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September 2010
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e might not know much about Karl Hakkarainen, but the writer/blogger sounds like he has taken a fair share of vacations in his lifetime. Here’s his take: ”No vacation goes unpunished” he says. That kind of insight could only come from someone who knows the pleasure and the pain, the thrills and the spills that come with vacations. All of us, at some time or the other have spent all our time before our vacations revving to go, bouncing with excitement and joy at the thought of the 'x' number of days or weeks we intend to spend away from our humdrum routine. A few weeks down the line, back home from vacation we wish we’d never gone at all, or our moods are so low that it would have been better to have stayed put and continued with our monotonous lives. Freshly back from vacation, I can definitely say that I am on the verge of plunging head long into what psychologists officially call Post Vacation Blues or Post Travel Depression (PTD). The planners among us usually plan our holidays down to the very last snack we buy at the airport before boarding our flight back home. But we rarely prepare for the feelings of sadness, regret and sometimes even loss, that we experience once we get home. As expatriate workers, if we have been to our home countries on holiday we miss our families and friends, we regret all the weight we have put on by indulging in all that delicious food, we regret those impulse purchases we made that have thrown our carefully planned finances completely out of sync and we dread the thought of getting back in routine, unpacking and settling down into our ’normal’ lives. Psychologists have this to say about the post vacation blues (or just vacation blues) or less commonly, PTD. ”It is a type of mood that persons returning home from a long trip (usually a vacation) may experience.” They go on to explain that, in general a person may suffer from post vacation blues after returning home or to a normal routine from a long holiday, especially if it was a pleasurable one. The longer the trip, the more intense the blues, they say. Post vacation blues may also result in tiredness, loss of appetite, strong feelings of nostalgia, and in some cases, depression. Another observation made is that jet lag may intensify in persons suffering with post vacation blues. When it comes to that dream vacation you planned at that out-of-this-world location, you undertake weeks of preparation followed by a nerve wracking blastoff, followed by a number of days or weeks of weightless floating around out there with nothing to hold you down. This is followed by the harrowing re-entry into your ’normal atmosphere’ where the force of everyday life pulls you down to earth with a thud like the force of gravity. Here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to be that way! With a little extra planning before your vacation you can ensure that your return is less traumatic than it generally is. There are two sets of tips to help ease those post vacation blues. One set deals with your physical re-entry into normalcy and the other is to do with emotional re-entry. I have learned from experience that following these steps do really help the blues upon returning from holiday.
Tips to ease physical return * Clean before you leave
I know it’s hard to find the time with all the pre-vacation excitement and rush, but if you can clean up your home before you leave, it will definitely help your state of mind when you return. Clean and mop the floors. Change bed linen, make up your bed and then cover it with dust covers. This way all you do is strip the cov-
Here’s the good news: With a little extra planning before your vacation you can ensure that your return is less traumatic than it generally is.
er off and you have a neatly made bed with fresh sheets on your return. Place air-freshners around the house to fight the musty smell of a closed up house. If you do switch your air-conditioners off before leaving, organise for a friend to drop by and switch them back on 24 hours before your return. All this helps your state of mind when you walk in through the door. You don’t look around and think “HELP!!! I need to start cleaning right away!”
* Organise meals for at least the first day home If you are as lucky as I am, you may have friends who are willing to stock your refrigerator with cooked meals to last you two days after your return, but if your friends don’t cook, then cook and freeze some food before you leave, enough to tide you over at least the first 24 hours. Alternatively, you can have take-out food on the first day, this gives you time to get your act together before you turn on the stove and crank up the oven and gives you time to get your groceries.
* Cut your vacation short This isn’t as drastic as it sounds. What I mean is, cut down your vacation by one or two days at the most, so that you don’t need to go back to the office the day after you get back home. Let your system readjust, get over the possible jet-lag, hang loose and unwind before you go back to your workplace. Maybe ease yourself into routine by checking your email on your return and deleting the unnecessary and lining up the mails you need to pay attention to once back at your desk. Since this can be done at leisure but still has to do with work, it will help your mind gradually acclimatise to dealing with work. As tempting as it is, don’t stretch your vacation out until the last possible moment, returning just the evening before you are due back at your desk or the kids are due back in school. I have found there is nothing like going back to work or school while suffering from jet-lag, to bring on the vacation blues.
