Options Magazine-August 2014 by Options Magazine

options August 2014

LGBTQ News, Resources & Events

Know Your RI Gay Bar History pg. 20

Rhode Island’s LGBTQ community magazine since 1982 — FREE

options

In This Issue:

LGBTQ News, Resources & Events

Rhode Island’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer community news source since 1982 August 2014 Vol. XXXIII, Issue 4

Publisher Kyle McKendall kyle@optionsri.org Editor in Chief Jen Stevens editor@optionsri.org Calendar Editor Samuel Simas info@optionsri.org

Out on the Town

Resources Editor Nathaniel Zane nate@optionsri.org

pg. 12

Copy Editors Steve Kagan, Elizabeth LaRoque, Joseph Morra, Maria Phillips, Myra Shays, Nate Zane

LGBT Film Fest pg. 10

Bob Thibeault Still in Business pg. 14

4 Letter from the Editor 4 Calendar 6 Letter from the Publisher 6 Our Advertisers 7 Your Letters 8 News Briefs 10 Providence LGBTQ Film Fest 12 Out on the Town 14 Interview with Bob Thibeault 18 Pride at the Beach

Worth a Look: Lesbian Marriage: A Sex Survival Kit pg. 39

20 I’ll Meet You At... 23 Gala Bowling 24 Conflicting Messages 25 Rhode Island Pride 26 Sen. Nesselbush on Feminism 27 AIDS Walk for Life 28 SAGE 29 AIDS Care Ocean State 30 Resources 39 Worth a Look

Home delivery is free! Sign up online or send your name and mailing address to info@optionsri.org. Connect with us online! Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and Issuu

Graphic Design Theresa Barzyk Writers Tony Aguilar, Kurt Bagley, Chelsea Boulrisse, Daniel Byrnes, Christopher Dalpe, Brian Gay, Jodi Glass, Ethan Frederick Grant, Bradford Greer, Sally Ann Hay, Constance Kristofik, The Lit Chick, Amber Ramundo, Samuel Simas, Jen Stevens Photographers Jack Hartwein-Sanchez, Elizabeth LaRoque Advertising Director Traci Allen advertising@optionsri.org Finance Director Donny McKendall billing@optionsri.org Subscriptions Francis Ryan frank@optionsri.org General Information info@optionsri.org

PO Box 6406 Providence, RI 02940 (401) 724-LGBT www.optionsri.org

© OPTIONS 2014. Options is published monthly. The opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the governing board, volunteers or staff. Listings are provided as a resource and do not imply endorsement. Submissions to Options must include a phone number or email address.Names may be withheld on request.Submissions,ads,calendar or resource listings for the September issue must be delivered byAugust 15.

Options | August 2014

From the Editor Dear Reader, Options originated with a mission to inform LGBT community members of the options specifically available to them, whether in the arenas of health care, legal support, spiritual acceptance, or safe places to gather. The most literal evolution of that mission is found in our treasured Resources section (pg. 30), while our Calendar of Events (pg. 4) completes the picture for those seeking adventure or stimulating social activities. The summer is blazing on and there’s still so much gay fun to be had! If you haven’t had your fill of excitement and socializing this season, this issue is sure to steer you in the right direction. Here are some highlights… The Pawtucket Red Sox bring together RI Pride, the LGBT Community Center, Options Magazine, and The Providence Gay Men’s Chorus for their First Annual LGBTQ Night on August 4 (pg. 29). Had enough sun already? The Providence LGBT Film Fest (August 5-10) offers some excellent selections this year, which are summarized on page 10. TransJourney is receiving a lot of buzz, as it makes its international debut. Beachlovers, you won’t want to miss OutCT’s family-friendly Pride Day at the Beach on August 23. This seaside celebration features activities and entertainment for everyone. Fear not-- if Rhode Island groups like the Ocean State Pride Volleyball League and SAGE-RI can make the one-hour trip to New London from Providence to participate, you can too. For more details of the day’s festivities, check out our feature story on page 18. September brings two especially important annual events. I hope you’ll mark your calendars for September 7 as Options Magazine accepts the 2014 Spirit of Pride Award at Rhode Island Pride Honors (pg. 25), alongside our own Jack HartweinSanchez, recipient of the Pyramid of Pride Award. This event is the Pride organization’s premier fundraiser where outstanding volunteer contributors are rewarded, whether for lifetime achievement, excellence in leadership, crucial effort, or fantastic float decoration. It’s always heartwarming to spend a night joyfully appreciating generous acts. September 27 marks the 29th Annual AIDS Walk for Life (pg. 27), an event with which our readers are sure to be familiar. Your walk team is waiting for you! As if we haven’t given you enough reason to leave the house this season, we don’t want you to forget your friendly neighborhood gay bars. In this issue and next, longtime Options contributor Bradford Greer brings us back to the beginnings of institutions such as the Mirabar and DeVille’s (pg. 20)while our On the Shoulders of Giants series revisits 47 years of Bob Thibeaultowned businesses as he prepares to open the doors of yet another new downtown club (pg. 14). Get out there and take advantage of all the summer has to offer, now that you know your options. In solidarity, Jen Stevens

Providence LGBTQ Film Festival August 5-10

August Sun. 3 LGBT Wedding Expo, 12:30-3:30pm. Providence

Marriott, Downtown, 1 Orms Street, Providence. For more info and to order tickets: 828-645-8750, 9am-5pm or events@rainbowweddingnetwork.com.

Sun. 3 Options release party, 3-6pm. The Stable, 125

Washington Street, Providence. Join Options Magazine for the release of the latest issue. www.optionsri.org.

Mon. 4 First Annual PawSox LGBTQ Night, 7:05pm.

McCoy Stadium, 1 Columbus Avenue, Pawtucket. Contact Samantha Sousa for tickets ($10): ssousa@pawsox.com or 724-7300 ext. 168.

Tue. 5 – Sun. 10 Providence LGBTQ Film Festival: Celebrating Diversity, Identity and Discovery. Most films will be shown at Bell Street Chapel, 5 Bell St., Providence. For more info, see www.film-festival.org/ Prov.GLBT.Fest.php or the Facebook LGBTQ Film Fest Group, email info@film-festival.org, or call 861-4445.

Wed. 6 GLAD’s One Year of Marriage Equality in

Rhode Island: Making History, Changing Lives, with Janson Wu. Conversation on the state of marriage across the country, 6-8pm. Local 121, Washington Street, Providence. Please register at www.glad.org/events. There is no fee to attend.

Sun. 10 RI Prime Timers, 4:30-7pm, network for gay

and bisexual men 50+. Social, dinner, and meeting. For more info. see www.riprimetimers.org or call Steve at 996-3010.

Wed. 13 RI Pride Events Committee Meeting, 7-9pm.

Pride Center, 1005 Main St. #1105, Pawtucket, in the Hope Artiste Village. Join Pride volunteers in planning exciting events such as The Goddess Show, Triple Crown Pageant, and Rhode Island Pride Honors. Email info@ prideri.com or call 467-2130 for more details.

Wed. 20 Queer Book Club, 7-9:30pm. Books on the

Square, 471 Angell St. The Summer Book by Tove Jansson. Discount if book is purchased at Books on the Square. For more info, email queerbookclub@gmail.com.

Options | August 2014

Calendar of Events Out CT Pride at the Beach August 23

Fri. 22 Erin Foley: Lady with Pockets Comedy Tour, 8:30pm (doors open at 7:30pm). The Dark Lady, 17 Snow Street, Providence.

Sat. 23 OutCT presents Pride at the Beach, all-day event. Ocean Beach Park, 98 Neptune Ave., New London, CT. $6/person beach fee. Pride activities are free: live music, volleyball tournament, forums and discussions, kids space, roving boardwalk performances, vendors, rides, Tea Dance 6-8pm. For more info, www.outct.org.

Sun. 24 Lube Wrestling, The X Room at Club Ego. Ten

matches. Raffles, giveaways, safe-sex kits. Benefits RI Pride. For more info, www.prideri.com, info@prideri.com.

Rhode Island Pride Honors September 7

Wed. 17 Queer Book Club, 7-9:30pm. Books on the

Square, 471 Angell St., Providence. Crackpot by John Waters. Discount if book is purchased at Books on the Square. For more info, email queerbookclub@gmail.com.

Wed. 24 RI Pride Open House, 7-9pm. RI Pride Center, 1005 Main Street #1105, Pawtucket, in the Hope Artiste Village. All are welcome to socialize and discuss what’s happening in the Pride organization and the larger LGBT community. For more information call 467-2130 or email info@prideri.com.

Sat. 27 29th Annual Walk for Life, registration 9am. Rhode Island State House lawn. Benefits AIDS Project RI, which provides education, prevention, testing, and a range of services for people living with HIV/AIDS in RI.

Wed. 27 RI Pride Open House, 7-9pm. RI Pride Center, 1005 Main Street #1105, Pawtucket, in the Hope Artiste Village. All are welcome to socialize and discuss what’s happening in the Pride organization and the larger LGBT community. For more information call 467-2130 or email info@prideri.com.

Thu. 28 Sex Trivia with the Center for Sexual Pleasure

& Health, 8pm. The Salon, 57 Eddy St., Providence. $10 for teams up to 4. Sponsored by Options Magazine.

Thu. 28 TGI Emergency Medical Care Discussion; email

for time and location. Discussion groups with trans, gendervariant, and intersex (TGI) Rhode Islanders 18 years of age and older, about barriers to seeking emergency care. For more information, or to participate, email us at tgied@lifespan.org.

Regularly Scheduled Support Groups:

ACOS (youth) – Tue. 4pm, (gay males) – Wed. 1:30pm Alcoholics Anonymous (LGBT group) – Tue. 7pm COLAGE (children of LGBTs) – 3rd Sat. 10:30am PFLAG (parents, family, allies) – 1st Wed. 6:45pm TGI Network (trans, intersex) –1st & 3rd Tue. & Sat. 7pm TransFamily New England - 2nd Mon. 6:30pm Youth Pride Inc./Way Out – Tue. 5pm See Resources on page 30 for more info.

September Sun. 7 Rhode Island Pride Honors, 7-10pm, Aqua at the

Marriott Providence Downtown, 1 Orms Street. Pyramid of Pride Presented to Jack Hartwein-Sanchez, Spirit of Pride presented to Options Magazine, Parade & Volunteer Awards given. Cash bar, appetizers. $35/$60/couple. For tickets and info, www.prideri.com.

Sun. 14 RI Prime Timers, 4:30-7pm, network for gay and

bisexual men 50+. Social, dinner, and meeting. For more info see www.riprimetimers.org or call Steve at 996-3010.

Options | August 2014

From the Publisher Dear Reader, My name is Kyle McKendall and I’m here to recruit you. Harvey Milk, a visionary for civil and human rights and the first openly gay elected official, opened many of his speeches seeking recruits for his mission of giving the LGBTQ community hope. In this letter, I seek readers interested in ensuring our community continues to cultivate its stage for dialogue, as Options has been that platform since 1982 – a voice for the otherwise voiceless. Our presence as a community magazine can be maintained only if it’s comprised of a diverse group of community members. We need your ideas, opinions, and energy. Your feedback is essential. Passionate debate is what helped us get here. Help us adapt to better serve our community and keep the conversation alive. Furthering Options does not require writing and editing skills alone. Your background or passion in marketing, accounting, management, event planning, or development would greatly benefit our organization. If you’ve found this issue on a public shelf, consider subscribing to receive our publication in the mail each month. It’s free, and displaying it on your coffee table will grow our overall reach. Advise a friend to sign up. Make sure every queer and ally you know is aware of Options, and encourage them to engage with us. Perhaps you can start meaningful dialogue with your employer about advertising with us. As you shop at businesses or meet candidates for elected office, continue the conversation. If they don’t directly support the LGBTQ community’s publication of record, explain how their ad will reach a targeted demographic. Help our advertisers thrive by patronizing them, and thank them for their support. Corporate giving and candidate support should not be limited to a single donation during the Pride festivities. We need engaged and involved corporate and political communities that seek to support us, because we have a lot to offer in return. Yes, our community’s needs are different from when Milk was demanding that we’ve “got to give them hope.” I can only hope that there are others out there itching for a more radical and passionate dialogue about where our community is heading. Why is it so important you ask? As Milk said, “Unless you have dialogue, unless you open the walls of dialogue, you can never reach to change people’s opinion.” Onward, Kyle McKendall

Advertisers in This Issue 7, 19 & 24 AIDS Care Ocean State 19 Bill Hendrickson - Electrician 16 Blue Cross Blue Shield of Rhode Island 19 Bob DaRocha - Realtor 25 City Kitty 26 Gregory’s Optical 23 High Rocks Condominiums 38 JDHS Photos 26 John D. DaPonte - Mental Health Counselor 32 Linda Handel - Mental Health Counselor 33 Marjorie L. Roblin - Mental Health Counselor 27 Pell for Governor 35 Plumbing by Paul 17 The Providence Flea 31 Quidnessett Country Club 34 Rameaka Law Offices 22 Residential Properties 36 Rhode Island Association of Gay Professionals 40 Rhode Island LGBTQ Center 38 Rue De L’Espoir 02 The Satin Doll 37 Stephen J. Dennis - Lawyer 05 Town Hall Lanes Please Support Our Publication! For over 32 years, Options has provided the LGBTQ community with news, resources, and event listings. Please consider making a contribution to help support the cost of printing and mailing. Checks can be made out to Options Magazine and mailed to PO Box 6404, Providence, RI 02940. Online donations accepted at www.optionsri.org.

