Sally Asante shares more of her “Word Salad” and the craziness of the English in this last installment.

By Sally Asante

Signs you’re aging...in case you hadn’t noticed

This is the last installment of Sally Asante’s Collection of Word Salad. Thank you Sally!

Aging insights as told by humorists:

1. I don’t feel old. In fact, I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.—Bob Hope 2. After seventy, you still chase women, but only downhill.—Bob Hope 3. Youth is wonderful. It’s a shame to waste it on the young.—Mark Twain 4. You can’t reach old age by another man’s road. My habits protect my life, but they would assassinate you.—Mark Twain 5. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.—Jack Benny 6. Except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.— Robert Benchley 7. Last night I had a typical cholesterol-free dinner: baked squash, skimmed milk, and gelatin. I’m sure this will not make me live any longer, but I know it’s going to seem longer.—Groucho Marx 8. Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.— Groucho Marx 9. I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Future, and someday, when my generation retires, they will have to pay us trillions of dollars in social security.— Dave Barry 10. I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth’s gravitational pull has become since 1990.—Dave Barry 11. I stay away from natural foods. At my age, I need all the preservatives I can get.—George Burns 12. If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.—George Burns 13. I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have facelifts until my ears meet.—Rita Rudner 14. Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.—Phyllis Diller 15. Looking fifty is great—if you’re sixty.—Joan Rivers 16. You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.— Woody Allen 17. All my life I wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.—Lily Tomlin 18. Don’t go to a school reunion. There’ll be a lot of old people there claiming to be your classmates.—Tom Dreesen 19. Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone.—Jim Fiebig 20. In a survey for Modern Maturity magazine, men over seventy-five said they had sex once a week. Which proves that old guys lie about sex too.—Irv Gilman 21. Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own.—Doug Larson

And just in case you still aren’t sure, you know you’re growing old when . . .

1. You see a pretty young girl and wonder what her mother looks like. 2. The pretty girl you smile at thinks you are one of her father’s friends. And she helpfully opens the door for you. 3. When you whistle at a pretty girl, she thinks you’re calling her dog. 4. All your dreams about girls are reruns. 5. The little gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife. 6. When you see a pretty girl, your pacemaker makes the garage door open. 7. When you have a choice of temptations, you choose the one that gets you home earlier. 8. Dinner and a movie are the whole date, not just the start of one. 9. You’re getting better in bed. You can sleep there for days. 10. Your wife tells you she’s having an affair, and you ask if she’s having it catered. 11. Your sweetie says, “Let’s go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Pick one. I can’t do both.” 12. Your sweetie says, “Would you like some super sex?” and you say, “I’ll take the soup.” (Reprinted with permission.)

Sally Asante

By David Ellison

She is “La Morenita,” the brown lady.

According to Catholic lore, the Virgin Mary first appeared to a peasant in the small town of Guadalupe, Spain, in 1325 AD. She confided to him the location of a long-lost statue, unique in that it portrayed her with a dark face.

In 1531, Mary appeared again on a hill called Tepeyac just outside of Mexico City, this time to a Native named Juan Diego. Speaking to him in his native language, Nahuatl (Aztec), Mary asked him to instruct the bishop to build a church on the spot in her honor. The bishop disbelieved him, and demanded proof, some sort of divine sign.

Juan Diego returned to the bishop carrying roses Mary had given him which he’d protected in his cloak. When he let the roses tumble out, he revealed a miraculous image on the clock—the one featured on this page, replicated throughout Mexico and, in fact, the world. Significantly, her face was once again dark, that of a Native.

The bishop built a chapel to Mary, which is now a large, beautiful basilica. Perhaps not coincidentally, a shrine to a venerated Native goddess, Tonantzin, had been located on the very-same site—a fact that initially worried some clergy. Just whom would the Natives be worshiping? But the image of a brown-skinned Mother Mary proved crucial in their efforts to convert Natives to Catholicism.

