March: Forward Shabbat Dinner Guide

MARCH: FORWARD

SHABBAT DINNER GUIDE

It’s not a commemoration, it’s a continuation! We march on!

ABOUT THIS GUIDE AND SHABBAT WITH ONETABLE

In Jewish tradition, the world is created in an evolution of seven days: six days of work that culminate in the seventh day, Shabbat, a day of rest. Shabbat is not a postscript, it is as important a part of bringing the world into being as any of the days of active creativity. Judaism teaches that we, human beings, are responsible for continuing the work of creation to make the world a better place, day after day, week after week. The essence of Shabbat isn’t what we can’t do on this one day, it’s what we can do on the other six if we take the time to end our week with intention on Friday night

In building community through the ritual of Shabbat dinner, Hachnasat Orchim, or welcoming guests, is one of the most important practices. At OneTable, we express hospitality, welcoming guests or graciously being welcomed, while honoring the essential value in all human beings (kavod ha’briot).

Shabbat dinner is an opportunity to be in community and learn from and with one another. We invite you to join us by gathering people in your communities and networks for a dinner to engage in constructive dialogue with a plurality of perspectives, to address deep, painful divides in our communities, and to consider the role we can play in strengthening civil discourse and society. Use this guide as a starting point for a March: Forward dinner filled with meaning.

There are many ways to enjoy Friday night dinners and Shabbat rituals. That's why we asked five OneTable hosts to share their unique practices, and inspiration. Check out the video series and related resources to see how other hosts light candles, sanctify wine, and bless bread.

There are defining moments punctuating human experience greater than any one person – spotlighting the extraordinary power of what can happen when we work together.

The historic March on Washington 60 years ago was one such defining moment On that August day, Dr Martin Luther King, Jr. was joined by community leaders in calling for freedom and justice. Jewish leaders from ADL were proud to be among those who bore witness that day, as we did throughout the Civil Rights era.

While the injustices we are fighting may have changed, our determination has not. As we join for another March on Washington in 2023, we renew our commitment to this collective effort to realize essential change, and we do so united with communities outside our own.

Jewish tradition emphasizes the ideals of defending freedom and pursuing justice. We remember that we, too, once were slaves. The Jewish and Black communities – and those who are members of both – have made tremendous progress toward freedom, but our struggle against antisemitism and racism remains. That’s why we’re here together, again.

Coalitions are potentially transformational. Repairing our world is bigger than any one of us, but it can’t be accomplished without all of us. As we enter Shabbat together let us be inspired by this concept of mutual

MARCH: FORWARD

TEMA SMITH DIRECTOR, JEWISH OUTREACH & PARTNERSHIPS, ADL

When I think of Shabbat dinner, I think of the Friday nights of my childhood. Around our table sat family and friends of many backgrounds, engaging in lively and sometimes heated conversation about topics big and small.

Sometimes, we were in agreement. Sometimes, the differences that divided us prevented us from getting there. But, no matter what the conversation itself brought us closer, and encouraged us to take stock of each other’s perspectives and experiences, and learn from each other how we can work collectively to make our world a better place.

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. wrote, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.”

March: Forward is inspired by this basic principle — that our futures are bound up together. The kavanot the intentions accompanying the rituals in this Shabbat guide are designed to encourage reflection and spark dialogue on this theme.

As we enjoy a Friday night together, let us be guided by our dreams of a better future, and spurred to action by the injustices we see in our world today.

FRIDAY NIGHT RITUALS

LIGHT

Officially end the workweek and welcome the weekend by lighting two or more candles

SANCTIFY

Wine serves as a conduit to sanctify the seventh day of the week, the time of Shabbat, as “other,” set apart from the daily grind of the other six days

CLEANSE

A formal practice of washing hands that recalls an ancient practice during Temple times when Shabbat was accompanied by special offerings

NOURISH

Breaking bread makes a meal, to enjoy a special braided brea

APPRECIATE

The ritual of grace after meals for the food itself and a full fee

LIGHT (CANDLES)

Create light to begin Shabbat. In Jewish tradition, lighting candles at sundown on Friday is the last act of the workweek, the literal spark that carries us into the weekend. While you will find no verse in the Torah instructing you to light two candles at dusk, the rabbinic sages over the centuries linked the practice to the concepts of shamor Shabbat and zachor Shabbat, the commandments to keep and remember Shabbat.

The beauty of Jewish tradition is not its certitude but its ambiguity; even the rabbis disagree on what exactly it means to keep and remember Shabbat

What might it mean for you? While it’s heartening that the rabbis took the time to create a text-based conceptual framework around the practice of creating light, it is possibly more remarkable and in its way even more spiritually moving to recognize that the ritual of candle lighting is first and foremost a practical exercise. Before there was electricity, an embedded candle lighting ritual ensured that you and your friends would not be celebrating Shabbat in the dark In fact the Jewish legal sources clearly state that if you can only afford to buy one thing for Friday night it should be candles, because if you can’t see your table, your wine, your food, your guests, it’s impossible to enjoy Shabbat.

