Options Magazine-August 2016 by Options Magazine

options August 2016

Mr. Gay RI Sheds Light on

EATING DISORDERS

Dating with a

Disability Haley Star on

Ghosting Rhode Islandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s LGBTQ Community Magazine Since 1982 - FREE

options

In This Issue:

Rhode Island’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer community news source since 1982. August 2016, Vol. XXXV, Issue 4

Worth a Look: Jodi Jolt & The Volt release Live Squared p. 38

Passages: Devioune Mayim-Daviau p. 5

Dating with a Disability p. 15

Accept the Difference p. 22

4 From the Editor 22 Accept the Difference 5 Passages: Devioune Mayim-Daviau 24 FLICKERS LGBTQ Film Festival 6 From the Publisher 25 YPI Offers Leadership Programs 6 Advertisers 26 SAGE-RI 8 Calendar 27 Mev Miller Talks Feminism 10 News Briefs 28 BOGO for ACOS 12 The Ghosting Epidemic 29 Transosaurus Rex 14 Dating with a Disability 29 Charlie Hall Comic 16 Mr. Gay RI on Eating Disorders 30 Resources 18 TGI Network: Practice Self-care 38 Worth a Look 20 Out on the Town

Home delivery is free! Subscribe at www.optionsri.org, email frank@optionsri.org, or write to us at our PO Box. © OPTIONS 2016. Options is published monthly. The opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the volunteers or staff. Listings are provided as a resource and do not imply endorsement. Submissions to Options must include a phone number or email address. Names may be withheld on request. Submissions, ads, calendar, or resource listings for the September 2016 issue must be delivered by August 12.

Options | August 2016

Publisher Kyle McKendall kyle@optionsri.org Editor in Chief Jen Stevens editor@optionsri.org Resources Editor Myra Shays Copy Editors Julia Barber, Xiang (Justin) Cai, Hannah Edgerly, Rex LeBeau, Christine Pavao, Maria Phillips, Myra Shays Graphic Design Theresa “Reese” Barzyk Contributors Erin Basler-Francis, Christion Battey, Adam Brooks, Joanne Bussiere, Chris Cedroni, The Lit Chick, Christopher Dalpe, Rodney Davis, Jodi Glass, Andrew Gurza, Charlie Hall, Jesus Holguin, Rex LeBeau, Kyle McKendall, Mev Miller, Shawn Quirk, Patrick Smock, Jen Stevens, Jayeson Watts Photographers Jen Bonin, Drew Christhilf Finance Director Donny McKendall billing@optionsri.org Subscription Manager Francis Ryan frank@optionsri.org Distribution distribution@optionsri.org Advertising advertising@optionsri.org

Contact Us info@optionsri.org PO Box 6406 Providence, RI 02940 (401) 724-LGBT www.optionsri.org Cover: Mr. Gay RI 2016 Joe DiMauro, photo by Ryan Welch

From the Editor Dear Reader, After such an emotionally trying July issue of Options with a heavy focus on Pride and the Orlando tragedy, it was a welcome pleasure to work on many August issue stories that delve into infrequently discussed nuances of our diverse community. Our editing team particularly enjoyed a story submitted by the Pawtucket-based Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health, in which staffer Erin Basler-Francis interviews the open and fearless Andrew Gurza on his dating experiences as a person who lives much of his life in a wheelchair (p. 15). For other features that address dating challenges with a touch of humor, be sure to check out Haley Star’s piece on ghosting (p. 12) and our celebrated monthly Transosaurus Rex comic (p. 29). For more in-depth perspectives on LGBTQ lives, mark your calendars for the annual Flickers International Film Festival, August 9-14, in which over 40 films will be screened during the festival’s popular LGBTQ Sidebar (p. 24). Documentaries, animated films, comedies, and dramas await you, telling stories that the mainstream film industry isn’t ready to propagate. Mr. Gay RI 2016 Joe DiMauro is pulling back the curtain on the prevalence of eating disorders within the gay community, a littlediscussed and often misunderstood health issue. Get to know Joe and his crusade in Chris Cedroni’s story on page 17. Options has always offered space to our community’s many active non-profits. If you tend to gloss over these stories, consider taking a closer look. It’s encouraging to see Youth Pride Inc. (p. 25), SAGE-RI (p. 26), and AIDS Care Ocean State (p. 28) thinking creatively about how to engage and positively impact their constituencies.

Sadly, we lost the irreplaceable Devioune Mayim-Daviau in July. The beloved, unique, loving, generous, and award-winning owner of Mister Sister gave the community a safe space in her shop on Wickenden Street in Providence, where all are assured a judgmentfree education about any sexual interest they may have. Her staff, comprised of her dear friends, should be commended for keeping the doors open through this time of mourning. Why not pay them a visit soon? In light of these trying times and personal loss, I was particularly grateful to TGI Network for offering their thoughtful article containing advice on self-care. When the news in the world overwhelms you, sometimes the simplest things can make the biggest difference.

In solidarity, Jen Stevens

We want to hear from you. Send letters to editor@optionsri.org.

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Options | August 2016

Passages: Devioune Mayim-Daviau, Sept. 14, 1958 - July 14, 2016 by Rodney Davis If you were to look up the Yiddish word “mensch” on Wikipedia it would define the term by quoting Leo Rosten: “… someone to admire and emulate, someone of noble character. The key to being ‘a real mensch’ is nothing less than character, rectitude, dignity, a sense of what is right, responsible, decorous.” We lost a mensch in Devioune Mayim-Daviau, and she would be tickled pink, or rather rainbow, that I would use this Yiddish term, as she was so proud of her Jewish heritage. In 2012 Rhode Island Pride awarded Devioune the Spirit of Pride Award. She was so excited and so honored to have received it. I wrote the following in the press release about this gentle yet powerful soul: “RI Pride wishes to recognize an individual whose generous spirit is an example for all to follow. The Spirit of Pride Award is presented to Devioune MayimDaviau of Mister Sister. Devioune is a local entrepreneur and small business owner who continues to give and support the community she loves. Whether it’s sponsoring AIDS Care’s Gay Bingo, Pride fundraisers, or community projects, Devioune always says, ‘How can I help?’ The doors to her store on Wickenden Street are always open to members of the community with her sex-positive approach to intimacy. When it comes to sex education, there isn’t a question Devioune won’t answer. It’s done without awkwardness or embarrassment. We are pleased and honored to present the Spirit of Pride Award to her.” We will truly miss you all the days of our lives and are grateful for your presence on this earth.You have taught us well; may we continue to practice it. Devioune Mayim-Daviau Z”L (May her memory be a blessing.) q

Left: Devioune receives 2012 Spirit of Pride Award, poses with Kitty Litter at RI Pride Honors. Above: Devioune at her shop, Mister Sister, with her beloved Raizel. Nominated Best Erotic Boutique in U.S., AVN Awards 2012

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Options | August 2016

From the Publisher Dear Reader, With just a glance, Devioune Mayim-Daviau seemed like someone I shared little in common with. Her self-described bulldyke appearance and sleeve tattoos were glaring contrasts to my flamboyant and eccentric features. However, I could sit and talk with her for hours, and had the pleasure of developing a working friendship through my role here at Options. Devioune passed away July 14, and we at Options mourn her loss with great sadness. Our sympathies go out to her family, friends, and community. Devioune was always eager to display copies of Options at her shop, Mister Sister Erotica. Her unwavering support of the work we’re doing at Options, persistent contributions to LGBTQ nonprofits, and relentless dyke pride will be missed by many. Diverse as our community is, we have more in common with one another at our core than we have differences. Fundamentally, the desire to be understood and respected spans the demographics that compose our community. The gay man and lesbian might have contrasting life experiences, but they share a common denominator of being a member of this community. Options has always provided a space for us to discuss and explore our differences, though we begin unified in our common ground. Over the past few years, two people have been loyal distribution volunteers and deserve the utmost respect and appreciation. Rex LeBeau has expanded the number of distribution locations we have in Newport and Middletown, and each month spearheads a distribution effort across the islands. Jessica Cinquegrana continues to amaze me by finding time to help distribute issues in South County. Her calendar is always full, but she cheerfully messages me every month to meet to load her car with stacks of Options. Our persistent calls for volunteers to contribute to Options are not empty rhetoric; there is an urgency embedded within each word. As life events understandably deter volunteers, we need new people to take up the torch. We would love to have your help on our distribution team, editorial board, or copy editing team, as examples. Without the assistance of individuals like you, we risk a future without this community publication. I’m hopeful that you’ll help me ensure that Options continues to serve a vital purpose within the community.

Onward, Kyle McKendall

Advertisers in This Issue ACOS: Know your status........................................................... 7 AMC Permanent Cosmetics and Wellness...................... 7 Anthony’s Jewelers...................................................................... 19 Blue Cross & Blue Shield of RI............................................. 37 Bob DaRocha - Realtor............................................................ 19 City Kitty........................................................................................... 26 Classic Flute Duos....................................................................... 26 Contemporary Ceremonies................................................. 18 Green Care Landscaping............................................................ 6 Gregory’s Optical........................................................................ 19 Insperiors Inspired Interiors...................................................... 7 JDHS Photos.................................................................................. 28 Jennifer A Minuto - Attorney................................................ 19 John D. DaPonte - Counselor............................................... 25 Kellie Marcil - Realtor................................................................ 13 Kitty Litter Cruise........................................................................... 2 LGBT Vacation Planners........................................................... 13 Michael O’Mara - Counselor................................................ 17 Mister Sister Erotica...................................................................... 5 Mulholland Financial LLC......................................................... 19 Neighborhood Health Plan of Rhode Island.................. 9 New London Pride.................................................................... 18 Plumbing by Paul.......................................................................... 24 Providence Community Acupuncture............................. 26 PSJ Productions............................................................................. 28 Residential Properties.................................................................. 4 SERVPRO............................................................................................7 The Stable........................................................................................... 6 The Village........................................................................................ 39 Whole Foods Market................................................................ 40 Wilder Therapy & Wellness...................................................... 7

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Options | August 2016

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Options | August 2016

CALENDAR OF EVENTS AUGUST

information or to join, visit www.yankeecruising.org, email yankeecruisingclub@gmail. com, or call 508-423-6123.

Wed. 3 Salsa night by TeamFusionRI, 8pm1am. Aurora, 276 Westminster Street, Providence. Open to dancers of all levels of experience. No partner needed. $15 cover, includes a lesson. $10 after 10pm. For more info, facebook.com/SalsaConSoul.

Sun. 14 RI Prime Timers, 4:30-7pm. Social, dinner, and networking group for older gay and bi men on second Sundays. For more info, www.riprimetimers.org or call Steve at 996-3010.

Fri. 5 Homegrown Comedy Night with host John Kelley, 8pm. The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. $10. Reservations can be made at www.thevillageri.com or 228-7222. Sat. 6 Concordia Center for Spiritual Living presents Kirtan with Felicia Rose, 8pm. A joyful musical experience, lifting spirits while creating a feeling of peace and unity. 292 West Shore Road, Warwick. $10. For more info, feliciarose.com/home, Concordia.CSL. com, or 732-1552. Tue. 9 PawSox LGBTQ Night, 7:05pm. PawSox v. Durham. McCoy Stadium, 1 Columbus Avenue, Pawtucket. Tue. 9 – Sun. 14 Flickers LGBTQ Film Festival. For a full listing of screenings and descriptions, visit http://riff.festivalgenius. com/2016/films/category/LGBTQ. For advance tickets or student, group, and senior discounts, visit www.RIFilmFest.org, call 8614445, or email info@film-festival.org. Thu. 11 Sweet Little Variety Show, 8pm. Aurora, 276 Westminster Street, Providence. A queer-produced potpourri of entertainment. $7. Find Sweet Little Variety Show on Facebook and at www. sweetlittlevarietyshow.com. Sat. 13 Great Gale, 8pm. The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. $5. Reservations can be made at www. thevillageri.com or 228-7222.

Sat. 13-Sun. 14 Boating in Provincetown for Carnival withYankee Cruising Club. For more

Wed. 17 Queer Book Club, 7-9:30pm. Books on the Square, 471 Angell Street, Providence. Reading: High Desert by Katherine Forrest. Discount if book is purchased at Books on the Square. For more info, email queerbookclub@gmail.com. Fri. 19 SAGE LGBT Café, noon-2pm. Church of the Transfiguration, 1665 Broad Street, Cranston. A delicious, low-cost lunch in a gay-friendly setting sponsored by Meals on Wheels, the Department of Elderly Affairs, and SAGE-RI. Programming after lunch. A $3 donation is suggested for LGBT people 60+ and people with disabilities; a $6 donation is suggested for all others. Reservations required: Call Pauline at 3516700.

