Ha, Ha, Ha!—Robots of Sherwood by Alissa Wales

Ha, Ha, Ha!—Robots of Sherwood Alissa Wales

***Spoilers ahead***

In the Peter Capaldi era of Doctor Who, there’s an episode in which Clara asks to be taken to meet Robin Hood. The Doctor initially refuses because Robin Hood is “made up…there’s no such thing.” Eventually, he concedes, and they end up in Sherwood Forest around A.D. 1190. Of course, with it being Doctor Who, the very first person they run into is the very person they were intending to find: Robin Hood…or is it? The Doctor is hardly convinced. Due to the TARDIS appearing out of thin air, Robin is convinced it is a trick (with mirrors, perhaps), laughs about it, and lets the Doctor know that the TARDIS will now be claimed by Robin himself. The Doctor is annoyed with Robin’s antics already (especially his laughing), besides the fact that no one will ever take his TARDIS from him. Out pops Clara from the TARDIS, in medieval garb, and she is completely struck silly, almost shy. She can’t believe they actually found Robin Hood. “That is not Robin Hood,” says the Doctor. Robin draws his sword and declares that he will take the “magic box.” The Doctor has no sword, instead he pulls out a spoon. They duel on a tree trunk bridge crossing a running river. It starts playfully, but then Robin cuts a button off the Doctor’s coat and tensions are high. Robin lunges and the Doctor blocks it, so they are back-to-back. The Doctor knocks Robin off the tree trunk into the river. Clara runs over to see where Robin went. There are no signs of life in the river. Robin pops up and knocks the Doctor into the river. Robin and Clara laugh. Ha, ha, ha! Because the Doctor is convinced Robin is not real, when they get back to their camp, at each person’s introduction, the Doctor is taking some sort of sample (hair, blood, etc.) and analyzing it with the sonic screwdriver. He mutters to himself about if things were real (“all those diseases. If you were real, you’d be dead in six months”). Throughout all this, there’s intermittent merriment and laughter (ha, ha, ha!), much to the irritation of the Doctor. He is convinced there is something amiss, he just can’t put his finger on it. In the meantime, Clara is having a moment with Robin about his story. He tells her about losing his titles, but it

seems she already knows everything, including his losing his most precious Marian. He never questioned why she knew everything, but just assumed all was normal. Robin went on to talk about the archery contest, which Clara exclaimed was a trap. Of course, they all know it’s a trap, and the whole band of Merry Men laugh (ha, ha, ha!). Again, the Doctor was truly annoyed. Once the archery contest commences, the Doctor then feels he has to interfere. He really must get to the bottom of what is going on. The Sheriff of Nottingham has his guards arrest everyone, but since the Doctor is trying to figure everything out, he blows up the target, that’s when the guards turn out to be… robots!

Robin, the Doctor, and Clara are put in the dungeon together. Robin and the Doctor are clearly trying to one up each other constantly. Clara is fed up with their behavior. “Shut up!” She has to tell them twice to get them to listen, and she tries to talk sensibly and logically to both of them (ha, ha, ha!). A guard comes in. “The sheriff himself commanded me to listen, to find out which of you is the true ringleader.” Both Robin and the Doctor expect to be taken to the sheriff, and the guard unlocks Clara and takes her away. This is one of my favorite things that happens in this show to date. After she leaves, the Doctor and Robin come up with a plan to get the guard to come back. They argue about who is to fake being sick, but they finally get there, Robin moans and groans. The guard comes in and enquires about what ails Robin. He knocks the guard out with a head-butt. They get his keys, but since they can’t stop bickering about who will get them, the keys go down the drain. Meanwhile, Clara is being “questioned” by the sheriff. But, as it turns out, she is getting more information from him than he is from her. As it turns out, she is quite clever and knows how to stroke his ego to get him to tell his story. Robin and the Doctor escape from the dungeon to come across a mysterious metal doorway that does not belong in the castle hallway. Of course, the Doctor upon entering is familiar with a spaceship, but Robin is confused and bewildered. The Doctor investigates the data banks of the spaceship, and he learns about the radiation that is causing the surrounding climate to be too warm for the season, for the ship to be disguised as a castle, and the mystery of Robin Hood. Images of various Robin Hoods flash across the screen, from book illustrations to film adaptations, including Patrick Troughton (the Second Doctor) portraying the character in 1953. The Doctor sees that the radiation is from the damaged ship’s engines. If the engines aren’t fixed, they will blow the ship up like a giant bomb and it’s going to kill everyone. Ha, ha, ha! Merriment ensues, or does it? Might you’ll find out? Clearly, if you’re reading this, you appreciate the story of Robin Hood. Maybe you’ll give this episode of Doctor Who a go. It’s from series 8, and it’s episode 3.