Lancaster County 50plus LIFE February 2016 by On-Line Publishers, Inc.

Complimentary | Lancaster County Edition | February 2016 â&#x20AC;˘ Vol. 22 No. 2

Finding Love After 50 page 22

Natural Protection for Your Heart page 20

Is This Thing On?

Tips for Safely Shopping Online Abby Stokes

You can’t see or touch the merchandise, so what makes online shopping so appealing? Well, the following three aspects, for starters:

look for Contact Us, Customer Service, or About Us. Scroll to the bottom of the page. Sometimes, what you seek (and they hide) is in very small letters at the end of the webpage.

1. Comforts of Home: You don’t need to leave your home (or office) to shop. Therefore, no parking hassles, no waiting in long lines, and no fighting for the last iPhone on the shelf.

Satisfaction & Safety Guaranteed To ensure that your credit card information is safe, most websites encrypt the page where you enter your credit card, making it safer for transmission. You’ll know the page is protected when http at the start of the website address has an added s (https) for security. A closed padlock might appear at the bottom of the browser window. An open padlock or a broken key at the bottom of the window indicates you are not on an encrypted page.

2. Global Access: Stores all over the world are at your fingertips. 3. Savings: Online retailers save on personnel and other overhead costs. They often pass the savings on to you. Start with the Familiar Get your feet wet with a visit to the

website of a “brick-and mortar” store you frequent in your area. If you shop at Home Depot, visit their website: www.homedepot.com. Is Macy’s one of your shopping spots? Visit www. macys.com. Or you could pop into the website of a catalog that you patronize. Perhaps you are a Crate & Barrel (www.crateandbarrel.com) fan or a Harriet Carter (www.harrietcarter. com) loyalist.

Be On the Lookout If, at any time, you see a customerservice number, jot it down. Websites are notorious for concealing their contact numbers. For reasons of cost, most sites prefer all correspondence to be by email. I may be old fashioned, but when I have a complaint or question, I’d like the option to speak to a human being. If you return to the website seeking out their telephone number,

please see TIPS page 5

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50plus LIFE •

To schedule a tour, please call:

2015 North Reading Road, Denver, PA 17517

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At Your Fingertips Helpful numbers, hotlines, and local businesses and organizations eager to serve you—all just a phone call away. Coins & Currency Steinmetz Coins & Currency, Inc. 350 Centerville Road, Lancaster (717) 299-1211 Dental Services American Dental Solutions 221 Rohrerstown Road, Lancaster (717) 293-7822 Dental Health Associates 951 Rohrerstown Road, Lancaster (717) 394-9231 Lancaster Denture Center 951 Rohrerstown Road, Lancaster (717) 394-3773 Smoketown Family Dentistry 2433 C Old Philadelphia Pike Smoketown (717) 556-8239 Emergency Numbers Central PA Poison Center (800) 521-6110 Office of Aging (717) 299-7979 or (800) 801-3070 Employment Lancaster County Office of Aging (717) 299-7979 Entertainment Dutch Apple Dinner Theatre 510 Centerville Road, Lancaster (717) 898-1900 Eye Care Services Campus Eye Center 2108 Harrisburg Pike, Suite 100 Lancaster (717) 544-3900 222 Willow Valley Lakes Drive Suite 1800, Willow Street (717) 464-4333 Financial Services Internal Revenue Service (717) 291-1994 U.S. Financial (800) 595-1925, ext. 2122

Gastroenterology Regional Gastroenterology Associates of Lancaster (RGAL) 2104 Harrisburg Pike, Lancaster 694 Good Drive, Suite 23, Lancaster 4140 Oregon Pike, Ephrata (717) 544-3400

Home Care Services Connections at Home VIA Willow Valley (717) 299-6941

Health & Medical Services Alzheimer’s Association (717) 651-5020

Seniors Helping Seniors (717) 208-6850

American Cancer Society (717) 397-3744 American Diabetes Association (888) DIABETES

Independent Living Services (866) 837-4235 MediQuest Staffing (717) 560-5160

Visiting Angels Living Assistance Services Hanover: (717) 630-0067 Lancaster: (717) 393-3450 York: (717) 751-2488

American Lung Association (717) 397-5203 or (800) LungUSA

Home Improvement Haldeman Mechanical Inc. 1148 Old Line Road, Manheim (717) 665-6910

American Red Cross (717) 299-5561

Bath Fitter/Kitchen Saver (877) 922-2250

Arthritis Foundation (717) 397-6271

Housing Eastwood Village Homes, LLC 102 Summers Drive, Lancaster (717) 397-3138

American Heart Association (717) 393-0725

Consumer Information (888) 878-3256 CONTACT Helpline (717) 652-4400 Disease and Health Risk (888) 232-3228 Domestic Violence (800) 799-7233 Flu or Influenza (888) 232-3228 Vein Center of Lancaster 90 Good Drive, Suite 301, Lancaster (717) 394-5401 Hearing Services Advanced Tech Hearing Aid Centers Lancaster: (717) 560-5023 New Holland: (717) 355-6035 Pennsylvania Office for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing (800) 233-3008 V/TTY

Physicians May•Grant Obstetrics & Gynecology Women & Babies Hospital with other locations in Brownstown, Columbia, Elizabethtown, Willow Street, and Intercourse (717) 397-8177 Real Estate Prudential Homesale Services Group Rocky Welkowitz (717) 393-0100 retirement Communities Colonial Lodge Community 2015 N. Reading Road, Denver (717) 336-5501 Senior Move Management Armstrong Relocation Services 1074 E. Main St., Mt. Joy (717) 492-4155 TLC Ladies (717) 228-8764 Transition Solutions for Seniors Rocky Welkowitz (717) 615-6507

Marietta Senior Apartments 601 E. Market St., Marietta (717) 735-9590

Travel AAA Central Penn (717) 657-2244

Insurance Medicare (800) 633-4227

Conestoga Tours (717) 569-1111

Medical Equipment & Supplies Hinkles Pharmacy 261 Locust St., Columbia (717) 684-2551

Passport Information (877) 487-2778 Veterans Services Lebanon VA Medical Center 1700 S. Lincoln Ave., Lebanon (717) 228-6000 or (800) 409-8771

Medical Supply (800) 777-6647 Nutrition Meals on Wheels (717) 392-4842 Pharmacies CVS/pharmacy www.cvs.com

Not an all-inclusive list of advertisers in your area.

www.50plusLifePA.com

50plus LIFE •

February 2016

Art & Antiques by Dr. Lori

Loving Our Collections

Corporate Office

3912 Abel Drive, Columbia, PA 17512 Phone 717.285.1350 • Fax 717.285.1360 Chester County: 610.675.6240 Cumberland County/Dauphin County: 717.770.0140 Berks County/Lancaster County/ Lebanon County/York County: 717.285.1350 E-mail address: info@onlinepub.com Website address: www.onlinepub.com

PRESIDENT AND PUBLISHER Donna K. Anderson

EDITORIAL

Vice President and Managing Editor Christianne Rupp Editor, 50plus Publications Megan Joyce

ART DEPARTMENT Project Coordinator Renee McWilliams Production Artists Lauren McNallen Janys Ruth

BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT Account Executives Angie McComsey Jacoby Amy Kieffer Ranee Shaub Miller Account Representatives Brantley Lefever Sales & Event Coordinator Eileen Culp Events Manager Kimberly Shaffer Marketing Coordinator Mariah Hammacher

CIRCULATION

Project Coordinator Loren Gochnauer

ADMINISTRATION Business Manager Elizabeth Duvall

Member of

Awards

50plus LIFE is published by On-Line Publishers, Inc. and is distributed monthly among senior centers, retirement communities, banks, grocers, libraries and other outlets serving the senior community. On-Line Publishers, Inc. will not knowingly accept or publish advertising which may be fraudulent or misleading in nature. Views expressed in opinion stories, contributions, articles and letters are not necessarily the views of the publisher. The appearance of advertisements for products or services does not constitute an endorsement of the particular product or service. The publisher will not be responsible for mistakes in advertisements unless notified within five days of publication. On-Line Publishers, Inc. reserves the right to revise or reject any and all advertising. No part of this publication may be reproduced or reprinted without permission of On-Line Publishers, Inc. We will not knowingly publish any advertisement or information not in compliance with the Federal Fair Housing Act, Pennsylvania State laws or other local laws.