Sat. 20 Bachata/Kizomba Fusion Night by TeamFusionRI, 8pm-2am. Aurora, 276 Westminster Street, Providence. Open to dancers of all levels of experience. No partner needed. $15 cover, includes a lesson. $10 after 10pm. For more info, facebook. com/SalsaConSoul. Sun. 21 Trans Health & Wellness Swim Night, 4-6pm. McDermott Pool, 975 Sandy Lane, Warwick. For more info, facebook. com/thundermist. Wed. 24 Rhode Island Pride Open House, 7pm. 1055 Westminster Street, Providence, Floor 2. Social gathering and discussion of community events and opportunities for involvement. All are welcome. For more info, www.prideri.com or 467-2130.

Wed. 24 Ani DiFranco, 8pm. Provincetown Town Hall, 260 Commercial Street, Provincetown, MA. $35-$85. For more info, www.righteousbabe.com. Fri. 26 New London Pride, 5-10pm. Hygienic Park, 79 Bank Street, New London, CT. Featuring Sister Funk, Ms. Fabulous Contest, and DJ John Rzasa. For more info, newlondonpride.com. Sat. 27 New London Pride, 1-7pm. Center Stage on the Boardwalk at Ocean Beach Park, New London, CT. Featuring Hartford Gay Men’s Chorus, Carrie Ashton Band,The Imperial Sovereign Court,Tea Dance with DJ Jimmy Fingaz, Mystic Paper Beasts, and youth events. For more info, newlondonpride.com. Sat. 27 Cheryl Aruda & Dirty Blonde, 8pm. The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. $5. Reservations can be made at www.thevillageri.com or 228-7222. Sun. 31 Options Magazine Release Party, 3-6pm. The Stable, 125 Washington Street, Providence. Join us for the release of the September issue. Volunteers needed for distribution.

SEPTEMBER Wed. 7 Salsa night by TeamFusionRI, 8pm1am. Aurora, 276 Westminster Street, Providence. Open to dancers of all levels of experience. No partner needed. $15 cover, includes a lesson. $10 after 10pm. For more info, facebook.com/SalsaConSoul. Fri. 9 Comedy with Amy Tee & Friends, 8pm. The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. $10. Reservations can be made at www.thevillageri.com or 228-7222. Sat. 10 29th Annual Swim for Life & Paddler Flotilla, registration 9-10am. A 1.4 mile swim across Provincetown Harbor from Long

Options | August 2016

Point to the Boatslip beach, to raise funds for a multitude of local nonprofits. $100 pledge minimum. For more info, swim4life.org or thecompact@comcast.net. Sun. 11 RI Prime Timers, 4:30-7pm. Social, dinner, and networking group for older gay and bi men on second Sundays. For more info, www.riprimetimers.org or call Steve at 996-3010. Fri. 16 SAGE LGBT CafĂŠ, noon-2pm. Church of the Transfiguration, 1665 Broad Street, Cranston. A delicious, low-cost lunch in a gay-friendly setting sponsored by Meals on Wheels, the Department of Elderly Affairs, and SAGE-RI. Programming after lunch. A $3 donation is suggested for LGBT people 60+ and people with disabilities; a $6 donation is suggested for all others. Reservations required: Call Pauline at 3516700. Sat. 17 Sheri Lynn Band, 8pm. The Village, 373 Richmond Street, Providence. $5. Reservations can be made at www. thevillageri.com or 228-7222.

on the Square. For more info, email queerbookclub@gmail.com.

Sat. 17 Bachata/Kizomba Fusion Night by TeamFusionRI, 8pm-2am. Aurora, 276 Westminster Street, Providence. Open to dancers of all levels of experience. No partner needed. $15 cover, includes a lesson. $10 after 10pm. For more info, facebook. com/SalsaConSoul. Sun. 18 Interweave Piza Party and Movie, 5:30pm. Parish Hall of Channing Memorial Church, 135 Pelham Street, Newport. Free and open to all. For more info, contact Rex at 595-9068 or interweave@channingchurch. org. Wed. 21 Queer Book Club, 7-9:30pm. Books on the Square, 471 Angell Street, Providence. Reading: Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan. Discount if book is purchased at Books

Wed. 28 Rhode Island Pride Open House, 7pm. 1055 Westminster Street, Providence, Floor 2. Social gathering and discussion of community events and opportunities for involvement. All are welcome. For more info, www.prideri.com or 467-2130. Regularly Scheduled Support Groups: ACOS (HIV/AIDS): youth,Tue. 4pm/gay males, Wed. 1:30pm LGBT Alcoholics Anonymous: Tue. 7pm PFLAG (parents, friends, allies): 1st & 3rd Wed. 6:45pm TGI Network (trans): 1st & 3rd Tue. 7pm/Sat. 1pm TransFamily New England: 2nd Mon. 6:30pm YPI (youth): Way Out,Thu. 4pm/Gender Spectrum,Tue. 4pm/youth 13 and under:Thu. 5pm See Resources on page 30 for more info.

NEW PLANS. NE W LOOK.

Same heart. 1-800-459-6019 www.nhpri.org Options | August 2016

NEWS BRIEFS

Children’s Bill of Rights Now Includes Nondiscrimination Clause State Sen. Gayle Goldin and State Rep. Grace Diaz were honored by the LGBTQQI Committee, led by Family Service of RI, for their successful efforts to add a nondiscrimination clause to the Children’s Bill of Rights for children in the care of the Department of Children, Youth, and Families. The clause now prohibits discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, ancestry, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression, socioeconomic status, or mental, physical, developmental, or sensory disability. LGBTQQI Committee chairwoman Isabel Storey (left), presented Sen. Goldin and Rep. Diaz (right) with a framed copy of the updated Children’s Bill of Rights. – by Christion Battey for AIDS Project RI. Photo courtesy of the RI General Assembly.

Providence Schools Adopt New Transgender Policy Providence schools have adopted a new policy regarding transgender students. The district will now provide training, professional development, and guidance to

by Adam Brooks

teachers and staff on how to be respectful and supportive of all of their students. The goal of the new policy is to create and maintain a welcoming environment for students of all gender identities, including if they don’t match the one assigned to them at birth. Staff and teachers will be more encouraging of students who want to express their identities in the classroom. Providence Schools Superintendent Christopher Maher said that the policy basically summarizes most of changes that have already been occurring in the district. Some changes that the policy lists, in addition to restroom and changing facility guidelines, detail what pronouns to use when addressing students and how to deal with bullying between students. Angelica Villalona, a Providence student, said the policy gives a voice to the students. “Not a lot of people are heard,” she said. “It makes it better for them. They feel comfortable. They can be able to walk in and out of the restroom they feel comfortable with.”

LGBTQ Restaurant The Village Recognized for Going Green Café, bar, and music venue The Village is one of the first restaurants in the state to be certified by the Green Restaurant Association. The LGBTQ-friendly spot, which opened in the Jewelry District in 2014, met the standards for sustainability certification from the national non-profit whose goal is to make restaurants more environmentally friendly. Some of the steps required for certification include: having programmable thermostats, efficient hand dryers, and induction burners. The Green Restaurant Association also has food-based requirements. Using local eggs and dairy or organic products, and offering vegetarian main dishes helped in

securing The Village’s certification. Further certification steps pertain to water usage, how waste is recycled, and the use of safe cleaning chemicals in order to cut down on pollution. In addition to The Village, Hope Street Pizza, and Arooga’s Grille House & Sports Bar also acquired the green certification, along with many of Brown University’s dining facilities.

Judge Rules Against Clerk Refusals of Same-Sex Marriage Licenses U.S. District Judge Carlton Reeves ruled last month that Mississippi clerks may not use religious beliefs as grounds for refusal to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. The state’s homophobia-based Protecting Freedom of Conscience from Government Discrimination Act was found to be a violation of the Supreme Court’s 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges ruling legalizing same-sex marriage. While the Campaign for Southern Equality, the equal rights group that filed the Mississippi lawsuit, is happy with the court’s decision, many are upset with the new ruling. Mississippi’s Lieutenant Governor Tate Reeves criticized the decision, stating, “If this opinion by the federal court denies even one Mississippian of their fundamental right to practice their religion, then all Mississippians are denied their first amendment rights. I hope the state’s attorneys will quickly appeal this decision to the 5th Circuit to protect the deeply held religious beliefs of all Mississippians.” Instances of clerks denying marriage licenses to LGBTQ couples began in July of 2015 when Kim Davis, a clerk from Rowan County in Kentucky, denied numerous same-sex couples their licenses because it went against her personal religious beliefs.

Options | August 2016

National PTA Makes LGBT-Positive Resolution National PTA (Parent Teacher Association), the nation’s largest child advocacy group, held its 2016 Annual Convention and Expo in Orlando in early July, and announced a resolution called “Recognition of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer/ Questioning Individuals as a Protected Class.” Participants called for federal policies that specifically protect LGBTQ youth in order to maintain an inclusive and safe learning environment for students across America. As outlined in the resolution, National PTA and its partner groups will advocate for legislation that recognizes LGBTQ individuals as a protected group and addresses discrimination based upon orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. The association also seeks to make sure educators have the proper training to implement policies protecting LGBTQ students. “Every child deserves to go to school excited to learn in a safe and nurturing environment, without the fear of bullying, violence, or discrimination. However, the vast majority of LGBTQ students are bullied, physically assaulted, and feel unsafe in school because of their actual or perceived sexual orientation or identity,” said Laura Bay, president of National PTA. “National PTA delegates have taken a stand to push for policies and protections for LGBTQ youth to make sure they have positive school experiences.” National PTA consists of millions of families, students, teachers, administrators, and business and community leaders. It is a nonprofit entirely devoted to the educational success of children and the promotion of family engagement in schools.

Options | August 2016

New Star Trek Movie Features Franchise’s First Gay Character John Cho, the actor portraying Hikaru Sulu in Star Trek Beyond, informed an Australian newspaper that his character will be portrayed as gay. Cho said that this incarnation of Sulu will be raising a daughter with his same-sex partner. The idea to make the classic Star Trek character gay was developed by writer Simon Pegg and director Justin Lin, but the two opted not to make Sulu’s sexuality a major plot point. “I liked the approach, which was not to make a big thing out it, which is where I hope we are going as a species, to not politicize one’s personal orientations,” said Cho. Envisioning Sulu’s sexual orientation as gay was Lin and Pegg’s way of paying homage to George Takei, who played the role in the original 1960s Star Trek television series and movies. Takei, now 79, opened up about his homosexuality in 2005 and is an outspoken advocate for LGBTQ rights. When Takei was told about the writers’ decision to re-envision Sulu as gay, he had mixed feelings. While he was delighted to hear that the franchise was introducing its first LGBTQ character, he was disappointed that the film was straying away from the characters and archetypes that Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry had so meticulously assembled. Takei revealed that he had once asked Roddenberry why he never included any LGBTQ characters in the original series. Roddenberry responded that he had already been toeing the line with studio executives by tackling interracial relationships and civil rights issues and felt, at the time, as though depicting an LGBTQ character would be the final straw and get the show pulled off the air. Star Trek Beyond premiered July 22.

LGBTQ Gun Club Sees Increase in Members The Pink Pistols, a national LGBT gun club, has seen a major increase in members following the Pulse Nightclub shooting in Orlando. The organization, with over 45 chapters across the country, rose from 1,500 to 4,000 members a week after the attacks and has since doubled to over 8,000 members. One member, Matt Schlentz, from the organization’s Salt Lake City chapter, attributes the massive increase to the fact that members of the LGBTQ community no longer feel safe – that the risk of being a victim of a hate crime is more prevalent than ever. “Every gay person, every lesbian, every transgender [person], everybody in-between, and every street person, we all know someone who has been the victim of a crime, a hate crime, or some type of violent assault,” he said in an interview. As the largest mass shooting in American history, the shooting in Orlando was definitely an eye-opener for many in the LGBTQ community and members of the organization are encouraging others to join in order to learn more about protecting themselves. Pink Pistols, a nonprofit that has been around for about 20 years, promotes the safe and legal use of firearms for self-defense in the LGBTQ community. They allow anyone to become a member and don’t require any dues or paperwork. Their website touts phrases like, “We teach queers to shoot. Then we teach others that we have done so. Armed queers don’t get bashed.”q