Options | August 2014

Your Letters My name is Ron Parisi. I’m 56 years old and live in Newport. I’m a huge fan and subscriber to Options and was thrilled to discover “RI’s LGBTQ community news source since 1982” when I moved here from NYC. I look forward each month to finding the latest issue of Options in my mailbox. I would feel remiss if I didn’t bring up a concern, which was brought to light by the cover art of Options June 2014 “Pride Issue.” The (mostly wonderful) cover depicts our LGBTQ history of activism with a loud-and-proud Harvey Milk supporter; a height-of-the-AIDS-epidemic, red-ribbonwearing figure with head bowed; a “Stop-the-Hate” activist with a protest sign held loud and proud over their head; a couple getting married; and a (I assume) transgender individual loudly and proudly waving our rainbow flag - a wonderful visual history of the past 40 or so years of LGBTQ activism, but with one big problem. The “AIDS years” figure is depicted as a passive, head bowed, red ribbon wearing, hands clasped behind his back, feet spread immobile, standing in place respectful but downtrodden figure - sad. This depiction does a terrible disservice to the women and men of ACT UP RI (and all of ACT UP nationwide). There certainly were some, if not many, in our community who passively stood around wearing red ribbons (as wellintentioned as that might have been) while the plague whirled around us. The activists among us - led by ACT UP - were hardly passive with heads bowed. As I’m sure you know (or at least I certainly hope you are aware), ACT UP (along with Queer Nation), who coined the term “Out Loud and Proud,” brought LGBTQ activism to new and highly effective heights, the results of which are still being felt/seen/lived today. If you are not familiar with How to Survive a Plague (Oscar-nominated for Best Feature Length Documentary in 2013), I highly recommend you view it – http://surviveaplague. com. We did a lot, but one thing we never did was stand around passively with our heads bowed and hands clasped behind our backs. Last year I headed an effort to make sure that How to Survive a Plague was available in RI public libraries. I made sure that at least 10 RI public libraries statewide have copies available for free to the public. History is important. Our shared LGBTQ activist history is important. The generations coming after us need to know - through our words and pictures - our true history, including the fact that when the plague hit, LGBTQ women and men did not passively stand around with heads bowed. Our nearconstant chant was (loudly with arms in the air), “Act up! Fight back! Fight AIDS!” It would have been more historically accurate, and more in keeping with your depictions of LGBTQ activism, to see that figure with that sign in between “Elect Harvey Milk” and “Stop the Hate” on your Pride front cover. Sincerely, Ron Parisi, Newport

Options | August 2014

News Briefs

Obama Signs Executive Order Protecting LGBTs in the Workplace

State Marriage Bans Continue to be Overturned

In July, President Barack Obama signed an executive order aimed at protecting workers by including sexual orientation and gender identity to the requirement that federal contractors not discriminate based on race, color, religion, sex or national origin. The order extends similar protections to federal employees and applies to about 20% of the U.S. workforce. Obama said the order was a reminder of the “extraordinary progress that we have made not just in our lifetimes but in the last five years, the last two years, the last one year.”

Florida became the 16th consecutive state to have its samesex marriage ban overturned since last year’s historic Supreme Court decision deeming the Federal Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional. Human Rights Campaign Legal Director Sarah Warbelow said the “court ruling in Florida is further proof that America is ready for marriage equality nationwide.… Unfortunately, same-sex couples in a majority of states still don’t have the right to marry, creating a confusing patchwork of marriage laws across the country. This is not only unsustainable, but it’s also unconstitutional.” Kentucky and Colorado marriage bans were also overturned last month.

The Kids Are All Right - No, Really, They Are

LGBT AA Group Has New Home in Providence

Children raised by same-sex families have better health and well-being in comparison to children raised by opposite-sex couples, according to the Australian Study of Children Health in Same-Sex Families.The research aimed to “describe the physical, mental, and social well-being” of children with gay and lesbian parents, and “the impact that stigma has on them.” On average, children raised by same-sex couples scored six percent higher than the general population when it came to general health and family cohesion. In other categories such as behavior, mental health, and self-esteem, those children reportedly scored the same as those raised by heterosexual parents. The study was conducted by the University of Melbourne.

Starting August 5, the RI LGBT Alcoholics Anonymous Group will meet at its new home at the Wellness Company located at 132A George M Cohan Blvd. in Providence. The meeting is held every Tuesday from 7pm-8pm, and all are welcome to attend. The meeting was formerly held at the Anchor Recovery Community Center in Pawtucket. RI LGBT AA’s new location in Providence will be more centrally located for greater convenience. The group’s objective is to be an inviting place for new and old members to attend. The LGBT group has just celebrated its 38th year anniversary and has a strong fellowship.

Options | August 2014

News Briefs

Frank M. Robinson, Harvey Milk Speechwriter and Author, Dies at 87 Robinson, a science fiction writer, LGBT activist, and speechwriter for San Francisco City Supervisor Harvey Milk, died on June 30. Dustin Lance Black, executive producer and screenplay writer for the 2008 film Milk, remembered Robinson in a Human Rights Campaign press release: “For Frank, the word ‘hope’ was not a notion for our dreams; it was a bold call for immediate action in a time when it was illegal to be gay in every corner of this nation.” Black remembers Robinson calling the U.S. a “checkerboard nation of contradictory laws” that “still denied LGBT people hope and pride.” Black adds, “Hope is something Robinson desperately wanted for us all.”

Grindr at Center of Judge Judy Case On a recent TV episode of Judge Judy, Judge Judith Sheindlin presided over a case involving two men who met through the popular app Grindr. The 47-year-old plaintiff was suing defendant Aaron Murphy, a 23-year-old college student, for an unpaid “loan.” Murphy claimed the money was a “gift” from the plaintiff who acted as a “mentor” toward him. Murphy explained, “Um, we met on a, um... social website. The social website is called Grindr. It’s a social app where it tells you where homosexual males are, and their proximity to where you are.” After hearing both arguments, Sheindlin dismissed the case because the plaintiff signaled he gave Murphy the funds with no reasonable expectation of repayment. Before adjourning with her gavel, the judge hammed it up using her trademark wit and earned uneasy laughter from the audience.

U.S. Department of Labor to Protect Transgender Workers from Employment Discrimination

The Fenway Institute Hosts Groundbreaking Meeting on Bisexual Health Research

Last month, the Department of Labor announced it would be updating enforcement protocols and antidiscrimination guidelines, and added gender identity as a protected category in its equal employment opportunity statement. This new regulation is consistent with the 2012 case Macy v. Holder, in which the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission determined that discrimination based on an individual’s gender identity is sex discrimination, and thus constitutes a violation of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Leading bisexual health researchers and other community leaders came together to form the Bisexual Research Collaborative on Health. “BiRCH” will look for ways to raise public awareness of bi health issues and will plan a national conference. The 20+ attendees included Boston area, national, and international researchers, as well as representatives from other influential bisexual organizations. The Fenway Institute at Fenway Health is an interdisciplinary center for research, training, education, and policy development focusing on national and international health issues.

Options | August 2014

Laverne Cox Makes History with Emmy Nomination Laverne Cox, the actress who plays transgender character Sophia Burset in the Netflix original series Orange Is the New Black, made history by becoming the first openly transgender actress to receive an Emmy nomination, the category being Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series. Cox has utilized her newfound fame to advocate for transgender rights and recognition. The Emmys will air Monday, August 25, on NBC.

RI International Film Festival’s

LGBTQ Film Fest By Chelsea Boulrisse and Amber Ramundo

n its 15th year, the popular Providence LGBTQ Film Festival (August 5–10), a cinematic sidebar of the Flickers: Rhode Island International Film Festival (RIIFF), brings filmgoers a diverse sampling of over 40 international and domestic films made by and for members of the LGBTQ community. Ranging from romantic comedies and journeys of discovery to concerns affecting the trans* community, the Providence LGBTQ Film Festival has been curated to complement the LGBTQ experience. This year, programming will include an expanded focus on growing social and political issues for LGBTQ youth, specifically targeting bullying and its societal impact. The festival kicks off this year on Wednesday, August 6, at Nicolas Greinacher from Switzerland, who will be in attendance the Bell Street Chapel with a filmmaker reception party at 7pm. along with the film’s lead actress. An exciting roster of premiere films in a shorts program called Other notable LGBTQ films to look for throughout the week Breaking OUT: LGBTQ Films on the Edge, begins at 8pm and of festival include: includes: Dinner At 40, Foreign Relations, Clan, Barrio Boy, Steve’s TransJourney, Directed by Alexia Kosmider & Blue Wade, 50 Problem, Homophonia, Passing Ellenville, Le Retour, and Jean. (Full min. USA, 2014 descriptions of the films can be found at http://riff.festivalgenius. Similar to going on a journey to explore an unknown territory, com/2014/films/category/LGBTQ.) TransJourney explores three women’s personal journeys and the ways that their lives have become intertwined and made stronger because of one another. Out to Kill, Directed by Rob Williams, 83 min. USA, 2014 When private investigator Jim Noble moves into a beautiful loft complex in Tampa, he never expects to find his first case literally right outside his door. Kumu Hina, Directed by Joe Wilson, 75 min. USA, 2013 In mainland America, as in most of the world, gender nonconforming people face constant prejudice, discrimination, and violence. But in Hawaiian culture, mahu – those who embrace both the masculine and feminine traits that are embodied in each one of TransJourney us – are valued and respected. Invisible, Directed by Dionisio Traverso, 98 min. USA, 2014 The 18th annual Flickers: Rhode Island International Film Invisible documents the population of male prostitutes in Festival begins Tuesday, August 5, at the Providence Performing Providence, Rhode Island.The film uncovers the secret lives of both Arts Center. The Festival has an engaging lineup for opening night former and current male prostitutes – hustlers to those in the with the screening of ten great short films including the North know – who sell themselves to support drug habits. American Premiere of the LGBTQ film, “Sandrine” directed by

Options | August 2014

Journey 4 Artists, Directed by Michele Noble, 99 min. USA, 2014. Journey 4 Artists is a unique documentary feature that demonstrates how the power of music has the ability to elevate both the performer and the audience beyond divergent religious, political, and ideological boundaries.

Waiting in the Wings: The Musical, Directed by Jenn Page, 107 min. USA, 2014 Waiting in the Wings is a story of mistaken identity that takes us into the lives of Anthony, a musical theatre performer, and Tony, a professional stripper. Dinner at 40, Directed by Carl Byrd, 19 min. USA, 2014 Dinner at 40 is a comedy about being gay, turning forty, and navigating love and friendships. Today is the day that Chuck (Sean Dugan) both dreaded and is most excited about - he’s turning forty and asking his boyfriend, Cody (Rich Ceraulo), to marry him. As things steer off course, he gets more and more insecure. Will this night go down as the worst marriage proposal in history or the most romantic one? Surrounded by his closest friends, frenemies, a trick and a surprise guest, the tables are turning this quiet gathering into more than Chuck can handle.

