Emor: After the Ecstasy
Many years ago, in the blissful high after a two-week meditation retreat, I offered to give a woman a ride home. About five minutes into our four-hour ride back to our city, I realized I made a terrible mistake. The woman chattered non-stop about things I didn’t care about and I felt rude asking her to be quiet or not responding to her rapid-fire questions about myself. The peace and stillness that I felt from the retreat slowly started to evaporate and by the time I returned home, I was angry and bitter Not only was I upset about the woman, but I was upset with myself for being unable to draw boundaries and for getting frustrated and losing the beautiful feelings from the retreat. What happened to all of my mindfulness?
Parashat Emor discusses, among other issues, the role and limitations of the Kohen Gadol, the high priest By examining how the Torah treats the Kohen Gadol, perhaps we can gain some insight into how the Torah defines exemplary behavior.
The Kohen Gadol is perhaps most well known for his role on Yom Kippur. Rabbi Ari Zivotofsky relates how on the holiest day in the Jewish calendar, the Kohen Gadol would remove his elaborate garments, all eight of them, immerse in a ritual bath (mikveh), put on four white linen garments, and enter the area known as the kodesh hakodeshim – the holy of holies. The ideal Kohen Gadol was someone whose actions and behaviors made them the only person fit to enter into the most Godly space on earth. The Kohen Gadol’s life, it might be noted, could be very lonely. He was the only one allowed in the holy of holies. When he was at his spiritual height, he always isolated from other human beings.
In this week’s parsha, God tells us that the Kohen Gadol may not come into contact with any dead bodies, even in the course of burying his mother and father (21:11-12). Rav David Silverberg of Yeshivat Har Etzion writes that, “He is specially designated to serve God in the Temple, and he must therefore remain there even during times of personal tragedy” For our exemplar Jew, the responsibility to remain in holy space supersedes one of the darkest possible struggles one may face.
This suggestion is not a foreign one to anyone who tries not only to achieve but to actually remain in a state of spiritual clarity Whenever I come back from any spiritual endeavor, be it a week long meditation retreat or simply a powerful moment of prayer, I’m loath to let go of the spiritual high and let in the struggles of everyday life. In a certain sense, the Torah recognizes the impossibility of maintaining this high. It is only the Kohen Gadol, the holiest person in the
community, who can be expected to maintain his holiness, his deeply intimate connection with God in the face of tragedy.
But, you might say, shouldn’t we all aspire to the level of the Kohen Gadol? Shouldn’t we all aspire to a state of spiritual awareness in which even the death of a parent cannot tear us from our spiritual elevation?
It turns out that even the Kohen Gadol was unable to maintain such a lifestyle for very long. Rabbi Zivotofsky, referencing the Gemara, writes, “during the 420 years in which the Second Temple stood, there were four righteous Kohanim Gedolim, and more than 300 others who did not even serve a full year ” The vast majority of Kohanim Gedolim did not stay as such for very long.
There are many historical and political reasons that this may have been the case, but I want to take it purely for its metaphor Perhaps there are certain times for Kohen Gadol-ing – for supreme purification and isolating oneself with God – and times for holiness of a different kind.
I like to imagine the Kohens who didn’t make it in the “Gadol” position still found holiness in the small places of their lives. I imagine the smells of the sacrifices in the Temple and the sounds of the prayers and perhaps the very texture of the silence in the Holy of Holies animated their everyday, slightly more “regular” Kohen existence.
Jack Kornfield has a beautiful book called After the Ecstasy, The Laundry As the title suggests, the book explores the importance of staying spiritually plugged-in after the bliss on the mountaintop, the merging with the divine, and/or the time spent in the holy of holies. Kornfield writes that there is no “enlightenment retirement” and quotes Zen teacher, Katagiri Roshi who taught that the most important part of spiritual practice is not to try to escape your life, “but to face it exactly and completely.” This is how we become not just spiritual people, but wise people. This is how we become people who are able to be holy, every day, even in difficult times and times of struggle.
Spiritual highs are wonderful, and spiritual isolation through retreats and longer periods of meditation are critically important. But we can also take a cue from the metaphor of the Kohenim Gedolim who didn’t stay there, and brought that holiness and mindfulness back to everyday life: into the laundry, into the boundaries we draw with others, into each breath and each step.
The Institute for Jewish Spirituality’s mission is to develop and teach Jewish spiritual practices so that individuals and communities may experience greater awareness, purpose, and interconnection.
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