eZine April 2011 by Oddfellows

Oddfellows International Membership

Louis Theroux revisits controversial ground in America's Most Hated Family In Crisis In this issue: • News from the Overseas Order in Germany • Supergran is named Amazing Woman of the Year • Oddfellows online

since 1810

Events newsletter for the Oddfellows International Membership | April 2011 | Edition 04

Welcome to the latest edition of the monthly online magazine for Oddfellows’ Members. Firstly, we’d like to welcome all new members from the Schoolteachers Friendly Society who will automatically receive the monthly E-Zine going forward. In this month’s magazine, Louis Theroux revisits controversial ground in America's Most Hated Family In Crisis. We catch up with the Bafta-award winner to find out whether he's as naive as the bumbling Brit he depicts on screen.

Branch Chairman (Noble Grand) Sascha Hohner, opens the doors to the Overseas Order in Germany and tells us of news about its first Oddfellows weekend. Plus, a report on our social media campaign, news on all things Oddfellows and some Royal recipes for you to try out. We do hope you enjoy the magazine and, don’t forget, if you have a story get in touch at editorial@oddfellows.co.uk

‘Supergran’ named Amazing Woman of the Year For more than 40 years, Ruby’s charitable efforts have been recognised in the UK and overseas. Besides cooking for others and helping the homeless, Ruby is also a sick visitor for the Oddfellows. More recently she’s extended her efforts to India by raising money for Street Children.

Ruby pictured with her family (photography courtesy of Birmingham Mail). ‘Supergran’ and ‘Mother Teresa’ are just some of the names that Oddfellow Ruby Martin has been called after securing the title, Amazing Woman of the Year. My Sparkle, organisers of the award, recognises women from all walks of life for their outstanding achievements. Ruby, who lives in Sparkhill in Birmingham, had no idea that she’d been nominated. Her granddaughter Charlene had written a letter detailing her grandmother’s selflessness comparing her qualities to Mother Teresa and describing her as a ‘supergran’.

“My daughter used to work for HSBC and her and a friend went to work in India for four weeks and got involved with a number of charities while they were there. After she died in 2007, I decided to go to India and continue her work.” “We’ve collected money from the church which has helped to buy eight new computers for a school in Azwar, Calcutta. We’ve taken gifts and even helped build a new playground for the children there. “This title comes as a big surprise and I am very pleased – I especially enjoyed the facial which was one of the prizes that came with the award”, she laughs. Ruby is a member of the Birmingham District. She was chairman (Noble Grand) of Elsom and Morning Star Branch in 1992 and will celebrate her 80th birthday on 29 September.

Oddfellows Overseas - what’s happening in Germany This month we speak to the Overseas Order in Germany which is independent to the Manchester Unity of Oddfellows. Branch Chairman (Noble Grand), Sascha Hohner, opens the doors to ‘Großloge der Deuthschen Odd Fellows’ [Grand Lodge of German Oddfellows]. Oddfellowship in Germany was established in 1870, in Wurttemberg, at a time when the country was a state with no formal government, political leadership or other necessities for a nation. Six weeks after the institution of the first Oddfellows Lodge, Germany became a sovereign and independent nation and Oddfellowship began to grow. It now has 1149 members across six Districts within 61 Lodges and numbers are increasing! Securing 33 new members this year alone, as many as three people a week are expressing interest in the Order because of the social activities and the strong bond of friendship between members. “It’s our friendliness that guests first feel when they enter Concordia Lodge”, explains Sascha. The Lodge is one of three in Berlin and was built in 1922. It has some of the Order’s longest standing members and offers a multitude of social activities.

Sascha Hohner, Branch Chairman (Noble Grand) Concordia Lodge Sascha is the youngest Noble Grand in the Order and members believe that his youthfulness and fresh ideas help increase membership numbers. “I’m often told that members like the range of social activities on offer. Sometimes we invite well-known authors to read extracts from books or poems, or we’ll listen to members reciting their dissertations. From bowling and hosting great banquets for guests to days out, we offer something for all”, he said. Its make-up is somewhat different to that of the UK based Oddfellows. As well as Districts and Lodges, alliances of women (sisters) have been formed, 11 of them in fact. These are wives of members who want to help the Order but don’t want to join the women only part of the Order (known as Rebekka’s). The Chairman (Grand Master) of the Overseas Order is Walter Kuttelwascher, who is highly regarded. Not just because of his status, ‘but because he is a very wise and harmonious man’, according to Sascha. Someone that he aspires to be like one day!