Journey 4 Artists The Last Straight Man, Directed by Mark Bessenger, 110 min. USA, 2014 Lewis, a closeted gay man, is secretly in love with his straight best friend, Cooper. After a drunken hook-up after Cooper’s bachelor party, the two men decide to meet every year in the same hotel room on the same night to catch up on their lives and further explore their sexuality. Each year, Lewis gets closer to revealing his feelings for Cooper but his friend’s difficulty in handling their sexual trysts keeps him quiet. Five nights over a tenyear period are depicted, showing how their friendship/relationship changes, and explores the boundaries of sexuality. Families Are Forever, Directed by Vivian Kleiman, 20 min. USA, 2013 Tom and Wendy were devout Mormons: they attended church every Sunday, held leadership roles in their ward, followed every church teaching, and believed in family values. Families were heterosexual and stayed together for eternity. So when the Mormon Church asked them to go door-to-door to support California’s Proposition 8 to stop gay marriage, they responded by posting Prop 8 signs in their yard and set out to convince others in their conservative community to vote against same-sex marriage. What they didn’t know and would never have guessed was that their 10-year-old son who heard them say such negative things about gay people was starting to realize that his parents were talking about him. Electric Indigo, Directed by Jean-Julien Collette, 24 min. Belgium, France, 2014 Sometimes it’s complicated for a young girl to face peer pressure while learning of her own identity - especially when she never knew her mother, and her only reference is the love of two heterosexual fathers united by the bonds of a non-carnal marriage.

Options | August 2014

Dinner at 40 As in past years, discussion panels with filmmakers and LGBTQ community members will follow select screenings to develop community discourse by discussing topics raised by the films. This year’s topics will include bullying, hate crimes, and issues confronting members of the transgender community. Admission to each set of screenings is $10 (except for the opening night program at PPAC which is $15). Please see www.RIFilmFest.org for full details and a downloadable schedule of the films. The Flickers: Rhode Island International Film Festival (RIIFF) has secured its place in the global community as the portal for the best in international independent cinema, earning the respect of domestic and foreign filmmakers, filmgoers, and trend watchers. This confluence of art and commerce brought together worldclass celebrities, award-winning filmmakers, new talent, and audience members in record numbers last year. Ranked as one of the top 10 festivals in the United States, RIIFF is also a qualifying festival for the Short Film Academy Award through its affiliation with the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences.There are 19 film festivals worldwide that share this distinction and RIIFF is the only festival in New England.The Festival takes place every August. Flickers’ programming and community outreach is supported by the Rhode Island Foundation’s Equity Action, a field-of-interest fund at the Foundation that advances equitable treatment to improve the quality of life for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender Rhode Islanders. For more information about RIIFF, please visit www.rifilmfest.org.

OUT On the Town Photos by Jack Hartwein-Sanchez and Elizabeth LaRoque

Pride Volunteer Appreciation Party Options Release Party 12

Options | August 2014

OUT on the Town

Options | August 2014

“On the Shoulders of Giants”

An interview with Bob Thibeault

Jen Stevens

Bob Thibeault (pronounced tee-bo) has been operating gay bars in Rhode Island for 47 years. His roster of clubs is about a dozen locations long. I tended bar for Bob at The Gallery from 2006-2012 while it was home to GirlSpot. Lesbians will recall Bob as “the Hugh Hefner of GirlSpot.” Club 333, his newest venture, was undergoing renovations as we met. It’s on Westminster St. within walking distance of many gay bars in downtown Providence.There’s a window front, long bar, dance floor, and DJ booth. I recognized barstools and wall hangings from The Gallery. Power tools buzzed and familiar middle-aged men came and went with renovations to perform as we sat down to chat. Options: How did you come to operate your first gay bar? Bob: I got out of the service in 1954 and finished my college education at Bryant University. I started off as an office manager at a computer company. I worked there for about seven years and in 1967, I set up my first bar. Somebody had told me about a small bar in Woonsocket in the lobby of a hotel. The bar was called the Mirabar. I ran that for a couple of years. It was a very big success, but the location was too big for the area. So I heard about another place, bought it, and changed the name to Club Continental. We had over 200, sometimes 250 people. I ran that for three years.

O: Did a woman originally own Mirabar? B: Yes, Margaret Fugere. If she had fifteen people on a Friday or a Saturday she was happy. I remember my first day -- a Friday. The club was full and the crowd overflowed into the lobby. I eventually sold it to Tony Bove who worked for me. Tony ran it in Woonsocket until he opened the Mirabar in Providence. He ran it there for a while, and that’s when he got John Dorr working for him. When Tony died John Dorr bought it. John Dorr transferred it up to Allens Avenue and it was a big success for him there. [Dorr still owns Mirabar, now on Elbow Street.] O: When you owned the Mirabar, it was certainly a different time. Did you have to keep the business in the closet? B: No, no I didn’t. I came out in the service. I didn’t touch a girl the whole time. I didn’t really understand what gay meant. You know, a gay person was a happy person. And then I realized it was a way of life. O: So you lived your life in the open? B: Well, there were police raids. I only ever got picked up once. I was the first one in the paddy wagon, but then they released us. I was never arrested. When I was caught in that raid is when I said I had it. That’s when I bought the Mirabar.

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O: Would you explain your coming out experience? B: Yeah, I was in the service. I think it was in ‘52. I’d been in the service [in London] for a couple of years and I met a person who worked in the embassy. He was American. His name was John. I remember that. And he sort of brought me out. I remember going to a small bar - very muggy - and we had to go downstairs, and I was drinking Pimm’s Cup. They were very popular. O: Yeah, those are good. B: [Laughs] I had several of those. I couldn’t feel my legs. We called a taxi to his apartment and I had to walk up a flight of stairs. It took twenty minutes to get up those stairs.The last thing I remember was putting my foot on the cab’s running board. Then I was gone. He put me to bed. I woke up in the morning; I was just in my shorts. “What happened? What happened?” I said. John said, “I did nothing, believe me, Bob!” [Laughs.] I went out with him until I left London. John went back to the States and worked at the embassy. And that reminds me...The Art and Bachelor Club in London was the first gay club I went to. It was real nice. O: Did you come out to your parents? B: Nope. Never came out to my parents at all. I went out with this one person, Tony, when I was young, which was just before I met Kenny. My aunt thought the world of Tony. But Tony went off and moved to Florida and died of AIDS. So… My aunt thought the world of Kenny too. She thought Kenny was like a son. Not a son, but a nephew.

group. They’d call me in advance and make reservations for that Sunday night because they’d leave P-town after a Saturday night and stay the night in Providence at the Gallery. We did that for four years. During that interim, I bought The Loft in Smithfield, which I ran for 29 years. At one point I was running three clubs. O: Where was your third club? B: I had another little bar called Spectrum. That was on Union St. It’s a parking lot now. I ran it for ten years. I had Spectrum, The Loft, and the Gallery during the same time. O: Which was your favorite bar to run? B: The Loft was a lot of pleasure for me because the gay community really loved it. Our first year, there was a giant snowstorm. A cop came by and said, “How come you’re not closed?” I said, “Well, look.” The place was packed. He said, “You’ve got more people in here than all the clubs in Smithfield.” Did you ever go in there? O: I did! I think The Loft was the first gay bar I ever went to, around 2002. I remember the pool and volleyball court. B: Well, I sold that in ‘06. I went in there recently and the guy told me, “Bob, we’ve had three owners since you and none has been as successful as you.” You know, you gotta keep the pool going... the chlorine and all that. Kenny mostly took care of that. The new owners did a gorgeous job remodeling that

O: How did you meet Kenny? B: Well, I was bartending at the Continental and he came into the bar. I said to myself, “He is the one for me.” My friends said I fell in love with him before I even knew it. Then we started going out. We’ve been together for 43 years and it’s been a very good relationship. And we never had any argument -- maybe disapproval, but never an argument -- in 43 years. O: Wow! That’s impressive. You hang on to somebody like that. B: Yeah. On our 25th anniversary I took him to Paris. We were in the Eiffel Tower and we were all, you know, amazed about the big view and all that. I said, “Did I do the right thing, Kenny?” He says, “Yeah.” I never felt like that since I’ve been back here. O: What came after Club Continental? B: In 1972, I opened the Gallery on Richmond Street. The Gallery was the greatest and busiest club in Providence. We ran that there for 16 years. We had two levels with a thousand people every Friday and Saturday. With the Gallery, we were known from Miami to Los Angeles. Every summer we had a group of people who came from New York. They were a black

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club. Imagine the gay community getting back there... we’d be in heaven.

B: Oh, yes, we had a lot of education. The staff, of course, did. Aids Care Ocean State sent us a lot of condoms.

O: Did you run any other clubs I may not have heard about?

[Kenny walks in.]

B: I once got an award from the Latino community in NewYork -an Honorable Mention, a big plaque, you know -- congratulating me for being the owner of a Latino club: Macondos.

B: Kenny, what was Shelly’s last name?

O: Have you had other businesses besides clubs? B: I opened up twelve fast foods joints. Kenny had gone to Puerto Rico. He likes tacos and there’s a place over there called Taco Maker. I got the address and I called them and I opened up twelve franchises in Massachusetts and Rhode Island.

Kenny: Who? B: Shelly, you remember? She opened that New Year’s Eve. K: Yeah, I was in the service at the time, honey. B: Oh yeah, were ya? No, ‘cause I met you at the Continental. That’s where I met you, first time. Remember what I said to you at the bar?

O: You’ve had a lot of employees over the years including me. Do you have any favorites?

K: Yes, love.

B: Craig was our longest employee - Craig Nason.

O: Do you have any favorite memories of any of your clubs? B: They are all favorite memories. My biggest pleasure came at the Continental when I realized the fact that the young gay men who didn’t know where to go found a home, a place to let loose, so to speak. Being gay, they were kind of closeted. A lot of people came out of their closet at the Continental. Every Christmas they would send me cards thanking me for opening the Continental and being openly gay. I kept them for a long while, because, like I said, that made me very happy.

O: Can I ask you how the AIDS crisis impacted you? B: I lost at least three employees. Well, when I closed the Gallery the first time it was partly because of AIDS. I lost a lot of customers and employees. There was a family of four boys and a girl and all four boys died.The family name was… I’ll think of it… O: Do you remember there being much AIDS education at the time?

B: I’m a little older than you, but I still have a good memory.

O: So is that partly why you still do this?

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O: All right. [Laughter.] B: I’ve had the longest run of gay bars.That is a fact. And, I’m not bragging. I am the oldest. O: Yeah, that’s for sure. Well, thank you very much, Bob. I wish you a lot of success. I hope to hear about the 333 grand opening; I’ll make my way over. B: Thank you, dear. On the Shoulders of Giants is an ongoing series showcasing those who have dedicated decades to furthering LGBTQ equality in RI and have made major contributions to our community’s shared history and victories. This is the fifth interview in the series. Please write to editor@optionsri.org with ideas for interview subjects.

B: Yup, yup, yup, yup. Because there are still people today who need a place where they feel at home. [Bob looks back to Kenny.] So, what else can we say, Kenny?

Subscribe and receive every issue of Options Magazine in the mail, for free! www.optionsri.org

O: Well, Bob… I really have no idea how old you actually are. I doubt you’re going to tell me. K: You can Google him and find out. B: Be quiet. O: (laughs) B: Nah, I’ll be honest. I’m 85. O: Wow! See, now I feel like you just came out to me. [Laughter.] Lastly, I’ll ask: Looking back, do you have any regrets? B: I have no regrets. There were some high points and low points. You know, in all of the years of owning a gay bar they’ve all been a pleasure for me. O: And you keep going, even now when most people probably would say, “All right, I’ve done enough; it’s my time to chill.” B: My goal, when I retire, is for them to take me out from [the bar] feet first. [Laughter.] That’s retiring. Like I said, it’s been 47 years. God willing… I’ve got longevity in the family. My oldest brother just turned 90. My brother after him is 88, my brother Ron is 87, and I’m 85. My sister Eileen is 80. And my sister Geraldine would’ve been 83. My aunt is 92. One of my grandfathers died at 98. He had three sisters: two lived to 102; one lived to 103. O: So you’re going to be around another 20 years? B: I’m aiming for ten.