Many Jewish celebrations begin with the lighting of candles to separate the holy from the mundane. By lighting candles, one is reminded of God’s first act of creation. Just as creation began with “let there be light” so does the celebration of Shabbat.

This is the moment when Shabbat begins By lighting the candles, we begin the transition from the week to Shabbat, from the mundane to the holy.

The Goods

CANDLES AND CANDLESTICKS

Try for at least two, but this is a place to experiment; some folks like to light two candles per home, others light two per person.

MATCHES

A lighter also works, but we prefer matches for the olfactory effect.

SAFE PLACE TO LET 'EM BURN

Ideally your Shabbat candles will burn out on their own over the course of the evening, but do blow them out if you’re heading out after dinner.

BLESS

Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha’olam asher kidshanu b’mitzvotav vitzivanu l’hadlik ner shel Shabbat.

Blessed is the Oneness that makes us holy through our actions and honors us with the light of Shabbat. or

Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Who commands us to kindle the light of Shabbat.

REFLECTION

MARTIN LUTHER KING III + ARNDREA WATERS KING

Sixty years ago, my father, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., stood at the Lincoln Memorial and delivered what was to become his most well-known speech, “I have a dream”, where he proclaimed, “Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy.”

Today, we are still working to realize his vision. And we do it together, because when we come together as allies, our diverse voices can sound a clarion call for progress that is more powerful than any one of us alone can achieve.

As the candles are lit, welcoming in this Sabbath of solidarity, allyship, and action, we renew my father’s dream that the day will come when “all of God's children, Black men [and women] and white men [and women], Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: Free at last. Free at last. Thank God almighty, we are free at last.”

Martin Luther King III, the oldest son of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mrs. Coretta Scott King, is the Chairman of the Board of the Drum Major Institute, an organization founded by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in 1961.

Arndrea Waters King is the President of the Drum Major Institute and has dedicated herself to serving humanity as a passionate leader in the global fight against inequity, injustice, hate crimes, and all forms of pain.

SANCTIFY (WINE)

Pour a glass of wine or grape juice and sanctify Shabbat before drinking

Pretty much all Jewish ceremonies and celebrations involve wine, and Shabbat dinner is no exception. But ritual doesn’t exist for the sake of itself, it exists to accomplish something, almost like an ancient form of technology

While it’s tempting to imagine that our sages simply decided to sweeten celebratory practices from births to weddings with wine because, well, wine, they actually do it because the wine itself is like a switch: flip it, and we’ve set time apart, made it special, holy, other. It’s not about the wine itself, it’s about what it has the power to do when we raise our glass with intention.

That’s the magic of kiddush, from the Hebrew word for holy our ability to demarcate time, to say that this Friday night, this Shabbat dinner, this exact moment, which has never occurred before and never will again, is special. Cheers to that!

Through the blessing of the wine (kiddush), one acknowledges two of God’s greatest gifts: creation of the world and the exodus from Egypt. Kiddush also creates a moment to express gratitude for Shabbat. It is composed of two blessings: to bless the wine and to sanctify the day.

In Judaism, wine represents joy By taking a moment to bless the wine, we acknowledge joy as a value onto itself, not as it serves something else.

The Goods

TASTY BEVERAGE

The traditional go-to is the fruit of the vine, wine or grape juice. If you don’t have wine or grape juice, or just feel like experimenting, use a beverage you don’t normally drink throughout the week, perhaps another type of juice, a mocktail, or maybe beer or whiskey (depending on what kind of week you had).

KIDDUSH CUP

Your favorite cup, a cup reserved for this purpose, not your everyday cup. At some point, people got the idea that a kiddush cup has to be a chalice or a goblet or something.

Nope. As long as it holds about four ounces of liquid or more, what matters about the cup is that it’s different, special, other.

Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha’olam borei p’ri ha’gafen. Baruch Atah Adonai mikadesh ha’Shabbat.

Blessed is the Oneness that creates the fruit of the vine Blessed is the Oneness that sanctifies Shabbat. or

Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Creator of the fruit of the vine. Blessed are You, Lord our God, Who sanctifies Shabbat.

BLESS REFLECTION

RABBI SANDRA LAWSON

As we gather here tonight, we are mindful of a historical event that ignited a flame of hope and justice in our nation. On this Shabbat, we commemorate the March on Washington and reflect on the powerful words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Dr. King’s dream echoes through the ages, reminding us of our shared responsibility to work toward equity, equality and justice not just for ourselves but for all. We celebrate the progress we have made, but we also acknowledge the challenges that persist.