February 2016

50plus LIFE •

Lori Verderame

Love is one of the most comthroughout their marriage. Now, of having strangers come into the mon reasons why we collect with no children or interested house to make her an offer on the objects or hand down objects. relatives to take over the collecdecoys. Objects come with emotions. tion, Irene is left in a quandary. She doesn’t know what a good Most people will not part with a She doesn’t want the duck offer looks like, either. If someone particular item or group of items decoys. Reason No. 1 is that she wants to make a killing on this if they were handed down or can’t bear to display the duck collection and buy it for a song, amassed by a loved one, family decoys as they prompt heartache. she is in a vulnerable position. member, or friend. The emotional collection reminds Now, Irene doesn’t know how I feel this way about my father’s Irene of Frank’s passing. or if she should get into the marnutcracker collection and my Reason No. 2 is the overket, and she doesn’t want to keep mother’s canister set. I wouldn’t whelming number of duck decoys the collection. Like many other part with them families of collecno matter tors, Irene never what! thought she’d be And when left alone with this someone stops vast collection. collecting or Tips for this is no longer common colable to collect, lecting problem sometimes the include chooscollection is ing one or two handed down. favorite decoys to If you can keep as a rememretain a colbrance in honor lection for the of Frank’s years of A vast collection of duck decoys becomes a late long term, collecting. collector’s passion and his widow’s problem. historically, Get an appraisthat collection al from an apwill increase praiser who does in value over time. So, hold on to now stacked in the basement. not have any financial interest in the collection if you can. Also, the vast collection is unthe decoys—doesn’t want to sell And, add to the collection familiar to Irene, a non-collector. them, doesn’t want to buy them. when you can and start to familShe can’t identify the decoys’ Be prepared to pay that appraiser iarize yourself with the collection sculptors, she can’t identify the for their expertise and time. by learning about its history and regional characteristics of each Ask the appraiser to tell you market value. decoy, and she is uninformed and the retail value of the decoy colFor many, the love of collectat the mercy of anyone with inlection, not an auction value or ing is not only commonplace, but formation about decoys and their insurance value of the collection. also comforting. At other times, market value. She knows these Take some time to consider a collection can be a burden and buyers may take advantage of her. the market information and then present new problems. When a She realizes that auctions may make a decision about how you collection comes to you from a not be the best place to sell the will act. Don’t be hasty. Get infordeceased loved one, the situation collection because Frank got mation so you can make a good may prove difficult. many of his best decoy bargains decision. For instance, when Frank, a by buying at auctions. If a buyer Celebrity Ph.D. antiques appraiser, longtime collector of duck decoys, at an auction is getting a bargain, author, and former museum direcpassed away, his collection bethen the person selling the decoy tor, Dr. Lori hosts antiques appraisal came the property and project of at auction must have lost money events worldwide. Dr. Lori is the star his widow. on the transaction. appraiser on Discovery channel. Visit Like most widows of collecSince Irene can’t tell one wood- www.DrLoriV.com/Events, www.Fators, Irene was happy that Frank en duck from another, she begins cebook.com/DoctorLori, or call (888) enjoyed the process of collecting to worry. She doesn’t like the idea 431-1010. www.50plusLifePA.com

TIPS from page 2 If the unfortunate happens and someone abuses your credit card (and, remember, the Internet may not have even played a role in the event), under federal law your liability is limited to $50. If a breach of security on the part of the website revealed your credit card information, the website should pay this amount for you. The American Bar Association has an informative website: www. safeshopping.org. (Note: It is .org, not .com.) Visit their site for more information before you start shopping on the Internet. If something happens that warrants you bringing in the big guns, contact the Better Business Bureau at www. bbbonline.org. You could also fill out a complaint form with the Federal Trade Commission at www.ftc.gov. Type â&#x20AC;&#x153;complaintâ&#x20AC;? in the internal search engine. You Are in Control If a website is really confusing or poorly designed, feel free to abandon

When you patronize our advertisers, please let them know you saw their ad in

www.50plusLifePA.com

the mission at any time. In most cases, you can find the same item being sold on several different websites. No one can save you from your own bad shopping habits, online or otherwise. Step away from the mouse when considering the 1980s sweater that glows under black lights. It wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t a good idea back then, and it certainly isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t a good idea now. Do you really need another circular saw? Arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t two enough? Yes, I know it was a great deal, but stand firm. The convenience of the Internet can definitely feed the impulse shopper in all of us. Practice restraint and enjoy your purchases!

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Abby Stokes, author of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Is This Thing On?â&#x20AC;? A Friendly Guide to Everything Digital for Newbies, Technophobes, and the Kicking & Screaming and its companion website, AskAbbyStokes.com, is the Johnny Appleseed of Technology, singlehandedly helping more than 300,000 people cross the digital divide.

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February 2016

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February 2016

50plus LIFE •

How to Protect Your Eyes from Macular Degeneration

to sunlight, especially if you have Dear Savvy Senior, light-colored eyes; certain genetic Is macular degeneration hereditary? My mother lost her vision from it before components; a family history of AMD; high blood pressure; obesity; she died a few years ago, and now at age 65, I’m worried I may get it. What and being Caucasian. For anyone over the age of 60, can you tell me? it’s a smart idea to get your eyes – Nearsighted Susan examined by an ophthalmologist every year. They can spot early signs Dear Susan, Having a parent or sibling with of AMD before vision loss occurs. macular degeneration does indeed Early signs, however, may include increase your risk three to four times. shadowy areas in your central vision But the good news is there are or unusually fuzzy or distorted things you can do to protect your vision. The Amsler grid (www. eyesight and amslergrid.org) a number of is a good tool treatments that to check your are available if eyes for AMD. you do happen to get it. Here’s Preventing what you AMD should know. While there’s currently no What is cure for AMD, February is Age-Related AMD? there are some Macular Degeneration Month Macular things you can degeneration, do if you’re also known as age-related macular high risk. degeneration (or AMD), is the most One option is to talk to your common cause of vision loss in doctor about taking a daily dose of people over age 50, affecting about antioxidant vitamins and minerals 10 million Americans. known as AREDS: vitamins C and AMD is a progressive eye disease E, plus copper, lutein, zeaxanthin, that damages the macula, the part of and zinc. Studies by the National the eye that allows us to see objects Eye Institute have shown that clearly, causing vision loss in the AREDS can reduce the risk by center of your vision. This affects about 25 percent that dry AMD will the ability to read, drive, watch progress. television, and do routine, daily Most drugstores sell these eye tasks, but it does not cause total supplements in tablet or soft gel blindness. form over the counter for around There are two types of AMD: $20 to $30, but be aware that not all wet and dry. Dry AMD, which eye supplements contain the proper affects about 90 percent of all people formulation. Choose either the who have it, progresses slowly and PreserVision Eye Vitamin AREDS painlessly over a period of years, Formula, PreserVision Eye Vitamin while wet AMD is much more Lutein Formula, PreserVision aggressive and can cause severe vision AREDS2 Formula, or ICAPS loss in a matter of weeks or months. AREDS. These four options contain Factors that can increase your risk the right formula mix. of getting AMD include age (60 and Other lifestyle adjustments that older); smoking; excessive exposure may help prevent or delay AMD www.50plusLifePA.com

include eating antioxidant-rich foods, such as dark-green, leafy vegetables and cold-water fish for their omega-3 fatty acids; protecting your eyes from the sun by wearing UV-protective sunglasses; controlling high blood pressure; exercising regularly; and if you smoke, quit. Wet AMD Treatments For wet AMD, there are several effective medications (Lucentis, Avastin, and Eylea) available that can stop vision loss and may even restore it. These medications are given by injection into the eye and repeated

every month or two, perhaps indefinitely. Note that each of these three drugs works equally in treating wet AMD, but there’s a big cost difference. Avastin costs just $50 per month, compared with $2,000 for the other two. So experts recommend Avastin as the first choice for most people with wet AMD, especially if you don’t have supplemental Medicare coverage. Jim Miller is a regular contributor to

the NBC Today show and author of The Savvy Senior Book. www.savvysenior.org

Celebrating the History of Black History Month We owe much of our greater events and people who figured understanding of black history to prominently in black American Carter G. Woodson. history. Born to former slaves, Woodson For example: worked hard and against the tide of prejudice to obtain his own Feb. 23, 1868: W.E.B. DuBois, civil education. rights leader and co-founder of the In earning his doctorate from NAACP, was born. Harvard, Woodson was disturbed to find that during Feb. 3, 1870: The his studies, history 15th Amendment books virtually was passed, ignored the granting blacks black American the right to vote. population. So he decided to take Feb. 25, on the challenge 1870: The of writing black first black U.S. Americans into the senator, Hiram history books. R. Revels (1822He established 1901), took his the Association for oath of office. the Study of Negro Life and History Feb. 12, (now called the 1909: The Carter G. Woodson Association for National the Study of AfroAssociation for American Life and History) in 1915, the Advancement of Colored People and a year later founded the widely was founded by a group of concerned respected Journal of Negro History. black and white citizens in New York Then in 1926, he launched City. Negro History Week, the precursor to Black History Month, as an Feb. 1, 1960: A group of black initiative to bring national attention Greensboro, N.C., college students to the contributions of black people began a sit-in at a segregated throughout American history. Woolworth’s lunch counter. The February was chosen as Black event marks a watershed moment in History Month for the significant the civil-rights movement. www.50plusLifePA.com