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OutCT’s Pride at the Beach

Offers Something for

EVERYONE Constance Kristofik

ride has no boundaries as OutCT launches its summer Pride Festival at Ocean Beach Park in New London, CT (about one hour from Providence) on Saturday, August 23. Rhode Islanders

will join “Pride at the Beach” as its many activities include organizations from the Ocean State. Official activities begin at 11am with regional gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer organizations and supportive businesses, in addition to vendors who will sell their wares along a half-mile boardwalk on the Long Island Sound. The main stage is found in the center park with views of the ocean and access to ice cream, food, and a deck-top bar overlooking the festivities. Rhode Island native Erin Foley, comedian extraordinaire, will get the audience

laughing. Our full lineup of entertainment includes everything from folk to hiphop to African drumming and Native American dancing. At 1pm, the Hartford Gay Men’s Chorus will officially kick off the summer event while gay Mayor of New London, Daryl Justin Finizio, will welcome the community. Finizio grew up in Westerly and attended the University of Rhode Island. Political discussions will be available for the civic-minded, as a meet-and-greet of regional politicians occurs at 2pm on the Nautilus Deck. This area of the beach has its own cash bar overlooking the Sound and is designated for special gatherings. Also scheduled is an “Over 50 Mixer” sponsored by SAGE-RI and AARP. There is a special meet-and-greet for women brought to you by Curve Magazine and several meet-up groups will attend including RI Lesbian Social, Hartford Coffeehouse, and Lesbians of Southeastern Connecticut. Family Activities are boundless as Ocean Beach includes a splash

Erin Foley park, playground, amusement rides for little ones, waterslides, mini golf, and an Olympic-size swimming pool. In addition to free face painting by TDP Art Studio, there will be a Diva Center where children can become sparkled and bedazzled by OutCT volunteers. No kids yet but thinking of starting a family? There is a community forum on adoption by Wendy’s Wonderful Kids in an indoor meeting space. Other LGBTQ discussions may be held for those who want to explore the serious side of queer matters. Ocean Beach Park has a “sugar sand” beach with many volleyball courts for your pleasure. Ocean State Pride Volleyball League will have a tournament from 11:30am to 1pm with open play from 1:30-4pm. All ages are welcome. Look for the rainbow flags by the nets. If you’d like to stay for the weekend check out the Hyatt Mohegan Sun, the official Pride at the Beach hotel sponsor. There are special rates for the weekend. The hotel is located very close to the

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Carrie Ashton Mohegan Sun casino and around 20 minutes from the beach. The City of New London can be reached by Amtrak, followed by a short cab ride. Downtown you will find two gay bars and an array of restaurants, cafes, pubs, shops, and art galleries. The city is welcoming to the gay community, and there is an urban feel to this small city along the Thames River. There are two public parking lots downtown in case you want to take

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a taxi or local bus #13 to Ocean Beach Park (three miles away) so you can enjoy the city and nightlife before and after the festival. Live music acts include Carrie Ashton, Harper and Owen, Camacho, Arlene Wow!, Abdul Johnson a.k.a. J.A.B.S., and The Freedom Trail Band from Boston. There will be drag performances between acts, and roving performances on the boardwalk by Mystic Paper Beasts. The night will conclude with a Tea Dance with DJ Kid Nocturnal from 6–8pm on the center boardwalk. In case of rain, the main stage will be moved to a grand ballroom in the Park’s building complex, where you can enjoy the shows regardless of weather. Vendors will remain on the boardwalk but there will be indoor space for the forums, meet and greets, and dining. Ocean Beach Park is located at 98 Neptune Avenue in New London, around one hour from Providence, Hartford, and New Haven, and two hours from Boston and New York. The pride activities are free. The city-owned parking lot costs $22 per car. Visitors can also park on nearby streets and walk in.The beach has a daily entrance fee of $6 per person. More details on the event can be found at OutCT’s website: www.outct.org.

I’ll Meet You At… Bradford Greer

I’ll meet you at… The Mirabar, The Stable, DeVille’s, The Alley Cat, Dark Lady, Eagle, Ego, or Lola’s? If you’re a socializing member of the community, chances are at some point this year you’ve opened one of these doors and bellied up to the bar to order your beverage of the night and greeted your friends or surveyed the crowd with a cruising eye for who might be attractive to you. These days it’s pretty easy. There are Tweets, Instagram, Facebook pages, text messages, dating sites, full-page ads in our publications or, if you’re oldfashioned, voice mail.Today we have block parties, comedy nights, bear weekends, girls’ nights, Youth Pride, SAGE, PrimeTimers, fundraisers at the Biltmore, and an all-day festival followed by a parade, followed by a night of partying until the wee hours of the morning to celebrate who we are. It’s hard to imagine that it wasn’t always as open and free as it is now, and in truth, some communities within our country and in the world are still back in the gay dark ages. Hit the rewind button on Rhode Island’s gay bar history and you will start with The Mirabar in Woonsocket in 1947. OMG, were there actual gays back then? Margaret Fugere knew it. She opened the first gay bar in Rhode Island there and they came. But they did not flounce flamboyantly down the street and into a wellmarked entrance. They slid in casually or surreptitiously. Most bars were dark, dingy, and windowless. The law looked askance

at homosexuals congregating in public places. It was illegal for same-sex couples to dance, and bars were frequently raided. The police would make a public display of hauling you down to police headquarters where you could be arrested for public indecency. You became a “Known Homosexual” and were shamed much like Hester Prynne in The Scarlet Letter. In 1966 The Mirabar moved to Clemence Street in Providence with a bar on the first floor and a dance floor on the second. A light switch was installed behind the bar, which turned on a light upstairs in the dance room in order to alert the dancers that there was a police raid. That same year, transgender women in San Francisco rioted at Compton’s Cafeteria. It was the first recorded transgender riot in the United States. In New York there was an ordinance against serving alcohol to homosexuals. Back in Rhode Island, the Mirabar moved to Eddy Street until it was evicted in 1983. Paul Murphy began as a bartender when the Mirabar opened on Allens Avenue in October of 1985, where its new digs set the tone for class and style. After eight years it moved to Richmond Street and Paul is now the manager of one of the longest running gay bars in the country at its newly re-opened location on Elbow St. It bears the singular distinction of being the first gay bar so many Rhode Islanders came out in. For decades furtive entrances were its hallmark. In 1977 I walked into my first gay bar: Sporter’s in Boston. I

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had cased it out first. A few guys turned to look when I stepped inside. I quickly slunk into a corner to hide. When my breathing became normal I arranged myself to look as if I were a casual accessory to the cigarette machine. Then it happened. I spotted someone I knew from high school four years ago. I panicked and inched my way toward the door. Just before I reached it I stopped and realized that if he was in here too, he must be gay. Casually I detoured to the bar. I never needed a 7 & 7 more in my life. How many of us have experienced that moment of anxiety when entering a gay bar for the first time, and the panic when you meet someone you know there? In Allen Drury’s novel Advise and Consent, the fictional Senator Brigham Anderson kills himself in order to keep his homosexuality from being exposed. It was fiction based on fact. Blackmail was a constant fear. Our bars were our refuge. In Rhode Island we met secretly and behind closed doors and blacked out windows to drink, dance, shoot pool, cruise, kiss, talk, exchange ideas, commiserate, laugh, relax, and let our real personalities shine. And mum was the word. In 1967 The Advocate was first published as a local newspaper to alert gay men of police raids in Los Angeles bars. Never have so many done so much for so long to keep a secret as the LGBTQ community did before we became “a community.” The life-long practice of marrying to keep the secret was how many homosexuals got though life, the silver lining being the many wonderful children born out of those unions.

Fast forward to July 1989. When Gina Bartolumucci first opened DeVille’s in Davol Square as a full-time nightspot for women, there was more acceptance than in the sixties and

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seventies. Still, America had just come through two terms of President Ronald Reagan who would not publicly acknowledge that his son was gay nor utter the words AIDS in a public speech. When Ellen DeGeneres came out on her TV show, the women cheered inside DeVille’s. Outside, many did not approach the entrance. There were TV crews trying to interview lesbians coming and going to the club. Gina had to call the station and have them stop. Being out still carried severe professional penalties. Many could not afford to be identified because they could lose their jobs or, at the least, suffer harassment and discrimination. Her club was not just a nightclub. It was not just about getting drunk and hooking up. It was a haven for women to come and connect with others like themselves and to explore who they were and support one another as a community. DeVille’s was there for ten years before moving to the old foundry building on Allens Avenue. When the city forced her to move as highway construction began, she moved back onto Point Street until 2006 when she sold the club to Bob Thibeault, who re-opened it as The Gallery. Gina re-opened DeVille’s on South Water Street in Providence on Pride Day 2012. Over the years Gina has been struck by how many lesbians visiting from other states have told her that they do not have a full time women’s bar or club in their community. Twenty-five years ago there was not much advertising in Rhode Island for gay bars except for Options. Mostly you found out where to go by word of mouth or you left a message on someone’s answering machine. Our bars and nightclubs were an oasis in a social atmosphere of harassment, violence and discrimination.These were the only places where we could meet those who later became our friends, lovers, life partners and chosen families. Sadly, so many of the places where we formed our memories and met the important people in our lives have closed. Throughout the years we have said good bye to Kings and Queens, The Fife and Drum, The Fan Club, The Cabana, Wheels, Courtney’s, Sabastian’s, David’s, Castaways, The Loft, Kamp, Gerardo’s, Images, Generation X, Tramps, Yukon Trading Post,

The Galaxy, GirlSpot, Luna’s, Mix, Union Street, The Mirabar, The Mirabar, The Mirabar, The Mirabar, and DeVille’s, DeVille’s, DeVille’s. The Mirabar has already reopened. Have their patrons all returned? Sadly, DeVille’s closed at the end of June. Will they be able to re-open and survive in another location? For decades our bars have protected and supported us through police raids, city ordinances, arson, sodomy laws, the media, AIDS, breast cancer, and bullies of every type when we had no place else to go. Stay tuned next month, as we continue to explore our bar history and look at what, if anything, has changed in our local bar culture.

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GALACelebrates Bowling 25th Season Daniel Byrnes

hat started as a potluck dinner group for gay men and lesbians has been transformed into a league where the goal for members is to “socialize, have fun, and bowl.” This fall, the G.A.L.A. Bowling League (GBL) celebrates the start of its 25th season. G.A.L.A. (pronounced gay-la) stands for Gay And Lesbian Activities. During the summer of 1990, an ad was placed in Options for a G.A.L.A meeting for those interested in forming a gay/lesbian bowling league. About 15 people showed up for that meeting and the GBL was born. The first bowling alley they approached declined because management didn’t want to allow an organization of gays and lesbians to bowl there. Lang’s Bowlarama in Cranston stepped up and said that a gay/lesbian league would be most welcome there. So the first season of the GBL began in the fall of 1990 with 24 bowlers. Monday evenings for the next 12 years would see GBL continue to grow and flourish. The league changed bowling nights and locations in the fall of 2002, moving to Sunday nights at East Providence Lanes, its present location. It hasn’t been just all fun and socializing. GBL raises and donates money for local charities. Over the years, GBL has raised over $25,000 for Aids Care Ocean State and Sunrise House and has been a season sponsor of Gay Bingo for the past 13 years. The 2014-2015 season kicks off with a free night of bowling at 5:30pm, Sunday, August 24, at East Providence Lanes (80 Newport Avenue). Put together a group of 3-5 people and make your own team, or just show up and we’ll find a team for you. The season officially starts on the first Sunday after Labor Day, September 7. We meet every Sunday at 5:50pm. Dues for each week of bowling are $16 and include the lane fee, shoe rental and ball. It also pays for three or four parties and the post-season banquet. We’re looking forward to another successful season of friendship and bowling. See you there!

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Conflicting Messages Toward

Men Who Have Sex with Men Ethan Frederick Grant

In our hypersexualized culture, [marked by rampant internalized homophobia and heteronormativity] one might expect our sexual activities to reflect frank discussions of safe sex. Not so. Safe-sex education in the U.S. is woefully inadequate, a point well illustrated in the recent Zero Feet Away study published by NY-based Community Healthcare Network. The study found gay and bisexual male participants overwhelmingly expressed fear over HIV infection, yet almost half admitted to engaging in unprotected intercourse. Such cognitive dissonance is hardly surprising given the myriad contributing factors. A whopping 74% of participants in the Zero Feet Away study pointed to impulsive sexual behaviors in the heat of the moment as the reason for participating in unprotected sex. Dan Ariely’s book Predictably Irrational corroborates the study’s findings by scientifically highlighting subjects’ increased interest in various fetishes and sexual violence while in a hyperaroused state. Furthermore, the terrifying fear that defined the AIDS crisis has been replaced by indifference, and “Truvada Whore” has been embraced as a symbol of pride.* Some LGBT publications send mixed messages, featuring “get tested” bulletins alongside advertisements from bathhouses featuring bareback sex events.

“Education needs to start earlier. We provide education at the college level and see students in droves who are very unaware,” says Dr. Annie Russell, Director of URI’s LGBTQ Center.” As we have sex education in public schools around the freshman year of high school, that education needs to become more inclusive and go beyond heteronormativity so that we all begin to have a real understanding.” * Truvada is a pill, which if taken daily, is over 99% effective in preventing HIV. “Truvada Whore” became an internet meme and t-shirt slogan in promotion of the medication.

