One magazine (issue #002)(web) by One Magazine

CONTENTS

ISSUE #002/15

PULSE OF THE NATION

A UNIQUE PEOPLE ��4 Family Affairs

FAMILY TRADITIONS ��6 Love Talk

Loving your way to health ��9 ROSES & DISHES

MAINTAIN SPACE BUT STAY CONNECTED ��10 Agri-Business

QUAIL FARMING: PYRAMID SCHEME? NAH! THE FACTS ��14

FAMILY AFFAIRS

FAMILY TRADITIONS Pg 8.

Love Gardens blog

FAtherhood

show yourself a man Pg 26.

Nyumba nene �� 24 HIV & Youth

THINGS YOUNG PEOPLE NEED TO THINK ABOUT ��29 the housemates

naked face ��30 Recipes

WHAT’S IN A POTATO? ��36 mirror me

MUMBI’S SONG �� 37 Fun Pages 38 • COMIC STRIP �� 38 • POETRY �� 38 • MOVIE REVIEW �� 38

roses & dishes

MAINTAIN SPACE BUT STAY CONNECTED Pg 10.

my story

THE YOUNG MOTHER OF 22 ANGELS Page 16.

Wamaitha Mwangi chats with One Magazine about her calling in founding a home for abandoned infants...

life-quench

where is the balance? Pg 34.

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ONE MAGAZINE PRODUCTION TEAM

A UNIQUE PEOPLE

rush of excitement is what fills our hearts when we create something new within our borders that we perceive as a milestone of progress – a new mall, an architectural marvel, a swanky new coffee shop – these are our measures of what progress is. We then walk around with a sense that we are getting 'there'. Our question this month is what exactly is the definition of 'there'? After we secured independence after being colonised by the West, we fell backwards. At some point, when the weight of our disregard for our country

WE HOWEVER NEED TO ASK OURSELVES, IF OUR AIM IS TO BECOME A CARBON COPY OF THE WEST, ARE WE NOT SACRIFICING OUR UNIQUENESS? and one another had become too much to bear, we started towards a mark we felt was the ideal. We subconsciously anchored our democracy on Western ways and values. There are several positive attributes of colonisation such as the onset of democracy and an easier way of life, our discovery of religion that has shaped our lives, and our compatibility with the rest of the world that makes global unity possible. We however need to ask ourselves, if our aim is to become a carbon copy of the West, are we not sacrificing our uniqueness? Are we not forsaking the very things

that would set us apart from the rest? For those who have been to other countries around the world, it is a fact that everywhere you go, there is something that sets the people of that nation apart – their uniqueness. When you land in Japan for instance, their unique style, their food, their culture is what greets you. When visiting countries such as France, they too have their own culture. Our question is what makes Kenya unique? And do we look down on our own uniqueness? Do we believe that when you are authentically Kenyan, that you are not 'sophisticated'? What is it that we can show the rest of the world about ourselves that they will never have seen before? It is on us to honour ourselves and each other, to respect our Kenyan identity, and not to forsake it because you are faced with a foreign culture that you deem to be superior, this is because the only way that our country will become a force to be reckoned with on this planet is for us to keep our values and unique culture intact. After all when two similar things come together, nothing can be produced, but when opposites come together creation occurs. As a world we need to keep ourselves unique and come together from that point of having a unique identity. It is only when we find our own identity that we can become a unique people, and give our authentic contribution to the development and progress of our planet. Our tip this month is to be Kenyan with excellence. Let’s make the Kenyan identity a statement of excellence, because only we can make this choice.

PUBLISHING AND PRODUCTION One Magazine Kenya Ventures Senior Editorial Team Laton Leparan Jennifer Omondi Writers & Contributors Jennifer Omondi Laton Leparan Mwihaki Mithamo Raha Mwathi Desmond Gichuru Samuel Wahome Doud Njoroge Paul Koros Design & Layout D&R Mediagraphics Photography Philocam Media Production Marketing & Distribution PMS Ltd Printed by Double Sight Services Ltd

cOVER PHOTO Wamaitha Mwangi posing with little Francis during the interview and photoshoot at the home in Dagoreti. PHOTOGRAPHY: Phillip Githinji and Samson Kamau (Philocam Media Production)

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Family Affairs

ILY FTRAADM ITION S

about the s lk ta i d n o m O r Jennife e role th d n a ls a tu ri y il benefit of fam stering unity... it plays in fo

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...Create a short scrap book of your memories as a couple or compose a song for your loved one.

raditions make up the thread from which our valued memories are woven. According to social scientists studying family, traditions make an enormous difference in creating and reinforcing emotional security in the home. Some studies have shown that the families with strongest ties have the most traditions and thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a symbol of how family members feel about one another. What benefits are traditions to your family? Traditions tie the present to the past by linking one year to the next while bridging the generations. Family stability is one of the benefits of traditions; with regular family rituals like bedtime stories or meals at the table. Rituals aid in giving a family identity thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cultivated through interaction. Consequently media today has influenced children to identify more with their peers instead of their families. When rituals are incorporated early, children gain a sense of belonging that protects them from being veered off by peer pressure. Every

family becomes unique by setting their own practices which they follow consistently. Another benefit of rituals is family unity brought about by the time the family spends together. In Kenya one popular ritual is Christmas time when families take a break from the usual busyness of life to unwind together. About a decade ago the tradition during Christmas was all about sampling rare sumptuous meals like chicken, chapatti and travelling up country. But nowadays families have substituted to eating fast foods and traveling to the coast or abroad. The other common ritual is weddings and birthdays which have become a big thing in Kenya. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s everything from hired clowns, kids gathered under a tent, lots of games, face painting, swimming, gifts, cake, bouncing castles and food. These moments cause us to pause and reflect on life by counting our blessings in more ways than one. But sometimes traditions can become routine leaving people

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Some Ideas FOR FAMILY ACTIVITIES

Aim for traditions that focus on values and family bonding than extravagance or endless activities. Be inclusive in all the stages of the event from beginning to end so no one feels left out. with little to look forward to. This calls for re-evaluation by identifying the basis of your traditions and whether to create new ones. It’s unrealistic to carry on traditions the rest of your family is not in favor of. Make sure you involve everyone in decision making so as to identify the traditions you will keep or add to your family. Sometimes it’s best to drop an outdated tradition especially if it’s been tried prior and disappointed. But ensure to discuss it beforehand with the family to gain proper perspective.

As you embark on creating new traditions, be guided by simplicity. Realize that rituals that are extravagant and go over board are harder to sustain. Plan and prepare ahead of time to avoid last minute rush and mistakes. Inform the family of an upcoming event to build anticipation and to give everyone a sense of ownership. Refrain from changing or cancelling plans without consultation for it may dampen the family’s morale. Aim for traditions that focus on values and family bonding than extravagance or endless activities. Be inclusive in all the stages of the event from beginning to end so no one feels left out. Use these moments to teach the meaning behind such traditions like Christmas or Easter. Remember also that you can exchange ideas with another family and combine your traditions. There is a lot you can learn from other people as each family has their own traditions that could be beneficial to you. You can find more tips in the library through books, magazines or the web. Whatever information you find just custom make it to suit your family’s preferences and values. It is important to realize traditions do not only need to take place annually. The best of rituals are the ones that happen ordinarily like weekly or monthly. Whatever you choose to do ensure you make the memories count!

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During birthdays, gather the family in the morning around the person’s bed and surprise them with a birthday tune. Decorate the house together with balloons, crepe paper and cards. Place a wrapped gift in a unique place where the person will be surprised to find it. On ordinary days you can reserve Sunday as a family day by having lunch in a restaurant together. You can also use this day to visit your family friends to catch up while the kids bond and play. In the evenings the entire family can cozy up on the sofa and indulge in a good family movie. On Saturdays, Dad can make breakfast for the family and hang out with the kids. This will allow mum time to rest, go the salon or catch up with her friends. For wedding anniversaries, take a portrait of the two of you to capture the memories. You can make extra special by wearing the clothes you wore on your first date or engagement. Reserve an intimate dinner in a memorable restaurant or take a weekend night out to a bed and breakfast inn. Have a custom-made cake, or flowers and poetry delivered to your spouse with a special message. Create a short scrap book of your memories as a couple or compose a song for your loved one. How about reading your old love letters or poetry to each other. And if you’ve been married a while you can choose to make it big by planning an intimate renewal of vows party. On ordinary days as a couple set up a weekly date or dinner where you share time together finding out how you are doing individually and together. You can do a coffee date, diner or even a candle light dinner at home alone after you organize a sleep over for the kids at your friends’ home. During Christmas choose an annual ritual like having lunch at a good restaurant followed by ice cream for everybody. You can purchase a Christmas tree and decorate with tokens from family and friends like souvenirs and photos.You can plan an annual family vacation and let the kids pick the venue i.e. a resort within an animal park or the beach. One of the best ways to build memories is through photos so make sure you invest in a good camera or a video cam. Let everyone join in the tradition through cooking, taking pictures, driving etc.

