Heavy Rain / Jeneba Diane King

Heavy Rain

Jeneba Diane King

Today was a good day to remember an umbrella. Even though the day started pretty nice, the weather had taken a sharp downturn in the last hour, just as the news this morning had predicted. The sky was so thick with clouds it looked like midnight, and the eerily quiet streets didn’t help much. I guess no one wanted to be out in this rain. Couldn’t blame them really, I didn’t want to be out either. I just wanted to get home as quickly as possible. I sighed, adjusting my umbrella to better cover my backpack. I might be able to recover from a good soaking, but my laptop wouldn’t, and there was no way I’d be able to afford a new one if it broke. As I continued down the sidewalk, I found the streets weren’t quite as empty as I thought. Next to a streetlamp, under the awning of a closed store, there stood a melancholy-looking man. He wore a scarf and sweater, with a messenger bag hanging off his right shoulder. He was leaning against the store window, but he didn’t seem to be much taller than me. As I got closer, I noticed he didn’t have an umbrella. Rotten luck, I thought. That must’ve been why he was standing there. Caught in such a downpour, looking so… I don’t know, sad? Lost? It got to me. “Stuck?” I asked, closing the distance between us. He seemed startled, like he was shaken out of a

trance.

He looked over at me, smiling a little crookedly. “Yeah, I knew it was gonna rain, but I didn’t think it’d be like this. Thought I could make it without an umbrella but, uh… here we are,” he gestured lazily to the rain pounding on the dark streets. Standing right next to him, I could see it’d already soaked through his sweater. He was lucky he seemed to have the kind of hair that dried off quickly. I nodded lightly, pausing for a second. He didn’t have a jacket… I held out my umbrella to him. He looked at me quizzically. “Take it,” I said, holding it closer. “I- huh? But…?” He stammered. “I don’t have much farther to go anyway, and I’ve got a hoodie. I’m way better off than you right now.” He hesitated a little longer, but eventually reached out and took it from me. “We haven’t met before, have we?” I shook my head. “Then… why?” 18

I pointed to his soaked-through sweater. “You’ve got no coat.” The padding of raindrops on the plastic awning covered the silence that hung suspended between us before He laughed. It was a warm, comforting laugh that bubbled up and out like cider, driving out the cold and damp of the afternoon, and any melancholy that seemed to hang on him slipped away like a burbling stream. He smiled at me again, “How very chivalrous of you.” I wanted to say something, anything, to keep this… thing going. I wanted so badly to keep this moment of warmth and joy in my mundane life, but…. The words just wouldn’t come. I smirked. I nodded. I put up my hood, and walked to the bus stop. I didn’t even glance back.

As the bus pulled away, I tossed myself and my bag down in an empty seat. I glanced inside to check on my laptop. Dry. Settling down, I turned to stare out the window. The raindrops raced across the glass, shimmering with the passing streetlights. Sometimes I imagined they were like people with places to be. I would wonder what they were in such a rush for. Must be something important… Rolling to a stop at an intersection, I caught a glimpse of my reflection. The droplets of rain that fell from my face and hug on my hair and eyelashes shimmered just like those slipping down the window. A sudden wave of frustration flooded me. What was I thinking?! Why would I just give up my umbrella like that? I don’t even know who he is! And why didn’t I get to know him? He seemed nice enough. I could’ve talked to him at least! I could’ve stayed, even for just a second! I should’ve stayed! Should’ve talked with him! I mean, come on, why am I like this? Upset at my lack of friends but throwing away opportunities left and right! New neighbor in my apartment complex? Avoid them like the plague. Nice classmates who seem pretty chill? Never talk to them. Cute guy who seems really sweet and I totally could have hit it off with? Run away and never look back! God, I’m such aThe bus lurched forward, jolting me back to reality. I let out a heavy sigh. I shouldn’t be overthinking this sort of stuff. My breath hung on the window. I absently started doodling in the fog, resetting each image and starting a new one. A smiley face. A frown. A frog. A heart. An umbrella… I added raindrops. A figure. And another. My mind drifted back to him. What should I have said? Something funny, I guess. Then he’d laugh again, that sweet, bubbling laugh. And we’d talk for a bit. We’d happen to be going the same way, so we’d walk together to the bus stop, sharing the umbrella and talking all the way. Then we’d get there and we’d exchange 19

numbers. And he’d walk away with my umbrella, but I wouldn’t be worried, because I’d see him again, and he’d give it back to me then.

But I wouldn’t, would I?

I’ll never get my umbrella back. I’ll never see him again. Why didn’t I talk to him? Am I scared of people? What happened to me? Why would I be scared? I mean, I might’ve liked him. We might’ve been friends. I do this so often, I didn’t even give him a chance. Why am I like this? What happened? Where did I go wrong? What’s wrong with me? What is wrong with me?! What is-

The bus stops. I’m, again, pulled abruptly out of my downward spiral. Good. I check the little screen that scrolls along with each stop. This is me. I stand, grab my bag, and get off the bus. I watch it drive off, window doodles and tumbling thoughts disappearing with it into the fog of rain. It looks like it’s lightened up a bit. I turn away and start the short walk home, rain catching on my eyelashes still and dampening my hoody. I think about my bland apartment. The simple furniture, the quiet solitude of it all. Nothing to look forward to but a frozen dinner and endless Netflix scrolling. And homework. Far too much homework. I sigh. I really need to get some friends. And probably a therapist. Or maybe a cat? As I approach my building, I look up from my feet and see the street isn’t as empty as I thought. Walking towards the same building as me from the opposite direction, I see a figure. Unlike me, they have an umbrella. A… a rather familiar-looking one, actually. Impossible, I think. I mean, what are the odds of that anyway? We stop at the entrance, and he’s directly in front of me, holding my umbrella. It’s definitely mine, which means it’s definitely him. We look at each other in shocked silence. “Well,” he smiles, “I guess we could’ve walked together, huh?” He laughs that bubbling laugh and the chill of the rain melts off me, the incessant pounding lifting from my shoulders, and I realize he’s holding the umbrella over us both.

He opens the door, making way for me to walk in. “How very chivalrous of you.” I smile despite myself as I step in. “I’ve got to pay you back somehow,” he beams. Following me, he closes the umbrella and hands it back, and I have never been so glad to have remembered it.20