Today’s sex education is antiquated and impotent; classroom explanations of condom use are technical, with reactions limited to giggles and red faces. There is no discussion of our inability to think rationally in moments of lust, no warning of the emotional and psychological components of domestic violence. The impact of such ignorance can be found at sites like BreedingZone.com, a community dedicated to spreading HIV, “stealthing” (condom sabotage techniques), “booty bumps” (methamphetamines secretly mixed into lube), and other tactics to lure unsuspecting victims into an aroused stupor. Sex education should teach us how to defend ourselves against these tactics. An open dialogue is the key to success. Readers are urged to start a discussion on these topics with their national and local health services organizations (AIDS Care Ocean State and AIDS Project Rhode Island both serve the state).

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Rhode Island Pride

RI Pride Honors

Jack Hartwein-Sanchez, Options, & Volunteers by Kurt Bagley

Rhode Island Pride has been staying busy this summer. Soon after PrideFest, Colosseum was host to the Reveal Party of our Bartender of the Year fundraiser, which took place over three weeks in June. Many thanks to all the participating bars and bartenders, especially to our Bartender of the Year, Stacy Iasimone of DeVille’s, who raised $1750 from her generous patrons. Deville’s is temporarily closed, but we look forward to its re-opening with Stacy behind the bar again, hopefully sometime soon. A special thank-you to Anthony Santurri and his partners at Colosseum who have been extremely generous and supportive of Rhode Island Pride this year. Volunteers came out to our annual post-festival debriefing and offered up all kinds of feedback on how to improve the Festival and Parade in 2015. Most agree, despite a shortage of volunteers, that it was one of the smoothestrunning festivals in recent years. A key area that will need additional logistical support and a strong core of volunteers is the Illuminated Night Parade. With the City and the Providence Emergency Management Agency estimating upwards of 30,000 onlookers on the parade route, it will be necessary to give this part of our event additional support and to have fresh volunteers available to manage it. It is impressive how some volunteers who have been at the festival since 8am are still on their feet 14 hours later providing parade marshaling and crowd control, among other roles. If anyone is interested in helping with the Illuminated Night Parade or any other facet of the Festival, believe it or not, NOW is the time to get involved with Pride. Check out our meeting schedule on our calendar and website at www.prideri.com. Rhode Island Pride Honors, our annual gala event, will be held Sunday, September 7, 7pm poolside at Aqua at the Providence Marriott on Orms Street. This year’s Pyramid of Pride recipient has been a regular face in our community and a great friend to our organization, providing indispensable service, constant encouragement and a lot of smiles. The members and Board of Directors of Rhode Island Pride are pleased to name Jack Hartwein-Sanchez as our 2014 Pyramid of Pride honoree. We are also excited to name Options Magazine as our 2014 Spirit of Pride honoree. Through its 33 years of publishing, Options Magazine has provided an invaluable service to the community. In more recent history, the folks behind the

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pages have seemingly come out of the white envelope just as the publication has. The “Options crew” is seen everywhere, showing support at community fundraisers, volunteering, and bringing the community together at their monthly Release Party. Their presence and positivity are always a thrill. We are also acknowledging the contributions of three folks who went above and beyond for our organization this past year: the Pride Volunteer of the Year, Festival MVP, and PrideFest Rookie of the Year. We’ll also recognize the 2014 Illuminated Night Parade award winners. And you won’t want to miss the annual PrideFest video retrospective. Tickets to RI Pride Honors are $35/person and $60/couple. Silent auction items and sponsorships are being accepted: - $1000 Presenting Sponsor (includes a premium table with 8 tickets and display space) - $500 Premium Sponsor (includes 4 tickets and display space) - $250 Sponsor (includes 2 tickets) - $100 Sponsoring Couple (2 tickets). We look forward to a joyful celebration with you, as we thank the people who give their all for this proud LGBTQ community at Rhode Island Pride Honors. Rhode Island Pride is a 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to promoting the visibility, equality, and diversity of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community and providing safe space to come out, express, and celebrate their sexual identities and gender. For more information, email info@prideri.com or call 467-2130.

Where do you find your

LGBT Feminism in RI?

Jodi Glass asks Donna Nesselbush J: When did you first identify as a feminist? D: I had great teachers and role models in high school who identified as feminists; they taught me the fundamentals. I drank the Kool-Aid. J: How do you define feminism? D: Feminism is the certain knowledge that women and men (and all people) are created equal and ought to be treated that way. J: Where do you find feminism in RI today? D: I’m part of a feminist group which began at Brown University in 1982. All of us (at that time and still) identify as feminists, committed to the principle of gender equality and equality for all.Though some are scattered throughout the nation, we still meet once or twice each year to discuss our lives, frequently in terms of equality for ourselves and our children. My wife’s fabulous physique reminds me that women can succeed at body building and other traditionally men’s sports. J: How can we, as a community, keep feminism alive and thriving?

Jodi: Please tell us a little bit about who you are. Donna: I’m Donna Nesselbush, wife, daughter, sister, friend, a founding partner of the law firm of Marasco & Nesselbush, Chief Judge of the Pawtucket Municipal Court, and State Senator from District 15, serving Pawtucket and North Providence.

D: We can openly and publicly identify sexism and inequality when we encounter it. We can examine feminist issues as they affect our lives, our community, and our national discourse; and we can discuss that in our social media and over dinner. We can ensure that in our own language and lives we use and practice gender inclusivity; and we can lovingly and respectfully point out to others when they do not.

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AIDS Project RI

Fight HIV/AIDS by

Walking September 27 Samuel Simas

This year marks the 29th annual AIDS Walk in Rhode Island, and AIDS Project Rhode Island (APRI) could not be more excited. “We’re hoping for more walkers than ever,” said APRI executive director Thomas Bertrand. “Form a walk team! You’ll have a great time with friends while raising money and awareness.” The walk will be held Saturday, September 27 starting and ending on the State House lawn. Registration is 9am, and the 2.5-mile walk kicks off at 10am, rain or shine. The event benefits AIDS Service Organizations, primarily APRI, which provides education, prevention and testing programs, and a range of services for people living with HIV/AIDS in the state.

take a pill a day for.” HIV has most certainly not gone away. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention reports that approximately 50,000 incidents of HIV are diagnosed each year in the United States. While increasing focus on testing and prevention has greatly reduced the transmission of HIV/AIDS, Hourahan is concerned with the ways in which the everprevalent stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS discourages people from talking openly about their status. “Knowing your status is the most important thing, and it is surprising how many people don’t know,” Hourahan professed. “The goal is to stop transmission in ten years.”

Registration can also be done on-line through www.aidsprojectri. org or by going directly to http://www.firstgiving.com/aidswalkri. AIDS Walk t-shirts are available to anyone who raises $100 or more, while supplies last. More information is available at www.aidsprojectri.org. In addition to walkers, APRI is looking for corporate sponsors. Any company interested should contact Julie Casimiro at 519-2289 or julie@aidsprojectri.org. The current list of corporate sponsors includes Cardi’s Furniture; United Healthcare; The Miriam Hospital, a Lifespan Partner; NBC 10; and Clear Channel Communities/Coast 93.3. “The walk, over its nearly 30-year history, has become not only a fundraiser but a huge gathering of people across Rhode Island who care about fighting HIV/AIDS,” asserted Bertrand. “It has also become a family event that is educational, fun, and an opportunity to get some exercise while supporting an important cause.” The walk this year has the HIV/AIDS prevention theme “Do It Right,” reflecting the theme of the HIV/STD prevention campaign kicked off in June by The Miriam Hospital in conjunction with APRI, the Rhode Island Department of Health, and The Rhode Island Public Health Institute. To help people “do it right,” APRI will be offering onsite free, anonymous and rapid testing for HIV. Longtime HIV/AIDS activist Stephen Hourahan, Chief Advancement Officer for APRI sees the AIDS Walk as more than just a fundraiser, but as an opportunity for exposure. “Exposure is more than raising dollars,” said Hourahan. “Exposure is about giving young people an opportunity to understand HIV, to see people living with the difficulties and side effects of medicine, and to see that HIV/AIDS has not gone away. Furthermore, HIV is not something that you can just

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SAGE/RI Sally Ann Hay www.surveymonkey.com/s/DBZSRFC. We have some paper copies available for those of you who don’t have access to the internet; leave us a message at 528-3259 and we will mail one to you. Help us get the information health care providers need to help you receive the health care you need. Thinking About the Future

Help May Be At Hand

National studies suggest LGBT older adults tend to expect (i.e. fear) they will not be accepted for who they are, never mind receive the competent and caring attention they deserve, if/ when they can no longer take independent care of themselves. Is this true in Rhode Island? We’re not sure, but we have reason to believe it is. We also have reason to believe things are starting to change. Growing numbers of health care organizations and individual health care providers are seeking training in how to create LGBT-safe environments and how to assure LGBT individuals they will receive the care they want and need. However, when that doesn’t happen, there is a resource you want to know about: Alliance for Better Long Term Care (ABLTC). Over the last year, many of us at SAGE-RI have had the chance to meet ABLTC staff members and volunteers and we’ve come to appreciate that they do want to help members of the LGBT community. So, if you or someone you know is living in a nursing home or assisted living facility, or receives licensed home health or hospice care and you believe she or he is not being treated properly or fairly, give ABLTC a call.They maintain confidentiality and will work with you to help resolve the problem. They can also provide information and refer you to other community resources as needed. You can reach them at 785-3340 or 1-888-351-0808. Time for us to stop assuming there is nothing we can do!

In one form or another, we’ve said it before: SAGE-RI is experiencing some major growing pains. Our network of alliances is expanding, our training and consulting services are in more demand…and more people are listening. Our cadre of dedicated volunteers on the Advisory Committee continue to move the agenda forward and we all agree we will need to do things differently if we are to keep this momentum going. While the future is still uncertain, we can say it is looking more hopeful. We’ve had some promising conversations with people about hiring an executive director and perhaps joining forces with an established human services agency. We know of some larger grants for which we may be eligible, once we have paid staff. We also know there are a number of supporters who would like to be more involved with SAGE-RI. Trust us, one of our priorities over the next few months is to determine how to best bring you on board. Be on the lookout for an announcement about a fall membership meeting. SAGE/RI (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders) addresses issues of concern to LGBT elders and is an organization of diverse people of all ages. For information on programs or to join SAGE/ RI, drop us a line at sageriinfo@gmail.com; leave us a message at (401) 528-3259; write to us at 235 Promenade St., Suite 500, Box 18, Providence, RI 02908; or find us on Facebook as SAGE/Rhode Island.

Gay Men’s Health Survey

If you are a gay man over 55 and you haven’t completed the Gay Men’s Health Survey, it’s not too late. SAGE-RI advisory committee member Bob Desrosiers created and is conducting the survey as a part of his Doctor of Nursing Practice (DNP) program at URI. He tells us he’s gotten a great response so far but would really like to see more responses. The more people who take part in the survey, the better the accuracy. If you want to participate, you can complete the survey online at https://

Options | August 2014

AIDS Care Ocean State Christopher Dalpe

ACOS wants your stuff! Our Donation Center is a free clothing and household item store open to everyone in the community who needs the support. Individuals and families can shop for clothing, furniture, and personal care items at no cost. The Donation Center was established to support the needs of our clients in their everyday lives. The Donation Center is always in need of baby items, toys for any age, personal care items, household items, new or gently used clothing, and new or gently used furniture. If you have stuff that you’d like to see go to a good cause then give us a call. Donations are always welcome and pick-ups can be arranged. Call us at 781-5565 or email Keith at keithd@aidscareos.org. Thank you!

Subscribe and receive every issue of Options Magazine in the mail, for free! www.optionsri.org AIDS Care Ocean State (ACOS) and Eastside Marketplace have teamed up yet again to raise money to support ACOS programs and services. How can you get involved? It’s easy, just shop! Eastside Marketplace is donating to ACOS a portion of the value of receipts ACOS receives. ACOS is encouraging all Eastside Marketplace shoppers to send us your receipts. Whether they are for $1 or for $100, every receipt supports ACOS. Start a collection at your gym or office. It’s that easy. This is a free and fast way to give back to Rhode Island’s largest AIDS service agency. Please mail your receipts to Stephen Hartley at 18 Parkis Ave., Providence, RI 02907. ArtBeat 2014, ACOS’ largest fundraising event of the year, is currently collecting submissions from local artists, businesses and vendors for the 2014 online, live, and silent auctions. We accept all types of art including paintings, photography, ceramics, sculpture, jewelry, and crafts, as well as gift certificates from vendors and businesses. Any donation supports individuals in our community who are struggling with the effects of HIV/AIDS. This year will be the 18th Annual Artbeat Auction (event held Oct. 24) and we want you to be a part of it to help make this the biggest and best Artbeat in history. Please visit www.aidscareos.org/artbeat to learn more, to donate items or become a sponsor of Artbeat 2014. Feel free to contact Stephen Hartley 521-3603 or e-mail inquiries to stephenh@aidscareos.org.