Ghosting

The

Epidemic

by Haley Star

icture it. You meet a wonderful person and have amazing chemistry. You hit it off from the get-go. Your interests are theirs, your favorite food is their favorite food and soon enough you start finishing each other’s sentences. You spend your days thinking about them and your nights together – making dinner, seeing movies, cuddling on the couch – all those fun things you do when you first start dating someone. You’ve told all of your friends and some of the lucky ones have already met your new love interest. Then, all of a sudden, your sweetie disappears. Your texts go unanswered, calls are left unreturned or even worse… they completely stand you up for a date. You, my friend, have been ghosted. What is ghosting, you might ask? I like to think of it as a cowardly way out of a budding relationship. Technically, it is the act of someone completely disappearing and cutting off all contact with you

without any form of explanation. I don’t know about you, but this seems like a pretty childish move to me. Have we really developed into a society that hides behind a screen and doesn’t have the common decency to tell someone to their face that they simply are no longer interested in dating? Having recently been the victim of ghosting myself, I speak from personal experience by saying this is a horrible thing to go through. It leaves you feeling drained and useless, thinking that you aren’t good enough for someone. You constantly question if it was something you said, something you did, or if there was something you could have done differently to prevent it. The super social media world we live in today has created this bubble that we all, whether we know it or not, inhabit. We live behind screens that illuminate the darkness all around us and we find comfort in that screen. Have we

developed into beings who are more comfortable interacting with a keypad and a screen than with the warm emotions of another person? It’s time to take a step back and examine who we are as people and why we exist in this world: to love and be loved and exist with people who want to bring us up, not knock us down. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are dating someone and something just doesn’t feel right, or you think they might not be the one for you, tell them! Communication is the key to success in any relationship and ghosting is surely not the answer. Have the common decency and respect to let your partner know that you just aren’t into them anymore. Who knows, your next great friendship could start from that one conversation. Focus on leaving the world with a little more love in it, because at the end of the day, all you need is love. q

Options | August 2016

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Options | August 2016

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DATING WITH A

DISABILITY Erin Basler-Francis interviews Andrew Gurza

ating can be hard, but the Internet is working to make it easier. At its dawn, online dating was largely a place for straight, cis, white people ISO (in search of) same, to move in quickly, get married, and make babies. As demand for alternatives grew, niche dating sites began. Now, not only can you find a partner of diverse and varied identities, you may even have a website dedicated specifically to finding you a partner with your favorite characteristic. Who knew there were that many active daters looking to meet farmers? Smartphones make connecting with potential dates more expedient. You could be swiping during brunch with your grandma to find a date for that night. It’s clearly great and working for everyone. But is it really? In the past few years, people with disabilities have been describing a range of experiences with online dating, from

being ghosted after “disclosing” a disability to being pursued by disability fetishists, to being expected to settle for a bad partner because it’s supposedly the best they can get. Prejudiced messages don’t just show up in inboxes without decades of cultural reinforcement. Society views disability as a demerit in the “ideal partner” contest. Meet someone who is fighting that notion, one podcast at a time. Andrew Gurza is a self-described Queer Cripple invested in presenting to the world his experience dating while disabled. As the founder and co-director of Deliciously Disabled Consulting and voice of the eponymous podcast, Andrew is giving the general public an authentic view of his dating life as a queer man using a wheelchair. His articles, which appear in places like the Huffington Post and Out.com, share the good, bad, ugly, and touching parts of his dating life. Here, Andrew talks Grindr, kink, and

sexting turn-offs with Erin from The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health in Pawtucket. CSPH: Which dating apps and sites are your favorites? Why? Andrew Gurza: To be honest, I am on all the sites: Squirt, Grindr, etc. I have had the most luck with Squirt in hooking up with guys. What I enjoy most about it is that I get to be overtly sexual as a queer disabled man. Through these apps I can combine my sexuality and disability in a very public way. There is something both important and intoxicating about that. I’ve had some of the best sex ever because I put myself out there on the apps, and some of the worst sex too. But thanks to Squirt, I was able to find that out and be sexualized. CSPH: You talk about your preferred sexual roles (top/bottom) quite a bit, and control as it appears in your

Options | August 2016

life. Do you identify as a Kinkster, and where on that spectrum do you place yourself? AG: I would agree that I am indeed a Kinky Cripple. I am still very new to the community and all of the kinks, primarily because partners who aren’t afraid to a) have sex with me, and b) try new things, are few and far between. I love the idea of trying new things with partners who are willing to try with me. I hate the top/bottom/vers categories that we have projected in queer culture. So I refuse to adhere to those specific labels. I am also shifting my relationship with “control.” I used to be – and sometimes still very much am – very concerned that everything had to go according to a very detailed and meticulous script or the sex wouldn’t be good – wouldn’t be what I had romanticized it to be. Now, I am learning to lose control and I’m enjoying the ride. That is a process within itself, unlearning certain things. CSPH: Your articles have described your experiences with dating and sex. What are the things that make a hook-up an all-around success? What are the things that make a hook-up feel terrible? AG: The things that make a hook-up a success really vary; sometimes it’s spontaneity and sometimes it’s support via “storyboarding.” The biggest marker of success is an open mind on the part of myself and my partner. I think if my partner understands that my sexual capital and sexual currency are inherently tied to my identity as a Deliciously Disabled man, and I understand that they might fumble around issues of ableism, things will go smoothly. The horrible part of hook-ups is when none of that happens, and my partner fails to see how my disability plays into our play: when they rush out the door, don’t help me dress afterward, or ghost me after we play. If we are gonna have our body parts in one another, why can’t we at least be friends?!

Options | August 2016

CSPH: Do you prefer hook-ups or long-term partners? Why? AG: If I am honest, I have never really had a long-term partner. I have had a lot of hook-up partners in the past, but the relationship thing has never really happened for me.There are a number of factors: ableism, fear (on both sides), etc. I’d like to explore the idea of a long-term relationship, but I am also very aware of the fact that I want to continue to explore my sexuality with different partners. CSPH: Have you worked with surrogates or sex workers to meet your sexual needs? If so, how does the process of getting ready to have planned sex differ from casual hooking up? AG: I had one experience with a sex worker, and while I got what I needed from that experience, I do prefer a more emotional connection with my partners that goes beyond the physical aspects. The process of getting ready was very direct, and while that was okay, it lacked a sense of emotionality that I seek from sex. CSPH: People with disabilities who have written about dating apps have used varying tactics for “disclosing” disability during Internet-based courtship. What is your strategy? Has it changed over time? AG: My strategy is to go “balls to the wall” with the disclosure piece. I am very upfront about my disability on all the apps. My name on Squirt is “confidentcrip.” I think that again ties into my desire to connect sex and disability in a public, sexy way. As I have become more comfortable with my identity as a Deliciously Disabled Queer Cripple, my disclosure tactics have definitely become bolder. I will make comments about my “big joystick,” how I am “sexy and seated,” etc. I am becoming less and less concerned with what people think, and more concerned with how I feel about all these moving parts. Telling the truth about who I am isn’t really an issue. I think that guys who might wanna hook up with me have a right to know

that I am disabled. CSPH: In your ideal world, what one thing would your potential suitors do or not do during the text-flirting process? AG: I would love potential suitors to say things like, “Hey. I see that you are in a wheelchair. I think you are really cute, and I was hoping it would be okay if you showed me more.” Okay, if a guy said that, my pants would be down before he was done asking. I think guys have so many questions, and that is perfectly fine and acceptable, but to ask me, “Hey, can you even get an erection?” is so dehumanizing. (This has happened countless times on dating apps and Squirt.) It suggests that if [I can’t], I am not viable as a gay man. While I am fortunate that my disability doesn’t affect my ability to get it up, for some disabled men it does. There is so much more to sex with boys in chairs than just boners and blowjobs. CSPH: Finally, because the other thing I spend a LOT of time talking about, is adapting sex toys… What is your favorite sexual enhancement device? AG: I have only used one device with limited success, but my favorite sexual enhancement devices are a cute smile, scruff, and big hands! LOL. Be sure to find more of Andrew’s work at DelicouslyDisabled.org and on Twitter @deliciouslydrew. The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health is a 501(c)(3) sexuality education and training organization that works to reduce sexual shame, challenge misinformation, and advance the field of sexuality. Visit www.thecsph.org, email info@thecsph.org, or call (401) 489-5513 to connect with us. CSPH is located in The Grant Building, 250 Main Street, Unit 1, Pawtucket, RI 02860. Hours of operation Tuesday – Saturday, noon–6pm, and by appointment..q

MR. GAY RHODE ISLAND SHEDS LIGHT ON

EATING

DISORDERS by Chris Cedroni

Mr.Gay RI 2015 Richie DeFilippo (left) and Mr.Gay RI 2016 Joe DiMauro (right).

Options | August 2016

he stereotype of gay men who are obsessed with their physical appearance is alive and well. While rarely mentioned in the media or even well understood by society, it is not uncommon for members of the LGBTQQ community to have self-destructive body images and form unhealthy relationships with food. In fact, there is good evidence to suggest that the gay community encourages it.

to a larger audience. “I made eating disorders the centerpiece of my involvement in the pageant,” Joe says. He used the Alice in Wonderland theme to his advantage, dressing as Lewis Carroll’s hookah-smoking caterpillar. On the runway, he transformed into a butterfly, on whose wings were written “Anorexia Kills 40%,” a stark reminder that four out of ten people with eating disorders will eventually die of them.

So says Joe DiMauro, Mr. Gay Rhode Island 2016. He is using his crown to raise awareness of eating disorders in our community, and in his own words, “start a very important conversation.”

Since being crowned, Joe has joined Miss Gay Rhode Island Neoki Feytal and Miss Lesbian Rhode Island Ally P. Sha in raising awareness for Rhode Island Pride’s many events, and he has also been busy having conversations – some coming from sources that are surprisingly close.

DiMauro, 21, first became aware of the RI Pride Triple Crown Pageant a few years back when a friend of his entered as Mr. Gay Rhode Island. “I saw that it was really supportive and affirming of the community, and I thought about it as a way of getting a message across,” he tells me. And he’s right. Winners of the Triple Crown Pageant – which names a Mr. Gay Rhode Island, Miss Gay Rhode Island, and Ms. Lesbian Rhode Island (and other titles when there are contestants) – are encouraged to champion an issue of their own choosing, and use their year-long exposure to drive it home. In the past, winners have championed HIV/AIDS-related issues, substance abuse, homophobia, and other weighty issues that require an all-hands-on-deck response. I wondered why this year’s Mr. Gay Rhode Island chose a seemingly “quieter” issue as his own. In Joe’s case, it’s personal. Not long ago, he was in the grip of anorexia, and dangerously thin.“I was down to 113 pounds.” He had had unexplained hair loss. When he pinched his fingertips, they did not bounce back into shape. Finally, an unrelated trip to the doctor’s office revealed that he had an unhealthy condition that would cause catastrophic health issues. Joe took the doctor’s advice to heart, and over the next few months, began to mend his ways. His weight reached a healthy level, and through frequent follow-up visits he was able to overcome his condition. He and the people around him are grateful that he had the conversation with his healthcare provider but, according to Joe, the roots of the condition run much, much deeper. “When we are talking about eating disorders we are talking about depression. We are talking about societal pressure inside and outside the LGBT community. We are talking about how to demystify a life-threatening issue.”

“I have been talking with a lot of people via social media,” he says. “So far, three people have reached out to me looking for help in dealing with their own eating disorders. Also, a friend confided that he was bulimic, and that he developed the disorder, in part, ‘just to fit in.’ ” While he is happy to share his personal narrative and help guide individuals or concerned friends and family members to appropriate health services, Joe freely admits that he isn’t an expert on eating disorders. He wants his contribution to be more intimate. For Joe, starting a conversation is key, and reaching out to help those in need individually is the important work.That’s not to say he doesn’t have big visions for the future. “I’d like to see Pride-certified doctors who could recognize the early signs of anorexia and bulimia, who were also able to address specific health issues and concerns of the LGBT community. Or even a center for issues centered around body image,” he says. Of course, to get his wish list fulfilled, he is going to need help, but he has a plan for that, too. Joe has reached out to former winners of Mr. Gay Rhode Island to form a “Kings Coalition” that could instantly provide support for the causes of future winners, connecting them with a much-needed network of connections, fundraisers, advisors, movers, and shakers. “I’ve already reached out to all 20 past winners,” he said. And they are all eager to get on board. q

It wasn’t long before Joe realized that others might not be so receptive to his message. “Eating disorders are kind of a joke in parts of the gay community,” he tells me. According to Joe, with the ultimate goal of conforming to a common gay ideal, many community members are quicker to envy the super-slim than they are to raise concern. “It struck me as an unhealthy but glorified condition,” he remembers. So when the chance to become Mr. Gay Rhode Island presented itself, he saw it as an opportunity to bring his message

Options | August 2016

SELF CARE T

by Jayeson Watts

here have been a lot of difficult things in the news lately, especially thanks to the not-new-but-more-prevalent mainstream display of violence through online video footage. It seems as if every day there is a new traumatic event unfolding before our eyes. Orlando. Minneapolis. Baton Rouge. Dallas. Baton Rouge again. And then there’s the death of Deeniquia Dodds, a transwoman of color from Washington, DC who recently became the 15th trans person murdered in 2016. This is not a commentary on those tragedies. This is a commentary on self-care and the impact of trauma. In the days following the tragedy in Orlando, I saw many people that I cared about having trouble sleeping, suffering from increased anxiety, feeling numb, and having recurring thoughts or dreams about the tragedy. For many, symptoms will lessen within a few days or weeks after an event; for others, it can take much longer. Anyone who finds that their feelings are disrupting daily life should consider seeking support. It doesn’t matter how far away it was. It was our community, and it hit close to home.

