interesting,” she said of all the changes. “After giving birth, I definitely struggled a lot with depression.”

Diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder at the age of 18, Ashley functions at her best when maintaining a sense of consistency. Despite her current challenges , Ashley insists she has found a greater peace than at any other time in her life.

“When I was seven, my father committed suicide,” she said. “It was very traumatic. My pediatrician gave me some heavy antianxiety meds, but I didn’t have anywhere to go for an outlet. So I grew up angry and sad because those emotions had been suppressed inside for a long time.”

Her teenage years and young adulthood were spent experimenting with various prescription drugs. One medication would work but often at the expense of a side effect, leading to a game of whack-a-mole.

“If I was groggy in the morning, then I’d take something that would make me way too hyper and anxious,” she said. “If I was in the middle, I might be shaky and have no appetite. Then I might have to take something for sleep. At that point in life, I didn’t really feel or experience any emotions. It was all on a surface level.”

At 22, Ashley was tired of playing the pharmaceutical fiddle and decided to travel down a route of medical Cannabis. As she began her trials, she learned she was pregnant and put a halt to her medicating.

“My doctors couldn’t agree on what I could take while pregnant, so they took me off everything,” she said. “I got through the pregnancy on hormones, but afterwards, the onset of postpartum [depression] was hard, so I went back to medical Cannabis.”

Her struggles are common to patients of Bipolar II disorder, who do not reach full manic states and are more inclined to suffer from depression. “Mood swings,” she said.

“I had trouble finding the patience needed, especially with the lack of sleep I was enduring. Having a steady sleep schedule with bipolar is so crucial.”

Her husband, Ashley says, stepped in whenever possible to help, even after coming home from long days working as a project manager. “David is the best person I’ve ever met,” she said. “He is my biggest supporter and always stands by my side. He was there at every doctor’s visit for Eleanor. He’s our backbone and he keeps me level. Every time I need a break, he’s there to give me the time I need to be a better mom.”

AS ELEANOR GREW, SLEEP SCHEDULES BECAME MORE REGULATED, ALLOWING ASHLEY TO DEVELOP A CONSISTENT ROUTINE TO HER CANNABIS MEDICATION.

Ashley begins each morning with a joint of an indica leaning hybrid. With a clear mind, Ashley journals her goals for the upcoming day before waking up her 21-pound bundle of joy for a baby bottle. She switches over to an appetite stimulant like Georgia Pie during afternoon naptime, and after putting Eleanor to bed for the evening, she caps the night off with a dab of Obeah Cookies. The routine has taken time to perfect, but she swears by it.

“They say it takes a village to raise a child,” Ashley said. “But during corona you can’t have a village. So I just get up, smoke my Cannabis, put myself in a good mindset, and say I’m going to make it happen.”

“With Cannabis,” she added, “I feel everything how I am supposed to. And when I feel down, I no longer allow it to ruin my whole day, week or month.”

Bipolar disorder cycles between periods of highs and lows, but this time of year always falls in the latter for Ashley. July 21 was the birthday of her father - a man she fondly remembers as “the life of the party.” September 13 is the anniversary of his death.

“Everybody loved him,” she said.

Ashley hopes this year will be different, as she focuses her mind towards doing her own parenting.

Baby Eleanor began July with her first steps and has only grown more emboldened. “The Little Monster” - a moniker her mother warmly refers to her as - is captivated by Elmo and loves playing with her Green Bay Packers doll - a gift from David, who is from Milwaukee. Her mother takes great pride in reading her “The Hungry Caterpillar” and “Pat the Bunny.”

“I always knew I wanted to have kids early,” Ashley said. “I knew I wanted a daughter and I got that.”

It’s never easy, but at 24, life is as good as it’s ever been for Ashley.

And for that, she is thankful - for her daughter, for her husband and for medical Cannabis allowing her to be the best version of herself. “I’m not the victim in my story, I’m the hero. I’m not only a survivor, I’m thriving.”

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