Love Talk

STUDIES SHOW THAT A STABLE LOVING RELATIONSHIP CONTRIBUTES GREATLY TO A PERSON’S WELLBEING SAYS JENNIFER OMONDI

ike the festive season, the month of February is much anticipated when it comes to love. The air is filled with buzz as couples walk lovingly dressed in striking red. Likewise the city is decorated with love paraphernalia to mark this special day. But what makes love special and is there a link between love and health? Studies show that a stable loving relationship contributes greatly to a person’s wellbeing. According to a study done in 2004 by Centre for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), married people are less likely to succumb to alcoholism and smoking. Another study done by researchers from Harvard University indicate that 20 percent of married women are less likely than single women to die of diseases like heart disease, liver cirrhosis and suicide. Likewise married men are 100 to 200 percent less likely to die of these same diseases. Married people are also less likely to succumb to sexual assault, domestic violence and violent crimes. Health benefit: There are many stories told of very ill people hanging onto dear life refusing to give up hope because of their loved ones. Love is said to be ‘stronger than death’, no wonder many will go to all lengths to defy an obstacle. According to a study done by Dr. Dean Ornish, author of Love and Survival, the Scientific Basis for the Healing Power of Intimacy, men who were assured of their wives love experienced half cases of chest pains (angina) as compared to those who felt unloved. This was despite having risk factors such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol and diabetes. Boosts immune system: Did you know that showing concern for others can invigorate your immune system? Surveys carried out

by Institute for the Advancement of Health showed that there are health benefits that come from caring for the community. They studied 1746 people who volunteered to work, offering help to the community. These people experienced pain relief from debilitating diseases like headaches, lupus and multiple sclerosis. This was attributed to relaxation and the release of the hormone endorphin. According to another study, engaging in acts of love and selflessness reduces stress levels leading to a boost in the immune system. This is because when a person is under stress the body stimulates the release of a hormone called cortisol which represses the immune system. Lower cholesterol levels: Other

than eating the right diet and watching your calories, another great way to reduce your cholesterol levels is through connecting with your feelings. A study done by Human Communication Research in 2007 states that writing down feelings on a paper can lower a person’s cholesterol level. Volunteers were asked to write down their feelings for loved ones three times a day for five weeks. At the end they had drastically lowered their cholesterol levels than their colleagues.

Age-fighting agent: Great news

for ladies, love actually keeps you younger looking. Did you know that the anti-aging hormone DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone) responsible for youth and vitality is also impacted by feelings of love? Studies carried out at HeartMath Institute in California show that there is a connection between emotions and the body through exercises. The participants were shown how to experience love wilfully. There was a 50

percent increase in participants DHEA within six months and 90 percent after nine months. Another group of 30 percent participants had 100 percent increase. A separate study also showed that the aging process declines through showing love and support to others more than just receiving that love. A study carried out on more than 700 elderly persons indicated that the effects of aging were influenced by what they acquired from their support networks. reliever: Pain is unavoidable uncomfortable experience that leaves many desperate for relief. I recently watched a show and was amazed to find out that many people tend to tolerate pain as long they know there is a way out. Would it be great to know there are simple ways to ease pain? Studies done by Stanford School of Medicine illustrate that euphoric feelings of love stimulate the brain in various ways releasing endorphins. After studying magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scans, participants who were shown photos of their loved ones had a high tolerance to pain. This seems true because pregnant moms who have support from their partners seem to cope better with labour, delivery and motherhood as compared to those left to handle it alone. So no matter how many heart breaks or disappointments you have had regarding love, there are plenty of reasons to celebrate. Who knew that a little TLC - tender loving care, would make such a big difference? From aging gracefully, having a robust immune system to managing pain, this is a must-have for everyone. Now you know that no matter how small your selfless act is, not only does it count but it adds value to your wellbeing!

Pain

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MAINTAIN I SPACE BUT STAY CONNECTED â&#x20AC;&#x153;EARLY IN MARRIAGE I HAD TRIED TO GIVE UP MYSELF TO MESH TO MY HUSBAND BUT ...I WAS BEGINNING TO DIE INSIDE,â&#x20AC;?SAYS RAHA MWATHI

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remember how it was when I first met my love. I literally wanted to be meshed to him because I thought that is what becoming one meant. Of course over time I came to realize that becoming one was never intended to mean meshing with one another but more two spirits entwined on a journey. We become one but we are not one being. Early in marriage I had tried to give up myself to mesh to my husband but slowly I realized I was demanding more from him than I was supposed to and I was beginning to die inside. God has made us unique and equally important. His intention for us is that we work towards being united, becoming one team despite our differences. It is not about us giving up who we are to try and please or placate the other. We cannot give up who we are, our lives and our separateness. Such a path is sure death for any marriage. God made us different and if you believe He brought you two together then know He had a purpose in doing so. It is in your differences that your strength lies. Differences were never meant to divide us but to draw us closer as we realize our need for each other. Avoid trying to change your partner to make them more like you or more like what you want. Learn to accept each other and give each other space. You just go right filling yourself with life and allow yourself to continue growing as an individual so that you have Continued on Page 12

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ROSES & DISHES

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AVOID TRYING TO CHANGE YOUR PARTNER TO MAKE THEM MORE LIKE YOU OR MORE LIKE WHAT YOU WANT. LEARN TO ACCEPT EACH OTHER AND GIVE EACH OTHER SPACE.

more to pour out into each other. Build yourself in all facets of your life be it physical, mental or spiritual. As we grow in our individual selves we have more to offer each other and we are able to enrich our relationship. It also keeps us feeling significant and worthy because in essence what we are saying to ourselves is, ‘I am important’. And if I can accept my importance, then it is easier to accept my partner’s importance. But be careful not to grow apart even as you do this. You should never

let the things that hold you together go. Find ways to stay connected to each other. Sometimes it might need you to try and enter each other’s world even though you may not initially enjoy the particular activity. One woman learnt how to golf to share that part of her husband’s life. She was not really interested in the game but by sharing in his passion she found she enjoyed him more and soon fell in love with the game herself. And now they have an activity they both enjoy immensely. This makes me think that maybe I should finally try and create an interest for football for my husband’s sake. He has been asking me to accompany him and I think it would be wise to take him up on the offer and maybe find one more thing we can enjoy together. You need to work towards finding common grounds you can engage in. Look for something that doesn't have to do with work, home or the other duties you have to fulfil. This is purely for you and just for fun. This helps foster intimacy between the two of you and reminds you what it is you loved about being with your partner. This is especially true after the children come. Suddenly your days are filled with just getting through life and it is easy to assume that because you share a bed you are maintaining closeness. Many have woken up years later to find that they are lying next to a stranger. They have no idea when it happened but somehow they let go of the things that kept them connected. So seek out time for each other and

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things that you can enjoy together. Let laughter flow between the two of you. It eases the build-up of tension and allows the other person in. I have found that when my husband and I laugh, we relax and we find ourselves again. In those moments I look into his eyes and think, “Yes, that’s the man I fell in love with.” Find your partner again and again and again as you learn to stay connected even as you make room for each other to grow and just be who they are.

STRENGTH FOR EVERY STORM The rate at which marriages collapse these days is astounding and sad. This was not the original plan of God, the Initiator of marriage. A genuine LOVE is the foundation on which any lasting relationship is built. The stronger the foundation, the better the relationship. Loving God first is building your marrriage on a solid rock. All other means of building it is as good as doing so on the sand. According to the Holy Bible, there are three events that will prove the strength of every marriage at any stage: • There will be rain. Rain will descend and coldness and other things which will become challenges will follow. • Flooding will come. Flood that will put your spirit, emotions, mental energy and physical body to task either simultaneously or one after the other. • Winds will blow. Satan, the world system, finance, and social winds will blow in various times and stages. Excerpts from Stage One Of A Lasting Relationship by Olawale Ogunsola articles.faithwriters.com

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Agri-Business

QUAIL FARMING: PYRAMID SCHEME? NAH! THEÂ FACTS

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Why quail farming may not be as profitable to those who are adopting quail farming now, explains Mwihaki Mithamo. She considers the early adopters who took up the idea years ago.

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he newest buzzword among entrepreneur farmers, especially those drawn to the poultry business in Kenya is quails. It is said that the bird and their eggs is awash with nutritional benefits, but that they also have medicinal value. The foregoing aside, all entrepreneur farmers are pretty worried by recent allegations that quail farming may be a pyramid scheme. In this article, I will refute such allegations. However, I will show why quail farming may not be as profitable to late majority farmers (i.e. those who are adopting quail farming now) compared to the early adopters who took up and run with the idea several years ago. The smaller profit margins notwithstanding, quail farming is here to stay, and will arguably make good business sense for those who don’t mind creating wealth slowly as opposed to becoming instant millionaires. The caveat however is that a lot of marketing needs to be done in order to create adequate market for quail products. Selling the same products for exorbitant prices might have been a good idea a year ago, but is a market-killer going forward. To start off, it is important to indicate that quail farming has been supported by government (through Kenya Wildlife Service (KWS)) as can be seen here: As such, it is highly unlikely that it can be a pyramid scheme. Notably however, it is important to indicate that what may seem like similarities between quail farming (especially going forward) and pyramid schemes are in fact their points of difference. For example, while pyramids schemes benefit those who are high in the hierarchies at the expense of those who are in lower hierarchies, quail farming has no hierarchies. Like most businesses, those who adopt an idea or innovation earlier enjoy some benefits which include market penetration, and other first-mover advantages such as high prices. The high prices (and big profit margins) however level out as soon as new market entrants make their presence felt thus making competition a reality. Quail farming is no different; two years ago, farmers could enjoy high prices for quail products. Today however, the tide has changed; more farmers have adopted

THE SMALLER PROFIT MARGINS NOTWITHSTANDING, QUAIL FARMING IS HERE TO STAY, AND WILL ARGUABLY MAKE GOOD BUSINESS SENSE FOR THOSE WHO DON’T MIND CREATING WEALTH SLOWLY AS OPPOSED TO BECOMING INSTANT MILLIONAIRES.

quail farming, the supply for quail products is increasing, and unless the demand increases, prices will no doubt register a downward trend. In quail farming, and in any other kind of business-minded farming, farmers need to understand the influence that demand and supply has on prices. In simple economics, low supply in a market where demand is high leads to high prices. As the demand rises, the supply increases in an effort to get favourable returns from the high prices.

