The Importance of Summer Camp Friendships

Now more than ever, kids need the close bonds formed at camp

By Madeleine Burry

When summer camp is over and campers return home, many kids experience “camp sickness,” a phenomenon that’s the reverse of homesickness. And while camp facilities may be lovely and the atmosphere free from anxiety, it’s not the camp itself that kids miss most. It’s the friendships they formed that spark these feelings.

Camp, as it turns out, is uniquely suited to provide all the very best ingredients for forming friendships: an escape from routine, shared activities, and exposure to new things—all happening under the watchful eye of well-trained role models. In fact, the friends kids make in camp—whether it’s day camp or a sleepaway—often last years, even decades. In an American Camp Association survey of more than 5,000 families around the U.S., 69 percent of families said their camper was still in contact with the kids they met at camp. That’s why during this period of social isolation brought on by the pandemic, it’s more important than ever for kids to experience the kinds of friendships made at summer camp.

Here are a few reasons why those camp friendships form—and last—so powerfully.

Goodbye Tech; Hello Connections

At many camps, no electronics are permitted. Plus, the stress of real life—between exams, daily homework assignments, phones vibrating with alerts, and after-school activities—is also absent. “At camp, kids and staff really get to connect with each other in a way society doesn’t provide anymore,” says Dan Weir, senior director of program development at the YMCA of Long Island.

With the pressures of the outside world removed, what remains is a common routine and activities. It’s an environment that encourages kids to let down their guard and open themselves up. The hope, Weir says, is that kids who are unplugged will spend time with others, making deeper connections.

A Chance to Define and Reinvent Yourself

At home, a child may be popular, the class clown, sporty, a slow reader, or forever tagged by an embarrassing event that took place in fourth grade. Labels are removed at camp; it’s an opportunity for a fresh start with a new community. “That’s the beauty of camp: You get to define who you are and who you want to be,” Weir says.

Andy Lustig, a fashion designer who attended an all-girls camp in Maine, says she seized the moment to jettison the personality traits she didn’t like about herself. “Andy, you’re going to go there and you’re not going to be shy—you’re going to be outgoing,” she resolved. For her, camp was a place where she could recreate herself.

Camp also provides a reminder for kids that their lives will be bigger than the communities (school, activities, etc.) they inhabit during the rest of the year. For one of Lustig’s friends, a late bloomer who struggled at school and wasn’t well-liked, camp was a parallel universe that kept her sane throughout the tough time in middle and high schools. During summers, fellow campers were eager to be her friend and saw her positive qualities, and this selfesteem booster kept her going year-round, Lustig says.

Concentrated Time Together

“When you’re at camp, we really slow down time,” Weir says. This puts the focus on kids having safe and fun experiences, and above all, forming connections. The shared experience is a big factor. Weir points out that experts believe shared experiences are foundational to friendships. “By doing something together— even if the other person is a complete stranger from a different background, different socioeconomic status, different race, different religion, anything that you can divide people up by—we find that by having that common bond over something, and an experience, really forms a lifelong friendship.”

The time spent at camp becomes a touchstone moment, something that feels meaningful even years after attending. Many of Lustig’s friends returned to camp as counselors in their early 20s, because it felt like a secure place to pause and reassess career and life choices. Similarly, Erica Edelman, who went to Camp Ramah in the Berkshires for eight summers, says, “I continue to find an unbelievable ability to connect with other ‘camp people.’ We speak the same language, have a shared past—even if we didn’t actually live it together.”

So, is camp right for your child? The answer will always depend on your kid. While camp offers so much in terms of relationship building and freedom from the everyday distractions, not every child will enjoy the experience, or flourish away from family.

Whatever magical mix of elements makes camp friendships develop—from engaging in shared experiences to spending gadget-free time away from home—the power of summercamp connections cannot be denied. Campers have unstoppable enthusiasm and nostalgia for their camp experiences, and with good reason: The bonds created in the short weeks away from home endure well beyond the summer.

Sending your child to camp might be a difficult decision this year. There are potential health risks and changes in protocols. On the other hand, it’s been a difficult year for kids, and camp could be exactly what they need in order to thrive, especially when it comes to connecting with others and making great friends.

Madeleine Burry is a freelance writer and editor who has held staff positions at Parents.com, Scholastic, and About.com. Burry lives in Park Slope, Brooklyn, with her husband and their cat. You can follow her on Twitter @lovelanewest.