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When a community, any community, is repeatedly targeted and bombarded by traumatic events, there is less time to recover. It’s like getting knocked down by a strong wave at the beach and then getting pulled down again, every time you start to get up. We can speak to this in the trans community. We can also speak to this when talking about violence, in particular, violence targeting people of color. Self-care means different things to different people. Be mindful of your physical and emotional reaction and know when you need to take a break. Has your roommate been glued to the 24-hour news network for the past 12 hours? Do you feel compelled to read every account or video of the event that is posted to your Facebook feed? Perhaps, it’s okay if you do not watch that video again after the third time. It may be time to take a break. Walk away from the TV or computer. Call a friend, go out to lunch, go for a walk, or seek community support. It’s important that we are kind toward one another and listen to what each person has to say. It’s also important that we look out for one another. And stand in solidarity with our allies. q TGI Network of Rhode Island is the only statewide organization providing support, advocacy, and education for the transgender, gender-variant, and intersex community (aka trans* community). Incorporated in 2011, our mission is to be a resource for TGI people navigating their lives and the medical and legal systems; to serve as a resource for professionals working with TGI people; and to serve as a liaison between the TGI and LGB communities and the community at large. Visit us at www.tginetwork.org.

Options | August 2016

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Options | August 2016

OUT

RI Pride Volunteer Appreciation Party, July 16 (p. 20) - by Drew Christhilf DiMera Goes to Dallas @ Dark Lady, July 17 (p. 21) - by Jen Bonin

On the Town 20 20

Options || August August 2016 2016 Options

Options | August 2016

by Joanne Bussiere

Accept the Difference: A Radical African Organization other” can turn to bigotry and violence in a heartbeat. Perhaps it is the courage of those who stand up for others even when it puts them personally at risk that can inspire others to make even the smallest sacrifices.

Enos and Kathy

n our nation’s recent past, Mississippi, North Carolina, and Tennessee legislators have passed laws to allow discrimination against LGBTQ people in the guise of religious freedom. We have a presidential candidate who is stirring up a base of intolerance and hate. In the midst of this tumultuous political climate came the tragic Orlando massacre of June 12. It is clear we live in a world where fear of “the

Enos is a 34-year-old cook in Togo, a West African country that, according to BBC News has “for years been the target of criticism over its human rights record and political governance.” Its law against homosexuals is clear, and the society Enos lives in looks upon homosexuals as less than human. One day, his path crossed with Kathy Moore’s. Kathy and her partner Linda were a couple for 26 years. Same-sex marriage was not yet legal in Rhode Island, but they were able to get a civil union before Linda passed away in December of 2012. Thankfully, they were grandfathered into the current legislation, and Kathy collects Linda’s Social Security benefits. As a way to keep busy, as well as a way

to honor Linda, Kathy became involved in a mission of compassion. She is an X-ray technician, and became inspired to bring an X-ray machine to a clinic after in Togo learning how children there could benefit from it. Without proper diagnoses, these children were given wide-spectrum meds – if they could afford them – that were not always effective. In July of 2015, Kathy and a Brown University student went to Togo to prepare the clinic for the arrival of the machine. This clinic now offers free X-rays in a city of 250,000 people, where there had previously been only one other machine. She hired a small staff: two interpreters, a chef (Enos), and a driver. They became a family. Enos was very impressed by Kathy’s kindness. One day he walked her home and told her he was thinking of rejecting the norms of his society and pursuing a single life rather than marrying. He asked Kathy how she felt about being a single woman. In this moment, Kathy had a choice: she could share her truth or brush

Options | August 2016

“People on whom I could count all have abandoned me. I am now considered and treated as a person who has lost his head – a person animated by the devil or ‘evil gay spirit’ and they tell me that I need spiritual healing. I am so saddened at times I feel like abandoning everything.

off his question with a simple nondescript answer. She chose the former, and told Enos that for most of her adult life she had been with Linda. She told him part of the reason she was working in Togo was to honor her memory. Enos now says, “I am Christian and I live in a conservative society in which education and thus the opening of the mind is limited. Like everyone, I have always been hostile toward homosexuals and about all matters relating to homosexuality. I supported the imprisonment of homosexuals and even their executions. Just a few years ago, I started to change my mentality, thanks to a meeting and travel I’ve done in some countries of our region. Then, I met Kathy Moore and that changed my life, my way of reading people, and of seeing things. I could not imagine such a generous person. Kathy sacrificed herself to bring us her assistance despite the fear she felt of being badly treated. So I started out thinking and by asking myself questions. How could I treat homosexuals as mentally ill? Are there any differences between us? I made the decision to act, to help the world understand that we have no reason to be homophobic. I decided to try and protect these people I [once] hated, to love and protect them because I have great regret and shame. “In Togo, homosexuality is punishable by law, including the Penal Code in its Article 88. In addition to the punishment by public authority, almost all families are opposed to [homosexuality], which is still generally taboo in Africa. For these families in Togo, it is a humiliation seeing a family member engage in such a practice. And so, some parents will spare no cost to eliminate this abomination from their son or daughter. A person suspected of homosexual practice

Options | August 2016

is regularly provoked in public places like a market for example. If he reacts, he is beaten by the crowd. If exposed, they can become targets of verbal and physical violence. Children are abandoned by their parents and they are denied education because of their sexual orientation.” Enos’ reception from the government for the creation of his association, called “Accept the Difference,” was cool at first. He had to write the statutes of the organization and submit them to the Ministry of Administration. In the beginning, he clearly wrote the goals for the association to defend the rights of homosexuals. Finally, a friend introduced him to a very nice man and secretary of another association who explained to him the risks he would run into with the homophobic ministry staff, and helped him revise the mission.

“I often meet and talk with people who feel the same as me on the subject, who do not wish to speak out as I have. I notice that people are not informed and educated on the subject; they just follow the majority. I am sad for my family because I have realized a level of maturity in my mind and heart and my understanding of the world in which I live.” It is through honest dialogue and with open hearts that both Kathy and Enos have made a difference. The American states that are choosing the path of nonacceptance are giving us all an opportunity to begin our own dialogues. Perhaps we can then remember what we all have in common. Open minds and open hearts become the seeds for a world where we all can live in peace with the truth of our hearts. q

Here are the goals of Accept the Difference: - Operate for human rights. - Allow exchanges on issues related to human rights. - Plead for and contribute to the promotion, protection, and defense of human rights.

Enos created the logo, and offers more information on this page: www. facebook.com/Accèpte-la-Différence206405099727202/?fref=ts.

Now, Accept the Difference is registered, and with the unfailing support of Kathy, Enos hopes to go forth and educate people. His organization has been granted permission to participate in school debates. Enos hopes he has ignited the flame of hope so that, one day, we will all learn to accept our differences. He has personally sacrificed to speak his truth.

Flickers RI International Film Festival’s

LGBTQ Sidebar T

he popular Providence LGBTQ Film Festival, a cinematic sidebar of the Flickers Rhode Island International Film Festival (RIIFF), will be held August 9-14, at The Vets Cinemathèque, the Metcalf Auditorium at the RISD Museum, and other locations in Providence. The festival kicks off in style August 9, at The Vets, One Avenue of the Arts in Providence, with a screening of premiere short films from around the globe and is capped off by the Gala Celebration Soirée. Now in its 17th year, the Providence LGBTQ Film Festival brings Rhode Island filmgoers a diverse sampling of over 40 international and domestic films made by and for members of the LGBTQ community. Discussion panels with filmmakers and LGBTQ community members will follow select screenings. This year’s themes include the state of modern relationships in the community, how comedy can be used to defuse conflict, the political backlash to marriage equality, religious freedom laws, hate crimes, and issues confronting the transgender community. Here are some highlights: Arrival. A hand-drawn animated film that combines stunning visuals with a personal coming-out story portraying a uniquely modern LGBTQ couple. The 22-minute film was traditionally animated onto paper and is comprised of roughly 7,000 drawings, which were scanned, then digitally inked and colored. Finding Kim. Have you ever felt as though your brain doesn’t match your body? That everything you were told you should be, you weren’t? Follow the incredible and honest journey of a truly remarkable individual managing the beginnings of gender reassignment at 50 years old. Interviews within the film include Dan Savage, Carmen Carerra, Calpernia Addams, and Buck Angel.

by Shawn Quirk

by many. Considered the most important piece of Hollywood memorabilia, the slippers were the catalyst leading to the multimillion-dollar industry of Hollywood collecting. The Happys. Twenty-one year old Tracy walks in on her aspiring movie star boyfriend having sex with a man. If he agrees to marry her, she’ll forget the whole thing ever happened. As she discovers her sense of self and true passion for cooking, Tracy forces everyone around her to grow and connect in unforeseen ways. The cast includes Janeane Garofalo and The Walking Dead’s Melissa McBride, with an original score by Patrick Sansone of Wilco. The Guys Next Door. This documentary tells the tale of Erik and Sandro, a gay couple whose friend Rachel is the surrogate for their two daughters. Rachel, a married woman in her forties, has a husband and three children. Spanning more than three years, the film explores the struggles and possibilities that creating a family brings. q

riiff.20

rhode island international © film festival aug.9-14.16

Flickers is a 501(c)(3) non-profit arts organization supported by the Rhode Island Foundation’s Equity Action Fund. For a full listing of the screenings and their descriptions, visit http://riff.festivalgenius. com/2016/films/category/LGBTQ. For advance tickets or student, group, and senior discounts, visit www.RIFilmFest.org, call 861-4445, or email info@film-festival.org.

The Slippers pulls back the Wizard’s curtain to reveal the cultural impact of Dorothy’s ruby slippers. Through firsthand accounts and archival interviews, we follow the life of the slippers after their sale at the famed 1970 MGM auction. Discovered by costumer Kent Warner, it is unclear how many pairs exist. They have been bought, stolen, and coveted

Options | August 2016

Summer at YPI

13 13

don’t grow up invisible

Youth Pride Inc.

t Youth Pride Inc., we are using summer 2016 as an opportunity to connect and collaborate with several of our neighboring youth-focused community partners by hosting two youth leadership development programs. Community Environmental College (CEC) is a collaboration among Environmental Community Organizers (ECO Youth), Youth Pride Inc. (YPI), and the Providence Student Union. This youth empowerment program, launched in 2009 by the Environmental Justice League of Rhode Island, has grown into a collaborative youth organizing experience. The six-week summer program is governed and taught by youth organizers from Providence Student Union, ECO Youth, and YPI. Together we aim to develop the critical social, environmental, and organizing skills of Rhode Island youth ages 12-19.

by Jesus Holguin

YPI is also collaborating with New Urban Arts on another youth leadership development program called the Unentitlement Program, a part of the Summer Art Internships program. Through Unentitlement, youth explore issues of sexism, racism, and privilege through creative writing and conversation. Teneka Cooke, a YPI youth participant, commented that “it’s an eyeopening experience to learn about the issues.” Another youth, Ben Chaplin, added that “it’s like a whole community” when organizations like New Urban Arts and Youth Pride Inc. are able to come together. q Youth Pride Inc. provides support, education, and advocacy for LGBTQQ young people ages 9-23. Our Drop-in Center is at 473 Westminster Street, Providence, RI 02903. Visit www.youthprideri.org, email info@youthprideri.org, or call (401) 421-5626 for more info.

Participants will take four classes. “Food Justice” discusses food deserts, GMOs, factory farms, and the fast food industry. “Environmental Justice” discusses pollutants and toxins within and outside the home, and how your zip code can be the biggest predictor of your overall health. “Revolutionary 101” explores different social inequities based on race, class, gender, etc., and teaches students ways to apply leadership and address these problems with an intersectional focus. “Organizing 101” aims to cultivate students’ organizing skills by teaching them the importance of their own personal narratives. The CEC integrates youth leadership into the structure and fabric of the program. All graduating students present their action projects at graduation. Former CEC graduates are hired as teachers.

Options | August 2016

by Patrick Smock, Chairman SAGERhode Island Board of Directors

AGE-Rhode Island has been busy during the past few months. In March, we brought attention in the press, radio, and television to the North Carolina Anti-GLBT Law. Working with older GLBT adults was the focus of the SAGE-Rhode Island Spring Conference held in April. A committee of volunteers hosted May’s Put a Little Silver in Your Rainbow fundraiser. Many volunteers displayed and staffed our booth at the 2016 PrideFest. All the while, SAGERhode Island has been hosting Gen Silent movie events and participating in the Long Term Care Planning Committee. As we move into the final days of summer, SAGE-Rhode Island looks ahead to its annual meeting, a fall conference, and continuing programming and presentations.

