Options Magazine-October 2014

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options October 2014

LGBTQ News, Resources & Events

ENDING

DISCRIMINATION IN THE BOY SCOUTS pg. 20

Rhode Island’s LGBTQ Community Magazine Since 1982

FREE

options

In This Issue:

Rhode Island’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer community news source since 1982 October 2014, Vol. XXXIII, Issue 6

Publisher Kyle McKendall kyle@optionsri.org Editor in Chief Jen Stevens editor@optionsri.org Calendar Editor

RI Women’s Flag Football League Begins 17th Season pg. 18

Samuel Simas info@optionsri.org Resource Editor Myra Shays info@optionsri.org Copy Editors Steve Kagan, Brian Kovacs, Elizabeth LaRoque, Joseph Morra, Samuel Simas, Myra Shays Graphic Design

Out on the Town pg. 12

An Interview with Beth Milham pg. 14

4 Letter from the Editor 4 GLBT Helpline 5 Your Letters 6 Letter from the Publisher 6 Our Advertisers 7 Finding your LGBT Feminism 8 Calendar 10 News Briefs 12 Out on the Town 14 On the Shoulders of Giants 18 Women’s Flag Football 20 Scouts for Equality

Scouts for Equality pg. 20

Theresa Barzyk Writers Chanelle Adams, Kurt Bagley, Adam Brooks, Jeremey Christian, Annie Cronin-Silva, Carol Crowther, Christopher Dalpe,

22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 38

Secret Revealed AIDS Care Ocean State Lesbian Health Myths SAGE-RI TGI Network of RI Lesbians On The Loose Youth Pride Inc. AIDS Project RI Rhode Island Pride Classifieds Resources Worth a Look

Jodi Glass, Sally Ann Hay, Kerri Kanelos, The Lit Chick, Joanne MacDonald, Kelly A. Scafariello, Melanie Silva, Jen Stevens, Jaye Watts Photographers Matt Chase, Ryan Clarke, Jack Hartwein-Sanchez Finance Director Donny McKendall billing@optionsri.org Subscription Manager Francis Ryan frank@optionsri.org Distribution Coordinator Sean Drury sean@optionsri.org

Home delivery is free! Sign up online at www.optionsri.org or send your name and mailing address to our PO Box. © OPTIONS 2014. Options is published monthly. The opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the governing board, volunteers, or staff. Listings are provided as a resource and do not imply endorsement. Submissions to Options must include a phone number or email address. Names may be withheld on request. Submissions, ads, calendar, or resource listings for the November issue must be delivered by October 10.

Options | October 2014

Advertising adver tising@optionsri.org

General Information info@optionsri.org PO Box 6406 Providence, RI 02940 (401) 724-LGBT www.optionsri.org Cover Photo by Adam Bouska and the NOH8 Campaign

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From the Editor

Dear Reader, In a time of rapidly changing perceptions of LGBTQs, local organizations emerge and fade before you know it. In this issue, we’re introduced to Scouts for Equality (pg. 20), a group determined to end discrimination within the Boy Scouts, while we say goodbye to the GLBT Helpline (pg. 4), a salvation for many during its near-four decades of service to the community. Learn about the rise and fall of other significant Rhode Island LGBT organizations in this month’s On the Shoulders of Giants interview with long-time rabble-rouser and straight ally Beth Milham (pg. 14). Especially for the ladies, we present three stories to keep you happy, healthy, and wise this fall: Women’s Flag Football will get you outside and on your feet, even if it is just to cheer on these fun-seekers (pg. 18); the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health debunks misconceptions surrounding lesbian health issues (pg. 24); and artist and educator Thea Ernest takes you back to your feminist roots (pg. 7).

Mark your calendar and make a plan to vote on November 4. Our November issue hits the stands October 26, and Options welcomes all candidates to advertise, though readers should remember that doing so does not imply an endorsement. As this issue heads to press, I am impressed by the number of experienced and new volunteers who contributed their pieces to the jigsaw puzzle that is an Options issue. It’s encouraging to receive unsolicited articles, ideas, an increasing number of letters, and many offers to help. Please keep them coming. In Solidarity,

GLBT Helpline

Jen Stevens

Ceases Operation by Joanne MacDonald, Past President, GLBT Helpline

Thirty-eight years ago, members of the Providence Metropolitan Community Church felt there was a need to help the gay community. Thus began the Gay Helpline. Initially it was simply a phone number people could call to talk to a friendly “ear.” Over time, the Helpline began to acquire a few resources and references that they could offer. To encourage more callers, they eventually changed their name to the Gay and Lesbian Helpline. The Helpline’s listings of resources grew, but because there was no widespread knowledge and acceptance of the gay community during the ’70s, ’80s, and ’90s, its client list was well guarded. We believe this promise of confidentiality encouraged others to list with us, eventually leading to a database of several hundred resources, services, and organizations throughout Rhode Island and Southeastern Massachusetts. As time went on, it was decided to once again change the name, this time to the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Helpline of Rhode Island. As volunteers, we were receiving calls not only from this larger community but also from family

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members and spouses seeking answers. We continued to listen carefully when needed and offer information when asked. Around 2005, we began to notice a decline in the number of calls received and began logging the nature of our calls to get a clearer picture of what our callers wanted. With the increased use of the Internet, it was decided that we could better serve the community as a website. All of our listings were notified of this change; none of them felt threatened by having their information public because things had changed so much over the years. In fact, by now, most already had their own websites. With the help of a grant from the Equity Action Fund, our website was designed and our data was transferred. In 2007 we began offering our information online. Our site was initially very well received with numerous hits each day. The downside of this transition was that we no longer needed the number of volunteers we had in the past. Most of those volunteers have moved on to work with other worthwhile organizations. About three years ago, we began noticing

a decline in the Helplineʼs website usage. We believe this is because the Internet is more widely used today; simple word searches result in several responses. We also believe that a more accepting climate (changes in Massachusetts’ marriage law and last year’s marriage equality decisions locally and nationally) allows our community to more freely seek out the services it needs. Taking all of this into consideration, the Helplineʼs Board decided that we would cease operation in the summer of 2014. In accordance with our by-laws and IRS code, our remaining funds were distributed to three likeminded organizations: PFLAG/Greater Providence, SAGE-RI, and The Samaritans. I would like to take this opportunity to thank all the volunteers who have worked so hard over the past 38 years to help the LBGTQQ community. Being associated with the organization for almost 20 years, I know many of them, and know of the time they gave to help others. And I would like to thank personally that nameless volunteer who picked up the phone over 30 years ago and answered all my questions. He was a lifesaver. q

Options | October 2014

Your Letters

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cherish the year spent in could be seen from all directions. My You can be safe and prepared, and still Providence as MERI’s first attacker (or attackers – I can’t be sure) have a fun night out. See you out and communications director (2008- was a woman and potentially another about soon. 2009) and all the friendships I made. In person. I only saw the woman out of William Baker, Providence May 2009, I returned to the rural New the corner of my eye. Right before Hampshire AIDS service organization I was attacked the woman called me his is in response to reader Ron that I’d left, but continued to subscribe a “stupid faggot.” I can’t be sure what Parisi’s dissatisfaction with the to Options. the true motivation was or even that I character depiction of the AIDS Huge applause to Anthony Maselli was targeted because of my perceived activist on the cover of your June issue. and his editorial in the September sexual orientation. I saw no one else, The stance of this figure was meant as issue. I don’t think I’ve ever read a as they had pulled my shirt over my a solemn reminder, as in a moment of more clearly stated rationale for PrEP. head as they attacked me and stole my silence, in remembrance of the vast He addresses every issue associated money. number of people we have lost within with this prevention methodology and I share this experience because if our community to AIDS since the provides the perfect hetero context it can help prevent another potential, outset of the epidemic. While gay pride with the analogy to birth control. I if not more serious, assault, that is celebrations have grown tremendously hope that Anthony has distributed this enough closure for me. While my over the years, one thing has become editorial widely, as the media could use attack was mild, it had the potential to blatantly clear, specifically for those some common sense dialogue around be far worse. I escaped with minor cuts, of us who are older, that with even a PrEP. bruises, a ripped shirt, and torn pants, cursory look at the attendees, there Congratulations to Anthony as Mr. but no worse for wear. has been a clear shift in demographics Gay Rhode Island 2014, and to Options I shouldn’t have to actively fear for with a glaring loss of gay men over 45, for its fabulous facelift! my safety – nor should you – but this without a doubt directly correlated is not my point. Had I waited but five with HIV/AIDS. Susan MacNeil, Keene, NH minutes, my friend would have walked ACT UP wasn’t entirely about Susan McNeil is the Executive Director of with me, or the staff at the Stable loud protests, and kiss-in events. It AIDS Services for the Monadnock Region would have called a cab for me. Then was extremely well organized with this attack might not have occurred. in Keene, NH. many members that were articulate There are many ways a person can gentle souls. It involved some very s Options explores and discusses be safe and still have a fun night out. educated and eloquent speakers who the history of our local gay First, use the buddy system. Never go got people to listen, particularly at bars, I felt it was time to share to or leave a bar alone. Always be sure the top, effectively managing to curb an experience of mine. I am 27 years that you go with a friend or at least have the epidemic. I lost count to my own old and live in Providence. I have been your friend meet you there. Second, extensive list of friends lost. Truthfully, going to our local bars like The Mirabar, do not walk alone. Have a friend I think every Pride celebration Energy, the Dark Lady, and the Stable. accompany you or ask a friend with a should have a moment of silence, in I do not own a car and have relied on car for a ride home. Third, if you are remembrance of all the lives gone too our public transit system, taken cabs, walking or catching a cab downtown, soon. Richard Berglund, Providence or just walked to find my way around be aware of your surroundings and the Providence. I have lived and worked people around you. Last, text or call a in Providence for the better part of a friend to let them know that you made decade, and have never feared for my it home safely. personal safety until just recently. I am not an About a month ago, I was at expert. I hope the Stable having drinks with friends. that sharing my While trying to find a cab (because experience helps, ceremony I was a little intoxicated and did not even if it is to just reception after party want to walk home), I was assaulted. educate and create Any party It happened in front of the 7-Eleven awareness. Muggings in Kennedy Plaza, in clear view of the and assaults can Haven Brothers’ food truck and within happen to anyone, at Jennifer Minuto ten feet of at least five cabs and their any time, with little 401 263 6171 drivers. The sidewalk was well lit and or no warning at all.

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Options | October 2014

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From the Publisher

Advertisers in This Issue

The ubiquitous discussion around job growth and our local economy is heard by all Rhode Islanders during this 2014 election cycle. It’s important for all of us to do our part in supporting local businesses, and so for the past six months we’ve been searching for local printers to produce Options. I am elated to announce that we have hired a Rhode Island printer beginning with this October issue. We’re happy to welcome Sean Dury as he assumes the volunteer role of distribution coordinator. Sean will be working to streamline our distribution process, ensuring Options is accessible to more readers throughout the state. I can’t thank Sean enough for his commitment to our organization. Sean can’t do it alone, so if you can help spread the Options word, or have other help to offer, we’d love to welcome you to the team. We have relocated our office from Broadway in Providence to the Hope Artist Village in Pawtucket, sharing space with Rhode Island Pride. Our move is initiating the creation of a physical space shared by LGBTQ organizations, with the goal of establishing the RI LGBTQ Community Center. We hope to see you there for an open house, editing night, or other social event in the near future.

AIDS Care Ocean State ArtBeat.....................................................19 AIDS Care Ocean State Drag Bingo.............................................. 6 AIDS Care Ocean State Fundraising Cruise........................... 39 AIDS Care Ocean State Know Your Status................................ 9 AIDS Project Rhode Island................................................................ 28 American Wallpaper & Design Center.......................................... 2 Bill Hendrickson, Electrician............................................................... 17 Blue Cross Blue Shield of Rhode Island..................................... 16 Carol Ricker, Attorney............................................................................30 Cianci for Mayor....................................................................................... 40 City Kitty.......................................................................................................... 7 Colosseum..................................................................................................... 9 Cruise Planners........................................................................................ 29 Daigneau Insurance.................................................................................. 8 Family Service of Rhode Island........................................................ 21 Gregory’s Optical.................................................................................... 19 High Rocks Condominiums............................................................... 25 JDHS Photos.............................................................................................. 30 Jennifer Minuto, Attorney.................................................................... 17 Jennifer Minuto, Musician....................................................................... 5 John D. DaPonte, Mental Health Counselor............................ 22 Karen Melo, Financial Planner........................................................... 26 Lisa Eramo, Writer & Editor................................................................. 6 Marjorie L. Roblin, Mental Health Counselor.......................... 22 Plumbing by Paul...................................................................................... 31 Quidnessett Country Club................................................................... 7 Residential Properties........................................................................... 37 Rhode Island Association of Gay Professionals.......................37 Rue De L’Espoir........................................................................................ 27 SERVPRO..................................................................................................... 28 Stephen J. Dennis, Attorney.................................................................33 Town Hall Lanes....................................................................................... 32 The Village at Saw Mill Square......................................................... 23 Yael & Paula, Relationship Coaches............................................... 21 Youth Pride Inc......................................................................................... 17

Onward, Kyle McKendall

Lisa A. Eramo Professional writer & editor Website content, blogs, print articles, bios, resumes, cover letters, editing, marketing, ghostwriting, and more! leramo@hotmail.com www.lisaeramo.wordpress.com 401-780-6789

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Options | October 2014

WHERE DO YOU FIND YOUR

LGBT FEMINISM IN RI?

Jodi Glass asks Thea Ernest

Jodi: Who are you? Thea: Thea Ernest. I am a queer artist and educator. Rhode Island has been my home since 1983. I came here for RISD – Jewelry and Light Metals, Class of ’87 – but already knew that I wanted to make it my home. We had favorite cousins who lived in Providence when I was a kid, and I have just seen the city get better and better over time. I was selfThea Ernest employed as a metalsmith for 20 years, mostly custom work for homes (cabinet hardware and lighting fixtures). A favorite project was reproduction work in the Isaac Bell House in Newport. I’ve spent the last ten years as an educator for Whole Foods Market. My artwork now is drawing and writing – combining the two in graphic stories. I have some tales to tell! J:When did you first identify as a feminist? How do you define feminism? T: When I was in college the first time around, studying sociology in the mid ’70s, I started reading feminist studies and hanging out at the Women’s Center on campus, and I joined a consciousnessraising group. My boyfriend called my new friends “The Meddlers.” He was losing control over my life and, let’s just say, it didn’t go well. So at first, feminism was extremely personal. How do men and women share power, space, opportunity, language, dreams? My world opened up far beyond what I once imagined. I went through a very dogmatic stage – for instance, “Bras are a tool of the Patriarchy!”– and then found my way back to a way that works for me in daily life. My idea of feminism includes opportunities available to all. You don’t have to do them all to prove anything, but they need to be on the table. And feminism also allows the ideas of what it is to be a woman or a man to mingle. We don’t have to fit into an “either/or” model. We live in a broader, inclusive human spectrum.