Options | August 2014

Resources

Options originated in 1982 as the offical newsletter of the Rhode Island Gay Task Force. Editor Jos Fayette explained, “The RIGTF wants to make the homosexual community aware of their options as gay men and women in Rhode Island. And it’s only because we live, work, love and play in this state that there are such a large number of options available to all of us.” Options has always, and will continue to print LGBTQ resources so that you can, as Fayette went on to say, “Exercise your OPTIONS today to make positive changes in your life tomorrow.” Help us help you! Email info@optionsri.org if you come across a resource listing that needs updating. Phone numbers are in the 401 area code and addresses are in RI, unless noted.

Addiction Support Groups AA Brothers in Sobriety: Saturday 7:30pm. 372 Wayland Avenue, Providence. 751-9328. Alcohol/Drug Helpline: RI Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependence. 24hr. (866) 252-3784. RI LGBT AA Group: Tuesdays 7-8pm. The Wellness Company,132A George M Cohan Blvd., Providence. All are welcome. 615-9945. info@anchorrecover.org, www.anchorrecovery.org. Set Them Free: Narcotics Anonymous open discussion group. Wednesdays 7:30-9pm. Anchor Recovery Community Center, 249 Main Street, Pawtucket. 721-5100. info@anchorrecovery.org. www.anchorrecovery.org. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: 12-step program. Fridays at 7pm. Providence Presbyterian Church, 500 Hope Street, Providence, side entrance, downstairs to the left. Gay, but all are welcome. AIDS/Health Resources AFIA Center for Health & Wholeness: Meals, food pantry, HIV support groups, recovery groups, recreational and social activities. Sponsored by AIDS Project RI. Free to clients. Wednesday and Thursday 12-3pm. Mathewson Street Church, 134 Mathewson Street, Providence. Contact Gordon Cooper at 331-1350 ext. 3268. info@uwri. org. www.familyserviceri.org. AIDS Action Hotline: MA only. (800) 235-2331 www.aac.org. AIDS Care Ocean State: Confidential HIV & HEP C testing, safer-sex supplies, case management, emergency funds, clinical services, assisted and supportive housing for people living with HIV/AIDS, street outreach, ENCORE, HIV+ support groups.The Speaker’s Bureau, 18 Parkis Avenue, Providence. 521-3603 (call 781-0665 to schedule an appointment). www.aidscareos.org. AIDS Project RI: Division of Family Service of RI. Case management, buddies, COBRA and dental services, emergency fund, mental health counseling, nutrition support,

assessment and referral, wellness programs, advocacy, strength training, prevention education, HIV testing. 9 Pleasant Street, Providence. 831-5522 www.aidsprojectri. org. AIDS Quilt RI: Displays local AIDS memorial quilt panels, panel-making programs including Anna’s Workshop, HIV/AIDS education for young people. PO Box 2591, Newport. 434-4880. admin@aidsquiltri.org.www.aidsquiltri.org. Brown University AIDS Program: Clinical trials, public policy, research, lectures, conferences, patient and community education. 121 South Main Street, Second Floor, Providence. 863-6790. brunap@brown.edu. brown.edu/ Departments/BRUNAP. Community Care Alliance: Case management, support, personal care items for people living with HIV/AIDS in northern Rhode Island. 245 Main Street, Woonsocket. 235-6092. lcohen@famresri.org. Comprehensive Community Action Programs: Medical, mental health, dental, social services, LGBT outreach. 311 Doric Avenue, Cranston. Also Coventry, Pawtucket, and Warwick. 467-9610. Gabriel Care, LLC: Nursing/social worker case management and financial compensation for assistance and supervision for those living with HIV. MassHealth funded for MA residents. 376 South Main Street, Fall River, MA. Contact Jenn. (508) 678-1002. HIV Antibody Testing: Anonymous. Free or sliding scale. RI Department of Health. Providence, Newport and other locations. 222-2320. Home and Hospice Care of RI: Medical care management for HIV/AIDS. 24hr nursing staff for treatment. 1085 North Main Street, Providence. Referrals: 782-0725. Bereavement groups: Contact John Charette. 727-7079. Main Office: 415-4200 or toll-free 800-338-6555.www. hhcri.org. House of Compassion: HIV/AIDS housing. 2510 Mendon Road, Cumberland. 658-3992. Options | August 2014

LGBT Caregiver Online Support Group: For LGBTs caring for someone with chronic health problems. www. caregiver.org Luis E. Martinez House CHS, Inc.: Supportive, permanent housing for 10 adults living with HIV/AIDS and/ or substance abuse. New Bedford, MA. Contact Joe Taylor. (508) 984-7514. Partners in Learning About AIDS: Outreach to minorities, women of color and LGBT community at clubs and other locations. North Providence office provides free condoms and information about STIs and post-exposure prophylaxis for HIV. 1006 Charles Street, Suite 5, North Providence. 484-7523. info@plaidsproject.org. www.plaidsproject.org. Project Weber: Services for male sex workers. Dropin center, support groups, HIV and Hep C testing, clean needles. 383-4888. www.projectweber.org. SSTAR (Stanley Street Treatment & Resources): Counseling, drug treatment, detox, domestic violence programs, free and confidential HIV, HEP C and STD testing, education, case management and support. MA and RI locations. Main location: 386 Stanley Street, Fall River, MA. (508) 679-5222. Project Aware (HIV/HCV). (508) 3243561. Family Healthcare Center (508) 675-1054. www.sstar.org.

Steppingstone, Inc.: Welcome Home Medical case management program. One-on-one peer support in Somerset to Wareham area. HIV support groups available. Free and open to any HIV+ person 18+. 5 Dover Street, New Bedford, MA. (508) 984-7514. www.steppingstoneinc.org. Tranquil Mind & Wellness: Counseling, alternative healing, yoga, Pilates, meditation.109 Rhode Island Road, Lakeville, MA. (508) 947-1683. www.tranquilmind.net. Thundermist Health Center: Provides HIV/AIDS services including medical care and treatment by an HIV specialist, dental care, behavioral health counseling, nutritional assessment and counseling, pharmacy consultation, free and confidential HIV testing. 450 Clinton Street, Woonsocket. Contact Philip Kane. 767-4100 ext. 3516. Information/Education The Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health: Education, pleasure, health, advocacy. Thursday-Saturday 12-6pm and by appointment. 250 Main Street, Unit 1, Pawtucket. 4895513. www.thecsph.org. Fenway Community Center LGBT Helpline: Support, information and referrals. Fenway Community Health Center, Boston. Open daily 6-11pm. (617) 2679001 or 888-340-4528. GLBT National Help Center Hotline: Local resources nationwide provided by social services agency. 888-8434564. www.glbtnationalhelpcenter.org. Newport Out: LGBT website for Newport. www.newportout.com. RILGBT-NEWS: Low-volume email distribution list for LGBT & AIDS news from RI. Not a discussion list. To subscribe:tinawood@cox.net. United Way of RI Referral Line: 2-1-1 Nightlife The Alley Cat Providence: Downtown neighborhood bar. Monday-Thursday 3pm-1am, Friday 3pm-2am, Saturday 2pm-2am, Sunday 2pm-1am. 17 Snow Street, Providence. 272-6369. Bobbyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Place: Dancing, pool, video lounge, karaoke. Sunday-Wednesday 5pm-1am, Thursday-Saturday 5pm2am. 62 Weir Street, Taunton, MA. (508) 824-9997. www.bobbysplacema.com. Brooklyn Coffee Tea House: Special events space, film screenings and other public and private events. Open mic first and third Saturday 8:30-10:30pm. 209 Douglas Ave, Providence. 521-2095. www.brooklyncoffeeteahouse.com

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Club Body Center: Gay men’s sauna. Membership required. One-day pass available. Open 24hr. 257 Weybosset Street, Providence. 274-0298. www.clubbodycenter.com. The Dark Lady: Downtown bar and nightclub. TuesdayThursday 9pm-1am, Friday & Saturday 9pm-3am, Sunday 9pm-1am. 17 Snow Street, Providence. 272-6369. EGO: Providence’s newest gay nightlife performance/ event space. Sunday and Thursday 9pm-1am, Friday and Saturday 10pm-3am, 73 Richmond St, Providence. 3831208. www.egopvd.com. KiKi at Lola’s: 18+ lesbian dance party. Sundays 9pm1am, Lola’s Cantina, 525 South Water Street, Providence. 383-0220. www.facebook.com/kiki.lolas.58. Mirabar: Downtown bar and nightclub. Monday-Thursday 3pm-1am, Friday and Saturday 3pm-2am, Sunday 3pm-1am. 15 Elbow Street, Providence. 331-6761. www.mirabar.com. Providence Eagle: Leather, Levi, bear cruise bar. Monday-Thursday 2pm-1am, Friday 2pm-2am, Saturday-Sunday 12pm-2am. 124 Snow Street, Providence. 421-1447. The Stable: Downtown video bar. No cover. MondayThursday 2pm-1am, Friday 2pm-2am, Saturday 12pm2am, Sunday 12pm-1am. 125 Washington Street, Providence. 272-6950. Political & Legal Groups American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU): 128 Dorrance Street, Suite 220, Providence. 831-7171. riaclu.org. Amnesty International OUTfront: Program to campaign globally for LGBTIQ human rights. (212) 807-8400. Cvohs18904@yahoo.com. www.amnestyusa.org. Brown University Queer Alliance: Student advocacy and support organization. queer@brown.edu. Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD): LGBT/HIV legal info hotline. Weekdays 1:30-4:30pm. 30 Winter Street, Suite 800, Boston, MA. (617) 436-1350 or (800) 455-GLAD. gladlaw@glad.org www.GLAD.org.

Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund: 120 Wall Street, Suite 1500, NY. (212) 809-8585. www.lambdalegal.org. Lawyers for Equality and Diversity (LEAD): Advocates for LGBT causes. lawyersforequality@gmail.com. The Next Thing (TNT): Political and support group for queer people of color located at Brown University. 8633062. tnt@brown.edu. RI Commission on Prejudice and Bias: Hate crime awareness training program. www.hatecrimeri.org. RI Human Rights Commission: Anti-discrimination law enforcement agency with jurisdiction in employment, housing, public accommodations and credit. 180 Westminster Street, 3rd floor, Providence. 222-2662 TTY: 222-2664, richr.ri.gov. Servicemembers Legal Defense Network: Serving LGBT military personnel and veterans. PO Box 65301, Washington DC. (202) 328-3244. or (800) 538-7418. sldn@sldn.org. www.sldn.org. Religious & Spiritual All Saints Memorial Church: 674 Westminster Street, Providence. 751-1747. asmcri@verizon.net. www.allsaintsmemorial.org. Amicable Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming. Pastor William Sterrett. Sunday 10am. 3736 Main Road, Tiverton. 624-4611. amicablechurch@aol.com, www.amicablechurch.org. Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists: robin@awab.org, www.awab.org. Barrington Congregational Church: UCC. “The white church.” Sundays 10am 461 County Road, Barrington. 246-0111. office@bccucc.org, www.bccucc.org. Bell Street Chapel: Unitarian Universalist. A welcoming congregation. Rev. Ann Willever. Sundays 10am. 5 Bell Street, Providence. 273-5678. www.bellstreetchapel.org. Beneficent Congregational Church: UCC. An Open & Affirming congregation in the heart of Providence. Co-Pastors Todd & Nicole Yonkman. Sundays 10am. 300 Weybosset Street, Providence. 331-9844. BeneficentChurchUCC@gmail.com, www.beneficentchurch.org. Berean Baptist Church: A safe and welcoming place for all God’s children. Sunday 10am. 474 Chapel Street, Harrisville. 568-5411.bereanbaptist@verizon.net, www.bereanri.org. Calvary United Methodist Church of Middletown: LGBTQ early dementia support group. Contact Amy. Sundays 10:30am. 200 Turner Road, Middletown. 847-6181, www.middletownmethodist.com. Options | August 2014

Central Congregational Church: UCC. An Opening & Affirming Congregation. Sundays 10:30am. 296 Angell Street, Providence. 331-1960. www.centralchurch.us. Channing Memorial Church: Unitarian Universalist. A Welcoming Congregation. Sundays 10am. 135 Pelham Street, Newport. 846-0643. administrator@channingchurch.org www.channingchurch.org. Charter Oak Grove ADF: An Open and Welcoming Congregation of Neo-pagan Druids in CT. charteroakadf@gmail.com, www.charteroakadf.org. Christ Church in Lonsdale: Episcopal. 1643 Lonsdale Avenue, Lincoln. Services 8am and 10:30am. 725-1920. office@christchurchlincoln.org, www.christchurchlincoln.org. Church of the Epiphany: A diverse Open & Affirming Episcopal congregation. 1336 Pawtucket Avenue, East Providence. 434-5012. info@epiphanyep.org, www.epiphanyep.org. Church of the Holy Paraclete: Independent Old Catholic. Fr. Jakob Lazarus. Sunday 6pm. 155 Douglas Avenue, Providence. 218-0706. www.holyparaclete.org. Edgewood Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming. Service 10am. 1788 Broad Street, Cranston. 461-1344. office@edgewoodchurchri.org. www.edgewoodchurchri.org. Emmanuel Episcopal Church: Sundays 8 and 9:30am. 120 Nate Whipple Highway, Cumberland. 658-1506. office@emmanuelri.org. www.emmanuelri.org. First Congregational Church in Bristol: An Open and Affirming Congregation. Pastor Dan Randall. 281 High Street, Bristol. 253-7288 www.fccbristol.org. First Unitarian Church: A welcoming congregation. Sunday 10:30am. 1 Benevolent Street, Providence. 421-7970. admin@firstunitarianprov.org, www.firstunitarianprov.org. First Unitarian Church: Service 11am. 71 8th Street, New Bedford, MA. (508) 994-9686.

