finding fall

story by | deb uglem

Fall is usually my favorite time of year. I like the crispness in the morning air, the colors changing, and the slipping away of summer. It is about change and I like that and, frankly, I pride myself on how well I adapt. However, this year is different. Fall 2013 has brought on one of the biggest changes in my life. No, it’s not menopause [note to self: article idea for distant future!]. This year our household took a hit. We went from a family of six to three in a matter of two days—three boys now off to new adventures. Now, in all honesty, my oldest was gone last year but he has been home since spring and things felt back to normal. I knew the day was coming, but when they left it felt like a whirlwind.

Of course, weeks before they all said, “See ya, Mom.” I was handling it well…from my perspective. I would hug them as they passed through the kitchen, give tips on packing, and of course question daily their exact departure date. At one point I suggested they needed more cargo space and I would be happy to drive the little boys [18, 18, and 19 years old] to their destination. They handled it well and pacified my anxiousness. As I look back now I might have been hovering. Nay! My husband and daughter were acting cool, pretending like it wasn’t fazing them. Dad was suggesting they leave days earlier—something about scheduled appointments [that’s just crazy talk!]. Sister was dancing around bragging about TV access time and a parking space in the garage.

Then the day arrived. I hugged them and headed to work. Sister hugged them and cried. I knew she was going to miss them. Dad began texting me by 9am, questioning my emotional state, but I knew we were in the same