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50plus LIFE •

February 2016

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February 2016

50plus LIFE •

Infatuation at First Sight

In both folklore and literature there is the phenomenon of “love at first sight.” It happens to some people. Marc Antony and Cleopatra, Romeo and Juliet, Napoleon and Josephine are prominent examples. They had to fall in love at first sight. There was no time to waste. Bad things caught up quickly with these couples. Christopher Marlowe (1564-1593), poet and playwright, coined this couplet to defend the reality of love at first sight: “Where both deliberate, the love is slight. Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?” Shakespeare liked the lines so well he virtually copied them for one of his plays. In folklore we find many examples. Children may believe their parents fell in love at first sight. But when Mama is asked for details, she may demur, noting: “Well, it didn’t quite happen that way.” According to Newsweek magazine in 2012, 34 percent of men and 27 percent of women say they have experienced love at first sight. These percentages seem surprisingly low. Perhaps those who did not admit to such an experience banished the memory. Some of us have fallen in love at first sight more than once. How often do we hear of people falling in love at first sight in their later years? Not often. The sensation is reserved almost entirely for the vulnerable young, those who experience almost-instant hormonal arousal, an adrenaline rush, a sweaty palpitation, or a fear-of-failure introduction where words stumble out awkwardly. The sensation is real, but

the affection is bogus. When we read of older people falling in love at first sight, it is frequently an aged man falling for a woman young enough to be his granddaughter. These cases are newsworthy because they are rare. Oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall was 89 when he married 26-year-old Anna Nicole Smith. Their marriage lasted 14 months, at which time he expired. Supreme Court Justice William Douglas was 68 when he married Cathleen Heffernan, 22. That marriage lasted 14 years, at which time he expired. Both couples satisfied their vows of “’til death do us part.’” How can we tell that it is truly love at first sight? It is apparent in the eyes of the enamored. Several renowned persons have been credited with originating the famous line: “The eyes are the windows to the soul.” It seems everyone wants to claim authorship. Eyes do reveal feelings, including passion. When one feels a strong attraction toward another, the pupils are said to dilate. This draws more attention to the eyes. Much can be communicated through eye contact. Barry and Greenwich truly had insight when they titled their popular song “The Look of Love is in Your Eyes.” Opposite personalities who discover instinctive attraction to each other represent a more realistic phenomenon than love at first sight. Instinctive attraction at first please see INFATUATION page 16

www.50plusLifePA.com

Eulogy High By Bill Levine One of the most satisfying things I’ve done in my life was delivering my dad’s eulogy. It’s right up there with getting married, having kids, and winning the Newton Junior High Basketball championship in 1966. But since that day graveside in November 2013, I’ve struggled to understand why a paean to my dad in front of a couple of dozen shivering mourners pleases me so much. I think the great vibes I got from my eulogy were based on my feeling that I had made the essence of him known to the world by describing his “art of the deal.” Though he was a dentist, his real vocation was selflessly helping people through his numerous connections. This had to be told, and I told it. But I admit this need to extol him may have been spurred on by my internal faint praise. We had some issues, my dad and I, which prevented me being an exemplary son in my book. Dad was a larger-than-life figure whom I idolized. But I tended to shrink from life. As a kid I imagined he would have made a better father for my more athletic, outgoing friends. He didn’t have much patience, and I was a quirky kid who required patience. He could be overcritical. A normal reprimand, like, “You’ve gotta pay more attention to your personal belongings,” got blown up by my dad to: “How stupid are you to have left your coat at the playground? What is the matter with you?” Yet there must be a lost Rockwell print of Dad and me watching the Red Sox on TV. The upshot was that about 50 percent of my psychotherapeutic hours as an adolescent were spent discussing my dad; my mother and sister and my anal-retentive phase were distant runners-up. In the last 10 years of his life, Dad pleaded no contest twice to being insensitive to my travails as a child. He would state that he should have gotten me help sooner. Indeed, my high school extracurricular project was convincing him I needed a shrink. www.50plusLifePA.com

With adult perspective I absolved him, telling him to forget about it. His mea culpas, though, did not have that much staying power. I wanted more equality for my family, vis-á-vis my sister’s brood, from his late-in-life financial largesse. But he would not budge in his allocation strategy. Here I felt victimized by his stubbornness and his favoritism of my sister. Maybe childish for a 60year-old, I admit, but not without provocation. As Dad hit 90, his independentliving status was in name only. His horizons had shrunk, so he was asking more of me. I deferred trips to stores, rationalizing that his parttime home aide could always take him. I visited him in person every two or three weeks, outside of the good-son sweet spot but frequently enough to staunch an overwhelming flow of guilt. He would call me up to bluntly ask, “Where were you? I haven’t heard from you.” I would then mutter a few excuses. Really, though, it was just that I couldn’t feel obliged enough to listen to his steady mix of Red Sox recap and silences. On the day my dad died, I drove 95 miles from home to see my son at school. When I got there, the hospice nurse called to ask if I was privy to funeral arrangements for my dad. I immediately asked her if my dad was about to die. She said it wasn’t necessarily imminent. I did drive home right away, though. Once home, I conveniently extrapolated the nurse’s call to the funeral home as just cautionary. I didn’t feel obligated to perform a bedside vigil. The nurse called several hours later to tell me my dad had died. She said she had read Sports Illustrated to him as he exited this world. No one but I should have been reading SI to him. I blew it. Maybe, then, the eulogy was my last shot at being a good son. I stood and delivered for him at the end. That’s why my dad’s eulogy was so cathartic and, moreover, such an endorphin bath. I buried my indifferent-son persona with him.

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February 2016

The Bookworm Sez

Where We Belong: Journeys that Show Us the Way Terri Schlichenmeyer

You have to be somewhere today. There’s no hurry or schedule to follow, but you must get there on time. You don’t have a map or itinerary and the destination might be a surprise, but once you arrive, as happens in the new book Where We Belong by Hoda Kotb (with Jane Lorenzini), you’ll be in exactly the right place. It’s natural: a turn of the calendar, and you’re feeling some inner restlessness. It’s OK to admit it, says Kotb: You sense that there’s more to life, and you yearn to find it. The good news is that it’s never too late to start working toward that perfect spot in your world; in fact, here, Kotb introduces readers to people who did. Michelle Hauser grew up in Mason City, Iowa, living sometimes

with her mother and sometimes with her father. By age 10, she skillfully ran a household; at 12, she landed a paying job because she sensed a need for self-sufficiency; at 14, she worked in a restaurant, where her love of cooking was cemented. She ultimately became a chef, but throughout her life, she always harbored a dream of being a doctor. It would be even better if her two

Where We Belong: Journeys That Show Us the Way By Hoda Kotb with Jane Lorenzini c. 2016, Simon & Schuster 272 pages

passions could unite … Craig Juntenen never wanted children and had taken steps to ensure that it didn’t happen; his wife, Kathi, had known about his tenets when they were dating, and she accepted them. She was, therefore, very surprised when Craig came home after a golf outing and announced that he had an idea that ultimately changed their lives

               

 

                 

   

 

and their family, when two became five … Kay Abrahams grew up in the lap of luxury with everything she wanted—except parental attention, which she longed for. Her parents loved her, that was a fact, but they were busy with careers and had little time for her. Eventually, she fell into the same situation, but a move halfway across the country helped her find the “family” she needed. And for successful businessman Lindley DeGarmo, the move away from a sales career meant moving toward a job closer to his heart—and to his soul. So where’s your turning point? It won’t be identical to the ones you’ll find inside Where We Belong, but you’ll get a lot of inspiration just the same—you’ll also get a lot of same. Indeed, the stories here are all very similar and, with one exception, preexisting wealth shows up quite often in the tales. That may turn a few readers off. And yet, who doesn’t struggle with New Year’s resolutions? If you’ve made ’em, then you probably do, and author Hoda Kotb (with Jane Lorenzini) offers something here that’ll energize you: true, encouraging stories. If those everyday people can identify, find, and accomplish lifechanging goals, surely you can, too. And so, in the end, I mostly enjoyed Where We Belong. It’s a happy book, perhaps just what’s needed to start a year with myriad possibilities. And if you’re eager for that, then this book belongs in your hands. The Bookworm is Terri Schlichenmeyer. Terri has been reading since she was 3 years old and she never goes anywhere without a book. She lives on a hill in Wisconsin with two dogs and 14,000 books.