* Leave some money behind This sounds a little strange but it’s practical. You do need to pay the delivery guy when he delivers that pizza, don’t you? Leave some cash in your drawer at home. This gives you time to change your currency and it reduces the chance of you using your already exhausted credit card once again. Empty pockets and maxed out credit cards have been found to be great contributors to the post vacation blues. So coming home to some cash in the drawer helps. It has been advised against leaving it in the bank, because not only does that mean making a trip to the ATM on the way home from the airport, but in this day and age of automated banking 2010 September
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The peak moments of your vacation were critically important parts of your life and reflect how you live your life even when not on vacation. y o u are likely to have used up what’s in the bank during your holiday.
lamenting, rejoice that you saw what they are capable of being like and try and recreate instances when they can behave like that even at home.
* Talk about your vacation and share experiences Get friends and family together and talk about your holiday. You are sure to have come back with piles of interesting stories and anecdotes, so share them. Make up a photo album, and share it with others. Show them the various things you did on your holiday. Encourage them to take a trip to the same place, and share details and tips with them.
* Integrate new experiences into your everyday life
Did you learn a new language while on vacation? Continue to use it. Did you try new foods? Try and recreate dishes at home. If culinary expertise isn’t your thing then try and find a restaurant that serves that type of food and visit it.
* Unpack at leisure When packing to return put all the stuff you will need immediately i.e. toiletries, make-up, baby feeding items, favorite toys etc, in one bag so that you have easy access to them, put any dirty laundry into laundry bags and pack them in there too. This way you need to unpack only one bag on the day you arrive. You can take your time and unpack the rest of the bags slowly. You can even do a bag a day. That way your home doesn’t look like a tornado has struck it with clothes, shoes, toys, gifts etc strewn all over the place.
Tips To Ease Emotional Return * Appreciate what was
It requires a bit of a cognitive shift, but it is really possible to appreciate the wonderful things from your vacation and yet, not let it get you down. Try and understand that those peak moments of your vacation were critically important parts of your life and reflect how you live your life even when not on vacation. If you had a really great time with old friends and family, appreciate the fact that even though you live away from them, the old ties still remain. If you made a holiday trip to a foreign country appreciate the fact that you could afford to do it.
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* Use memories as a stress reliever When you need to unwind and de-stress, try and conjure up memories (the happy ones) of your vacation. Psychology Today says, “Studies in neuroscience have shown that merely by mentally picturing yourself where you felt good yields a salubrious effect. Imagery, when knowingly used to get yourself in a pleasant mind state (but not to indulge in negativity or resentment for your current locale and its philistine inhabitants), can propel you to heights of good feeling and smooth over frayed edges of anxiety and distress.” So indulge in memories and make yourself feel good.
* Use the derealisation effect to enhance how you look at others Derealisation effect refers to that sort of ’unreal’ feeling you get while on holiday. Everyone and everything seems dreamlike and fantastic. Once back in your normal life, these very people might seem less exciting and quite boring. You might find yourself yearning for that attentive relaxed spouse, or you might find yourself wondering where those well behaved kids suddenly vanished to. The fact is that like you, they were also relaxed on vacation, back at home the same stressors that affect you affect them. Instead of
* Use new feelings or expe riences as an impetus for change A change of scenery even for a short time can be a mind broadening experience. Now that you are relaxed and re-energised use these feelings to makes positive changes in your life. Your mind is likely to be clearer, letting you think things out better. So after vacation is possibly the best time to make big decisions.
* Take a closer look at the life you lead now Very often after vacation our normal life seems so boring in comparison. But take a closer look. Being able to accept the value of what you do have becomes much easier when you bring some of your comparisons down to earth and recognise that you really cannot have it all – at least not all at once or in one particular place. Vacations are meant to be times of relaxation and enjoyment, so what is the point of taking one if, once you get back you are going to be more stressed out than before? Try and ease yourself back into normal life and follow the tips of re-entry and you will hopefully experience a smooth, turbulence-free landing into ordinary life...until you return again to your favourite ‘other’ place