First published 2012 by The O’Brien Press Limited 12 Terenure Road East, Rathgar, Dublin 6, Ireland Tel: +353 1 492 3333; Fax: +353 1 429 2777 Email: books@obrien.ie Website: www.obrien.ie ISBN: 978-1-84717-256-3 Copyright for text, illustrations and layout © Alan Nolan 2012 Copyright for editing © The O’Brien Press Ltd All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or utilised in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or in any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing form from the publisher. British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data A catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 12 13 14 15 16 17 Printed and bound by CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon, CR0 4YY The paper used in this book is produced using pulp from managed forests
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Ricky Nixon
Eddie Ribbs
Abigail Fletcher
Detective Third Class, HCPD
Detective Third Class, HCPD
Investigative Journalist
Tonedeaf Roosevelt
Captain Armitage Shanks
James Lahood
Busking Bluesman
Captain, HCPD
Police Commissioner, HCPD
Nature’s Fury
Screaming Diva
Red White & Blue
Stars’n’stripes
The Satin Spectre
Superhero AKA Martin Calhoun
Superhero AKA Bessie Chadwick
Superhero Alter ego unknown
robo-Sidekick AKA sns-1776
Superhero AKA Zinna conroy
Super Trooper
Kid rocket
The Poxx
Kiss of Death
the mad monk
Superhero AKA Stuart Goddard
Superhero sidekick AKA samuel david williams
Supervillain Alter ego unknown
Supervillain AKA Olga Maria Kitchener
Supervillain AKA Stefan Malkovich
Madame Arachnia
Danger Dave
Cyber-mutt
Kid Cousteau
The diver
Dr. Engelhardt Favreau
Supervillain AKA Frederica Gillespie
Superhero AKA Dave Davis III
Superhero
Superhero AKA jack Haddock
Superhero alter ego unknown
Inventor and Scientific Genius
Flexi-Lady
Pigboy
Eggman
The silver Fin
Robo jojo
walrus
Todd Grable
Supervillain alter ego unknown
Supervillain AKA Wilbur matthews
Supervillain AKA Al bumen
Superhero alter ego unknown
Supervillain
Supervillain AKA Garret Adams
3rd Grade student La hood elementary
...some of whom turned up during RWB’s court case to show their support...
...others to testify against him.
Humph. Super-zeroes. Who cares where they are now? Hood City’s better off without those capes.
And now, two years on from the ‘Ivanovic’ incident, the question on everyone’s lips is ‘Where are the superheroes Now?
The name’s RIBBS. Eddie Ribbs. The guy with the bad attitude totin’ the remote is Ricky Nixon.
We’re homicide detectives. Hood City Police Department. Hood City’s finest. Well, not exactly finest. Not yet.
While Nixon’s gums are flappin’ my brain’s feet are a tap-tap-tappin’.
But we’re doing our best. The guy in back? Eatin’ the tasty and nutricious bucket of chicken? That’s me. Detective third class. One day I hope to make second. Now, normally I don’t say much. Nixon says it’s because my mouth is always full.
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Nixon! Ribbs! My office! NOW! Uh-oh. What did we do this time?
These are the ones, commissioner. The worst guys I have, just like you asked for.
Police Commissioner La Hood?! We ARE in trouble! Stay standing, boys. You ain’t staying.
Boys, it’s the chicken murders. Murdock and Franklin are off the case.
12
But Murdock and Franklin are the best detectives in the precinct!
Now, I know you boys think that I consider you to be a couple of no-good buffoons who couldn’t find a dead body in a funeral parlour. the worst detectives ever to disgrace the Hood city homicide badge. And you’d be right. But these are... Commissioner La Hood’s orders.
What just happened?
Don’t worry, boys, I’m sure you won’t let me down.
Ribbs. A case. A real, live case!
Now, get out of my sight. Both of you.
I can’t believe it! Only last week Shanks busted us down to traffic offence duty! Good ol’ Shanks! He may call you fat and me stupid, but this proves that he believes in us! And of all cases, the chicken case!
13
The chicken case. A serial killer has been killing Uncle Solomon’s Southern Fried Chickens. Or at least the guys inside the chicken suits who hand out flyers for the restaurants.
Five dead in the last two weeks.
Five dead. And now the chicken killer is going for the full six pack. But Shanks is right. We ARE the worst detectives in Hood City. Why would La Hood want us on the case? Unless he doesn’t want it solved...
Ready. What?
Now THAT would be funny!
Too much?
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