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February 2016

50plus LIFE •

www.50plusLifePA.com

Such is Life

I Hate Lifestyle Changes Saralee Perel

What do you think of on cold winter days? Cozy evenings by the fire? A simmering pot of chicken soup on a snowy day? My husband, Bob, thinks of gluten. You see, he’s started this new shtick: a lifestyle makeover. I hate this very much. While making our breakfast of broccoli tofu scramble, he asked me what I felt like doing for the day. “Being a sloth.” “Why don’t we take a nice brisk walk?” “We already did that two months ago.” We sat down to eat after I slathered (more) butter on my second English muffin. Bob piped up, “I think you should change your lifestyle too.” With his new eating plan, he chewed ever-so-slowly, waiting until his mouth was empty before taking another bite. This was all so annoying. “Why do I have to eat what you eat, Bob?” “Because I’m the only one around here who cooks.” “I can’t cook.” I pointed to my cane, which I’ve needed since a spinal cord injury. “That’s a ‘lame’ excuse.” “Very funny, Bob.” “What does your cane have to do with anything? You don’t do one single household chore.” Just as I expected, he put his fork down between each bite.

“Now that’s unfair,” I said. “You know I’m physically unable to do any chores.” “You can’t wash a plate?” he said. “I can’t. So sad.” “Or dust a table?” “Heartbreaking, Bob. Makes me sick with sadness. My disability makes it impossible for me to do any of those things.” “You’ve been disabled for 12 years. You haven’t cleaned since the ’70s.” “Oh.” “You can help, you know. You can do everything I do.” Darn. I’ve been waiting for him to figure that out. He continued, “When we go to the YMCA, I exercise while you eat things from your purse.” “I have to, Bob. Candy will go bad.” “The only time I can picture you not eating was when you were walking down the aisle.” Naturally, each forkful he took was the size of a peanut. If “you are what you eat” is true, Bob’s a carrot. I’m a Big Mac. “You never meditate,” he said. “Oh no? Watch this.” I got up

Are You Reading? Join the 2016 One Book, One Community campaign by reading Gaining Ground by Forrest Pritchard 80 libraries in Berks, Dauphin, Lancaster, Lebanon, Perry, and York counties and their community partners present the regional reading campaign.

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from the table, went to the fridge, took a colossal bite of cold pizza, and purred, “Om.” He didn’t finish his breakfast. “I’m full,” he said. “You also might want to consider stopping eating when you’re no longer hungry.” I spooned his leftovers into my mouth. “Now listen,” I said. “Just because you’re doing all this proper stuff doesn’t mean I have to.” “Then you’ll need to cook on your own.” “Bob, I’m begging you. Anything but that.”

The thing is—Bob would actually make me my own meals. He’d even continue to do all the chores despite knowing how much I can do. He’d take care of me anytime rather than think of himself first. So, guess whose turn it is to make a lifestyle change? I know I should be saying that I’ll do it for myself, but that’s not how I feel. Bob is the ultimate caregiver and friend. I’ll do it for him. Right after he washes the breakfast dishes. Saralee Perel is an award-winning, nationally syndicated columnist. Her new book is Cracked Nuts & Sentimental Journeys: Stories From a Life Out of Balance. To find out more, visit www. saraleeperel.com or email sperel@ saraleeperel.com.

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50plus LIFE •

February 2016

Traveltizers

Travel Appetizers

Authentically Arizona: A Trip through Diné Bikéyah

By Andrea Gross

The ruts are long and narrow; some measure nearly a foot in depth. As the driver swerves to avoid them, he plows across a shallow river, causing the van to list and my head to bang against the door of the four-wheel drive. I envision a muddy death. My husband and I are on an aptly named Detours expedition, one that aims to explore not only the scenic spots, but also the cultural heritage of Arizona. Our particular tour focuses on the state’s Native people, and we’ve definitely lucked out. Our guide is Donovan Hanley, a member of the Towering House Clan of the Navajo, who sports a waistlength braid, a broad smile, and a striking turquoise necklace. He’s about as authentic as you can get. “Yá’ át’ ééh abíní [good morning],” he says. “Welcome to Diné Bikéyah [The Navajo Nation].”

The Mittens, so called because they Director John Ford often used resemble the mitten-clad hands of a Monument Valley as a setting for his giant, are two of the most distinctive films, and for many folks it has come buttes in Monument Valley. to symbolize the American West.

During the next four days, as we travel to some of the Navajos’ most sacred spots, he intersperses facts about his people’s beliefs and customs with personal stories about his grandfather (a medicine man), his father (a sheep herder), and his 8-year-old niece, who still lives in the same town where he grew up. As for his necklace, he tells us

                                    

 

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  

        

   

February 2016

                 

that the turquoise stones symbolize creation. Like the sky and water, they provide security and protection. “The strand on the right is my mother,” he says. “The one on the left is my father. And the loop at the bottom, the strand that connects them, is the umbilical cord. By joining together, they have created me, the future generation.”

MULTI-DAY TOURS • New Orleans & South.......... Feb 26 – Mar 5 • Golden Isles of Georgia.............. Mar 6 – 12 • Myrtle Beach Spring Getaway.. Mar 14 – 18 • Texas & San Antonio...................Apr 5 – 14 • Nashville, Memphis & New Orleans ..........................................................Apr 8 – 17 • Charleston, Hilton Head & Savannah ..................................................Apr 10 – 15 • Biltmore Festival of Flowers & Dollywood .................................................. Apr 11 – 15 • Virginia in the Springtime.........Apr 19 – 22 • Gone with the Wind & Atlanta..Apr 25 – 29 • Boston Spring Getaway...............Apr 27- 29 • Holland Tulip Festival.................May 9 – 13 • Cape Cod....................................May 9 – 13 • Mackinac Island & Michigan Highlights ................................................. May 11 – 17 • Chicago Highlights.....................June 6 – 10 • National Parks of America....... June 11 - 22

Hanley grew up near Monument Valley, a 30,000-acre tribal park near the Arizona/Utah border. The land is filled with stark rock formations that are familiar to most of us from countless movies that depict the American West. But to the Navajo, the sandstone rocks are more than a filmmaker’s prop; they reflect their way of life and represent some of their deepest convictions. We tour the valley in an open-air vehicle driven by a specially licensed Navajo guide. In the distance I see The Mittens, a pair of massive buttes that look like the hands of a gloved giant. “The giant is so big that he can safeguard us,” says the guide. He continues past spots where medicine men pray, where prospectors have discovered silver, and where a tall, solitary spire resembles the fireplace in

ONE-DAY TOURS • Westminster Dog Show..................... Feb 15 • New York Winter Special........Feb 20, Mar 5 • Atlantic City..........................Feb 20, Mar 19 •M t Airy Show & Casino Neil Diamond Tribute...............................................Feb 22 • P hiladelphia Flower Show ................................March 5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12 • Washington Kick-Off..........................Mar 12 • American Girl Place in NY.................Mar 19 • New York 9/11 Museum.....................Mar 26 • “ Fiddler on the Roof” NY Broadway Show ............................................................ Apr 2 • New York Auto Show........................... Apr 2 • Washington DC Cherry Blossoms... Apr 2,6,9 • World Trade Center Observation Tower in NY ............................................................ Apr 9 • “Wicked” NY Broadway Show............. Apr 9 • “Phantom” NY Broadway Show.......... Apr 9 • Washington DC...................................Apr 16 • “Aladdin” NY Broadway Show............Apr 16

For information or reservations : 717-569-1111 2016 catalog available, or visit our website: www.conestogatours.com 50plus LIFE •

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the center of a traditional Navajo hogan (home). Before leaving the valley, we stop at a hogan to learn about the techniques and beliefs surrounding crafts like spinning and weaving. A weaver explains that authentic blankets and baskets always have a “spirit line” that allows the artisan’s creativity to be used anew on subsequent projects. Although Monument Valley has been inhabited for thousands of years, it’s the red geological formations—the tall, skinny buttes and wide, flat mesas—that are the real attraction. For up-close views of the petroglyphs and cliff dwellings that show the human history of Navajoland, we head to Canyon de Chelly National Monument. A light, gentle rain—a female rain, says our driver—bathes the cottonwood trees with a soft sparkle and brightens the green that peeks out from the rocks. We see the farms that belong to the 50 or 60 families who live in the canyon today, study the dwellings left by the ancients, and listen to our driver tell stories about his childhood, when he was raised by his grandmother and

H M I

Guide Donovan Hanley uses personal stories to give people insight into Navajo culture.

A traditional Navajo house, called a hogan, is on display in Monument Valley. Today hogans are most often used for ceremonial purposes.

Navajo craftspeople demonstrate traditional crafts in Monument Valley’s hogan.

Canyon de Chelly is home to many cliff dwellings.

slept on a sheepskin tossed on the floor of her hogan. We’re admiring a Puebloan compound perched in a canyon alcove far above us when the sky is split by a flash of lightening. “No problem,” says the driver. “The rain will come from the right. I will

turn my van to the left.” He careens along the bumpy road, outrunning the rain—the heavy, male rain—that pelts the ground off to the right. Hanley laughs when we thank him for arranging another authentically Navajo experience.

