Family Counselling in Ottawa: Signs Your Family Needs It
Why consider going to a family counselor Family counselors are experts when it comes to effectively managing family and relationship related problems. A family counselor does not only offer family counselling in Ottawa, he/she can also act like your friend and confidant, someone you can tell everything about yourself and family without the fear of being neglected, rejected or judged. The family counselors can also help you better understand the people directly related to you. They can likewise help you see the better side of life and help you make it more meaningful. But the question is, when is the right time to see a family counselor? Below are some of the critical warning signs that will signal you when a family counselor is needed. Addiction We know how the dependence on drugs and alcohol can negatively affect our immediate and extended families. If someone related to you is dependent on these vices, the consequences can even lurk up to your immediate family members. There are rehabilitation services that can help address concerns regarding addiction. And if addiction concerns family relationships, you might need to see a family counselor at once in order to fix what needs to be fixed. Please note that addiction is not only limited to drugs and alcohol abuse but also to other vices and activities that can cause serious damage to relationships, workplaces, families, schools, and/or neighborhoods. This includes addiction in gambling, online or virtual video games, prescription medication, sex, internet, pornography, shopping, plastic surgery, risky behavior, food and other seemed-to-be rewarding activities that a person does over and over again even if he or she knows it can cause problems. According to Wikipedia, “addiction is a complex disorder in the brain, often chronic in nature, that is characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli despite the adverse consequences it may cause�. The said disorder negatively impacts the functioning of the brain and body. Its common symptoms are:
● Doing the same addicting vices continuously despite serious consequences ● Severely losing of control ● Failed attempts to quit ● Tolerance ● Withdrawal Addiction can be treated through medical intervention, therapy, and counseling. However, family members of the addicted individual also need to consider family counseling to help them better understand the condition of their addicted loved one and let them know how they can be of help for their loved one to recover faster and more successfully. Lack of Communication One thing that makes the worst out of us relational beings is the lack of communication or none at all. How are we going to make things right if you can’t ask a person what he or she wants or thinks? It could be that the parents are having difficulty spending time with their children due to busy schedules or other personal reasons, or the children being preoccupied with many things. This issue is one of the lightest signs that a family counseling is needed, though, but it should not be just taken for granted. Lack of communication can easily be addressed by spending dates, doing hobbies together, having a family dinner, or taking some time to have a walk in the park together. But if you have already tried these ways but you still fail to address your communication issues, you might want to consider visiting a family counselor.
Lack of trust Trust is one of the critical foundations of a relationship. It can help build a happy and harmonious relationship. Each member of the family must trust each other. When the walls of trust are breaking down, conflicts will eventually follow. Doubts and lack of trust can destroy any relationship and when trust is gone, it will be very difficult to gain it back. Trust is like a glass, once it gets broken, you can pick up the broken pieces but you can never paste them back together as if nothing had happened. There will always be missing pieces that are almost impossible to pick. The same is true with trust. Once trust is lost, it will be a real challenge to get even half of what’s lost and it will surely take time, effort, and lots of love. But this does not mean it is the end already. Seek advice or help from a family counselor who is an expert in fixing trust issues and you’ll eventually find your way to more harmonious and happier family life. Growing apart It is natural for humans to grow physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. You and your family members will also grow and change as you get older. In order for the family to stay intact and for the relationship to stay strong, each member of the family should understand each other and know how to adapt to these changes and growth. But when conflicts of interests come their way and family members start to grow apart, the relationship within the family will be negatively impacted. For instance, you want your child to take up nursing in college but he wants to follow his dream to become an engineer, or perhaps you want to move to the countryside but your spouse wants to stay in the city, and other situations that demonstrate conflicts of interests. All these can cause your family to grow apart.
Keeping Grudges Minor fights and conflicts, if left unaddressed can become more serious as time goes by. Besides, small but unresolved issues can become bigger when accumulated. Both can lead to deeper anger and eventually grudges. Grudges are like termites that can slowly ruin the foundation of your home. They can poison the family and can build contempt, anger, and resentment. It can also lead to bigger fights and unnecessary bitterness. If one member of the family keeps grudges against the other members, the effect is not only felt by the persons involved but the entire family as well. Examples of small conflicts that can build up over time are — your one child use your other child’s belongings without permission, or your spouse failed to remember your birthday, anniversary, or any significant event, or perhaps your sibling tries to borrow some money or things from you but you did not positively respond to her request. Sometimes you just get angry with your family not knowing what makes you feel that way. Or perhaps, even the slightest mistake of your spouse or child makes you insanely mad. All you know is you are mad without you realizing that the grudges you kept inside for so long have caused it. Visiting a certified family counsellor provides you and your family a neutral platform to talk about the problem, to voice out all hidden grudges you held for a long time already, and to settle everything amicably and lovingly. A family counsellor can serve as a neutral mediator who will help your family navigate the future and figure out what’s best for everyone without fighting and bickering.