WELLBEING SAYING NO
It’s too easy to be a people-pleaser by always saying Yes. There are times when we need to say No, Harriet Bremner writes.
L Harriet Bremner and Poppy.
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et’s be frank. No. Such a simple, seemingly easy everyday word that can be so incredibly hard to say. Why? As an all-around people pleaser, I have always struggled with saying no, simply because I don’t want to let people down. I have been working on learning how to say no for a while now as it took me ages to realise that saying yes can sometimes mean you are not doing the best thing for yourself. Last month, I could not write my column for Dairy Exporter for health reasons and have just come out of another surgery, so I am sitting here writing while recovering. This time is different though. I am feeling able to contribute whereas last month I was really battling and had to be brave and say no to writing my column. I found that really hard, but when I finally plucked up the courage to let Anne Lee know what was going on, I received the most amazing support and understanding. This is when we decided it would be a good topic for this month. I was so relieved that I had taken some worry off my shoulders and wished I had not stressed so much about saying I wasn’t well enough to write. Through saying no and having an honest and open conversation, I realised, once again, that you are allowed to put yourself first and it is ok!
No decent human being will actually stop and judge you and if they know you well enough they will understand there is something going on that makes for a genuine reason to say no in the first place. This can be the most stressful time of year for so many reasons from financially, pressure to be everywhere and at every social occasion any day of the week, juggling work and family, where you should be going for Christmas and who will look after the animals. Chances are one of these things is sitting heavily on your shoulders as you read this. It’s okay to say no. Saying no to an invitation doesn’t make you rude or antisocial or not fun, it makes you human. With daylight saving comes that habit of working longer hours to make the most of the drawn-out days. With that comes less sleep and sometimes you just need to have some ‘you’ time at home. I’ve done plenty of this lately and while some people don’t understand, you don’t have to explain yourself to them. It’s something I haven’t been good at doing. I’ve felt as though I owed the world this massive list of reasons why, if I said no. When you’re an introvert, like me, you really don’t want to let anyone down so you feel obliged to explain. However, you just simply don’t have to!
Dairy Exporter | www.nzfarmlife.co.nz | December 2021