Eventually, the market is at an equilibrium (although rarely) and an ideal price for the product is attained. If an oversupply occurs, the prices become lower than they would otherwise be when there is a balance between demand and supply. In view of the above, and considering that consumers have not fully embraced quail meat and eggs, farmers engaged in the business stand the risk of oversaturation in market. If this happens, it will be a case of too many products in a limited market. In other words, suppliers (quail farmers) will be competing to attract a limited number of consumers and this will definitely drive the prices down to a point where they might not make economic sense anymore. What would be the way forward for quail farming one would ask? Well, for starters, farmers need to find where the market is, and/or create the demand among potential consumers. If indeed the quail products are good as they are touted to be, marketing them (through sensitizing consumers) should not be such a biggie. Next, farmers ought to target selling volumes at lower margins. The foregoing argument is informed by the fact that not many people would afford to purchase a quail egg at 100 shillings; sell it at a lower prices, and a great number of people will afford to purchase it not only once, but consistently. Consistent buyers will create a ready market for the same in the longterm. Finally, quail farmers need to start working together. While outdoing each other in the market place is crucial for business survival in any competitive market, selling quail products at ridiculously low prices while other are stuck on the ridiculously high price end will ultimately mess up the market. As evident from the screen shot below, there are some sober minds in this whole quail business debate. In conclusion, it is important for everyone to understand that Kenya is a free market. Eventually, the forces of demand and supply will determine prices for quail products. What are your thoughts? Mwihaki Mithamo is a blogger Courtesy of smartfarmingkenya.com

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THE YOUNG MOTHER OF 22 ANGELS

Wamaitha Mwangi chats with Jennifer Omondi about the dream, the challenge and the fulfillment of founding a home for abandoned infants...

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My Story

Surprises Today’s world is full of great turmoil that may bring despair even to the best of optimists. We all need that little doze of hope to add meaning to life. That’s exactly what I experience when I meet ‘Wams’ as her friends like to call her.

amaitha Mwangi is the founder of Angels Center, a refuge for abandoned infants based in Nairobi. It was founded in 2009 but opened in 2010 in a one bedroom house in Limuru. She began with only two babies, two volunteer nannies and three baby coats donated by her friends. Today she’s the proud mother of 22 children: 19 boys and 3 girls. She won a 2011 Pillar Award under the Humanitarian category. She has since been featured in various media houses, publications and blogs. You would be excused to assume she’s an old married woman with children. Oddly, she’s a 31 year old vivacious, ambitious and intelligent girl, completing her second degree at the university. How did she get involved in such noble work? I am eager to meet her. I’m first struck by wonder, there’s nothing timid or quiet about her. She’s bold, strong and outspoken. She’s garbed in faded fitting jeans and a sleeveless top with earth colors which accentuates her fair chocolate skin. Her many ear piercings are gilded with a beautiful set of elegant studs. I’m engrossed by her tongue ring and instantly realize she’s no ordinary girl. As she selflessly opens up I’m captured by her friendly, down to earth and focused demeanor.

Early years “I was born and bred in Nairobi, I’m the third born and have two older sisters and a younger brother”. The family moved to Limuru when she was a teenager. Despite having two older sisters she was a tomboy. “I never understood why my sisters had to do their hair. I cut mine and kept that look,” she states giggling. Her current hairdo portrays her creative free spirit. She alludes that her hair was cut because of ringworms she contracted playing in sewers with the boys. “My parents wouldn’t have thought I was the child to do this. I was a problem child. Every family has a problem child, I was that child.” She’s adamant stating that she was the naughty one and even got expelled from high school. “I was feisty and could even beat my brother, I was acting like a big brother,” she adds. Her tone reveals that she’s been through a lot though she’s fearless and resents proud people. She says that her parents can attest that from an early age she was drawn to kids with special needs. “My parents never stopped us from pursuing what we wanted to study. They allowed us to learn from our mistakes and be ourselves”. She joined boarding school in standard six. And though her mum was strict she still allowed them to find their own paths. “We all went to boarding, dad would drive us to school and buy us roasted beef as we tuned to Denver songs; to this day I know all the songs. On visiting day mum would come with her friends, lots of food and always thought about kids who hadn’t been visited”. They always shared food with her peers. This explains Wams sense of compassion. Teenage Woes “In primary I moved from Nyeri to Kirinyaga then in high school I got expelled. I was a difficult child and was being naughty for no reason. Teachers remember me; I was never good with authority”. Was she scared of penalties? “Never, I was never afraid

THE ANGEL CENTRE: hidden away like a fairytale cottage in the outskirts of Dagoreti where the children can enjoy the tranquility.

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Her peers find it hard to believe that she runs an orphanage... “I used to be in Pathfinders and Rangers and would arrange visits to orphanages every holiday as a family”. This planted a benevolent seed which birthed her dedication to deserted children. of consequences even today,” she states emphatically. Her mum was distraught and grounded her with many chores. She admits that her consequence meter was a bit off and after the expulsion; she realized she had gone too far. It was difficult for her mum to find another school for her. “When I got the new school I behaved till I finished high school”. Even today her peers find it hard to believe that she runs an orphanage. In the new school her life took a positive turn. “I used to be in Pathfinders and Rangers and would arrange visits to orphanages every holiday as a family”. This planted a benevolent seed which birthed her dedication to deserted children. People thought she was crazy but her family understood and supported her; though her mum was unsure she would stick it through. Australia After her older sisters went abroad for further studies, she preferred to study in Kenya. She took computer classes in college to keep busy. However, her

parents wanted her to study abroad as well. Hesitantly she applied and was admitted at University of Notre Dame, Australia. She studied Child Psychology and worked for three years caring for a boy with multiple disabilities; a job she says was very fulfilling. “He had such an amazing family. I would give him his meds, bath him, keep him busy; motivation, massage and exercise”. She lights up when talking about the 18 year old boy. “He would know your voice when you came in and he would smile; it was such a nice feeling,” she relays. Australia was multicultural with people from all walks of life, “I had so much fun, it may have gone out of hand, but I had fun,” she states. She admits that her parents’ strong values guided her. “I raise my kids exactly the way my mum raised us. I used to say when I grow up I won’t be as strict as my mum, but now I’m exactly like her. If I’m their friend now they’re going to suffer later. I would rather be their friend later,” she avers. It’s comforting to note that the values we instill in our kids will pay off in the end.

Angel’s Centre “When I returned in 2008 it was hard to find a job and I was still partying,” she confesses. All her peers were settled in their careers as she tried to find her way. The job wasn’t imminent so she opted to register the center. “By 2009 the center was already registered. I thought it would take years to start operation but surprisingly doors kept opening. One doesn’t need a degree to run a center, you just need the passion. A degree may help but with passion you sort of know what to do,” she advices. She reveals that she only admits kids’ ages 0 to 2 years old. She however retains kids who haven’t been adopted and are over two years old. “I’m not going to take them to another home,” she affirms. She shares that when a child is moved to another home at that tender age it disrupts their life. “Kids are very hard on themselves, so the child will start wondering ‘what did I do?’ And since no one will answer their questions, they’ll grow up thinking they did something wrong. And the cycle begins, they’ll feel LEFT: WAMAITHA WITH MOST OF HER ANGELS AND SOME OF HER NANNIES IN THE PLAYROOM TOP RIGHT: MAX (IN DARK TOP) WITH HIS FRIENDS ON TRIKES. BOTTOM RIGHT: ONE MONTH OLD BOY TAKING HIS MID-MORNING NAP

