S OC I A L CON F L I C T
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SOCIAL CONFLICT
Connection and Collaboration An antidote to social conflict BY PAUL SILLS
A focus on connection and collaboration is not a focus on conflict avoidance as many probably assume – quite the opposite. It is to embrace the inevitability and desirability of many facets of conflict while addressing our approach to conflict. As Catholic Priest, Richard Rohr has said: “We grow through necessary conflicts and tensions. I don’t think there is any other way. Dancing along a self-created primrose path will merely lead you to illusion and superficiality.” A study of the underlying principles of both non-violent action and negotiation shows that we need to engage constructively with conflict. There is a transformative aspect to conflict which highlights the potential for meaningful change for all parties when conflict is handled collaboratively. As leading expert on negotiation and mediation William Ury states: “We need more conflict, not less, to really uncover and address a lot of issues that are still not being addressed properly in this world … it’s about transforming conflict from its often destructive forms of violence and war to more constructive forms such as non-violent action and negotiation.” It is how we respond to conflict that causes problems. Conflict can encourage open-mindedness and help avoid the tendency towards collectivist group thinking that many organisations and tribes in societies fall prey to. The key is not avoiding conflict, but learning how to manage conflict effectively so that it can serve as a positive catalyst, rather than a hindrance to society at large. We can achieve this through collaboration rather than competition/aggression/violence/war. “Collaboration is a habit of mind, solidified by routine, predicated on openness, generosity, rigour and patience. It requires precise and fearless communication, without status, or intimidation.” — Professor Margaret Heffernan Professor Brené Brown in her book “The Gifts of Imperfection” defines connection as: “The energy that exists between people when they feel 42
seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.”
The connection economy In spite of our current self-centred ego centric lives, connection is what we do better than anything else and what we crave far more than we know. In his book “The Icarus Effect,” marketing guru Seth Godin asserts that we have moved from the industrial economy to the connection economy. A lasting consequence of the industrial revolution and living in an industrial economy is that innovation and creativity have given way to precedent and process. The focus of business was on standardising production, achieving economies of scale, using interchangeable parts (and people) and serving the middle of the bell curve (aiming for the average). We were programmed and trained to think that what we did well was to follow instructions. The industrialist needed cheap, obedient labour, people who would sit still and do what they were told. Our education system dutifully provides such people. Godin does not believe that we are very good at following instructions. He thinks that is a fallacy. Instead, we are very good at connecting. As a species we are one of the best on the planet. But do we actually connect well? We certainly have huge resources for connection – just look at the growth of social media. Does that make us connected? Yes, superficially but not in a meaningful way that helps us grow, or benefits society and helps us deal with conflict. Godin identifies four pillars in a connected economy: 1. Coordination; 2. Trust – earning trust is critical in the connection