First Oddfellows Weekend to happen in 2012 The Grand Lodge of German Oddfellows is planning two ‘Oddfellow Days’. They will take place in 2012 on 6 - 7 October, seeing members and guests celebrating its achievements and the future of the Order.

Rear of the Concordia Lodge, Berlin

All Lodges in Germany will raise money for social projects to coincide with these days. The Concordia Lodge in Berlin is to raise money to buy a special ambulance for premature infants, something that Germany doesn’t have enough of and that can cost its government up to €200.000 per vehicle. As soon as we have more details on the event, we’ll let you know.

Events newsletter newsletter for Events 2011 || Edition Edition 04 03 for the the Oddfellows Oddfellows International International Membership Membership || March April 2011

Oddfellows International Membership FREAKY FASCINATION MAKES TV GOLD Celebrity interview: Louis Theroux

His latest offering is Louis Theroux: America's Most Hated Family In Crisis. Awaiting his phonecall, it’s impossible not to ponder how a two time Bafta-award winning interviewer will enjoy a spot of role reversal. 'Challenging,' 'patronising' and 'taciturn' are just some of the adjectives that have been used to describe the bespectacled Theroux. Suddenly his familiar voice echoes down the receiver and it sounds like it’s a conference call. "No, don't worry," soothes Theroux. "There's no need to feel uncomfortable, it's just me in the room." So far, so charming - but then this is the man who's made a career out of putting people at ease. America's Most Hated Family In Crisis is a follow-up to his acclaimed 2007 documentary The Most Hated Family In America, and sees Theroux return to Topeka, Kansas for a second visit to the Westboro Baptist Church. A fire-and-brimstone Christian group, made up of 80 members of the Phelps family, has garnered worldwide notoriety thanks to their funeral picketing of soldiers killed in action.

Jimmy 'Jim'll Fix It' Saville once described Louis Theroux as the "piranha of interviewers" after he was the focus of one of his documentaries.

For Theroux the story has moved on, which is partly why he wanted to return. That and the fact he admits he's "fascinated" by the Phelps family. He says it doesn't suit his temperament or approach to shout or get cross during interviews. And it's interesting to hear him use the word "approach".

"I found that flattering,” says Theroux chuckling at the mental image. “That's a great accolade." It brilliantly describes the innocuous-looking Theroux, who isn't satisfied until he's revealed the bare bones of his subjects even if he does do it in the most charming of ways.

It suggests premeditation and on more than one occasion Theroux's been accused of faux naivety. Indeed Ann Widdecombe, another of his documentary subjects, said Theroux "charmingly pretends to be naive". "I've heard that quite a bit so I've thought about that," he responds in a typically analytical manner.

Over the last thirteen years, he's interviewed Black Nationalists and UFO fanatics in Louis Theroux's Weird Weekends; shadowed eccentric celebrities such as Saville and the Hamiltons in When Louis Met… and delved deep into the world of plastic surgeons and paedophiles in a string of BBC 2 specials.

On a few occasions he uses: "Let's think" and "What am I trying to say?" before he answers questions. Interestingly he later says: "I like talking about my work but I'm never 100% comfortable because I'm always aware I might be saying the wrong thing."

As for Widdecombe's comment, he believes there's a combination of factors. "Sometimes I ask questions to which I know the answer, because that's the journalistic thing to do," he says, admitting he also likes to feign innocence in order to see the reaction. "Maybe it's my weird sense of humour but it can be quite funny," he laughs. Theroux says it was a lot more "gloves off" on the second visit to the Phelps, given that church members have now watched the first documentary. "I take quite a tough line with them. I mean, I'm somewhat scabrous, can we say that?" he asks. Theroux has been given a tough time too and at one point, a church member likened him to Pontius Pilot for his supposed mockery of Christianity. Yet he was welcomed back with open arms. "They understand they're hated. They quite like it," he says. "They also like that they're promoting their message all over the world, so I think we fit into their plan," he explains, adding it would be too easy to underestimate the family. "One of the big surprises about them is that they’re quite intelligent, professional urbane people," he says. "They're not coming from an uninformed point of view in terms of their background and education, and in no respect are hicks or hillbillies. I enjoy encounters where I'm challenged." The son of acclaimed travel writer and novelist Paul Theroux, he was born in Singapore but he and his brother (novelist Marcel) became boarders at Westminster School when the family moved to London.