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“Kids are very hard on themselves, so the child will start wondering ‘what did I do?’ And since no one will answer their questions, they’ll grow up thinking they did something wrong. And the cycle begins, they’ll feel rejected and sometimes this will turn into anger where they start acting up” ~Wamaitha rejected and sometimes this will turn into anger where they start acting up,” she explains. Kids brought to the center have tragic stories. “I’ve had three babies that were brought in paper bags. Most women give birth and put them in a paper bag. God fights for these kids because they’re abandoned and somehow someone passes by and finds them”. To date no mother has ever reclaimed their child, that’s sad. What drives such mothers? “They know what they’re doing when they’re throwing the babies out. May be some didn’t have the option of abortion or the money,” she replies. “But there’s no excuse, there are people who have nothing and they still have their children. My job is to bring the children here and raise them,” she proclaims. “If I start thinking about the parents it will interfere with my work. At times I go home and start thinking about it and get overwhelmed. That’s why for me I’ve decided to give them the best because they don’t deserve to suffer,” she affirms. Challenges She cautions “if you start a children’s home for money, you’re in the wrong business”. She’s been in the business for four years and she doesn’t have a donor yet, she relies on well-wishers. “There

are times in our account we have zero but you know kids have to eat. I’m in the job of begging,” she admits. She goes round informing sympathizers of their urgent needs. “It’s not an easy job it’s very hard,” she stresses. She reveals that society wants to help but because of many children’s homes’ bad reputation, people are skeptical. “So when people come to donate I ask them to do it in kind or cash”. If they bring food she accepts because the children need to eat. “Some children’s homes only ask for money and yet they don’t use the money to get the children food or clothes. The money is used for something else”. On the contrast her kids dress superbly. “You should see them when they go for outings, they have clean clothes. They look amazing,” she states proudly. “When we go out people don’t know they’re from a children’s home. The only thing they ask me is why do you have so many kids? Are you taking care of your friends kids’?” Despite needing money for the staff and for bills, she accepts whatever donation she gets. With 14 nannies, 22 babies, rent, electricity and water bills; this can deem insurmountable for anyone. But this is what makes ‘Wams’ no ordinary woman, her passion drives her. Critics She stresses that her job isn’t easy but her family’s support has made a huge difference. “It’s only your family that will tell you ‘it’s okay’. Your job is telling the kids, the church and everyone, its okay”. You lead by showing everyone you’re strong and no one stops to ask, how you are doing”. She quotes Ne-Yo song lyrics “even the strong need someone to tell them it’s alright”. She reveals that to her family and friends, she’s totally herself. “I’m not that young girl who runs a center or ‘Mama Angel as people call me. I’m their third born who has to follow rules and even watch how I dress”. Equally her friends tell her the truth and treat her as before. Yet she hasn’t escaped criticism. In 2011 she was forced on leave on a sponsored vacation to Kilifi with airfare paid for by her father. When she posted photos on Instagram it attracted harsh criticism. “You shouldn’t be posting photos, you look like you’re having too much fun and you’ve forgotten about the kids,” one lady

“I was a difficult child and was being naughty for no reason.” “Kids forget easily so you have to remain firm and consistent till they learn the lesson.”

“If I get kids I won’t be raising them at home because my job is raising kids. My husband will have to know that I’ll be leaving for work with the child in the morning.” “Do what you feel in your heart to be right for you’ll be judged anyway”. -Eleanor Roosevelt

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said. People expect her to be with the kids around the clock. I think it’s unrealistic given her age. “People can be very hard on you. I’m not going to live my life for people. I live my life for the kids, for me, plus the kids are healthy and I know everything they’re going through. If you live your life for people you’ll be miserable and you deserve it. But everyone is entitled to their own opinion,” she states. She stands by a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt “Do what you feel in your heart to be right for you’ll be judged anyway”. Well said. Discipline She disciplines her kids by tapping their wrists gently. “They don’t like it and usually know they’ve done something wrong and don’t want to repeat it. For the older kids I deny privileges like they don’t go for trips, they don’t get to watch TV and they have to sleep early”. She says that discipline works as the kids are in a crowd and none wants to be barred from doing fun things. “Kids forget easily so you have to remain firm and consistent till they learn the lesson,” she affirms. But she’s still a cool mum and shares that, “sometimes on weekends I take them for trips, movies and even to a restaurant”. As a tomboy she used to pray to God to give her boys. Well, God replied her prayers with 19 boys. But she’s quick to admit that raising boys is no easy task. “I try to get male figures as role models for them since most of the nannies are ladies. I don’t want them to grow up to be mommy boys,” she states fondly. She’s a bit concerned with one boy who’s attached to her and refuses to be fed by anyone else. “Even when I’m in my office he sits on the floor next to my feet,” she reveals. I don’t know how she keeps up; she’s truly an amazing mother. Successes Her greatest joy is when kids join families like baby David who was adopted at a year and two months old. Her goal is to give abandoned kids good memories. “People don’t want to adopt kids because they say they come with a bad attitude. They come with baggage because of where they come from. Others don’t want to adopt because they’re scared. Others will come and tell me they want to adopt but their husband won’t let them especially

if it’s a boy because of inheritance,” she explains. This saddens her though at the end of the day someone has to raise these kids. Most kids from children’s homes face abuse which explains their bouts of anger. “I may not have all the money to take my kids to fancy schools but I’ll do my best to ensure they’re well taken of. Kids just want to be happy and loved. We think kids think like us. Love doesn’t have to be your parents are making millions,” she stresses. Wams comes from a loving home which informs her desire for every child to be raised in a loving home. She shares that today parents have chosen to focus more on their careers yet they’re not happy. “It’s all about what they have, that’s what parents are teaching the kids. It’s so unfortunate because it’s a vicious cycle we’re creating”, she alludes. Her work hasn’t gone unnoticed judging by her words at the Pillar Awards ceremony. “I appreciate the award because it recognizes the unique gift women have. The ability to fight for what they believe in and their amazing ability to step away from the limelight for the sake of those whom they love. I stand here for my babies”. She’s definitely storing up special blessings for herself and a lasting legacy for generations to come. One day those blessings will reign down on her, I have no doubt. Adoption I inquire why she has more boys in her center. “People don’t want to adopt boys; because in Kenya people don’t want to marry a girl who has a boy because of inheritance issues.” As a parent this is sad because these are innocent kids. I ask her about the adoption process. “They have to visit the adoption agency where they’re vetted. They’re not checking to see if you have enough money, they’re checking to see if you have room for the child”. The agency also interviews one’s workmates, family and friends to see what kind of person one is. “If you have big kids they’ll be interviewed to see if they want a sibling and also interview your partner. She adds that the adoption may take roughly 6 to 8 months depending on how early you submit the paperwork. “The entire process will eventually take 1 year after which the couple will come to the center

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Motherhood “After university get a job, get married and have kids. “But in my case the cart came before the horse.”

Wamaitha and one-year-old Francis on a swing bench during the interview.

for a five day bonding session”. The agency will select a child for the couple to bond with. “If I see a bond I’ll agree if I don’t see a bond I won’t agree”. “If there’s no bond for five days then there’s something wrong”. The couple sometimes may be forced to try another center. Why does the agency choose the child for the couple? “Some children will never get adopted because of bias. Plus you may want to adopt a mixed race child and yet none of you is white. And in the future people will stigmatize the child. That’s why the adoption agency looks for kids that look like the couple”. As a young mother Wams has already experienced loss. She has lost three infants all seven months old. “One suffered from Spina Bifida, another from severe malnutrition exposed at birth and a third one from a rare condition. She was affected by the third child’s demise that was healthy but began losing weight after weaning. The doctors couldn’t diagnose what was wrong and it’s only after the autopsy that it was discovered that she had a malformed esophagus. I ask her how she makes ends meet. “The kids that go to school have individual sponsors so school fees for me is not a worry”. Additionally, they have one company that provides some monthly financial help which caters for food and few needs. “But at times my nannies go for 3-4 months without pay”. I ask where she got such good nannies. “I came with them from Limuru, they’re some who left but some still stay and believe doors will open. They love those children”. Clearly when you do God’s work he sends you angels. “I’m telling you I never have to worry that my kids will be abused or won’t be taken care of when I’m not at the center. The nannies even protect them from visitors sometimes”. They ensure rules are kept and kids aren’t bothered especially during nap time. December is a good month for the center as they receive lots of guests. She’s able to take the kids out for swimming. “During Christmas we rarely spend money, kids enjoy and have fun. There was once a family that invited the kids to their home with food set in their backyard and a swimming pool. Another group took the kids to the Carnivore restaurant. They’re people who are doing things”. The center’s main need is finances with other needs like diapers, formula stage 1, food, beds, bulbs, detergents, disinfectants, bleaches of any brand. Motherhood She shares that it’s expected after university for one to get a job, get married and have kids. “But in my case the cart came before the horse,” referring to her children. I ask her view on society and infertility. “You know we are Africans and it can never be the men”. Infertility is often blamed on the woman and her lineage, it’s seldom the man. “The in-laws will pressure their son to marry another woman or get a girl pregnant. In Africa we’re meant to believe that if you don’t have children there’s something wrong with you. At some point you have to get married and get kids. And even if you don’t get married at least you have to get children, that’s what makes you a woman,” she asserts. What’s her dream as a mother? “If I get kids I won’t be raising them at home because my job is raising kids. My husband will have to know that I’ll be leaving for work with the child in the morning. I would rather see my child grow than leave them

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home with a help. The only thing will be my child will go to a different school and we’ll have family outings because the child will have two parents. And at the end of the day I will go home with my child. The distinction is that my child will come from me,” she affirms. Role Model I ask her who her hero is. “Angeline Jolie, she’s wild, a humanitarian and loves bikes like me”. Wams has little time to socialize so on weekends she enjoys riding with her biking

“If I were to go by my own plans I would have been married by 25. God is the one who chooses things for you, so when He chooses one for me then I’ll be ready.” team. For me motorbikes read ‘danger’ yet she’s at ease cruising fast on the highway. “Everyone says that but danger is everywhere but you have to be careful. I’ve been to Naivasha as a rider it took me 20 minutes”. Now that’s scary, this girl truly enjoys some adrenaline rush. What does she do to relax? “For me relaxing is staying home doing nothing, no socializing and watching movies”. Future Plans What are her future plans? “We want to buy land and build our own place since we’re currently renting. We want to get into income generating projects to support ourselves financially. How about marriage? “If I were to go by my own plans I would have been married by 25. God is the one who chooses things for you, so when He chooses one for me then I’ll be ready. But I do want to have a family, I do want to have kids, when that moment comes I’m ready for it”. I ask her how many kids she wants. “I wanted to have many kids and I already have many kids. So maybe I’ll have 2 or 3. I would like to have my own kids, I’m a mother yes but I’ve not experienced pregnancy”. Her story shows us that everyone can do something to change the world around them. None of us has an excuse. I pen off with words from Mother Teresa “It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving”. YOU CAN MAKE DONATIONS IN THE FOLLOWING WAYS: A/c Name: ANGEL CENTRE FOR ABANDONED CHILDREN A/c No.: 1124041486 Swift code: KCBLKENX Bank: KCB Sarit Or Lipa na M-pesa number: 917425.

