options
Please take one
Rhode Island’s
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender
Community Newsmagazine
www.optionsri.org november
2013
Gay Religion In this issue: 3 News Briefs 6 Calendar 8 Church of the Holy Paraclete 12 Queer Dharma 14 Year in Review 16 Ready-Made Family 18 Bisexuality 19 TGI Network 21 AIDS Project Rhode Island 22 SAGE 23 Youth Pride Inc 24 AIDS Care Ocean State 26 Classifieds/Resources
17th Annual ArtBeat Auction, October 25, Providence Biltmore
options q
december 2013/january 2014
Photography:Jack Hartwein-Sanchez
q 2
News Briefs Fox and LaFond Marry
birth is the reasoning for claims that this would violate “community standards.” The Human Rights Campaign and the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) have partnered to assist Jeydon and his family.
Rhode Island House Speaker Gordon Fox and his longtime partner, Marcus LaFond, were married by Traffic Court Chief Magistrate William Guglietta in a private ceremony last month at the RI State House. They wed on the anniversary of the day that they exchanged rings in a commitment ceremony 15 years ago.
Will Jeydon Wear a Tux?
The SPLC has said that denying Jeydon the opportunity to wear clothing appropriate to him is discrimination and violates the First Amendment. It also violates Title IX, which bars discrimination on the basis of sex by any educational institution receiving federal money. Refusing to publish the photograph would even violate the school district’s own anti-discrimination policies.
Mahalo, Hawaii!
Hawaiian Governor Neil Abercrombie has signed a bill to allow same-gender couples to marry – which will mean weddings can begin on December 2.
Meredith Baxter Set to Marry Nancy Locke
options
q
Becca Gorman, the daughter of two lesbian parents, was shocked when she found this among the Apple Dictionary’s definitions of the word “gay” while working on a school project about gay rights: 3. Foolish; stupid: making students wait for the light is kind of a gay rule.
This brings the number of states with marriage equality to 16, with Illinois on the horizon.
Jeydon Loredo, a transgender student and high school senior, wants to appear in his high school yearbook wearing a tuxedo, a move that the district’s superintendent has forbidden. The fact that Jeydon was assigned female at
By Its Own Definition, Apple Is a Bit Gay
Family Ties star Meredith Baxter obtained a marriage license from a Beverly Hills courthouse Friday to wed her long-time partner, Nancy Locke. The 66-year-old actress played Elyse Keaton on the popular 1980s sitcom. She was married three times before coming out as a lesbian in 2009.
december
2013/january
2014
She wrote a letter to historically LGBTfriendly Apple, a company whose CEO was recently named the most powerful gay man in the world. A company representative responded, telling the teen that they were also shocked by the definition, and would look into correcting the problem.
N.J. Ban on Conversion Therapy Constitutional
A federal court in New Jersey has upheld the state's law banning socalled conversion therapy for LGBT minors. Judge Freda Wolfson ruled that the law, which Governor Chris Christie signed in August, does not violate free speech or religious protections guaranteed under the Constitution.
q
3
From the Editor’s Desk Happy holidays! Let me begin by welcoming the newest addition to the Options family, Ms. Traci Allen (pictured). A lively spirit with an angelic smile and a wicked sense of humor, Traci showed up at one of our monthly meetings a while back, and we were all hooked. She has been hanging around long enough now that I think she is planning to stay, and has even offered to help in our ad department. Ask for Traci when you inquire about advertising with Options – you will not be disappointed!
result is quite moving, and if you have never considered Buddhism, her article might inspire you to do so. There is also a heartwarming account of a woman’s journey to find her place within the family of her partner, a mother of four. Last, we took a look back, to reflect on the year we have just lived through. Please enjoy this month’s issue, everyone – it has been our pleasure to create it. We wish you all much love and joy at this festive time of year! And, as you don your gay apparel, please take a moment to join us in a wish for peace throughout the world in the New Year.
options Rhode Island’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Newsmagazine Since 1982
December/january 2014 q Vol. XXXI, No. 11
Managing Director Kim Stowell editor@optionsri.org Writers Courtney Beliveau, Tom Bertrand, Chris Dalpe, Brian Gay, Bradford Greer, Sally Ann Hay, Kerri Kanelos, Brian Kovaks, Jenny Valentine Copy Editors Nathaniel Zane, Brian Gay, Steve Kagan, Joseph Morra, Maria Phillips, Jim Seavor, Myra Shays Production Chris Cedroni Calendar Editor Lisé Schwartz calendar@optionsri.org Resources Editor Myra Shays mshays@verizon.net
Next, I am delighted to tell you about this issue. In our ongoing efforts to bring you stories of faith and spirit, we sent a writer out to learn about Providence’s Church of the Holy Paraclete, an Old Catholic congregation that honored our Brian with a very warm welcome. In addition, we solicited a story on Buddhism from long-time LGBT community leader Linda Handel. The
General Information info@optionsri.org Advertising Kyle Marnane advertising@optionsri.org Billing Donny McKendall billing@optionsri.org
I Want Options!
Webmaster Ken Fonzi admin@optionsri.org
For a free subscription, mailed discreetly in a plain envelope, please send:
P.O. Box 6406 Providence, RI 02940-6406
TO:
(401) 724-LGBT
www.optionsri.org
Your Name Address City
State
OPTIONS PO. Box 6406 Providence, RI 02940
options q
Zip Code
I want to get involved! Please contact me at: email: phone:
december 2013/january 2014
© OPTIONS 2013. Options is published ten times each year. The opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the governing board, volunteers or staff. Listings are provided as a resource and do not imply endorsement. Submissions to Options must be signed and accompanied by a phone number, but names may be withheld on request. Submissions, ads, calendar or resource listings for the Feburary issue must be delivered by January 13. Financial support is also always welcome. For a subscription, send us your name and address or subscribe online at www.optionsri.org. Moving? Send us your old address with your new address.
q 4
“The Bill Will Pass.”
Rep. Jared Polis (D-CO), a gay cochair of the LGBT Equality Caucus, predicts that the Employment NonDiscrimination Act will pass the House, and said the next step for the bill is to pressure Republican leaders to bring it to the floor. He added that a number of undeclared Republicans have privately told him they’d vote “yes”. The Senate has already passed the bill.
be sufficiently serious by their nature of repetition as to constitute a severe violation of human rights," the Court said.
CA Group Submits Signatures to Repeal Trans-Protection Law
Croatia moved Friday to hold a referendum on whether to allow samegender marriages, but critics say the vote is discriminatory, and gay rights groups are challenging its wording as biased and unconstitutional.
Persecuted Gay and Lesbian Africans Seek Asylum
The Court of Justice of the European Union ruled last month that three men seeking to immigrate to the Netherlands to escape anti-gay persecution in Uganda, Sierra Leone and Senegal qualify for asylum. The ruling could enable other LGBT Africans to seek asylum in the EU. But the court also said that the criminalization of homosexuality alone doesn't justify asylum. "The acts of persecution must
A group seeking to overturn a California law that establishes protections for transgender youth in schools has submitted about 620,000 signatures in favor of a ballot measure next year to repeal the law. The Privacy for All Students coalition, sponsored in part by the National Organization for Marriage, needs at least 505,000 valid signatures to qualify for a ballot initiative. Equality California Executive Director John O'Connor said his group would "put everything we've got" into protecting the law.
OPTIONS DISTRIBUTION PARTY Sunday, January 26 3-6 p.m.
The Stable
-
editor@optionsri.org or P.O. Box 6406, Providence 02940
The Stable • 125 Washington St., Providence
q
december
A December 1 ballot asking the question: “Do you agree that marriage is matrimony between a man and a woman?” seems more like a vote banning same-gender marriage in this staunchly Catholic nation. Activist groups have announced an appeal, claiming the vote infringes on basic human rights. An anti-gay group, meanwhile, gathered over 700,000 signatures in support of the vote. Croatia’s liberal President Ivo Josipovic said, “I think that determining marriage between a man and a woman does not belong in the constitution. A nation is judged by its attitude toward minorities.”
Please send letters, wedding, birth and adoption announcements, obituaries etc. to:
Please join us and help get Options OUT to all our distribution points around the state.
options
Referendum on SameGender Marriage to be Held in Croatia
2013/january
2014
q
5
Calendar
ria, 599 Tiogue Ave., Coventry. For information call 615-9600.
Got a big event coming up? Let us know about it! Send your listing by the 10th of the month preceding to calendar@optionsri.org, and we’ll see that it gets into the next edition.
December 1
World AIDS Day. Events all over the planet.
2
Observance of World AIDS Day, RI State House, noon. Speakers to include Gov. Chafee, Rep. Frank Ferri, Dr. Philip Chan. Light refreshments.
3 Borderlands, 7-9 p.m. A peer-led support group open to transgender, transsexual, gender-variant, and/or intersex people and those who are exploring whether one or more of these identities is a good description of their experience. Meeting location withheld for participant privacy. See info@tginetwork. org for more information. 4
PFLAG of Greater Providence meeting, 6:45-8:45 p.m. The Met School (Justice Building), 325 Public St., Providence. 7517571.
4
Providence Gay Men’s Chorus presents NOEL – An international celebration of the holidays in traditional PGMC fashion, 7 p.m. Beneficent Congregational Church, 300 Weybosset St., Providence. Tickets are $20 and are available via www. provgmc.org or www.PGMC-Noel. Eventbrite.com.
6-8 Holly Folly weekend in Provincetown. See www.ptown.org/hollyfolly.asp for events. 6
6
Providence Gay Men’s Chorus presents NOEL – An international celebration of the holidays in traditional PGMC fashion, 7 p.m. The PGMC partners with CABINS (Community Against Bullying in Schools) for this benefit performance. Wesley United Methodist Church, 55 Woodland St., Lincoln. See www. provgmc.org for ticket information. Live for Life! John Abernathy’s 50th birthday cabaret show at The Mary K. Hail Music Mansion, 88 Meeting St., Providence. Doors open at 7 p.m. for cocktail hour with a cash bar. Show begins at 8 p.m. Partial proceeds to benefit AIDS Care Ocean State. Due to venue policy, tickets ($20) must be purchased in advance at www.abernathy.eventbrite.com. For information about John Abernathy see www.john-abernathy.com.
7
Providence Gay Men’s Chorus presents NOEL – An international celebration of the holidays in traditional PGMC fashion, 7 p.m. Beneficent Congregational Church, 300 Weybosset St., Providence. Tickets are $20 and are available via www. provgmc.org or www.PGMC-Noel.Eventbrite.com.
7
ICRI’s Monarch’s Ball, hosted by Emperor XXI Scott Diamond McMahon and Empress XXI Gia Devaroux, 7-9 p.m. EGO, 73 Richmond St., Providence. $10 at the door which will benefit Sojourner House.
7
Becky Chase Band, 9 p.m.-midnight. Indigo Lounge & Pizze-
options q
8
Michael Slade’s Birthday Toy Drive, 12-8 p.m. The Stable, 125 Washington St., Providence. Bring an unwrapped toy or Target gift card. Donated toys, clothing and books will be delivered to ACOS families and their children for the holidays. Enjoy food, music, and beverages. Hosted by Kitty Litter, BB Hayes, Michael Slade, and Scott Connery.
8
Providence Gay Men’s Chorus presents NOEL – An international celebration of the holidays in traditional PGMC fashion, 4 p.m. Beneficent Congregational Church, 300 Weybosset St., Providence. Tickets are $20 and are available via www. provgmc.org or www.PGMC-Noel.Eventbrite.com.
8
RI Prime Timers, 4:30-7 p.m. Social and networking for gay and bisexual men 40+. Social, dinner and meeting. See www. riprimetimers.org or call Steve at 996-3010 for more information.
