off the shelf PRICED RIGHT PRE-ROLLS

THERE’S A PRECONCEIVED NOTION THAT ALL PRE-ROLLS are made with bottom-of-the-bin material, but this month’s Off the Shelf is here to break that stigma. In honor of the proper pre-roll, we’re featuring two-pack versions that are both all-bud and budget-friendly! That’s right – all of the convenience with none of the trim or shake.

Lazy Bee Gardens Bacio Bars

Lazy Bee Gardens is known for its sustainably sungrown, award-winning Cannabis out of Washington’s scenic Methow Valley. This hybrid cross of Wonka Bars x Gelato was bred in-house back in the summer of 2020 by crossing a Wonka Bars male to a Bacio Gelato female. A balanced blend of both its parents, the gas hits hard from the Bacio Gelato, followed by funk on the finish from the Wonka Bars. This strain remains a staff favorite around the Lazy Bee farm to this day and is also quite the crowd pleaser – taking home the 2022 Craft Cup for Best Light Dep Flower and Best Pre-Roll! We also love how their two-pack tubes feature a full terpene breakdown, with this particular strain being dominant in pinene for a relaxing and cerebral high.

22% THC | 0.6 grams/preroll | 1.2 grams/package lazybeegardens.com @lazybeegardens

Lilac City Gardens Warhead

Established in 2014, Lilac City Gardens grows artisan Cannabis just west of Spokane out in Airway Heights. Warhead is a signature strain and one of the only sativas in the Lilac City lineup, bred in-house by crossing Sour Apples with Cherry Cookies. Like a sour candy, she’s sweet and fruity at first then hits with a surprisingly tart punch. Ultra-uplifting effects make this strain great for a wake-and-bake sesh – we recommend pairing a full-flower Warhead pre-roll with your morning brew and a slice of toast slathered in fresh cherry jam. As a bonus, these packs come with a sulphurless strikeanywhere match (meaning no lighter is required for ultimate on-the-go convenience) and feature a glow-in-the-dark tube!

16.3% THC | 0.5 grams/preroll | 1 gram/package @lilaccitygardens

THE HAPPY CANNABIS CO. GELATO CAKE

These two-pack, all-bud pre-rolls contain suninfused flower grown by Sound Cannabis on their farm on the Washington Coast, and we’ve gotta give a special shoutout to Flora – one of the “farm family members who is the hands and heart behind every single pre-roll” at Happy Cannabis Co. She grinds all the flower (with specific grind settings based on the bud structure of each strain) and knocks every single joint, which explains why her name is on the labels! This Gelato Cake crosses Gelato 33 x Wedding Cake with a bold gassy inhale and a sweet, sugary exhale. Indica dominant and one of the most sedative strains in the Happy Cannabis Co. lineup, the effects are potent and long-lasting. If you’re looking for a solid night’s sleep or want to take a journey to outer space after your joint, this gelato takes the cake.

22.86% THC | 0.5 grams/preroll | 1 gram/package @thehappycannabis

FIRE BROS. CREPE APE

The Fire Bros. two-packs boast the slogan “All Killer, No Filler” – referring to the full flower nature of their pre-rolls and the lack of pesticides in their grow. Crepe Ape, an indica strain made by crossing a male Project 4516 plant with London Pound Cake 75 x Kush Mints, is dedicated to one of the original Fire Bros. crew and an old buddy of the team to this day @heavysugar. After getting into non-fungible tokens (NFTs), he thought it would be fun to do an homage to his Bored Ape Yacht Club NFT on a label. The Crepe Ape special edition collab was born and has since become the brand’s best-selling strain! It’s all lemon at first, with a nutty and doughy flavor reminiscent of vanilla cookies on the exhale.

19.98% THC | 0.5 grams/preroll | 1 gram/package firebros206.com @firebros without a heavy price without a heavy price

HTE Vape Pens & Concentrates

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Marijuana products may be purchased or possessed only by persons 21 or older. This product has intoxicating effects and may be habit forming. Marijuana can impair concentration, coordination, and judgement. Do not operate a vehicle or machinery under the influence of this drug. There may be health risks associated with consumption of this product. For use only by adults 21 and older. Keep out of reach of children.

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE PHRASE “FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD?” It means that you’re searching your vocabulary to find the most applicable language that best represents what you’re trying to convey. Sometimes you don’t have the exact word, but by using this phrase, you make it known that your intention is to communicate your thought effectively. And it’s totally cool. Because it is understood by the person with whom you’re interacting that although you don’t currently have the best articulation, you are also not trying too hard to impress.

And that is what’s wrong with how the word “perfect” is wielded today. People overuse it believing they are demonstrating wisdom by applying it where a less fabulous word would normally go – thinking that it boosts their ability to elocute “perfect” words. Which makes sense. Because the current “me” society that displays their filtered flawlessness on the internet as a quantified representation of who they are, is hiding from the word “imperfect.”

That’s one you won’t hear them use.

It’s absurd. A trigger. How dare you!

The overplay of the word “perfect” is an encapsulation of this artificially intelligent future we are doing “The Robot” into. Perception is largely reality, and the word accentuates the image people pretend to possess. There’s this idea that if you say something “perfect,” then “perfection” will materialize – which realistically doesn’t happen. Just because you use the word to describe something as “perfect,” doesn’t make it “perfect.”

So, when the woman who answers the phone in customer service gleefully uses the word more than twice for the figurative cherry on the sundae, she is in essence informing herself that not only did she resolve the issue, but it couldn’t have been handled any more “perfectly.”

But no, I’m sorry … the last four digits of my Social Security number are not perfect. They are just OK. You know what’s perfect? Cannabis. And Agnes, my pet gerbil.