6 tips to avoid the chaos

Daniel Fitzpatrick helps you avoid the chaos with these 6 proven ideas for balancing work and home.

AUTHOR: DANIEL FITZPATRICK, NEXT LEVEL TRADIE

Anyone who has kids and a small business deserves a medal. It’s not easy. Covid-19 has added even more pressure. Most tradies are busier than ever. Basically it’s a season where likely the smartest move is to dig in and take the work while it’s available to build up your cash reserve—so you’re ready for whatever comes next.

But how do you juggle all this and make sure the kids don’t miss out, especially if both of you are working in the business?

1Pick and choose Just like in business, when you want to improve your results, taking stock is the first step. Get clarity around what you’re okay (and not okay) with missing out on. Figure out what’s important. Let yourself off the hook for other stuff.

What’s non-negotiable for you? What would gut you to miss? Being there for Christmas Eve, school performances, their Saturday games, weekly movie nights, or maybe it’s just being home in time for dinner every night?

Protect that time. Have your ‘no’ speech ready. Remember ‘yes’ and ‘no’ operate in balance. Just like dropping your price might have dire consequences later (especially in this environment), saying ‘yes’ to a certain client, might mean saying ‘no’ to your family for the next few weekends.

Let go of other people’s expectations. Most people have no idea the amount of work and sacrifice it takes to run your own business. Weigh your own actions.

2Set the tone What we expect is what we will see. Don’t buy into ‘terrible twos’ or ‘disrespectful teens’. Focus instead on the best things each season of parenting brings.

Likewise, focus on what’s good about being in business: it makes you more money than a regular job would. Gives your kids better opportunities, a head-start in life. You’ve created flexibility to help out with the kids more, spend more time with them. You’re providing for your family. That’s badass. Own it.

Look: How you talk about your business = how your kids will feel about it. If you talk about hating work, they will pick up on that. And probably feel a bit septic about the time you spend working.

Talk it through with your kids, help them see the reasons you work so hard. Soon they will be grown and have their own career (or business). Kids learn by watching (and mimicking) us. Are we modelling healthy behaviour in how we do business, handle curveballs, and in how we treat our clients and team?

3Accept that it’s messy You can’t do it all. Don’t try. Get help with the children, the house, the business. As much as you can.

We’re not supposed to parent alone. Encourage healthy influences in your kids’ lives that are not you. Find childcare options your kids love—and don’t feel guilty. Hire an online tutor, cleaner, lawn-mowing service, meal delivery, anything that makes it easier!

Work-wise, outsource and delegate as many of the <$25/hour tasks as you can. To be a successful leader, spend your time on the high-level tasks. Save time by systemising and streamlining every area. Now is a great time to lean on technology.

4Optimise the in-between Research shows the in-between moments of regular family life (like chores or taking the car for a warrant) can do as much for family bonding as any planned ‘family fun’.

Easy ways to make the most of things you’re doing anyway:

Implement a ‘no screens at the dinner table’ rule. Turn your phone on silent.

Clients can wait an hour.

In the car? Practise times tables, ask your kids what problems they want to solve in the world, listen to an audiobook together.

Cooking, doing dishes, folding laundry?

Have the kids help; blast the family soundtrack or ask them about Minecraft.

Take a kid along for some 1-on-1 every time you run an errand.

Bring the kids into the business. Give them simple jobs in the office, or begin teaching them your trade.

Consider that some of your own best memories may be the simplest things your parents did: Tucking you in at night. Making up stories. Chasing you around the house. Putting notes in your lunch. Brushing your hair. Working on projects with you. Taking you fishing. Caring for you when you were sick. Little traditions like pancakes every Sunday.

I teach my clients the 80/20 rule to create more profit. Likewise, identify and focus on the 20%—the simple daily activities that matter most to your kids.

5Play at 100% One study found children were better off when parents work was challenging and enjoyable, even if it limits time at home. However, this only held if, when dad was home and off-duty, he was available, not on his phone constantly or obsessively thinking about work.

Gary Vee is known as a workaholic. Yet he says: “I play in extremes. My daughter had a recital, I was the first parent in line for it. On weekends, I am all in. 100%. I’m not playing 4 hours of golf. I’m not doing things other people are doing. I’m all in on the kids.”

CEO Sharran Srivatsaa has a good tip: “On my way home, I pull over, finish any calls, load my meditation app, change my state to ‘father and husband’. When I get home, I walk through the door present and joyful. This simple 6-minute state-change transformed my life.”

6Love your work, or quit Can’t really build a business without your partner having some role. But are you both on the same page, both playing to your strengths? Stop and assess: “Is this working?”

A common scenario is when the female does accounts and runs the show behindthe-scenes, while he is on the tools or with clients. If this isn’t her natural skillset, or she’s constantly overwhelmed, it may be time to look at another option. Not all couples can, or should, work together (especially if there’s an eroding baseline of respect).

Also wise to consider how much time she really has available, especially if your kids are young. Factor in relentless interruptions, school pickups, drop-offs, sick days, and school holidays—and the required consistency in the role may be hard, or impossible, to achieve.

Research also showed kids are mentally healthier when mum feels she has control over what happens in her workday and also has time away for self-care (this increased her capacity, compared to using that same time on housework).

A final word 93% of the time we spend with our kids is spent before they finish high school. Once they move out, we won’t see them nearly as much, and have less influence.

Time is short. Life has to be on your terms. Your business requires attention but, to avoid regrets, it’s key to set your boundaries and schedule in advance. So work doesn’t encroach on family time.

About the author: Want to know the 5 things you must do now to protect your business + stay ahead? Daniel Fitzpatrick has a new checklist available for download—get it free here: nextleveltradie.co.nz/stayahead