Mexican revolutionaries Hidalgo, Morelos, and Zapata used the icon of Our Lady of Guadalupe as well— to lead their predominantly Native troops into battle.

More recently, the Catholic Church declared Juan Diego a saint, and Our Lady to be Patroness of the Americas, Empress of Latin America, and Protectress of Unborn Children. The Philippines made her its patron saint, too.

Our Lady’s significance in Mexican culture cannot be overstated. Author Judy King explained, “The Virgin of Guadalupe is the rubber band that binds this disparate nation into a whole.” Indeed, Mexican novelist Carlos Fuentes insisted, “You cannot truly be considered a Mexican unless you believe in the Virgin of Guadalupe.”

Scholar Jeanette Rodriguez emphasized Our Lady’s radical influence on Catholic faith: “God always chooses the people the world rejects [such as peasants and Natives, the poor and people of color]. The Lady of Guadalupe...offered a different brand of faith. She didn’t say, go to church or say the rosary. She said ‘If you love me, trust me and believe in me, I will respond.’”

Our Lady of Guadalupe’s basilica at Tepeyac, Mexico City, housing Juan Diego’s cloak bearing Mary’s image, has become the most-visited Catholic pilgrimage site in the world.

This is a selection from David Ellison’s book-in-progress, Niños Héroes: The Fascinating Stories Behind Mexican Street Names.

The Magic Of Lakeside Beyond the Razzle-Dazzle

By Don Beaudreau wbeaudreau@aol.com

The early morning was alive with the dancing of clouds and the greening of hills. The rainy season had come to Lakeside! How wonderful! How vibrant!

The rain stopped for the moment, so I took advantage of this to do errands with my car. I just turned onto the carretera when I saw that other Lakesiders decided to be active, too. But not all of them were in vehicles. Some were walking, jogging, or cycling on the bike path that runs alongside our main road. Babies in strollers were pushed while puppies on leashes were pulled. Young lovers strolled hand-in-hand while oldsters shuffled with canes-in-hand. It was an image that symbolized the diversity of our Lakeside community, an ordinary moment to experience at Lakeside these days.

We can give thanks to the newand-improved ciclopista, a gift from the state of Jalisco. But this gift represents more than just an ordinary reality. It adds another element of magic to our community: providing us with a means to connect to others. It brings us together without our having to pay a yearly membership fee; pass a test; recite a creed; sing a song; or audition for a play.

Indeed, our ciclopista is a muchawaited and much-appreciated gift for many of us. As a distance runner for 60 years who became more and more competitive as I got older, I am thrilled by this gift! I know that it can provide not only a sense of increased community, but also give the individual some time to be away from the responsibilities and expectations of others.

So even in my passing car on that cloudy day, I felt connected to all who were moving along that particular path. It was an ecstatic experience for me, one that lifted me out of my sense of self, and connected me to those on that path. In addition, I felt something I felt before, during my many years of running: that I am part of something larger, but then so is everyone else— as is every aspect of nature.

I know that when I run I feel connected to the unifying principle of creation. I am part of the universe and therefore am timeless, without boundaries. And so are you! And all of nature. We are star stuff and will be so again. The exquisite things I have witnessed while running have taught me that we are one with each other and with all nature; we are connected and interdependent.

I have felt this unifying principle when I have run with deer in the spring forests of West Virginia, snakes in the summer grass of Florida, mongrel dogs in the wintry streets of Persia, sea otters on the beaches by the autumnal bays of California. I have moved through morning mists around the parapets of Granada’s Alhambra Palace and through the warming desert air of dawn over the old sector of Jerusalem’s dusty streets. I have communed with ancient rulers and prophets—companion ghosts encircling me, those “Great Companions” spoken of by Whitman. My feet have raced over the frozen sidewalks of Broadway by night, the steamy mid-day streets of New Orleans’ Vieux Carre, the rocky ledges of a secluded Aegean seaport at sunset, the springtime greenery of London’s Hampstead Heath. I have run across San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge, up Honolulu’s Diamondhead, along Chicago’s Lake Michigan, around Washington’s National Monument, along the snow-capped peaks of Colorado’s Rockies, through the bustling noonday streets of a reconstructing East Berlin.

