Early Development Network

SHARING IS CARING

For little ones, giving season offers lessons on taking turns

SPECIAL FOR EARLY DEVELOPMENT NETWORK

‘Tis the season of giving, although your child may be having difficulty doing just that.

Sharing is a critical aspect of play for little ones. It may seem like a daunting task. However, helping little ones learn to share can teach emotional regulation and build stronger relationships in the future.

While your 1- or 2-year-old may not understand sharing yet, you can still begin to demonstrate for your child when it is appropriate to share. Practicing sharing with your child is important as you are their first teacher, and they learn best from you.

Sharing can be a frustrating process for not only you, but also your child. Even as adults we struggle to share. Try to see these moments of struggle and big emotions as an opportunity to teach your child compassion and problem-solving.

SHARING TAKES PRACTICE

Most children do not fully understand the concept of sharing until age 3 or 4. At home, you can begin by reading books about sharing to your child, giving them a framework for what this can look like. Modeling sharing is a great way to integrate practice into your daily life.

If you are having a snack, offer them a bite. When your child offers to share with you, let them know you notice by saying “Thank you for sharing with me,” or “It makes me happy when you share with me.”

Around ages 3 and 4, you can start practicing taking turns, encouraging problem-solving and reflecting on the big feelings that come with.

TAKING TURNS

Taking turns is a way of sharing that can teach children about the “back and forth” concept that is necessary for not only sharing items, but also a foundation of back-and-forth communication. These communication skills develop qualities such as empathy and self-esteem in our little ones.

Taking turns is the reality of how adults share and can be a more relatable way for our little ones to learn as well. Timers, especially visual ones, are a great way to facilitate taking turns. This will help them realize they will get that object back, and it is not gone forever.

TACKLING FEELINGS

While children are waiting for their turn, be sure to support them through the big emotions that they may experience. When big feelings occur, remember one thing: stay calm!

Once your child has calmed down, you can use this time to coach them for the next time it is not their turn by helping them identify those big emotions and what they can do to talk about those feelings next time.

Using phrases such as, “I see that you’re upset. It’s OK to be upset sometimes,” can help children identify emotions and validate their feelings in that situation. Encourage children on what they can do next time, “Next time when you want something your friend has, let’s ask, ‘May I have a turn?’”

Keep in mind that oftentimes when it comes to taking turns and sharing, you are talking about your little ones’ prized possessions, and there are times when it’s OK not to share.

SHARING THROUGH PLAY

Finally, a fantastic way to teach your child to consider those around them is through play. Our little ones are incredibly creative and will never fail to surprise you with the great pretend play ideas they come up with.

Asking them things like “We only have one train toy and we both want to play with it, what should we do?” will empower your child to be creative in sharing and problem-solving.

The more we encourage our children to be compassionate problem-solvers, the more likely they are to become just that.

It’s never too early to ask questions about your child’s development. Take advantage of free early intervention services through your school district. Call 402-597-4936 or visit our website at omahaedn.esu3.org.