Just as Dr. King envisioned, we strive for a society that embraces diversity and rejects discrimination, bigotry and racism. We stand in solidarity with those who face barriers to voting, who seek equal access and opportunity, and who endure the pain of discrimination, bias, bigotry, and hatred.

May this Kiddush motivate us to actively pursue a more just, equitable, and inclusive society. Let us stand together in solidarity, regardless of our backgrounds, and work together to create a world where every individual is valued and empowered. L'chaim, to life and the pursuit of justice.

Rabbi Sandra Lawson works as the inaugural Director of Racial Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion at Reconstructing Judaism. She’s also an activist, a public speaker, and a musician.

CLEANSE (HAND WASHING)

Wash your hands before the meal.

The practice of hand washing dates back, all the way back to the time of the first and second Temple period when the Israelites made special offerings on Shabbat In order to make these offerings, they needed to cleanse their hands with fresh water then raise up their hands and recite a blessing.

The Goods

FRESH TAP WATER

Head to the kitchen

A CUP FOR WASHING

Ideally one with two handles, although any cup with a handle works

Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha’olam asher kidshanu

b’mitzvotav vitzivanu al netilat yadayim

Blessed is the Oneness that makes us holy through our actions and honors us as we raise up our hands. or

Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Who sanctifies us with commandments and commands us to raise up our hands.

REFLECTION

RABBI ISAIAH ROTHSTEIN

Shabbat provides the opportunity for humanity to take a step back from the constant contact with technology, media, and the news, and be reminded that all that I create with my hands can be lifted up to higher purpose. During the six days of the week, with my hands I am a creator, but on the seventh day I become a creation.

The ritual of washing one's hands is an ancient custom dating back well before the era of the Jerusalem Temples, and originates with laws of ritual purity and soul-food. The Hebrew word for “hand and hand” or yad-yad - די-די, is the same word for "beloved" or Yedid-דידי

The ritual of hand-washing invites us to ask: How do I know that something, or someone is beloved to me? When all my efforts are focused, when I walk hand in hand. When I lift my hands for my beloved community.

As we celebrate and commemorate the March for Jobs and Freedom and multiracial coalition led by Rev. Dr. King, may we lift our eyes, and lift each other, may we wash away what no longer serves us, and reach across the table to our fellow beloved, hand-in-hand.

Rabbi Isaiah Joseph Rothstein serves as Rabbinic Scholar and Public Affairs Advisor at Jewish Federations of North America, and is a founder of JFNA’s Initiative for Jewish Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion, the Jewish Youth Climate Movement, Kamochah, a community for Black Orthodox Jews.

NOURISH (BREAD)

Bless (then eat) the challah.

The Goods

BREAD

Preferably challah because it’s delicious in every conceivable way. But don’t stress — any bread will do. Two full loaves is ideal. Small crowd? Waste not! Serve up two pitas or two dinner rolls. Whatever kind of bread you use, take it out of its packaging and place it on its own plate on the table.

CHALLAH COVER

Any kind of cover to place over your bread, from a napkin on short notice to an ornate embroidered cloth.

SALT or HONEY

Celebrating something special like a birthday or a wedding? Skip the salt and add honey to your challah instead.

Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu Melech ha’olam ha’motzi lechem min ha’aretz

Blessed is the Oneness that brings forth bread from the earth. or

Blessed are You, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Who brings forth bread from the earth

REFLECTION

MICHAEL W. TWITTY

Challah is not necessarily a specific bread; it is a bread category sacred to Jewish concepts of time and space. Many types of bread are used as challah, of which the braided challah based on various breads from Germany, Poland, and Ukraine is a part. And yet the braided challah is tasty and beautiful and has many lessons to teach.

Its braids bring together disparate elements, connecting the unconnected. On the cover of Koshersoul, I use many challot (the plural of challah) to represent all of my identities brought together.

As we come together at this Shabbat meal, may we be as the challot— each of us seeing ourselves and our identities in the intertwined braids we were born to be.

Michael W. Twitty is a culinary historian, food writer from the Washington, D.C., area, and two-time James Beard Award winner.

APPRECIATE (BIRKAT)

Many faiths and cultures have a grace before meals, not quite as many have a grace after meals. The blessing after the meal, or Birkat ha’Mazon in Hebrew, like all Shabbat dinner rituals, evolved over time We do however have a source text for this practice in the Torah, from Deuteronomy 8:10: “When you have eaten and are satisfied, bless.”

It’s actually pretty radical that in Judaism, the ritual of grace after meals isn’t about expressing gratitude for food itself, but for food and a full feeling. To say grace therefore requires a sense of intention around the act of consumption, nourishment, and feeling good as a result.