J: Where do you find feminism in RI today? T: I find a kind of silent feminism everywhere. People don’t even know that they are practicing feminists! And they certainly wouldn’t say they are feminists. But anywhere that people, in their personal lives or organizations, question how people should share tasks and roles and allow for opportunities that may not have happened in the past, they are living feminism. Feminism is one of the movements that made this possible. In my classroom it lives in the way I allow each team member to find out what is important to them, to know about the opportunities available or help them create something new and have a full voice. I correct language that is dismissive or demeaning. I go camping with a longtime circle of women friends and on those trips feminism means matching tasks to ability to make the community work. I like to take that practice back to the everyday world and ask people to question why we do things as we do, and make conscious decisions about roles we play. J: How can we, as a community, keep feminism alive and thriving? T: Work with children and young people in a way that expands their horizons beyond their perceived gender. Be role models of feminism. Pay attention to the law and support change. Use the word feminism out loud, and explain what you mean. Talk about language; words are so powerful. And once in a while, for old times’ sake, burn a bra under a full moon! q

QUIDNESSETT COUNTRY CLUB

Your wedding day overlooking Narragansett Bay

950 North Quidnessett Road, North Kingstown, RI www.quidnessett.com 401-884-1100

Options | October 2014

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Calendar of Events Youth Pride Inc.’s Cabaret! October 17

AIDS Care Ocean State’s ArtBeat October 24

October Thu. 2 Becky Chace Live at The Rathskellar, 8:30pm. 489A Old Coach Road, Charlestown. For info, www.beckychace.com. Sun. 5 AIDS Care Ocean State fundraiser with Joslyn Fox from RuPaul’s Drag Race, 5-10pm. The Colosseum, 180 Pine Street, Providence. Featuring Sabrina Blaze, LaDiva Jonz, Jackie Collins, Mamma Kitty, Mr. Gay RI 2014, Ms. Lesbian RI 2014, and host Miss Kitty Litter with support from the Renaissance City Softball League. $10 general admission/$15 meet-and-greet with Joslyn Fox. For tickets and info, www.aidscareos.org/fox. Sun. 12 RI Prime Timers, 4:30-7pm. Network for gay and bisexual men 50+. Social, dinner, and meeting. For more info, www.riprimetimers.org or call Steve at 996-3010. Wed. 15 Queer Book Club, 7-9:30pm. Books on the Square, 471 Angell Street, Providence. Reading: Lovers at the Chameleon Club by Francine Prose. Discount if book is purchased at Books on the Square. For more info, email queerbookclub@gmail.com. Thu. 16 Drag Bingo, 6-9pm. Theme: Dress in Drag Contest. The Riviera Bingo Palace, 1612 Elmwood Avenue, Cranston. $20 gets you in all games with over $2000 in cash and prizes awarded monthly. Hosted by Kitty Litter and Haley Star. All funds raised benefit AIDS Care Ocean State and AIDS Project RI. Thu. 16 Reception for Solamente Tamara: Colorful Soul, 5-9pm. Part of Gallery Night Providence. URI Providence Campus, 80 Washington Street, Providence. Exhibit includes 125 paintings by local artist Tamara Diaz. On display Oct. 1-31. For more info, www.tamaradiazart.com Fri. 17 Youth Pride Inc.’s Cabaret annual awards gala, 5:3011:30pm. Crowne Plaza, 801 Greenwich Avenue, Warwick. An evening of dinner, music, and entertainment. Jacqueline DiMera hosts. Sun. 19 Rhode Island’s Drag Superstars Live, 8pm. Colosseum, 180 Pine Street, Providence. Featuring Sabrina Blaze and Jackie Collins. Tickets $20 at the door. www.colosseumprov.com. Thu 23 Sex Trivia Night, 8-10pm. The Salon, 57 Eddy Street, Providence. Every fourth Thursday. $10 for teams of up to four. Bring a team or join one ad make new friends.

Thu 23 Join the RI ACLU Annual Meeting: Cocktails & Conversation, 6pm. Honoring ACLU volunteer and LGBT activist, John Blakeslee, as Raymond J. Pettine Civil Libertarian of the Year. Providence Biltmore Hotel, 11 Dorrance Street. $65. For more info, www.riaclu.org/events or Megan at 831-7171. Fri. 24 ArtBeat, a fundraiser for AIDS Care Ocean State featuring an online and live auction, 6:30-9:30pm. Providence Biltmore Hotel, 11 Dorrance St. $45. For more info, www. aidscareos.org. Sat. 25 G.O.A.L New England’s Annual Awards Banquet and fundraiser, 5pm. Club Café, 209 Columbus Avenue, Boston, MA. Honoring those individuals and organizations who serve the LGBT community. Membership, family, and friends come together in solidarity to support LGBT public safety officers. $50. For tickets and more info, www.newenglandgoal.org. Sun. 26 Options Magazine Release Party, 3-6pm. For location and additional info, www.optionsri.org. Wed. 29 RI Pride Annual Meeting, 7-9pm. RI Pride Center, 1005 Main Street #1105, Pawtucket, in the Hope Artiste Village. All are welcome to socialize and discuss what’s happening in the Pride organization and the larger LGBT community. Regular Pride participants are eligible to vote on the board of directors slate. For more info, 467-2130 or info@prideri.com.

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Options | October 2014

4th Annual Sojourner House Masquerade Ball November 7 November Tue. 4 Election Day, polls open 7am-8pm. For more info, and to find your polling location, www.sos.ri.gov/elections. Fri. 7 4th Annual Sojourner House Masquerade Ball fundraiser, featuring the Tropigals and a Frank Sinatra tribute orchestra, 7pm. The Providence Biltmore Hotel, 11 Dorrance Street. $40$75. For more info, www.sojournerri.org. Sat. 15 St. Peter’s & St. Andrew’s Annual Drag Variety Show, 6pm. 25 Pomona Avenue, Providence. Tickets are $15 and must be purchased in advance: 272-9649 or email stpanda25@verizon.net. Sun. 16 RI Prime Timers, 4:30-7pm. Network for gay and bisexual men 50+. Social, dinner, and meeting. For more info, see www.riprimetimers.org or call Steve at 996-3010. Wed. 19 Queer Book Club, 7-9:30pm. Books on the Square, 471 Angell Street, Providence. Reading: Our Lady of the Flowers by Jean Genet. Discount if book is purchased at Books on the Square. For more info, email queerbookclub@gmail.com. Thu. 20 Drag Bingo, 6-9pm. Theme: Pie Eating Contest. The Riviera Bingo Palace, 1612 Elmwood Avenue, Cranston. $20 gets you in all games with over $2000 in cash and prizes awarded monthly. Hosted by Kitty Litter and Haley Star. All funds raised benefit AIDS Care Ocean State and AIDS Project RI.

Drag Bingo November 20

Regularly Scheduled Support Groups: ACOS (youth): Tue. 4pm, (gay males): Wed. 1:30pm Alcoholics Anonymous (LGBT group): Tue. 7pm COLAGE (children of LGBTs): 3rd Sat. 10:30am PFLAG (parents, friends, allies): 1st Wed. 6:45pm TGI Network (trans*):1st & 3rd Tue. & Sat. 7pm TransFamily New England: 2nd Mon. 6:30pm Youth Pride Inc./Way Out: Tue. 5pm See Resources on pg. 31 for info.

Live!

Rhode Island’s Drag Superstars

Thu. 27 Sex Trivia Night, 8-10pm. The Salon, 57 Eddy Street, Providence. Every fourth Thursday. $10 for teams of up to four. Bring a team or join one ad make new friends. Sun. 30 Options Magazine Release Party, 3-6pm. For location and additional info, www.optionsri.org.

Sabrina Blaze

Jackie Collins

Sunday, October 19

Don’t miss live singing performances, drink specials and a very special guest joining the girls on stage! Doors at 7pm. Show at 8pm. Tickets: $20 at the door.

180 Pine Street, Providence www.colosseumprov.com For info call Kristen 401-481-9492

Options | October 2014

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News Briefs by Adam Brooks

Gay Marriage Bans in Idaho, Nevada, and Hawaii Head to Court

The federal appeals court in San Francisco is set to hear arguments on gay marriage bans in Idaho, Nevada, and Hawaii. The appeals court ruled in 2012 to abolish California’s samesex marriage ban, and this year extended LGBT discrimination protections. These new hearings come as same-sex marriage supporters have amassed many wins in federal courts across the country, lifting bans in over a dozen states this year alone. Last month, the appeals court in Chicago rejected bans in Indiana and Wisconsin. Tara Newberry, a plaintiff in the Nevada case, who plans to marry her partner of many years, said, “Until all 50 states get on board, it’s a legal battle from state to state. The map is changing, but until the Supreme Court of the United States makes the determination, it’s state-by-state.”

Louisiana Same-Sex Marriage Ban Upheld by Federal Judge

Breaking the long-running streak of marriage equality victories, U.S. District Judge Martin Feldman upheld Louisiana’s 2004 ban on same-sex marriage last month, making this the only federal court to uphold a gay marriage ban since the Supreme Court repealed the Defense of Marriage Act last year. Judge Feldman writes in his 32-page opinion: “Any right to same-sex marriage is not yet so entrenched as to be fundamental,” and that gay marriage was “inconceivable until very recently…It would no doubt be celebrated to be in the company of the near-unanimity of the many other federal courts that have spoken to this pressing issue, if this court were confident in the belief that those cases provide a correct guide.” He ultimately ruled that Louisiana would neither recognize same-sex marriages from other states, nor allow same-sex couples to acquire marriage licenses.

Affordable Care Act Covers Transgender Surgical Coverage, Has Limitations The U.S. Government now recognizes gender identity dysphoria as a legitimate disorder, allowing transgender surgeries to be covered by the Affordable Care Act, though the coverage has limitations. Dr. Sherman Leis, a world-renowned surgeon and founder of The Philadelphia Center for Transgender Surgery, said, “Although it is a wonderful step forward, that our government has legitimized transgender healthcare, the Affordable Care Act’s coverage, through Medicare, pays only a miniscule amount towards that coverage.” He explained, “Unfortunately, most experienced transgender surgeons cannot even begin to cover basic costs from this reimbursement, let alone earn a reasonable amount for time and experience….I’m afraid we may see unqualified people, who will accept the low reimbursement rate, performing transgender surgeries, and achieving less-than-satisfactory results. These are people who may not be fully trained in transgender surgery itself or in the care and sensitivity to the patient throughout the process. Already, I perform a number of transgender surgery revisions and expect more as a result of these circumstances.”

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Options | October 2014

LGBT Group to March in This Year’s NYC St. Patrick’s Day Parade

NYC’s St. Patrick’s Day parade committee announced that OUT@NBCUniversal, a lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender resource group at NBC (the company that broadcasts the parade) would be the first ever LGBT group marching under its own banner down Manhattan’s Fifth Avenue on March 17, 2015. The world’s largest St. Patrick’s Day Parade had made LGBT participation a political issue, allowing gays to march within other groups as long as they didn’t carry banners identifying themselves as gay. Craig Robinson, the executive vice president and chief diversity officer at NBC Universal, said that parade directors voted unanimously to include the group and members “enthusiastically embrace the gesture of inclusion.” Other gay groups are encouraged to apply to march in future years, according to parade committee officials. “It’s about time,” said Sarah Kate Ellis, the president and CEO of LGBT-rights group GLAAD. “Discrimination has no place on America’s streets, least of all on Fifth Avenue. As an Irish-Catholic American, I look forward to a fully inclusive St. Patrick’s Day Parade that I can share with my wife and children, just as my own parents shared with me.”

British Code-breaker Posthumously Receives Royal Pardon Alan Turing, a British mathematical genius and codebreaker during World War II, was granted a royal pardon from his 1952 conviction on charges of homosexual activity. His punishment was chemical castration. This pardon comes 60 years after Turing’s apparent suicide. He was best known for his development of the Bombe, a code-breaking device able to decipher secret messages from German Enigma machines. He was considered a hero whose work helped change the course of the war. Says British Justice Secretary Chris Grayling, “Dr. Turing deserves to be remembered and recognized for his fantastic contribution to the war effort and his legacy to science. A pardon from the Queen is a fitting tribute to an exceptional man.” Turing’s life is dramatized in a play written by Hugh Whitemore entitled Breaking the Code, which was performed by the Rhode Island College theatre department in the winter of 2012.

Remembering Joan Rivers: A True Gay Icon

On September 4, Joan Rivers passed away at the age of 81 while in a medically induced coma after complications during a procedure on her vocal cords. While mixed feelings abound about the sometimes crass comic, she impacted the LGBT community as a great supporter of marriage equality and anti-discrimination. During her ’90s talk show, The Joan Rivers Show, she hosted a then-taboo segment interviewing New York club kids and LGBT trailblazers including Leigh Bowery, James St. James, Amanda Lepore, and Ernie Glam. In August, Rivers officiated a gay wedding in New York at the Plaza Athenee and joked, “Every wedding I officiate has a cover charge and a twodrink minimum.” In 2013, Joan discussed her recent experience sharing a kiss with a woman: “It was in the moment. I like her very much. It’s like the Katy Perry song, ‘I Kissed a Girl.’ I don’t know if I liked it or I didn’t like it. I woke up this morning with an incredible urge to play golf.”