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Dr. Cheshty will provide digestive health services for female patients at the Lancaster General Health Women’s Specialty Center. Dr. Cheshty is board certified in gastroenterology and internal medicine with special interests in women health, gastroenterological cancers, health and nutrition. Visit RGAL.com or LGHealth.com to learn more about this center, the only of its kind in the region.

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For more about Arizona’s Native culture and other Arizona attractions, see www. traveltizers.com. Photos © Irv Green unless otherwise noted; story by Andrea Gross (www.andreagross.com).

DR. CHESHTY PROVIDES CARE AT THE WOMEN’S SPECIALTY CENTER.

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“Power lies with those who can read the clouds,” he says. En route back to Phoenix, we stop at Hubbell Trading Post, the oldest continuously operating trading post in the country. At first glance, it’s a mix of groceries, dry goods, and run-of-the-mill souvenirs. At second, it’s a repository of outstanding Native American art, from antique rugs to modern creations. As the resident historian tells the story of a Yei rug, a small woman with long, gray hair walks in, carrying a large, paper-wrapped package. She is, says the proprietor, a master weaver, still practicing what threatens to become a lost art. Two women vie to purchase the rug; the visitor from Sweden wins. As for me, I settle for a simple souvenir that I find at a nearby convenience store. It’s a 9-inch doll outfitted with a necklace similar to Hanley’s. For $8.95 I have security, protection, and wonderful memories.

(On the 2nd floor in the Women’s Outpatient Center at Women & Babies Hospital)

www.RGAL.com

50plus LIFE •

February 2016

CCRC Continuing Care

Retirement Communities CCRCs offer a tiered approach to the aging process, accommodating residents’ unique and often changing needs. Healthy adults entering a CRCC are able to live independently in a home, apartment, or condominium of their own within the community. When assistance with everyday activities becomes necessary, they can move into personal care, assisted living, rehabilitation, or nursing care facilities. Some CCRCs have designated dementia areas within the community. These units address the progressing needs of people who have any form of dementia. With a wealth of available resources, these communities give older adults the option to live in one location for the duration of their lives, with much of their future care already figured out — which equals both comfort and peace of mind.

The listings with a shaded background have additional information about their center in a display advertisement in this edition. Bethany Village

325 Wesley Drive Mechanicsburg, PA 17055 Stephanie Lightfoot Director of Sales & Marketing (717) 766-0279 www.bethanyvillage.org

Calvary Fellowship Homes

Chapel Pointe at Carlisle

Cross Keys Village The Brethren Home Community

Homeland Center

The Middletown Home

Pleasant View Retirement Community

502 Elizabeth Drive Lancaster, PA 17601 Marlene Morris Marketing Director (717) 393-0711 www.calvaryhomes.org

Cornwall Manor

1 Boyd Street, P.O. Box 125 Cornwall, PA 17016 Jennifer Margut Director of Marketing (717) 274-8092 info@cornwallmanor.org www.cornwallmanor.org

770 South Hanover Street Carlisle, PA 17013 Linda Amsley Director of Marketing/Admissions (717) 249-1363 info@ChapelPointe.org www.ChapelPointe.org

2990 Carlisle Pike New Oxford, PA 17350 Amy Beste Senior Retirement Counselor (717) 624-5350 a.beste@crosskeysvillage.org www.crosskeysvillage.org

Homestead Village

999 West Harrisburg Pike Middletown, PA 17057 Andrea Henney Director of Residential Services (717) 944-3351 www.MiddletownHome.org

Enhanced Senior Living 1800 Marietta Avenue P.O. Box 3227 Lancaster, PA 17604-3227 Christina Gallagher Director of Marketing (717) 397-4831 ext. 158 www.homesteadvillage.org

St. Anne’s Retirement Community

Serving from the Heart in the Spirit of Friendship, Love, and Truth

Willow Valley Communities

3952 Columbia Avenue West Hempfield Township, PA 17512 Mary Jo Diffendall Director of Marketing (717) 285-5443 mdiffendall@stannesrc.org www.StAnnesRC.org

600 Willow Valley Square Lancaster, PA 17602 Kristin Hambleton Director of Sales (717) 464-6800 (800) 770-5445 www.willowvalleycommunities.org

1901 North Fifth Street Harrisburg, PA 17102-1598 Barry S. Ramper II, N.H.A. President/CEO (717) 221-7902 www.homelandcenter.org

544 North Penryn Road Manheim, PA 17545 Amanda Hall Sales & Marketing Manager (717) 664-6207 ahall@pleasantviewrc.org www.pleasantviewrc.org

Woodcrest Villa Mennonite Home Communities 2001 Harrisburg Pike Lancaster, PA 17601 Connie Buckwalter Director of Marketing (717) 390-4126 www.woodcrestvilla.org

The CCRC Communities listed are sponsoring this message. This is not an all-inclusive list.

February 2016

50plus LIFE •

www.50plusLifePA.com

Lancaster County

Calendar of Events

Support Groups Free and open to the public Feb. 3, 7 to 8:15 p.m. Alzheimer’s Caregivers Support Group Willow Lakes Outpatient Center 212 Willow Valley Lakes Drive, Willow Street (717) 464-9365 Feb. 8, 10 to 11 a.m. Alzheimer’s Caregivers Support Group Garden Spot Village Concord Room 433 S. Kinzer Ave., New Holland (717) 355-6076 jmorton@gardenspotvillage.org Feb. 18, noon Brain Tumor Support Group Lancaster General Health Campus Wellness Center 2100 Harrisburg Pike, Lancaster (717) 626-2894

Feb. 22, 2 to 3 p.m. Parkinson’s Support Group Garden Spot Village Concord Room 433 S. Kinzer Ave., New Holland (717) 355-6259 jshaffer@gardenspotvillage.org Feb. 24, 6 to 8 p.m. Epilepsy Foundation of Eastern Pennsylvania Support Group Lancaster General Hospital – Stager Room 5 555 N. Duke St., Lancaster (800) 887-7165, ext. 104

Feb. 3, 2 p.m. Korean War Veterans Association Meeting Oak Leaf Manor North 2901 Harrisburg Pike, Landisville (717) 299-1990 pcunningham1841@verizon.net Feb. 5, 5 to 9 p.m. Opening Reception: The Art of Matthew Thomas Abruzzo Mulberry Art Studios 19-21 N. Mulberry St., Lancaster (717) 295-1949 Feb. 16, 2 to 3:30 p.m. Brick Walls in Genealogy Part II Willow Valley Genealogy Club Willow Valley Communities – Orr Auditorium 211 Willow Valley Square, Lancaster www.genealogyclubwv.com (717) 397-0439

Feb. 19, 6 to 9 p.m. Music Fridays Downtown Lancaster (717) 341-0028 Feb. 20, 7 p.m. Temple Avenue Jazz Garden Spot Village Chapel 433 S. Kinzer Ave., New Holland (717) 355-6000 Feb. 25, 2 p.m. Centerville AARP Chapter 4221 Meeting Pheasant Ridge Community Center 209 Longwood Court West, Lancaster (717) 786-4714

If you have an event you would like to include, please email information to mjoyce@onlinepub.com for consideration.

Library Programs Lititz Public Library, 651 Kissel Hill Road, Lititz, (717) 626-2255 Feb. 10, 6:30 p.m. – Great Decisions Discussion Group: The Middle East Feb. 18, 7 p.m. – Wine 101: An Introduction to Wine Feb. 20, 1:30 p.m. – A Colorful Folk: Pennsylvania Germans and the Art of Everyday Life www.50plusLifePA.com

Cocalico Senior Association – (717) 336-7489 Feb. 8, 9 a.m. – The Price is Right Feb. 24, 9:30 a.m. – Board Games Feb. 26, 9 a.m. – The News Columbia Senior Center – (717) 684-4850 Feb. 5, 10:15 a.m. – Balance and Exercise with Lynn Feb. 22, 10 a.m. – Medicare Fraud with John Fogel Feb. 25, 10:15 a.m. – Town Hall and Fundraising Meetings Elizabethtown Area Senior Center – (717) 367-7984 Feb. 3, 1:30 p.m. – Bingo for Bucks/Cash Prizes Feb. 10, 10 a.m. – Tiddly Winks Feb. 23, 10:30 a.m. – Music with Ricky Kilby Lancaster House North Happy Hearts Club Senior Center – (717) 299-1278 Tuesdays, 1 p.m. – Varied Activities Thursdays, noon – Pinochle

Community Programs Free and open to the public Feb. 1, 6 p.m. Red Rose Singles Meeting Hoss’s Steak & Sea House 100 W. Airport Road, Lititz (717) 406-6098

