The Easter Bunny Retirement Party A Fable for our Times: by Don Beaudreau

Don Beaudreau wbeaudreau@aol.com

Once upon a time, there was a festive gathering of the famous and fabulous at a party hosted by the Easter Bunny.

The list included Cupid, Santa Claus, the Fairy Godmother, the Great Jehovah, St. Patrick, Punxsutawney Phil, the New Year Baby, the Grim Reaper, the Tooth Fairy, the Three Little Pigs, the Three Blind Mice, the Three Stooges, Goldilocks without the Three Bears, Cinderella, Father Time, Jack-O’-Lantern, Little Red Riding Hood, the Big Bad Wolf, Tom Turkey, Tom Thumb, Thumbelina, Mother Nature, Casey at the Bat, the Velveteen Rabbit, Johnny Appleseed, John Bunyan, John Henry, Oh Johnny Be Good, and Don Juan.

Ms. Bunny, a Free Thinker, had invited them because she was weary with the same old/same old celebrations at Easter time and figured that representatives of other holidays, traditions, myths, stories, and songs might be able to invent a new celebration. She, in fact, wanted to retire.

“Something inclusive, but sparkling,” she explained to her guests. “This business of sunrise and flowers and jellybeans and dyed eggs is quite tiresome to me. Not to mention the fact that every Easter, I am the star. I wanna retire! I’m tired of mommies and daddies dragging me out of attics and closets and basements and putting me on display. Toy bunnies and plastic bunnies; dollbaby bunnies and Styrofoam bunnies; pink and green and chartreuse bunnies; big and furry, and fluffy and flouncy bunnies. And candy bunnies: chocolate bunnies (hollow or solid; white or dark; with nuts or without nuts); marshmallow bunnies; and gummi worm bunnies. And bunny cakes and bunny Baskin-Robbins ice cream concoctions. Even bunny lawn displays lit up at night. None of this is cute to me anymore! I wanna retire! I want my star on the sidewalk in Hollywood next to Elizabeth Taylor’s!”

Well, Ms. Bunny’s announcement came as a shock to her guests. Nobody ever had thought to change Easter. Easter had always been Easter. And Ms. Bunny had always been Ms. Bunny. Certainly, she was only joking with them, wasn’t she?

“Ain’t nothin’ funny about it!” she assured them. “My whiskers droop, my tail doesn’t salute, my fur doesn’t respond to dry cleaning the way it used to, my ears don’t flop anymore—they just lie there waiting for a resurrection. I need a change!”

“Ho! Ho! Ho!” chuckled the everchuckling chub himself, Santa Claus. “Easter wouldn’t be Easter without you, Ms. Bunny.”

“We agree! We agree! We agree!” squealed the Three Little Pigs in unison.

“You can say that again! And again! And again!” affirmed Punxsutawney Phil, the monarch of Groundhog Day.

“We agree! We agree! We agree!” said the Three Little…you know whats.

But Ms. Bunny would have none of their protest. After all, she was firm in her desire to exterminate any semblance of bunny business in the world. No one could convince her otherwise. No matter how big and luscious a carrot they dangled before her ever-pink-eyed condition. Truly, although Ms. Bunny’s stage name was Easter Bunny, her birth name was Bette Davis Bunny. The old gal was tough.

“Anybody got a shamrock?” said St. Patrick, hoping to bring some luck to this tense situation.

“No, but I got a few extra teeth,” said the Tooth Fairy, smiling.

The New Year Baby began to cry in fear. The Grim Reaper and the Big Bad Wolf began to eye Ms. Bunny with interest.

“I’ll take her place,” announced Cinderella, hoping for further professional advancement. “Oh, I would be such a wonderful Easter symbol. A rags-toriches story: from the scullery to the palace; from the dark and dank and stink and stank of the drearies and deadlies of winter cometh spring . . . spring . . . spring!”

“Spring . . . spring . . . spring!” joined in the Three Little Pigs.

“But nobody can take Ms. Bunny’s place,” gobbled Tom Turkey, president of the We Love You Ms. Bunny Fan Club.

Just then Jack-O’-Lantern lit up with an idea. “I know. We can make the pumpkin the symbol of Easter. We can carve it into the shape of Ms. Bunny, put some Mexican jumping beans into it so that it’ll hop around, and stick a couple of Q-Tips in its head to make it look like it has ears, and then . . .”

“We like it. We like it. We like it,” shouted, not the Three Little Pigs this time, but the Three Stooges who began bopping each other over the head and twisting each other’s noses, ears, and sundry body parts.

“Nonsense!” roared the Great Jehovah, being ubermacho. “We’ll do it my way or no way.”

“What’s that, Jehovah?” said Mother Nature, disturbed once again by the man’s presumptive control issues.