Options | October 2014

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OUT

12th Annual Lube Wrestling & Rhode Island Pride Honors Photos by Jack Hartwein-Sanchez and Matt Chase

On the Town 12

Options Options || October 2014

OUT on the Town

Options | October 2014

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“On the Shoulders of Giants”

An Interview with Beth Milham

by Jen Stevens

Options: Who or what inspired you to become active in the gay community as a straight ally? Beth: In 1989, I joined the staff of the Newport CODAC’s methadone maintenance program and was designated the “AIDS nurse.” In that capacity, I began networking in the AIDS treatment community and I met the people forming the charter committee for a new RI NAMES Project chapter. Many of them were gay and lesbian, and I was in awe of them and their dedication and commitment to caring for their loved ones and to fighting AIDS, as well as fighting for LGB civil rights. At about that time, my husband, Russ, an academic adviser at Bristol Community College in Fall River, was on a committee that arranged a presentation by a gay activist at the school, and he brought home a button that said, “I’m Straight. But Not Narrow.” That was the real beginning of my involvement, after I stopped laughing. O: I’ve often heard you speak about your uncles as being your best example of a positive relationship. What did you learn from them? B: I really don’t think I was aware of how much I’d learned from Joe and Bob until I was well into adulthood and my straight ally activism. To me, as a teen and young person, they were just always an accepted presence in my life. I was shocked to learn that they had faced homophobia, even in our own family. One great-aunt expressed utter shock when someone mentioned in conversation that Joe was gay. (It really didn’t take much “gaydar” to tell that. Joe was really out there.) But I also learned from them that two halves of a couple could be highly accomplished in very different careers and have divergent interests, as well as shared ones, and still be a devoted couple. It was a great lesson for Russ and me. I’ve often said that the state of marriage on

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both sides of my family was pretty dismal over three generations, but Joe and Bob just went on and on for 46 years. They had the best marriage in the family. Russ and I celebrated our 50th anniversary in September, and without Joe and Bob’s example, we might not have made that milestone.

daunting, I remember that spring, and nothing seems too difficult after that. I served on the steering committee for a couple of years, with Ray Scott and Ken Davis as the major organizers and leaders. When Ray moved out of state, I became chair of the committee and display coordinator, and served in those capacities until 2003, when I took over coordination of Anna’s Workshop, and Russ became chair. By that time, we had separated from The Names Project Foundation and had become an independent nonprofit. O: Would you explain the mission of Anna’s Workshop and what your role is with the project?

O: You’ve displayed AIDS Quilt panels at the RI Pride Festival for as long as I can remember. Would you explain your role with AIDS Quilt RI?

B: The first Anna’s Workshop was conducted with a Central Falls fifth grade summer day camp in 1999. It was named for Ann Antoni, a beloved Quilt volunteer who worked with me on that first workshop. We quickly came to recognize it as an effective way to “put a face on AIDS” for young people, since we were making panels in memory of real RI people whom we’d lost to AIDS. In 2002, we received a three-year Ryan White grant from the RI Department of Health, and we hired one of our steering committee members, Amy Jenkins, to be the coordinator. When Amy moved on, I became coordinator for the duration of the grant, and have kept the job as a volunteer ever since. Since his retirement, Russ, who has been a partner with me in all Quilt activities since 1993, joined me as co-coordinator.

B: In spring 1992, the charter committee of the RI Chapter hosted a major display of the Quilt at Brown. I was invited to “serve on” the volunteer coordinating committee for the display, and when I got to the next planning meeting, I learned that I was the From left: Joseph Paull, Rev. Talitha Arnold, committee. At the Robert Jerkins time, I was writing my thesis for my Masters in nursing, and it turned out to be due the weekend of the display. Somehow I got it all done, and any time a deadline or activity seems too

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O: Do you have a favorite Quilt panel that you’ve either seen or stitched? B: I have a favorite story associated with a Quilt workshop. Many years ago, we were invited to conduct a workshop with all the RI AmeriCorps City Year’s Young Heroes groups—100 fifth graders and their leaders creating 20 panels in one day. It was hair-raising! A few days before the workshop, I received a call from Ira Stoddard, whom I’d never met, but who asked us to make a panel in memory of his lover, who had died just a few months earlier. He’d been planning to hire a professional artist to make the panel before he called us. The night before the workshop, he called to ask if he could come work on the panel with the young people. This idea had never occurred to us, but we welcomed him. As he was telling his group of students about his partner, one of the fifth graders said to him, “This must be really hard for you.” Ira was so touched by the young person’s sensitivity toward him as a gay man who had lost his partner that he told me, “I didn’t care what that panel looked like. I knew I was doing the right thing.” The panel came out quite lovely, and Ira joined our steering committee and served for several years as our fundraising coordinator. O: You closed the books on the Straight But Not Narrow Coalition (SBNNC) earlier this year. What inspired the creation of the organization and who were its earliest leaders? B: As we were preparing for the Brown Quilt display, I became friends with Marj Stenberg, a friend and colleague of Ken Davis’ at the VA Hospital. When I showed her my “Straight but Not Narrow” button, she and I decided we’d order the buttons in bulk and sell them to raise money for our favorite causes. Marj donated her earnings to RI Project: AIDS (now AIDS Project RI) of which she was co-founder. I decided to give mine to the RI Alliance for Lesbian and Gay Civil Rights, and just began sending them $40 to $50 checks every so often. Finally, they called and invited me to a meeting,

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out of curiosity to meet this strange lady whom no one knew, who was sending them money. In 1993, after the civil rights bill once again went down in flames, Marj turned to me at a NAMES RI meeting and said, “We have to do this, don’t we?” I intuited her meaning—that it was time for straight people to get organized and take an active role in this fight. At about that time, Shirley Smith was co-founding a PFLAG chapter in Tiverton, and Jan Wood-Thomas and Yvette Poore, also friends from NAMES RI, were retiring. Both made the fatal error of mentioning to me that they’d been looking for some volunteer opportunities. (People have since learned never to say that to me.) This was a cause they could embrace since they both had LG children. We were all co-founders of SBNNC, and

worked in tandem with the Alliance until the bill passed in 1995. Jan, Shirley, and I were deeply honored to be elected the first “straight” members of the Alliance board. We never had any illusions that we had a big role in passing the bill. The Alliance was already a superbly organized, sophisticated lobbying organization by the time we came along, but we added a voice from the straight world during lobbying sessions and at hearings. Shirley in particular organized the voice of RI clergy in support of the bill, and that probably had the biggest influence of all the straight voices. After the bill passed, SBNNC became dormant until 2004, when we partially reactivated to support Marriage Equality RI. O: Have you ever experienced homophobia or had to defend your sexuality to homophobic people?

B: I lost my closest high school and college friend over my LGBT activism. But my other closest high school friend, a Presbyterian minister’s daughter, praised my work as very important. I was also challenged by someone who thought SBNNC’s name was insulting to the gay community, and who wondered why I found it necessary to emphasize my “straightness.” I’ve always believed that when a marginalized group is under attack, other groups need to be part of the defense team. When Jews are attacked, gentiles must be there for them, and when blacks are attacked, whites must show solidarity with them. I wouldn’t know of any other way to make it immediately apparent that we were straight allies without saying so in our name. Besides, we were given our name by Cecilie Surasky, a brilliant writer and Rhode Island LGBT activist. O: Looking back over decades of gay rights battles in Rhode Island, how did your message to folks differ from that of LGBT activists? B: It’s one thing for LGBT people to say that they’re no different from anyone else, and another for a straight person to say the same thing. We could honestly and sincerely say that. I’ve always been greatly impressed by the huge diversity among my gay friends in their thoughts, beliefs, and interests, and I wanted to pass that appreciation on to other straight people. O: You and your husband Russ were RI Pride’s 2011 Pyramid of Pride recipients. How has Russ supported you through all of your activism?”

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B: As I’ve said, Russ gave me the button that started the whole thing, and he and I have co-written many letters, and shared perspectives on our own writings. He and I testified as a team several times at committee hearings. He’s attended Pride each year as logistics coordinator for our Quilt displays, and he gradually took a more active role in SBNNC. The year the civil rights bill passed, while it was still in the Judiciary Committee, Russ wrote a letter for the members giving all his credentials—retired Naval officer, Eagle Scout and life-long Scouter, holder of an MBA—all of which would lead to the assumption that he was opposing the bill. Then he started the final paragraph, “and I think you should pass this bill.” I convinced him that the most effective letters were written to each legislator personally by hand, so he copied out his full-page letter in longhand 25 times! It was tedious work, but it was gratifying to watch those legislators scan the credential paragraph, and then do a visible double take when they read the punch line. Russ has long been active in leadership

positions in Scouts, and has always been very vocal about his opposition to Scout policy on LGBT issues, especially when they were seeking exemption for youth organizations from the employment provisions of the civil rights bill. He’s never missed an opportunity to challenge other Scouters when they express homophobic sentiments. O: Can you pinpoint moments during your testimony at hearings when you knew your message was changing hearts and minds? B: I’ve never been sure of that. But what we’ve done has made a big difference to our beloved friends, and that’s enough. Equally as gratifying, our three grandchildren, aged 9 to 13, are totally on board, too. We owe most of that to their fully enlightened parents, which is another blessing for us. O: The word “queer” is becoming a more accepted term to describe LGBT folks. How do you feel about its usage? B: That’s one term that I learned early on I as a straight person couldn’t use.

The one time I used it rather innocently, my LGBT friends were visibly shocked and discomfited, and I was terribly embarrassed. As a Jew, I could tell Jewish jokes, but I’d never tell an Italian joke. It’s the same thing. I have no problem with people referring to themselves or other gay people as queer, but I’ll never do so again. O: Beyond your involvement specific to the gay community, you’ve been very active within your Unitarian Universalist congregation. How do your beliefs inspire your activism? B: UU is a non-creedal religion; we do not have any belief tests for membership, but we do have seven principles that most UUs accept and try to incorporate into their codes of ethics. The first is that we “affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person.” Based on that principle, we were one of the first religious denominations to speak out publicly for LGBT civil rights, and later for same-sex marriage, as well as welcoming out-gay clergy. The UUA’s Welcoming

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Congregation program has been fundamental to changing hearts and minds about LGBT acceptance in our congregations. Some UUs come to this acceptance more gradually than others, but the dialogue that has made it real in most of our congregations has been a valuable process. O: Do you have a favorite memory or two from your decades of activism? B: Being honored with the Pyramid of Pride was a real biggie, and I was delighted that Russ and I were selected as a couple. But I think one of my favorite moments was during the civil rights hearings in 1995, the year we won. The opposition was making a big thing about Scouts being “morally straight,” as a reason not to pass the bill. Russ, who is a 60-plus year Scouter, gave then Rep. Tom Coderre the true definition of “morally straight”

from the Scout Handbook, and of course it has nothing to do with not being gay. One of our staunchest and most outspoken opponents, an aging, corpulent fellow, was sitting in front of Tom as he read his speech, including the morally straight reference. As Tom spoke, the guy was turning beet red and huffing and puffing loudly. Smoke was practically coming from his ears. I was glad I was certified in CPR, and was sure we were going to have to “code” him before we adjourned. q On the Shoulders of Giants” is an ongoing series showcasing those who have dedicated decades to furthering LGBTQ equality in RI and have made major contributions to our community’s shared history and victories. This is the seventh interview in the series.

Jennifer A. Minuto LGBT Legal Advocacy.

Youth Pride Inc.’s Annual Event & Fundraiser

Cabaret October 17th 2014 5:30-11:30pm Crowne Plaza in Warwick

Join us for an evening of Dinner, Dancing, Silent Auction Signature Cocktails & The Performances of a Lifetime as we honor award recipients:

Starring, the beautifully talented Jacqueline DiMera

Lauren Nocera, Jesus Holguin and Providence College's Feinstein Institute for Public Service

Tickets on Sale Now: YouthPrideRI.org/Event

Youth Pride Inc.’s Annual Event & Fundraiser

Options | October 2014

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PASS, CATCH, SCORE!

I

t’s Sunday morning and a chill is in the fall air. You dust off your cleats and hop in the car. You sport a jersey with your favorite ironon number and stop by the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru to pick up a hot pumpkin spice latte (the latest rage these days in New England). You head down Interstate 95, taking the Oakland Beach exit in Warwick. This can only mean one thing.…It’s time for another season of the Rhode Island Women’s Flag Football League (RIWFFL). The RIWFFL is where local women come together on the field to meet friends, build camaraderie, and show off their athletic skills. League play began its 17th season on September 28 at the Carrie Peabody Field in Warwick. The season continues every Sunday until November 23, when the last team standing claims the Leslie McManus Trophy as 2014 Super Bowl Champions. Currently, the league consists of four teams – Blue, Gold, Maroon, and Silver – each with 10 to 12 women on its roster. Approximately 55 members are participating this year.

