Fresh Ink 2022
Temperance Vida Goncalves* When I was younger, baby fat still clinging to my thighs and cheeks and a wide-eyed appreciation for the world around me, I loved to eat. I was smitten with discovering new foods and flavors and fell in love with helping my mother in the kitchen. I often indulged myself in two plates at dinner, enamored with the act of enjoying my food. Again, and again, I was showered with praise for not being fickle with vegetables, always appreciated for eating so much and being a well-fed child. Until I turned ten; the celebration then became a reprimand as I reached for seconds, being chided with the forewarning of becoming fat, just like my mother. I began to learn the facts of moderation. In the year 2013 I got my iPod Touch; I found solace in Instagram communities that discussed my favorite book series and was currently replaying Pokémon Diamond and Pearl on my DSi. Our house was warm with the late September breeze flowing in, the air not yet scorned with October’s chill. I chatted with my oldest sister at the dinnertable that was nestled against the far wall of our kitchen. We were drinking coffee. I was drinking black coffee, because she was drinking black coffee, and I had wanted to be a cool adult like her. Stephanie was short and skinny, but not in a scrawny way. Her legs and arm were toned with muscle from years of cheerleading and her body had a lithe way of moving through the space she occupied. While I was ten years younger than her, I was just an inch and a half below her in height. I began running track and yet, all my child-like features clung to me like a bad cold. I had yet to build any muscle in my legs from the constant running, and I still held a considerable amount of chub on my stomach, arms, legs, and face. When I occupied a space; it was a huge looming presence that wobbled in on knock-knees. I would often look at her pale skin mimicking her hair with a flat iron, walking on my toes as she did, never making a sound as I would tip-toe around the house carefully, trying not to disturb the delicate layer of peace. We often found ourselves at the kitchen table, always doing something to keep ourselves busy while everyone else was out of the house. I always sat and observed my sister while she was on her computer. She had bought it herself after working a shoddy job at the Staples near our house for five 46