“Sorry, Mother,” said the Great Jehovah, shrinking to less than deified proportions. “I only meant to offer a suggestion.”

She gave him a stern, motherly look. “Just remember who created you, my son!”

Father Time decided to chime in. “Okay, then, we must hurry about the task set before us by Ms. Bunny. Indeed, the old gal ain’t getting any younger. Nor is anybody else.”

“Indeed,” proclaimed Goldilocks, little girl lost in the woods. “Time is just a circus, always packing up and moving away.”

“What? What? What?” squealed the Three Blind Mice.

Frustrated beyond belief, Ms. Bunny demanded: “Let’s move it, people! Easter’s almost here and we’ve got to come up with something. But what do we do?”

“How about a committee?” Johnny Appleseed suggested, thereby planting the first seed.

“Good idea,” said Johnny Be Good.

“Very good, very good,” said Ms. Bunny. “So who’s going to be in charge? And who’s going to take notes? And who’s going to be the treasurer? The publicity director? The legal counsel? The Deus ex machina? The Prime Mover? The Lord of Lords? The hostess with the mostess? The most eligible bachelor?”

Don Juan raised both his hands upon hearing the availability of the last position. “I’m always available for romance!” he said, with a smile and a wink.

“Just don’t ask us to take notes, Ms. Bunny,” said Tom Thumb, with his distant cousin Thumbelina, nodding her in head in agreement. “We’re all thumbs.”

“Oh, that’s funny,” chortled Casey at the Bat. “You scored a home run with that one.”

Still after a number of awkwardly silent moments without anyone other than Don Juan’s offer, Ms. Bunny suggested they do a group meditation, and hope that the spirit would guide them.

“And if any of you would like to pet me during this time of reflection, please feel free,” begged the Velveteen Rabbit who had gone without touch for almost eleven minutes—far too long a time for this needy, fake-fur ball.

“Whatever,” said Ms. Bunny, adding a shrug of her shoulders and sending it in the direction of her ever-needy distant cousin. Ms. Bunny continued, “Anyhow, realizing that it’s a very brief span between birth to bounce to flounce to... Well, you get my point. We are merely strands of the web. Dangling here and there amidst the other flimsy strands woven into the big flycatcher in the sky. So, let us now seek discernment as we stare at our navels, touch base with our kundalinis, spoon our way down into our psychic essentialities, massage our chakras, and perhaps discover a new thought; a new way of being.”

And with that, the partygoers became as if somnambulant, i.e., dead in their tracks.

Actually, being mano-a-mano and macho-macho men, John Bunyan and John Henry fell asleep instead of plopping into a profound state of meditation. Together, their snores took turns reenacting the Boom Boom Boom of the canons accompanying the “1812 Overture.”

But even these big and burly bruisers had a connection with all the others at the party. For truly, the entire assemblage arrived at a state of deeper awareness, beyond the buffoonery and baboonery of verbal one-upmanship. Closing their eyes and opening their spirits to what was waiting within them to claim, brought forth a new perspective, a new way of being. And so the collective idea arose within each partygoer—a concept nurtured in peace and harmony in the very midst of the creative dance of the cosmos, that resurrection was possible; that the Easter Bunny would not retire or die and move off the drawing board of creative existence; but that she would go on and on forever. Only transformed. Reborn.

And in their state of meditational discernment there appeared a beauteous vision: Ms. Bunny as Ms. Bunny— complete, in the sense that she was timeless, beyond age; both ancient and fur-challenged, as well as young and fully-furred. She was no longer one or the other, but exquisite in her absoluteness: wise crone rabbit; innocent child bunny.

So in such immeasurable awareness of the possible within this symbol of Easter, and with the fullest acknowledgement of what might be possible within themselves as creatures forever being recreated, Ms. Bunny’s party guests discovered life renewed. They discovered their facades had melted away and saw themselves as one, together for time and eternity, in a seamless web of relationship. Beyond name, beyond appearance, and beyond category.

Re-entering the world of the justapparent-and-most-obvious, they saw that Ms. Bunny had been replenished, too. Once again the transformative power of life had made her young and glossy, bright of eye and bushy of tail—ready to greet yet another Eastertide with joy and wonder. Nevertheless, all those at the party were aware that Ms. Bunny and they, themselves, were more than just their outward appearance. That all possible Ms. Bunnies existed deep inside the one they viewed at that moment; that all possible selves of themselves and the beings of their beings lived deep inside the ones they viewed in the mirror.

So, with this knowledge—this knowledge of knowledge—existed all wisdom and joy. And the birds sang, the flowers bloomed, and the world embraced in dance.

Can We Just Talk?

Ifeel like my brain power diminished during the pan-

demic. Words come to me slower and writing something by hand seems to result in more mistakes than before isolation. Communicating with my husband is more challenging, as we have spent two years joined at the hip because of Covid. You can imagine that a Zoom seminar caught my interest when the subject was “Healthy Communication for Healthy Relationships.”

