Chicken Fried News

Illustrations by Jerry Bennett Who ever would have thought that an electric vehicle company whose prototype looked like a smaller, boring version of the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile would have trouble getting off the ground … errrrr … onto the road?

“Electric vehicle start-up Canoo reported first-quarter losses of $125.4 million this week while casting “substantial doubt” on its ability to move forward as a company in Oklahoma and Arkansas,” the Tulsa World reported. “‘Our business plans require a significant amount of capital,’ Canoo wrote in a regulatory filing to the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. ‘If we are unable to obtain sufficient funding or do not have access to capital, we will be unable to execute our business plans and could be required to terminate or significantly curtail our operations and our prospects, financial condition and results of operations could be materially adversely affected.’”

It’s unclear what the future will ultimately hold for the company, which has an operation in Pryor. However, it’s completely clear what the shortterm prognosis is for the future of Tesla in the state — there isn’t one.

To be fair, Kevin’s fawning over Musk and Tesla was the second-most embarrassing display of sycophantism over the electric vehicle company CEO.

The top honor goes to the makeover of Tulsa’s Golden Driller statue that replaced “Tulsa” with “Tesla” on its belt and emblazoned the company logo on its chest.They even crafted a cringeworthy mask that supposedly looked like the company’s CEO.

The question remaining now is, will all the pandering be enough to bring Panasonic?

According to Kevin, “Oklahoma is at the one-yard-line of securing a multi-billion dollar investment that will make a generational impact for our state,” he wrote on

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The site is reportedly being chosen as a partner for Tesla’s plant, which ultimately chose Austin as its production site.

Being at the one-yard line doesn’t equate to a touchdown and Kevin was done worse with more. If Panasonic picks Kansas over Oklahoma, the Republicans ought to take a look at their own roster because it won’t be the opposing team who fumbled this one.

Up until the state’s proposed bill banning abortion at conception, it was going to be a tough choice as to the worst law the legislature had passed this session.

There’s nothing funny about House Bill 4327, authored by Rep. Wendi Stearman, R-Collinsville, that Stitt is expected to sign. It should also be noted here that even Fox News disagrees with Kevin’s assessment of the number of Oklahomans who favor banning abortion, with 50 percent of respondents favoring a ban after six weeks with that percentage rising to 54 percent after six weeks.That’s close to an even split even according to a poll conducted by one of the most conservative media companies in the country.

But facts have never stopped Kevin and he’s not starting now, referring to Oklahoma’s sovereign tribes as “super liberal” and stammering when confronted with a Pew Research Center poll from 2014 that found about the same thing Fox did years later.

“Well, some of those, uh, your, uh, some of those different facts or those newspapers that you’re quoting are not what we find with the people in Oklahoma,” Kevin so eloquently retorted.

Yeah, that’s what happens when you only talk to people who pay you, stupid.

Anyway, on to the laugh so we don’t cry portion of CFN. Here are a look at two of the other moronic laws your legislature has proposed or foisted upon you this session:

Senate Bill 1100 means birth certificates will have to remain with male or female markers only. Nonbinary designations are strictly prohibited. This was a hot issue amongst babies fresh from the womb in recent years, so it’s a good thing the Republicans showed them who was in charge from the get-go.

Senate Bill 1470, also known as the “Students’ Religious Belief Protection Act,” would allow for lawsuits to the tune of $10,000 “when a public school promotes positions in opposition to closely held religious beliefs of the student,” whatever that means. Oh, and that money has to come out of those hefty teacher salaries they receive. Noncompliance may result in a permanent ban on teaching in the state. It’s kind of unbelievable that there’s a teacher shortage or that profitable companies keep flying over the state with their opportunities, huh?

Fortunately, the regular legislative session is ending, which means those of us who don’t always breathe through our mouths can sigh in relief until they strike again.

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