Options | August 2014

admin@uunewbedford.org, www.uunewbedford.org. First Universalist Society: UU. Welcoming congregation. Same-gender weddings. 262 Chestnut Street, Franklin, MA. (508) 528-5348. fusf@verizon.net www.fusf.org. Foxboro Universalist Church: UUA. Service 10am. 6 Bird Street, Foxboro, MA. 508-543-4002. chair@uufoxborough.org, www.uufoxborough.org. Grace Episcopal Church in Providence: 175 Mathewson Street, Providence. 331-3225. hello@gracechurchprovidence.org, www.gracechurchprovidence.org. Immanuel Lutheran Church: A Reconciling in Christ congregation. Pastor Sandra Demmler Dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Amico. 647 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-2898. www.immanuellc.org. Interweave at Channing Memorial UU Church: A membership organization for the spiritual, political and social well-being of LGBTQ persons, and their allies, confronting oppression. 135 Pelham Street, Newport. 846-0643. Mathewson St. Church: United Methodist. 134 Mathewson Street, Providence. 331-8900. MathewsonStUMC@gmail.com. Mercy of God Community: Christian, inclusive religious order. mercycomm@yahoo.com, www.mgc.org. Murray Unitarian Universalist Church: Marriage and commitment ceremonies for all. Rev. Bob McKetchnie. 505 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-0505 www.murrayuuchurch.org. Newman Congregational Church: Open & Affirming. 100 Newman Avenue, Rumford. 434-4742. www.newmanucc.org. Newport Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming. Rev. Hayes and Rev. Baker. 73 Pelham Street, Newport. 849-2238. Park Place Congregational Church: 71 Park Place, Pawtucket. 726-2800. office@ppucc.necoxmail.com, www.parkplaceucc.com. The Pub Church: A church that meets in a pub! Open & Affirming. Location may change. Saturday 5pm. The Dugout, 722 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, MA. thepubchurch@gmail.com. Pilgrim Lutheran Church: An inclusive congregation. Sundays 8 and 9:30am. 1817 Warwick Avenue, Warwick. 739-2937. parishasst@pilgrimlutheranri.org, pilgrimlutheranri.jimdo.com. Pilgrim United Church of Christ: Open and Affirming. 635 Purchase Street, New Bedford, MA. (508)-997-9086.

Riverside Church: UCC.15 Oak Avenue, Riverside. Service 10am. 433-2039. www.rcc-ucc.com. St. Augustine’s Church and Episcopal Center at URI: 15 Lower College Road, Kingston. 783-2153. Sundays 8am and 10am. StAugustinesChurch@necoxmail.com, www.staugustineuri.org. St. James Church: Episcopal. 474 Fruit Hill Avenue, North Providence. 353-2079. St. Martin’s Episcopal Church: Sundays 8 and 10am. 50 Orchard Street, Providence. 751-2141. StMartinsNB. Secretary@gmail.com, www.stmartinsprov.org. St. Martin’s Episcopal Church: Welcoming Church. Monthly LGBT Eucharist. 136 Rivet Street, New Bedford, MA. (508)994-8972. stmartins1887@comcast.com, www.stmartinsma.org. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church: Sundays 9am. 50 Park Place, Pawtucket. 728-4300. office@stpaulspawtucket.org, www.stpaulspawtucket.org. St. Paul’s Church: A welcoming Episcopal church. Sundays 9am. 2679 East Main Street, Portsmouth. 683-1164. stpaulsportsmouthri.org. St. Peter & St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church: 25 Pomona Avenue, Providence. 272-9649. stpanda25@verizon.net, stpeters-standrews.org.

Saint Therese Old Catholic Church: Open & Affirming. Fr. David Martins. Sunday 10:30am. 134 Mathewson Street, Providence. 680-9076. stocc134@gmail.com, www.saintthereseocc.org. Second Congregational Church of Attleboro: UCC. Open & Affirming. 50 Park Street, Attleboro, MA. Sunday 10am. (508) 222-4677. office2nd@verizon.net, www.attleborosecondchurch.org. Seekonk Congregational Church: Rev. Joy Utter. Sundays 9am. 600 Fall River Avenue, Seekonk, MA. (508) 3369355. sccucc@verizon.net, www.scc-ucc.com Soka Gakkai: Buddhist association for peace, culture, and education. Contact for weekly meetings in Providence. 930 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston. (617) 264-2000. www.sgi-usa.org. Temple Agudas Achim: Reconstructionist congregation. 901 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-2243. office@agudasma.org, www.agudasma.org. Temple Beth-El: Rabbi Sarah E. Mack. 70 Orchard Avenue, Providence. 331-6070. info@temple-beth-el.org, www.temple-beth-el.org. Temple Emanu-El: A welcoming conservative congregation. Rabbi Wayne Franklin. 99 Taft Avenue, Providence. 331-1616. info@teprov.org, www.teprov.org. Temple Habonim: A warm, welcoming Reform congregation. Rabbi Andrew Klein. 165 New Meadow Road, Barrington. 245-6536. office@templehabonim.org, www. templehabonim.org. Temple Sinai: A welcoming Reform temple. Rabbi Peter Stein, 30 Hagen Avenue, Cranston. 942-8350. webmaster@templesinairi.org, www.templesinairi.org. Unitarian Church in Fall River: Sunday 10:30am. 309 North Main Street, Fall River, MA. 508-678-9700. office@unitarianchurchfr.org, www.unitarianchurchfr.org. Unitarian Universalist Society of Fairhaven: Service 10:30am. 102 Green Street, Fairhaven, MA. (508) 992-7081.www.uufairhaven.org. Unitarian Universalist Congregation of South County: 27 North Road, Peace Dale. 783-4170 or Val 789-7282. uucscri@yahoo.com. www.uusouthcountyri.org. Westminster Unitarian Universalist Church: A UUA Welcoming Congregation. 119 Kenyon Avenue, East Greenwich. 884-5933. www.westminsteruu.org. Social Organizations Bear Providence: Monthly social events for the bear community. www.bearprovidence.com.

Options | August 2014

Bisexual Resource Center: PO Box 170796, Boston, MA. (617) 424-9595. brc@bicresource.net www.biresource.net. Biversity Boston: Mixed-gender social events for Boston and the surrounding area. (617) 424-9595. biversity-subscribe@biversity.org, www.biversity.org. Boston Bisexual Women’s Network: Social activities including monthly brunches, coming out groups and quarterly newsletter “Bi Woman Quarterly.” www.biwomenboston.org. Bears Ocean State (BOS): Informal e-group for gay & bisexual bear-identified and-affiliated men for friendly companionship. All welcome. groups.yahoo.com/group/bearsoceanstate. Cape and Islands Gay & Straight Youth Alliance (CIGSYA): 56 Barnstable Road, Hyannis, MA. (508) 7787744. info@cisgsya.org, www.cigsya.org. Communisong: For unity through song. Non-performance monthly singing session. www.communisong.net. CORISMA: Potluck get-togethers for couples from RI and southeast MA. corismainfo@comcast.net, www.corismagroup.org. Defenders/Providence: Leather/Levi club. Third Sunday, 6pm. PO Box 41153, Providence. Imperial Court of RI at Providence: Drag and nondrag performers raise funds for local charities. First Monday. All welcome. RI Pride Office,1005 Main Street #1105, Pawtucket. PO Box 6583, Providence. icri.prov@gmail. com. www.icriprov.org. Mixed Borders Gardening Group: Gardening and more. Monthly meetings, all welcome. Mixedborders@cox.net. www.MixedBorders.com. Opera Club: Enjoy hearing and attending. Last Sunday of each month at 1pm. BrettCornellpi4@aol.com. Providence Gay Men’s Chorus: New season rehearsals begin in January and August. Singers and non-singing vol-

Options | August 2014

unteers welcome. Monday 7-9:30pm. Beneficent Church, 300 Weybosset Street, Providence. www.provgmc.org. RI Association of Gay Professionals: Professional networking and philanthropy. riagp.com. RI Parents Pride: Gay parents socializing together with their children. Contact Melanie. 464-2288. saphicangel120@yahoo.com. RI Pride: Open house 4th Wednesdays. Festival & Parade 3rd Saturday in June. Mail: PO Box 1082, Providence. Office: 1005 Main Street #1105 Pawtucket. 467-2130. info@prideri.com, www.prideri.com. RI Prime Timers: Social and networking group for gay and bisexual men 40 and older. Second Sunday. Contact Steve. 996-3010. www.riprimetimers.org. RI Skeptics Society: Yearning to talk with someone rational? Refreshing discussion. Fourth Saturday. East Providence restaurant location. www.meetup.com/skeptics-133/. RI Women’s Association: Lesbian social group. 21+. Dances & events. www.riwa.net. SAGE/RI (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders): Advocacy, education and social events for LGBTQ seniors. 235 Promenade Street, Suite 500, Box 18, Providence. 528-3259. sageriinfo@gmail.com. SEMASSMEN: Social group for GBQ men of southeastern MA & RI to foster strong friendships. Semassmen-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. rlevass@yahoo.com. Yankee Lambda Car Club: Regional club for GLBT people interested in vintage & specialty cars. www.yankeelcc.com Sports PrideSports Boston: Network of twenty-plus gay sports leagues/teams in Boston area. www.pridesportsboston.com. Boston Gay BASKETBALL League: ksg.bgbl@gmail.com, www.bgbl.com. Big Gay Al’s Duckpin BOWLING League: Proceeds benefit AIDS causes. Tuesday 6:30pm. 1463 Atwood Avenue, Town Hall Lanes, Johnston. Contact Frank Ferri. 831-6940. www.bgalbowling.com. www.townhalllanes.com. FLAG (For Lesbians and Gays) FOOTBALL: Bostonbased recreational football club. All skill levels are encouraged to participate. Saturday mornings in the fall and spring. www.flagflagfootball.com. Boston Pride HOCKEY: www.bostonpridehockey.org.

Rondeaus KICKBOXING: 272-5425. www.rondeauskickboxing.com. Main Street MARTIAL ARTS: Non-profit. Welcoming dojo and community center. 1282 North Main Street, Providence. 274-7672.www.mainstma.org. Chiltern Mountain Club: OUTDOOR recreation club in New England. events@chiltern.org. www.chiltern.org. Boston Gay ROWERS: Worldwide online community for gay and lesbian rowers, coxies, coaches, and race officials. www.glrf.org. Boston Ironsides RUGBY Football Club: www.bostonironsides.org. Frontrunners Rhode Island RUNNING Group: Running and walking group. Newcomers welcome. Meet at the end of Blackstone Boulevard at Hope Street, Providence. Thursday 6pm. Contact Brian. 751-7643. bripm@cox.net, frontrunnersri@gmail.com Frontrunners Boston RUNNING Group: Morning walk/run along the Charles River. Saturdays,10am. Club Cafe, 209 Columbus Avenue, Boston, MA. www.frontrunnersboston.org. OutRyders SKIING: New Englandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s largest gay and lesbian ski and snowboard club. www.outryders.org. Boston Strikers SOCCER Club: Non-profit social organization to learn and improve soccer skills in a relaxed, congenial environment. www.bostonstrikers.com. Renaissance City SOFTBALL League: New players and boosters always welcome. www.providencesoftball.org. Beantown SOFTBALL League: Friendly competition. 27 teams in 4 divisions of play: competitive, intermediate, and two recreational. (617) 297-7490. www.beantownsoftball.com. LANES (Liquid Assets New England SWIMMING): Fitness and/or competition. (617) 937-5858. www.swim-lanes.org.