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RI Women’s Flag Football League Begins 17th Season by Kelly A. Scafariello

Christine Elliott, committee member and main contact for the league, said that women who are interested in playing on a team should come out to the field. “Anyone over the age of 18 is welcome to participate and join in on the fun,” says Elliott.” Teams consist of eight players on the field. As in NFL football, ten yards must be gained within four downs to earn a first down. Field goals, extra-point kicks, and punts are allowed. What’s not allowed are helmets, fumbles, pads, or tackling. The RIWFFL was founded in 1997 by a handful of women gathering to play pick-up flag football, just for fun, on Sunday mornings. The original founders were Renee Walker, Georgeanne Lewis, Wendy Morneau, Sue Clegg, Linda Cinco, and Leslie McManus. As the fun grew among friends, so did the sport’s popularity. Soon, there were more friends interested in playing and, according to Elliott, the founding members “grew into an organized, officiated, sponsored, and funded league that hundreds of women have played in” over the past 17 years. The leadership committee has

evolved since 1997, one of the biggest changes coming with the sudden passing of Leslie McManus, for whom the Super Bowl trophy is named. Her spirit, commitment, and behind-thescenes work helped make the league successful. The league has seen an ebb and flow of participants with the passage of time and new waves of women coming on board. Now Elliott and current committee members – Stephanie Grossi, Stephanie Petreccia, Sherri Mooney, Wendy Romblad, and Tricia Donovan – work hard to keep the league alive and thriving by organizing their teams and running operations smoothly. Petreccia said, “The league is a great local grassroots organization that is just an absolute pleasure to be a part of.” She continued, “Every Sunday we can come together as friends and competitors, all while having a great time on the field.” The RIWFFL has adopted the International Women’s Flag Football Association (IWFFA) rules, operating with a mission to “provide an opportunity for all females regardless of race, nationality, age, economic

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status, or sexual orientation to enjoy healthy competition, have fun, develop teamwork skills, learn fair play and good sportsmanship, standardize rules of the game, create new teams, and unify existing teams and leagues to help organize the sport.” The referees, like Jane Aldridge, Mark Walker, and Karen Jasinski-Dutil, keep the game in line with the rules of the IWFFA. Elliott says the referees “have been very important to the success of all the teams.” The RIWFFL aims to field a 12-15 woman travel team, which has competed in tournaments in Key West, Tampa, and Canada. If you are interested in playing for the RIWFFL don’t worry about the weekly commitment. Elliott shared, “We understand people are busy and may have other family or military commitments.” Each individual who participates in the league has to meet only a three-game attendance minimum. Considering all the fun you’ll have and the friends you will make, you probably won’t need to worry about this requirement. To learn more about the league, check out the Rhode Island Women’s Flag Football League Facebook page, contact Christine Elliott via email at cmelliott14@gmail. com, or – even better – pick up that pumpkin spice latte, type the address to Warwick’s Carrie Peabody Field on your GPS, and head down to a game any Sunday at 10am or 11:20am. q

Options | October 2014

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ENDING DISCRIMINATION IN THE

BOY SCOUTS by Carol Crowther

S

couts for Equality is a grassroots organization founded in June of 2012 to end the Boy Scouts of America’s (BSA) ban against gay youth and leaders. In February of 2013 the BSA agreed to consider revoking this regulation for scouts only. In the months leading up to this vote at the national conference in Texas, over two million signatures were collected supporting this change. At the same time, cries that scouting would lose members, troops, and sponsors were repeatedly cited as reasons to keep the status quo. Some boys and troops chose to withdraw during this time. On May 23, 2013, the BSA voted to allow openly gay scouts to join and participate in scouting. Although we were happy to see this progress, we knew there was still work to be done. Openly gay and lesbian leaders are still not allowed to participate in scouting. Boys who advance through the ranks and achieve Eagle are our best leaders. But those boys who are openly

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gay must leave, or in some troops, return to a “don’t ask, don’t tell” status when they turn 18. As a scout mom, I cannot ask any boy to go back into the closet. This goes against all that scouting stands for. I love scouting because it teaches my son, and all boys, to be honest, forthright, helpful, and courteous. The BSA describes itself as “the nation’s largest and most prominent values-based youth development organization.” It was incorporated in 1910, and boasts more than one million volunteers. Scouting allows and encourages each individual to advance through the ranks by earning merit badges in more than one hundred categories. These are as varied as camping, cooking, first aid, swimming, communications, travel, community service, and so many more. Alumni include 181 NASA astronauts (over 50% of astronauts are former scouts), 191 members of Congress, and 18 governors.

Despite all this, I never imagined I’d be

a scout mom. My son started participating in scouting as a Webelo when he was eight or nine years old. He played a few sports, but they didn’t appeal to him the way scouting does. My son is an amazing builder and was hooked after his first Pinewood Derby, where the boys build small, non-motorized wooden cars and race them on standardized tracks. My son’s Yankee Flyer performed beautifully, allowing him to advance to the regionals. He additionally won “car most likely built by a scout.” He built it himself, and I couldn’t have been more proud. How could I not be when his entire troop – boys and adults – were cheering him on and encouraging him to be his best. My experience has been with a very accepting and open troop. Even prior to the national BSA allowing openly gay scouts, I cannot imagine this troop turning any boy away. But today “don’t ask, don’t tell” is no longer an acceptable option. Our boys need and deserve all of the best leaders and role models.

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As a former Boy Scout and current member of the Rhode Island Chapter of Scouts for Equality explains below, growing up in the ’70s and ’80s was hard, and growing up gay was something you never let anyone know about you – especially in the Boy Scouts. “I joined the Boy Scouts when I was 13, and to this day I’m still involved. I can’t say where, or what position I hold, or even use my name because I’m not welcome in the Boy Scouts if I come out. I love Scouting. I love the morals it teaches with the Boy Scout Oath and Law. I value the life lessons I’ve learned and the friendships I’ve made through the years. But there are some people we now call “homophobic.” In 1999, I was 34, and a 16-year-old scout lost his job at Yawgoog Scout Reservation [in Hopkinton] for being gay. The camp was shut down midweek by a walkout of most of the youth staff in support of the [fired] scout. [He] was finally given his job back, but with conditions, including that he never mention that he was fired for being gay and never discuss what occurred with anyone who had not been there. I don’t want any boy to go through what that young scout did, and I don’t want another boy to grow up with the fear I felt. Hearing the message that there was something wrong with me because I am gay made me feel that I needed to remain hidden and silent.” The Rhode Island Chapter of Scouts for Equality was initiated in the spring of this year. We are here because we love scouting and want it to be here for another hundred years – but we need the BSA to open troops to all boys and leaders.

We’re hearing from so many scouts and leaders that openly gay and lesbian leaders should be welcome because they have so much to offer. We need your help in spreading this message and helping the BSA to be on the right side of history. The Rhode Island chapter is very new and still growing. Contact us to become more involved. Email me at ccrowther1@gmail.com, or visit us to tell your story at facebook.com/riscoutsforequality, and remember to “like” us. q

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Options | October 2014

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SECRET REVEALED

by Jeremey Christian

“I wish one of the hot guys at the gym would hit on me, but they never do #JustGiveMeAWink.” “Maybe I should forward the pictures you send me every day to your girlfriend.”

“Who does everyone think the club sluts of Providence are?”

T

hese are only a few (of the cleaner) posts that have appeared on the new app, Secret. This app, which is available on both iPhone and Android, allows users to anonymously post their honest thoughts and feelings without the threat of their identities being revealed. Secret has been named by its users “an app version of the Burn Book,” and has caused the same amount of controversy as the fabled notebook from Mean Girls. However, these posts are nothing like the Burn Book (Amber D’Alessio made out with a hotdog!), but instead attack and criticize individuals. Recently, the number of users on the app have increased substantially due to the amount of gossip and negativity being posted. People are now using Secret to be hurtful and hateful while targeting some people based on their sexual orientation, gender identity, and race. The app has now turned into a newer version of the controversial website JuicyCampus. For those who do not know, JuicyCampus was a website where you could anonymously post statements about your college or university. The website turned rogue when users began posting hateful things about fellow students on campus. The site was eventually shut down in 2009 when much of the content being posted resulted in suicide and legal issues.

How far is too far? Secret is not specifically geared towards the gay community, but most of the posts are gay-related. We are a community battling for equality and rights, yet we constantly put one another down via social networking to try to make ourselves feel better about our own issues and insecurities. While we are united on some opinions, we differ greatly on others, and it is platforms like Secret that expose how divided our community can be. Although Secret may be the new trend in social networking, I do not foresee it lasting longer than a few months. Some have refused to download the app and others have deleted it from their phones due to the outpouring of negativity. Local drag queen Haley Star posted on Facebook to show that she is not concerned with the criticism: “I don’t care about Secret! The haters will be my motivators! #SpreadMoreLove.” Ultimately, the future of Secret is up to its users. Will we continue to spread negativity and hate, or will we realize that the posts are petty and move on to the more important issues on which we as a community should focus? This choice is solely up to us. q

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Options | October 2014

News from AIDS Care Ocean State

by Christopher Dalpe

Hot Shots Softball Team along with the Renaissance City Softball League’s Heart of Providence are working with AIDS Care Ocean State (ACOS) on a charity event featuring Joslyn Fox from RuPaul’s Drag Race along with some of Providence’s greatest belles! The event is Sunday, October 5, at The Colosseum (180 Pine St. Providence) from 5-10pm. General admission is $10 and the meet-and-greet with Joslyn Fox is only $15. Tickets are available at the door and online at aidscareos.org/fox. The evening features Sabrina Blaze, LaDiva Jonz, Jackie Collins, Mamma Kitty, Mr. Gay RI 2014, Ms. Lesbian RI 2014, and is hosted by none other than Miss Kitty Litter. On September 21, Mr. Gay Rhode Island Anthony Maselli and Miss Kitty Litter hosted a premiere fundraising event dubbed The Red Cabaret at The 88 Lounge in downtown Providence. ACOS would like to thank Mr. Gay RI for organizing the event; Phil, the owner of 88 Lounge, who provided the perfect space; the talented Danny Arico for accompanying our guest performers on piano; all of the amazing sponsors and donors who provided raffle prizes; and everyone for putting on a terrific show! ACOS thanks everyone who pledged, donated, walked, and volunteered this year for the 2014 Rhode Island AIDS Walk for Life on September 27. Congratulations to AIDS

Project Rhode Island (APRI) AIDS Care Ocean State for another outstanding and successful community event raising awareness of HIV/ AIDS and combating stigma. ACOS especially thanks APRI for raising funds specifically to support ACOS programs and services. This was a recordbreaking year for ACOS walkers and supporters, and the agency is so grateful for all of the community support.Thirty-six walkers and over 325 donors were able to raise over $16,000 for team ACOS, funds that go directly to client services as well as HIV/AIDS prevention and education. ACOS appreciates all of our wonderful volunteers who attended the walk and helped with setup, breakdown, and with guided walkers. Well done, everyone! q AIDS Care Ocean State provides comprehensive AIDS service, supportive housing, emergency funds, and a Speakers Bureau. Located at 18 Parkis Avenue, Providence. (401) 521-3603. Appointments: (401) 781-0665. www.aidscareoceanstate.org.

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The Truth about Lesbian Health Concerns by Chanelle Adams for the Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health Myths are rampant when you look for information about women’s health, especially about women who sleep with women (WSW). It is especially difficult to find accurate health recommendations for WSW, as there are numerous ways of defining what exactly constitutes “sex” between two women – making it hard to compare data across various scientific studies. Additionally, many of these myths come from deep-seated biases and assumptions about desires and behaviors of WSW. As a result, concrete conclusions about the sexual health of WSW are hard to find. The Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health (CSPH) will attempt here to dispel a range of myths. First, at the CSPH, we recognize that not all women have vulvas, vaginas, or cervixes – and not everyone who has these anatomical parts identifies as a woman. We generally approach these topics by using genital-focused language. The information in this article pertains specifically to vulva and cervix owners. However, since many medical and academic organizations do use the term “women” interchangeably with vulva-owners, we mirror this language in some of the myths we present. We hope those familiar with this problematic matter of conflating gender with genitalia will trust our intent. Myth: WSW cannot contract certain sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Truth: It is true that there are some STIs that women who sleep with only women are less likely to contract, such as gonorrhea, Hepatitis B, HIV/AIDS, and syphilis. However, this does not mean WSW are immune. It is not wise to assume that there is no risk for an STI based on sexual orientation. Remember, STIs can be transmitted in genital-to-genital contact, through bodily fluid, and intravenously. Myth: WSW don’t need to get pap smears. Truth: Every individual with a cervix should get routine pap smears starting at the age of 21, regardless of the gender(s) of their sexual partner(s). The only women who do not need pap smears are women without a cervix or who are over age 65. According to

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a 2008 study by Ruth Hunt and Dr. Julie Fish, 15% of lesbian and bisexual women over the age of 25 have never had a cervical smear test, compared to 7% of women in general. away.

Myth: Douching after sex keeps STIs

Truth: Absolutely no douching! The vagina cleans itself so you don’t have to. In fact, douching is something that we never recommend because it can upset the natural balance of the vagina, potentially causing serious discomfort and an increased risk of contracting a vaginal infection. Myth: Yeast infections are STIs. Truth: Vaginal yeast infections are not considered STIs because researchers are not certain they can be passed from one person to another. Yeast is a naturally occurring organism that can overgrow when there is an imbalance in your system from causes such as antibiotics, eating habits, or stress. Penetrative sex, tightfitting clothing or subpar hygiene practices can also lead to yeast infections. Myth: All sexually active women need to be on birth control for health reasons. Truth: Some studies suggest that because being on hormonal birth control decreases the number of periods a woman may have, it may subsequently decrease risk of ovarian and endometrial cancers. However, going on hormonal birth control as preventive medicine for cancer is less than ideal and may induce other risks. Myth: A toy can be used by one partner, cleaned, and then immediately used by another partner without risk of Human Papillomavirus (HPV) transmission. Truth: A study published in Sexually Transmitted Infections has shown that there are still traces of HPV on cleaned toys after 24 hours. Silicone toys, however, showed a smaller trace of HPV than toys made from other materials. Myth: Lesbians cannot contract HIV. Truth: Instances of female-to-female HIV transmissions are very rare. While lesbians are at a low risk for contracting HIV, they are not risk-free. The virus can be transmitted through

blood (including menstrual blood), breast milk, and vaginal fluids. Higher-risk activities include oral sex, fisting, and sharing sex toys. Because sexual activity does not always translate into an identified sexual orientation, the perception of no risk is itself a threat. None of this information should act as a substitute for seeking medical advice. Documents cited in this article: • Anderson, T. A., Schick, V., Herbenick, D., Dodge, B., & Fortenberry, J. D. (2014) A Study of Human Papillomavirus on Vaginally Inserted Sex Toys, Before and After Cleaning, Among Women Who Have Sex With Women and Men. Sexually Transmitted Infections, 2014. • Chan SK et al. Likely female-to-female sexual transmission of HIV – Texas 2012. MMWR Weekly Report, 63(10): 209-12, 2014. • Collaborative Reanalysis of Data from 45 Epidemiological Studies Including 23,257 Women with Ovarian Cancer and 87,303 Controls. Lancet, Jan 26; 371(9609), 303-14. • Epidemiolo, C. (2008). Ovarian cancer and oral contraceptives: Collaborative reanalysis of data from 45 epidemiological studies including 23,257 women with ovarian cancer and 87,303 controls. The Lancet, 303-314. • Gay Men’s Health Crisis. “HIV Risk for Lesbians, Bisexuals & Other Women Who Have Sex with Women.” • Hunt, R., & Fish, Dr. J. (2008). Prescription for Change: Lesbian and Bisexual Women’s Health Check 2008. Womenshealth.gov. Lesbian and Bisexual Health Fact Sheet. • Marrazzo,J.,Stine,K.,& Koutsky L.(2000). Genital Human Papillomavirus Infection in Women Who Have Sex with Women. American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, 183(3). q The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health is a 501(c)(3) sexuality education and training organization that works to reduce sexual shame, challenge misinformation, and advance the field of sexuality. Visit www.thecsph.org, email info@ thecsph.org, or call (401) 489-5513 to connect with us. CSPH is located in The Grant Building, 250 Main Street, Unit 1, Pawtucket, RI 02860. Hours of Operation Tuesday - Saturday: noon–6pm (and by appointment).