Island accomplish its mission in identifying, addressing, and bringing attention to issues related to aging among the members of the GLBT community? How does SAGE-Rhode Island partner with constituents, allies, and stakeholders in Rhode Island to create a culture in which older GLBT members of the community can enjoy a high quality of life?

But is this what we should be doing? The SAGE-Rhode Island Board is asking for community input as to what is needed for GLBT elders. How can SAGE-Rhode

Do you have a special talent or skill, or would you just like to volunteer to help SAGE-Rhode Island put these ideas into action? Let us know and we will

SAGE-Rhode Island needs your ideas, questions, response, and comments. Please reach out to us via telephone, e-mail, snail mail – any way that’s convenient for you. The SAGE-Rhode Island Board is committed to acknowledging receipt of your input and putting your ideas into an action plan – an action plan that the SAGE-Rhode Island Board will ask for assistance in implementing.

reach out to you for your assistance. You don’t have the time to assist in the next steps of the organization? SAGE-Rhode Island can always use new members. Members help us show our funders the need for our programs, and the fees help us to maintain an organization that is supporting aging members of the GLBT community and advocating for their rights. We welcome your input and time in promoting positive images of GLBT life in later years. q SAGE-RI (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders) addresses issues of concern to LGBT elders and is an organization of diverse people of all ages. For information on programs or to join SAGE-RI, write to sageriinfo@gmail.com; call (401) 4434451; send a letter to SAGE-RI c/o CareLink, 1 Virginia Avenue, Providence, RI 02905; visit www.sage-ri.org, or find SAGE/Rhode Island on Facebook.

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Options | August 2016

Where do you find your

LGBTQ Feminism in RI? Jodi Glass asks Mev Miller Jodi: Tell us a little bit about who you are. Mev: My name is Mev Miller. I’m a person skilled in many things but a master of none: musician, gardener, photographer, artist/crafter, philosopher-spiritual (no longer religious). I am an educator, writer, and editor. I worked in the independent publishing/bookstore movement for about 20 years promoting LGB, feminist, and leftist books, and was a cooperative owner of the Amazon feminist bookstore in Minneapolis in the 90s. I started a national women’s literacy organization, WE LEARN (Women Expanding Literacy Education Action Resource Network) in 2000, which incorporated in 2003. I resigned as Executive Director in 2012. WE LEARN (welearnwomen.org) is still run by a working board. Currently, I work as the Life Skills Manager and Internship Coordinator for the Community Kitchen culinary job training program at the RI Community Food Bank. Jodi: When did you first identify as a feminist? Mev: When I was quite young, maybe six or seven (1960). I didn’t use the word for myself until the late 70s. My age and family location made me a late bloomer. I always felt just a step behind all the action of the 60s and movement

Options | August 2016

building of the 70s. I came out as a lesbian radical in the 1980s, while working at a feminist vegetarian restaurant (Bloodroot in Bridgeport, CT) where our days were filled with reading and discussion while we worked. This fed me nutritionally and culturally. I was also part of the radical separatist movement in the late 80-90s. I read voraciously at that time and had a community to discuss what was meant by what we read. I believe feminism needs community engagement, and this is what I had in that environment. Jodi: How do you define feminism? Mev: Feminism is women-centered… [prioritizing] justice and equity (not equality) and addresses oppressions in all forms, knowing that all oppressions use sexism as the driving force. While gender is part of the discussion, feminism is not just about gender. It’s about understanding the ways women are oppressed and injured and destroyed, and seeking ways to have women’s lives honored and held as valuable. I believe that if the LGBT community got this, then we’d make better sense of oppression based on sexuality.

pockets here and there. I’ve only been here since 2003, but still feel a little like an outsider looking in. I also haven’t done much myself to create the feminist community I want. But I also find it harder to be consistently involved with lesbian feminists. The community here has always seemed [to have] more gay and trans male-centered agendas than lesbians moved by feminism. Jodi: How can we, as a community, keep feminism alive and thriving? Mev: I believe this really needs to be in community. Facebook or social media can count, but I find this disconnected and elusive. [I have] some suggestions. Start or join a book group or Gertrude Stein-type soirée discussions. Start or join a singing circle that seeks music expressive to a feminist passion or sensitivity. Start an OLOC (Old Lesbians Organizing for Change) group; read the OLOC newsletter. Participate in some other feminist-identified group that takes action against social oppressions. [Prioritize] common work and ongoing discussion. I really believe we need ongoing involvement in diverse communities in order to stay engaged in moving feminist viewpoints forward [to take] action for equity. q

Jodi: Where do you find feminism in RI today? Mev: I can’t say that I do…. Informal

Providence is going

BOGO for ACOS

by Christopher Dalpe

Buy One, Give One On Saturday, August 20, get ready to BOGO – Buy One Give One. Buy a drink, double the price, and donate. Half goes to the bar and the other half supports HIV/ AIDS services in Rhode Island. It’s that simple, folks. Just stop in at a participating bar and let them know you want to BOGO. We are proud to announce you can BOGO at all of these Providence businesses downtown on the 20th: The Providence Eagle, 124 Snow Street; EGO, 73 Richmond Street;The Dark Lady & Alleycat, 17 & 19 Snow Street; Mirabar, 15 Elbow Street; The Village, 373 Richmond Street; and The Stable, 125 Washington Street. Thanks to the community support we receive from these amazing businesses, we are able to continue to do the work we do. Please drink responsibly and be sure to tip your bartenders.

Drag Entertainment and Promotion Shows featuring Rhode Island’s finest female impersonators, customized for your special event. For booking information, call 774-240-2760.

Red Ribbon Auction 2016 Looking to promote and advertise your business? Want to reach thousands of local Rhode Islanders as well as potential customers all over the United States? The Red Ribbon Auction is live online during the month of October and opens the door to thousands of people nationwide to bid and learn about all Rhode Island has to offer. Gift certificates, services, jewelry, vacations, clothing, electronics, and more will be bid on to support those living with HIV in Rhode Island. Our goals are to provide as much visibility as possible for our donors and raise much-needed funds to support our expanding programs. AIDS Care Ocean State wants you to be an integral part of the Red Ribbon Auction. You can donate today by simply filling out the donation form at aidscareos.org and sending it back to us before September 2. Every contribution is important and helps us reach our fundraising goals.

JDHS PHOTOS

Wait, what happened to ArtBeat? AIDS Care Ocean State is changing it up this season, and we are excited to announce that Art [With a Different] Beat will take place in the Spring of 2017. Art [With a Different] Beat will include a juried art contest and party to support our programs and services. More details will be released soon, so stay tuned and spread the word. q AIDS Care Ocean State provides comprehensive AIDS service, supportive housing, emergency funds, and a Speakers Bureau. Located at 18 Parkis Avenue, Providence. (401) 521-3603. Appointments: (401) 781-0665. aidscareos.org.

JDHSPHOTOS.COM 401.624.6698 JDHSPHOTOS@VERIZON.NET Options | August 2016

Options | August 2016

RESOURCES

Options originated in 1982 as the offical newsletter of the Rhode Island Gay Task Force. Editor Jos Fayette explained, “The RIGTF wants to make the homosexual community aware of their options as gay men and women in Rhode Island. And it’s only because we live, work, love, and play in this state that there are such a large number of options available to all of us.” Options has always, and will continue to print LGBTQ resources so that you can, as Fayette went on to say, “Exercise your OPTIONS today to make positive changes in your life tomorrow.” Help us help you! Email info@optionsri.org if you come across a resource listing that needs updating. New, updated, and featured resources are highlighted. Phone numbers are in the 401 area code and addresses are in Rhode Island, unless otherwise indicated.

Addiction Support Groups AA Brothers in Sobriety: Saturday 7:30pm. 372 Wayland Avenue, Providence. 751-9328. Alcohol/Drug Helpline: RI Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependence. 24hr. (866) 252-3784. RI LGBT AA Group: Tuesdays 7 -- 8 pm Bell Street Chapel, 5 Bell St., Providence, 273-5678. All are welcome. Seven Hills Behavioral Health: Addiction support services and Narcan. 1173 Acushnet Avenue, New Bedford, MA, 508999-4159. 310 S. Main Street, Fall River, MA, 508-235-1012.

Leonard Amaral, Program Manager, lamaral@sevenhills.org. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous: 12-step program. Fridays at 7pm. Providence Presbyterian Church, 500 Hope Street, Providence, side entrance, downstairs to the left. Gay, but all are welcome. Young People’s Sexual Diversity meeting of AA. Fridays at 7pm at Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health, 250 Main St., Pawtucket. 489-5513.

AIDS/Health Resources AFIA Center for Health & Wholeness: Meals, food pantry, HIV support groups, recovery groups, recreational and social activities. Sponsored by AIDS Project RI. Free to clients. Wednesday and Thursday 12-3pm. Mathewson Street Church, 134 Mathewson Street, Providence. Contact Gordon Cooper, 331-1350 ext. 3268. info@uwri.org. www.familyserviceri.org. AIDS Action Hotline: MA only. (800) 235-2331. www.aac.org. AIDS Care Ocean State: Confidential HIV & Hep C testing, safer-sex supplies, case management, emergency funds, clinical services, assisted and supportive housing for people living with HIV/AIDS, street outreach, ENCORE, HIV+ support groups. Speaker’s Bureau, 18 Parkis Ave., Providence. 521-3603 (call 781-0665 to schedule an appointment). www.aidscareos.org. AIDS Project RI: Division of Family Service of RI. Case management, buddies, COBRA and dental services, emergency fund, mental health counseling, nutrition support, assessment and referral, wellness programs, advocacy, strength training, prevention education, HIV testing. 9 Pleasant Street, Providence. 831-5522 www.aidsprojectri.org.

AIDS Quilt RI: Displays local AIDS memorial quilt panels, panel-making programs including Anna’s Workshop, HIV/AIDS education for young people. PO Box 2591, Newport. 434-4880. admin@aidsquiltri.org. www.aidsquiltri.org. Brown University AIDS Program: Clinical trials, public policy, research, lectures, conferences, patient and community education. 121 South Main Street, Second Floor, Providence. 863-6790. brunap@brown.edu. brown.edu/Departments/BRUNAP. Community Care Alliance: Case management, support, personal care items for people living with HIV/AIDS in northern Rhode Island. 245 Main Street, Woonsocket. 235-6092. lcohen@famresri.org. Comprehensive Community Action Programs: Medical, mental health, dental, social services, LGBT outreach. 311 Doric Avenue, Cranston. Also Coventry, Pawtucket, and Warwick. 467-9610. Gabriel Care, LLC: Nursing/social worker case management and financial compensation for assistance and supervision for those living with HIV. MassHealth funded for MA residents. 376 South Main Street, Fall River, MA. Contact Jenn, (508) 678-1002.

Options | August 2016

HIV Antibody Testing: Anonymous.Free or sliding scale.RI Department of Health. Providence, Newport and other locations. 222-2320. Home and Hospice Care of RI: Medical care management for HIV/AIDS. 24hr nursing staff for treatment. 1085 North Main Street, Providence. Referrals: 782-0725. Bereavement groups: Contact John Charette, 727-7079. Main Office: 415-4200 or toll-free 800-338-6555. www.hhcri.org. House of Compassion: HIV/AIDS housing. 2510 Mendon Road, Cumberland. 658-3992. LGBT Caregiver Online Support Group: For LGBTs caring for someone with chronic health problems. www.caregiver.org Luis E. Martinez House CHS, Inc.: Supportive, permanent housing for 10 adults living with HIV/AIDS and/or substance abuse. New Bedford, MA. Contact Joe Taylor. (508) 984-7514. Partners in Learning About AIDS: Outreach to minorities, women of color, and LGBT community at clubs and other locations. North Providence office provides free condoms and information about STIs and post-exposure prophylaxis for HIV. 1006 Charles Street, Suite 5, North Providence. 484-7523. info@plaidsproject.org. www.plaidsproject.org. Planned Parenthood of So. New England: Confidential, lowcost, same-day & walk-in STD and HIV testing. Commonsense approach to health. 111 Point St., Providence. 800-230-7526. www.ppsne.org. Project Weber: Services for male sex workers. Drop-in center, support groups, HIV and Hep C testing, clean needles. 383-4888. www.projectweber.org.

Seven Hills HIV Prevention & Screening: TWIST program, HIV and STI prevention and testing,partner care.1173AcushnetAvenue, New Bedford, MA, 508-999-4159. 310 S. Main Street, Fall River, MA, 508-235-1012. Contact Leonard Amaral, lamaral@sevenhills.org. SSTAR (Stanley Street Treatment & Resources): Counseling, drug treatment, detox, domestic violence programs, free and confidential HIV, HEP C, and STD testing, education, case management and support. MA and RI locations. 386 Stanley Street, Fall River, MA. (508) 679-5222. Project Aware (HIV/HCV); (508) 324-3561. Family Healthcare Center; (508) 675-1054. www.sstar.org. Steppingstone, Inc.: Welcome Home Medical case management program. One-on-one peer support in Somerset to Wareham area. HIV support groups available. Free and open to any HIV+ person 18+. 5 Dover Street, New Bedford, MA. (508) 984-7514. www.steppingstoneinc.org. Tranquil Mind & Wellness: Counseling, alternative healing, yoga, Pilates, meditation.109 Rhode Island Road, Lakeville, MA. (508) 947-1683. www.tranquilmind.net. Thundermist Health Center: Provides HIV/AIDS services including medical care and treatment by an HIV specialist, dental care, behavioral health counseling, nutritional assessment and counseling, pharmacy consultation, free and confidential HIV testing. 450 Clinton Street, Woonsocket. Contact Philip Kane. 767-4100 ext. 3516.

The Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health: Education, pleasure, health, advocacy. Tues. -- Sat. 12 -- 6 and by appointment. 250 Main Street, Unit 1, Pawtucket. 489-5513. www.thecsph.org. Fenway Community Center LGBT Helpline: Support, information and referrals. Fenway Community Health Center, Boston. Open daily 6-11pm. (617) 267-9001 or 888-340-452 Foster Parents needed for newborns to age six. Visit www. chidrensfriendri.org or call Joyce, 276-4318. GLBT National Help Center Hotline: Local resources nationwide provided by social services agency. 888-843-4564.

www.glbtnationalhelpcenter.org. Newport Out: LGBT website for Newport. www.newportout.com. RILGBT-News: Low-volume email distribution list for LGBT & AIDS news from RI. Not a discussion list. To subscribe: tinawood@cox.net. South Coast LGBTQ Network: Information & advocacy network for individuals of all ages. 774-371-0711. info@ sclgbtqnetwork.org. www.sclgbtqnetwork.org. United Way of RI Referral Line: 2-1-1 on your telephone.

Information/Education

Options | August 2016

Nightlife The Alley Cat Providence: Downtown neighborhood bar. Monday-Thursday 3pm-1am, Friday 3pm-2am, Saturday 2pm2am, Sunday 2pm-1am. 19 Snow Street, Providence. 272-6369. Bobby’s Place: Dancing, pool, video lounge, karaoke. SundayWednesday 5pm-1am, Thursday-Saturday 5pm-2am. 62 Weir Street,Taunton, MA. (508) 824-9997. www.bobbysplacema.com. Brooklyn Coffee Tea House: 209 Douglas Ave., Providence: public/private venue for music, art, film screenings, weddings, showers, etc. RHODYWOOD@yahoo.com; 359-0192. Club Body Center: Gay men’s sauna. Membership required. One-day pass available. Open 24hr. 257 Weybosset Street, Providence. 274-0298. www.cbcresorts.com. The Dark Lady: Downtown bar and nightclub. TuesdayThursday 9pm-1am, Friday & Saturday 9pm-3am, Sunday 9pm1am. 17 Snow Street, Providence. 272-6369. EGO: Providence’s newest gay nightlife performance/event space. Sunday and Thursday 9pm-1am, Friday and Saturday 10pm-3am, 73 Richmond St, Providence. 383-1208. www.egopvd.com.

Indigo Lounge: 599 Tiogue Ave, Coventry RI 02816. Breakfast buffet, specialty pizzas, T Dances, live entertainment, karaoke Thurs. Hours vary, closed Mon. www.indigopizza.com. Mirabar: Downtown bar and nightclub. Monday-Thursday 3pm-1am, Friday and Saturday 3pm-2am, Sunday 3pm-1am. 15 Elbow Street, Providence. 331-6761. www.mirabar.com. Providence Eagle: Leather, Levi, bear cruise bar. MondayThursday 2pm-1am, Friday 2pm-2am, Saturday-Sunday 12pm2am. 124 Snow Street, Providence. 421-1447. The Stable: Downtown video bar. No cover. Monday-Thursday 2pm-1am, Friday 2pm-2am, Saturday 12pm-2am, Sunday 12pm1am. 125 Washington Street, Providence. 272-6950. The Village: Downtown Providence’s newest LGBT owned and operated restaurant and live entertainment venue. Lunch & dinner Wednesday through Sunday for varying hours. 373 Richmond St. 228-7222, www.thevillageri.com

Political & Legal Groups American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU): 128 Dorrance Street, Suite 220, Providence. 831-7171. riaclu.org. Amnesty International OUTfront: Program to campaign globally for LGBTQ human rights. (212) 807-8400. Cvohs18904@yahoo.com. www.amnestyusa.org. Brown University Queer Alliance: Student advocacy and support organization. queer@brown.edu. Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders (GLAD): LGBT/ HIV legal info hotline. Weekdays 1:30-4:30pm. 30 Winter Street, Suite 800, Boston, MA. (617) 436-1350 or (800) 455-GLAD. gladlaw@glad.org www.GLAD.org. Lambda Legal Defense & Education Fund: 120 Wall Street, Suite 1500, NY. (212) 809-8585. www.lambdalegal.org. Lawyers for Equality and Diversity (LEAD): Advocates for LGBT causes. lawyersforequality@gmail.com. National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Assoc./New England: Works for fair and accurate media coverage of LGBT issues. info@nlgja.org, www.nlgja.org.

The Next Thing (TNT): Political and support group for queer people of color located at Brown University. 863-3062. tnt@brown.edu. RI Commission on Prejudice and Bias: Hate crime awareness training program. www.hatecrimeri.org. RI Socialist Action: 952-5385, adgagneri@gmail.com. Spanish: 351-3514, walsil@cox.net. RI Human Rights Commission: Anti-discrimination law enforcement agency with jurisdiction in employment, housing, public accommodations, and credit. 180 Westminster Street, 3rd floor, Providence. 222-2662 TTY: 222-2664, richr.ri.gov. Scouts for Equality: An organization composed largely of Boy Scouts of America alumni dedicated to ending the BSA’s ban on gay members and leaders. Contact Carol Crowther. ccrowther1@gmail.com. Facebook.com/riscoutsforequality. Servicemembers Legal Defense Network: Serving LGBT military personnel and veterans. PO Box 65301, Washington DC. (202) 328-3244. or (800) 538-7418. sldn@sldn.org. www.sldn.org.

Options | August 2016

Religious & Spiritual All Saints Memorial Church: 674Westminster Street, Providence. 751-1747. asmcri@verizon.net. www.allsaintsmemorial.org. Amicable Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming. Pastor William Sterrett. Sunday 10am. 3736 Main Road, Tiverton. 624-4611. amicablechurch@aol.com, www.amicablechurch.org. Association of Welcoming & Affirming Baptists: robin@awab.org, www.awab.org. Barrington Congregational Church: UCC. “The white church.” Sundays 10am. 461 County Road, Barrington. 246-0111. office@bccucc.org, www.bccucc.org. Bell Street Chapel: Unitarian Universalist. A Welcoming Congregation. Rev. Margaret Weis. Sundays 10am. 5 Bell Street, Providence. 273-5678. www.bellstreetchapel.org. Beneficent Congregational Church: UCC. An Open & Affirming congregation in the heart of Providence. Co-Pastors Todd & Nicole Yonkman. Sundays 10am. 300 Weybosset Street, Providence. 331-9844. BeneficentChurchUCC@gmail.com, www.beneficentchurch.org. Berean Baptist Church: A safe and welcoming place for all God’s children. Sunday 10am. 474 Chapel Street, Harrisville. 568-5411. bereanbaptist@verizon.net. www.bereanri.org. Calvary United Methodist Church of Middletown: LGBTQ early dementia support group. Contact Amy. Sundays 10:30am. 200 Turner Road, Middletown. 847-6181, www.middletownmethodist.com. Central Congregational Church: UCC.An Opening & Affirming Congregation. Sundays 10:30am. 296 Angell Street, Providence. 331-1960. www.centralchurch.us. Channing Memorial Church: Unitarian Universalist. A Welcoming Congregation. Sundays 10am. 135 Pelham Street, Newport. 846-0643. administrator@channingchurch.org. www.channingchurch.org. Charter Oak Grove ADF: An Open and Welcoming Congregation of Neo-pagan Druids in CT. charteroakadf@gmail. com, www.charteroakadf.org. Christ Church in Lonsdale: Episcopal. 1643 Lonsdale Avenue, Lincoln. Services 8am and 10:30am. 725-1920. office@christchurchlincoln.org. www.christchurchlincoln.org. Church of the Ascension, 390 Pontiac Ave., Cranston, RI 02910. Sundays at 10am. 461-5811. www.ascensioncranston.org. Church of the Epiphany: A diverse Open & Affirming Episcopal congregation. 1336 Pawtucket Avenue, East Providence. 434-5012. info@epiphanyep.org, www.epiphanyep.org.

Options | August 2016

The Chapel of the Holy Spirit: Independent Old Catholic. Fr. Jakob Lazarus. Sunday 9am and 6pm. 155 Douglas Avenue, Providence. 218-0706. www.holyparaclete.org. Church of the Redeemer, a Welcoming Episcopal church. 655 Hope St., Providence. www.redeemerprovidence.org. office@ redeemerprovidence.org. Rev. Patrick Campbell, 331-0678. Concordia Center for Spiritual Living: A diverse community welcoming all spiritual paths to God. Sunday Celebration 9:15am. 292 W. Shore Rd., Warwick. Rev. Ian Taylor, 732-1552. info@concordiachurchri.com. www.ConcordiaCSL.com. Edgewood Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming. Service 10am. 1788 Broad Street, Cranston. 461-1344. office@edgewoodchurchri.org. www.edgewoodchurchri.org. Emmanuel Episcopal Church: Sundays 8 and 9:30am. 120 Nate Whipple Highway, Cumberland. 658-1506. office@emmanuelri.org. www.emmanuelri.org. First Congregational Church in Bristol: An Open and Affirming Congregation. Skip Macaulay, Interim Pastor. 281 High Street, Bristol. 253-7288. www.fccbristol.org. First Unitarian Church: A welcoming congregation. Sunday 10:30am. 1 Benevolent Street, Providence. 421-7970. admin@firstunitarianprov.org, www.firstunitarianprov.org. First Unitarian Church: Service 11am. 71 8th Street, New Bedford, MA. (508) 994-9686. admin@uunewbedford.org, www.uunewbedford.org. First Universalist Society: UU. Welcoming congregation. Samegender weddings. 262 Chestnut Street, Franklin, MA. (508) 5285348. fusf@verizon.net, www.fusf.org. Foxboro Universalist Church: UUA. Service 10am. 6 Bird Street, Foxboro, MA. 508-543-4002. chair@uufoxborough.org. www.uufoxborough.org. Grace Episcopal Church in Providence: 175 Mathewson Street, Providence. 331-3225. hello@gracechurchprovidence.org. www.gracechurchprovidence.org. Hopedale Unitarian Parish: Sundays 10:30 am. 65 Hopedale St., Hopedale, MA. www.hopedaleunitarian.org, 508-473-0745. Rev. Tony Lorenzen. Immanuel Lutheran Church: A Reconciling in Christ congregation. Pastor Sandra Demmler D’Amico. 647 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-2898. www.immanuellc.org. Interweave at Channing Memorial UU Church: Organization for the spiritual, political and social well-being of LGBTQ persons, and their allies, confronting oppression. 135 Pelham Street, Newport. 846-0643.

Lutheran Church of the Good Shepherd: A “Reconciling in Christ” congregation (Welcoming). 3383 Old North Rd., Kingston, RI. Sundays 9 am. Pastor Mary Hansen-Joyce. 789-7776; office@ goodshepherdri.org Mathewson St. Church: United Methodist. 134 Mathewson Street, Providence. 331-8900. MathewsonStUMC@gmail.com. Mercy of God Community: Christian, inclusive religious order. mercycomm@yahoo.com, www.mgc.org. Murray Unitarian Universalist Church: Marriage and commitment ceremonies for all. Rev. Bob McKetchnie. 505 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-0505 www.murrayuuchurch.org. Newman Congregational Church: Open & Affirming. 100 Newman Avenue, Rumford. 434-4742. www.newmanucc.org. Newport Congregational Church: UCC. Open & Affirming. Rev. Hayes and Rev. Baker. 73 Pelham Street, Newport. 849-2238. Park Place Congregational Church: 71 Park Place, Pawtucket. 726-2800. office@ppucc.necoxmail.com, www.parkplaceucc.com. The Pub Church: An Open & Affirming church that meets in a pub. Location may change. Saturday 5pm. The Dugout, 722 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, MA. thepubchurch@gmail.com. Pilgrim Lutheran Church: An inclusive congregation. Sundays 8 and 9:30am. 1817 Warwick Avenue, Warwick. 739-2937. parishasst@pilgrimlutheranri.org, pilgrimlutheranri.jimdo.com. Pilgrim United Church of Christ: Open and Affirming. 635 Purchase Street, New Bedford, MA. (508)-997-9086. Riverside Church: UCC.15 Oak Avenue, Riverside. Service 10am. 433-2039. www.rcc-ucc.com. St. Augustine’s Church and Episcopal Center at URI: 15 Lower College Road, Kingston. 783-2153. Sundays 8am and 10am. StAugustinesChurch@necoxmail.com, www.staugustineuri.org. St. James Church: Episcopal. 474 Fruit Hill Avenue, North Providence. 353-2079. St. Martin’s Episcopal Church: Sundays 8 and 10am. 50 Orchard Avenue, Providence. 751-2141. StMartinsNB.Secretary@gmail. com, www.stmartinsprov.org. St. Martin’s Episcopal Church: Welcoming Church. Monthly LGBT Eucharist. 136 Rivet Street, New Bedford, MA. (508)994-8972. stmartins1887@comcast.com, www.stmartinsma.org. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church: Sundays 9am.50 Park Place,Pawtucket. 728-4300. office@stpaulspawtucket.org, www.stpaulspawtucket.org. St. Paul’s Church: A welcoming Episcopal church. Sundays 9am. 2679 East Main Street, Portsmouth. 683-1164. stpaulsportsmouthri.org.