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Love Gardens blog “THE REASON GOD PUT SO MANY SEEDS IN EACH FRUIT AND SO MANY FRUITS IN EACH TREE,” DECLARES SAMUEL WAHOME, “IS BECAUSE SOME SEEDS NEVER GET TO GERMINATE... BUT SOME LUCKY FRUITS DO COMPENSATE… AND TOGETHER WE’VE CREATED....”

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m lucky to have been born…a last-born in a big family… at a time of plenty… for the women … and the soil…that is… a fertility boom … a record 6-8 children per adult woman… and what genius kids… always topping the national exams… local secondary schools took whole classes to the national University… but that was then… Today that “boom generation” … my generation…that is… runs the country…yes…with our “tyranny of numbers”… and still builds big… 6-8 bed roomed houses… but we have a totally different experience… with kids… CHILDLESSNESS: When Nancy and I got married…and she wasn’t through with college…we wasted effort trying to postpone pregnancy…without knowing that… on the contrary…we needed “help to conceive”…and then when it dawned on us …we panicked… Several doctors later …embarrassing sperm-count tests …and several cartons of fertility drugs…Nancy conceived alright…but miscarried after two months… But God is good… two years on… Charles came…another four years… followed Victor…but we can’t forget the experience of being married…and trying desperately to get a child… Why were our parents so fertile but some of us aren't? Could it be the toxic… later banned… contraceptives… running in our blood stream…or did our community simply annoy God… by introducing “unwanted baby syndrome” in our vocabulary…

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MANY SEEDS: My siblings have 7, 8,

3 and 12 kids respectively… When the sister I follow got her ninth born… people talked carelessly…but God continued to bless her and today all have grown…and what joy at the family gatherings… I guess it’s the reason God put so many seeds in each fruit…and so many fruits in each tree…because some seeds never get to germinate…or grow… so some lucky fruits do compensate… for the lost ones… and together we've created…a “nyumba nene”… the family… that is…not the house…

WHEN NANCY AND I GOT MARRIED, AND SHE WASN’T THROUGH WITH COLLEGE, WE WASTED EFFORT TRYING TO POSTPONE PREGNANCY MONEY: We didn't have much resources

when we were desperately looking for children…no-one ever has…and no-one can guess how much a kid will need…Just ask our friends Charles& Judy…whose 1st born baby girl “Chiku” lived for only a fortnight… but left behind a Kshs. 1.2 million bill in hospital expenses… But you know what…her "nyumba nene".... relatives and friends… have helped and “Chiku” she will be laid to rest tomorrow… My own father was a peasant farmer… but he brought us up…he educated his last born…me…so you can imagine me sitting there…in my big house…and a car…calling myself a consultant and saying I cannot afford another baby…

BROTHERS: Last week our sons were home…and these days they use the same bedroom…the one that is farthest from ours…and I could hear them talk…and talk in the night…a real friendship bond… so I have no doubt… that many an “onlychild” do experience some loneliness… and anyway…don’t children require “uncles“ and “aunties”…that is their parent’s siblings… and the more the better. IDEAL FAMILY SIZE: If you think there

is such a thing as an ideal family size of … of one…or two…or three kids…go tell it to the birds…The other day we shared the story of Mr. and Mrs. AB whose three kids died in a house inferno as the mother was undergoing tubal litigation…having had “enough children”…”unfortunate, fluke” you might justify. Well… My neighbor Peter has seven kids…two are at university…and all are doing well…in health and in school. Another prosperous neighbor… (Name withheld) has one

child…she finished Form IV two years ago with an “E” and got married to a driver…notwithstanding her parents six bed-roomed house. Yet another “only-child” we know … relocated to the US and couldn’t come over when his father was very ill…never mind that the family owns quite some property. CHILD-SPACING: Last Saturday we visited Mary& Julius during the 1st Birthday of their twins… born “one day apart”…and they are doing well…and the family said what a blessing the boys have been…so if multiple birth children are not a problem…why should children born a whole year apart…why…when the younger one inherits toys and clothes… and they don’t compete for “nyonyo”… why? Other than some senseless visitors who will ask who is older?? Maybe some friends we can do without… MOTHERS MILK: I hope we have not

stepped on too many toes with this article today…but we talk from experience… because too many young families share with us how their greatest challenge… and a silent relationship breaker… is the issue of Family Planning… On the one hand…the Churches’ teaching against Contraceptives is clear… not because of the many side-effects… and even if a “safe contraceptive” was discovered…it would be still against our faith…but then do young Christians understand why…leave alone how to confront the secular society’s paranoia for children… The answer dear friends does not lie in killing ourselves...trying not to have another child…for when do you know if the next one will be a future Pope... who knows how those already born will perform...who knows how God will bless you tomorrow? And take care God may bless you with only “accident" and "unwanted" babies... who will take you through hell on earth... from prison...to...beating you up rather ...literary And finally there may be no-one to inherit your name...or to help-you in your old age...leave alone having failed to do God's sole instruction...of filling the earth. Courtesy of Marriage Encounter

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fatherhood

a father The traditional role of observes , seems to be changing Desmond Gichuru. What are the implications of that on the man as head of the home?

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“The traditional image of the father, is one of lawgiver, moral arbiter, disciplinarian and CEO of the home economy.” -Jeremy Adam Smith,

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Author of The Daddy Shift

he whole world is always changing and we are always bustling about trying to keep up. But there are things about which a man must not allow room for alterations. Good principles, for instance, cannot be adjusted to suit every fleeting trend. We all want to find and live by those conventions which have weathered out fads, those timeless traditions that have always made a man a good father. “The traditional image of the father,” writes Jeremy Adam Smith, author of The Daddy Shift, “is one of lawgiver, moral arbiter, disciplinarian and CEO of the home economy.” So even when change has worn out civilisations to dust and ashes, the world will always be in need of this man to set forth the family vision and lead them out into it by the instrumentality of his uncompromising values to shield them from evil. A cursive survey of families, however, would show that the sentry who ought to keep post at his wall is asleep or away, and his wall has been broken through in many places. But we are thankful to movements like Shujaa Dad, one of the programmes in the Transform Kenya Initiative founded by Simon Mbevi, which attempts to fan manhood back into the man and put him back on his wall.

Working girl: threat or opportunity?

Our unstable economy has made it impractical for the modern family to get by on just one income. Additionally, the decline of cultural stereotypes against women has allowed more women in the

workforce. Dilnawaz Qamar, head of the Psychology Department at Forman Christian College, writes “[P]resent economy, unemployment, inflation, changing lifestyles and resultant hypertension, poor law and order conditions, lack of resources and utilities – all these factors have radically changed the role of the breadwinner.” The 20thcentury woman was liberated. The 21st century woman is empowered! You say that liberation and empowerment is the same thing; I insist they are separate steps in a process. The modern woman is swaddled in layers of special civil rights and privileges far beyond the general human rights. Some modern man may be observing this trend with interest, another one with chattering teeth and twiddling thumbs. What will be the first act of Power Woman? Our feeling of manhood has always been inextricably fused with our work. Nothing best exhibits my intelligence or audacity or manly strength to my woman and my peers as what I set out to do every day. This term manly is heavy with connotations for virility which every boy used to be impatient to grow into. Manhood was a kind of demigod status, with a sword or a tool or an idea as his sceptre of deity. But now the woman is the one constantly away: flying out for weeklong conferences or attending week-day evening classes. And the man is probably always home first and picks up the baby from day-care, earning only a fraction of what she rakes in. Of course, with his planet-size ego it is hard to take all this in good humour. He remembers picturing this part differently as a boy.