Options | October 2014

News from SAGE-RI by Sally Ann Hay

Statewide Strategic Plan Last winter, the Long Term Care Coordinating Council, under the leadership of Lt. Governor Elizabeth Roberts, created an LGBT Elder Care Subcommittee. Its mandate was to improve the aging experience of RI’s LGBT older adults. This amazing committee (comprised of policy makers, health care professionals, and constituents) has worked hard to identify best practices, gaps in services, areas where training is needed, and the major obstacles encountered by LGBT people who are aging or living with disability. The committee is currently focused on using all this information to develop a statewide strategic plan for improving the quality of life of these LGBT Rhode Islanders. Once the plan is finalized, the committee will work to put it all in motion. We will be keeping our eyes on the November election results; RI’s next Lt. Governor will have an impact on how easily and quickly the work can be done. Get Wired! Recent research suggests that LGBT older adults are at an advantage in at least one area: they are more likely to use the Internet and social media than their heteronormative peers. It makes sense, doesn’t it? For much of our lives, we’ve been on a search for information about who we are and who else is out there who might be like us. With the advent of the Internet, we can get all of that much more easily. In fact, SAGE-RI has come to rely on email and Facebook for the majority of our communications, making us particularly encouraged by this trend in an era of small budgets. (On the other hand, this reliance also makes us concerned about our friends who don’t have access to the Internet.) There are so many sites out there. Here are a few we’d encourage you to explore if you haven’t already: • SAGE-USA’s website (www.sageusa.org) often has something you haven’t seen yet – the latest news, trends, blogs – and a lot of useful information about LGBT older adults. At times, the site does blur the line between SAGE-USA and SAGE-NYC (there is a lot of overlap between the two), but it still has a lot to offer. • Looking for resources? The National Resource Center on LGBT Aging (www.lgbtagingcenter.org) has you covered, from ageism to Social Security. • Over 50 and transgender? After you check in with RI’s TGI Network (www.tginetwork.org), go directly to the Transgender Aging Network site (www.forge-forward.org/aging/). This Wisconsin-based group has a national profile and offers a number of resources including a moderated listserv (email list) that will allow you to chat with other transgender people in your age group. • You may have heard SAGE-RI leaders talking about the unique medical concerns encountered by LGBT elders. Do you have any idea what those issues are? Get thee to www.glma.org (health professionals advocating for LGBT equality); go to the Resources tab; go to “For Patients,” and then to “Top 10 Health Issues,” and you’ll find information important to you, no matter which letter you identify with in the LGBT acronym. • And our favorite local contact (besides SAGE/Rhode Island on Facebook) is the RI LGBT News – what a treasure! This isn’t a website but is a free, confidential email list for news

Options | October 2014

SAGE’s Life at the Tipping Point Brunch and announcements from and about the LGBT and AIDS communities of Rhode Island. The list began in 1996 and has played an important role in keeping members of RI’s LGBT community informed and in touch with one another ever since. It’s easy to sign on. Just email the list owner, Tina Wood (tinawood@cox.net), and she will sign you up and answer your questions. Happy surfing! q SAGE-RI (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders) addresses issues of concern to LGBT elders and is an organization of diverse people of all ages. For information on programs or to join SAGE-RI, drop us a line at sageriinfo@gmail.com; leave us a message at (401) 528-3259; write to us at 235 Promenade St., Suite 500, Box 18, Providence, RI 02908; or find us on Facebook as SAGE/Rhode Island.

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In Response to HRC’s Apology to the

TRANSGENDER COMMUNITY by Jaye Watts for the TGI Network

“I’m sorry for the times when we stood apart when we should have been standing together.” Those are the words of Chad Griffin, president of the Human Rights Campaign, speaking September 5 at the Southern Comfort Conference, one of the largest transgender conferences in the nation. Mr. Griffin’s apology has received mixed reactions within the transgender community. On one hand, an apology with specifics about why what they did was wrong and how they are going to fix it goes a long way. He laid out examples of transgender-specific programs and advocacy efforts that HRC has engaged in over the past couple of years, and an inspiring plan for introducing comprehensive LGBT civil rights legislation in the near future. On the other hand, members of the transgender community are hesitant to applaud an action that seems long overdue. There have been many instances where HRC was willing to block and sacrifice the needs of the transgender community for the sake of the “cause.” Repairing HRC’s

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burned bridges will take time. Over and over again, HRC has told transgender people that their identities were too obscure for mainstream America. This sentiment came to a head in 2007 when openly gay Representative Barney Frank of Massachusetts removed the “gender identity and expression” language from the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) bill, when it was widely known that the legislation had no chance of becoming law with or without the language. It was a divisive move, and every single national LGBT rights organization except one stood up and said they would oppose an ENDA that left out transgender protections. HRC refused to oppose the bill. This happened literally weeks after HRC’s then-president Joe Solmonese stood up at the 2007 Southern Comfort Conference and said: “We try to walk a thin line, in terms of keeping everything in play and making sure that we move forward, but always being clear we absolutely do not support, and in fact, oppose any legislation that is not absolutely inclusive.” There is no other way to spin it: He lied to our faces. So while I applaud Mr. Griffin’s efforts and recognize that he is saying all the right things, repairing this relationship is going to take a while. Hurtful things have been said and backs have been stabbed. Yes, HRC has improved access to transgender-inclusive health care benefits for Fortune 500 companies, and, yes, it has stepped up its transgender advocacy efforts. However, just last year on the steps of the Supreme Court during a marriage equality rally, HRC staffers were seen telling transgender individuals to remove the transgender pride flag from the view of the news cameras. The exchange is also rumored to have included a statement that “marriage equality was not about the trans community.” I would like to consider that incident an isolated hiccup and miscommunication along the path of redemption. I would like to think that this really is the beginning of a new age of transgender inclusiveness for HRC. I would also like to think that things really are going to change. History has proven otherwise, so please understand that some people may feel apprehensive about the apology. It is going to take time, consistency, and persistence for HRC to prove its commitment to the transgender community. q TGI Network of Rhode Island is the only statewide organization providing support, advocacy and education for the transgender, gendervariant, and intersex community. Incorporated in 2011, its mission is to be a resource for TGI people navigating their lives and the medical and legal systems; to serve as a resource for professionals working with TGI people; and to serve as a liaison between the TGI and LGB communities and the community at large. Visit us at www.tginetwork.org.

Options | October 2014

Lesbians on the Loose by Annie Cronin-Silva & Melanie Silva

From left: Jealousy Jonz, BB Hayes, Melanie Silva, John Kelley, Annie Cronin-Silva, Derek Capobianco, Rodney Davis

I

s summer really over? Where did it go? Can we get it back? We are already missing dining al fresco and sweet summer sangria on Sundays at The Stable. The summer was jam-packed with lots of fun, gay outdoor activities, including our annual pilgrimage to P-town during Girl Splash in late July – but this time we had our 16-year-old niece Taylor in tow. She had never been to P-town before and was excited to take in all the sights. Spending the afternoon on the beach was a perfect way to soak up the sun. After the beach we did the traditional stroll down Commercial Street to check out the shops. The vibrant colors, the quaint village feel, and especially the people, appealed to Taylor. When we asked her what she thought about P-town she said, “I love it here. It’s a non-judgmental zone and it’s so cool to see happy couples walking hand in hand without any worries.” Out of the mouths of babes, folks! The times, they are a-changin’. We went to the Mirabar in July to watch the sketch comedy play Gay Camp, which came from Provincetown to Providence for one night only. We had no idea what to expect, but we were soon laughing hysterically at the several characters who were sent to a “gay reform camp” in order to be “fixed.” The show was filled with quick wit and even quicker costume changes as the three main characters morphed into several other characters, all while keeping the audience entertained and laughing at the many innuendos. Thanks to the Mirabar for organizing this unique and fun-filled event. A September 5 soft opening of Deville’s at Olive’s (108 N. Main Street, Providence) was promoted via word of mouth and the word sure got out. We were thrilled to stop by to show our support and were delighted to see so many familiar faces – Deville’s regulars and ladies from “the olden days.” Upon our arrival we were greeted by Deb Thibault and Lara Sebastian, longtime community volunteers, who are heading up the kitchen at Olive’s. The atmosphere is somewhat reminiscent of the vibe in the original Deville’s – relaxed and comfortable, with warm rich wood tones. A lengthy bar, comfortable seating areas with tables and leather couches, and of course a good-sized dance floor and DJ booth make Options | October 2014

this a great atmosphere for socializing. Later that weekend we celebrated poolside for Rhode Island Pride Honors at Aqua at the Marriott Downtown. It was a remarkable night that showcased the hard work, dedication, and involvement of many Pride supporters in the community. On this night, Options volunteers gathered as The Spirit of Pride Award was presented to Options Magazine for being especially active and supportive within the community this past year. It was a great honor for all members of the team. Another notable and well deserving honoree was Jack Hartwein-Sanchez, who earned the Pyramid of Pride award. Jack is a stalwart of the community. He is at every event capturing memories through the lens of his camera. Awards were also presented to outstanding Pride volunteers and parade contingents. The lovely Jacqueline DiMera and the witty Kitty Litter hosted. Energized performances by Derek Capobianco and Miss Gay RI Nadia Starr highlighted the evening before the poignant PrideFest video retrospective was screened for the first time. We are ready to take on the fall and are looking ahead to important celebrations such as Youth Pride’s Annual Gala on October 17 and ACOS’ ArtBeat on October 24. Don’t take these worthy groups for granted. Mark your calendars and purchase your tickets to support the organizations that sustain this community. q

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News from Youth Pride Inc. by Kerri Kanelos Annual Fundraiser October 17 This is your last chance to purchase tickets for our annual gala fundraiser on Friday, October 17, at the Crowne Plaza in Warwick. This year’s theme is Cabaret and will include some exciting live performances. A cocktail reception and silent auction will be held from 5:30-7pm. Dinner, awards, and dancing will follow until 11pm. This year, we will be celebrating the following Youth Pride Inc. honorees: TT

Honorary Chair: Jacqueline DiMera

TT

Founders Award: Dr. Lauren Nocera Lipsky/Whittaker Award: Providence College’s Feinstein Institute for Public Service

TT

Luis Pagan Award: Jesus Holguin

TT

For more information about the event, or to purchase tickets, please visit our event website at youthprideri.org/event. We’re Hiring After five years as our Gay/Straight Alliance and Programming Coordinator, Elana Rosenberg has accepted a position at United Way of Rhode Island as their new Senior Project Manager of Expanded Learning. During her time at YPI, Elana provided technical assistance to all the GSAs in Rhode Island, revamped

our OUTspoken leadership development training program, improved our monthly calendar of events, and positively impacted the lives of the youth we serve. We wish her all the best in her future endeavors. This means that we are now hiring. Have you always wanted to work for YPI? Do you have a friend/colleague who would be a great fit for our team? Please visit our website for information about our current open positions. q Youth Pride Inc. provides support, education and advocacy for LGBTQQ young people ages 13-23. Our Drop-in Center is at 473 Westminster Street, Providence, RI 02903. Visit www.youthprideri.org, email info@youthprideri.org, or call (401) 421-5626 for more info.

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Options | October 2014

You Tell Me I’m a Twink

by Samuel Simas for AIDS Project RI I was tapping my foot on the tile floor in line for the bathroom at a club, arms crossed, wondering why there was a line for the men’s room. He had been standing a little too close behind me – close enough that I could smell the booze on his breath and feel it blowing on my shoulder. His black hat tilted down just far enough so that his eyes were hidden beneath it. Music pounded loudly in the next room, and I didn’t understand him when he said, “Twink.” At first, I wasn’t exactly sure what he had said — the way his lips shaped the word felt heavy, almost accusatory. “What?” I asked. “You’re a little twink,” he said. He wobbled to the right and pushed himself up on the wall. I didn’t bother having him explain what it meant. Instead, I asked a friend when I came back from the bathroom. “What’s a twink?” He laughed and said, “Well, you.” That was a few years ago when I was still relatively unaware of how social stereotypes among gay men were as mean, reductive, and ultimately false as those of high-school cliques. Words I thought I knew like bear, otter, and jock have evolved within my vocabulary to take on new meanings. I glued mental images of the people to the labels they matched. I understood that there was a classification system, but I was still unaware of how it worked. “Look over there,” my friends would say, “those are twinks. See, they’re all skinny and young. Most of them don’t have facial hair, or any hair for that matter. They can have some serious attitude, too. Look at the short one; he’s the ringleader. Those other guys are bears.You can tell because they’re hairy and usually pretty chubby. Some of them are into leather and piercings, so you gotta be careful.” “Careful – of what?” I’d say back. My friends would just laugh. That was how my rudimentary education of gay stereotypes began. I was told there were more desirable categories than others; the twinks loved being twinks — walking around as if they were untouchable because of their youth. The jocks stayed together like a sports team, downing beers and pumping iron at the gym. Mixing between groups didn’t seem like much of an option. Sometimes you might see a daddy – a mature older guy – with a twink, but that’s about it. Instead, I heard whispers in the bars of people being too twinky, too masculine, too something. Everyone was either too much of one thing or not enough of the other. It didn’t take me long to realize that people’s sexual preferences were often assumed by the label under which they fell. Twinks were assumed to be bottoms; jocks were the tops. I mean, it’s true sometimes, but it isn’t always the case. When a muscle man who looked as if he was participating in the Mr. Universe competition told me that he was a power bottom, I’ll admit that my mouth dropped in surprise. I had him pegged for a hardcore jock, in every sense of the word. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Nothing,” I said. “I’m just surprised.” “Yeah,” he replied. “I get that a lot.” At that moment, I had realized, to my shame, that I had unknowingly internalized some of the misconceptions of gay

Options | October 2014

male culture. I had reduced this guy, whom I hadn’t even gotten to know yet, to a superficial label. I was no better than the guy in the black hat telling me I was a twink. While I can’t say that I fully understand the system of classification now, I have learned that these words are potent in the way they can change how one person views another in an instant. They affect how a person sees himself as a part of a larger culture that exhibits many stereotypes. And these stereotypes can be potentially damaging because they encourage a person to define himself and others with a single word. One is able to create and find community by identifying himself, but it’s important to ensure that these stereotypes don’t become restrictive. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if you’re a bottoming bear or a twink who tops. However, it does matter that you’re practicing safe sex, no matter who you’re having sex with. If you’re sexually active, then you should be tested every three months for HIV. Why three months? Well, it takes the virus about that long to be able to be picked up in one of the rapid tests used by most testing agencies. Knowing your status will keep you and others safe. So, suit up and come to AIDS Project Rhode Island for free HIV or HEP-C testing. q AIDS Project RI is a division of Family Service of RI, providing case management, various health-related services, advocacy, prevention education, and HIV and Hep-C testing. APRI’s location is 9 Pleasant Street, Providence. Call (401) 831-5522 or visit www.aisdprojectri.org for more info.