10 TransFamily New England, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free, confidential meeting for parents and other family members of someone identifying as transgender, gender variant, and/or intersex. Meetings held in Providence. E-mail jewcy15@gmail.com to be added to the contact list. 12 Dinner and Christmas with Kitty Litter, 6:30 p.m. The Stadium Theatre, 28 Monument Square, Woonsocket. Dinner provided by River Falls Restaurant is included with the price of admission. For tickets call 762-4545. 15 Drag Extravaganza Holiday Show, 7 p.m. Comedy Connection, 39 Warren Ave., East Providence. Kitty Litter, Sabrina Blaze, LaDiva Jonz, and Haley Star all star in this show to benefit AIDS Care Ocean State. $20 tickets can be purchased by calling 438-8383, or via www.ricomedyconnection. com. Doors open at 6 p.m. 15 Fifteenth Annual ACOS Toy Drive. 1-9 p.m., the Dark Lady & the Alley Cat. Bring an unwrapped toy for the children of ACOS. Food, music, giveaways. 17 Borderlands, 7-9 p.m. A peer-led support group open to transgender, transsexual, gender-variant, and/or intersex people and those who are exploring whether one or more of these identities is a good description of their experience. Meeting location withheld for participant privacy. See info@tginetwork. org for more information. 18 Queer Book Club, 7 p.m. Books on the Square, 471 Angell St., Providence. My Name is Red by Orhan Pamuk. Discount if book is purchased at Books on the Square. For more information e-mail queerbookclub@gmail.com. 19 Martha Stewart Gay Bingo, 7 p.m. Riviera Bingo Palace, 1612 Elmwood Ave., Cranston. Doors open at 6 p.m. $20 to play. Bingo benefits ACOS and APRI. Wear your ugliest holiday sweater! 21 COLAGE, 10:30 a.m.-12 noon. The Gordon School, East Providence. A kid-centered place for youth ages 8 and up with one or more LGBTQ parents. To RSVP or to receive more information, e-mail Veronica at vjutras5@gmail.com. 21 Sister Funk Live at Deville’s Christmas Party, 8 p.m. 345 South Water St., Providence. No Cover. For information call 383-
december 2013/january 2014
q 6
22 Christmas DIVA show, 4-7 p.m. Indigo Lounge & Pizzeria, 599 Tiogue Ave., Coventry. Karen Grenier, Colby and Keila, MaryAnn Rossoni, Christina Thomas and the Mary Day Band. $10 includes Christmas pizzas. For information call 615-9600. 31 New Year’s Eve Party, 6 p.m.-1 a.m. Indigo Lounge & Pizzeria, 599 Tiogue Ave., Coventry. $25 includes buffet from 6-8 p.m., comedy show from 8-10 p.m., and DJ dancing from 10 p.m.-close. Champagne toast and noisemakers, too. Tickets sold in advance. For information call 615-9600.
January 2014 7
Borderlands, 7-9 p.m. A peer-led support group open to transgender, transsexual, gender-variant, and/or intersex people and those who are exploring whether one or more of these identities is a good description of their experience. Meeting location withheld for participant privacy. See info@tginetwork. org for more information.
12 RI Prime Timers, 4:30-7 p.m. Social and networking for gay and bisexual men 40+. Social, dinner and meeting. See www. riprimetimers.org or call Steve at 996-3010 for more information. 14 TransFamily New England, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free, confidential meeting for parents and other family members of someone identifying as transgender, gender-variant and/or intersex. Meetings held in Providence. E-mail jewcy15@gmail.com to be added to the contact list.
PORTRAITS
8883.
JDHSPHOTOS.COM 401.624.6698 JDHSPhotos@verizon.net
JDHS  Photos
15 Queer Book Club, 7 p.m. Books on the Square, 471 Angell St., Providence. Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters. Discount if book is purchased at Books on the Square. For more information e-mail queerbookclub@gmail.com. 16 Bring a Friend Gay Bingo, 7 p.m. Riviera Bingo Palace, 1612 Elmwood Ave., Cranston. Doors open at 6 p.m. $20 to play. Bingo benefits ACOS and APRI. If you bring the most friends, you win a prize! 18 COLAGE, 10:30 a.m.-12 noon. The Gordon School, East Providence. A kid-centered place for youth ages 8 and up with one or more LGBTQ parents. To RSVP or to receive more information, e-mail Veronica at vjutras5@gmail.com. 19 Red Party to benefit the Imperial Court of RI, 8-11 p.m. The Mirabar, 15 Elbow St., Providence. Hosted by Emperor XXI Scott Diamond McMahon and Lord Steven Vitale. $5 at the door. 21 Borderlands, 7-9 p.m. A peer-led support group open to transgender, transsexual, gender-variant and/or intersex people and those who are exploring whether one or more of these identities is a good description of their experience. Meeting location withheld for participant privacy. See info@tginetwork. org for more information.
options
q
december
2013/january
2014
q
7
The Church of the Holy Paraclete Brian Gay
“Welcoming.” This is the word that best describes my experience at the Church of the Holy Paraclete. From the moment I walked through the front door right up until I said my goodbyes, I felt very much at home among this faith community. The Church of the Holy Paraclete is a faith community of the Old Catholic Church. In a state where most everyone is familiar with the Roman Catholic Church, the Old Catholic Church is less well known by many Rhode Islanders. While very similar in liturgy, there are some major differences between the two Christian churches. Unlike
the Roman Catholic Church, the Old Catholic Church does not have any official ties to the Pope or the Vatican but is instead headed by the Archbishop of Utrecht in the Netherlands. Another important difference between the two churches is that the Old Catholic Church is welcoming of LGBT persons. The Church of the Holy Paraclete first formed in 2009, but because they owned no property, they would meet and hold their services at the Brooklyn Coffee & Tea House on Douglas Avenue in the heart of Smith Hill. It would be two years until the parish got a home of their own, purchasing a metal works
shop owned, ironically, by the family of former Governor Don Carcieri, just a few doors down from the Brooklyn. Visitors can identify the quaint church by its mission style architecture, complete with what appears to be sandstone trim, red shutters and a simple cross capping the edifice. Once inside, one is greeted by an array of beautiful objets d’art from diverse national and religious origins. The tabernacle is Spanish colonial. The pews are from a closed synagogue on Broad Street. Items hail from as far away as Seattle and Germany. In the rear of the chapel are stained glass portraits of Jonathan Edwards, an Episcopal priest, and the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., a Southern Baptist minister, both killed in the civil rights movement. The men are given the title of “Blessed” by the Holy Paraclete faith community. The art is not the only sign of diversity at Holy Paraclete. According to Rev. Jakob Lazarus, one of the pastors, the Church draws members from varied backgrounds. Parishioners include Mormons, Baptists and Episcopalians, as well as a number of former and still practicing Roman Catholics. One parishioner I spoke with was an atheist from a Mormon family who practiced Buddhism before coming to Holy Paraclete. She said she felt at home here and that she “found a lot of help through the [parish]”. It was at Holy Paraclete that she became a Baptized Christian.
options q
december 2013/january 2014
q 8
The church “attracts people from all walks of life,” said Bob Iovino, a parishioner who was not raised Catholic but who enjoys coming to Mass at Holy Paraclete. When I asked him what it was like for him to attend a Catholic Mass, something not part of his religious tradition, he said that “it began comfortably in [the] coffeehouse,” but admitted that once it moved to the current location “it took some getting used to.” He said had it been in a “regular Roman Catholic church, it wouldn’t have been appealing” to him. Despite the adjustment, he’s still attending four years later. He attributes part of the parish’s success to “Jakob’s charisma.” One can’t help being impressed by the parish priests. In addition to being cordial, both hold multiple degrees in wide-ranging disciplines from institutions of higher education. Rev. Lazarus is in the process of going for his second doctorate. When he is not celebrating Mass or providing a safe space for local neighborhood kids to drop in and spend time (a neighborhood boy popped in for a visit during our interview), he co-teaches a business ethics course at Johnson & Wales with the other pastor, Rev. Dr. John Reardon. He is also an attorney. His jovial nature and interest in exploring
deep questions about contemporary life and spirituality were evident throughout our conversation. Rev. Dr. Reardon has quite the résumé himself. A Licensed Clinical Social Worker by day, he has been a priest for almost 10 years, has a PhD. in Theology from Fordham University and served in a variety of capacities before coming to Holy Paraclete. A former Roman Catholic priest, Reardon said it was his growing discomfort with the church’s teachings on LGBT people that led him to leave and serve the Old Catholic community at Holy Paraclete. He told me of his ongoing struggle (spanning several decades) trying to reconcile his sexuality with his priestly vocation. It was following a very sobering coming out conversation with someone closeto him that he knew something needed to change. “I didn’t want to pretend to believe things I didn’t believe,” he said. “I can’t be a part of this – can’t be part of something that was…damaging to people.” He expressed concern about the threat of spiritual violence posed by certain teachings of the Roman Catholic Church. When asked why LGBT people (who make up approximately 90 percent of the parish) should consider attending a place like Holy Paraclete instead of one of the welcoming local Roman Catholic
parishes like St. Mary on Broadway, Rev. Lazarus cited risk as a key issue. “When people let down their guard, what happens when the next priest comes in?” And that has happened. Several Holy Paraclete parishioners were out members of their Roman Catholic communities when a new priest (or bishop) arrived and literally forced them out. Rev. Jakob described one lesbian couple from Riverside who had been dismissed from their home parish when a new pastor was assigned. Spouses Bradley Marshall and James Kelly worked for the Diocese of Providence for nearly thirty years as interpreters, managing the diocesan Ministry for the Deaf. Their services included a weekly Mass for the Deaf, parish trainings on sign language, direct service to Deaf Catholics who needed help drafting documents and more. Marshall said they had even collaborated with folks at Providence College in an effort to create a special translation of the Mass into sign language, which would make more sense than the format that was being used at the time. When Bishop Tobin was assigned to Providence, Kelley was given a day-and-a-half notice to remove his things from his office, Marshall told me. “Everyone knew we had been together,” he said. The Mass for the Deaf was also cancelled and the two were barred from serving as interpreters at parishes going forward, says Marshall. The two now attend Holy Paraclete, where Marshall signs throughout the Mass. Both Revs. Lazarus and Reardon told me that they feel they are doing what Pope Francis “has asked [Catholics] to do, to go outside the walls and make a mess.” When asked how they are making a mess, Rev. Lazarus cited Holy Paraclete’s radical acceptance of all Christians as an example. “The [Roman Catholic] Church is saying not everyone can receive [the Eucharist]; we’re saying everyone can.” The issue of being denied Communion is one that many LGBT Catholics have faced, along with those Catholics who are divorced, and those who publicly oppose the Church’s teachings on
options
q
december
2013/january
2014
q
9
the issue of abortion. Just this year, a priest at a Roman Catholic parish in Woonsocket denied Communion to a gay couple when they expressed their discomfort with the political nature of his Sunday sermons. The Mass itself is also a warm and pleasant experience. While Rev. Reardon celebrated the Mass at the altar in his vestments, Rev. Lazarus sat in one of the front pews, actively participating in the Mass in casual dress. Behind the altar, the tabernacle was adorned with pumpkins, squash and decorative fall foliage. Before the altar was a table on which parishioners had placed photos of departed loved ones and relics of Church saints, in observance of November, the month when Catholics honor the dead. To the right, Brother Mike Grimmer welcomed those attending Mass, while also managing the music and Prayers of the Faithful. To the left stood Marshall, signing throughout the Mass. Parishioners took turns with the Readings. At the Sign of Peace, parishioners went out of their way to affectionately greet all others in attendance through either a grasping of hands or an embrace.
options q
From my experience at the Mass and my conversations with the parish priests and parishioners, it is clear that Holy Paraclete serves as a safe space for those who appreciate the Catholic tradition but have either been directly hurt by or would not be welcome at a Roman Catholic parish. One parishioner, who identifies as trans and has experienced a number of personal challenges, asked that I let readers know what a welcoming place it is: “It’s been like a family for me here.” Parishioner Tommy Sinnott said he “feel[s] like [he’s] very comfortable here” because he can be “Catholic but still in [his] gayhood”. Overall he said he gives the Church of the Holy Paraclete “Five Heavenly Stars.” I think he puts it beautifully. Those interested in learning more about the Church of the Holy Paraclete can visit www.holyparaclete.org or contact Father Jakob (frjakob@holyparaclete. org), Father John (frjohn@ holyparaclete.org) or Brother Mike (brmike@holyparaclete.org) directly. Masses are celebrated Sundays at 9 a.m. and 6 p.m.
december 2013/january 2014
q 10
Congratulations on Marriage Equality RI!!
Susan T. Perkins
Attorney at Law
CALL 401.PERKINS 462 Broadway, Providence, RI 02909 Office: (401) 273.9092 | Cell: (401) 575.7426 | Fax: (401) 331.1898 susan@susantperkins.com www.susantperkins.com Practicing in Rhode Island, Massachusetts and Connecticut
CALL 401.PERKINS
Getting Divorced?
Getting Married?
Anytime, Anywhere...I will perform your ceremony with love and compassion on one of the most important days in your life!
I can help you navigate through this, often times, difficult process. I handle all aspects of divorce from simple uncontested divorces to high conflict, high net worth involving extensive assets and complex child custody issues including relocations.
