DESCRIPTIVE WRITING PORTFOLIO BY OMKAR DASGUPTA
PASSAGES
Passage 1 The Great Gatsby , chapter 3 page number 41 THERE was music from my neighbor's house through the summer nights. In his blue gardens men and girls came and went like moths among the whisperings and the champagne and the stars. At high tide in the afternoon I watched his guests diving from the tower of his raft, or taking the sun on the hot sand of his beach while his two motorboats slit the waters of the Sound, drawing aquaplanes over cataracts of foam. On weekends his RollsRoyce became an omnibus, bearing parties to and from the city between nine in the morning and long past midnight, while his station wagon scampered like a brisk yellow bug to meet all trains. And on Mondays eight servants, including an extra gardener, toiled all day with mops and scrubbingbrushes and hammers and gardenshears, repairing the ravages of the night before. Every Friday five crates of oranges and lemons arrived from a fruiterer in New Yorkevery Monday these same oranges and lemons left his back door in a pyramid of pulpless halves. There was a machine in the kitchen which could extract the juice of two hundred oranges in half an hour if a little button was pressed two hundred times by a butler's thumb. At least once a fortnight a corps of caterers came down with several hundred feet of canvas and enough colored lights to make a Christmas tree of Gatsby's enormous garden. On buffet tables, garnished with glistening , spiced baked hams crowded against salads of harlequin designs and pastry pigs and turkeys bewitched to a dark gold. In the main hall a bar with a real brass rail was set up, and stocked with gins and liquors and with cordials so long forgotten that most of his female guests were too young to know one from another
What is the subject of description
The subject of the description is Mr . Gatsby’s party and how his mansion is decorated and the propaganda
What are the aspects of the subject
The aspects of the subject are the crowd in the party and how the people are attracted to huge parties , the beauty and elegance of Gatsby’s parties and the excitement and
curiousness in people minds for his parties where the would get free food and luxuries How does it impact on the way the reader sees the The writer describes the surrounding as a subject in their imagination very lively , where people are going crazzy dancing and drinking on champagne and other types of alcohol . The image that he creates about his house is that , its huge as a castle , with a retro english construction to it ,covered with lights all around , music playing and everybody partying . What images does the author use throughout the The images that the author uses in the piece passage above is “summer nights” , which gives the reader a feeling an image of summer nights which are humid and hot , “men and girls came and went like moths” the image which comes to the mind is that the people coming and going continuously in their cars and vehicles aimlessly like moths . “scrubbingbrushes and hammers and gardenshears, repairing the ravages of the night before” the image formed is that , after the party Gatsby’s workers use to clean the area , repair things which were broken or dismantled. “enormous garden” The image formed is a huge garden , with a brilliant variety of flowers and plantations with delicious fruits and huge trees What is the dominant impression
The dominant impression which the writer creates is the the party ,the decoration and the propaganda ,
What unique observations has the author made
The unique observations that the author has made are that the people coming to his party are just people who just want free food and entertainment , they just want to use the luxuries and the exquisite hospitality
Strong words and vocabulary
“scampered” , “garnished” , “glistening”
Senses used
visual
Analysis The narrator ( Nick Caraway) heard some music from the neighbor's house , that was from Mr Gatsby's house , he assumed that some party was on. "In the blue gardens men and girls came and went like moths" by this the author wants to say that the imagery shown about the moth is that , the moth are unintelligent animals , roaming around aimlessly without any aim, hence he has showed the men and girls as moths roaming aimlessly and getting attracted to Gatsby's party like the moth to the light ."At high tide in the afternoon I watched his guests diving from the tower of his raft, or taking the sun on the hot sand of his beach while his two motorboats slit the waters of the Sound, drawing aquaplanes over cataracts of foam" by this the author wants to say that the guests in Gatsby's parties just used his luxuries and had fun . The people from east egg use to gossip about Gatsby and are jealous that he a owns so much wealth , but the lavishness of the party is what attracts the them and the attend it . The guests used to party all night and in the morning use to lay drunk and fall of his raft , some use to be lying on his beach to enjoy the sun."On weekends his RollsRoyce became an omnibus, bearing parties to and from the city between nine in the morning and long past midnight" On weekends , his RollsRoyce use to be like a public transport , which use to carry and drop people from nine in the morning till midnight .Every friday 5 crates of lemons and oranges arrived from new york and on monday they would leave as a huge pyramid without any pulp . "On buffet tables, garnished with glistening , spiced baked hams crowded against salads of harlequin designs and pastry pigs and turkeys bewitched to a dark gold"by this the author says that , during the party there was huge amounts of lavish eateries were prepared , with throat burning liquor in the bars , the party went on 7 days a week , 24 hours a day.