I have dodged cars, trucks, busses, scooters, roller blades, even trains. I have avoided colliding with babies on beaches, adolescent lovers on sidewalks, oldsters on canes. I have had a few nasty falls, and have the scars to prove it. Despite these challenges and others, I have survived and learned a few lessons.

I know that running is not just a physical thing for me. It is my meditation. It is a “running” meditation, rather than a “walking” one spoken of by the Eastern mystics. I guess some of us need to meditate faster than others!

One other thing about my running as a spiritual discipline is that I choose to run alone, although I am not really alone: I observe other people going about their daily tasks. Sometimes they wave at me; sometimes I wave back. In my mind, I connect with people I have known or currently know: the ones I care for the most, and the ones who fill me with anger or sadness or frustration. In this regard, I often take my troubles on the road, and the road becomes my therapist. I talk out my problems—with my feet. So, a large retinue of humanity accompanies me

And oh that hodgepodge of confused thoughts that travel the open road with me! Sometimes they gain clarity when I run. While running, I have written doctoral dissertations in my head and novels; learned obscure languages and created new ones; figured out the meaning of life; devised a plan to eliminate world debt; solved the mystery of the Holy Grail; discovered the fate of Amelia Earhart; and located the whereabouts of the remaining Dead Sea Scrolls. I have accomplished these things and more when I run.

Yes, when I run, a metamorphosis occurs within me. I feel pure, light— so charged by breath that like the title of that novel, my whole being shudders with the terrible lightness of being.

I know I never shall be the great athlete of whom the poet A. E. Houseman speaks. No one shall ever chair me “through the market-place” with all “cheering by” nor bring me “shoulderhigh” nor place a “garland briefer than a girl’s” on this increasingly balding head of mine.

I never will achieve such accolades. I trust I only run to find myself—the deeper me, the one that so easily gets lost in the razzle dazzle of a materialistic existence. I run to rediscover that kid in me who once experienced life as play, who looked up into those cavorting clouds and witnessed angels dancing! I run and become alive again, and feel at times—even during the physical stress of the run—that I am one with all creation.

And then there is joy far beyond what material existence can give me. It is at that moment that I exist at the very edge of the universe, and glimpse the light from distant stars that beckon to me from an existence I am yet to know.

It is then that I resonate with Walt Whitman’s “Open Road” and discover that life is: To know the universe itself as a road—as many roads—as roads for traveling souls.

*****

So you see our Lakeside ciclopista is more than just a way to get from one place to another. It is a bit of magic alongside the shores of our ancient lake that provides a way to deeper connection with today’s Lakeside community, but also invokes the spirits of those we knew and the spirits of those ancient people who once walked these hills, and swam in this lake.

Lakeside! A magical place, indeed!

Carol D. Bradley

Email: cdbradleymex@gmail.com Phone: 33-2506-7525

“ We thank the people who make us happy, they are the lovely gardeners who make our soul blossom. “

Marcel Proust

The Lake Chapala Society hosts Open Circle every Sunday at 10AM, a popular community gathering in Ajijic, to enjoy a diverse range of presentations.

For more information and to make reservations, see their website: opencircleajijic.org.

The presentations will be on the south lawn, close to the gazebo, the entrance will be by the side door on Ramón Corona, chairs will be socially distanced. Gate opens at 9:30.

During this period, we recommend bringing a hat and bottled water, and please remove containers upon departure. Attendance is limited to 80 persons, please make your reservation if you want to attend https://opencircleajijic.org/reservation_form.php

Use of masks and temperature checks on entry is mandatory.

Open Circle Talks for August:

At Press Time, Open Circle have not confirmed content for their August presentations.

Please check with Open Circle’s website (opencircleajijic.org) for added information and updates.