Louis with the ‘most hated family In America’ "Those stories were extremely hard to tell for various reasons," he says. "We were filming for more than four weeks, whereas we can usually tell stories in two." As part of his current contract he has six more documentaries to do, one of which is a two-parter he's currently editing. He’s extremely excited about it but also sworn to secrecy. He's yet to decide on future topics but says they’ll have to be something he feels passionately about - and also intriguing. "I'm fascinated by attitudes and mindsets that are alien to me,” he says. “But there has to be some sort of human connection.”

EXTRA TIME - LOUIS THEROUX :: He was born in Singapore on May 20, 1970.

After graduating from Cambridge with a first class degree, Theroux landed his first journalism job on a free paper in California's Silicone Valley, followed by a stint on Spy magazine, along with segments on Michael Moore's TV Nation.

:: He went to school with Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg.

When that series ended, the BBC offered him a development deal and he made his debut with a documentary on America's Televangelists in 1998.

:: He was nicknamed 'Fiddler' as a boy and once pressed the safety button on the Paris metro in "a legendary family incident".

He's proud of lots of projects but looks back with particular fondness on two films - 2008's Law And Disorder, which examined crime levels in Johannesburg, and The Ultra Zionists, which followed teenage settlers in Israel and aired earlier this year.

:: He says he and his team spent a lot of time with travellers before he discovered they were also being filmed for Channel 4's My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.

:: He now lives in London with his partner Nancy and two sons Albert and Frederick.

Events newsletter for the Oddfellows International Membership

| March 2011 | Edition 03

Oddfellows International Membership Finding love second time around Nicola O’Riordan Finlay and her second husband Tom Finlay - Stepney and South Essex District With the date of the Royal wedding looming closer, Will and Kate are soon to become one of the 300,000 UK couples that get married every year*, mostly in June, July and August. We’ve heard from many how you’ve maintained your relationships celebrating ruby, emerald and even diamond wedding anniversaries!

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You developed relationship skills the last time around. You have likely had to resolve conflict, share your space, and make major life decisions about issues such as buying a home or having children. These experiences can help you adapt better to a new relationship.

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You can learn from any mistakes you’ve made. Maybe you chose the wrong partner, let work stress sour your relationship, or didn’t handle conflicts well. Whatever those mistakes were, they offer valuable lessons you can use in your next relationship.

But what about those who are finding love second time round after divorce, bereavement, or mutual agreement? Here, we speak to Dr. Gian Gonzaga, world-renowned expert in the field of compatibility and relationships for eHarmony.co.uk.

“The second time around, you know what you like and what you don’t like, so it is easier chosing the right person to spend your life with,” says Nicola O’Riordan Finlay, Secretary of Stepney and South Essex District of Oddfellows.

After a break-up, there needs to be a period of grief and adjustment; you will be difficult to be around and won’t attract the kind of person who will be best for you when the good times return.

HOW TO LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER… With over 15 years experience in studying relationships, Dr Gonzaga echoes some of your sentiments of what makes relationships work. From his research, he has created ten toptips for members that every couple should know. They are:

It can be daunting to look for another relationship when you’ve been committed to someone for years. The world of dating has changed, and there will be times when you may feel left behind or out of sync. There may be days when you’ll think you’ll never find someone new. Believe it or not you are in a position of strength. You have been through a relationship before, and, even if it ended bitterly, you learned lessons that can help you grow personally and find another, better relationship. However, if you approach the search in the right spirit and are willing to try new things, you can make wiser choices than when you were in your teens or early twenties. Here’s why: •

You know yourself better. You know what you want, what you believe in, and who you are. This makes it easier to look for someone with the same outlook.

1. Communicate – Share your hopes, worries, frustrations and mess-ups with your spouse without fear of being judged, and don’t judge your partner when they do the same. In marriage, living as a 24/7 partnership, there's no way you can keep your guard up all the time. If you can begin married life with a "you can tell me anything" relationship, then that's a great start. 2. Making time – In our busy lives it’s easy to get caught up in general everyday routines, so it’s important for every married couple to make time just for themselves. Make a point of arranging a night every week to do something different together; cook, go out for drinks, take a long walk - it’s just the two of you spending quality time together.

* There are over 300,000 marriages each year in the UK according to Office of National Statistics.