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A good man will still go into fatherhood with the resolution of a frontline soldier who knows that he may die soon and soon be forgotten; but he will do his duty. Changing roles

Inevitably, the historical role of a father, being the provider, is changing to include more home-centred interests. Under these new family pressures a dad must also become a nurturer. What your wife knows by instinct and upbringing through maternal lore, you must grasp by trial and error. It did not occur to your dad, while he was teaching you about the scheme of things, to give you safeguards for your masculinity to which you cling when you are feeling rather feminine about changing diapers and burping babies. You will have to ignore your supervisor’s stifled chortles while you explain that you will need the morning off on Wednesday next week for your baby’s clinic visit. Making peace with change

But it is still customary that the man is the head of the family. So, you are it. Despite prevailing conditions in the economy and lifestyles, good and bad, the role of a father is still as it was for our fathers and their fathers before them.

If your wife is earning more than you or is away from home oftener, remember that she still needs a man. She needs to know you will remain involved. If you feel that on that account she is in some ways undermining your headship you must find a way of squaring it out with her. You want to resolve any root of resentment quickly before they spring up disastrously. Try to keep in your perspective that you are both playing for the same side. Your wife’s advancement is also your own. Be supportive of her the way you would want it when your turn to rise comes. Accept sacrifices willingly and remember that you are still the man in the house. You have noticed that political institutions are becoming more selfgoverning and society more free-thinking. New ideas are creeping in that will upset the family unit. A family that is both democratic and liberal, therefore, will soon be no family at all. That expedient practice trying to stay relevant is both adolescent and ill-advised. If you are now in the house more, consider it an opportunity for you to regulate the kid’s television sessions and to talk to them. And shouldn’t you, their dad, be the one to answer their many questions about life rather than TV shows? If you cannot get rid of your equivocal

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feelings about your particular role, you can try to live with them. There may never be glamour it enough to interest the world as a worthy pursuit for a man. Because, as someone once said, “Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.” It is generally a thankless occupation to be an involved daddy. The society will always give the credit to the mommy. We must try not to envy that too much. A good man will still go into fatherhood with the resolution of a frontline soldier who knows that he may die soon and soon be forgotten; but he will do his duty. And if there is any reward before he dies, it is that his sons and daughters’ first words were for him. So as the dying King David said to his heir, “Be strong and show yourself a man”- 1 Kings 2:2. Bottom-line

Simon Mbevi writes in his book Dad is Destiny: “A father provides broad shoulders for the next generation to stand on so that they may go further than they would have on their own.” You will one day send your own children into that swirling vortex of culture, and the thing that will give you some peace of mind is that you were there right from the cradle to show them the way.

THINGS YOUNG PEOPLE NEED TO THINK ABOUT

Compiled by Laton Leparan & Jennifer Omondi

IV/AIDS is a real disease that continues to ravage through the society like wild fire. Though it is possible to live a happy life despite infection – everyone will agree that prevention is always better than cure. Below are a few facts & figures relating to HIV/AIDS: • There over 1 billion people globally aged between the ages of 15 and 24. 10 million of these are living with HIV (UNFPA) • 6,000 youth are infected with the virus daily (UNFPA) • Women between the ages of 15 and 24 are four times more likely to get infected than men. • There are 1.6 million people living with HIV/AIDS in Kenya (UNAIDS)

Though there are several factors that lead to the prevalence of these numbers, the primary cause is the lack of education particularly among the youth. Let us use the

example of Mike. Mike is at his campus room getting ready for the thumping party going down on Friday afternoon. Everyone is hyped up, and he has been having his eye on Lucy. She has been sending him vibes which he wishes to cash in on this weekend. The party is a blast, Mike and Lucy get absolutely drunk, and end up back in Mike's bedroom. Lucy leaves in the morning – Mike is super excited, his dream came true. A few weeks down the line – Mike begins to feel unwell. His symptoms get him down, and so he decides to go and have an all-round test. His doctor looks concerned at his symptoms. He decides to test Mike for HIV/AIDS. The test results prove the worst – Mike is HIV positive. It is done – there is nothing he can do about it. The life he envisioned flashes before his eyes and he now has to deal with the new blow that life has dealt. The good thing about this story is that Mike does not exist. This is a fictional story. The

truth is that most young people are either Mike before or after that weekend. We are all one wrong choice away from that helpless situation, and final decree that life can deal. Analyzing what Mike did wrong is what will ultimately save your life. Below are a few of the things young people need to think of before making choices like these: • Is the moment of pleasure worth the possible consequences? • Am I willing to bear the burden of the choices I make alone? The truth is that most people will not be there to help you through the difficulty of being infected – you can get through it by God's grace – but it will not be easy – again – prevention is better than cure. According to the UNFPA, an active campaign against AIDS in Uganda led to decline of HIV infections among pregnant teenagers’ ages 15 to 19 from 22 per cent to 7 per cent between 1990 and 2000. This goes to show that the basic HIV prevention methods such as abstinence are still effective. This not only protects young people from HIV and AIDS but also from STIs, psychological, and emotional baggage – the ultimate lesson is that the breakthrough to eradicating HIV/AIDS lies in the hands of young people – be smart and take charge of your own life, it starts with you. The power of prayer we believe also needs to be emphasized in the United Nations Population Fund individual fight against http://www.unfpa.org/ all the proclivities and Women fighting Aids in Kenya temptations of life. http://www.wofak.or.ke We as a human race can win this fight.

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image source: office.microsoft.com

HIV & Youth

the housemates

naked face Episode #2:

A SUSPENSFUL THRILLER:

NGINA GATHERS UP THE NERVE FOR A FACE-TO-FACE CONFRONTATION WITH HER ATTACKER AS SHE TRIES TO COME TO TERMS WITH HER NEARDEATH EXPERIENCE. THIS IS THE SECOND PART IN A SERIES BY DOUD NJOROGE.

gina had sat fidgeting through several cases in the Kiambu County courthouse. Her presence here was not required, but she was anxious to see the scar-faced gunman and hear about his fate. Today was five days after the hijacking incident, in which her father had been shot and wounded. The incident had attracted some media interest because an eminent politician and her family had been involved. And now there was some political pressure on the Kiambu county commander to expedite the indictments of the two suspects in police custody. Ngina could not glean any new information from that, so she had contacted a policeman friend of her fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s to find out more

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about the gunman. His name was Mboya, the policeman told her, and he was being remanded in Muthaiga pending his transfer to the Kiambu town holding where he would be tried. He had made a full confession of the crime upon his arrest and had worked out a plea bargain with the county prosecutor. His information had led to the apprehension of his accomplice within twenty-four hours of the incident. And since there would be no court summons of any witnesses in his case, she decided to be in court at his arraignment. She had to beg the policeman not to report back anything to her ailing father about her interest in this case. She needed to get her own answers in order to make sense of that unusual episode.  The scar-faced man was escorted in handcuffs by a uniformed officer into the accused’s dock. Ngina watched him. He wore the same clothes that he had on during the carjacking. Standing there he casually scanned the gallery, not really expecting to see any friendly faces. Unlike the other suspects she had seen presented that day, he appeared impressively calm and somewhat indifferent to the proceedings. Yet despite the expressionless countenance, he had a rather pleasant-looking face. But she resolved not to pity him, especially if she would later find out that it was his gun that had shot her father. The court came into session and the court clerk begun reading the charges: “Junius Mwithi Mboya is here charged with the crime of robbery with violence contrary to section 296 subsection 2 CAP 63 of the Penal Code. The particulars of the offense are briefly these: On the 24th day of July of this year, near Thindigua Shopping Centre Junius Mboya and two others did commandeer a vehicle belonging to one John-Jacob Oulu, seizing four occupants with intent to commit a crime.” In his bench, the elderly magistrate languidly thumbed through his papers. Then when the court clerk had finished, he looked over his thick black frames at the accused and in Swahili said, “So, young man— I see here that the prosecutor has countersigned an affidavit that details your confession. That in the process of the carjacking you foiled your own companions, killing one of them.

That you then drove the victims in their vehicle to the nearest health centre for medical attention. “That you afterward submitted yourself voluntarily to police custody whereupon you, of your own free will, wrote and signed a certified confession and entered into a plea agreement with the prosecutor’s office. "You've spared the judicial system both time and cost in trying this case. And now, in light of your heroic actions to undo your crime, you are in hopes that, despite your existing criminal record, the