Senior Center Activities

Lancaster Neighborhood Senior Center – (717) 299-3943 Feb. 3, 10:30 a.m. – Bingo Feb. 12, 10:30 a.m. – Trivia Feb. 23, 9:30 a.m. – Consumer Scams Lancaster Rec. Senior Center – (717) 392-2115, ext. 147 Tuesdays, 9:30 a.m. – Chair Dancing Feb. 14, 10:30 a.m. – Valentine’s Day Party Feb. 19, 10:30 a.m. – Penn State Nutrition with Donna Lititz Senior Center – (717) 626-2800 Feb. 6, 10 a.m. – Music and Dancing with Leslie Bower Feb. 12, 9:30 a.m. – B ible Study with Pastor Vernon Collie Feb. 19, 10 a.m. – Nutrition Bingo Luis Munoz Marin Senior Center – (717) 295-7989 Fridays, 10 a.m. – Table Games Feb. 12, 10 a.m. – Valentine’s Day Celebration Feb. 23, 10:30 a.m. – Bingo Games Millersville Senior Center – (717) 871-9600 Feb. 8, 10:30 a.m. – Sundae Monday Feb. 22, 10:30 a.m. – Bingo with Oak Leaf Manor Feb. 29, 10:30 a.m. – Penn State Nutrition with Donna Next Gen Senior Center – (717) 786-4770 Feb. 12, 9:30 a.m. – Valentine’s Day Party Feb. 18, 10:30 a.m. – Wii Bowling Feb. 24, 10:30 a.m. – Trivia with Bob Reigh Rodney Park Happy Hearts Club Senior Center – (717) 393-7786 Tuesdays, noon – Pinochle Wednesdays, 1 p.m. – Varied Activities Thursdays, noon – Bingo 50plus LIFE •

February 2016

INFATUATION from page 8 sight doesn’t necessarily indicate interest in a long-term relationship. One may admire in the other those characteristics one lacks, such as sociability, humor, ambition, knowledge, or a musical, dance, or athletic talent. Opposites can introduce each other to new interests. Sameness can be boring. Viva la difference is the hallmark bond of many happy partnerships. But differences have limits in retaining interests. Couples sharing core values, attitudes, and religions have a more durable bonding than those who lack such commonalities. This is the conclusion reached by

researchers at the University of Iowa (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, February 2005). Some differences are implanted in the relationship from the beginning. Men and women are psychologically different. John Gray elaborated this point in his Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus, a book that sold more than 7 million copies. Isn’t this something we learned in our teens? In a satisfying, continuing relationship, our differences are complementary. She is naturally submissive, while he is moderately domineering. Or, he is shy while she is an extrovert. Somehow a workable

balance is reached. In young people, the reproductive genetic search, either at the conscious or subconscious level, drives us to seek a partner with particular features to endow any offspring that might issue. It could be an attraction to nice hair, white teeth, small ears, high cheekbones, long eyelashes—features that offset deficiencies we feel about ourselves. As we age, we become less attracted by physical features. We look for similarities that enhance companionship. We appreciate the importance of differences in our schedules so we have some privacy to read, meditate, listen to music, or

view television in pursuit of our own interests. An enduring relationship requires a measure of humility by both partners. One should yield on occasion in the expectation of prevailing some other time. That helps preserve love until the last sight. Walt Sonneville, a retired marketresearch analyst, is the author of My 22 Cents’ Worth: The Higher-Valued Opinion of a Senior Citizen and A Musing Moment: Meditative Essays on Life and Learning, books of personalopinion essays, free of partisan and sectarian viewpoints. Contact him at waltsonneville@verizon.net.

Wisdom from ‘the Oracle of Omaha’ Warren Buffett is one of the richest people in the world, so his advice on money should be worth heeding. Here, in his own words, are some of his tips and aphorisms on saving, investing, and spending: Planning. “Someone’s sitting in the

shade today because someone planted a tree long ago.”

one month by getting nine women pregnant.”

Spending. “Price is what you pay; value is what you get.”

Mistakes. “The rearview mirror is always clearer than the windshield.”

really don’t need leverage in this world much. If you’re smart, you’re going to make a lot of money without borrowing.”

Patience. “No matter how great the talent or efforts, some things just take time. You can’t produce a baby in

Borrowing. “I’ve seen more people fail because of liquor and leverage— leverage being borrowed money. You

Debt. “The most important thing to do when you find yourself in a hole is to stop digging.”

Job Opportunities LANCASTER COUNTY EMPLOYERS NEED YOU!! Age 55 or over? Unemployed? The 55+ Job Bank is one of three services offered by Employment Unit at the Office of Aging. Jobs are matched with those looking for work. Based on an evaluation of your skills and abilities, we can match you with a position needed by a local employer. Some employers are specifically looking for older workers because of the reliability and experience they bring to the workplace. There is a mix of full-time and part-time jobs covering all shifts, requiring varying levels of skill and experience, and offering a wide range of salaries. The other services available through the Office of Aging are the Senior Community Service Employment Program (SCSEP) and the regularly scheduled Job Search Workshops.

For more job listings, call the Lancaster County Office of Aging at

(717) 299-7979 or visit

www.co.lancaster.pa.us/lanco_aging

Lancaster County Office of Aging 150 N. Queen Street, Suite 415 Lancaster, PA 16

February 2016

50plus LIFE •

E.O.E.

DRIVERS – PT/FT

Local transportation company is seeking persons for both part-time and full-time non-CDL positions. Candidates must have a safe driving record and be able to pass company drug screen. Benefits for full-time positions. Competitive wages. SN010034.01

HANDYMAN/WOMAN – PT

Local service company looking for individuals who can perform light home maintenance/repairs for their in-home caregiver clients including carpentry, electrical, heating, plumbing, and small appliance repairs. Some prior technical ability/experience is required. SN010064.02

VIEW OUR JOB LIST

We list other jobs on the Web at www.co.lancaster.pa.us/ lanco_aging. To learn more about applying for the 55+ Job Bank and these jobs, call the Employment Unit at (717) 299-7979. SN-GEN.03

ASSEMBLERS – FT

Local agency recruiting for an iconic American brand to build their product in York County. Jobs are physically demanding and candidates must pass several assessment tests. Both first and second shifts are available covering four 10-hour days per week. SN010073.04

— Volunteer Opportunities — The volunteer opportunities available at Lancaster County Office of Aging are diverse, offer flexibility, and require a minimal time commitment. As a volunteer, you can choose to provide a consumer with hands-on help with laundry, grocery shopping, or cleaning. You can also provide socialization as a Phone Pal or Friendly Visitor. There are several specialized programs for volunteers through our agency. They include the Volunteer Ombudsman and APPRISE volunteer programs. Volunteers are also invited to participate in several special events during the year, distribution of donated chicken barbecue dinners, and the Christmas holiday program. For more information about any of these opportunities and others, contact Bev Via, volunteer coordinator, at (717) 299-7979 or aging@co.lancaster.pa.us. Becoming an Office of Aging volunteer will enrich your life in 2016 and help an older person remain in the community!

www.50plusLifePA.com

The Beauty in Nature

Starting Reproductive Cycles Clyde McMillan-Gamber

To me, February in southeastern finches, and eastern bluebirds, begin Pennsylvania is an exciting month singing to establish nesting territories because mid-February is the start of and attract females of their respective spring in this area. kinds to them for mating and raising Daylight each succeeding day young. is noticeably longer, stirring the Those lovely birds sing in response hormones of several kinds of local to their waking hormones as each birds and succeeding day mammals and has a longer starting their period of sunlight. reproductive cycles With closed that we humans beaks and can observe. swollen throats, Their courting is male doves coo a welcome herald through the day of springâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s arrival while perched on and a prelude to twigs and wires. raising young. And they engage By the middle in noticeable of February, courtship flights Canada geese. pairs of local of deep wing beats Canada geese and and gliding in mallard ducks fly circles above their alone across the nesting territories sky. Each pair to show off to is looking for their mates. a place near an In our impoundment imaginations, or slow-moving male wrens might waterway in sing, â&#x20AC;&#x153;tea-kettle farmland to build tea-kettle,â&#x20AC;? while a nest on the male cardinals Male cardinal. ground and hatch sing, â&#x20AC;&#x153;cheer, cheer, offspring. what cheer.â&#x20AC;? And Toward the end of that month, titmice utter, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Peter, Peter, Peter.â&#x20AC;? All most pairs have decided on and these songs sound cheery to us, lifting defended a spot, and the females of many human spirits weary of winter. each pair created a grass-and-feather More striped skunks, opossums, nursery among tall vegetation. raccoons, woodchucks, cottontail By late February or early March, rabbits, and muskrats are killed on each hen begins laying eggs in her roads in February and early March cradle on the ground. Each goose lays than any other time of the year. four to six eggs, while each mallard Probably most of them were males lays up to 15. Goslings and ducklings traveling over unfamiliar ground in take about 28 days to hatch, so we search of mates. see newly hatched youngsters of geese February is a time of courting and and mallards around the third week in mating to produce another generation April. of youngsters. And those preludes to On warm afternoons in February, reproduction help make that spring male permanent-resident birds, month interesting. including mourning doves, Carolina Clyde McMillan-Gamber is a retired wrens, northern cardinals, song Lancaster County Parks naturalist. sparrows, tufted titmice, house www.50plusLifePA.com

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February 2016

Salute to a Veteran

In World War II He Flew for the Yanks … and for the Brits

Robert D. Wilcox

At age 94, Richard Boyd is a clear reminder of Hollywood’s handsome Errol Flynn. And he has a dashing past to match, virtually all of which was devoted to aviation. The exploits started for him in 1941 in his native England, when he was 19 and volunteered for service with the Royal Air Force (RAF) as a crewmember. He was selected for pilot training and began flying the Tiger Moth single-engine biplane. And just before he was to solo, his whole world changed. The chief of the U.S. Army Air Corps, “Hap” Arnold, had proposed that a limited number of British young men be trained in our aviation cadet program. Boyd was one of five picked from his group and soon was on his way to the U.S. via a holding base in New Brunswick, where a

The Lancaster bomber in which Boyd flew his missions.