A portion of every clients fee is donated to the fight against Breast Cancer
Photography by
Richard Benjamin options q
december
2013/january
2014
q
11
Welcome to Queer Dharma Linda Handel
Dharma, the teachings of the Buddha, is the core of Buddhism. Have you ever heard of Queer Dharma? If you are queer and looking for a queer Buddhist community the closest Queer Dharma group meets on the second Sunday of the month from 4 to 6 p.m. at the Boston Shambhala Center. Actually, the address is in Brookline, which is really easy to get to without the hassle of Boston driving and parking. The next meeting is on Sunday, December 8. You can find more information at boston. shambhala.org
shop local, cook american... with a french soul
a place to go, to eat, to see, to hang-out
Rue De L’Espoir
American Bistro Cooking open daily breakfast, lunch, dinner 99 Hope Street, Providence, RI 02906 info/reservations 751-8890 www.therue.com
options q
Here is a little history of Queer Dharma so you can see how it became a national movement. The idea of Queer Dharma became a conversation in 2003. A group of New York Shambhala Buddhist LGBTQ men and women, led by Craig Smith, met for a retreat called FIRE (Fire Island Retreat Experience) on, of course, Fire Island. The retreat was sponsored by the Shambhala Meditation Center of New York and to this day, the authentic Queer Dharma retreats are still part of Shambhala. In May 2004, the very first LGBTQ formal Queer Dharma retreat was held at Karme Choling, in Barnet, Vermont. As the website says about Karme Choling, “It is the first landbased site established by the founder of Shambhala Buddhism, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, a 20th century Buddhist meditation master.” Karme Choling, known as the Tail of the Tiger, is just gorgeous: www.karmecholing. org.
december 2013/january 2014
At this retreat, about 50 of us gathered for meditation, and teachings by Enkyō Pat O'Hara, founder of The Village Zendo in New York City. This sounds so formal and intense, but it wasn't always as serious as it sounds. We had tons of fun doing an artsy project with clay, having a dance party and singing by a big fire in the evenings. The best part, for me, though, was being asked to join the founders committee to assist in making Queer Dharma a national movement. A Google search shows that Queer Dharma meditation programs and retreats now meet regularly across the country. We disbanded as a formal committee two years after we gathered. Why Queer Dharma? I guess for the same reason there is Options Magazine. We like to feel we are supported by one another and that we aren't alone. I didn't, at the outset, think I wanted or needed a “separate” experience as a Buddhist meditator. I have always been comfortable in Buddhist meditation centers of all types. But taking my seat among rows of gay meditators and friends was profound and uniquely precious. Those Queer Dharma experiences are still out there, and you don’t have to know how to meditate or be a Buddhist. You would be given meditation instruction, have someone guide you and answer your questions. Just going to the Queer Dharma Sunday for meditation in Brookline is special. Having an opportunity to speak about your spiritual self among others who know what it’s like to be raised in a religion where you don’t feel accepted is almost a relief. If that’s not your experience, finding a spiritual path,
q 12
regardless of your religious upbringing, can help you connect to yourself and others. I have come to see three phases in LGBTQ spirituality. The first is the struggle for acceptance. This year alone, we have made monumental strides in gaining equal status. Those strides, however, weren’t “snap your fingers and it’s done.” Years and years of dedicated LGBTQ activists pushed the envelope, making way for legalized marriage and federal rights. But think for a minute. If you were to marry, would you do so at your church? Or would your cousin George from Queens get an online ministry license to perform the ceremony? That’s what I’m talking about. Even with the laws changing, the place where you grew up and worshipped with your family may still not be comfortable for you or you accepted by them. The second step is having the notion that we have special spiritual qualities because of being gay. And over the years I’ve heard that a lot. The best part about being gay, which is part of the founding Queer Dharma philosophy, is the realization that we are not that different after all. To spend one's early adolescence in fear and uncertainty with regard to the opinions of one's peers or family is uncomfortable and scary. But you don’t have to be a gay kid to have the same bullies call you names or threaten you. These days bullying has become a universal problem.
basis for Buddist practice. I know, I hear it all the time: You have tried to meditate but can’t. Everyone can learn to meditate. Even 10 minutes a day with proper instruction from reliable teachers can change your life. By learning to meditate, you will learn the most profound lessons about yourself and training your mind. Give yourself a chance to try meditating and getting good instruction. You are worth the outcome! There is a very good and fundamental Buddhist center on Ives Street in Providence called the Serlingpa Meditation Center. The monk there is well-versed in mind training through meditation, but is modest so you may have to ask. The Serlingpa community has just expanded their programs due to demand. Give yourself a spiritual gift and give this a try. You can find them online at meditationinmass.org/ providenceri. Linda Handel is in private practice in Providence.
CHILDREN ADOLESCENTS ADULTS
Depression ADHD Anxiety Self-esteem
The third phase of our spiritual development is realizing that what others want is more or less the same as what we want for ourselves: to be loved and accepted. In this phase we begin to drop the notion that we are unique because we’re gay. We gain confidence through peer support, to get comfortable with ourselves. Meditation challenges us to let go of being fixated on a “special identity” and to accept ourselves just as we are.
Study Skills/ Time Management Relationships/Intimacy
John D. DaPonte, CAGS Mental Health Counselor
A Queer Dharma experience is not an answer to your spirituality. It’s just a format that many enjoy but isn’t easily available. Learning to meditate is available in Rhode Island and is the
options q
401.383.7647 MAJOR INSURANCES ACCEPTED
december
2013/january
2014
q
13
The Year In Review Bradford Greer
Last year at this time many people believed that the Mayan Calendar had predicted something cataclysmic would occur like the end of the world as we knew it. Many woke up, and in the following days snickered and sneered. That is until Hurricane Sandy hit, followed by Memo: the Blizzard of 2013. It was not the end of the world, but 2013 saw Rhode Island irrevocable altered physically, politically and sociologically. Here are some highlights. Love finally prevailed when lawmakers in Rhode Island passed the marriage law this spring after more than 16 years of efforts by marriage equality supporters. In public celebrations and intimate ceremonies couples exchanged vows as same-gender marriage became the law of the land.
“If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?” So spoke the newly appointed Pope Francis with more compassion towards gay Roman Catholics and priests then the Vatican has ever
options q
expressed in its history.
reparative sexual orientation therapy.
Providence was named the 12th GAYEST city in America by The Advocate, which was quoted as saying Providence was “so gay and so unstuffy in a non New England-y kind of way.” Rhode Island ranked fifth in adults who identified as LGBT in states who legalized same-gender marriage
AIDS CARE OCEAN STATE continued in their mega fundraising activities for people living with HIV/AIDS by uniting the community with uplifting social events designed to bring out the glitz and glamour, smiles and laughter and raucous good times that so populate the Rhode Island social season. Dine Out for Life, ArtBeat Auction, Gay Bingo, The Legends! Calendar, Birthday-tinis, Kings to Queens, comedy shows and hangover brunches just to name a few of the events that keep our beloved drag queens in heels and hairspray and our wallets opening like revolving doors. Their partnership with Family Services, the donation center and Adopt-a-Family programs underscore the seriousness of their very hard work. This year, their Fundraising Director Stephen Hartley married his longtime love Brian Deslauriers.
TRANSFORMATION turned out to be a groundbreaking art exhibition of drawings and paintings by Mac MacDougall, a Pawtucket-based artist who bravely explored his twenty-year journey of gender transition on canvas for all to see. The American Psychiatric Association agreed to no longer classify people who are transgender as having a mental illness. This re-classification removes the stigma of mental illness, a huge stumbling block in securing basic human rights and considerations for those who are transgender. “I think we can all relate to being held in judgment by others and held hostage by an image that we are not and never were,” Mr. MacDougall said. In cases against both government and private employers, transgender workers were successful using the Civil Rights Act’s sex discrimination protections to fight anti-transgender discrimination. The Homophobic Group EXODUS INTERNATIONAL disbanded after 37 years and apologized for the pain so many suffered under their failed
december 2013/january 2014
q 14
The newly formed RILGBT Community Center founding board members were named from leaders within our community. Their mission is to build and support the community by providing visible, safe headquarters for our organizations to hold meetings, attend events, get information and serve as a hub for our organizations. They are diligently investigating locations and fundraising options.
lives of male sex workers in Rhode Island when Project Weber and Gruaman Films Company produced INVISIBLE. This powerful and insightful documentary brought humanity to a population very few people care about. This year, Project Weber realized their longtime goal to open a nonjudgmental space to offer specialized interventions, support groups and testing and counseling.
AIDS PROJECT RHODE ISLAND launched the first gay men’s health and wellness website: men2men.org. Living healthy, responsibly and socially active has taken a giant leap forward with this comprehensive community information resource for gay men in Rhode Island.
Options celebrated its 30th birthday with fundraisers throughout the year: most notably the stellar White Party at the fabulous Eastons Beach Rotunda in Newport. Former staff member Chris Cedroni returned as the Production Manager. Resource editor Myra Shays was celebrated with a proclamation in her honor at the State House for her many years leading and founding the Providence chapter of PFLAG. Staff members Donny McKendall and Kyle Marnane got engaged.
THE AIDS WALK FOR LIFE is the area’s largest event dedicated to raising awareness and funds for HIV prevention, testing and providing care for people living with HIV/AIDS. This year’s 28th walk was led by veteran leaders Guy Abelson and Roz Rustigian. “Prevention Is the Solution” was the theme, and among the speakers and dignitaries, none was more eloquent and passionate than Anthony Masseli, who stood tall and unabashedly demanded an end to fear, shame and intolerance around the disease. “Everyone is responsible for making sure that education is available and that they know and honestly share their status with their partners.” Rich Holcomb shined a light into the
Transitions
OUTSPOKEN: the program designed to develop leadership and advocacy skills was resurrected with additional funding to continue advocating for Youth Pride. YPI said a sad farewell to five-year veteran staff member Jayson Watts and welcomed Angela Sherwin and Aaron Buckley to their board. Their Annual dinner/dance/fundraiser “Say I Do” was a jubilant evening of celebration, awards and dancing. YPI also sponsored a Suicide Prevention Training this year. The Providence Gay Men’s Chorus Announced new leadership in Kim Kuda as Artistic Director, David O’Brien as Board President and Susan Carroll as accompanist. The group also rolled out a new logo and a re-designed website and sang as the Marriage Equality bill was signed into law at the State House, the 28th Annual AIDS WALK and at URI’s Coming Out Day Observance.
Ray Fay, Emperor XIV, Jeanne Manford, Founder of PFLAG Edward, “J” Lavelle,
Jose Serria, Empress Jose l, The Widow Norton.
SAGE/RI is on the move. They testified at the House and Senate Judiciary Committee hearings on the value of equal marriage rights in their ongoing quest to explore housing options for the elder LGBT community. They also hosted RI’s first LGBT Health Fair at the State House Rotunda, had a table at URI’s Pride Night on Coming Out Day and participated at the Senior Expo’s
Civil Union Marriage Ceremonies Ceremonies [>\ Senator Donna M. Nesselbush Senator
Donna M.Court Nesselbush Municipal Judge Municipal Courtext. Judge 401-274-7400, 53
401-223-1126 401-378-2155
options q
december
2013/january
2014
q
15
Creating Senior-Friendly Communities. This year SAGE/RI also held their first membership drive. The Imperial Court of Rhode Island celebrated its 21st Anniversary with a Coronation Ball at the Providence Biltmore Grand Ballroom. Introducing REIGN XXI were Emperor of Dedication, Desire and Equality Scott Diamond McMahon and The Finally Legal Black Diamond, Emerald & Amethyst Temptress Empress Gia Devereaux (Eric Cimochowski). The first honorary ball chair was none other than Buddy Cianci. At the 2013 Triple Crown Pageant, Dion Baker was crowned Mr. Gay RI; Alicia Ellery, Ms. Lesbian RI; and Justus received the Ms. Gay RI title.
from their new space at Hope Village paid off in an extraordinary Gay Pride month of events for Rhode Islanders to put their pride on parade.
As we approach the end of 2013, perhaps we can continue to carry love forward. Can we learn from our missteps and regrets? With our New Year’s resolutions, meditations, voices, votes and contributions, we can choose to work for a healthier, more enlightened and compassionate world. Pay it forward. Love forward. And you can count on Options to be there to chronicle your continued incredible efforts in 2014. Cheers!