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News from Rhode Island Pride by Kurt Bagley Rhode Island Pride was pleased to honor our 2014 Pyramid of Pride recipient, Jack Hartwein-Sanchez, and our 2014 Spirit of Pride recipient, Options Magazine, at Rhode Island Pride Honors on September 7. The event, hosted poolside by Aqua at the Providence Marriott Downtown, was attended by a diverse crowd that represented all of the letters in LGBTQQA, making it a true night of celebration for our community. Special mention should be given to Linda LaFontaine, our 2014 Volunteer of the Year; Sergio Orlando, our 2014 Rookie Volunteer; and Bea Lopez, our 2014 PrideFest MVP. Congratulations to all the award winners, and thank you to our many sponsors who made the evening possible. Thank you especially to Jacqueline DiMera and her co-host Kitty Litter for keeping the evening’s program flowing; to Brian Mills for putting together yet another spectacular PrideFest video retrospective; and to Patrick Adam and his crew from High Output for their hard work on the stage and video setup. We are excited to begin October by formally welcoming the RI LGBTQ Center and Options Magazine to share our space at the Hope Artiste Village. This collaborative effort represents a broader use of the Pride office as we work

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together towards establishing a new, larger Center where many more organizations and individuals can enjoy a welcoming community space. Organizations looking for a meeting space in the meantime may contact info@prideri.com to inquire about availability. Rhode Island Pride’s Annual Meeting will be held October 29. Our board of directors accepted nominations for the board election in September and will advertise an election slate in mid-October via our e-newsletter and through social media. At the Annual Meeting, members who are present will have the opportunity to vote “yea” or “nay” to individuals on the slate.You are considered a voting member if you are a frequent attendee to Pride’s General Meeting/Open House, an active participant with various Pride committees, or have volunteered for Pride events on a regular basis over the past year. Make sure you stay informed by liking us on Facebook, or subscribe to our e-newsletter via the submission field on the right side of our homepage at www.prideri.com.q Rhode Island Pride is a 501(c)(3) organization dedicated to promoting the visibility, equality, and diversity of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community; and providing safe space for people to come out, express themselves, and celebrate their sexual identities and genders. For more information, visit www.prideri.com, email info@prideri.com, or call (401) 467-2130.

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Options | October 2014

Classifieds

ROOM WANTED: single GWM, 63, non-smoker, with income, would like to rent spare room (in house or apartment) with similar person(s) in the Providence area for perhaps a year or two. Clean, orderly, very quiet, bookish sort, likes cats; no vehicle, so nearness to bus line; grocery store; library; and/or V.A. hospital definite plus(es). To start 11/1 or 11/2. Call George at (207) 891-9763, or e-mail altmann63@hotmail.com for more information.

FLORIDA RENTAL: Fort Lauderdale, 4 blocks from the beach, walk to Sebastian. 2 BR, 1 Bath, available for fall holidays Nov. - Dec. $1000/week. Call (401) 935-8186. Classified listings are $30 per issue, for up to 400 characters/70 words. Email info@optionsri.org for placement.

Resources

Options originated in 1982 as the offical newsletter of the Rhode Island Gay Task Force. Editor Jos Fayette explained, “The RIGTF wants to make the homosexual community aware of their options as gay men and women in Rhode Island. And it’s only because we live, work, love and play in this state that there are such a large number of options available to all of us.” Options has always, and will continue to print LGBTQ resources so that you can, as Fayette went on to say, “Exercise your OPTIONS today to make positive changes in your life tomorrow.” Help us help you! Email info@optionsri.org if you come across a resource listing that needs updating. Phone numbers are in the 401 area code and addresses are in RI, unless otherwise indicated.

Addiction Support Groups AA Brothers in Sobriety: Saturday 7:30pm. 372 Wayland Avenue, Providence. 751-9328. Alcohol/Drug Helpline: RI Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependence. 24hr. (866) 252-3784. RI LGBT AA Group: Tuesdays 7-8pm.The Wellness Company,132A George M Cohan Blvd.,Providence.All are welcome. Set Them Free: Narcotics Anonymous open discussion group. Wednesdays 7:30-9pm. Anchor Recovery Community Center, 249 Main Street, Pawtucket. 721-5100. info@anchorrecovery.org. www.anchorrecovery.org. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: 12-step program. Fridays at 7pm. Providence Presbyterian Church, 500 Hope Street, Providence, side entrance, downstairs to the left. Gay, but all are welcome.

AIDS/Health Resources AFIA Center for Health & Wholeness: Meals, food pantry, HIV support groups, recovery groups, recreational and social activities. Sponsored by AIDS Project RI. Free to clients. Wednesday andThursday 12-3pm. Mathewson Street Church, 134 Mathewson Street, Providence. Contact Gordon Cooper, 331-1350 ext. 3268. info@uwri.org. www.familyserviceri.org. AIDS Action Hotline: MA only. (800) 235-2331. www.aac.org.

Options | October 2014

AIDS Care Ocean State: Confidential HIV & HEP C testing, safer-sex supplies, case management, emergency funds, clinical services, assisted and supportive housing for people living with HIV/AIDS, street outreach, ENCORE, HIV+ support groups. Speaker’s Bureau, 18 Parkis Ave., Providence. 521-3603 (call 781-0665 to schedule an appointment). www.aidscareos.org. AIDS Project RI: Division of Family Service of RI. Case management, buddies, COBRA and dental services, emergency fund, mental health counseling, nutrition support, assessment and referral, wellness programs, advocacy, strength training, prevention education, HIV testing. 9 Pleasant Street, Providence. 831-5522 www.aidsprojectri.org. AIDS Quilt RI: Displays local AIDS memorial quilt panels, panel-making programs including Anna’s Workshop, HIV/AIDS education for young people. PO Box 2591, Newport. 4344880. admin@aidsquiltri.org.www.aidsquiltri.org. Brown University AIDS Program: Clinical trials, public policy, research, lectures, conferences, patient and community education. 121 South Main Street, Second Floor, Providence. 863-6790. brunap@brown.edu. brown.edu/Departments/ BRUNAP. Community Care Alliance: Case management, support, personal care items for people living with HIV/AIDS in northern Rhode Island. 245 Main Street, Woonsocket. 235-6092. lcohen@famresri.org. Comprehensive Community Action Programs: Medical, mental health, dental, social services, LGBT outreach. 311 Doric Avenue, Cranston. Also Coventry, Pawtucket, and Warwick. 467-9610. Gabriel Care, LLC: Nursing/social worker case management and financial compensation for assistance and supervision for those living with HIV. MassHealth funded for MA residents. 376 South Main Street, Fall River, MA. Contact Jenn, (508) 678-1002. HIV Antibody Testing: Anonymous. Free or sliding scale. RI Department of Health. Providence, Newport and other locations. 222-2320. Home and Hospice Care of RI: Medical care management for HIV/AIDS. 24hr nursing staff for treatment. 1085 North Main Street, Providence. Referrals: 782-0725. Bereavement groups: Contact John Charette, 727-7079. Main Office: 4154200 or toll-free 800-338-6555.www.hhcri.org.

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House of Compassion: HIV/AIDS housing. 2510 Mendon Road, Cumberland. 658-3992. LGBT Caregiver Online Support Group: For LGBTs caring for someone with chronic health problems. www.caregiver.org Luis E. Martinez House CHS, Inc.: Supportive, permanent housing for 10 adults living with HIV/AIDS and/or substance abuse. New Bedford, MA. Contact Joe Taylor. (508) 984-7514. Partners in Learning About AIDS: Outreach to minorities, women of color, and LGBT community at clubs and other locations. North Providence office provides free condoms and information about STIs and post-exposure prophylaxis for HIV. 1006 Charles Street, Suite 5, North Providence. 484-7523. info@plaidsproject.org. www.plaidsproject.org. Project Weber: Services for male sex workers. Drop-in center, support groups, HIV and Hep C testing, clean needles. 383-4888. www.projectweber.org. SSTAR (Stanley Street Treatment & Resources): Counseling, drug treatment, detox, domestic violence programs, free and confidential HIV, HEP C and STD testing, education, case management and support. MA and RI locations. Main location: 386 Stanley Street, Fall River, MA. (508) 679-5222. Project Aware (HIV/HCV). (508) 324-3561. Family Healthcare Center (508) 675-1054. www.sstar.org. Steppingstone, Inc.: Welcome Home Medical case management program. One-on-one peer support in Somerset to Wareham area. HIV support groups available. Free and open to any HIV+ person 18+. 5 Dover Street, New Bedford, MA. (508) 9847514. www.steppingstoneinc.org. Tranquil Mind & Wellness: Counseling, alternative healing, yoga, Pilates, meditation.109 Rhode Island Road, Lakeville, MA. (508) 947-1683. www.tranquilmind.net. Thundermist Health Center: Provides HIV/AIDS services including medical care and treatment by an HIV specialist, dental care, behavioral health counseling, nutritional assessment and counseling, pharmacy consultation, free and confidential HIV testing. 450 Clinton Street, Woonsocket. Contact Philip Kane. 767-4100 ext. 3516. Information/Education The Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health: Education, pleasure, health, advocacy. Thursday-Saturday 12-6pm and by appointment. 250 Main Street, Unit 1, Pawtucket. 4895513. www.thecsph.org. Fenway Community Center LGBT Helpline: Support, information and referrals. Fenway Community

TOWN HALL LANES 1463 Atwood Avenue, Johnston 831-6940

www.bgalbowling.com www.townhalllanes.com Home of Big Gay Al’s Bowling League!

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Health Center, Boston. Open daily 6-11pm. (617) 2679001 or 888-340-4528. GLBT National Help Center Hotline: Local resources nationwide provided by social services agency. 888-8434564. www.glbtnationalhelpcenter.org. Newport Out: LGBT website for Newport. www.newportout.com. RILGBT-News: Low-volume email distribution list for LGBT & AIDS news from RI. Not a discussion list. To subscribe:tinawood@cox.net. United Way of RI Referral Line: 2-1-1 Nightlife The Alley Cat Providence: Downtown neighborhood bar. Monday-Thursday 3pm-1am, Friday 3pm-2am, Saturday 2pm-2am, Sunday 2pm-1am. 19 Snow Street, Providence. 272-6369. Bobby’s Place: Dancing, pool, video lounge, karaoke. Sunday-Wednesday 5pm-1am, Thursday-Saturday 5pm2am. 62 Weir Street, Taunton, MA. (508) 824-9997. www.bobbysplacema.com. Brooklyn Coffee Tea House: Special events space, film screenings and other public and private events. Open mic first and third Saturday 8:30-10:30pm. 209 Douglas Ave, Providence. 521-2095. www.brooklyncoffeeteahouse.com Club Body Center: Gay men’s sauna. Membership required. One-day pass available. Open 24hr. 257 Weybosset Street, Providence. 274-0298. www.clubbodycenter.com. The Dark Lady: Downtown bar and nightclub. Tuesday-Thursday 9pm-1am, Friday & Saturday 9pm-3am, Sunday 9pm-1am. 17 Snow Street, Providence. 272-6369. DeVille’s at Olive’s: Wed-Fri 5pm-close. $5 cover. Kiten open until 10:30pm. 108 N. Main Street, Providece. 751-1200. www.facebook.com/deville1989. EGO: Providence’s newest gay nightlife performance/ event space. Sunday and Thursday 9pm-1am, Friday and Saturday 10pm-3am, 73 Richmond St, Providence. 383-1208. www.egopvd.com. KiKi at Lola’s: 18+ lesbian dance party. Sundays 9pm-1am, Lola’s Cantina, 525 South Water Street, Providence. 3830220. www.facebook.com/kiki.lolas.58. Mirabar: Downtown bar and nightclub. Monday-Thursday 3pm-1am, Friday and Saturday 3pm-2am, Sunday 3pm-1am. 15 Elbow Street, Providence. 331-6761. www.mirabar.com. Providence Eagle: Leather, Levi, bear cruise bar. Monday-Thursday 2pm-1am, Friday 2pm-2am, Saturday-Sunday 12pm-2am. 124 Snow Street, Providence. 421-1447. The Stable: Downtown video bar. No cover. Monday-Thursday 2pm-1am, Friday 2pm-2am, Saturday 12pm-2am, Sunday 12pm-1am. 125 Washington Street, Providence. 272-6950. Political & Legal Groups American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU): 128 Dorrance Street, Suite 220, Providence. 831-7171. riaclu.org. Amnesty International OUTfront: Program to campaign globally for LGBTQ human rights. (212) 807-8400. Cvohs18904@yahoo.com. www.amnestyusa.org. Brown University Queer Alliance: Student advocacy and support organization. queer@brown.edu. Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD): LGBT/ HIV legal info hotline. Weekdays 1:30-4:30pm. 30 Winter Options | October 2014