Events newsletter for the Oddfellows International Membership | April 2011 | Edition 04

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A Right Royal Connection

3. Intimacy and romance – Carry on holding hands in public, making eyes at each other and playing footsie under the table. Intimacy and even a bit of flirting (with each other) are important in keeping the romance alive. Saying ‘I do’ shouldn’t kill the romance in your relationship. 4. Individuality – Whilst you and your spouse probably share many common interests, there will be interests that you don’t share. It’s important to keep your individuality and not to forget the things that you really enjoy doing. 5. Address small issues before they get big – Little irritations today can turn into big conflicts tomorrow. You probably already know what irritates your partner. If you know that leaving your dirty coffee cup on the side annoys them, take two minutes to wash-up the cup and don’t provoke an argument. Talk about little problems before they turn into big ones because if lots of minor issues go unaddressed, resentment will build and little problems will turn into big ones. 6. Celebrate the good times - The way you respond to your partner’s good news is as an important predictor of the health and strength of your marriage as the way you respond to bad news. Feeling that your partner is there for you when things go right in your life creates emotional safety and is vital to strong, healthy relationships. 7. Laugh together - One of the most important qualities in a successful marriage is humour. When you laugh with your partner you feel many positive emotions which grow into greater intimacy and closeness.

Marrissa and John McPhillips on their wedding day

8. Spontaneity – It’s so easy to fall into boring routines, and this kills romance. Go ahead, do the unexpected! Embrace the art of spontaneity, and you certainly won’t feel life is stale.

Last month we shared some of your top tips to help Will and Kate on their way to a long and happy marriage. And your stories keep on coming…

9. Achieving goals together – Plan an adventurous trip away, learn a new skill or take up a new hobby together. Sharing a common goal and working together to achieve it, keeps you close and can make your relationship more exciting and passionate.

Social organiser, Fely Doloroso, from Leigh and Bolton District, tells us that her daughter, Marrissa, and son-in-law, John, will be celebrating their seventh wedding anniversary on the same day of the Royal Wedding.

10. Complimenting – A compliment goes a long way. Remember to tell your other half how fantastic they look, how nice they smell, how much you enjoy their company, and make it genuine.

Fely tells us that it took John three years and two proposals before Marrissa said ‘yes’, so it was a happy event shared by the family and friends, including those who came from as far as Ireland, Canada and the Philippines to attend the wedding. 7

Events Events newsletter newsletter for for the the Oddfellows Oddfellows International International Membership Membership || March March 2011 2011 || Edition Edition 03 04

Oddfellows International Membership Recipes for Royalty Are you still waiting for an invitation to attend the Royal wedding? Perhaps it's time to accept defeat and plan your own party instead! Fruity coronation chicken Ingredients • 1 medium chicken • 1 onion, peeled and cut into wedges • 150g apricot & fresh ginger chutney • 100g crème fraîche or Greek natural yogurt • 200g mayonnaise • 1 ripe mango • 3 tbsp whole peeled almonds, halved and lightly toasted • 2 tbsp fresh chopped coriander • Salt and pepper to season

Individual Victoria Sponges Ingredients For the cake: • 200g caster sugar • 200g unsalted butter, softened plus a little for greasing • 4 medium eggs • 1tsp vanilla extract • 200g self-raising flour, sieved • 1tsp baking powder • 2tbsp milk For the filling: • 100g unsalted butter, softened • 150g icing sugar, sifted • A drop of vanilla extract • 340g jar good-quality British strawberry jam • Caster sugar, to decorate

Method • Preheat the oven to 190C/375F/gas mark 5. Stuff the cavity of the chicken with onion wedges, season and roast the chicken for 20mins per 450g, or until the juices run clear from the thigh. Cool, then strip the meat from the chicken, cut into bite sized pieces and put into a large bowl. • Mix the apricot & fresh ginger chutney, crème fraîche (or natural yoghurt) and mayonnaise together, and season. • Peel the mango, cut away the stone and cut the flesh into thick chunks. • Add the chutney mixture to the bowl of chicken with the mango chunks, almonds and coriander and mix together gently • Serve in small bowls alongside Individual Victoria Sponges Method 1. Heat oven to 190ºC (gas mark 5). Butter and lightly dust with flour 6 individual tins measuring about 7.5 cm in diameter and 5.5 cm in height. 2. Beat together the unsalted butter and sugar in a large bowl with a wooden spoon or preferably an electric mixer until pale and fluffy. This can take up to 10 mins. 3. Break the eggs into small bowl and add the vanilla extract. Beat the mixture lightly with a fork. 4. Add the egg very gradually to the mixture. Do this slowly to avoid curdling. If the mix does curdle add a tablespoon of the flour. Once all the eggs are in, fold in the flour with a large metal spoon. The mixture should be of a dropping consistency, if not add a little milk. 5. Divide the mixture between the tins, smooth the surface. Bake for about 20 mins until golden and the cakes springs back when pressed. Turn onto a cooling rack and leave to cool completely. 6. To make butter icing: beat the unsalted butter until smooth and creamy, then gradually beat in icing sugar. Beat in vanilla extract. 7. Split the cakes in half. Spread the butter cream over the bottom half and top it with jam. Sandwich with the top. Dust with a little caster sugar before serving.