Love Forward was the theme for this year’s RI PRIDEFEST. It was a call to action in the wake of gay student suicides on the rise, a ridiculously insurmountable impasse between political parties, public school shootings, the Boston Marathon bombings and the fight for full equality for all those who are marginalized in our society. It was very clear that all the hard work, fundraising, organization and diligence
options q
december 2013/january 2014
q 16
Ready-Made Family Courtney Beliveau
I am an only child. I never had to share my toys, deal with another human being touching my stuff or learn to live peacefully with anyone other than my parents. I finally had to learn these skills when I went to college. I moved in with four other people, which turned out to be an absolute trial by fire. An only child thrown in with four very different personalities, some not very nice. It wasn’t always pretty, but I survived. I was fairly certain I would never want to live with more than one person ever again. I never imagined myself being a parent. I used to hear my friends talk about wanting to be mommies, but I never had that instinct. I had a lot of younger cousins and I loved being around them, but I also loved that they weren’t my responsibility 100 percent of the time. I didn’t have that maternal instinct and I often felt bad that I didn’t; if I didn’t have babies, my mother could never be a grandmother. Was I being selfish? Fast forward to 2002 when this nonmaternal only child met someone who would change everything. I met a woman who was beautiful, smart, funny and the mother of four. Wait, what? That’s right, a mother of four. The beginning of our relationship was easy. She didn’t want to bring me into her children’s lives until she knew I was staying around. They spent a lot of their weekends with their grandparents, so we were able to spend time getting to know each other without them. The
kids were pretty young at the time so when I finally did meet them, I was just a friend. I am a child of divorce, and I know how awkward it was meeting people my parents dated, so I was totally okay with being a friend. We lived over an hour apart. A year of driving back and forth finally got to be too much, and I had to make a decision. I chose to move closer to her. We weren’t ready to move in together, but being closer made things so much easier. It gave me more of a chance to spend time with the kids and try to get to know them. I admit that I wasn’t very good at it, and there are certainly things I wish I could do over, but I was trying.
It took me six years to finally be ready to move in with her and the kids. It was an extremely difficult decision for me. I know she didn’t understand my hesitation, and I didn’t know how to explain it. She has a sister. She has been a mom since she was 19. She has never lived completely alone. I loved her kids; I had fun with them; but living together was scary for me. I was living completely on my own for the first time, and I wasn’t sure I could give that up, but for the sake of my relationship I had to try. Moving in together was not easy. I went from my little apartment all by myself to a house with three noisy, rambunctious boys. It was loud, and there was very little privacy. I wondered if I just wasn’t cut out for this. Eventually we all settled into life together, and things became somewhat normal. Whether I realized
it at the time or not, I was becoming a stepparent. One of the most difficult things for me then and now is where I fit in. My girlfriend and her oldest child think of me as part of the family. She swears her sons do, too, but I am not always sure. I still sometimes feel like a visitor. There are times when I need to enforce a rule or ask one of them to do something, and it often causes major tension. I know that as an adult in their lives there will be times when that is necessary, but the fact is I am not their parent, and they know that as well as I do. I have learned to accept that things won’t always be perfect, and I will make mistakes. I have had the privilege of watching them grow over the years and in many ways I have grown with them. I love them in a way that I didn’t think was possible. I cheer at their accomplishments, and I cry at their defeats. My heart breaks for them when they are hurting. I have tried to be there for all the important moments in their lives, and I will continue to do so. I hope that despite my flaws I have been a positive influence in their lives. We are, in our own unique way, a family. I still act like an only child sometimes. I’m still not great at sharing, and I don’t like it when people touch my stuff. But I’m trying, and thanks to the family I didn’t know I wanted, I think I’ll get it eventually.
Love, strength, commitment Expressive wedding bands in gold, silver, platinum and palladium 3228 Post Road Historic Apponaug Village Warwick, RI 02886 Call (800) 910-4869 or (401) 738-0511 www.placejewellers.com
Buyers, Sellers and Appraisers of Estate Jewelry
Lic.#92365
options q
december
2013/january
2014
q
17
Defining Bisexuality Jenny Valentine
Any time anyone asks me to define bisexuality, I pause and take a deep breath. I take that breath not because oxygen is good and I have a lot to say, but because I’m reminded of all those bisexual myths that feel like a punch to the gut. The ones that say that bisexuals are indecisive, sluts, cheats, liars, nonmonogamous or nonexistent (to name a few). Those are what I’m up against when I begin this conversation, but its importance always trumps my hesitancy. Since I’m here to define bisexuality, maybe it’s easier to first define what sexuality generally isn’t. Sexuality does not inform your character. It has nothing to do with your morality and ethics. It does not determine how many partners you will have sex with or how many people you will be attracted to in your lifetime. Your type of sexuality will not determine your level of faithfulness to your partner (or if you will be faithful to one person or to several). It also is not the determining factor in whom you will be romantically attracted to. I know you’re thinking, “Wait a second. Sexual attraction and romantic attraction are the same thing.” The problem is, they aren’t. Think about it this way: we all know someone who has a lot of sex
options q
and shows no real inclination to being romantically affectionate with anyone. If that person identifies as a male who is attracted to females, he would be heterosexual but aromantic. An example of a homoromantic asexual would be a male who does not enjoy sex, but likes to date men. There are people, Lady Gaga for instance, who identify as bisexual but feel romantically attracted to only one gender (she’s heteromantic). In my case, I am a bisexual who is biromantic. To clarify, that does not mean I date or want to date two genders at once; it means I’m open to relationships with either. So, to reiterate, sexual attraction and romantic attraction are not the same thing. Now that I’ve explained what sexuality isn’t, let me elaborate on what bisexuality is. Bisexuality simply means that a person is attracted to both males and females. I understand that this concept is confusing to some; and therefore, I’m going to take you on a clarifying walk. So, dear reader, you and I are walking down the street, passing many people as we go. Due to a difference in taste, I’m attracted to the brunette on the left and you prefer the ginger on the right. Maybe I like the brunette’s large hands, and you think the redhead has a nice butt. If we
december 2013/january 2014
did this multiple times, we’d probably find that some of the physical traits that attract us would be consistent and others would depend on the person themselves (e.g., some people wear glasses better than others). For bisexuals like me, gender is one of those inconsistent traits. I don’t need a specific gender to find someone attractive, much as you probably don’t need a specific eye color. I definitely enjoy my partner’s gender; it just isn’t necessarily the determining factor in whether or not I ask someone out to dinner. At the end of the day, how any one person expresses their sexuality and romantic feelings is going to be a combination of their orientations and their personality. No two bisexuals or heterosexuals or homosexuals or pansexuals (please, look it up) are the same. Some will participate in open relationships, some will be monogamous, some will cheat and some may change over time. Human beings like rules because they help us make sense of the world, but people are far too complex to abide by such restrictions. So the next time you find yourself confused about how others live, remember that everyone is subject to the extraordinary complexity of the human condition, and maybe try not to judge too harshly. I can assure you, it would at least help me breathe a little easier.
q 18
TGI Network Brian Kovacs
Home for the Holidays?
“The Holidays,” as we have come to call them, are fraught for many of us within and without the LGBTQQIA community. For trans people, these times bring their own special take on the stresses of being with the family. “Home is where, when you go there, they have to accept you.” So they say. Except for many trans people, that is not the case. And the pain of being rejected or abandoned by your family may be the worst pain there is. Even if your family is fairly accepting of you, there are always the slips. Being called by your former name hurts, especially when it’s Mom or Dad or Sis or Bro who can’t ever seem to remember that’s not you. Being mispronouned, like the clothes and the haircut and the change in makeup aren’t clue enough. Having the one (or more) family member who won’t speak to you and acts like you’re not there. Having small children herded away from you with the not-so-subtle suggestion that they’re not safe around you. And many, many families are not accepting. Maybe some people get to go home, but like others in the LGBTQQIA community, more don’t get to go there. They’ve been kicked out. They are so unwelcome that they cannot go there safely. Their partner divorced them, and took the kids in
options q
spirit as well as body. They’ve been told they can come home only as who they used to be. The person they are – the person they really are – is unwelcome. An astonishing percentage of trans people go through a period of homelessness during transition. Nearly half! Since few shelters accept trans people as trans, and fewer still offer them safety, being homeless can mean couch-surfing at best, and being on the street at worst. The pictures, the music, the sights and smells of the holiday are incredibly poignant when you’re outside in the dark and the cold, looking in to a world that no longer seems to welcome you or have a place for you. Answers? There are no easy ones, where there are answers as such at all, but there are resources for LGBTQQ individuals in the Rhode Island area: If you’re between the ages of 13 and 23, Youth Pride, Inc. can provide a safe space and holiday fellowship; visit www.youthprideri.org. TGI Network’s Borderlands support group meets twice monthly on Tuesdays; contact borderlands@ tginetwork.org. Massachusetts Transgender Political Committee offers a number of social gatherings for transgender people; visit www.masstpc.org. The Trevor Project offers a national 24hour hotline for LGBTQ people in crisis; call 866-488-7386.
december
2013/january
2014
q
19
options q
december 2013/january 2014
q 20
AIDS Project Rhode Island Tom Bertrand, MPH
December 1 is World AIDS Day
I often cringe when I hear HIV casually referred to as “…just another chronic disease like diabetes.” It’s true that HIV is a chronic disease and is no longer the “death sentence” that it once was. However, I think we do a disservice to people living with HIV/ AIDS when we don’t also acknowledge its potential unique consequences, including discrimination, relationship issues, mental strife and the cost of health care and HIV drugs that will likely exceed $380,000 dollars over a lifetime. Recently I saw firsthand the emotional toll of an HIV diagnosis when delivering the news to a 19-year-old man that his HIV test result was positive. His immediate response was a mix of shock, sadness and confusion. Though an honors student in college, following his HIV diagnosis he dropped out of classes, cut back hours from his job and sought counseling. He was also forced to cope with multiple issues related to his sexual orientation, family acceptance, finances, personal
options q
relationships, and thoughts of ending his life. Having received care and services from AIDS Project Rhode Island and The Miriam Hospital, he is now back on his feet with an undetectable viral load, re-enrolled in college and working regular hours. However, he still faces many potential struggles in his life ahead. Not to be overlooked is the potential stigma (and resulting shame) that he may have to confront as he matures and navigates the adult world, seeks a loving partner, establishes relationships with friends and neighbors and interacts with coworkers and bosses. Although manageable from a medical treatment perspective, HIV can still result in a lifetime of silent suffering for those living with the virus. With a doubling of new HIV infections among gay/bisexual Rhode Island men from 2001 through 2011 (31 to 62 cases per year), HIV continues to be a health crisis for gay/bisexual men in the state. If you want to be part of the movement to end HIV in Rhode Island, please contact me at Thomas@aidsprojectri. org.
december
2013/january
2014
q
21
SAGE/RI
Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders Sally Ann Hay
We Are Growing!
A big shout-out to all who responded to the first wave of our Membership Drive; as Options was going to press, we counted nearly 60 paid members. Our goal is 100 by the end of the year – if you haven’t already joined, it’s not too late to help us meet our goal! Your membership strengthens our voice as we advocate for LGBT seniors, particularly in health care and educational settings. It is so easy. If you are already on our email list, you can respond to the appeal that will have arrived in your inbox recently. You can also request an application by emailing, writing or calling us (contact information below.) And you can simply send us a note with your name, mailing address, email address, phone number and payment to SAGE/RI at the address below. Our annual dues are low (Individual: $15; Couple: $25 , Senior: $10), and your support is vital. Thank you!
Expanding Our Resources
Thanks to a generous donor, SAGE/ RI was able to purchase its own copy of the documentary, Gen Silent. This powerful and widely acclaimed film (which some of you saw with us in mid-September) follows the lives of six LGBT elders in the Boston area.
We watch as their medical issues land them in the midst of today’s health care system, and they face the dilemma of being out or returning to the closet, and the ensuing ramifications. Among LGBT elders, Gen Silent is seen as an accurate (and, at times, disturbing) reflection of what lies ahead for many of us. Because of its credibility, it is also a potent training tool for health care and other professionals who are working (sometimes without awareness) with LGBT elders. Having our own copy will be a great asset to our education and training efforts.
