Are You Stuck in Self-Sabotaging Habits?

By Dawn Allen

How well are you taking care of yourself? Do you take time for yourself, or are there so many distractions in your life that you are last on the list of your busy schedule?

If we are not taking time for ourselves, it's difficult for us to be giving love to someone else because we run out of energy. If there is nothing left for us, there sure will be nothing left for anyone else!

Getting to the root of why you are not taking time for yourself is the first step in changing your behavior.

If we really value ourselves, we find the time to do what's important to us. But that can be challenging when so many other influences pull on our time and energy. It can be easy to fall into self-sabotage.

Self-sabotage habits are behaviors or thought patterns that prevent individuals from achieving their goals and realizing their full potential.

Some common self-sabotage habits include:

1. Procrastination: Delaying or putting off important tasks, often until the last minute, can lead to missed opportunities and increased stress.

2. Negative self-talk: Belittling oneself, focusing on weaknesses rather than strengths, and doubting one's abilities can undermine confidence and self-esteem.

3. Perfectionism: Setting impossibly high standards and being overly critical of oneself can lead to feelings of failure and inadequacy.

4. Fear of failure: Avoiding taking risks or trying new things for fear of failure can prevent individuals from reaching their full potential.

5. Self-medication: Using substances or engaging in other unhealthy behaviors, such as overeating or overspending, to cope with negative emotions can lead to further problems and interfere with achieving goals.

6. People-pleasing: Prioritizing the needs and wants of others over one's own can lead to burnout and resentment and may prevent individuals from pursuing their own goals and desires.

By identifying and addressing self-sabotage habits, individuals can break free from patterns that hold them back and work towards achieving their goals and living fulfilling lives.

Overcoming self-sabotaging habits is critical, so you can start investing your energy in creating the relationship of your dreams and living a life of love.

If it feels like you are stuck in some old habits and you are having a difficult time moving forward, take some time to work through the following:

1. Are you carrying any emotional baggage from the past? Are there patterns you keep repeating in your life or relationships? Is something from your past still unresolved and keeping you stuck? Very often, it can be hard to see these things for ourselves.

However, I've found journaling and meditation to be wonderful avenues to discovering what's still unresolved emotional baggage from the past. Working with a coach or energy therapist can also help bring these issues to light.

2. Do you have limiting beliefs or inner conflict around what you can create? This can be huge. Often we are completely unaware of how we are limiting ourselves simply because we haven't thought about it. For example, do you really believe you deserve to have the life you desire? Or do all kinds of limiting beliefs rise to the surface when you think about it? Writing down these thoughts as they come up and looking at them on paper can help you get clear of what may be holding you back unconsciously.

3. Make your list of pros and cons about incorporating those great new habits you want into your life. Okay, this is the fun part. First, write down all the reasons you want to change an old, bad habit and what will happen if you do. Then go back and write down what will happen if you don't. Usually, if our "why" is big enough, we'll find the time and energy to invest in ourselves in a positive way. Whether that be incorporating a new exercise program, taking time to journal or meditate, or just eating better, when we really remember and focus our attention on how great we'll feel when we do the things to take care of ourselves, it's easier to start following through.

Overcoming self-sabotage can be challenging if we let our unresolved stuff from the past keep us stuck. But once you discover what was holding you back, you can move on to creating new and wonderful habits for yourself that will support you in living the life you desire and attracting the love of your life.

Dawn Allen, CDC, CPTF, is a Love & Attraction Coach, Author, and founder of Inspired Heart Coaching. Dawn is a leading authority on love and relationships and specializes in helping single women attract the love of their lives. Through her group and private coaching programs, she teaches you how to attract and create a deep, magical, and loving relationship by releasing patterns from the past. To learn more about Dawn, visit www. InspiredHeartCoaching.com and receive her 4 Secrets to Finding Your Soul Mate E-book when you subscribe to her Secrets to Love Ezine, or email her at Dawn@ InspiredHeartCoaching.com