Events newsletter for the Oddfellows International Membership | April 2011 | Edition 04

We’re reaching out to a global community! The Oddfellows is engaging members across the globe more so than ever. Our Facebook fans and Twitter followers continue to rise, helping us to ‘make friends and help people’ around the world. Our Facebook page and Twitter accounts are the main referring sites that drive traffic to the Oddfellow’s website and Archives section of the site. Since the launch of our online activity, roughly ten percent of the 61,783 website visitors over the course of the year have been international with the remainder from the UK. Compared to last year, site visits are up 43%, proving that you, Overseas Districts and Orders, as well as non-members, are referring to the website for all things Oddfellows. In addition, the information is telling us that many members from Overseas Orders are utilising the sites, demonstrating that they continue to calibrate with UK Oddfellows. So who is exactly reading up on the Society? We’re reaching men and women in English speaking countries such as America, Canada, Australia and New Zealand, who have good levels of computer literacy and access, and are in the 40+ age bracket (42% female/ 56% male). Since the launch of the Facebook page, there has been 183,636 views - the number of times people (fans and non-fans) have viewed a news feed story posted by us on to the page. During this period there have been more than 2,201 conversations and feedback views. Archives The Archives section of the site remains popular with some of you interested in genealogy, or researching your family tree. There have been well over 10,000 downloads of documents with more than 20,000 unique visits to this section of the site - a substantial increase in the number of new visitors!

The Society monitors conversations online and refer people to this section of the site. As you will be aware, members get completely free access to the Archives, with non-members limited to a five document download. Our online work has enabled us to build upon our relationships with Overseas Districts and Orders. Members have been utilising the Facebook page and actively taking part in discussions and informing us of ongoing Oddfellows activities abroad. Get involved in the online community by following the_oddfellows on Twitter, or use the link http://www.facebook.com/pages/TheOddfellows/349933567287. Don’t forget, you must ‘Like’ the Facebook page in order receive updates and requests from the site!

Twitter Number of followers: 517. Following more than 1950 people. Facebook More than 1300 friends that ‘Like’ the Oddfellows page.

Oddfellows International Membership

Book prize giveaway To celebrate the release of new book ‘Dating the Second Time’, eHarmony is giving away 1000 copies exclusively to members of Oddfellows. Edited by Dr Gonzaga, senior director of research and development at eHarmony, he shows you how to learn from your past relationships, how to get to know the real you today, and how to work out what you really want from a future relationship. To be in with a chance of winning a copy all you need to do is answer this question: What is the name of eHarmony’s Senior Director of Research and Development? c) Dr Chris Steele b) Dr Gian Gonzaga a) Dr Hilary Jones Simply send your answer, name, address and daytime telephone number to bookgiveaway@eharmony.com by 11.59pm GMT, Tuesday 30 May, 2011. Please make the subject line of your email ‘Book Giveaway ’.

Terms and Conditions * Entrants must be 18 or over, or accompanied by a parent or guardian if they win. • No purchase of products or services from eHarmony is necessary. • The competition prize is non-transferable. No cash alternative. • There are 1000 prizes to be won. Winners will be selected at random from correct entries submitted. • The competition is open to UK residents only. • One correct entry per email address will be added to the prize draw. • By submitting an entry, entrants acknowledge and accept these terms and conditions and agree that the winner agrees that their name, county of residence and question response may be released if they win a prize, and consent to any post-event publicity. • Employees of, or those representing, eHarmony or their affiliated companies, their families, cohabitants, agents or anyone else connected with the promotion, are not eligible to enter.

• eHarmony is the promoter of this competition and can be contacted at eHarmony UK, Po Box 5904, London, WC1N 3XX. • Winners will be notified within one week of the competition closing. The results of the competition are final and no correspondence will be entered into. • The prizewinners name and county of residence can be obtained by sending a SAE within 14 days following the free prize draw to eHarmony UK, Po Box 5904, London, WC1N 3XX • Entry must be made by the entrant, only at the Entry Site. Entries made by any other individual or any entity, and/or originating at any other Internet web site of email address, including but limited to commercial competitions, subscription, notification and/or entering service sites, will be declared invalid and disqualified from this free prize draw. The use of any device to automate the entry process is prohibited. • eHarmony has the right to change/update these terms and conditions from time to time.

Events newsletter for the Oddfellows International Membership | April 2011 | Edition 04