St. Peter & St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church: 25 Pomona Avenue, Providence. 272-9649.stpanda25@verizon.net. www.stpeters-standrews.org. Saint Therese Old Catholic Church: Open & Affirming. Fr. David Martins. Sunday 10:30am. 1500 Main St., W. Warwick, RI 02893. 680-9076. stocc134@gmail.com, www.saintthereseocc.org. Second Congregational Church of Attleboro: UCC. Open & Affirming. 50 Park Street, Attleboro, MA. Sunday 10am. (508) 2224677. office2nd@verizon.net. www.attleborosecondchurch.org. Seekonk Congregational Church: Open & Affirming. Sundays 9 and 10:30am. Rev. Joy Utter, 600 Fall River Ave., Seekonk, MA. (508) 336-9355. sccucc@verizon.net. www.scc-ucc.com. Soka Gakkai: Buddhist association for peace, culture, and education. Contact for weekly meetings in Providence. 930 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston. (617) 264-2000. www.sgi-usa.org. Temple Agudas Achim: Reconstructionist congregation. 901 North Main Street, Attleboro, MA. (508) 222-2243. office@agudasma.org, www.agudasma.org. Temple Beth-El: Rabbi Sarah E. Mack. 70 Orchard Avenue, Providence. 331-6070. info@temple-beth-el.org, www.temple-beth-el.org. Temple Emanu-El: A welcoming Conservative congregation. Rabbi Wayne Franklin. 99 Taft Avenue, Providence. 331-1616. info@teprov.org, www.teprov.org. Temple Habonim: A warm, Welcoming Reform congregation. Rabbi Andrew Klein. 165 New Meadow Road, Barrington. 2456536. office@templehabonim.org, www.templehabonim.org. Temple Sinai: A Welcoming Reform temple. Rabbi Jeff Goldwasser, 30 Hagen Avenue, Cranston. 942-8350. webmaster@templesinairi.org, www.templesinairi.org. Unitarian Church in Fall River: Sunday 10:30am. 309 North Main Street, Fall River, MA. 508-678-9700. office@unitarianchurchfr.org, www.unitarianchurchfr.org. Unitarian Universalist Society of Fairhaven: Service 10:30am. 102 Green Street, Fairhaven, MA. (508) 992-7081. www. uufairhaven.org. Unitarian Universalist Congregation of South County: 27 North Road, Peace Dale. 783-4170 or Val 789-7282. uucscri@ yahoo.com. www.uusouthcountyri.org. United Congregational Church, 524 Valley Rd., Middletown RI 02842. A Welcoming congregation. Sunday, 10 am. www.UCCMiddletown.org. 849-5444. Westminster Unitarian Universalist Church: A UUA Welcoming Congregation. 119 Kenyon Avenue, East Greenwich. 884-5933. www.westminsteruu.org.

Social Organizations Bear Providence: Monthly social events for the bear community. www.bearprovidence.com Bisexual Resource Center: PO Box 170796, Boston, MA. (617) 4249595. brc@bicresource.net www.biresource.net. Biversity Boston: Mixed-gender social events for Boston and the surrounding area. (617) 424-9595. biversity-subscribe@biversity.org, www.biversity.org. Boston Bisexual Women’s Network: Social activities including monthly brunches, coming out groups and quarterly newsletter “Bi Woman Quarterly.” www.biwomenboston.org. Bears Ocean State (BOS): Informal e-group for gay & bisexual bearidentified and affiliated men for friendly companionship. All welcome. groups.yahoo.com/group/bearsoceanstate. Cape and Islands Gay & Straight Youth Alliance (CIGSYA): 56 Barnstable Road, Hyannis, MA. (508) 778-7744. info@cisgsya.org, www.cigsya.org. Communisong: For unity through song. Non-performance monthly singing session. www.communisong.net. CORISMA: Potluck get-togethers for couples from RI and southeast MA.

corismainfo@comcast.net, www.corismagroup.org. Gay Men’s Social Group: First Tuesdays, 6 -- 9pm, Seven Hills Behavioral Health, 1177 Acushnet Ave., New Bedford, MA. Refreshments. Info: Lenny Amaral, 508-999-4159 or lamaral@sevenhills.org. Imperial Court of RI at Providence: Drag and non-drag performers raise funds for local charities. All welcome to general membership meetings on first Monday at Dark Lady, 17 Snow Street, Providence. icri.prov@gmail.com. www.icriprov.org. Mixed Borders Gardening Group: Gardening and more. Monthly meetings, all welcome. Mixedborders@cox.net. www.mixedborders.com. Opera Club: Enjoy hearing and attending. Last Sunday of each month at 1pm. BrettCornellpi4@aol.com. Providence Gay Men’s Chorus: New season rehearsals begin in January and August. Singers and non-singing volunteers welcome. Monday 7-9:30pm. Beneficent Church, 300 Weybosset Street, Providence. www.provgmc.org. Queer Book Club: 3rd Wednesday, 7pm. Books on the Square, 471 Angell Street, Providence, queerbookclub@gmail.com.

Options | August 2016

RI Association of Gay Professionals: Networking and philanthropy. www.riagp.com. RI Parents Pride: Gay parents socializing together with their children. Contact Melanie. 464-2288. saphicangel120@yahoo.com. RI Pride: Open house 4th Wednesdays. Festival & Parade 3rd Saturday in June. Office: 1055 Westminster St., Providence 02903. Mail: PO Box 1082, Providence, 02903. 467-2130. info@prideri.com, www.prideri.com. RI Prime Timers: Social and networking group for older gay and bi men. Second Sunday. Call Steve, 996-3010. www.riprimetimers.org. RI Skeptics Society: Yearning to talk with someone rational? Refreshing discussion. Fourth Saturday. East Providence restaurant location. www.meetup.com/skeptics-133/. RI Women’s Association: Lesbian social group. 21+. Dances & events. www.riwa.net.

SAGE/RI (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders): Advocacy, education and social events for LGBT seniors. SAGE-RI at CareLink, 1 Virginia Ave., Providence, RI 02905. 443-4451. sageriinfo@gmail. com. www.sage-ri.org. SEMASSMEN: Social group for GBQ men of southeastern MA & RI to foster strong friendships. Semassmen-subscribe@ yahoogroups.com. rlevass@yahoo.com. Smart Monkey Gay Men’s Support Group. Meets twice monthly in Cranston to learn about integrity, intimacy and male roles. Write Paul (ctripaul@yahoo.com) or Steve (43dadzone@ gmail.com). South Coast Social Club for Gay & Bisexual Men: Social and networking opportunities for gay & bisexual men in S.E. Mass. www. southeastsocialclub.com. Yankee Lambda Car Club: Regional club for GLBT vintage and specialty car enthusiasts. www.yankeelcc.com.

Sports & Recreation

PrideSports Boston: Network of twenty-plus gay sports leagues/teams in Boston area. www.pridesportsboston.com. Boston Gay BASKETBALL League: ksg.bgbl@gmail.com, www.bgbl.com. BOATING: Yankee Cruising Club, New England’s club for LGBTQ boaters. www.yankeecruising.org. yankeecruisingclub@ gmail.com. Keith (508) 423-6123. Big Gay Al’s Duckpin BOWLING League: Proceeds benefit AIDS causes. Tuesday 6:30pm. 1463 Atwood Avenue, Town Hall Lanes, Johnston. Contact Frank Ferri. 831-6940.www.bgalbowling. com. www.townhalllanes.com. FIELD HOCKEY: Teamworks Somerset, 732 Lee’s River Ave., Somerset, MA. New season every 10 weeks. (508-676-3956) info@teamworkssomerset.com GALA Bowling League: Sundays 5:50 p.m., E. Providence Lanes, 80 Newport Ave., E. Providence. Season begins in Aug. View us on Facebook or email galabowling1990@gmail.com. FLAG (For Lesbians And Gays) FOOTBALL: Boston-based recreational football club. All skill levels are encouraged to participate. Saturday mornings in the fall and spring. www.flagflagfootball.com. Boston Pride HOCKEY: www.bostonpridehockey.org. Rondeaus KICKBOXING: 272-5425. www.rondeauskickboxing.com. Main Street MARTIAL ARTS: Non-profit. Welcoming dojo and community center. 1282 North Main Street, Providence. 274-7672.www.mainstma.org. Chiltern Mountain Club: OUTDOOR recreation club in New England. events@chiltern.org. www.chiltern.org. Boston Gay ROWERS: Worldwide online community for gay and lesbian rowers, coxies, coaches, and race officials. www.glrf.org. Boston Ironsides RUGBY Football: www.bostonironsides.org.

Options | August 2016

Providence Women’s RUGBY Club: Competitive and recreational. www.providencerugby.com Frontrunners Rhode Island RUNNING Group: Running and walking group. Newcomers welcome. Meet at the end of Blackstone Boulevard at Hope Street, Providence.Thursday 6pm. Contact Brian. 751-7643. bripm@cox.net, frontrunnersri@gmail.com Frontrunners Boston RUNNING Group: Morning walk/ run along the Charles River. Saturdays,10am. Club Cafe, 209 Columbus Avenue, Boston, MA. www.frontrunnersboston.org. OutRyders SKIING: New England’s largest gay and lesbian ski and snowboard club. www.outryders.org. Boston Strikers SOCCER Club: Non-profit social organization to learn and improve soccer skills in a relaxed, congenial environment. www.bostonstrikers.com. Renaissance City SOFTBALL League: New players and boosters always welcome. www.providencesoftball.org. Beantown SOFTBALL League: Friendly competition. 27 teams in four divisions of play: competitive, intermediate, and recreational. (617) 297-7490. www.beantownsoftball.com. LANES (Liquid Assets New England SWIMMING): Fitness and/or competition. (617) 937-5858. www.swim-lanes.org. TENNIS-4-All: Boston area tennis organization. www.tennis4all.org. Cambridge Boston VOLLEYBALL Association: Players of all skill levels welcome. secretary@cbvolleyball.net www.gayvolleyball.net. Ocean State Pride VOLLEYBALL League: Adult coed indoor league following USVBA rules. No try-outs. Fee applies. Kent County YMCA, 900 Centerville Road, Warwick. ospvolleyball@gmail.com. East Coast WRESTLING Club: (617)937.5858 x6. ecwc@juno.com. www.eastcoastwrestlingclub.org.

Students & Youth Bristol Community College The Lambda Connection: (TLC@ BCC) Robert Delaleu, Advisor; BCC-G118, 777 Elsbree St., Fall River, MA (774)357-4056. Brown University Queer Alliance: Umbrella organization at Brown University for LGBTQ groups. 863-3062. queer@brown. edu or lgbtq@brown.edu. CCRI Triangle Alliance: an LGBTQQ student-run group at CCRI, on the Flanagan, Liston, and Knight campuses. www.ccri.edu/triangle/. LGBT National Youth Talkline: 800-246-7743. Private oneto-one chat and info on local resources. Peer Listening Line: Youth-staffed hotline for GLBT youth. Support, info and referrals. 5-10pm. Fenway Community Health Center, Boston, MA. (617) 267-9001 or (800) 399-PEER. www. fenwayhealth.org. Queer & Trans Thursdays: *6-8pm. Space for LGBTQ and heterosexual youth (24 and under) of color to foster coalitionbuilding and organize to address intersections of oppressions. *669 Elmwood Ave., Rm. B7, Providence. www.prysm.us. 383-7450.