The traditional grace after meals is long So long it makes the long version of kiddush seem short It’s long because the sages kept finding more and more things to be grateful for. Food, the earth, God, dinner hosts, parents, Shabbat, Torah, the exodus from Egypt, the list goes on.

At OneTable, we are grateful that there is also a succinct grace after meals recorded in the Babylonian Talmud (Brachot 40b) that serves precisely the same purpose in seven words of beautiful second century Aramaic. Way to show up, sages

The Goods

All you need is the intention to end your Shabbat dinner with gratitude

BLESS

Brich rachamana malka d’alma marei d’hai pita.

We are blessed with compassion by the Oneness that sustains us with bread. or Blessed are You, Merciful One, Ruler of the universe, Who sustains life with bread or

You are the Source of life for all that is, and Your blessing flows through me.

REFLECTION

MARC H. MORIAL

As we close our meal, we give thanks for both the food and friendships that have nourished us. The work we do each day requires us to draw deep for inspiration, perseverance, and energy. That work is made easier when others share in our effort, help lift up our voices, and ensure that we do not fight alone.

We have many friends and allies – those who are with us because they are us, those who are with us because they know our cause is just, and those who are with us because they know being in partnership is always more powerful than being alone. We are grateful for them all. Building partnerships is demanding work that requires us to listen, have tough conversations and compromise.

The rewards, though, are immense.

H. Morial is the President and CEO of the National Urban League, the nation's largest historic civil rights and urban advocacy organization.

Marc

Real conversations take real work. It’s normal to fear saying the wrong thing — to be vulnerable and to apologize and recover. A difficult conversation can be healthy and productive. Here are some tips for creating a brave space for your guests:

KNOW WHO’S IN THE SPACE.

Help amplify the voices of those who face racial inequality so that you can recognize the validity and reality of other experiences.

HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE

Identify whatever bias you might implicitly hold. This is okay! We all have implicit biases and we can work to deconstruct them.

LISTEN AND LEARN

Listen to understand and then speak to be understood. Empathy and a willingness to learn go a long way.

BE YOURSELF

Understanding who you are, your values, and your morals will help guide your journey.

EMBRACE THE DISCOMFORT OF NOT KNOWING

Find out what you don’t know through individual and group learning. If you make a mistake, own it. It will help you grow.

KNOW THAT CHANGE DOESN’T COME EASY

Through active engagement comes forward progress. A well-intentioned journey against racism, bigotry, and hate is a commitment not a one-time event.

anizations working to address social issues and uplift marginalized communities. Extend a helping hand to those in need through acts of kindness and charitable contributions.

VOTE

Register to vote and encourage others to exercise their civic rights and responsibilities.

SPEAK OUT

Use your voice to challenge prejudice, discrimination, and hate speech. Support those who are facing injustice by being an ally, amplifying their voices, and showing solidarity.

EDUCATE YOURSELF

Read books, articles, and watch documentaries that explore social issues and historical perspectives. Engage in conversations with individuals from diverse backgrounds to broaden your perspectives. Stay informed about current events and engage with reputable news sources to be an informed advocate.

ABOUT

OneTable is a North American Jewish non-profit organization best known for empowering folks (21-39ish) to find, share, and enjoy Shabbat dinners. We combine signature technology and a peer-to-peer engagement model to build community and connection. With a family of offerings, including Together @OneTable and Powered By OneTable, we provide spiritual and social infrastructure through a DIY online platform and empathetic, databacked solutions. We are more committed than ever to making community building accessible, inclusive, and meaningful for all—OneTable at a time.

ADL is the leading anti-hate organization in the world. Founded in 1913, its timeless mission is "to stop the defamation of the Jewish people and to secure justice and fair treatment to all." Today, ADL continues to fight all forms of antisemitism and bias, using innovation and partnerships to drive impact. A global leader in combating antisemitism, countering extremism and battling bigotry wherever and whenever it happens, ADL works to protect democracy and ensure a just and inclusive society for all.

The National Urban League is a historic civil rights organization dedicated to economic empowerment, equality, and social justice. Founded in 1910 and headquartered in New York City, the Urban League collaborates at the national and local levels with community leaders, policymakers, and corporate partners to elevate the standards of living for African Americans and other historically underserved groups.

OneTable is honored to join the family of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., the Drum Major Institute, the National Action Network, and our partners on this guide, ADL and National Urban League, as well as the other 2023 March on Washington co-chairs: Asian Americans Advancing Justice, Human Rights Campaign, Lawyer's Committee for Civil Rights Under Law, Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights, NAACP, the NAACP Legal Defense Fund, National Coalition on Black Civic Participation, National Council of Negro Women, and UnidosUS.