Bereshit: Upon Waking By Yael Shy
I. In the beginning 1. In the beginning God created heaven and earth.
ּׁש ַמי ִם ְואֵת ָ ּב ְֵראׁשִית ּב ָָרא אֱֹלהִים אֵת ַה.א :ָָארץ ֶ ה
2. Now the earth was astonishingly empty, and darkness was on the face of the deep, and the spirit of God was hovering over the face of the water.
ָָארץ ָהי ְתָ ה ת ֹהּו וָב ֹהּו וְחׁשְֶך עַל ְּפנֵי ֶ ְוה.ב :תְ הֹום וְרּו ַח אֱֹלהִים מ ְַר ֶחפֶת עַל ְּפנֵי ַה ָּמי ִם
3. And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.
: וַּי ֹאמֶר אֱֹלהִים יְהִי אֹור ַויְהִי אֹור.ג
- Bereshit 2:1-3 I woke up the morning after Yom Kippur into the darkness of the pre-dawn. Before I could understand why – before I could articulate any thought at all, I felt open and raw, empty and vulnerable. Yom Kippur is a rehearsal for death as we abstain from eating, drinking, and life-affirming activity. In the stillness of its aftermath, on the morning after, I felt the “astonishing emptiness” ( )ת ֹהּו וָב ֹהּוof a new start – a rebirth into life. For a brief few minutes, in that darkness, I felt the limitless realm of possibility, empty of ideas of how things should be and filled with only the beauty and preciousness of how things are. The beginning was not really the beginning (because there was no future or past) – it was the infinite, the always, the “spirit of God” ( ruach elohim, )רּו ַח אֱֹלהִים. And then, of course, my eyes adjusted to the light. I realized I was thirsty and probably still dehydrated. The details of my life – my biography, my history, my desires and aversions – all came flooding back to me. The idea of myself as a separate entity, contained within a separate body, assumed its normal hold of my mind. David Whyte has a beautiful poem called What to Remember When Waking where he describes this process:
1
“In that first hardly noticed moment in which you wake, coming back to this life from the other more secret, moveable and frighteningly honest world where everything began, there is a small opening into the new day which closes the moment you begin your plans.” But something lingered from my morning of emptiness. A new space was created in my consciousness – a pause, a whisper, a memory of the unity that was (and is) lurking just beneath the surface. The pettiest of problems softened their grip on me. Something had shifted. Something new was born. Avivah Zornberg writes that when God says “let there be” in Bereshit, “‘to be’ is represented as a sort of jelling process, as the formless liquid, primary substance finds its limits in space, solidifies, assumes its proper forms.” She describes this coming to be as “trembling” “a movement and shuddering” “a fluttering, vacillating mode.” As the substance congeals, she quotes Rashi, who describes “being” as standing “in dryness and strength,” or “finding a place to stand.” That “standing” is the creation taking shape. (The Beginning of Desire, 6-7). Is the new “being” really new? Yes and no – it is its first time all the forces of the universe congeal and take shape in that particular way, in that particular moment. At the same time, physics tells us that the forces themselves - energy and matter – are never created or destroyed. The raw materials of today’s existence is the same as ever was or will be. Rilke puts it beautifully: Will transformation. Oh be inspired for the flame in which a Thing disappears and bursts into something else; the spirit of re-creation which masters this earthly form loves most the pivoting point where you are no longer yourself. … He who pours himself out like a stream is acknowledged At last by Knowledge; And she leads him enchanted through the harmonious country That finishes often with starting, and with ending begins. - Letters to Orpheus
2
II. Breathed into life And the Lord God formed human of dust from the ground, and [God] breathed into its nostrils the soul of life, and the human became a living soul. - Bereshit 2:7
ַוּי ִיצֶר י ְהֹוָה אֱֹלהִים אֶת הָָאדָ ם ָעפָר מִן.ז ׁשמַת ַחּי ִים ַויְהִי הָָאדָ ם ְ ִָהאֲדָ מָה ַוּיִּפַח ְּב ַאּפָיו נ ְלנֶפֶׁש ַחּי ָה
The very first human breath starts with God – with the immensity and immediacy of all that is – breathing us into existence. It strikes me as so intimate and so beautiful. This divine “wind,” “soul,” “breath” (all definitions for the Hebrew word, neshama) that animates the dust pumps life through my lungs, my bloodstream, my body. When I focus on the breath and the feeling of simply being alive, I am flooded with an immense gratitude and a feeling like I don’t have to work so hard to be “good” or worthy. I’m allowed to relax. Somehow I have this life. Somehow this breath keeps arriving. For a reason I will never know, God (existence) continues to give me life for one more moment. How dare I deem myself unlovable when every single force in creation is loving me into being? When I realize this, I feel a soft and gentle feeling of being taken care of by the world. My only job – the only natural outcome of paying attention to this incredible gift of breath – seems to be to give love back. The shema and the prayers around this make this point very clear. They begin with Ahava Raba (Deep is Your love for us, Unnamable, our God, abiding Your compassion). They move to the Shema (Hear, you who struggle with god: the Unnamable, your God, the Unnamable is One). They conclude with the Ve’ahavata (And you shall love the Unnamable, your God with all your heart and with all your breath and with all your might). We are loved by God into existence, we are a part of God (even when we struggle against this), and our response to becoming aware of this is to love God back, with every breath. This is where we begin our journey together. In the beginning that is only sort-of the beginning, and in breath that is really love. I look forward to continuing to study and practice with you!
3
The Institute for Jewish Spirituality’s mission is to develop and teach Jewish spiritual practices so that individuals and communities may experience greater awareness, purpose, and interconnection. Learn more jewishspirituality.org
Inspired by ancient Jewish wisdom, OneTable is a national non-profit that empowers folks (21-39ish) to find, share, and enjoy Shabbat dinners, making the most of their Friday nights. Our social dining platform makes it easy for you to become the producer of your own experiences, and for Shabbat dinner to become a platform for community building. We provide simple DIY tools so hosts can get right to welcoming people to a Shabbat dinner in their home, so guests can savor a Friday meal, and for all to experience unique events for Shabbat dinners right in their neighborhood. We do this because we believe good food and good conversation with great people is simply good for you. Led by our core values of joy, welcoming, and elevation, we envision a whole generation of young people slowing down, getting together, unplugging from the week, creating intention in their lives, and building meaningful communities. Find Your Friday onetable.org
4