Salve Regina University – The Alliance: 100 Ochre Point Avenue, Newport. Contact: Benjamin Mead, benjamin.mead@ salve.edu S.H.E.P.A.R.D. (Stopping Homophobia, Eliminating Prejudices and Restoring Dignity): Providence College, 1 Cunningham Square, Providence. 865-1631. shepard@providence.edu. The Trevor Project: The only nationwide, around-the-clock crisis and suicide prevention helpline for LGBT youth. Also offers social networks. (866)4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386). thetrevorproject.org. University of RI LGBTIQ2: Alumni association. 874-5808. gsimonelli@uri.edu. URI LGBTQ Center: A cultural department for students, faculty and staff. Florence Badejo. 874-2894. Youth Pride Inc.: Support, education & advocacy for LGBTQQ young people ages 13--23. Tues. -- Fri. 2 -- 8pm. The Way Out peer support group Thurs. 4pm. Gender Spectrum support group Tues. 4pm. Visit our website for full calendar of events. 743 Westminster St., Providence. 421-5626. info@youthprideri.org. www.youthprideri.org.

Support Groups & Social Services Abuse Victims and Survivors: Support on phone for LGBTQ victims & survivors of partner abuse. Confidential peer-led groups. Hotline: (617) 742-4911.TTY: (617) 227-4911. advocate@tnlr.org. Adoption Options: Non-sectarian help. Jewish Family Service, 959 North Main Street, Providence. Contact Betsy Alper. 331-5437. www.adoptionoptions.org. Child & Family Services: Counseling, young parent support, adoption, more. LGBT groups beginning July. Open six days. 66 Troy St., Fall River, MA. (508) 676-5708. www.child-familyservices.org Community Care Alliance: Stipend, assistance, training provided by Family Resources Community Action. 235-6095. www.famresri.org. Foster parents needed: For newborn to age six. 276-4300. www.childrensfriendri.org. Family Service RI: Training, stipend, support provided for nurturing families. Family Service of RI. Contact Gregary Wright. 331-1350 ext. 3305. www.familyserviceri.org. Seven Hills Behavioral Health: HIV Prevention and Screening. 310 South Main Street, Fall River, MA. (508) 235-1012. T.W.I.S.T. (508) 672-0378. Blackstone Valley Advocacy Center: Offering resources for victims of domestic violence. 723-3057. www.bvadvocacycenter.org. Compass: FTM trans info, support and social group. Boston first Thursday 7-9pm. compassftm@gmail.com. www.compassftm.org. Crossroads RI Hotline: (800) 367-2700. Day One: Counseling & legal aid for victims of sexual assault/ abuse & incest. 24hr hotline. (800) 494-8100. 421-4100. www.dayoneri.org. Domestic Violence Resource Center of South County: Support, court advocacy, counseling, safe home, info for women and men in abusive or controlling relationships. 24hr free and confidential helpline. 782-3990 or toll free 800-494-8100, www.dvrcsc.org. Gay Fathers of Greater Boston: Support. 738 Main St. #323,

Waltham, MA. (781) 333-8429. info@gayfathersboston.org, www. gayfathersboston.org. Gay Men’s HIV+ Social Group: Third Tuesdays, 6 -- 9pm. Refreshments. Seven Hills Behavioral Health, 1177 Acushnet Ave., New Bedford, MA. Info: Lenny Amaral, 508-999-4159 or email lamaral@sevenhills.org. Gay Officers Action League (GOAL)/New England: Law enforcement officers (sworn & civilian), fire, rescue & publicly employed EMS. Confidential. P.O. Box 171587, Boston, MA 02117. www.newenglandgoal.org. On Facebook at NewEnglandGOAL. Gay Share: Coming Out? Gay men’s support group. No fee. Wednesday 7:30pm. Contact Tom or Mike. 369-9448. info@ gayshare.org, www.gayshare.org. LGBT Grief Support: Meets regularly at Hope Hospice, 2085 N. Main St., Providence. Rebecca Sizelove, 415-4301. Helpline for LGBT Youth: Trevor Helpline and social networks for crisis and suicide prevention. 24/7. (866) 4-U-Trevor. HIV+ Gay Men’s Support Group: Refreshments served. AIDS Care Ocean State, 18 Parkis Avenue, Providence. 521-3603. New members contact Scott. 640-3108. Kathys’ Group: Free support group for lesbians with cancer or any life-threatening illness. Partners and caregivers welcome. Meets monthly in Providence. 888-5KATHYS. Mantalk of S.E. Mass: Socializing and discussions for gay, bi and curious men. Confidential. Drug and alcohol-free. 18+. Thursdays in Taunton and first Tuesdays in New Bedford. 7-8:30pm. mantalksouthcoast@yahoo.com. MentalHelp.net: National directory of inpatient treatment options for those with substance abuse problems. www.mentalhelp.net/ care/substance-abuse/ri/ Partner Support Group at Fenway Health: A ten-week support group with the purpose of building community and connections for anyone who identifies as non-trans, ages 18+, and is in a relationship with a trans* person(s). 1340 Boylston Street, Boston, MA. Contact Sarah Eley, LICSW. 857-313-6551. seley@fenwayhealth.org.

Options | August 2016

PFLAG (Parents, & Friends of Lesbians & Gays): Attleboro Chapter serves Southeast Mass. Third Wednesday 6:45 p.m., Second Congregational Church, 50 Park St. (side door). email pflagattleboro@gmail.com. Greater Providence Chapter serves all R.I. First Wednesday at 6:45 p.m., Met School, 325 Public St., Providence. 751-7571. PFLAGprovidence@gmail.com. www. pflagprovidence.org. Rape Crisis Center for S.E. Mass: New Hope, Inc. Advocacy, shelter, services for domestic abuse survivors. Hotline (800) 323HOPE. Office (508)226-4015. Project RENEW: Support, employment services, HIV prevention for male and female sex workers. Amos House, 415 Friendship St., Providence. 272-0220.Trans support group meets Thurs. Info: transoutreachpwr@gmail.com. Queer & Trans Thursdays: Space for LGBTQ and heterosexual youth (24 and under) of color to foster coalition-building and organize to address intersections of oppressions. 6-8pm. 669 Elmwood Ave., Rm. B7, Providence. www.prysm.us. 383-7450. RI Coalition Against Domestic Violence: 24hr helpline: (800) 494-8100. 467-9940. RI Rainbow Support Group: For people with disabilities who identify as LGBTQ. Last Tuesday. 98 Rolfe Street, Cranston. 6-7:30pm. Contact Ken Renaud. 785-2100. Samaritans: 24hr hotline for suicidal, lonely, despairing, depressed. (800) 365-4044. 272-4044 (RI only). www.samaritansri.org. Sexual Health Education & Advocacy Program: HIV, sexual wellness, domestic violence risk reduction. Free, confidential, bilingual (Spanish). No caller ID used. Calls blocked for safety. 861-6191 ext. 121.

Sojourner House: Call for confidential support group. Support, shelter, advocacy and information for people in abusive relationships. Including specific LGBT services. No caller ID used. Outgoing calls blocked for safety. 24hr helpline. 765-3232. 861-6191. Office 8616191. www.sojournerri.org St. Mary’s Home for Children: Sexual abuse treatment for children. 450 Fruit Hill Ave., No. Providence. www.smhfc.org. Adam Cable, 353-3900. Straight Spouses: Groups and online support. www.straightspouse. org. TGI Network of RI: Support, advocacy for transgender, transsexual, gender-variant and/or intersex people. Borderlands peer group 1st & 3d Tues. and 1st & 3d Sat. of the month. Location & information: 441-5058. info@tginetwork.org. www.tginetwork.org. Trans* Partners New England: Gives romantic partners of transgender people a confidential, safe space to explore the impact of a loved one’s gender identity on their relationships, and to connect with other loved ones of transgender people. First Wednesday 6:308:30pm. Providence. Location unpublished for privacy. partners@ tginetwork.org. Trans* Youth Family Allies: Support for gender-variant and transgender children ages 3-18. info@imatyfa.org, www.imatyfa.org. Transgender American Veterans Association (TAVA): Growing organization to address the concerns of fair treatment of transgender veterans and active duty service members. www. tavausa.org. Women’s Resource Center of Newport and Bristol Counties: Offering services to victims of domestic violence. 846-5263. www. wrcnbc.org. q

When you could use a little face time with your health plan. Introducing Your Blue Store.TM A place to talk Rhode Islander to Rhode Islander, in English or Spanish. Learn about health plan options, take a fitness class, or even make a payment. At our stores, you’ll always find a local team that has your back. It’s not what you’d expect from a health plan, but maybe you should. Visit bcbsri.com/yourbluestore

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Blue Cross & Blue Shield of Rhode Island is an independent licensee of the Blue Cross and Blue Shield Association. 02/16 HR-18001

Options | August 2016

WORTH A LOOK

by The Lit Chick

Lynn, Mass.The recordings make me feel as if I’m in the bar with them, even when I’m stuck in traffic on 195, waiting to be late for work again.

Nothing beats sitting in a Rhode Island dive bar at the end of a sticky beach day, sipping a beer and rocking out to a favorite local band late into the night. That’s why I’m loving the latest album by one of my favorites, Jodi Jolt and The Volt. The gender-bending sextet makes complicated guitar riffs look easy. Wherever I’ve found them, whether it be at Rhode Island Pride or at the Fatt Squirrel in downtown Providence, they’ve owned not only the stage, but the entire space. The new album, Live Squared, was released at this year’s Rhode Island PrideFest, and is a rough recording of the band playing at the Pride Goddess Show and Fran’s Place, an LGBT hangout in “When was the last time you sat down and thought to yourself, ‘Why can’t I conquer love? Is it me, or is love fleeting?’” asks Aryka Randall in her new book, She’s Just Not That Into You: The Fab Femme’s Guide to Queer Love and Dating. Randall, the editor-in-chief of femmefriendly TFF Mag, takes her readers on a sometimes painful but always enlightening journey into the heart of why they might be single. She’s Just Not That Into You is like having a brutally honest conversation with a true friend. Randall tells it all without mincing words or even keeping it clean. The book sounds as if Randall wrote it in one fell swoop, typos and all, but forgiving its flaws will leave you open for what may be a perspective-altering experience. “Every relationship is built to teach us something about who we are as spiritual beings,” says Randall. “The more we resist the lesson in the outcome, the longer it takes us to get to the best version of who we are, which, ironically enough, is who we need to be to attract who we want.” I wish I had read this book six years ago; I might have gotten enough time back to take up a useful hobby, like macramé or quilting. Pick up the book online, or support your local bookstore, Books on the Square, 471 Angell Street in Providence, home of Rhode Island’s Queer Book Club. Find more femme fabulousness at www.tffmag.com.

The new album, a follow-up to 2015’s Live, is a must-listen. Their cover of “Wipe Out,” is the best I’ve heard (I’ve heard a lot of them), and “Dressin’ Up Like Bit**es” is a fun take on “Taking Care of Business.” Though their covers show their combined guitar-goddess, keyboard, drum, and trombone-chick prowess, I think the original songs are where Jodi Jolt really shines. The rockabilly swinging “Gender Fluid” kicks off the album and is a tough one to follow. I love the tongue-in-cheek “Crazy Cat Lady,” but my personal favorite, and the one that made me first fall in love with the band, is the head-banging hit, “Jenny Played with Trucks.” In track after track, Jodi Jolt and The Volt seem to be having so much fun it makes me want to jump on stage with them to get in on the act. Jodi Jolt and The Volt are a must-see on stage, but inbetween, order a copy of the new album, available at www. JodiJoltAndTheVolt.com, where you can also find their last album as well as their upcoming show schedule. Catch the band online at Facebook.com/JJATV, and watch them rock local clubs at YouTube.com/JodiJolt.

It was the butch lady in the mermaid costume that turned me onto Logo’s newest sketch comedy, Gay Skit Happens. The quarterly series skewers pop culture and stereotypes with a hilarious LGBTQ slant. The show’s format fits into the recent resurgence of sketch comedy series like my favorites, the Kroll Show and Key and Peele, but with an entirely gay slant. Each season of the series features skits around a central theme, whether it be love (“Tinder vs. Grindr”) to “all things summer,” including The Real Mermaids of Malibu and a superhero whose superpower is the ability to distinguish between the colors mint and teal. The half-hour show features a diverse cast and a special guest, currently Empire star Vivica A. Fox. Fox fits right in, playing along perfectly with the always ridiculously funny situations she finds herself in.The cast of comedy veterans and up-and-comers includes Brian Jordan Alvarez, Tara DeFranciso, Julie Goldman, Stephen Guarino, Ken Kirby, Lyric Lewis, Courtney Pauroso and Bill Posley. Grab your mermaid costume and watch new episodes of Gay Skit Happens on LogoTV and Logo on Demand, and watch sketches online at www.logotv.com. q

Options | August 2016

GO AHEAD

VEG OUT UNIVERSITY HEIGHTS 601 N MAIN ST PROVIDENCE RI WATERMAN 261 WATERMAN ST PROVIDENCE RI GARDEN CITY 151 SOCKANOSSET CROSS RD CRANSTON RI BELLINGHAM 1030 LAKEWAY DR BELLINGHAM MA