Greater Impact
In November, SAGE/RI Advisory Committee member Bob Desrosiers made a presentation on the older lesbian health care survey we did last year at the Gerontological Society of America in New Orleans. We are delighted the survey is getting national attention. As you may have read in an earlier Options, Bob is in the beginning stages of designing a parallel survey to
Welcoming LGBT professionals and their friends
A membership organization focused on: • Shared Member Contact Information • Professional Networking • Philanthropic Causes • Member Benefits
look at older gay men’s health care in RI. On the local scene, SAGE/RI has recently made presentations as well. In October, we presented to Professor Ethan Adler’s class on Society and Aging at Rhode Island College. The students, many of whom plan to go into health care, were open and interested to hear about the unique issues faced by LGBT elders and how they can be more culturally attuned to their future patients and clients. In November, a SAGE panel met with students of Dr. Tim Empkie’s class on “LGBT Through the Ages” at the Brown University Medical School. Again, we found the students to be eager and open to learning more about this often overlooked cultural group. Hats off to Belle Pellegrino, John Blakeslee, Bhikhaji Maneckji, Monique Paul and Judy Scarfpin! Their presentation was a great reminder of how effective it can be to hear firsthand from older members of the LGBT community – to hear their stories and understand how the past impacts us today and in the future. To finish up the month of November, we hosted a focus group on LGBT senior housing as part of the statewide initiative, Rhode Map RI. We are very pleased to have been invited in this effort to develop a plan for RI that strives to bring equity and sustainability to all of RI’s many, diverse, communities.
Please Join Us as a Volunteer • Advertiser • Writer 724-LGBT • info@optionsri.org
For more information, please contact:
options q
Phil Laffey at 401-727-4100, visit RI AGP on Facebook or email us at info@riagp.com
december 2013/january 2014
q 22
Stay Tuned
We are working on our next membership event – we’re hoping to co-host a holiday event with Youth Pride, Inc. in December or January. We’ll be announcing details via our email list, Facebook and the RI LGBT listserv; so keep your eyes open! SAGE/RI (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders) addresses issues of concern to LGBT elders and is an organization of diverse people of all ages. For information on programs or to join SAGE/RI, drop us a line at sageriinfo@gmail.com; leave us a message at 401-528-3259; write to us at 235 Promenade St., Suite 500, Box 18, Providence, RI, 02908; or find us on Facebook at SAGE/Rhode Island.
Youth Pride, Inc. Kerri Kanelos
Thank You!
Our annual fundraising event on November 1 raised over $26,000 for Youth Pride, Inc! There are so many people who make this annual event a success—committee members, sponsors, donors, board members, attendees, etc. Thanks to everyone for saying “I DO! Support YPI.”
Dragstravaganza
The Pathfinders Foundation is excited to announce their first annual Dragstravaganza Fashion Show event to benefit YPI and the Rhode Island LGBTQ Center. The event will be held on Saturday, January 18, 6:30 p.m. at Generations Comprehensive Health Center in Smithfield, RI. Hosted by JuJuBee of RuPaul’s Drag Race, the event will include special fashions created by Jon Joseph Peters (renowned fashion designer who got his start on Project Runway), drag performances, a silent auction, food and cash bar. Please visit www. pathfindersri.org/News.htm for more information or to purchase tickets.
Holiday Needs
Every year we hold a Yankee Swap in December, so each YPI participant goes home with a holiday gift. Youth are encouraged to bring a small gift to swap, but some are not financially able to do so. We would greatly appreciate donated gifts (lotion or other hygiene products, candy, card games, candles, funky socks, costume jewelry, RIPTA tickets, gift cards in small denominations, etc.) for youth who cannot afford to bring one. Please call us (421-5626) if you are willing to donate.
GREGORY’S OPTICAL
263 Wickenden Street • Providence • 401-421-4770
Face A Face L.A. Eyeworks Silhouette Olivier Peoples Alain Mikli Theo La Font
Hours: Mon-Fri 10-6 Sat. 10-4 Closed Sunday
options q
december
2013/january
2014
q
23
AIDS Care Ocean State Christopher Dalpe
The Season of Giving
It’s that time of year again! As you prepare for the coming winter months and holiday season, consider supporting one of the many annual holiday campaigns that provide gifts, heat, clothing and other items to the clients of AIDS Care Ocean State. The Adopt-a-Family Campaign is an easy way to support the clients of ACOS during the holiday season. For just $50, a family is provided with gifts, heat for their homes, and warm clothing. Stephen Hartley, Development Director at ACOS believes the Adopt-a-Family Campaign is one of the best ways to contribute. Donating is simple, just visit our website at aidscareos.org and click the “Help Today” button. Help make this holiday season brighter for the children of ACOS by participating in Michael Slade’s Annual Toy Drive. Just bring an unwrapped toy or Target gift card to The Stable, 125 Washington St., Providence on December 8 between 12-8 p.m. Your donated toys, clothing and books will be delivered to ACOS families and their children for the holidays. ACOS also launches Giving Trees to support their clients for
options q
the holidays. Giving Trees are a great way for offices and local businesses to get involved. Each business is given a tree that is decorated with ornaments. Each ornament represents a gift one our clients wishes for the holidays. Clients, customers, and co-workers are invited to take an ornament and replace it with a gift. ACOS then wraps and delivers the gifts to their clients. Visit our website to find an ACOS Giving Tree near you or to learn how to get one in your office or business. Remember, your actions make the difference. For more information on any of our holiday events please visit our website at aidscareos.org or contact Stephen Hartley at 521-3603 or info@aidscareos.org. On behalf of the entire ACOS staff, we wish everyone a safe, happy, and healthy holiday season.
Legends! 2014 Calendar Has Arrived
For those of you who have been impatiently waiting for the release of the new Legends! calendar, your wait is over! The 2014 Calendar was officially released on Sunday, November 3 at the Colosseum in Providence. The party included a fabulous drag show provided by the lovely Legends! ladies,
december 2013/january 2014
q 24
and an autographed signing by all the women featured in the calendar. This year, the Legends! Ladies take the art world by storm, reinventing some of the most famous pieces of art in history. It’s a masterpiece. Legends! 2014 Calendars are now available for purchase online at www.aidscareos.org. For only $15.00 you can look at the lovely Legends! ladies all year round, and all proceeds from sales of the calendar support ACOS. They make great gift ideas for the holidays!
ArtBeat 2013 A Big Success
AIDS Care Ocean State is pleased to announce that our 17th Annual ArtBeat auction raised $47,000 to support the programs and services we provide to our clients. Held on Friday, October 25 at the Providence Biltmore Hotel, the evening featured a silent and live auction. Guests enjoyed live music and a light dinner in an elegant atmosphere surrounded by inspiring works of art. Silent auction items ranged from art, jewelry, and ceramics to gift certificates and gift baskets from local Rhode Island vendors. Artbeat 2013 was presented by Sephora and major sponsors Bank RI, Barbara Sokoloff and Dr. Herbert Rakatansky, Dr. Diane Siedlecki and Ken Kelly and Jay Glasson Esq.
like
options on q NEWSMAGAZINE
facebook Options is Thankful for
Our live auction featured spectacular items from prominent artists Boris Bally, Liza Barlett, Michael Bykovski, Paul Carpentier, Dennis Coelho, Ken Connell, David Dadekian, Sandra DeSano, Felix Diclo, John Fazzino, Mark Freedman, Brian Martin, Mac MacDougall, Jay MacKay, Joan McGonaghy, Arthur Moore, Jean Sturim, Steven Weinberg and Brian Xavier. We would like to thank our featured artist, Jonathan Luke O’Brien, for his generous donations, and featured designer Jonathan Joseph Peters for donating a one-of-a-kind custom design apparel experience. We are grateful to the Providence Biltmore Hotel, Kim Zandy from 92 PRO FM, our dedicated and passionate volunteers, and everyone else who helped make this year’s ArtBeat such a success. The support ACOS receives enriches the lives of those most affected by HIV/AIDS throughout the state, and each year ACOS has grown because of YOUR support and dedication to the community. Thank you.
options q
december
2013/january
2014
q
25
Resources Help us help you: If you come across a resource listing that is incorrect or needs updating, please let us know! Drop a line to mshays@verizon.net. NOTE: All phone numbers are in the 401 area code unless otherwise indicated.
Addiction Support Groups AA: Brothers in Sobriety, Community Church of Prov., Wayland & Lloyd Aves., Prov., 751-9328; Sat., 7:30-8:30 p.m.; Central Services, info on all groups, 438-8860; RI LGBT Group, Anchor Recovery Center, 249 Main St., Pawtucket, Tues. 7 p.m.; Suburban Gay & Lesbian, Fatima Shrine, Rt. 126, Holliston, MA, Thurs. 8-9:30 p.m. Alcohol/Drug Helpline. RI Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependence, 24-hr., (866) 252-3784. Gay Al-Anon: Tues. 7:30 p.m., Congregational Church, 71 Park Place, Pawtucket, 726-2800.
AIDS/Health Resources ACT-UP (AIDS Coalition To Unleash Power), a group of individuals united in anger, committed to ending AIDS pandemic through direct action. Call Scott 640-3108. info@actupri.org. Donations welcome!
nutrition support, FACTS Nursery, housing for PWAs, referrals, advocacy, ADa.m.S Clinic for adolescents, street outreach, ENCORE, education, HIV+ support groups. Sunrise Community Housing for people with HIV/AIDS. 18 Parkis Ave., Prov. 02907. 521-3603; www.aidscareos. org. AIDS Project RI Division of Family Service of RI: Case mgmt., buddies, COBRA & dental services, emergency fund, mental health counseling, nutrition support, assessment & referral, wellness prog., advocacy, strength training. Prevention Ed. 404 Wickenden St., Providence: 831-5522. AIDS Quilt RI: Displays local AIDS Memorial Quilt panels; panel-making programs, including Anna’s Workshop, HIV/AIDS education for young people; PO Box 2591, Newport, RI 02840; 4344880; www.aidsquiltri.org; admin@aidsquiltri. org; annasworkshop@aidsquiltri.org.
Afia Center for Health & Wholeness: socializing with other HIV+ individuals. Meals, food pantry, HIV support groups, recovery groups, recreational and social activities. Wed & Thurs, noon to 4 p.m., at Matthewson St. Church, 134 Matthewson St., Prov. Sponsored by AIDS Project RI; free to clients. Gordon Cooper, 331-1350 Ext. 3268 or coopergo@familyserviceofri.org.
Brown Univ. AIDS Program (BRUNAP): clinical trials, public policy, research; lectures/conferences, patient/community education. Bradford Briggs, 863-6790. brunap@brown.edu; www.brown. edu/brunap.
AGAPE/Family Resources Community Action. Case management, support, personal care items for people living with HIV/AIDS in Northern Rhode Island. 245 Main St., Woonsocket, RI 02895. 235-6092. lcohen@famresri.org.
Comprehensive Community Action Programs (CCAP) Medical, mental health, dental, social services. 311 Doric Ave., Cranston. 467-9610. Also Coventry and Warwick. Sarah Bowman, LGBT Outreach.
AIDS Action Hotline: (800) 235-2331, MA only.
Crossroads RI Health Care Services: Free, confidential, anonymous HIV counseling & testing for homeless/at risk: Mon & Wed, 1-3 p.m., call
AIDS Care Ocean State (557 Broad St., Providence): case mgmt., emergency funds, mental health &
Chiropractic Services: Free for unemployed HIV+ patients, Ronald P. Marsh, DC., 11 King Charles Dr., Portsmouth, RI; 683-1941.
Elizabeth A. Coderre, LMHC Board Certified Diplomate in Professional Counseling
Gloria, 521-2255, Ext. 325. FACTS (Family AIDS Center for Treatment & Support): See AIDS Care Ocean State. Gabriel Care, LLC: Nursing/social worker case mgmt. & financial compensation for assistance and supervision for those living with HIV. MA Health funded for MA residents. Michael (508) 678-1002. HIV antibody testing, Anonymous: R.I. Dept. of Health, Prov., Newport and other locations, Free or sliding scale, call 222-2320. Home and Hospice Care of RI: Medical care mgmt. for HIV/AIDS. 24-hr. nursing staff for treatment. 782-0725. Bereavement Groups: John Charette, 727-7079. HPV study for gay/bi men ages 18 -- 26. Receive free HPV vaccine and HIV testing. Must be HIVnegative. Call Gail at Miriam Hospital (7934335) or Email gyates@lifespan.org. House of Compassion: HIV/AIDS housing. 2510 Mendon Rd., Cumberland. 658-3992. Jewish AIDS Task Force: Programs for HIV/AIDS and Jewish communities. 421-4111, ext. 172. LGBT Caregiver Online Support Group for LGBTs caring for someone with chronic health problems, visit www.caregiver.org and click on groups. Luis E. Martinez House CHS, Inc.: Supportive, permanent housing for 10 adults living with HIV/ AIDS and/or substance abuse. New Bedford, MA. Contact Joe Taylor (508) 984-7514. Partners in Learning About AIDS (PL-AIDS) Outreach to minorities, women of color, and LGBT community at clubs and other locations, and our
Emmanuel Episcopal Church An open, welcoming and affirming community
Join us at one of our Sunday services! 8:00am/9:30am/5:00pm
Psychotherapy with Individuals, Couples and Groups Most Insurances Accepted
194 Waterman Street Providence, RI 02906
options q
401-487-0024 401-765-4519
120 Nate Whipple Hwy Cumberland, RI 02864 - 401.658.1506 - www.emmanuelri.org
december 2013/january 2014
q 26
No. Providence office, providing free condoms and information about STIs and post-exposure prophylaxis for HIV. www.plaidsproject.org or www.pl-aids.org. Email info@plaidsproject.org. 305-3993.
