Personal Reflections: Thoughts on racism in the midst of a pandemic by Naomi De Gasperis

Personal Reflections: Thoughts on racism in the midst of a pandemic

by Naomi De Gasperis, RP

Lately the news has been relentless in delivering heartache. It seems that somehow in the midst of feeling raw and vulnerable in unprecedented ways, things are getting worse. But I believe in the power of timing. Perhaps COVID-19 served a greater purpose and has some hidden silver linings afterall.

In many ways the pandemic helped prime our sense of social responsibility. It stripped us of a false sense of security and challenged us to grow beyond our comfort zone. Would we have felt so devastated by the murder of George Floyd if we hadn't already paused to listen to the struggles of communities beyond our own, to support one another? Holding space for the unbearable suffering of others can be hard to do. Yet in the enforced stillness of the pandemic, it was harder to ignore. I wonder if those of us who belong to the “dominant” white culture would challenge racism so fervently if we had the usual distractions of work, bars, outlet malls, gyms, dating, and a great many other things we customarily pour ourselves into?

Perhaps we needed to reach this painful threshold. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time a life is shamelessly lost because of racism. The emotional fatigue is palpable and has led to collective grief, but also awakening. Maybe it took a pandemic to quiet us down and now that racism is shouting toward our tender fearful hearts, are we going to listen?

As a woman, at times I have experienced being treated unfairly, however I've never considered myself privileged. Until now. I didn't grow up having to normalize being regarded suspiciously, unkindly and inhumanely. I don't know what it's like to live in fear because of the colour of my skin. Being born white afforded me the privilege of not knowing many hardships.

I've tried to imagine the challenges that accompany growing up marginalized; it's not easy to weather the exhausting undercurrent of resentment that comes with feeling unsupported, misunderstood and unaccepted. George Floyd's death is a poignant reminder that many people have their basic needs under threat. Being treated humanely with decency and regard for one's life should not be a privilege.

My job requires me to regularly seek out sensitivity training and each time, I'm surprised to find the sneaky biased filters that cloud my perceptions. Is it humbling? Yes. Is it necessary? Absolutely. As much as I strive for my work to be supportive to all people and inclusive of all genders and races, I understand that the minute I relax and assume I'm free of biases, I put myself and my clients at risk.