Here are presenter’s names and dates:

August 1 Bea Gallagher

August 8 Dr. Kelly Bennett

August 15 Ellen Sharp

August 22 Hartwig Stein

August 29 Livier Ayon

Lake Chapala Society is offering an important class:

Mexican Banknotes and coins, counterfeit and more.

Description: Through this workshop on Banknotes and Coins in Mexico, we will seek to know in detail and in a practical way the range of currency circulating in the country. We will inform about the denominations, designs and the changes that periodically occur in them. We will focus especially on the design and security features of each bill, in order to learn to become familiar with them, and thus make it easier to recognize whether a bill is valid or counterfeit.

Instructors: Jorge Luis Silva

Course Fee: $100 pesos

Course Dates: Aug 16, 2021

Course Time: Monday, 12:00 to 1:00 pm

Course Location: Ken Gosh Pavillion

Min/Max Students required: 6/15

Note: These programs are limited to LCS members only. Membership must be active to enroll and must remain active for the duration of each class. Lake Chapala Society is offering two Concerts in the Park in August: See the following posters for details:

Lakeside Little Theatre: Ajijic Readers Theatre (ART) - Performance

MATCH, by Stephen Belber, directed by Harry McFadden – Dramatic Comedy

Show Dates: August 20, 21, 22, 2021, 4:00 pm, Angel Terrace, limited, spaced seating.

Tickets 150 pesos, available online at www.lakesidelittletheatre. com, Wednesday and Thursday during the week before opening, or at the Box Office one hour before the show.

Tobi, inspired by Alphonse Poulin, a professor of ballet at Juilliard School, is an aging dancer, choreographer and teacher who enjoys knitting. His quiet life is interrupted when Mike and Lisa enter his home under the pretense of interviewing him for Lisa’s thesis.

Notice: Strong language, adult content

Lakeside Little Theatre: Season 57 MainStage - Auditions

THE MADRES, by Stephanie Alison Walker, directed by Dave McIntosh

Auditions: Thursday & Friday, September 2nd & 3rd, 2021, 10:00 am (Registration 9:30) at LLT

Show Dates: November 5 - 14, 2021

At its core, The Madres is about the strength and resilience of women. We get a glimpse inside one Argentinian home touched by the brutality of the regime in the late 70’s. Powerful, heartbreaking, tragically real.

The show needs 2 men and 3 women.

Email Dave at auditionsMS@lakesidelittletheatre.com for scripts and more information.

el gato feo café & roastery is back in business! They are in a new location (just down from Lake Chapala Society)

Amanda and her crew love writers! They will be hosting local author’s published readings again, starting on August 4th at 4PM.

There will be three readers and they will have books to sign for you to buy.

August 4th authors are: Mel Goldberg Juan Sacclli And featured author Zofia Barisas

Come and enjoy the new ambiance, live music and, of course the coffees and treats of el gato feo.

The readings will be held in the sala of the Estrella B&B, on ground level.

Contact Carol Bradley at cdbradleymex@gmail.com for more information.

SCRABBLE COMES TO LAKESIDE!

The inaugural meeting of Chapala Scrabblers was held at the American Legion on July 19th .

Helen Frankenthal is the organizer and is on Facebook at Chapala Scrabblers. Like her page for the next meetings and updates.

Good luck with this fabulous endeavour Helen!

CALLING ALL WRITERS!

The Ajijic Writers Group has reconvened after more than a year away due to Covid.

The group has been meeting for over 30 years. They meet in the beautiful garden with a view of Lake Chapala at La Nueva Posada: Donato Guerra 9, 45920 Ajijic, Jal.

Come and enjoy the readings, read your original work in progress and stay for lunch in the lovely setting.

The Group is open to all writers, regardless of skill level. A pre-sign-up is required for readings. Feedback will be given for all of us to become better writers. Contact VictoriaASchmidt@gmail.com to get on the email list for all things Ajijic Writers Group.