“Distance” by Jason Hesse

DISTANCE

Jason Hesse*

The discomfort of the unknown gleams through the eyes of strangers and through their pleasant greetings and their gentle regards. So I turn away to hide from their glow, daunted by its brilliance. But every so often, amidst that blaring brightness, I find another quiet soul that winks like mine; a kindred spirit, also searching to not be lost. Days will pass; weeks, months, years; and after a while with jokes and smiles and comfort and kindness, two minds begin to intertwine two hearts begin to beat in time; two lives entangle. And yet— I feel like a fish on a hook, wriggling desperately. A simple snack turned trap by my hopefulness that this time, maybe, it might be real and not some nighttime fantasy. Someone who cares, who loves; but loves who? Sometimes I think it’s me; other times I know it might not be.

Those are times I see a distance between us that isn’t there. I see myself an actor in a hollow play; opening night for an empty auditorium. Will ever I stop striving for impossible perfection with jealous eyes and realize I am already important to you?