Bobby’s Place, 62 Weir St., Taunton, MA (508) 8249997. Dancing, pool, video lounge, karaoke. Mon.-Thurs. 5 p.m.- 1 a.m.; Fri. 5 p.m.-2 a.m.; Sat. 2 p.m.-2 a.m.; Sun. 2 p.m.-1 a.m. www.BobbysPlaceMA.com.
Project ACT: Free Anonymous HIV Counseling and Testing. Walk-in Hours: Mondays 9 a.m.-4 p.m. and 5-7 p.m. Tuesdays and Thursdays 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Other hours by appointment only. 1 Washington St., Taunton, MA (508) 977-8146
Brooklyn Coffee Tea House: 209 Douglas Ave., Prov. 575-2284. Special events space. Open mike First & Third Sat. of each month. Film screenings and other public/private events. See us on Facebook and at www.BrooklynCoffeeTeaHouse.com.
Project Empower: Wellness prog. for gay, bi, questioning men in So. Coast MA. Info on HIV/ STD test sites & safe sex; social/support groups, therapists & health care referrals; & more. Community Counseling of Bristol Co., MA. (508) 828-6692 or www.projectempower.com.
Club Body Center: 257 Weybosset St., Prov. 2740298 www.clubbodycenter.com. Gay men’s sauna. Membership required. One-day pass available. Open 24 hours daily.
Project Weber: Services for male sex workers. Dropin center, support groups, HIV and Hep C testing, clean needles, more. www.facebook.com/ projectweber, or www.projectweber.org
Deville’s: 345 South Water St., Prov. Lesbian, gay, straight, it’s all good. 383-8883, www.devillescafe.com.
SSTAR (Stanley St. Treatment & Resources): counseling, drug treatment, detox, domestic violence programs; Free, confidential HIV, HEP C (HCV) & STD testing, education, case mgmt. and support. 386 Stanley St., Fall River, MA 02720. (508) 679-5222. Project Aware (HIV/ HCV) (800) 937-3610, Family Healthcare center (508) 675-1054; www.sstar.org. Tranquil Mind & Wellness: Counseling, alternative healing, yoga, Pilates, meditation and more. 105 Charles Eldridge Dr, Lakeville, MA. (508) 9471683. Thundermist Health Assoc.: 450 Clinton St. Woonsocket, provides HIV/AIDS services including: medical care & treatment by an HIV specialist, dental care, behavioral health counseling, nutritional assessment & counseling, pharmacy consultation, free, confidential HIV testing. Philip Kane 767-4100 Ext. 3516.
Be There and Be Queer! The Alley Cat/Dark Lady: 17 Snow St. Prov. 2730951 Downtown neighborhood bars. Sun.-Thur. 3 p.m.-1 a.m., Fri.-Sat. 3 p.m.-2 a.m. http:// thealleycat.net.
For a
FREE
subscription,
write to: Options
P.O. Box 6406, Providence, RI 02940
or visit www.optionsri.org contributions gaily accepted Options Read by the Rhode Island LGBT community since 1982. options q
Club Gallery, 681 Valley Street., Providence. DJ, dancing.
Ego, Providence’s newest Nightlife Performance/ Event Space. Thurs. 9 p.m. -- 1 a.m., Sat. 9 p.m. -- 3 a.m. 73 Richmond St, Providence. 3831208. Girlspot at Loft 71, 71 Richmond St., Providence. Saturday nights at 8:00. www.girlspotri.com Providence Eagle: 198 Union St., Prov. 421-1447. Leather, Levi, bear cruise bar. Sun-Thurs 3 p.m.1 a.m., Fri, Sat 3 p.m.-2 a.m. Mega-Plex and Hush Providence: 257 Allens Ave., Prov. www.themega-plex.com. Gay men’s bathhouse. Open 24 hours daily. Membership required. One day pass available. The Stable: 125 Washington St., Prov. 272-6950. Newly renovated downtown bar. Pool table. Sun - Thurs noon - 1 a.m.; Fri - Sat noon - 2 a.m. Tommy’s Lounge Gay/Lesbian Night each Friday (21-plus) Doors open 8 p.m. Music from 80’s, 90’s and today’s hits on the video screen. $5.00 cover. 99 India Street, Pawtucket RI 02860 T.W.I.S.T. Program Coffee Night: Coffee, light snacks served every Thursday, 7 – 9 p.m. 1287 Acushnet Ave., New Bedford. 508-672-0378. Union: 200 Union St. Prov. 831-5366. Video lounge, live entertainment. Sun. 6 p.m.-1 a.m., Mon.Thur. 3 p.m.-1 a.m., Fri.-Sat. 6 p.m.-2 a.m.
Information/Education Feminist Voices: women’s chorus. www.feministvoices.com. Fenway Gay and Lesbian Helpline: support, info & referrals for GLBT community from Fenway Community Health Ctr., Boston; (617) 2679001 or 888-340-4528, 6-11 p.m. seven days a week. GLBT National Help Center Hotline. Local resources nationwide provided by social services agency. 888-843-4564. www.GLBTNationalHelpcenter. org.
december
2013/january
2014
NewportOut.com: LGBT Web site for Newport, RI. RILGBT-NEWS: Low-volume email distribution list for LGBT & AIDS news from RI. Not a discussion list. To subscribe: tinawood@cox.net. United Way of RI Referral Line: 2-1-1 Youth Pride, Inc. HIV Peer Educators: discussion, games, thought-provoking and empowerment activities. Led by trained youth educators. Free. 421-5626.
Political & Legal Groups American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU): 831-7171; 128 Dorrance St., Suite 220, Prov., RI 02903. Amnesty International OUTfront: Program to campaign globally for LGBTIQ human rights. Cvohs18904@yahoo.com or 212-807-8400. Visit www.amnestyusa.org/Our Issues/LGBT Human Rights. BIGFLAG (Boston Immigration Group for Lesbians And Gays): social/support for LGBTs affected by immigration discrimination. (617) 499-9433. Brown University Queer Alliance: student advocacy and support organization. 683-3062. Email: queer@brown.edu Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD): LGBT/HIV legal info hotline, 1:30-4:30 p.m. weekdays, (800) 455-GLAD. www.GLAD.org; 30 Winter St., Ste 800, Boston, MA 02108. Green Party of RI: PO Box 1151, Prov., RI 02901; 490-7602. Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund: 120 Wall St., Suite 1500, NY, NY 10005; (212) 809-8585, Fax: (212) 809-0055. Lawyers for Equality and Diversity (LEAD): Advocates for lgbt causes. lawyersforequality@gmail. com Marriage Equality RI: info@marriageequalityri.org The Next Thing (TNT): political and support group for queer people of color located at Brown University. Contact the Brown Queer Alliance, 8633062. Rhode Islanders United for Marriage: 274-1323. www.RIUnitedforMarriage.org. RI Commission on Prejudice and Bias: hate crime awareness training program www.hatecrimeri. org. RI Human Rights Commission: Anti-discrimination law enforcement agency with jurisdiction in employment, housing, public accommodations and credit, 180 Westminster St., 3rd floor Prov. Phone: 222-2662. Fax: 222-2616, TDD: 2222664. RI Patient Advocacy Coalition: legalization of marijuana use for medical purposes. www.RIpatients. org. RI Socialist Action: adgagneri@gmail.com. 9525385. Español: walsil@cox.net. 351-3414
q
27
Servicemembers Legal Defense Network: Assisting active duty service members affected by the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. PO Box 65301, Wash., DC, 20035; (202) 328-3244, ext. 100, sldn@sldn.org, www.sldn.org. Straight But Not Narrow Coalition: Straight support for LGBT, PO Box 2591, Newport, RI 02840; 847-7637.
Religious Resources All Saints’ Memorial Church, 674 Westminster St., Providence. 751-1747 www.allsaintsmemorial. org. asmcri@verizon.net Amicable Congregational Church (UCC), 3736 Main Rd., Tiverton. Open & Affirming. Sunday worship 10:00 a.m. Pastor William Sterrett, 6244611. Email amicablechurch@aol.com Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists, email: mail@WABaptists.org. Barrington Congregational Church (UCC) “the white church”, 461 Old County Rd., Barrington. 246-0111.www.bccucc.org Bell Street Chapel (Unitarian Universalist), A Welcoming congregation: 5 Bell St., Prov., Rev. Ann Willever. 273-5678, www.bellstreetchapel.org. Beneficent Congregational Church (UCC), in the heart of Providence at 300 Weybosset St. An Open & Affirming congregation since 2001. Visit us Sundays at 10 a.m. or on the Web at www. beneficentchurch.org. Co-Pastors Todd & Nicole Yonkman, 331-9844. Berean Baptist Church, a safe and welcoming place for all God’s children. 474 Chapel St., Harrisville, RI. www.bereanri.org; bereanbaptist@verizon.net. 568-5411. Worship 10 a.m. Sundays. Calvary Episcopal Church, Open and welcoming. 158 Broad St., Burrilville, RI. 568-3888. www. calvaryepiscopal.us.email, calvary125@aol.com. Calvary United Methodist Church of Middletown, 200 Turner Rd., Middletown, RI 02842. 8476181. Ask Amy about LGBTQ Early Dementia support group. Central Congregational Church (UCC), where we believe God is still speaking. Services Sunday, 10:30 a.m. An Opening & Affirming Congregation. 296 Angell St., East Side of Providence. 331-1960. www.centralchurch.us. Channing Memorial Church, Unitarian Universalist, A Welcoming Congregation, 135 Pelham St., Newport. Call 846-0643 or visit www.channingchurch.org. Charter Oak Grove ADF, an open and welcoming congregation of neopagan druids in CT. www. charteroakadf.org. Email charteroakadf@gmail. com. Christ Church in Lonsdale (Episcopal), 1643 Lonsdale Ave., Lincoln. Services 8 and 10:30 a.m. www.christchurchlincoln.org. 725-1920.