Passage 2 To kill a mockingbird , chapter 1 "Maycomb was an old town, but it was a tired old town when I first knew it. In rainy weather the streets turned to red slop; grass grew on the sidewalks, the courthouse sagged in the square. Somehow, it was hotter then: a black dog suffered on a summer's day; bony mules hitched to Hoover carts flicked flies in the sweltering shade of the live oaks on the square. Men's stiff collars wilted by nine in the morning. Ladies bathed before noon, after their threeo'clock naps, and by nightfall were like soft teacakes with frostings of sweat and sweet talcum."
What is the subject of description
The main subject of the passage is the the description of the town “maycomb” which is slow , not constructed well and not economically successful and the narrator is recollecting the past when she first visited it
What are the aspects of the subject
The aspects that the author uses is that she recollects Maycomb as it was in her childhood , the town is old and and not cleaned , grass on footpaths , the court houses sagged , people are old fashioned and fashionably handicapped
How does it impact on the way the reader sees the The writer describes the surrounding as subject in their imagination very dull and monotonous , very the buildings are sagging and not properly constructed , people are very old fashioned clothes , like men wore collar shirts and women put talcum powder What images does the author use throughout the The images that the author uses is “tired old piece town” , by this the image created in the readers mind is that Maycomb is a city which is lacking behind and needs to be build up and constructed , by tired the reader can also interpret that the people living in the town have no purpose left and the excitement in their life is over. “Somehow, it was hotter then:” the image that is created is that the author recollects the heat of the summer when she was young , she describes it by recollecting a black dog suffering the heat, mules taking rest in there oak sheds. What is the dominant impression
The dominant impression is that the writer returning to Maycomb and reminiscing
What unique observations has the author made Strong words and vocabulary
“hitched” , “frostings” , “sagged”
Senses used
visual
Analysis "Maycomb was an old town , but it was a tired old town when i first knew it" By this the author wants to say that the town worked in a slow pace with people living in old fashioned values in the town , in which the women use to make themselves fragrant by talcum powder and the men wore shirt with a collar and the roads are not paved and constructed properly . This description situates Maycomb in the reader’s mind as a sleepy Southern town; Scout even calls it “tired.” It also situates Scout with respect to the narrative: she writes of the time when she “first knew” Maycomb, indicating that she embarks upon this recollection of her childhood much later in life, as an adult.
Passage 3 The lord of the flies Jack was bent double. He was down like a sprinter, his nose only a few inches from the humid earth. The tree trunks and the creepers that festooned them lost them selves in a green dusk thirty feet above him, and all about was the undergrowth. There was only the faintest indica tion of a trail here; a cracked twig and what might be the impression of one side of a hoof. He lowered his chin and stared at the traces as though he would force them to speak to him. Then doglike, uncomfortably on all fours yet un heeding his discomfort, he stole forward five yards and stopped. Here was loop of creeper with a tendril pendant from a node. The tendril was polished on the underside; pigs, passing through the loop, brushed it with their bristly hide. Jack crouched with his face a few inches away from this clue, then stared forward into the semidarkness of the undergrowth. His sandy hair, considerably longer than it had been when they dropped in, was lighter now; and his bare back was a mass of dark freckles and peeling sun burn. A sharpened stick about five feet long trailed from
his right hand, and except for a pair of tattered shorts held up by his knifebelt he was naked. He closed his eyes, raised his head and breathed in gently with flared nostrils, assessing the current of warm air for information. The forest and he were very still. What is the subject of description
The subject of description is jack turning into more of a savage and hunting for pigs
What are the aspects of the subject
The aspects of the subject is jack hunting for pigs in the island and he in that addiction of hunting pigs has turned into a savage and wants to hunt as soon as possible so that he can bring food for himself and for others
How does it impact on the way the reader sees the The reader sees the image of jack bending subject in their imagination down like a dog in search for a pig to hunt and he looking for indications . The second image formed is he holding a stick bending and smelling the droppings of the pig , which can give him some clue of where the pig is . From human he was changing into a savage with torn clothes and a spear like stick in his hand ready to hunt What images does the author use throughout the “bent double” by this the image formed is piece jack bending in an uncomfortable position and searching for clues to find the pigs. “stared at the traces as though he would force them to speak to him” by this the author wants to create a picture saying that jack was so eager to catch a pig that he wanted the evidences to talk to him and tell him where the pigs had gone . “sandy hair” By this the image formed is that , his body is dirty and filthy , he has not taken a bath for a long time . What is the dominant impression
The dominant impression is jack , who is turning into much of a savage and wildness and his drifting away from human ways of behaviour
What unique observations has the author made Strong words and vocabulary
“festooned” , “dog like” , “freckles”
Senses used
visual , smell
Analysis Jacks personality at the start was serene and tranquil , but in this passage , Jack tranforms from a serene person to a tribal like person. At the the start of the passage , Jack is bending like sprinter, by sprinter the author wants to explain that , he was sitting in a posture in which the runners or the atheletes sit just before the race is going to begin. This posture also shows that he is concentrating on something and is impatient to accomplish it. While he was bending he saw a broken twig, hence he assumed that a pig ran over it . He in return wants to force the evidence to talk to him. By force the author meant that , Jack who is so eager and greedy to catch the pig , that he wants the evidence to direct him the way the pig went. "Then dog like ,uncomfertably on all fours yet unheeding his discomfort" by dog like the authors is saying that , Jack is turning into more like an animal , he is not hunting like normal human beings , hes hunting down animals weaker than him , like other animals.He did not hunt for the aparent perpose of gaining food to eat , but for personal enjoyment and to feed his obsession of killing. He crouches toward the evidence to look for the pig, while doing this his back is exposed , which is covered with frickles and sunburns. This shows that he doesn't take care of his skin and does not keep himself clean and tidy. Golding points that Jack has a pointed stick in his hand, which is an obvious symbol of his offensive brutality.This is how the language used in this passage is used to develope jacks charecter.