Street, Suite 800, Boston, MA. (617) 436-1350 or (800) 455GLAD. gladlaw@glad.org www.GLAD.org. Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund: 120 Wall Street, Suite 1500, NY. (212) 809-8585. www.lambdalegal.org. Lawyers for Equality and Diversity (LEAD): Advocates for LGBT causes. lawyersforequality@gmail.com. The Next Thing (TNT): Political and support group for queer people of color located at Brown University. 8633062. tnt@brown.edu. RI Commission on Prejudice and Bias: Hate crime awareness training program. www.hatecrimeri.org. RI Socialist Action: 952-5385, adgagneri@gmail.com. Spanish: 351-3514, walsil@cox.net. RI Human Rights Commission: Anti-discrimination law enforcement agency with jurisdiction in employment, housing, public accommodations, and credit. 180 Westminster Street, 3rd floor, Providence. 222-2662 TTY: 222-2664, richr.ri.gov. Scouts for Equality: An organization composed largely of Boy Scouts of America alumni dedicated to ending the BSA’s ban on gay members and leaders. Contact Carol Crowther. ccrowther1@gmail.com. Facebook.com/riscoutsforequality. Servicemembers Legal Defense Network: Serving LGBT military personnel and veterans. PO Box 65301, Washington DC. (202) 328-3244. or (800) 538-7418. sldn@ sldn.org. www.sldn.org. Religious & Spiritual All Saints Memorial Church: 674 Westminster Street, Providence. 751-1747. asmcri@verizon.net. www.allsaintsmemorial.org. Amicable Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming. Pastor William Sterrett. Sunday 10am. 3736 Main Road,Tiverton. 624-4611. amicablechurch@aol.com, www.amicablechurch.org. Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists: robin@awab.org, www.awab.org. Barrington Congregational Church: UCC. “The white church.” Sundays 10am. 461 County Road, Barrington. 2460111. office@bccucc.org, www.bccucc.org. Bell Street Chapel: Unitarian Universalist. A Welcoming Congregation. Rev. Ann Willever. Sundays 10am. 5 Bell Street, Providence. 273-5678. www.bellstreetchapel.org. Beneficent Congregational Church: UCC. An Open & Affirming congregation in the heart of Providence. Co-PasOptions | October 2014

tors Todd & Nicole Yonkman. Sundays 10am. 300 Weybosset Street, Providence. 331-9844. BeneficentChurchUCC@ gmail.com, www.beneficentchurch.org. Berean Baptist Church: A safe and welcoming place for all God’s children. Sunday 10am. 474 Chapel Street, Harrisville. 568-5411.bereanbaptist@verizon.net. www.bereanri.org. Calvary United Methodist Church of Middletown: LGBTQ early dementia support group. Contact Amy. Sundays 10:30am. 200 Turner Road, Middletown. 847-6181, www.middletownmethodist.com. Central Congregational Church: UCC. An Opening & Affirming Congregation. Sundays 10:30am. 296 Angell Street, Providence. 331-1960. www.centralchurch.us. Channing Memorial Church: Unitarian Universalist. A Welcoming Congregation. Sundays 10am. 135 Pelham Street, Newport. 846-0643. administrator@channingchurch.org. www.channingchurch.org. Charter Oak Grove ADF: An Open and Welcoming Congregation of Neo-pagan Druids in CT. charteroakadf@gmail.com, www.charteroakadf.org. Christ Church in Lonsdale: Episcopal. 1643 Lonsdale Avenue, Lincoln. Services 8am and 10:30am. 725-1920. office@christchurchlincoln.org. www.christchurchlincoln.org. Church of the Epiphany: A diverse Open & Affirming Episcopal congregation. 1336 Pawtucket Avenue, East Providence. 434-5012. info@epiphanyep.org, www.epiphanyep.org. Church of the Holy Paraclete: Independent Old Catholic. Fr. Jakob Lazarus. Sunday 6pm. 155 Douglas Avenue, Providence. 218-0706. www.holyparaclete.org. Edgewood Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming. Service 10am. 1788 Broad Street, Cranston. 461-1344. office@edgewoodchurchri.org. www.edgewoodchurchri.org. Emmanuel Episcopal Church: Sundays 8 and 9:30am. 120 Nate Whipple Highway, Cumberland. 658-1506. office@emmanuelri.org. www.emmanuelri.org. First Congregational Church in Bristol: An Open and Affirming Congregation. Pastor Dan Randall. 281 High Street, Bristol. 253-7288. www.fccbristol.org. First Unitarian Church: A welcoming congregation. Sunday 10:30am. 1 Benevolent Street, Providence. 421-7970. admin@firstunitarianprov.org, www.firstunitarianprov.org. First Unitarian Church: Service 11am. 71 8th Street, New Bedford, MA. (508) 994-9686. admin@uunewbedford.org, www.uunewbedford.org. First Universalist Society: UU. Welcoming congregation. Same-gender weddings. 262 Chestnut Street, Franklin, MA. (508) 528-5348. fusf@verizon.net www.fusf.org. Foxboro Universalist Church: UUA. Service 10am. 6 Bird Street, Foxboro, MA. 508-543-4002. chair@uufoxborough.org. www.uufoxborough.org. Grace Episcopal Church in Providence: 175 Mathewson Street, Providence. 331-3225. hello@gracechurchprovidence.org. www.gracechurchprovidence.org. Immanuel Lutheran Church: A Reconciling in Christ congregation. Pastor Sandra Demmler D’Amico. 647 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-2898. www.immanuellc.org.

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Interweave at Channing Memorial UU Church: A membership organization for the spiritual, political and social well-being of LGBTQ persons, and their allies, confronting oppression. 135 Pelham Street, Newport. 846-0643. Mathewson St. Church: United Methodist. 134 Mathewson Street, Providence. 331-8900. MathewsonStUMC@gmail.com. Mercy of God Community: Christian, inclusive religious order. mercycomm@yahoo.com, www.mgc.org. Murray Unitarian Universalist Church: Marriage and commitment ceremonies for all. Rev. Bob McKetchnie. 505 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-0505 www.murrayuuchurch.org. Newman Congregational Church: Open & Affirming. 100 Newman Avenue, Rumford. 434-4742. www.newmanucc.org. Newport Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming. Rev. Hayes and Rev. Baker. 73 Pelham Street, Newport. 849-2238. Park Place Congregational Church: 71 Park Place, Pawtucket. 726-2800. office@ppucc.necoxmail.com, www.parkplaceucc.com. The Pub Church: An Open & Affirming church that meets in a pub. Location may change. Saturday 5pm. The Dugout, 722 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, MA. thepubchurch@gmail.com. Pilgrim Lutheran Church: An inclusive congregation. Sundays 8 and 9:30am. 1817 Warwick Avenue, Warwick. 739-2937. parishasst@pilgrimlutheranri.org, pilgrimlutheranri.jimdo.com. Pilgrim United Church of Christ: Open and Affirming. 635 Purchase Street, New Bedford, MA. (508)-997-9086. Riverside Church: UCC.15 Oak Avenue, Riverside. Service 10am. 433-2039. www.rcc-ucc.com. St. Augustine’s Church and Episcopal Center at URI: 15 Lower College Road, Kingston. 783-2153. Sundays 8am and 10am. StAugustinesChurch@necoxmail.com, www.staugustineuri.org. St. James Church: Episcopal. 474 Fruit Hill Avenue, North Providence. 353-2079. St. Martin’s Episcopal Church: Sundays 8 and 10am. 50 Orchard Street, Providence. 751-2141. StMartinsNB. Secretary@gmail.com, www.stmartinsprov.org. St. Martin’s Episcopal Church: Welcoming Church. Monthly LGBT Eucharist. 136 Rivet Street, New Bedford, MA. (508)994-8972. stmartins1887@comcast.com, www.stmartinsma.org. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church: Sundays 9am. 50 Park Place, Pawtucket. 728-4300. office@stpaulspawtucket.org, www.stpaulspawtucket.org. St. Paul’s Church: A welcoming Episcopal church. Sundays 9am. 2679 East Main Street, Portsmouth. 683-1164. stpaulsportsmouthri.org. St. Peter & St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church: 25 Pomona Avenue, Providence. 272-9649.stpanda25@verizon.net. www.stpeters-standrews.org. Saint Therese Old Catholic Church: Open & Affirming. Fr. David Martins. Sunday 10:30am. 134 Mathewson Street, Providence. 680-9076. stocc134@gmail.com, www.saintthereseocc.org.

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Second Congregational Church of Attleboro: UCC. Open & Affirming. 50 Park Street, Attleboro, MA. Sunday 10am. (508) 222-4677. office2nd@verizon.net, www.attleborosecondchurch.org. Seekonk Congregational Church: Rev. Joy Utter. Sundays 9am. 600 Fall River Avenue, Seekonk, MA. (508) 3369355. sccucc@verizon.net, www.scc-ucc.com Soka Gakkai: Buddhist association for peace, culture, and education. Contact for weekly meetings in Providence. 930 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston. (617) 264-2000. www.sgi-usa.org. Temple Agudas Achim: Reconstructionist congregation. 901 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-2243. office@agudasma.org, www.agudasma.org. Temple Beth-El: Rabbi Sarah E. Mack. 70 Orchard Avenue, Providence. 331-6070. info@temple-beth-el.org, www.temple-beth-el.org. Temple Emanu-El: A welcoming Conservative congregation. Rabbi Wayne Franklin. 99 Taft Avenue, Providence. 331-1616. info@teprov.org, www.teprov.org. Temple Habonim: A warm, Welcoming Reform congregation. Rabbi Andrew Klein. 165 New Meadow Road, Barrington. 245-6536. office@templehabonim.org, www. templehabonim.org. Temple Sinai: A Welcoming Reform temple. Rabbi Peter Stein, 30 Hagen Avenue, Cranston. 942-8350. webmaster@templesinairi.org, www.templesinairi.org. Unitarian Church in Fall River: Sunday 10:30am. 309 North Main Street, Fall River, MA. 508-678-9700. office@unitarianchurchfr.org, www.unitarianchurchfr.org. Unitarian Universalist Society of Fairhaven: Service 10:30am. 102 Green Street, Fairhaven, MA. (508) 992-7081.www.uufairhaven.org. Unitarian Universalist Congregation of South County: 27 North Road, Peace Dale. 783-4170 or Val 789-7282. uucscri@yahoo.com. www.uusouthcountyri.org. Westminster Unitarian Universalist Church: A UUA Welcoming Congregation. 119 Kenyon Avenue, East Greenwich. 884-5933. www.westminsteruu.org. Social Organizations Bear Providence: Monthly social events for the bear community. www.bearprovidence.com. Bisexual Resource Center: PO Box 170796, Boston, MA. (617) 424-9595. brc@bicresource.net www.biresource.net. Biversity Boston: Mixed-gender social events for Boston and the surrounding area. (617) 424-9595. biversity-subscribe@biversity.org, www.biversity.org. Boston Bisexual Women’s Network: Social activities including monthly brunches, coming out groups and quarterly newsletter “Bi Woman Quarterly.” www.biwomenboston.org. Bears Ocean State (BOS): Informal e-group for gay & bisexual bear-identified and affiliated men for friendly companionship. All welcome. groups.yahoo.com/group/bearsoceanstate. Cape and Islands Gay & Straight Youth Alliance (CIGSYA): 56 Barnstable Road, Hyannis, MA. (508) 7787744. info@cisgsya.org, www.cigsya.org. Options | October 2014

Communisong: For unity through song. Non-performance monthly singing session. www.communisong.net. CORISMA: Potluck get-togethers for couples from RI and southeast MA. corismainfo@comcast.net, www.corismagroup.org. Defenders/Providence: Leather/Levi club. Third Sunday, 6pm. PO Box 41153, Providence. Imperial Court of RI at Providence: Drag and nondrag performers raise funds for local charities. First Monday. All welcome. RI Pride Office,1005 Main Street #1105, Pawtucket. PO Box 6583, Providence. icri.prov@gmail. com. www.icriprov.org. Mixed Borders Gardening Group: Gardening and more. Monthly meetings, all welcome. Mixedborders@cox.net. www.MixedBorders.com. Opera Club: Enjoy hearing and attending. Last Sunday of each month at 1pm. BrettCornellpi4@aol.com. Providence Gay Men’s Chorus: New season rehearsals begin in January and August. Singers and non-singing volunteers welcome. Monday 7-9:30pm. Beneficent Church, 300 Weybosset Street, Providence. www.provgmc.org. RI Association of Gay Professionals: Professional networking and philanthropy. riagp.com. RI Parents Pride: Gay parents socializing together with their children. Contact Melanie. 464-2288. saphicangel120@yahoo.com. RI Pride: Open house 4th Wednesdays. Festival & Parade 3rd Saturday in June. Office: 1005 Main Street #1105 Pawtucket. Mail: PO Box 1082, Providence, 02903. 467-2130. info@prideri.com, www.prideri.com. RI Prime Timers: Social and networking group for gay and bisexual men 40 and older. Second Sunday. Contact Steve, 996-3010. www.riprimetimers.org. RI Skeptics Society: Yearning to talk with someone rational? Refreshing discussion. Fourth Saturday. East Providence restaurant location. www.meetup.com/skeptics-133/. RI Women’s Association: Lesbian social group. 21+. Dances & events. www.riwa.net. SAGE/RI (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders): Advocacy, education and social events for LGBTQ seniors. 235 Promenade Street, Suite 500, Box 18, Providence. 528-3259. sageriinfo@gmail.com. SEMASSMEN: Social group for GBQ men of southeastern MA & RI to foster strong friendships. Semassmen-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. rlevass@yahoo.com. Yankee Lambda Car Club: Regional club for GLBT vintage & specialty car enthusiasts. www.yankeelcc.com. Sports & Recreation PrideSports Boston: Network of twenty-plus gay sports leagues/teams in Boston area. www.pridesportsboston.com. Boston Gay BASKETBALL League: ksg.bgbl@gmail.com, www.bgbl.com. Big Gay Al’s Duckpin BOWLING League: Proceeds benefit AIDS causes. Tuesday 6:30pm. 1463 Atwood Avenue, Town Hall Lanes, Johnston. Contact Frank Ferri. 831-6940.www.bgalbowling.com. www.townhalllanes.com. Options | October 2014

GALA BOWLING: East Providence Lanes, 80 Newport Avenue. Sunday, 5:50pm. Raises funds for gay-related causes. Facebook.com/galabowlingclub. FLAG (For Lesbians And Gays) FOOTBALL: Boston-based recreational football club. All skill levels are encouraged to participate. Saturday mornings in the fall and spring. www.flagflagfootball.com. Boston Pride HOCKEY: www.bostonpridehockey.org. Rondeaus KICKBOXING: 272-5425. www.rondeauskickboxing.com. Main Street MARTIAL ARTS: Non-profit. Welcoming dojo and community center. 1282 North Main Street, Providence. 274-7672.www.mainstma.org. Chiltern Mountain Club: OUTDOOR recreation club in New England. events@chiltern.org. www.chiltern.org. Boston Gay ROWERS: Worldwide online community for gay and lesbian rowers, coxies, coaches, and race officials. www.glrf.org. Boston Ironsides RUGBY Football Club: www.bostonironsides.org. Frontrunners Rhode Island RUNNING Group: Running and walking group. Newcomers welcome. Meet at the end of Blackstone Boulevard at Hope Street, Providence. Thursday 6pm. Contact Brian. 751-7643. bripm@cox.net, frontrunnersri@gmail.com Frontrunners Boston RUNNING Group: Morning walk/ run along the Charles River. Saturdays,10am. Club Cafe, 209 Columbus Avenue, Boston, MA. www.frontrunnersboston.org. OutRyders SKIING: New England’s largest gay and lesbian ski and snowboard club. www.outryders.org. Boston Strikers SOCCER Club: Non-profit social organization to learn and improve soccer skills in a relaxed, congenial environment. www.bostonstrikers.com. Renaissance City SOFTBALL League: New players and boosters always welcome. www.providencesoftball.org. Beantown SOFTBALL League: Friendly competition. 27 teams in four divisions of play: competitive, intermediate, and recreational. (617) 297-7490. www.beantownsoftball.com. LANES (Liquid Assets New England SWIMMING): Fitness and/or competition. (617) 937-5858. www.swim-lanes.org. TENNIS-4-All: Boston area tennis organization. www.tennis4all.org. Cambridge Boston VOLLEYBALL Association: Players of all skill levels welcome. secretary@cbvolleyball.net www.gayvolleyball.net. Ocean State Pride VOLLEYBALL League: Adult co-ed indoor league following USVBA rules. No try-outs. Fee applies. Kent County YMCA, 900 Centerville Road, Warwick. ospvolleyball@gmail.com. East Coast WRESTLING Club: (617)937.5858 x6 ecwc@juno.com. www.eastcoastwrestlingclub.org . Students & Youth Bristol Community College Gay/Straight Alliance (BCC/GSA): Steven Camara, Advisor. BCC-H202, 777 Elsbree Street, Fall River, MA. (774) 357-2391.