TENNIS-4-All: Boston area tennis organization. www.tennis4all.org. Cambridge Boston VOLLEYBALL Association: Players of all skill levels welcome. secretary@cbvolleyball.net www.GayVolleyball.net. Ocean State Pride VOLLEYBALL League: Adult coed indoor league following USVBA rules. No try-outs. Fee applies. Kent County YMCA, 900 Centerville Road, Warwick. ospvolleyball@gmail.com. East Coast WRESTLING Club: (617)937.5858 x6 ecwc@juno.com. www.eastcoastwrestlingclub.org . Students & Youth Bristol Community College Gay/Straight Alliance (BCC/GSA): Steven Camara, Advisor. BCC-H202, 777 Elsbree Street, Fall River, MA. (774) 357-2391. Brown University Queer Alliance: Umbrella organization at Brown University for LGBTQ groups. 863-3062. queer@brown.edu or lgbtq@brown.edu. CCRI Triangle Alliance: an LGBTQQ student-run group at CCRI, on the Flanagan, Liston, and Knight campuses. www.ccri.edu/triangle/. COLAGE: Support and social activities for children of LGBT parents. Coordinator Veronica Jutras. Third Saturday 10:30am-12pm. Gordon School, E. Providence. rhodeisland@colage.org www.colage.org/colage-chapter/colage-rhode-island-chapter/.

Peer Listening Line: Youth-staffed hotline for GLBT youth. Support, info and referrals. 5-10pm. Fenway Community Health Center, Boston, MA. (617) 267-9001 or (800) 399-PEER. www.fenwayhealth.org. Salve Regina University â&#x20AC;&#x201C; The Alliance: 100 Ochre Point Avenue, Newport. Contact: Mandy Hart. mandy.hart@salve.edu. SeaQuel (Southeast Asian Queers United for Empowerment and Leadership): a program of PRYSM. Monthly Sunday meetings. 383-7450. SeaQuel@prysm.us. www.prysm.us. S.H.E.P.A.R.D. (Stopping Homophobia, Eliminating Prejudices and Restoring Dignity): Providence College, 1 Cunningham Square, Providence. 865-1631. shepard@providence.edu. The Trevor Project: The only nationwide, around-theclock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for LGBT youth. Also offers social networks. (866)4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386). thetrevorproject.org. University of RI Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, Queer & Questioning (LGBTIQ2): Alumni association. 874-5808. gsimonelli@uri.edu. Options | August 2014

URI Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer Center: A cultural department for students, faculty and staff. Florence Badejo. 874-2894. Youth Pride Inc./The Way Out: Support, education & advocacy for LGBTQQ young people ages 13-23. Monday-Thursday 12pm-8pm, Friday 4-8pm, Saturday 10am5pm. The Way Out peer support group Tuesday 5pm. Gender Spectrum support group Tuesday 5:30pm. Ask about 14-and-under day. 743 Westminster Street, Providence. 421-5626. info@youthprideri.org www.youthprideri.org. Support Groups & Social Services Abuse Victims and Survivors: Support on phone for LGBTQ victims & survivors of partner abuse. Confidential peer-led groups. Hotline: (617) 742-4911. TTY: (617) 227-4911. advocate@tnlr.org. Adoption Options: Non-sectarian help. Jewish Family Service, 959 North Main Street, Providence. Contact Betsy Alper. 331-5437. www.adoptionoptions.org. Community Care Alliance: Stipend, assistance, training provided by Family Resources Community Action. 235-6095. www.famresri.org. Foster parents needed: For newborn to age six. 276-4300. www.childrensfriendri.org. Family Service RI: Training, stipend, support provided for nurturing families. Family Service of RI. Contact Gregary Wright. 331-1350 ext. 3305. www.familyserviceri.org. Seven Hills Behavioral Health: HIV Prevention and Screening. 310 South Main Street, Fall River, MA. (508) 235-1012. T.W.I.S.T. (508) 672-0378. Blackstone Valley Advocacy Center: Offering resources for victims of domestic violence. 723-3057. www.bvadvocacycenter.org. Compass: FTM trans info, support and social group. Boston first Thursday 7-9pm. compassftm@gmail.com. www.compassftm.org. Crossroads RI Hotline: (800) 367-2700. Day One (Formerly Sexual Assault and Trauma Resource Center of RI): Counseling & legal aid for victims of sexual assault/abuse & incest. 24hr hotline. (800) 494-8100. 421-4100. www.dayoneri.org. Domestic Violence Resource Center of South County: Support, court advocacy, counseling, safe home, info for women and men in abusive or controlling relationships. 24hr free and confidential helpline. 782-3990 or toll free 800-494-8100, www.dvrcsc.org. Gay Fathers of Greater Boston: Support. 738 Main St. Options | August 2014

#323, Waltham, MA. (781) 333-8429. info@gayfathersboston.org, www.gayfathersboston.org. Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project: Support, info, shelter. 955 Massachusetts Avenue, Private Message Box 131, Cambridge, MA. (800) 832-1901. www.glbtqdvp.org. Gay Officers Action League/New England (GOAL/ NE): Law enforcement officers (sworn & civilian), fire, rescue and publicly employed EMS. Confidential. PO Box 587, Boston, MA 02117. (617) 376-3612. info@goalne.org, www.goalne.org. Gay Share: Coming Out? Gay men’s support group. No fee. Wednesday 7:30pm. Contact Tom or Mike. 369-9448. info@gayshare.org, www.gayshare.org. Helpline for LGBT Youth: Trevor Helpline and social networks for crisis and suicide prevention. 24/7. (866) 4-U-Trevor. HIV+ Gay Men’s Support Group: Refreshments served. AIDS Care Ocean State, 18 Parkis Avenue, Providence. 521-3603. New members contact Scott. 640-3108. Kathys’ Group: Free support group for lesbians with cancer or any life-threatening illness. Partners and caregivers welcome. Meets monthly in Providence. 888-5KATHYS. Mantalk of S.E. Mass: Socializing and discussions for gay, bi and curious men. Confidential. Drug and alcohol-free. 18+. Thursdays in Taunton and first Tuesdays in New Bedford. 7-8:30pm. mantalksouthcoast@yahoo.com. National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Assoc./New England: Works for fair and accurate media coverage of LGBT issues. info@nlgja.org, www.nlgja.org. PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians & Gays): Greater Providence chapter, serves all RI and southeastern MA. First Wednesday 6:45pm. Met School, 325 Public Street, Providence. 751-7571. PFLAGprovidence@gmail.com, www.pflagprovidence.org. RI Coalition Against Domestic Violence: 24hr helpline: (800) 494-8100. 467-9940.

RI Rainbow Support Group: For people with disabilities who identify as LGBTQ. Last Tuesday. 98 Rolfe Street, Cranston. 6-7:30pm. Contact Ken Renaud. 785-2100. Samaritans: 24hr hotline for suicidal, lonely, despairing, depressed. (800) 365-4044. 272-4044 (RI only). www.samaritansri.org. Sexual Health Education & Advocacy Program: HIV, sexual wellness, domestic violence risk reduction. Free, confidential, bilingual (Spanish). No caller ID used. Calls blocked for safety. 861-6191 ext. 121. Sojourner House: Support, shelter, advocacy and information for people in abusive relationships. No caller ID used. Outgoing calls blocked for safety. 24hr helpline 765-3232. 861-6191. www.sojournerri.org Straight Spouses Group: For information on groups and online support. www.straightspouse.org. TGI Network of RI: Support, advocacy for transgender, transsexual, gender-variant, genderqueer and/or intersex people. Borderlands peer group first and third Tuesday 7-9pm. 441-5058. info@tginetwork.org, www.tginetwork.org.

Trans* Partners New England: Gives romantic partners of transgender people a confidential, safe space to explore the impact of a loved one’s gender identity on their relationships, and to connect with other loved ones of transgender people. First Wednesday 6:30-8:30pm. Providence. Location unpublished for privacy. partners@tginetwork.org. Trans* Youth Family Allies: Support for gender-variant and transgender children ages 3-18. info@imatyfa.org, www.imatyfa.org. Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA): Growing organization to address the concerns of fair treatment of transgender veterans and active duty service members. www.tavausa.org. Women’s Resource Center of Newport and Bristol Counties: Offering services to victims of domestic violence. 846-5263.www.wrcnbc.org. Advertise with Options! Every issue of Options Magazine is mailed for free to a dedicated subscriber base. Thousands of additional copies are distributed throughout the state at over 100 distribution locations. For more than 32 years, Rhode Islanders have trusted Options Magazine as their primary source for LGBTQ news, resources and event listings. Readers look to our advertisers before making their purchasing decisions. America’s LGBT 2013 buying power was estimated at $830 billion. Reach a targeted demographic today!

Options | August 2014

Worth a Look The Lit Chick

PBS’s Vicious is a delicious new comedy of manners starring Sir Ian McKellen and Sir Derek Jacobi as Freddy and Stuart, bitter British curmudgeons whose 48-year relationship, though deeply underpinned with love, is strung together by a constant barrage of hateful insults. The cast includes their dear friends; man-hunting cougar Violet, the sweet but daft Penelope, and Ash, the naive, 20-something neighbor who is often the victim of their advice. Rounding out the ensemble is Stuart’s very elderly mother, who occasionally calls to inquire about whether they have met any nice women. This saucy sitcom is more AbFab than Keeping Up Appearances, and it does a nice job of poking at some of PBS’s pride and joys--including Dr. Who and Downton Abbey--reminiscent of the couple poking their 20-year-old dog to make sure he’s still alive. Although McKellan and Jacobi have been wooing British audiences for the past year, their show began running in the United States just this summer. The pair has been making the rounds to discuss the groundbreaking nature of the show, and although that’s true, I prefer to focus on how much Oscar Wilde might have enjoyed it. Watch new episodes of Vicious on PBS at 10:30pm on Saturdays, and catch up on past episodes at PBS. org.

Options | August 2014

It’s not surprising that Sister Speak’s first album, Rise Up For Love, sounds so seasoned. Solidly backed by a legion of fans in their current home city of San Diego, the band was formed in Western Canada by core duo Sherri-Anne (on guitar and vocals) and Lisa Viegas (on drums and cajon). With Tolan Shaw, also on guitar and vocals, and Jacob “Cubby” Miranda on bass, Sister Speak has played to packed houses across North America, and the music that fans loved most has become their debut album. In their songs, I can hear what Sister Speak’s members describe as “rootsy rock.” Their songs range from blues-tinged to rolling and deep, and Sherri-Anne’s voice is strong and clear. There is a patience in the way that “Say You Will” is performed that made me want to close my eyes and relax, until I remembered that it was 3pm and I was at work. Other songs, like “Comin’ Back” and “Chicago Dream” (my favorite) have a rocking, restless sound that is surprisingly pop-like and addictive. Download “Rise Up For Love” on iTunes or visit SisterSpeakMusic.com to listen online. If marriage equality has you worried that lesbian bed death will reach a whole new level, Kim Chernin and Renate Stendhal’s book, Lesbian Marriage: A Sex Survival Kit, may be the antidote. With a diverse mix of lesbian

couples disclosing bedroom angst, the book hands out fistfuls of simple and effective tips learned from experience. Chernin and Stendhal, relationship gurus who have been together 29 years, are not afraid to lay out their own challenges in the bedroom, including role-related boredom, ongoing arguments, full house/intergenerational anxiety, and even cheating; but they also think outside the box when it comes to solutions, including how not having sex may actually be a viable alternative at times.

Chapters are upbeat and positive, come with a can-do approach, and include details of each issue and straightforward advice. The honesty of the couples shines through, and it’s interesting to sort the reality from the myths about what goes on in lesbian bedrooms. Also refreshing to hear: these may not be lesbian-specific issues after all. Lesbian Marriage: A Sex Survival Kit is available at Amazon.com.