work
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What is
Success to you
Is success defined by the amount of wealth we amass or is it using opportunities to the best? In her new session, Caroline Zeitler, defines what success is all about...
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One definition of success is...
... that you have opportunities to utilise your talents, your skills, your knowledge and your intelligence.
I
was lucky because I grew up in a family with many amazing women role models. There was my greatgrandmother, a true matriarch, the head of the family, who was very strict and held the family to the highest standard, yet she would also gather everyone around her to tell stories and find time to listen to everybody’s woes and worries. Although she passed away many years ago, she still lives on as the authority that influences a lot of my family’s decisions. ‘What would Granny have done?’ is a frequently asked question. There was my grandmother, a femme fatale who made great sacrifices to go her own way, to pursue the path less travelled, always turned out impeccably, an air of natural elegance about her. There was my great-aunt, single head of a household of four kids, two dogs and three cats, while running a boarding kennel for cats and dogs on her little farm. She had no maids, no driver, not even a car. Yet she always had a smile and an open ear for us when we came to visit. And then of course there is my mother. A sports ace, a rebel and a woman ahead of her time, endlessly resourceful in finding ways around the limitations that society (in the 50s and 60s!) and life tried to impose on her. Even when, at only 35, she got a brain tumour and has consequently been disabled ever since (the effect was very similar to that of a stroke), she picked herself up, learned many things over again and has now got her disability
so much under control that most people don’t realise and are genuinely surprised when they find out about it. So I guess it is only natural that I have always felt drawn towards strong women and consequently have many friends that are just as fascinating as my relatives. In my eyes all of these women are extremely successful. They are successful at living a life worth living. They are successful at pursuing their dreams, living according to their values, being honest, teaching by example, liberating other women around them, raising amazing families and new generations of inspiring
Key behaviours: Attitude: Rather than saying “Poor me, poor me” say, “It’s up to me to change what I’m not happy with.”
Interaction: Listening to the people around you and to your gut feeling. Asking friends and family about your strengths and talents, as well as reflecting on them yourself.
Flow: See how your strengths fit into the bigger picture. What is needed in your ‘system’ (i.e. your work place, your family, your town...etc.)? How can you, with your strengths and talents, provide something that is needed and wanted?
women (and men). Yet, for the most part, society would not class them as ‘successful’. ‘Why?’ You may ask, ‘When they lead or led such exemplary lives?’ It is because most of them never made a lot of money. And success, in the eyes of most, is defined by how much money we make. As that is a limited – and indeed limiting – view of success, I had the idea to dedicate six issues of this column and the next How Women Work Conference (in March 2011) to the topic of ‘success’, what it means to us women and how we can generate and acknowledge more of it in our lives.
So let’s start with this month’s story, the story of Sara: Sara used to work as the Managing Director of a small but successful accounting firm. She was good at her job and earned a decent salary. Unfortunately, the job did not allow much creativity, though, and Sara did not feel challenged. Through a social contact of hers she heard about, and consequently took on, the job of a store manager for a small, extraordinary boutique. Some of her friends thought she was crazy to change for a job with less pay and less prestige but Sara loved the boutique and its special atmosphere. It was one of these places where you come in and feel at home. She knew that the owner had 2010 September
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What did Sara do to make it happen?
She demonstrated self-reflection, initiative and drive. She realised when she had come to a dead end and made a change. She found a way to make up for her lack of experience in the field by using her strengths and talents and developing a concept in accordance with her values.
taken quite a bet on her, a novice to the fashion business, and wanted to repay the trust invested in her by keeping the business going well. Being the enterprising woman that she is, she thought about how to best make use of her talents to benefit the boutique. For this purpose, she listened more closely to what the customers asked about. She watched her own shopping behaviour and observed her own need for information and help with the products. After she had been to a fair-trade store one Saturday, she realised that it was important for her to know where things came from and to be sure she wasn’t supporting any exploitation with her purchases. But naturally, she did not have the time or the inclination to do research on every item she needed to buy, so she appreciated the convenience of the fairtrade store and the information that was provided there. On doing some research, she was thrilled to find out that all the clothes sold at the boutique were made by qualified professionals who worked regular hours and got paid above-average wages for their work. She collected some data on it and put it forward to the owner, suggesting that it be used in their advertising – something along the lines of ‘Shopping with a clear conscience’. The resultant advertising campaign brought quite a few new customers to the store. These new customers, like Sara herself,
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liked to make conscious choices, which meant they asked a lot more questions when they were in the store. Some wanted to know how the raw materials were farmed and how they were processed, others asked who had sewn and designed the clothes. Sara enjoyed providing the answers and helping her customers to make informed choices. She started speaking to the suppliers, to find out more about their products, and building a good rapport with them. She made a point of training the sales staff on all the details of production and quality. Then she published this information in the store. Every design label had its own
How can that apply to your life? Whenever and wherever you feel bored, dissatisfied or not sufficiently challenged, ask yourself: What exactly bugs me about it? How can this task/job/position become more satisfying for me? Which of my strengths and talents can I use to make it more satisfying? If there is no valid answer to the last two questions, it might be time for a change.
information board listing everything from where the seed for the cotton or flax came from to what the seamstress was paid to sew the clothes together and how the ware had been shipped to the store. As store manager, Sara really got the chance to utilise her talents and skills. She loved the creative challenge and the constant call for resourcefulness that the day-to-day interaction with the customers and staff necessitated. She continued listening carefully to what the customers wanted and loved coming up with new themes and schemes to satisfy their needs. Not every one of her ideas took off, of course, but the owner learned to trust her judgement and give her a free hand in running the boutique. She knew she could trust Sara to ask for help or advice when she needed it
The writer is the Director, Founder & Initiator of Arcata Interactive Communication Coaching. She combined the skills and experience she gained from being Personal Coach, Dance Therapist and Managing Director for many years to create unique coaching programmes for private and professional people. Arcata offers public courses, tailor-made in-house coaching and one-to-one coaching sessions for professional and personal development. For more information please visit www.arcata.cc