Flying Officer Richard E. Boyd in 1945.

group of soon-to-be cadets was being assembled. Then, in 1942 he was sent to

Albany, Ga., to join the aviation cadet class of 42-I, flying the Stearman PT-17. Did he wear an American uniform? “All but the forage cap, which earmarked me as a Brit,” he says. In succession then followed basic flying at Macon, Ga., and advanced flying at Valdosta, Ga., where he

got his U.S. wings and RAF rank of pilot officer (the equivalent of our 2nd lieutenant). He then shipped to Toronto in 1943, where he most memorably met and dated the winsome Rita Mary O’Gorman (more on that later). It was there that he also was unexpectedly picked to be one of five pilots from his group of 60 to go to Texas to attend the Army Air Corps Central Instructors School at Kelly Field. Having completed that instructor training, he was assigned to Ellington Field in Houston, where he served as an instructor pilot in AT-9s and AT-10s. In December, he was called back to the RAF, and he shipped from New York for Europe aboard the Queen Mary. What was that like? With a chuckle, he says, “It was

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a madhouse. With 16,000 troops aboard, there were bunks stacked everywhere. Mine was actually on the bridge of the vessel.” The Queen Mary was the largest and fastest troopship during World War II. In her seven years of wartime service, she ran an unescorted, zigzag course for 569,429 miles as she carried 765,429 troops across the Atlantic to England. Arriving in Liverpool, Boyd was sent to Scotland to train to fly the British way. He laughs at the way a sergeant pilot said, “I understand that you trained in the American Air Force.” When Boyd agreed that he had, the sergeant said briskly, “Ah … we’ll soon correct that.” That was followed by flying the twin-engine Wellington, then the four-engine Stirling, and finally the formidable, four-engine Lancaster. That amazing bomber could carry almost its own weight with 33,000 pounds of fuel and bombs. It was the only plane that could handle the RAF’s giant, 22,000-pound, specialpurpose bomb, the Grand Slam. While we think of the Brits as bombing in the night while we bombed by day, the RAF bombed a lot by day, as well. Boyd, for example, flew 11 missions by day and 22 at night. At night, he was four times picked to be “marker crew,” which dropped flares to light up the target. He remembers one night when he had a problem with his radar over Dresden and had to face the flak during three runs over the target to hit it. He also recalls a daylight mission when they were to bomb German troops at the east end of the Remagen Bridge over the Rheine, only to be called away at the very last minute upon learning that the Yanks had now crossed the bridge and actually were the troops below them. For his wartime service, Boyd was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross. On V-E Day, Boyd was at home on leave and was assigned

to transport command, where he flew Stirling bombers that had been converted to carry troops and equipment to Karachi, India, to fight the Japanese. What was the closest he ever came to buying the farm? Scratching his chin, he says, “That has to be the time after the war when I was flying in a York transport plane as an observer. We crashed on landing, and I spent six months in the hospital in a full-body cast. That’s a time I don’t even want to think about.” Leaving the RAF in 1947, Boyd worked as a flight operations officer for British Overseas Airways. He had been corresponding regularly with Rita, that girl in Toronto, and only then when he had a real job did he feel that he could send the letter that said, “Will you marry me?” along with a one-way ticket to England on the Queen Mary. Even though they hadn’t been together in person in four years, she came, they quickly married, and for 68 years have never regretted the decision. In 1951, Boyd joined the Dutch airline KLM for five years before Swissair asked him to work for them and open a New York City office. To do that, he and Rita came to New York, where they lived on Long Island. Boyd became operations manager, North America, in 1969 and retired in 1986 after 30 years with the company. With his complimentary airline tickets, he and Rita have literally traveled the world. They came to Lancaster County in 2013 to live in one of its retirement communities. And Boyd is proud of the space it gives him for a “war room” in which he keeps a treasure trove of aviation books, pictures, documents, and awards … all that reminds him of the lifetime he’s been privileged to spend in the cuttingedge world of aviation. Colonel Wilcox flew a B-17 bomber in Europe in World War II.

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February 2016

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Dear Pharmacist,Â Both my father and brother have suffered a heart attack. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m worried because Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m 52 years old and my blood pressure is slightly elevated, but other than that, I am pretty healthy. All my tests are OK, but I am scared. Any suggestions?Â â&#x20AC;&#x201C; P.A. Just because your relatives have suffered a heart attack, doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t mean you will, so realize that in this moment, you are still healthy. Positive thoughts reduce stress hormones like cortisol, which damage the heart.Â Because you have a family history of heart disease, remain vigilant about eating a healthy, well-balanced diet; doing aerobic exercise; and taking essential nutrients that help maintain normal blood pressure and cholesterol. Â Most Americans take blood pressure drugs. Pharmaceutically speaking, there are more than 100

The underâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; different pills to lying disease and tackle high blood inflammation pressure. In will continue some instances, to destroy these are helpful, the delicate but they relax pipeline: your blood vessels blood vessels, temporarily, arteries, and while the capillaries. This disease process is why vitamin continues. C, lysine, and Many drugs used to lower February is American Heart Month proline help, because they blood pressure keep your blood vessels flexible and just so happen to be drug muggers of magnesium, zinc, calcium, and iron, help reduce plaquing.Â I wrote a whole chapter on heart so taking a multi-mineral supplement disease in my diabetes book, and or a trace-mineral supplement a few right now, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like to share some of hours after you take your medicine the most important supplements that can mitigate side effects. While blood pressure or cholesterol could help a person reduce their risk of heart attack. medications, beta blockers, calciumObviously, ask your physician channel blockers, and digoxin may which supplement(s) are right for your be prescribed by your physician, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s important to realize that their effect individual condition:Â on your body is only temporary. Arginine â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an amino acid that the body makes on its own. You can buy it too. In 2009, researchers at the University of Virginia found that it could help people with heart failure.Â

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Puzzle Page

CROSSWORD

Solutions for all puzzles can be found on page 22 SUDOKU

Across brainteasers

Popular Candies of the ’50s and ’60s Find these candies that were popular during the ’50s and ’60s:

1. R _ _ _ B _ _ _ Ba _ _ _ _ 2. P _ _ 3. Tu _ _ _ _ h T _ _ _ y 4. M _ _ _ J _ _ _ 5. S _ _ _ _ D _ _ _ y 6. C _ _ _ y C _ g _ _ _ _ _ e 7. W _ _ L _ _ s 8. H _ _ Ta _ _ _ _ s 9. B _ _ _ _ _ B _ _ _ _ B _ _ _ s 10. B _ _ O H _ _ _ _ Love in the ’50s and ’60s Find the movie or song titles with the word love from the ’50s and ’60s:

1. 1953 – Se _ _ _ _ Love 2. 1955 – Love is a M _ _ _ - Sp _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Thing 3. 1956 – Love Me T _ _ _ _ _ 4. 1957 – A _ _ _ _ Love 5. 1958 – The B _ _ _ of Love 6. 1960 – Will You Love Me T _ _ _ _ _ _ _ ? 7. 1963 – Love with the Pr _ _ _ _ St _ _ _ _ _ _ 8. 1963 – From Ru _ _ _ _ with Love 9. 1967 – Love is B _ _ _ 10. 1967 – To S _ _ with Love Written by Alan Stillson. Please see http://stillsonworks.com

1. In the middle of 5. Draws close 10. Expel 14. Trademark 15. Cow name 16. _ __ of Green Gables 17. Molecule 18. Restricted info 20. Med. specialist, to some 22. Anjou 23. Stale 24. Pecan Down