Passage 4 Lord of the flies “Sam huh? Sam ! Sam! Sam looked at Eric irritably . The intensity of Eric’s glaze made the direction in which he looked
terrible , for Sam had his back to it . He scrambled around the fire , squatted by Eric, and looked to see . they became motionless . gripped in eachothers arms , four unwinking eyes aimed and two mouths open . Far beneath them , the trees of the forest sighed , then roared . The hair on their foreheads fluttered and flames blew out sideways from the fire . Fifteen yards away from them came the popping noise of fabric blown open. Neither of the boys screamed but the grip of their arms tightened and their their mouths grew peaked”
What is the subject of description
The subject of description is the dead parachutist and the fear of the boys after seeing it and interpreting it as the beast
What are the aspects of the subject
The aspect of the subject is the parachutist falling down dead while the battle ,Eric and Sam waking up to brighten the fire and they see the dead body interpreting it as a beast
How does it impact on the way the reader sees the The reader sees the parachutist landing subject in their imagination towards the cliff , with its parachute flapping . The boys waking up and getting terrified after seeing the parachutist and looking amazed . The parachutist lying dead near the rocks with its parachute covering the body partially What images does the author use throughout the “motionless” by this word the author piece creates an image of amazement and consternation of the boys . “popping” by this the image formed is the flapping of the parachute due to the strong wind on the cliff What is the dominant impression
The dominant impression is the parachutist landing on the ground with Sam and Eric getting scared taking it as the beast
What unique observations has the author made Strong words and vocabulary
“popping” , “scrambled” ,
Senses used
fear , visual , sound
Analysis
This is the part of the novel when Sam and Eric are at the top of the cave and have the duty of watching the signal fire , but unfortunately the fall asleep . Military airplanes battle fiercely above the island ,During the battle, a parachutist drifts down from the sky onto the island, dead. His chute becomes tangled in some rocks and flaps in the wind, while his shape casts fearful shadows on the ground. When Sam and Eric wake up in order to make the flame brighter they see the parachutist and mistake it for the beast . “they became motionless” By this the author wants to show how scared Sam and Eric were after seeing the dead parachutist which according to them was a beast . They could not react to the situation as it was so sudden for them . “four unwinking eyes aimed and two mouths open” By this the author wants to say that the boys were so amazed after seeing the dead parachutist that they had their mouths open in amazement . As it was night time , the surrounding was windy , which made them more terrified . “Fifteen yards away from them came the popping noise of fabric blown open” Fifteen yards from where the boys stood laid the dead body of the parachutist scaring the boys till their limit .
CHANGE ASPECT PASSAGE 1 “Sam huh? Sam ! Sam! Sam looked at Eric irritably . The intensity of Eric’s glaze made the direction in which he looked terrible , for Sam had his back to it . He scrambled around the fire , squatted by Eric, and looked to see . they became motionless . gripped in eachothers arms , four unwinking eyes aimed and two mouths open . Far beneath them , the trees of the forest sighed , then roared . The hair on their foreheads fluttered and flames blew out sideways from the fire . Fifteen yards away from them came the popping noise of fabric blown open. Neither of the boys screamed but the grip of their arms tightened and their their mouths grew peaked”
CHANGED: Its morning time , jack and the choirboys have gone for hunting . Ralph , Simon and the littluns were on the beach trying to build shelters , the day was bright and there was the soothing smell of the beach sand which refreshed the senses . The littluns hungry as a starved lion were plucking fruits from the tree . Sam and Eric had their share and were playing in the glowing sea water .