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Brown University Queer Alliance: Umbrella organization at Brown University for LGBTQ groups. 863-3062. queer@ brown.edu or lgbtq@brown.edu. CCRI Triangle Alliance: an LGBTQQ student-run group at CCRI, on the Flanagan, Liston, and Knight campuses. www. ccri.edu/triangle/. COLAGE: Support and social activities for children of LGBT parents. Coordinator Veronica Jutras. Third Saturday 10:30am-12pm. Gordon School, E. Providence. rhodeisland@colage.org www.colage.org/colage-chapter/colage-rhode-island-chapter/.

Peer Listening Line: Youth-staffed hotline for GLBT youth. Support, info and referrals. 5-10pm. Fenway Community Health Center, Boston, MA. (617) 267-9001 or (800) 399PEER. www.fenwayhealth.org. Salve Regina University – The Alliance: 100 Ochre Point Avenue, Newport. Contact: Mandy Hart. mandy.hart@salve.edu. SeaQuel (Southeast Asian Queers United for Empowerment and Leadership): a program of PRYSM. Monthly Sunday meetings. 383-7450. SeaQuel@prysm.us. www. prysm.us. S.H.E.P.A.R.D. (Stopping Homophobia, Eliminating Prejudices and Restoring Dignity): Providence College, 1 Cunningham Square, Providence. 865-1631. shepard@providence.edu. The Trevor Project: The only nationwide, around-theclock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for LGBT youth. Also offers social networks. (866)4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386). thetrevorproject.org. University of RI Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, Queer & Questioning (LGBTIQ2): Alumni association. 874-5808. gsimonelli@uri.edu. URI Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer Center: A cultural department for students, faculty and staff. Florence Badejo. 874-2894. Youth Pride Inc./The Way Out: Support, education & advocacy for LGBTQQ young people ages 13-23. Monday-Thursday 12pm-8pm, Friday 4-8pm, Saturday 10am5pm. The Way Out peer support group Tuesday 5pm. Gender Spectrum support group Tuesday 5:30pm. Ask about 14-and-under day. 743 Westminster Street, Providence. 421-5626. info@youthprideri.org www.youthprideri.org. Support Groups & Social Services Abuse Victims and Survivors: Support on phone for LGBTQ victims & survivors of partner abuse. Confidential peer-led groups. Hotline: (617) 742-4911. TTY: (617) 227-4911. advocate@tnlr.org. Adoption Options: Non-sectarian help. Jewish Family Service, 959 North Main Street, Providence. Contact Betsy Alper. 331-5437. www.adoptionoptions.org. Community Care Alliance: Stipend, assistance, training provided by Family Resources Community Action. 235-6095. www.famresri.org. Foster parents needed: For newborn to age six. 276-4300. www.childrensfriendri.org. Family Service RI: Training, stipend, support provided for nurturing families. Family Service of RI. Contact Gregary Wright. 331-1350 ext. 3305. www.familyserviceri.org.

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Seven Hills Behavioral Health: HIV Prevention and Screening. 310 South Main Street, Fall River, MA. (508) 235-1012. T.W.I.S.T. (508) 672-0378. Blackstone Valley Advocacy Center: Offering resources for victims of domestic violence. 723-3057. www.bvadvocacycenter.org. Compass: FTM trans info, support and social group. Boston first Thursday 7-9pm. compassftm@gmail.com. www.compassftm.org. Crossroads RI Hotline: (800) 367-2700. Day One (Formerly Sexual Assault and Trauma Resource Center of RI): Counseling & legal aid for victims of sexual assault/abuse & incest. 24hr hotline. (800) 4948100. 421-4100. www.dayoneri.org. Domestic Violence Resource Center of South County: Support, court advocacy, counseling, safe home, info for women and men in abusive or controlling relationships. 24hr free and confidential helpline. 782-3990 or toll free 800-494-8100, www.dvrcsc.org. Gay Fathers of Greater Boston: Support. 738 Main St. #323, Waltham, MA. (781) 333-8429. info@gayfathersboston.org, www.gayfathersboston.org. Gay Officers Action League (GOAL)/New England: Law enforcement officers (sworn & civilian), fire, rescue and publicly employed EMS. Confidential. PO Box 587, Boston, MA 02117. (617) 376-3612. info@goalne.org, www.goalne.org. Gay Share: Coming Out? Gay men’s support group. No fee. Wednesday 7:30pm. Contact Tom or Mike. 369-9448. info@gayshare.org, www.gayshare.org. GLBTQ Domestic Violence Project: Support, info, shelter. 955 Massachusetts Avenue, Private Message Box 131, Cambridge, MA. (800) 832-1901. www.glbtqdvp.org. Helpline for LGBT Youth: Trevor Helpline and social networks for crisis and suicide prevention. 24/7. (866) 4-U-Trevor. HIV+ Gay Men’s Support Group: Refreshments served. AIDS Care Ocean State, 18 Parkis Avenue, Providence. 521-3603. New members contact Scott. 640-3108. Kathys’ Group: Free support group for lesbians with cancer or any life-threatening illness. Partners and caregivers welcome. Meets monthly in Providence. 888-5KATHYS. Mantalk of S.E. Mass: Socializing and discussions for gay, bi and curious men. Confidential. Drug and alcohol-free. 18+. Thursdays in Taunton and first Tuesdays in New Bedford. 7-8:30pm. mantalksouthcoast@yahoo.com. National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Assoc./New England: Works for fair and accurate media coverage of LGBT issues. info@nlgja.org, www.nlgja.org. Partner Support Group at Fenway Health: A tenweek support group with the purpose of building community and connections for anyone who identifies as non-trans, ages 18+, and is in a relationship with a trans* person(s). 1340 Boylston Street, Boston, MA. Contact Sarah Eley, LICSW. 857-313-6551. seley@fenwayhealth.org. PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians & Gays): Greater Providence chapter, serves all RI and southeastern MA. First Wednesday 6:45pm. Met School, 325 Public Street, Providence. 751-7571. PFLAGprovidence@gmail.com, www.pflagprovidence.org. Options | October 2014

RI Coalition Against Domestic Violence: 24hr helpline: (800) 494-8100. 467-9940. RI Rainbow Support Group: For people with disabilities who identify as LGBTQ. Last Tuesday. 98 Rolfe Street, Cranston. 6-7:30pm. Contact Ken Renaud. 785-2100. Samaritans: 24hr hotline for suicidal, lonely, despairing, depressed. (800) 365-4044. 272-4044 (RI only). www.samaritansri.org. Sexual Health Education & Advocacy Program: HIV, sexual wellness, domestic violence risk reduction. Free, confidential, bilingual (Spanish). No caller ID used. Calls blocked for safety. 861-6191 ext. 121. Sojourner House: Support, shelter, advocacy and information for people in abusive relationships. Including specific LGBT services. No caller ID used. Outgoing calls blocked for safety. 24hr helpline. 765-3232. 861-6191. www.sojournerri.org Straight Spouses Group: For information on groups and online support. www.straightspouse.org. TGI Network of RI: Support, advocacy for transgender, transsexual, gender-variant, genderqueer and/or intersex people. Borderlands peer group, first and third Tuesday 7-9pm. For location and information 441-5058. info@tginetwork.org, www.tginetwork.org. Trans* Partners New England: Gives romantic partners of transgender people a confidential, safe space to explore the impact of a loved one’s gender identity on their relationships, and to connect with other loved ones

of transgender people. First Wednesday 6:30-8:30pm. Providence. Location unpublished for privacy. partners@tginetwork.org. Trans* Youth Family Allies: Support for gender-variant and transgender children ages 3-18. info@imatyfa.org, www.imatyfa.org. Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA): Growing organization to address the concerns of fair treatment of transgender veterans and active duty service members. www.tavausa.org. Women’s Resource Center of Newport and Bristol Counties: Offering services to victims of domestic violence. 846-5263.www.wrcnbc.org. q

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Worth a Look by The Lit Chick “Remember that someday the AIDS crisis will be over,” wrote ACT UP’s Vito Russo in 1988, “and when that day has come and gone there will be a people alive on this earth...who will hear the story that once there was a terrible disease, and that a brave group of people stood up and fought, and in some cases died, so that others might live and be free.” More than 20 years later, the story of the early days of ACT UP, the radical, political activist AIDS Coalition To Unleash Power, is being told in the powerful landmark documentary, How to Survive a Plague. It is the story of a group of ordinary citizens who, in the face of a government that turned a blind eye to an epidemic that would claim hundreds of thousands of lives, mobilized to effect change in a race against their own deaths and the deaths of their friends.

The Academy Award-nominated film, newly released on DVD, is told almost exclusively through archival footage of meetings, protests and demonstrations, television interviews, and candid moments. It chillingly recounts the apathy of elected officials, the greed of drug manufacturers, and the inadequacy of government agencies. Director David France dedicated the film to his partner, who lost his life to AIDS in 1992. As a journalist, France covered the AIDS epidemic from its beginning. How to Survive a Plague is a must-see. It is available online (www.surviveaplague. com) and at local libraries (www.oslri.org).

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Vivek Shraya

She of the Mountains, the most recent book by award-winning Indian multimedia artist Vivek Shraya, beautifully articulates what it means to be queer.To Shraya, being queer is the freedom to be oneself. Shraya interweaves the Hindu mythology of Shiva, the god of destruction and change; and Pavarti (Shakti), the goddess of birth and creation; and their son Ganesh, the god of wisdom and the remover of obstacles, with a modern love story of an Ontario man who, to his surprise, falls in love with a woman. Shraya is able to highlight the divine underpinnings of the seemingly mundane unfolding of life and love, self-understanding, and acceptance. There is no shortage of poetry in Shraya’s prose, and it is as beautiful as the central character eventually realizes himself to be. The book tells the story of how the love of another helps us to learn how to love ourselves, and to ultimately transcend boundaries of race, gender, and sexuality to become our highest, most authentic selves. “Ironically, queer meant whole,” Shraya writes of his central character. And in that sense, maybe queer is something we should all aspire to be. She of the Mountains is published by Canada’s Arsenal Pulp Press and will be released in October. Order your copy online or request a copy from your local bookstore, and check out Shraya’s other work at www.vivekshraya.com.

Veteran singer songwriter Gabe Lopez is back with his third album, It’s Obvious, It’s Obvious, a dance-pop compilation of his most notable personal work from the past two years. Lopez has written music and provided vocals for a number of top-label artists, including James Brown, American Idols Jim Verraros and Angela Peel, Belinda Carlisle, New Kids on the Block, and Charice. His first album, This Is About You, debuted strong in 2006. Shine Like the Sun followed in 2011 and included the track “No Hate,” adopted by the No H8 campaign. Lopez’s new album includes the standout singles “Red Light” and “Hush Your Mind.” The album is filled with driving dance-pop lyrics and beats – an instant passport to your own personal rave. The repetition in the beats is addictive and easily crowds out any unnecessary reality you may be preoccupied with. The pop ballads are equally gripping. I found “Goodbye to You” particularly heartfelt, with a deep, hauntingly soulful sound that reaches into the gut. It’s an example of a perfect mix of lyric and sound. If you’re a fan of electric beats and dynamic sound mixes, Lopez is more than worth a listen. Said James Brown, the Godfather of Soul, “Mr. Lopez gets the funk. Mr. Lopez gives us hope for the future of music.” Download It’s Obvious, It’s Obvious on iTunes, and learn more about Lopez at www.GabeLopez.com. q

Options | October 2014

Options | October 2014

kfacebook.com/satindollRI

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I’m standing with Buddy Cianci because he has a long record of standing with the LGBT community. He was the first Mayor in RI to: • Grant domestic partner benefits to Providence union employees. • Establish the Office of Gay Liaison Providence City Hall. • To fly a rainbow flag over City Hall. • To serve as Grand Marshal of the Gay pride Parade. • The first Providence Mayor to order a firetruck to drive in the Gay Pride parade, which resulted in a lawsuit that he is still fighting 13 years later. As Mayor, Buddy stepped up the efforts of the Providence Police Department to address and enforce the hate crimes law, and supported a violence recovery program. In 1999, he was honored with “The Political Ally Award” at the annual conference of the International Network of Lesbian and Gay Officials, held in Providence in November, 1999.

ANTHONY SANTURRI Owner, Colosseum Nightclub

LEADERSHIP! Buddy Cianci never backed away from standing up for human rights, and now, I’m proud to stand with Buddy and support his bid for Mayor of Providence!

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