We had come for Madam Mheshimiwa... Just because we failed to do the job doesn’t mean that our employers have given up their ambition. court would give you a merciful sentence. How do you plead?” “Guilty, your honour,” the accused said. After the court session Ngina went to the Kiambu Police Station and met her father’s friend. He had offered to set things up for her there. He conducted her to the visitor’s bay after the suspects had been transferred back to holding from the courthouse. The prisoner winced with surprise to see Ngina seated behind the window grill. He slowly sat down. “Five minutes,” the officer said to her and left.  Dispensing with salutations, Ngina said, “How do you know me?” He paused then said, “High school. We were classmates and we once sat next to each other in your mum’s form three biology class. I had this massive, fouryear crush on you." He chortled. "I hated bio, but I liked your mum. She offered to

give me private lessons after class—she told me, 'Junius, the day you get an A in biology, you have my permission to marry my daughter!'" He chortled again. "So how's your mum?” Ngina did not remember him at all, but it seemed to account for his extraordinary actions that day. “Did you shoot my father?” she asked bluntly. He unabashedly held her gaze, then shook his head. “No, that was the other guy, he was always very eager to be violent. That’s why the people who sent us wanted him there. We had come for Madam Mheshimiwa. Seems she couldn’t be persuaded against making some county legislation that would’ve been bad business for—um, for our employers. We were told to make it look like another messy carjacking in which a politician was tragically involved.” He sighed. “It was supposed to be a clean job, you see, none of you was to live. So none of us cared to show naked face. We’d take wallets, phones, that sort of thing, to throw off police investigation. Of course, I did not include that in my confession statement— I mean, that it was politically motivated.” “Won’t your partner, the one who got arrested, confess to that?” “No, not likely. As much as there’s now bad blood between us— well, she’s clever enough not to make her predicament worse just to spite me.” “She? The other guy was a woman?!” Ngina exclaimed. He nodded, his face showing some amusement. He said, “I’ve done work with her before, she’s really good with cars— and guns, occasionally. She won’t talk, at least for her own sake. We both know that our employers might send someone in to silence us forever. But life in prison is the most immediate concern as these things go. We’ll talk the moment we feel our lives depend on it.” He sounded intelligent, she thought She then asked, “Why are you telling me all this, don’t you fear that I might report it?” “That’s up to you. But you might want to warn Madam Mheshimiwa. Just because we failed to complete the job doesn’t mean that our employers have given up their ambition. Obviously, I cannot tell you who my employers are—” He looked at her quizzically, appearing to want to say

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more with the least bit encouragement from her. But she worried, would knowing more be safe for her?  Ngina left the police station just after midday. When she turned her phone back on it rang immediately. She groaned. It was that Nolan. She had successfully ignored his calls all morning. “I found you a one-room flat on Mbagathi Way,” he announced when she answered. “It’s the quiet, clean sort of place that you’d like.” “H-how did you know I was looking?” Ngina asked with a keen tone. There was a momentary silence on the other end. “Ah— Remy called me, said you needed my help.” “I asked her to help me,” she said angrily. “Oookay Ngina dear, you’ll have to yell at her about that, eh?” He paused. “Say, Ngina, should you be going about like this? I mean, you had a traumatic experience just last week— maybe you should talk to someone— a professional.” She didn’t respond. He said, “So how’s your old man doing?” “He’s fine,” Ngina said. “Mum’s kinda living at the hospital with him." She sighed. "How much is it going for?” “What? Oh, the flat? It’s within your budget— umm, Remy told me that you wanted a low-rent place.” “Of course she did! What else did she tell you?” “That you still read the journal we kept together. I thought you said you threw it away.” “No, I said I had burned it.” “I see. So— you’re only reading the copies you made before you burned it?!” “I don’t know why I tell that girl anything!” Ngina mumbled under her breath as she rubbed the throbbing vein in her temple. “Yes Nolan, I was hoping to find a place on Mbagathi. It’s a convenient distance to town and church. Have you talked to the owner?” “Yeah, jana,” Nolan said excitedly. “I saw him posting the ad. It said ‘Clean, Spacious Room For Single, Young Lady.’ He owns a three-bedroom on Nyayo Highrise, it’s a second floor apartment. When I saw it I begged him to take down the ad for half a day. I mean literally, begging— on my knees on the floor, grovelling—”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to bunk with a man interested in single, young women— or to live so close to my ex for that matter!” He laughed loudly. “Ngina, think of it as living on the same side of town as me. After all, my place is a whole ten blocks away. Anyway, this guy’s doesn’t seem interested in making money which is why his ask is lower than the going rate. I think

I don’t think it’s a good idea to bunk with a man interested in single, young women— or to live so close to my ex for that matter! he just wants a vacant room occupied. The time you have left on your lease agreement isn’t enough for you to get an offer as good as this one.” “Well, I’ll still have to think about it Nolan. Plus I’ve got other housing options to weigh.” “Sawa, but you only have until 2pm leo to decide. Otherwise he’s putting the ad back up. A place wallpapered and tiled like that, and at that amount— it'll be taken in a moment. If you’d picked up my calls earlier you’d’ve had more time to decide.” A long silence interposed. Then Nolan spoke: “By the way, I talked to some agents afterward and they say he is a bit neurotic. Five tenants have moved out in the past eight months. He has weird house rules. Just thought you’d wanna know.” “Gee thanks! Look, I’m coming to see the house now.” “Excellent! Better get here by 2pm though. He said he has a flight in a few hours and is serious about leaving this issue sorted.”  Ngina and Remy had been roommates during college and since. Now they had only three days left on their lease, one of which was to be spent moving out. The landlord was adamant in his refusal to

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renew the lease or extend the old one. He wasn’t happy about their piecemeal payment behaviour over the past months. “You should live with your boyfriends if you cannot afford rent,” he had said when he was yelling at them. Ngina was a freelance researcher; Remy an occasional product merchandiser whose earnings mostly paid for her evening class tuition. Twice their bad months had coincided and they would have been evicted had Nolan not paid their rent. The second time he paid for the following month’s also, just to appease the landlord. She was still with him at the time.  In the matatu back into the city Ngina was thoughtful. Confronted with the immediate moving expenses, money needed to put down a deposit and the first months’ rent— she wondered how it could be worked out. It was not reasonable to hope that some of her clients could be induced to pay just in time. Nolan would be only too happy to pay everything. But she could not conscientiously accept his help this time. It would inevitably encourage his advances, and she wished to have very little to do with him at this time. After two years together he had admitted to cheating on her. He had sworn that it only happened once, but how could she believe that? And with her ailing father, she already had a lot to deal with. She would work it out with Remy. They always did, despite their bitter wrangles on every point where money was involved. They had saved a little amount, but she still wondered how far it would go. If God could pull her from the edge of death, surely it was a small thing for Him to bear her through this housing crisis. The heavy midday traffic on Thika Road crawled forward intermittently. She glanced at her wristwatch again. There was no way she was going to get to Mbagathi Way by 2pm. And, truthfully, she had no other housing options that she was weighing. She impulsively retrieved her phone from her bag and begun to text: Tell owner we’ll take the flat. Thx Nole  NEXT EPISODE: “WHAT A DAY MAY BRING”

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LIFE-QUENCH

we live in a consumerist day inflames our vanity society that day by for Laton Leparan Finally more and more. asks: Where is the

BALANCE? photo credits: gatag.com

plus Tips of the areas you want tofour IMPORTANT focus on...

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The bible and a relationship with God will allow you to weather any storm. The certainty of winning comes only if you are walking with God, and under his divine guidance, as well as being in line with his will...

iving in a world primarily moving for more, more, and more, we begin to believe that more is always better. More money, more friends, more of everything. To be honest, it is very difficult to identify exactly what is to blame in this matter. However, there is something that suffers greatly, and that is balance. I will therefore outline the areas of life that need to be taken care of, and also the necessity of focusing on each of these areas appropriately. These do vary from age to age and also socio-economic status; however, we can all find ways to introduce these aspects into our lives in one way or another. #1: your mind. Your mind is a great asset, and it is also a machine. Like all machines, it needs to be used and oiled from time to time. You have to feed your mind, by reading, and looking through complex things that challenge your intellect. In a country where reading is often thrown on the back burner – that is to say that we only read if we have to – it is crucial that we give this a conscious effort. I believe that the best way to form a habit is to introduce it early. If you are blessed to have young ones, buy them some children's books, and go out somewhere, and tell them it’s time to read. Sit with your book, and give them theirs. Slowly by slowly they will normalise this habit, and when they are in their teens and early adulthood you will notice their natural gravitation towards reading and this will certainly reflect in their spoken and written intellect. Give this a try. But remember, it starts with you because as we have all learnt, children don't do what you say, they do what you do. This is also where your work life comes in, work engages your mind, and is good for you.

#2: your spirituality. This is very crucial, you must make sure that you have a place to carry all your burdens, all your weaknesses, and dangerous proclivities. A place from which you can find hope, even in the midst of hopelessness. A place where you can find your purpose, your map to God's destiny. For me my bible and prayer is the source of this. The bible and a relationship with God will allow you to weather any storm. The certainty of winning comes only if you are walking with God, and under his divine guidance, as well as being in line with his will. The reason I say this is because winning is only real if it is going to end well, and this I can say conclusively, is reserved exclusively for the will of God (things only end well if you are in God's will). #3: your relationships. These must be healthy and active. Relationship with your wife or husband, your children, your parents, your siblings, your friends, your workmates, and the society at large. I will give you some structure you can use for these kinds of relationships. The most intimate relationships should be with your wife or husband, your children, and your close family members. These must have top priority, no matter how messed up they may be, you are bound by blood. It is not advisable to have a clique of over four people who you 'hang with'. This holds you back, because you are a slave to the invisible rules of the click, such as, “You cannot succeed beyond a certain point because then we will not be able to relate with you”. It is advisable to do a clean-up of your life, to get rid of the gossip Kings and Queens, and if you are one, to clean up your act. Settle for one or two good friends and because of the relativity of the word good, I will expound. A good friend is one who you can open

“YOU CANNOT SUCCEED BEYOND A CERTAIN POINT BECAUSE THEN WE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO RELATE WITH YOU”.

up to, the person who knows your secrets, and you know theirs, yet you still love one another, the one who will sleep with you in hospital when you are sick. The one who will drop your children home for you if you are unable to make it to school to pick them up, the one who will not tolerate it if people are talking about you behind your back – these are the only friends you need. Your relationship with society is what you give back to them, this is in your full discretion, as it should be governed by your passion, and calling. #4: your health What you eat, and your exercise are vital components that contribute to your health. Ensure that you maintain balance in what you eat, not too much or too little of anything. Also make some time to go for a walk, a run, or whatever. Give yourself some physical exercise. A bike ride, a round of golf, football, a weekend away with friends, a family trip, a massage, and even just taking it easy at home are also good ways to restore yourself.