Suddenly Sam and Eric see a dead body of a parachutist landing down towards the beach like a dead bird . The body landed in the jungle next to the lagoon , the boy ran towards it while it was falling down like , the kids thought it was a huge kite and were excited . They found it and started circling around it and started singing around it . The kids were thrilled as they saw something like this for the first time . The body was tall, about 6 feet , its nose popped out like an arrow and his cheeks were chubby . The littluns thought it was kind of a doll and started playing with it and used the parachute as a cape.
PASSAGE 2 THERE was music from my neighbor's house through the summer nights. In his blue gardens men and girls came and went like moths among the whisperings and the champagne and the stars. At high tide in the afternoon I watched his guests diving from the tower of his raft, or taking the sun on the hot sand of his beach while his two motorboats slit the waters of the Sound, drawing aquaplanes over cataracts of foam. On weekends his RollsRoyce became an omnibus, bearing parties to and from the city between nine in the morning and long past midnight, while his station wagon scampered like a brisk yellow bug to meet all trains. And on Mondays eight servants, including an extra gardener, toiled all day with mops and scrubbingbrushes and hammers and gardenshears, repairing the ravages of the night before. Every Friday five crates of oranges and lemons arrived from a fruiterer in New Yorkevery Monday these same oranges and lemons left his back door in a pyramid of pulpless halves. There was a machine in the kitchen which could extract the juice of two hundred oranges in half an hour if a little button was pressed two hundred times by a butler's thumb. At least once a fortnight a corps of caterers came down with several hundred feet of canvas and enough colored lights to make a Christmas tree of Gatsby's enormous garden. On buffet tables, garnished with glistening , spiced baked hams crowded against salads of harlequin designs and pastry pigs and turkeys bewitched to a dark gold. In the main hall a bar with a real brass rail was
CHANGED: It was pouring cats and dogs , nothing was visible . Nick carraway sitting in his balcony drinking some piping hot tea and gazing at Gatsby’s house . His huge elaborate mansion was covered with the piercing drops of the heavy rain. The huge parties which use to keep his mansion glowing were absent that rainy day . The preparations arranged for the astonishing party that night was washed
away . The garden and the mansion looked like a deserted island with not a single inhabitant , except gatsby in the study lookin a nick through the window. The silence of that house , like a silent cinema , looked like life never existed there and there were no parties that took place in that mansion , in the past. The lights were off , the champagne was kept back in the fridge , the musicians were given leave ,the butlers had no other job other than cleaning the mansion and his wagon and rolls royce was parked in the garage . That day the lively ness and the charm of that place was not there . There were no men and women coming and going like moths , the only thing coming and going was the wind with high velocity , drifting through the grass and trees.
RATIONALE PASSAGE 1 I chose to change the time of the day to morning , because Sam and Eric had interpreted the parachutist to be the beast in the dark and got terrified , hence i thought if the same situation would take place in day time , the kids would find it amusing , exciting and thrilling and there terror of the beast may vanish. In the island everyone was terrified of the so called beast hence i decided to change the time so that the fear would vanish . How did it affect the dominant impression ? The dominant impression in the passage was the night , due to which the boys misinterpreted the parachutist to the beast , hence I changed the dominant impression by changing the time of the day to morning , hence the fear which they had was vanished . I used the words such as “soothes” , “refreshes” , which are inclined towards a bright and a beautiful day , rather than a scary night The aspect i changed ? The aspect which I changed was the time of the day , the original passage was in the night , so I changed it to morning time . Sam and Eric were scared of the parachutist as it was dark , hence i thought if it would be the day time , then there sense of fear would not exist. What are the impacts of the changes? The changes on which I have focussed on are mainly the time of the day , from the night time to morning , which has effected in the behaviour or their reaction of the boys after seeing the parachutist
PASSAGE 2 Gatsby’s house use to be filled with people due to his exotic parties , people use take advantage of his luxuries and hence attend them too . Elaborate decorations , with music , champagne , dance performances etc . I decided to change the weather and make it a rainy day , hence there was no party that day , all the preparations were washed away and all was left was the huge deserted mansion .I used the word deserted because the house except those parties were empty and the only person who used to stay there was Gatsby . The glow and the happiness of the house disappeared as the raindrops met the concrete floor How did it affect the dominant impression? The dominant impression of the original passage is the party and the propaganda . So to change it , I made changes in the weather , I made it a rainy day , hence the party was hampered and the preparations that were made washed away . Due to the rain no one attended the party and the house looked barren . What aspect I changed? The aspect i changed was the weather , by changing the weather to a rainy day , the dominant impression was completely changed , in a normal night , the house would be filled with people coming and going , elaborate decoration all around , making the mansion look like a bride , but during rain everything looked vast and empty like a dessert What are the impact of the changes ? The impact of the changes were that the charm and the glow of the mansion was lost due to the rain and the mansion looked barren and empty , the propaganda was hampered .