The presenter was Dr. Kara Winkler, an associate professor in Communication Studies at the University of Houston. I eagerly attended by computer, making copious notes which I’d be able to share with my husband over an evening glass of wine. I learned several communication guidelines.

If you want to have a healthy relationship with a significant other one must practice “prosocial strategies.” There should be positivity, openness, and assurances. The two of you should do social networking and joint activities, and share tasks. (That one is loaded!) Humor should be used, and affection given often. The big capstone is that you should practice constructive conflict. I felt like a whole seminar could have been taught just on constructive conflict.

Here was a zinger: There should be five positive contacts to each problem contact.

We went to dinner with another couple. During the meal I mentioned the 5/1 rule. The couple looked at me blankly. The male said, “We don’t have conflicts.” I looked at the female partner. She heartily agreed. “Never!”

I thought about the conflicts I work to resolve with my husband. I made them confirm they never disagree. Then, as the night wore on, every time they disagreed, either my husband or I would exclaim, “Conflict!” We became annoying I am sure, but our point was made.

The next morning my friend texted me: “We had five conflicts on the way home.” This is a couple who interact in a positive, loving manner. The point is that when two people disagree about something, conflict occurs. Something like who takes out the garbage can result in conflict. How it is addressed is important to the relationship. It was charming that this couple’s conflicts were so small as to not register with either of them.

So how should conflict be resolved? Listening is key to good communication. We know it is easier to talk than to listen. Couples must collaborate and examine both points of view to seek a solution that satisfies both parties.

Four things can hurt a relationship: 1. Criticism 2. Being defensive 3. Contempt. One party feeling superior to the other. In this case, something else may be going on, resentment exists, and questions may reveal the real issue. 4. Stonewalling. Communication is cut off, and the situation is toxic.

Therapy is required.

Antisocial strategies that can harm a healthy relationship exist. For example, infidelity is an obvious problem. Allowing one party to control the other is also a bad practice. Individuals need their own friends and hobbies. Jealousy induction is not a positive practice. And forget spying, as that too is not productive.

You may be wondering what some typical conflict issues are. They vary by types of relationships, but I was interested in married couples. The issues were many: chores, money, possessiveness, sex, and children. It’s a wonder any of us can make it through such a jungle of risks.

Key to a strong relationship is the right set of skills. We must empathize more, practice more acts of kindness, value the relationship, and become other-centered. If I can do all of these, I’ll feel like a saint!

The seminar had an entire section on apologies to repair damaged relationships. I’ve made many mistakes over the years. In a real apology we must accept that we caused pain, acknowledge our role in the damage, and commit to change the harmful behavior. The advantage to these behaviors is that we learn and change interactions for better relations, which is a beautiful goal.

Longevity in a healthy relationship is a true gift, worth all the work.

Katina Pontikes

By Jackie Kellum

This is part two: Lessons our pets can teach us, if we observe them.

Have you ever seen a cat or dog get so focused on doing something and keep trying until they succeed, like opening a package of “forbidden” food

treats? They keep working at it until they get it done. That energy is fierce determination, discipline, resourcefulness, and adaption. All of this is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. If we humans want something realized, we certainly can act as successfully as a cat or a dog with a task.

Be happy! Cats and dogs focus on the smallest things which make them happy, even the simplest toy or a kind word. Being happy comes down to focusing on what you have, rather than what you don’t. But for humans, that’s easier said than done. That’s because we’re programmed to take the good for granted and brood over the bad instead, or what we think we should have or want. We need to learn to appreciate the small gifts of life. When we know how to acknowledge the beauty that already exists in our lives, we don’t have to spend all of our days chasing after it. Our pets practice this each day, so we can learn this from them. In addition to happiness, pets can teach us about gratitude, which goes hand in hand together. Pets remind us the value of what we already have and being grateful for it. This life lesson is part of learning to be content, and thankful for the simplest things in our lives.

Pets understand and can teach us if we are willing to learn the true meaning of being a friend, caring and expressing empathy. Although they cannot speak words, their mere presence is reassuring and comforting, especially during a time of someone’s personal struggle or grief. They sense your feelings and graciously show up and sit with you providing a deep sense of healing that goes way beyond any words that could be said. Although they might not have been ‘best friends’ previously with that person, they recognize a person in need. The pet puts their feelings aside if needed, and offering and providing loving care and attention in time of need for that person. For your pet, that person is “family” and does not have to be a “blood relative” to care about. They understand better than many humans that sometimes “family” is the people in our lives who we’ve chosen to have there. Our pets might not be related to us genetically, but you’d never know it based on the way they love us.

