THE CENTER FOR PARENT/YOUTH UNDERSTANDING
APRIL 2012
CPYU PARENT PAGE visit us on the web at www.cpyu.org ”’All things are lawful for me,’ but not all things are helpful. ‘ All things are lawful for me,’ but I will not be enslaved by anything.“ - I Corinthians 6:12
ELECTRONIC ADDICTION TOP 10 MOVIES AT THE WEEKEND BOX OFFICE WEEKEND OF 3/23—3/25/2012 SOURCE: YAHOO! MOVIES
1.
“The Hunger Games”
2.
“21 Jump Street”
3.
“Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax”
4.
“John Carter”
5.
“Act of Valor”
6.
“A Thousand Words”
7.
“Project X”
8.
“October Baby”
9.
“Safe House”
10. “Journey 2: The Mysterious Island 3D”
YOUTH CULTURE HOT QUOTE “I think it’s just simply to be adored. The first thing you think of is people blindly loving you, and all the perks that come along with that.” - Former MTV star and author of the new book The Fame Game, Lauren Conrad, answering the question ‘What is it about fame that attracts so many people?’ USAToday.com, March 2012
We live in a culture where addictions are widespread. Not a day goes by without us hearing about and being reminded of lives ravaged and destroyed by addictions to alcohol, drugs, tobacco, sex, and pornography. In recent years, the growing catalog of addictions includes things like self-mutilation, tattoos, bodypiercing, food, shopping, and fame. Now, the advent and rapid expansion of technology is forcing us to look more seriously at addiction to video gaming, the Internet, text-messaging, social networking, and other developing media platforms. Because both we and our kids are immersed in life on the emerging Digital Frontier, we must work to understand, prevent, and respond to the dangers associated with electronic addiction. Addiction is best understood as the dependency and habitual use of something that we eventually believe we can’t live without. An addiction is characterized by an uncontrollable and compulsive use of that thing which eventually (and sometimes very quickly!) has negative health and/or social consequences. My friends Rich Van Pelt and Jim Hancock describe addiction as “a compulsive craving, seeking, and using . . . no matter what” (The Youth Worker’s Guide to Helping Teenagers in Crisis, 203). Based on these criteria, many of us know and/or are related to persons (perhaps even ourselves!) who are addicted to technology. Researchers and counselors are currently debating whether or not there is such a thing as “Internet Addiction.” Many are campaigning to have “Internet Ad-
BY WALT MUELLER
diction” included as a diagnosable disorder in the upcoming Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders-V, which will be released in 2013. As parents called by God to nurture our children through childhood and into a spiritually healthy adulthood, we have the responsibility to be keenly aware of and sensitive to electronic addiction in all of its forms. We must understand its threat, presence, and impact. Consequently, we must be diligent in preparing both ourselves and our children to understand, process, and live with electronic media in ways that bring honor and glory to God. While there are many signs that point to electronic addiction, you can be sure there’s a problem if you or your child can’t stop using technology. The addict feels uneasy, incomplete, or agitated when digital activity is discontinued or reduced. Addiction occurs when the activity becomes the most important activity in life, dominating one’s thinking, feelings and behavior. If you think your child is struggling with electronic addiction, here are four initial steps to take to deal with the problem. First, confront the problem. Don’t ignore it. Second, set limits on technology time and remove the temptations. Third, monitor their electronic use. And finally, get help by enlisting the services of a qualified Christian counselor who has been trained to deal with the underlying spiritual, relational, and emotional issues that have caused and/or resulted from electronic addiction.
CPYU TREND ALERT: FACEBOOK SLURS Have you spent any time looking at your teenager’s Facebook page lately? It’s a good idea that you monitor what they’re posting along with what their friends are posting on your child’s page. Monitoring their Facebook page will give you deep insights into what is happening in your teen’s life. In addition, seeing what’s posted allows you to respond by having them remove those posts, comments, and photographs that might be inappropriate. A recent Associated Press poll found that most teens and young adults between the
ages of fourteen and twenty-four think it’s alright to use slurs among friends or when joking around in cyberspace. Seventy-one percent say that people are more likely to use slurs online, and fifty-one percent encounter discriminatory pictures and words on social networking sites. But only half said they would ask someone to stop using slurs and inappropriate language online. This leads us to wonder – if our kids aren’t bothered by racist or sexually charged slurs, what is happening in their hearts?
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LATEST RESEARCH: SEXUAL INTEGRITY AND FAITH There’s some good news regarding teenagers and sexuality. Rates of teen sexual activity are declining, according to a report from the National Center for Health Statistics. Research says that about fifty-seven percent of girls and fiftyeight percent of boys between the ages of fifteen and nineteen say they haven’t had sexual intercourse. The two-decade trend that shows a drop in teen sexual activity continues! The study found that young people who have little interest in casual hookups and those who are abstinent
cite their faith as playing a huge role in maintaining their sexual integrity. This is particularly true when teenagers are younger, indicating that the pressure may increase when they get older, and that they give in to that pressure more easily. The reality is that there’s still lots of work to be done in terms of equipping our kids to live out and experience their sexuality to the glory of God – the very God who gifted them with their sexuality. Parents and youth workers, keep talking to the kids you know and love about sex.
FROM THE WORD
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Perhaps you’ve heard it said that “too much of anything can make you sick.” In recent years, that little cliché has been tweaked to sometimes read “too much of anything can make you an addict.” Experience shows that to be true. It was partially because of this reality that the Apostle Paul challenged the Corinthian followers of Jesus to slow down and back off from some of their misunderstandings regarding Christian liberty. . . a liberty that they exercised in excess in an effort to satisfy their own desires (I Corinthians 6:12). Paul’s words should be taken to heart today in a world where addictions are everywhere. There is a very real danger that exists when we take a good thing and make it an ultimate thing. Balance is lost when we go from engaging in something with healthy modera-
tion, to indulging ourselves to the point where our lives are hijacked and we are mastered by that thing. When it comes to living our lives on the Digital Frontier, the Apostle Paul’s clarifications and correctives should always be in the front of our minds. Blogger Tim Challies took these words to heart when he realized that his love for technology was getting out of hand. He finally asked himself this very difficult question: “Do I own my technology, or does my technology own me?” How would you answer that question about yourself? How would you answer that question about your children? Prayerfully meditate on I Corinthians 6:12. Then, do what you must to be sure that you’re living your life being mastered by The Master.
IN THE NEWS: DATING VIOLENCE We live in a violent world. One area where we increasingly see violence acted out is in dating and romantic relationships. That’s a sad reality when we consider that those kinds of relationships should be marked by self-giving love. A new study of adolescents ages thirteen to twenty -one who came into an inner city emergency room found that about fifty-five percent said they had been victims of physical or sexual violence, and fifty-nine percent admitted to perpetrating some kind of violence against their partners.
The types of violence included everything from hitting and kicking to forced sex. With narcissism taking root and growing in our culture, it’s no wonder that fewer and fewer young people care for the well-being of anyone else but themselves. We can and must reverse this horrible trend by talking about it with our kids. Teach them the difference between right and wrong. Then, walk them through the Scriptures, showing them how God calls us to live in peace with one another.
© 2012 All rights reserved. The CPYU Parent Page is published monthly by the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding, a nonprofit organization committed to building strong families by serving to bridge the cultural-generational gap between parents and teenagers. PO Box 414, Elizabethtown, PA 17022 ● www.cpyu.org