1. Exclamation of sorrow 2. Light bulb visitor 3. Stravinsky, for one 4. Game piece 5. Menswear 6. Annex 7. Quick! (abbr.) 8. Ascend 9. Oil or seed 10. Klutz 11. Workers’ group 12. Fishhook attachment 13. ___ bear 19. Angry

25. For the most part 27. Pastoral 31. Tennis units 32. Alias inits. 33. Smallest 35. Singer John 39. Give temporarily 41. Feel remorse 42. Roof part 43. Important question 45. Humiliate 48. Salome actor Reason 49. Orient 51. Abnormal

53. Baked good 56. Family room 57. Age 58. Despot 61. Bracelet type 65. Paying your own way at dinner 68. Rope fiber 69. Retired 70. Writer Zola 71. God of love 72. Young lady 73. Asian starlings 74. Camping accessory

21. Void’s partner 26. Cay 27. Indonesian island 28. Mus. instruments, for short 29. Containers 30. Weight unit 31. Behalf 34. Hero 36. E. Ireland village 37. Kitchen appliance 38. Adjacent 40. Twosome 44. Terra firma 46. Tranquilizes

47. Level 50. Method 52. Printer 53. Organ part 54. Netherlands Antilles island 55. Repletes 59. Mil. service 60. Harness 62. Entice 63. Brit. school 64. Exam 66. Time deposits (abbr.) 67. ___ carte

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February 2016

Cover Story: On Life and Love after 50

Tom Blake

Greetings, Introductions, and 10 Tips for Finding Love My writing scope has broadened to: “On life and love after 50,” as older singles deal with life issues often beyond the scope of just dating. My advice is applicable to anyone age 50 to 90. Yes, I know people in their 90s who have found love. While my articles target singles, approximately 35 percent of my readers are married. Many tell me that reading about the hardships singles endure encourages them to appreciate their spouses more. My advice to married couples is usually pretty simple: Stay together and work out any issues. Let’s have fun together. Maybe we can help some older singles find love. But to continue writing about senior dating, I need input from readers—your questions, comments, and stories about life and love after 50. Email me at tompblake@gmail. com and I will respond within a day or two, unless I’m traveling overseas. Who knows? We might include you in a column. One thing is certain: As more

Puzzle Solutions

I am honored, especially on Valentine’s Day, to be introduced to your newspaper. I have a warm spot in my heart for Pennsylvania. My mother was born in Erie. My column started when two female editors in Dana Point, Calif., gave me my first writing assignment. I had just gone through a divorce and thought dating would be easy. It turned out to be difficult, and I wrote about the frustrations of a single guy in his early 50s trying to date again. I complained and whined that younger women wouldn’t go out with me and women my age expected me to pay for dates. The editors felt that the single women in Southern California would have a field day taking potshots at my woe-is-me message. They were right. When my first column ran, a woman said: “Who is this sniveling puke?” Another said, “Get the boy a crying towel.” Women told me my writing became less controversial when I started dating my life partner, Greta. I’ve written approximately 3,500 articles and newsletters on finding love in the later years, and writing on this topic has been good to me. I’ve published three books and have been interviewed by Matt Lauer on the Today show and Diane Sawyer on Good Morning America—very humbling.

February 2016

Tom’s 10 Tips for Finding a Mate My life partner, Greta, and I had dinner with a widower friend of ours after Christmas. As we were leaving the restaurant, he said, “I don’t want to be alone anymore. But I don’t know how to meet a potential mate. What do you advise?” I put together a list that would help him get started. I call it Tom’s 10 Tips for Finding a Mate. The tips apply to both men and women. 1. Let friends, family, and acquaintances know that you’d like to meet other singles. That’s what Ken did with me. He let me know that he was rejoining the human race and wanted to meet new people.

The more people he gets the word out to, the better his chances of finding someone. It’s called networking. And it works. A week after Ken asked for advice, I received an email from a single woman in his city. I asked each one of them separately if they’d like to correspond. They said yes. Had Ken not mentioned his situation to me, I wouldn’t have thought about introducing them. 2. Get off the couch and out of the house. You won’t meet anybody sitting at home. You need to be where you will meet new people. Sure, it takes energy and time, but it will give you a purpose. Attend weddings, reunions, church activities, dances, and accept all invitations to events. Volunteer. Another widower I know volunteers at a nearby hospital twice a week and helps feed the homeless at his brother’s church twice a month. He’s met single women at both places. 3. Go out to enrich your life and meet new people. Do not go out solely to find a mate. People looking too hard come off as desperate and end up turning off the opposite sex. Often, it’s when we aren’t looking that we meet someone special. Brainteasers

Popular Candies of the ’50s and ’60s

Puzzles shown on page 21

and more people become single later in life, there are always new and challenging issues. People often tell me, “I never thought I’d be single at this stage in my life.” My hope is to help as many of them as possible.

1. Root Beer Barrel 2. Pez 3. Turkish Taffy 4. Mary Jane 5. Sugar Daddy

6. Candy Cigarette 7. Wax Lips 8. Hot Tamales 9. Boston Baked Beans 10. Bit O Honey

Love in the ’50s and ’60s 1. “Secret Love” 6. “Will You Love Me Tomorrow?” 2. “Love is a Many-Splendored 7. “Love with the Proper Thing” Stranger” 3. “Love Me Tender” 8. “From Russia with Love” 4. “April Love” 9. “Love is Blue” 5. “The Book of Love” 10. “To Sir with Love”

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4. Pursue activities you enjoy where both sexes are involved. For guys repairing old cars, you likely won’t meet a potential mate. Ditto for women who are quilting. 5. Get the body moving. Walk and exercise. Be friendly to folks you see along the way. Offer to walk with them if appropriate. 6. Keep expectations in check. Meeting a potential mate won’t be easy, but don’t give up. It takes time. 7. Internet dating is one method of meeting potential mates. For people living in remote areas, online dating may be a necessity to meet new people. For people 50-plus, online dating is risky. There are scammers and evil people looking for vulnerable and lonely singles. However, it has worked for lots of couples. If a guy online sounds too good to be true, he is. Trust your instincts. Don’t be naïve. 8. Smile and be friendly, positive, and upbeat. If you are in a post-

office line, or a grocery-store line, be assertive by striking up a conversation—but don’t be overly pushy about it. 9. Check out the website Meetup (www.meetup.com). There is no cost and they have clubs and groups across the U.S. that cover all kinds of special interests. Pick some different ones and attend them. You will be enriching your life and making new friends. 10. Subscribe to my weekly On Life and Love after 50 e-newsletter at www. FindingLoveAfter60.com. There is no cost. More than 1,000 singles ages 50 to 90 from across the country share their experiences, frustrations, and successes. Above all, recharge your batteries and get out and meet new people. I’m betting our friend Ken will be up and running in no time. For dating information, previous articles, or to sign up for Tom’s complimentary, weekly e-newsletter, go to www. findingloveafter60.com.

Save These Dates: May 2–6, 2016 For registration information, please call:

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“Exercising Body, Mind, and Spirit.”

The Last Laugh “I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes, because I know I’m not dumb ... and I also know that I’m not blond.” – Dolly Parton “The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.” – Mark Russell

Around Town Willow Valley Communities Receives ‘A’ Rating Willow Valley Communities announced recently that it has received an “A” rating with a Stable Rating Outlook from Fitch Ratings, a leading provider of credit ratings, commentary, and research. Fitch Ratings, based out of New York City and London, is the predominant rating agency in the senior-living sector. In addition to serving as a tool for investors, in senior living communities the ratings communicate overall financial health to the residents who live there as well as to prospective residents as they assess a particular organization’s strength. In supporting its rating, Fitch cited Willow Valley Communities’ unique national market draw, with current residents coming from 37 different states. Fitch believes that geographic diversity of WVC’s residents helps insulate it from potential stress in the local economy or housing market. Fitch also noted Willow Valley Communities’ “solid financial profile,” current demand, and plans for future growth as contributing to the “A” rating.

Military Officers Association Offering Scholarship The Lancaster Chapter of the Military Officers Association of America (MOAA) is offering a one-time scholarship to a student from Lancaster County, according to chapter president U.S. Army CW3 Antonio Cerase. This $1,500 CDR Gerald McComber Memorial Scholarship will be for the 2016 scholarship year. To be eligible, applicants must be a citizen of the United States and maintain a permanent residence in Lancaster County. They must be high school seniors planning to attend a postsecondary school of higher learning or students at a postsecondary institution of higher learning enrolled in ROTC. Applicants must also have an immediate family member (parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, sibling, or cousin) who has served or is serving honorably in the United States military. Applications are available at all county high school guidance departments. Applications, along with all supporting materials, should be submitted no later than Thursday, March 31, to MOAA, P.O. Box 5031, Lancaster, PA 17601-5031. The scholarship winner will be announced in May. If you have local news you’d like considered for Around Town, please email mjoyce@onlinepub.com

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50plus LIFE •

February 2016

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