Live in the Moment! Our pets have practiced “mindfulness” long before it became a popular trendy human thing. This is a brief explanation of mindfulness: a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, etc. Pets do this all the time, we just need to practice this and include it in our own daily life. They graciously and happily accept praise and good will from others. We can never really know what our pet is thinking about, but we know he is not worrying about schedules, family drama, what others think about him, etc. He is enjoying the moment he is in. For him or her, every scent is new, every person is special, and every bit of food is appreciated. Take joy in the smallest of things, don’t sweat the small stuff, and relish the moment. Live your life like your pet does – enjoy the moment!

June’s article: Enjoy Life’s Journey like your pet.

Jackie Kellum

By Michael Warren

Season 57

This has been an up-and-

down season. There have been two historical plays, two strange plays, a musical event, and finally a Canadian comedy. In addition to some unusual choices, we had to deal with the continuing pandemic which required halfempty houses. LLT still carried on with considerable courage and skill.

The two plays based on actual history were remarkably different. The Madres was set in 1978 Argentina during the military dictatorship of President Videla. At this time thousands of his opponents were captured and killed, while also pregnant women were imprisoned and their babies taken to suitable foster parents favorable to the regime. This play was extremely well-performed and I found it to be both real and very moving. On the other hand, Silent Sky was interesting but not exactly a play. This was a biography of Henrietta Leavitt who made some important discoveries in astronomy about one hundred years ago. In spite of being female, and thus denied access to the Harvard Observatory telescope, she was able to publish Leavitt’s Law, which shows a mathematical relationship between the brightness and periodicity of certain variable stars. This gave astronomers a measuring stick for the universe. I appreciated her story, but there was a lack of tension or emotional discovery that makes for a good play.

What about the strange plays? Well, the first play of the season was Everything in the Garden, an Edward Albee adaptation of a British play by Giles Cooper. It’s all about greed and corruption in the suburbs. And probably murder as well. You take what you can get, like all the neighbors, and hope not to be found out. And then there was Random World, which was a really strange play. In fact, it was hardly a play at all. The author threw together some two-person audition scenes and called it a play. Maybe it’s clever in a life’s-like-that kind of way, but I found it disjointed and confusing.

And finally the musical. Unfortunately, the originally planned A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum had to be cancelled, so LLT put on a show of popular songs and dance routines from musicals of the past. And it was really very good. It shows how much talent we have in this little town. I particularly enjoyed the tap dance routine and the “Hey, Big Spender” number from Sweet Charity. But of course there was no story line and it’s difficult to say more than it was very well done. LLT did a great job, and I congratulate the entire team.

The last play of the season will be the comedy Cake Walk, which opens on March 25. It was first produced in 1984 for a Canada Day performance in Blyth, Ontario. I haven’t seen it yet, and it’s the only comedy show of the season, so I hope it’s hilarious.

That was Season 57. I hope that Season 58 will be as good or better. And COVID-free!

Michael Warren

Streets of Mexico

By David Ellison

El Pípila

Perhaps his nickname, “El Pípila” (The Turkey), referred to the freckles on his face, reminiscent of those on a tur-

key egg. Perhaps it highlighted his silly cackle of a laugh like a turkey’s gobble. Maybe he’d been born with both mental and physical disabilities, and the name was an insulting reference to his limp. Most likely, Pípila never even existed.

Supposedly, Juan José de los Reyes Martínez Amaro was a miner in Guanajuato. Twelve days after Miguel Hidalgo began the Mexican War for Independence on Dieciséis de Septiembre (September 16th ), 1810, the insurgentes (mostly just a ragtag, enraged mob of Native peasants) arrived in Guanajuato. The Spaniards and wealthy Creoles had taken refuge in El Alhóndiga de Granaditas, the town’s granary, an imposing, apparently impregnable stone fortress. Its only weak spot was its massive wooden door.

According to legend, Hidalgo turned to Pípila and exclaimed, “The country needs your courage . . . Will you dare to set fire to the door of the Alhóndiga?”

Pípila strapped a large, stone slab to his back to protect himself from Spanish muskets, and crawled like a turtle to the granary door. Using the torch and tar he’d carried with him, he set the door afire. Thus, Hidalgo’s “army” won the battle, and Pípila became the immortal hero he is.

What is rarely recounted with this compelling tale is the fact that, once Los Insurgentes stormed into the granary, they ignored the defenders’ attempts to surrender. They butchered them all— men, women, children . . . everyone— and then plundered their riches and treasures. The massacre infuriated Hidalgo’s co-commander, Ignacio Allende, and convinced most Creoles, including Agustín de Iturbide, to spurn the revolutionaries. It was a hollow victory.

Nonetheless, a huge, stone monument honoring El Pípila towers on a hillside overlooking Guanajuato. Pípila’s statue holds aloft a firebrand known as the “Torch of Liberty.”