options q
Church of the Epiphany, 1336 Pawtucket Ave., Rumford. 434-5012. A diverse Open & Affirming Episcopal congregation. www.epiphanyep. org Church of the Holy Paraclete, Independent Old Catholic; Mass every Sunday at 6 p.m. 155 Douglas Ave., Providence. http://holyparaclete. org; Fr. Jakob Lazarus 218-0706. Edgewood Congregational Church (UCC) Open & Affirming, 1788 Broad St., Cranston. 461-1344. www.edgewoodchurchri.org. Emmanuel Episcopal Church. 120 Nate Whipple Highway, Cumberland RI 02864. 658-1506. First Congregational Church in Bristol, an Open and Affirming Congregation. 281 High Street, Bristol. Pastor Dan Randall, 253-7288. First Unitarian Church. A Welcoming congregation at One Benevolent St., Prov.; 421-7970. Services Sunday 10:30 a.m. First Unitarian Church. 71 8th St., New Bedford, MA 02740. (508) 994-9686. First Universalist Society, Franklin, MA: UU. Welcoming congregation. Same-gender weddings. 262 Chestnut St. (508) 528-5348. www.fusf.org. Email fusf@verizon.net Foxboro Universalist Church, Unitarian Universalist Association. 6 Bird St., Foxboro, MA 02035. 508-543-4002. Welcoming congregation, marriage ceremonies. www.uufoxborough.org Grace Episcopal Church in Providence, 175 Mathewson Street, Providence. 331-3225. Immanuel Lutheran Church: A Reconciling in Christ congregation, 647 N. Main St., Attleboro, MA 02703. Pastor Sandra Demmler Damico (508) 222-2898, www.immanuellc.org. Interweave at Channing UU Church in Newport, 135 Pelham St. A membership organization for the spiritual, political and social well-being of LGBTQ persons -- and their allies -- confronting oppression. 846-0643. Mathewson St. Church (United Methodist), 134 Mathewson St., Prov., 331-8900. Meditation: Gay Men’s Meditation Experience. Relax and connect. Third Tues. of each month in Cranston, 7 -- 8 p.m. Tim, 944-0723. Fee applies. Mercy of God Community: Christian, inclusive religious order. If you feel called, please visit our Web site: www.mgc.org. Murray Unitarian Universalist Church, 505 N. Main St., Attleboro, MA, 02702 Rev. Sandra D. FitzHenry. Marriage & commitment ceremonies for all. (508) 222-0505 www.murrayuuchurch.org Newman Congregational Church, Open & Affirming. 100 Newman Ave., Rumford, RI. 43114742. Newport Congregational Church: UCC. Rev. Hayes
december 2013/january 2014
& Rev. Baker. Open & Affirming. 73 Pelham St., Newport. 849-2238 or nccucc@newportcongregationalchurch.org. Park Place Congregational Church, 71 Park Pl., Pawtucket, 726-2800. The Pub Church: A church that meets in a pub! Saturdays, 5 p.m. at The Dugout, 722 Commonwealth Ave. Boston. Open & Affirming. Email thepubchurch@gmail.com. Location may change. Pilgrim Lutheran Church, an inclusive congregation: 1817 Warwick Ave., Warwick. 739-2937 Pilgrim United Church of Christ. Open and affirming. 635 Purchase St., New Bedford. 508-9975684. Riverside Church (U.C.C.) 15 Oak Ave., Riverside, RI. 433-2039. www.rcc-ucc.com St. Augustine’s Church and Episcopal Center at URI: 35 Lower College Rd., Kingston. 783-2153 www.staugustineURI.com. St. Francis City Ministry at the Church of St. Mary, 535 Broadway, Prov. Office of LGBT Outreach 353-1422 St. James Church: Episcopal, 474 Fruit Hill Ave., No. Prov. 353-2079. St. Martin’s Episcopal Church, 50 Orchard St. East side of Prov., 751-2141 St. Martin’s Episcopal Church: County & River Sts., New Bedford, MA. (508) 994-8972, stmartins1887@aol.com. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, 50 Park Place, Pawtucket. 728-4300. www.stpaulspawtucket.org St. Paul’s Church, a Welcoming Episcopal church. 2679 E. Main St., Portsmouth. 862-1466. www. stpaulsportsmouthri.org St. Peter & St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church: 25 Pomona Ave., Prov.; 272-9649. Email.stpanda25@ verizon.net. www.stpetersandstandrews.org. Saint Therese Old Catholic Church, Open & Affirming, Sunday Mass at 10:30 p.m. at 134 Mathewson St., Providence. Fr. David Martins, 263-4296. www.saintthereseocc.org Second Congregational Church of Attleboro (UCC) Open & Affirming. 50 Park Street, Attleboro, MA. Sunday worship 10 a.m. (508) 222-4677, www.attleborosecondchurch.org Seekonk Congregational Church: 600 Fall River Ave., Seekonk, MA. 02771, (508) 336-9355, Rev. Joy Utter, www.scc-ucc.com. Temple Agudas Achim: GLBT-friendly, Reconstructionist cong. Rabbi Elyse Wechterman. 901 No. Main St., Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-2243 or www.agudasma.org. Temple Beth-El: GLBT-welcoming. Rabbi Sarah E. Mack. 70 Orchard Ave., Prov., RI 02906. 3316070
q 28
Temple Emanu-El, Sessions St. & Morris Ave., Providence. A welcoming Conservative congregation. Rabbi Wayne Franklin, 331-1616. www.teprov. org Temple Habonim: a warm, Welcoming Reform congregation. Rabbi Andrew Klein, 165 New Meadow Rd., Barrington, 245-6536. www.templehabonim.org. Temple Sinai: A Welcoming Reform Temple. Rabbi Peter Stein, 30 Hagen Ave., Cranston, RI. 9428350. www.TempleSinairi.org. Unitarian Society of Fairhaven (MA): 102 Green St., Fairhaven, MA 02719; (508) 992-7081. Unitarian Universalist Congregation of So. County: 27 North Rd., Peace Dale, RI; 783-4170 or Val 789-7282. www.uusouthcountyri.org. United Church of Christ: Coalition for LGBT Concerns. 13 Steven Circle, S. Kingstown, RI 02883, Ray Bradley at 782-3871. Westminster Unitarian/Universalist Church, a UUA Welcoming Congregation. 119 Kenyon Avenue, East Greenwich, RI 02818. 884-5933. LGBT weddings welcome.
Social Organizations Atheists/Agnostics: RI Atheist Society – “Working to keep Church and State separate” Welcoming all. Meets 3rd Monday of the month at an area restaurant for lively discussions among like-minded people. For info: www.RIatheist.net Bisexual Resource Center: 29 Stanhope St., Boston, (617) 424-9595 or www.biresource.net. Biversity Boston: Mixed-sex social network. Bimonthly brunches and other social events. http:// biversity.org. Boston Bisexual Women’s Network: Social activities including monthly brunches, coming out groups, and quarterly newsletter “Bi Woman.” Subscribe at www.biwomenboston.org. Bears Ocean State (BOS): Informal e-group for gay & bisexual bear-identified and -affiliated men for friendly companionship. All welcome. http:// groups.yahoo.com/group/bearsoceanstate or bearsoceanstate-subscribe@yahoogroups.com. Age-restricted. Bridgewater State College GLBT Alumni Group: email Kenneth Hayes (‘91) khayesbbc@msn.com or visit www.bridgew.edu. Cape and Islands Gay & Straight Youth Alliance (CIGYA): (508) 778-7744. CORISMA: Gay and lesbian couples of RI and Southeast MA. Potluck get-togethers for couples only. For info or to be added to email list write: corismainfo@comcast.net. www.corismagroup. org Defenders/Providence: Leather/Levi club, c/o PO Box 41153, Prov., RI 02940. Third Sun at 6 p.m. Fall River’s Rainbow Girls: private, moderated wel-
options q
coming group for women in the Fall River Area. groups.yahoo.com/group/ Fall_River_Rainbow_ Grrls. Gay Lesbian Alliance of Newport County Etc. (GLANCE): Social and entertainment events. Email glance1234@hotmail.com. Gay Men’s Meditation Group, third Thursday each month, 6:30 -- 7:30 p.m. Tim, 225-8149. Fee applies. Imperial Court of RI at Prov: Male, female, drag king & queen performers raise funds for local charities. Meetings 1st Mon. of month, at RI Pride Office, 1005 Main St., Pawtucket. All welcome. PO Box 6583, Prov., RI 02904;www.icriprov.org. Lesbian Writers Group, Rochambeau Library, Hope St., Providence. Mondays 7 -- 8:30 p.m. Writing exercises, support. No critiquing or workshopping. Free. Russian or Computer Room. Men’s Card Group: E-mail johninprov@gmail.com or call John 261-9715. Men’s Gay Camping: In RI, CT, MA. Gatherings organized for tents to RVs during Spring, Summer and Fall. www.webspawner.com/users/gaycamping/index.html or call 277-0075 or email gaycamping@gmx.com. Mixed Borders Gardening Group: Gardening and more! Monthly meetings, all welcome! For more information: www.MixedBorders.com or E-Mail Mixedborders@cox.net Opera Club: last Sunday of each month at 1:00 p.m. Enjoy hearing and attending. Email Dave at BrettCornellpi4@aol.com Pawtuxet Pride: GLBTQ folks & friends in Pawtuxet Village (Cranston and beyond). All welcome. Call Ed at 345-1264 or email EDZL@aol.com. Providence Gay Men’s Chorus: Mon, 7-9:30 p.m., Beneficent Church, 300 Weybosset St, Prov.. New season rehearsals begin in January and August. Singers and nonsinging volunteers welcome. www.provgmc.org. Queer Book Club. Meets 3rd Wednesday 7 p.m. at Books on the Square, 471 Angell St., Providence. Email queerbookclub@gmail.com. Raging Grannies: Women of “a certain age” working toward a more peaceful, equitable society with song, humor & passion. Will sing for rallies & events. Email jlglass53@aol.com. RI Association of Gay Professionals. Professional networking and philanthropy. gayprofessionalnetworkofri@gmail.com. 453-9276 RI Lesbian Social Club: social gatherings for women. heylari@yahoo.com or call 272-2962. RI Parents Pride: Gay parents socializing together with their children. Contact Melanie, 464-2288 or saphicangel120@yahoo.com RI Pride: Parade & Festival, year-round events; Box 1082, Prov. RI 02901, info@PrideRI.com; www.
december
2013/january
2014
PrideRI.com. Office at 1005 Main St. #1105, Pawtucket. 467-2130 RI Prime Timers. Social and networking group for gay and bisexual men 40 and older. Meets 2nd Sundays. www.riprimetimers.org or call Steve at 996-3010. RI Skeptics Society. Yearning to talk with someone rational? Meetings 4th Saturday at a Seekonk restaurant for refreshing discussion. http://skeptics. meetup.com/133/ RI Women’s Association: Lesbian social group; age 21+; dances/events. www.RIWA.net SAGE/RI (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders) Advocacy, education and social events for LGBTQ seniors. Mail address 235 Promenade St., Suite 500, Box 18, Providence RI 02908. sageriinfo@gmail.com, 528-3259. Facebook: “Sage/ Rhode Island.” SEMASSMEN: Social group for GBQ men of S.E. Mass and RI to foster strong friendships.Semassmen-subscribe@yahoo groups.com or email moderator rlevass @yahoo.com. Trans Queer RI: friendship, fun activities, and support for transgender, queer & like-minded people. Gatherings third Sunday of each month. Email trans.queer.ri@gmail.com. T.W.I.S.T. Project: Program for gay and bisexual men in Fall River/New Bedford area. Drop-in center, referrals, condom distribution, social groups. Coffee night Thursdays 7 – 9 p.m. (508) 672-0378; www.myspace.com/twistprogram. UNISONG: For unity through song. Non-performance monthly singing session. www.unisong. net or jlglass53@aol.com WomenRIsing. Feminist Chorus. Director Nancy Rosenberg. www.womenrisingchorus.org. Email: contact@womenrisingchorus.org. Yankee Lambda Car Club: Regional club for GLBT people interested in vintage & specialty cars. www.yankeelcc.com, sisherwood@aol.com.
Sports PRIDESPORTSBOSTON: Network of twenty-plus gay sports leagues/teams in Boston area: www. pridesportsboston.com 617-937-5858 Gay sports in Boston and beyond: www.gaysports. com. Email info@gaysports.com. BASKETBALL: Boston Gay Basketball League: www.bgbl.com or (617) 937-5858 Ext. 2. BOWLING: RI GALA: 6 p.m. Sun., East Prov. Lanes, Newport Ave., Bruce, 397-3803, or Bill, 828-5587 www.galabowling.com. Monday Night Women’s Bowling League, Pat 451-2188. Royal Court Bowling League: 9 p.m. Wed., Woonsocket Hill Bowl; 767-2110. Big Gay Al’s Duckpin bowling league: Tuesdays 6:30 p.m., Proceeds benefit AIDS causes. Town Hall Lanes, Johnston. www.BGALBowling.com.
q
29
Frank Ferri 831-6940. www.townhalllanes.com. BOWLING: BOSTON: Monday Night League, www.mnbl.net FLAG FOOTBALL: FLAG (For Lesbians and Gays) Football www.flagflagfootball.com, (617) 9375858 Ext. 4. FOOTBALL: Women’s professional team Northeastern Nitro. Members of the Women’s Football Alliance. Practices held in Bethel, CT. Contact Amy Manfred at amymanfred@yahoo.com or Carley Pesente at linebackergirl56@aol.com. RI/S.E. MA Flag Football: Sats. 10 a.m. All levels and genders. mbs1994ever@yahoo.com GOLF: Golf4All www.golf4all.net (617) 450-8682. HOCKEY: Boston Pride Hockey www.bostonpridehockey.org (617) 937-5858 Ext. 7. ICE HOCKEY for WOMEN: Gail Wickstrom email gwick@kersur.net. KICKBOXING or BOXING for WOMEN: 2725425. www.rondeauskickboxing.com MARTIAL ARTS: Main Street Martial Arts. Nonprofit, welcoming dojo and community center. Scholarships available. 1282 No. Main St., Providence. 274-7672. www.mainstma.org. OUTDOORS: Chiltern Mountain Club, New England’s LGBT outdoor recreation club. www.chiltern.org. Email events@chiltern.org. ROWING: Boston Gy Rowers: www.glrf.org RUGBY: Boston Ironsides Rugby Football Club. www.bostonironsidesrfc.org. RUNNING: Frontrunners Rhode Island: Brian 751-7643, bripm@cox.net. Frontrunners Boston www.frontrunnersboston.org SNOWBOARDING: OutRyders, www.outryders. org or email brian@outryders.org. SOCCER: Boston Strikers Soccer Club www.bostonstrikers.com (617) 937-5858 Ext. 9. SOFTBALL: Renaissance City Softball League. New players and boosters always welcome. 226-7771642 or rcsl_commish@cox.net. Visit www.providencesoftball.org Beantown Softball League: (617) 297-7490 www. beantownsoftball.com. Serving since 1978. SQUASH: Boston Boasts www.bostonboasts.com SWIMMING: LANES (Liquid Assets New England) www.swim-lanes.org; (617) 937-5858. For fitness and/or competition. TENNIS: TENNIS-4-All: www.tennis4all.org. VOLLEYBALL: Cambridge Boston Volleyball Assoc. www.GayVolleyball.net, (617) 633-2180
Ocean State Pride Volleyball League. Adult coed indoor league following USVBA rules. No tryouts. Kent County YMCA, 900 Centerville Rd., Warwick. Fee applies. Email ospvolleyball@ gmail.com.
options q
WRESTLING: East Coast Wrestling Club www. eastcoastwrestlingclub.org, email ecwc@juno. com, (401) 467-6737 or (617) 937-5858 Ext. 6
The Next Thing (TNT): Political & support group for queer people of color at Brown Univ. Call Brown Queer Alliance, 863-3062.