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Recipes

WHAT’S IN A

POTATO? A balanced meal isn’t complete until it contains carbohydrates, the energy giving foods. To break the monotony of eating ugali or githeri every evening, why not try potatoes. To avoid the ever tempting fried potatoes or chips, boil potatoes to make mashed potatoes. To add flavor to your mashed potatoes, include butter or margarine and milk when mashing. Potatoes are both delicious and nutritious. They contain antioxidants that help fight cancer. Potatoes also contain potassium that helps regulate blood pressure. With added nutrient manganese they aid in bone health. They are also rich in Vitamin B6 which aids in creation of red blood cells. To maximize on these nutrients create a delicious meal for your family or guests: the shepherd pie. INGREDIENT FOR A SHEPHERD’S PIE

STEPS:

1. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add potatoes and cook 15 minutes until tender but firm. Drain and mash, mix in butter, finely chopped onion and the shredded cheese. Season with salt and pepper to taste and set aside. 2. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add carrots and cook 15 minutes until tender but firm. Drain, mash and set aside. Preheat oven to 190 degrees centigrade. 3. Heat oil in a large frying pan. Add onion and cook until clear. Add minced meat until well browned. Pour off excess fat, then stir in flour and cook for 1 minute. You can add tomato puree or beef broth to make your stew thick and rich in color or just add your ordinary roiko and some water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer for 5 minutes. 4. Spread the minced meat evenly on the bottom of a casserole dish. Then spread a layer of the mashed carrots and add on top a layer of the mashed potatoes. Sprinkle the shredded cheese and bake in the oven for 20 minutes or until the top is golden brown. Garnish with parsley (dania).

image: FLICKR.com

• 4 large potatoes • 1 kg minced meat • 1 tablespoon butter • 1 tablespoon finely chopped onion • ¼ cup shredded cheddar cheese • 2 cloves garlic (minced) • Salt or pepper to taste • 5 carrots chopped or 4 cups frozen mixed vegetables of (peas, carrots, corn and green beans) • 1 tablespoon vegetable oil

Potatoes, explains Jennifer Omondi contain antioxidants that help fight cancer, they also contain potassium that helps regulate blood pressure.

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image SOURCE: GATAG.com

mirror me

MUMBI’S SONG PAUL KOROS NARRATES A HEART-TUGGING INCIDENT OF HIS ENCOUNTER WITH A STREET GIRL NAMED MUMBI. IT IS THE SAD TALE OF THE PLIGHT OF SO MANY JUST LIKE HER.

pposite the large KCB Kencom in the Central Business District, and in between Zetech and Standard Chartered, a practice of child neglect and psychological abuse has been allowed to run rampant. As I’m walking to my bus stop near the National Museum at around 8pm, I feel a gentle tap on my thigh. Having been a victim of circumstances before, I instinctively reach down to catch the pick-pocketer in the act only to stare into the eyes of a timid little girl; from whose stature I deduce must be no more than 6 years old. I immediately release my vice-like grip and am overcome by a surge of emotion as she opens her palm, then touches her mouth with the tips of her fingers repeatedly. This is a sight we are all too familiar with, but on this occasion, the fact that this poor, feeble girl who should have been in bed, tired from a day at kindergarten, was instead exhausted from another day of soliciting the generosity of non-chalant Nairobians, made me sit

back and pay attention, literally. I took my place at a well-designated jobless corner for 30 minutes and just observed the little girl as she went about her work. I soon realized that Mumbi (as I shall refer to her for convenience’s sake) had a modus operandi.

For an instance, I am overwhelmed with an urge to walk to the FOUR ladies and give them the beating of their lives. She would target men who were in the company of a woman, her reasoning being that these men must be more compassionate than the other men out there for them to have a lady by their side. Mumbi would then solicit the man and not the woman every time, probably being wise enough to know that he would be forced to look good in the eyes of his lady

friend and give her some money. Based on the fact that only two men walking alone gave her money as compared to every man she asked who happened to be in the company of a lady, she probably knew exactly what she was doing. My attention shifts to a boy child whom I hadn’t noticed before. Presumably Mumbi’s slightly older brother, he is clad in a hoodie, tattered jeans and gumboots and is sucking a lollipop like it’s the only meal he’s had in days. In contrast to his sister, he has no preferences and asks whomever for money. He even seems to have confidence as he does so. Many people pat his head affectionately, recognizing his presence and endeavor, but none stop to give him anything. Seeing this I decide to break my remaining 100 Shilling note, knowing that 60 Shillings is enough to get me home, and give him two 20 bob coins. He receives it and starts walking off into an ally when a ‘Wewe! Weka hapa!’ stops him in his track. I try to look for the source of his fear when an even more traumatic and enraging realization hits me. On the sidewalk are seated four miserly-looking women, thoroughly engrossed in trivial gossip. As soon as the boy tries making off with his 40 bob winnings, one of them leaps to her feet and grabs him by his collar, commanding him to put the two coins in her cup. He grudgingly obliges and goes back to begging the numerous strangers walking to their homely destinations, all with their own lives to live, completely oblivious to these children’s doomed lives. For an instance, I am overwhelmed with an urge to walk to the four ladies and give them the beating of their lives. How can these vultures kick back and gossip all day while their infant children are forced to become their breadwinners? One is led to believe that getting as many 20 bob coins into their mothers cups as possible is the only assurance that these children have of a meal that night, a place to sleep (be it next to their vulture mothers) or worse even, affection in their mother’s eyes. My heart is heavy as I pick my body up to go and continue living a blessed life that I hardly deserve, thinking of Mumbi all the while. I may never see her again, and if I do, I certainly won’t remember her. All I have to give her are my words, that they may be seen and do for her more than a 20 bob ever could.

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Fun Pages

MOVIE REVIEW

POETRY

Annie (2014)

GENRE:Comedy, Drama, Family, Musical STARRING: Quvenzhane Wallis, Jamie Foxx, Cameron

Diaz, Rose Byrne, Bobby Cannavale, David Zayas, Adewale AkinnuoyeAgbaje, Dorian Missick, Tracie Thoms RATING: Excellent  RATED: PG - Parental Guidance for some mild language and rude humour DURATION: unknown

ODYSSEY

By Raha Mwathi My sight begins to change the journey full of unknown twists and turns it calls everything of me more than it seems I hold inside confusion characterizes me now a fragility and vulnerability I cannot explain will I ever be strong to walk again? the walls shake around me the buttresses that hold me up crumble no matter how much I try to stand change is inevitable yet what it brings only You know in Your infinite power You see how it can be good my brokenness brings me to You You remain unchanged my anchor You are as I fall on my knees in my weakness show me how I will wake give me light to face the road ahead to be without You means I will disintegrate, disappear be no more I am because You are

This is a humorous story of a zealous girl whose life takes a new turn when she bumps onto a wealthy politician. Despite her tough life as an orphan, it seems her positive attitude won’t let her stay down. In a desperate act to win votes as the next New York mayor, he’s advised to take in the foster child from Harlem. Annie is excited to leave behind her mean foster mother and move into the politician’s mansion. What happens next is a mix of emotions and politics but through the eyes of a child. This heartwarming story will show you that even the hardest of hearts can be moved with compassion. It’s suitable for the entire family and would make for a good feel movie.

Dumb and Dumber 2 GENRE: Comedy STARRING: Jim Carrey, Jeff

Daniels, Laurie Holden, Kathleen Turner, Rob Riggle RATING: Excellent  RATED: PG 13 DURATION: 110 Minutes

This is the sequel of the original hilarious hit movie Dumb and Dumber. Starring the uninhibited duo Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels, Dumb and Dumber 2 will crack your ribs. The two characters reunite in this captivating story as they discover one of them is a dad. They embark on finding the estranged child which leads to unexpected adventure. The anticipation for the new role as a ‘dad’ brings with it the realization that there’s a difference between being a father and bringing up a child. This movie will truly break you out of your guarded self as you go through the motions of humour and theatrics. It’s a must-see movie for anyone looking to laugh and forget about serious stuff.

COMIC STRIP and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out comes the pocket calculators. Money A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale. Bathrooms A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE Nicknames If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes. Eating Out When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller

Arguments A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. Future A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. Success A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

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A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Marriage A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does. Dressing Up A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. Natural Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. Offspring Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. Thought For The Day A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing! Source: http://www.pedagonet.com

Tulips Restaurant

At Tulips Restaurant, we pride ourselves on our service, quality of food and family atmosphere. From appetizers to main course to dessert, we have a variety of food that should please everyone. Tulips Restaurant is located on Mandera Road, Kileleshwa

Postal: P.O. Box 50799-00100, Nairobi Tel: +254 735 350 932 / +254 078 928 Email: tulipsfp@gmail.com

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