Students & Youth
University of RI Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, Queer & Questioning (LGBTIQ2) alumni association gsimonelli@advance.uri.edu. 874-5808.
Bristol Community College Gay/Straight Alliance (BCC/GSA); Steven Camara, Advisor (508) 678-2811 Ext. 2391, BCC-H202, 777 Elsbree St., Fall River, MA 02720. Brown University Queer Alliance: umbrella org. for groups. 863-3062. Email: queer@brown.edu Brown University Grad Student - Med Student - Staff LGBTQ Association: queer-med-gradmembers@queer.brown.edu Brown University Staff LGBTQ Association: call LGBT Resource Center: 863-3062 Brown University LGBTQ Resource Center: 8633062, e-mail lgbtq@brown.edu Bryant Pride: Bryant College Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual Student Association. 232-6389. CCRI Triangle Alliance: Student & staff GLBTQ group meets on Flanagan and Liston campuses. 455-6065. www.ccri.cc.ri.edu/triangle. COLAGE. Support and social activities for children of LGBT Parents: Meets third Saturday of the month, 10:30 -- 12 at Gordon School, E. Providence. Coordinator Veronica Jutras (vjutras5@ gmail.com) www.colage.org/colage-chapter/ colage-rhode-island-chapter/ Fitchburg State College GLBT Alliance: Social support group for students. One-in-Ten and Friends, 978-665-3164, sfranzemn@fsc.edu. Peer Listening Line/Fenway Community Health Ctr.: Boston. Youth-staffed hotline for GLBT youth; support, info and referrals. (617) 2672535 or (800)-399-PEER, 5-10 p.m. all week. Roger Williams University LGBTQ & Allies group: S.A.F.E (Sexual Advocacy for Everyone): Weekly meetings in Intercultural Center; speakers, social and awareness events; Pride Week in April. Email: saferwu03@gmail.com. Facebook: S.A.F.E. Salve Regina University Gay Straight Lesbian Bisexual Alliance (GSLBA), 100 Ochre Point Ave., Newport. Sister Johnelle, Lucianij@salve.edu SeaQuel: Southeast Asian Queers United for Empowerment and Leadership. Bi-weekly Sunday meetings. 383-7450. myspace.com/seaQuel; Email SeaQuel@Prysm.us S.H.E.P.A.R.D. (Stopping Homophobia, Eliminating Prejudices and Restoring Dignity): Providence College, 1 Cunningham Sq., Prov., RI 02918, E-mail shepard@providence.edu. 8651631 The Trevor Project: The only nationwide, aroundthe-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for LGBT youth. Also offers social networks. 866-4-U-TREVOR; 866-488-7386. thetrevorproject.org.
december 2013/january 2014
URI Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer Center. A cultural department for students, faculty and staff. Florence Badejo, 874-2894. web. uri.edu/gender_sexuality Youth Pride Inc./The Way Out: Support, education & advocacy for LGBTQQ young people ages 1323.Drop-in center at 743 Westminster St., Prov. 02903; Mon.---Thurs. noon--8 p.m, Fridays 4 -8 p.m., Sat. 10 -- 5. The Way Out peer support group Tues., 5 p.m. Gender Spectrum support group Tues. 5:30 p.m. Ask about the 14-andunder day. Call 421-5626 or email kerri@youthpride-ri.org Web: www.youthpride-ri.org. Support Groups & Social Services Abuse Victims and Survivors: Support on phone for LGBTQ victims & survivors of partner abuse. Confidential peer-led groups. Hotline (617) 7424911. Network/LaRed. Email office: advocate@ tnir.org Adoption Options: Non-sectarian help for LGBT and straight adoptions. Betsy Alper, Jewish Family Service, 959 No. Main St., Providence. 33154337. Foster parents needed: Stipend, assistance, training provided by Family Resources Community Action. 766-0900, ext. 1213. Foster parents needed, for newborn to age six. www. childrensfriendri.org. 276-4318 Foster parents sought: Training, stipend, support provided for nurturing families. Gregary Wright, Family Service of RI, 331-1350 Ext. 3305 Behavioral health outpatient services in Fall River area, inclusive of LGBT: S.T.E.P. (508-)2351012; T.W.I.S.T. (508) 672-0378 Blackstone Valley Advocacy Center, offering resources for victims of domestic violence. 723-3057. Catholic Parents Outreach: Always Our Children, 1st and 3rd Tuesdays, Sacred Heart Convent, 395 Chestnut St., Springfield, MA. Call Ann, (413) 736-6803. COLAGE (Children of Gays): A national movement of people with one or more LGBT parents. Social activities, education & advocacy. Meets 3rd Saturday of the month. rhodeisland@colage.org. Coordinator Veronica Jutras (vjutras5@gmail. com) Compass: FTM trans info, support and social group, meets in Boston First Thursday, 7 – 9 p.m. www. compassftm.org, compassftm@comcast.net Crossroads RI: Hotline (Travelers Aid): (800) 3672700
q 30
Day One (Formerly Sexual Assault and Trauma Resource Center of RI): Counseling & legal aid for victims of sexual assault/abuse & incest. 24-hr hotline (800) 494-8100, collect calls accepted: 421-4100. Dementia and Early Alzheimer’s LGBTQ support group at Calvary United Methodist Church of Middletown, 200 Turner Rd., Middletown RI 02842. 847-6181. Domestic Violence Resource Center of South County: Support, court advocacy, counseling, safe home, info for women and men in abusive or controlling, LGBT or straight relationships. 24 hour free and confidential helpline. 782-3990. Female-to-Male Support Group: Transgender peer support, information, social group. For those who identify somewhere on the trans-masculine spectrum. Regular meetings. Visit www.SNE_ FTM@yahoo.com Gay Fathers of Greater Boston: support: E-Mail outreach@gayfathersboston.org. www.gayfathersboston.org. Gay Fathers Support Group in RI. Tom Fronczak, LICSW, 431-2953. Fee applies. GayLab for Healthy Relationships: Learning & practicing healthy ways to socialize in safe, nonjudgmental environment in LGBT community. www.gaylab.org. Email info@gaylab.org. James, 781-762-6629 Gay Men’s Domestic Violence Project: support, info, shelter. (800) 832-1901, www.gmdvp.org. Gay Officers Action League /New England (GOAL NE), gay/lesbian/bisexual law enforcement officers, sworn & civilian. Fire, rescue and publicly employed EMS. P.O. Box 587, Boston, MA 02117; www.goalne.org; info@goalne.org; (617) 376-3612. Confidential.
p.m. Confidential. Drug/alcohol-free. Email mantalksouthcoast@yahoo.com
and transgender children ages 3-18. Info@imatyfa.org. www.imatyfa.org.
Nat. Lesbian & Gay Journalists Assoc./New England: Works for fair and accurate media coverage of LGBT issues, info@nlgja.org.
Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA): Growing organization to address the concerns of fair treatment of transgender veterans and active duty service members. www.tavausa.org.
PFLAG: Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians & Gays: Greater Providence chapter serves all of RI and Southeastern Mass.: First Wednesdays, 6:45 p.m. at Met School, 325 Public St., Providence. 751-7571; www.pflagprovidence.org; pflagprovidence@verizon.net. RI Coalition Against Domestic Violence: Info at 467-9940; 24-hour helpline, (800) 494-8100. RI Rainbow Support Group for people with disabilities who identify as LGBTQ. Meets last Tuesday of each month. 98 Rolfe St., Cranston, 6 - 7:30. Ken Renaud, 785-2100. RI Relay 711. Samaritans: 24-hour hotline for suicidal, lonely, despairing, depressed. (800) 365-4044 (RI only), 272-4044; www.samaritansri.org. Sexual Health Education & Advocacy Program: HIV, sexual wellness, domestic violence risk reduction. Free, confidential, LGBTQ-friendly and bilingual (Spanish). Contact Aida (amanduley@ sojournerri.org) or call 861-6191, ext. 121. No caller ID is used; calls are blocked for safety. Sojourner House: Support, shelter, advocacy, info for people in abusive relationships. Call us at 8616191 We DON’T use Caller ID; calls are blocked for safety. Straight Spouse Support: Straight spouse professional offers peer support and referrals. Jane Harris, (413) 625-6636. Email jcmalinski48@gmail. com. Straight Spouses Group: Visit www.StraightSpouse. org. for info on groups and online support.
Gay Share. Coming Out? Gay men’s support group Wed., 7:30 p.m. No fee. Call Tom/Mike, 3699448 or www.gayshare.org; Info@gayshare.org.
TGI Network of R.I.: Support, advocacy for Transgender, Transsexual, Gender-variant, Genderqueer & Intersex people. www.tginetwork.org. info@tginetwork.org.
Helpline for LGBT Youth: Trevor Helpline, call 24/7 for crisis and suicide prevention. Also social networks. 866-4-U-Trevor
Transgender Support Group: Cape Cod (508) 3624435
HIV+ Gay Men’s Support Group at AIDS Care Ocean State, 18 Parkis Ave., Prov., RI. 521-3603. Refreshments served. New members should call Scott: 640-3108 Kathys’ Group: free support group for lesbians with cancer or any life-threatening illness. Meets monthly in Providence. Partners and caregivers welcome. Call 888-5KATHYS. Lesbian Moms of Southern NE: discussion, support and activity list for lesbian mothers. www. topica.com/lists/LMOSNE or ForADancer63@ aol.com. Mantalk of S.E. Mass: Social/Discussions for gay/bi/ curious men 18+. Taunton every Thursday, and New Bedford 1st Tues. of the month, 7 – 8:30
options q
Women’s Resource Center of Newport and Bristol Counties, offering services to victims of domestic violence. 846-5263.
Classified Advertising Got an apartment to rent? Condo to sell? Looking for a housemate?
Send us 30 words and a check for $30, and we’ll publish it in the very next issue. Send ad to advertising@optionsri.org, and payment to P.O. Box 6406, Providence, RI 02940 Pet Sitting and More. The Kennel Alternative. Experienced Vet. Tech., Hospice Care, Administer Medications, Pet Sitting/House Sitting, Dog Walking and more.
Trans Family New England. Gives parents/family members of transgender people a safe place to explore impact of gender identity of their loved ones, and to connect with other families. Meets in Providence 2nd Tues. each month. Location unpublished for privacy. Email Partners@tginetwork.org. Trans Partners New England: Gives romantic partners of transgender people a confidential, safe space to explore the impact of a loved one’s gender identity on their relationships, and to connect with other loved ones of transgender people. Meetings in Providence, last Wed. of each month, location unpublished for privacy. Email partners@tginetwork.org. TransYouth Family Allies: Support for gender-variant
december
2013/january
2014
q
31